"Casey," Alex calls out, approaching the open office door. "Everyone is waiting for you."
She doesn't wait for her to answer and steps inside.
And she immediately involuntarily screams when she sees the blood, and Casey sitting in front of the futon.
"Casey! Oh my god!"
Everything seems to move in slow motion. She runs to Casey, dropping to her knees beside her. She's conscious, but Alex doesn't know how. There's so, so much blood…
It's like she's back at the house. It like finding Noah on the verge of death again. Tears are running down her cheeks, she's crying out, "Casey, no, no, no, no…"
"Stabbed…" Casey manages to choke out, and Alex grabs the blanket off the bed and pushes it against her stomach, trying to use it to stop the bleeding. Casey tilts her head back and groans. "It hurts…"
"I know, you're okay," Alex rushes out. She feels the familiar constricting in her chest and knows she is about to be in the grip of a panic attack. She tries to slow her breathing, tries to stay calm, but she just can't.
"Shit," Alex cries out. Tears start streaming down her cheeks. She has no idea what to do. Casey is shaking, obviously in shock, and has lost way too much blood.
"Tired…" Casey says weakly, closing her eyes.
Alex herself starts shaking as she tries to keep Casey awake. She knows she can't let her go to sleep; not now. "Casey, you need to stay awake for me. Don't go to sleep. Stay awake for me, okay?" She puts her arm around Casey's shoulders and tries to be as calming as possible. "You're going to be okay."
Hold it together, Alex. Hold it together. Don't panic. Don't panic. Casey needs you. You can't let her die. You have to do this.
"Adam…" Casey says, wincing. "Adam did it."
Alex feels herself filled with anger. She had told Adam where Casey was. Where to find her. She had trusted him, just as she had trusted everyone else here.
And Casey had told her not to.
"Alex! Casey!"
A sudden concerned voice from the doorway startles Alex, and she looks up to see Scott rush into the room, his face a mess of concern.
As he approaches, Alex leans in front of Casey. She transforms her face into a look of sternness and says, "Do not touch her! Stay back!"
Scott stops, his eyes wide with concern. "Alex, what happened? She needs help."
The hard look remains on Alex's face. "She was stabbed. By Adam."
"What?" All the color drains from Scott's face. He understands her state of mind, and he backs away. "I'm going to get Renee. Okay? I'm going to get Renee."
Once he is gone, Alex tries to help Casey stand so she can get her onto the futon. She needs to lie down. Casey is trying to keep her breathing even, but it's coming out in ragged breaths from the pain and the shock.
Alex gets Casey onto the futon and desperately looks around for a blanket. The one they had been using is covered in blood. Casey is shaking badly. She knows she has to keep her warm.
She gets up to search the office, but Casey seeks out her hand and holds on weakly. She doesn't want her to leave. Alex feels her heart drop to her feet and immediately sits down. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm going to get you help, okay?"
Renee suddenly rushes into the room, followed by Joanna. Joanna gasps, covering her mouth with her hand, and Renee very calmly stands in front of the futon and tries to calm Alex.
It's like everything is in slow motion for Alex. Everything seems far away and unreal. Alex feels the uncomfortable constriction in her chest and feels her breath hitching.
The blood. The fear. Casey's blood all over Alex's clothes.
Just like when Alex knelt in the kitchen over Noah.
There's so much commotion that Alex can't focus on a single focal point. She knows she should be comforting Casey, but she finds herself drawn up in a ball, her labored breathing nearly making her pass out as she watches Scott, Daniel and Drew attend to Casey.
Joanna and Renee are trying to calm Alex, their meaningless words falling on deaf ears as she watches Scarlett scramble in with a roll of medical gauze. Something is said about medical supplies, and before Alex can comprehend what is happening next, Scarlett has taken Casey's shirt off and they are wrapping her in the gauze.
"Noah. Noah died in my arms. I was covered in his blood," Alex says, rocking back and forth and speaking into her knees. She feels a hand pressed onto her back; either Renee or Joanna, she isn't sure which. "Casey can't die too. Please."
Alex has been through immeasurable loss in such a short period of time. The trauma was always there, bubbling on the surface.
Alex isn't able to comprehend how much time has passed, but somehow Renee and Joanna managed to get her sitting in the office chair. Someone has gotten Casey onto the futon, and she's moaning lightly.
"Casey, are you okay?" Alex asks, wanting to get up and go sit with her. Joanna puts her hand on her arm to stop her. "Please, I want to – "
"Alex," Joanna says softly. "Sweetheart, she's in bad shape. We just want you to – "
Alex quickly gets up. Her breathing is still labored, and she manages to keep more tears at bay until she kneels beside the futon. "Casey," she says tearfully. "Casey, you are going to be all right. You hear me?" Casey slowly opens her eyes and Alex takes her hand. "You listen to me, Casey Novak. I'm not going to lose you too, okay?"
Casey very slowly nods. She's in immense pain, but she takes Alex's words to heart and squeezes her hand.
Alex gulps when she sees the gauze wrap already soaking through with blood. She turns to face everyone else in the room. "We have to get her help. There has to be someone who can help – please."
Drew looks as if he's about to say something, but Scott gives him a harsh look to silence him.
"Alex," Casey says, squeezing her hand and making her turn back around. She speaks around her pain, wincing. "You have to go without me. Go to Chesterfield. I know you can do it."
"No," Alex says, allowing a single tear to slide down her cheek. "I can't. Not without you. And you're my best friend; I'm not leaving you."
Casey smiles. "Olivia needs you. You guys can come back and get me."
Alex looks around the room, at the audience that has formed. She doesn't want to be rude, but also doesn't want everyone standing there watching them.
"Can we be alone?" she asks quietly. "If you guys could go find anything else that may help Casey it would be greatly appreciated. We just need to speak privately."
"We don't want to leave you alone, in case – " Renee starts to say.
Alex knows what the rest of that sentence was going to be. In case she dies.
Everyone does leave the room, and Alex turns back to Casey. "I'm not leaving. No deal is on the table for this. No room for debate, counselor."
Casey manages a small smile, and slowly closes her eyes. "I'm so tired…"
Alex feels her heart clench. She is afraid if Casey goes to sleep, she won't ever wake up.
But the logical part of her knows she has lost a lot of blood and needs to rest.
Alex sits next to Casey until she has fallen asleep, her breathing even and stable. She sits for several minutes, making sure she's still breathing, before she gets up and leaves the room.
Joanna is right outside the door. She places a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Scott and Renee went to look for anything that can help. Do you need to - ?"
Alex holds up her hand. She appreciates the kindness everyone – especially Joanna – has shown them.
But she needs a moment. She needs a moment to fall apart in private, a moment to be human.
She's thinking about Noah when she enters the restroom. She locks the door to assure she will be alone. The battery operated lantern is sitting on the edge of the sink and she switches it on, bathing the room in soft light.
She leans on the sink, gripping the sides of the porcelain. She looks at herself in the mirror and bursts into tears.
She thinks about Noah's face – his sweet, innocent face. How it would light up when he smiled or laughed. The dimples that would pop out and make her heart swell. His curly hair that he hated but she always thought was adorable.
The way his mother doted on him. The way he had Alex wrapped around his finger so easily.
She laughs around her tears when she hears his voice – so clear in her head – call her "mom." It's almost as if he's standing next to her speaking right into her ear. She nearly turns around and looks.
But then more images flood her mind.
Noah laying on the hard kitchen floor. The last place he would ever be. The pool of blood around his little body.
The empty look in his eyes as Alex pleaded for him to stay with her. The hopeless she felt when she knew he was slipping away.
Her body is wracked with sobs as she sits on the cold hard floor and rocks back and forth.
Alex's heart has been filled with nothing but loss. She doesn't think she could survive another one.
2.
Three days go by. Casey holds on, but by the third day she has started to go downhill.
Infection has set in. Her fever rages on for nearly twenty four hours and she falls in and out of consciousness, falling into fitful sleeps.
The stab wounds on her stomach have become swollen and begin discharging yellow puss. Alex changes the dressing several times a day, but on that third day Scott doesn't supply her with any more gauze wrap.
The day before Alex had invited the husky inside. He had been filthy; his once glorious fur matted and dirty. Alex had taken him right into the restroom and washed him as best she could. Despite Scott's objections she used soap and lathered him, trying to work out the matts with her hands.
It had taken him hours to dry but neither he or Casey had seemed to mind. He jumped right up on the futon and curled up next to Casey as if he knew what was happening. She wasn't awake often, but she had opened her eyes and smiled, petting his soft wet fur.
The tags on his faded blue collar claimed his name to be Diego. Alex wondered if he lost his humans or if they had died.
He hadn't left her side for anything besides being let out to do his business since. Alex had even sneaked him some raviolis to eat, and she had to hold the can in front of him on the futon to get him to eat.
There was no question that he was Casey's dog now.
Alex looks down at Casey, frowning at the layer of sweat glistening on her forehead from her fever. Her eyes are tightly closed, and she lets out a moan before popping her eyes open suddenly and coughing, struggling to sit up.
Alex is at her side in an instant. "It's okay," she says quickly, helping her to sit up. "You're okay."
Casey coughs harshly and deeply, turning her head to the side and coughing up blood onto the floor.
Alex feels herself grow pale. Casey needs help, and she needs it now.
Once Casey has stopped coughing and is laying back down Alex gets up and goes in search of Scott or Renee.
Scarlett and Carlos left the day before to continue their journey, and Alex finds Scott cleaning up the room they had been staying in.
She knocks on the open door and pokes her head inside. "I was wondering if you came across any more gauze wrap? Casey needs another wrapping. The discharge is quite bad. I think the wounds are infected."
It takes a moment for Scott to turn around. When he does, his face is set and set in seriousness.
"I'm afraid we've given all we can. There are those out there who may come that may need help as well. Casey has been getting worse, and it's clear we can't do enough to save her." She looks away and then looks back at her. "I'm sorry, Alex, but we can't use up any more of our resources on a hopeless cause."
Anger grips Alex immediately. Hopeless cause? How could he even say that?
"Casey isn't a hopeless cause," Alex says softly. "She would never, ever give up on anyone. She's done more for me than I deserve, and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for her. I would still be sitting on the kitchen floor of my house in shock, refusing to live. But Casey wouldn't have that. You know, we never liked each other before. Months ago, we would be at each other's throats." Her eyes fill with tears. "And now she's one of the two people I care about most. I will not let her die."
"You should go on to find your wife, like Casey wanted you to," Scott says. "I'm sorry, Alex. But we cannot help any further."
Alex stands there for a moment, trying to find the right words. When she finds them, she says, "You're supposed to be a man of God, and yet you will turn your back on one of His children so easily?"
Scott has an instant rebuttal. "I look out for all of God's children. We're a sanctuary here. There are many that can be helped, and I can't sacrifice them for one who cannot be saved."
"We will be leaving," Alex says, turning on her heel. "I'm going to take Casey to go find her help."
She strolls out of the room and down the hall, Scott right behind her. "You can't be serious. There is no way she can be moved, Alex. She is no shape to walk on her own."
"We walked by a sign for a hospital a few miles back."
"Hospitals in these parts haven't gotten supplies in weeks. There is no one there."
"I have to try," Alex says. She spins around to face Scott. "If you won't help us, we have no choice. We'll be gone within the hour."
She leaves him standing in the hall and slams the office door behind her.
Diego lifts his head and looks at her as she starts to pack her backpack. Casey had managed to tell her that Adam took hers, so she shoves everything she can into her own. She folds the map and the drawing Casey had given her and slides them into the front pocket. She rolls up the few extra clothes they have, takes a flashlight she had found in the office and other various items she thinks may help them.
She has no idea how she's actually going to get help for Casey. She has no plan, and is running blindly right now.
She's interrupted by a knock on the door, which makes her straighten up and sigh.
"I've already told you we are leaving," Alex calls out, zipping her backpack angrily.
"It's Drew," the voice on the other side of the door says. "I need to speak with you."
Alex frowns in confusion and immediately goes to the door. Drew was always so quiet and kept to himself. What could he want to talk to her about?
"I know someone who can help her," he says as soon as Alex opens the door. "I overheard your conversation with Scott. If we can get her to him, I know someone who can help."
"Who?" Alex asks, without any hesitation.
"Doctor Robbins; he was a trauma doctor at the nearby hospital. He left when it was apparent that the hospital wouldn't be able to stay open. He's managed to keep a flow of supplies – at great cost to him – and is treating those who are in need out of his home." He pauses, trying to gauge Alex's reaction. "I know this because my family was helping run supplies to him. My mom was a nurse."
Alex notices he says "was"a nurse and not "is" and decides not to ask. She doesn't need to hear about more loss.
"How long ago?"
"Last time I was there was two weeks ago, with my brother. We were planning to continue on in a few days. We could take you there – you and Casey. I'm afraid it is a bit of a walk, and the weather is bad. And I cannot guarantee nothing has happened in the last two weeks, but…it may be your friend's only chance."
Alex finds herself conflicted. She would like to believe that Drew is telling the truth; every part of her wants to think he is. But Casey warned her about trusting so easily, and look what had happened with Adam…
What if he was lying? What if they were going to walk into a trap?
Casey suddenly starts coughing up blood again and moans deeply, and Alex feels her heart wrench again.
She looks back at Drew. "How long would the walk be?"
"A day or so. Maybe more, depending on how the weather cooperates or what we run into."
Alex looks back at Casey and gulps. "She may not have that long. And there's no way she can walk."
"My brother and I can take turns carrying her," Drew says. "I understand if you don't want to go for it. But I don't see any other options for Casey, and I'd hate to think something could have been done to save her and we didn't try."
Alex reluctantly agrees. Casey needs help, and help isn't going to come to them here. What choice does she have?
Drew goes to talk to his brother and gather any supplies they may have, while Alex continues packing up what she can.
She can't shake the feeling that something else is going on and hopes against all hope that she's wrong.
3.
It takes four hours to walk to Doctor Robbins' residence. They could have made it there in half the time if they hadn't had to keep stopping, but Casey's condition continued to get worse and she was delirious with fever. She would say things that didn't make sense and eventually stopped talking all together.
That was about an hour before they reached their destination, and Alex had held herself together pretty well up until then. She kept talking to Casey as they walked, as she was passed between Daniel and Drew. Both boys were strong and didn't flinch even once while they were carrying her.
As if by some miracle, it wasn't nearly as cold as it had been when they set out. Their coats were more than sufficient for warmth, and they had wrapped Casey in a blanket. She wouldn't stop shaking from her fever.
Diego had walked right alongside them; not missing a step. He seemed to sense that Casey was in bad shape, and once in awhile would stop walking to turn and look at her.
The air quality had gotten so bad that Alex had had a coughing fit when she started walking. She hadn't been outside for a long period of time in a few days, and her lungs objected to the sudden assault of pollution. There seemed to be a permanent haze in the air and it always looked like it was twilight even at one o'clock in the afternoon.
Alex fell apart when Casey stopped talking. She went limp in Daniel's arms; her eyes closed. She was breathing, had a pulse, but was completely unresponsive. Alex had cried, and as they continued walking, she prayed out loud; something she never did.
She didn't care what she had to bargain to keep Casey alive; she was going to do it. She was not going to lose another person. Her soul couldn't take another loss.
Drew had gone ahead when they approached the street. It was a nice neighborhood; or at least it used to be. Most houses had broken windows. Alex could imagine most of the garages used to contain expensive SUVs, much like the Volvo she used to own.
They continued down the street until Daniel turned into a driveway. There were three dirty bikes leaning against the white house as well as a moped parked haphazardly in the driveway; but no cars.
Alex saw a curtain part as they approached the back door, and it opened before they could even knock.
Drew came out the door alongside a middle-aged man in a simple white sweatshirt and jeans. He adjusted his glasses on his nose and nodded at Alex, before asking Daniel a serious of questions as they went into the house.
The door was locked behind them, and Alex couldn't help but notice immediately that the house was warm. They walked through what appeared to be a living room, where a fire was going in the fireplace.
There was a hospital bed in the living room with a child laying in it. A woman – Alex assumed his mother – was sitting next to the bed sobbing.
Alex had to look away. She felt tears ebbing at the surface, and swallowed them down.
They stopped at a bedroom off to the right. There was a twin sized bed with a man laying in it; his head wrapped tightly in bandages. His appeared to be asleep or unconscious; Alex didn't know which. Her entire body shuttered when she saw a bucket of bloody water and a mop next to his bed.
"Wheel in one of the beds," the man said, turning to the woman who had just entered. He turned to look at Casey. "I'm Doctor Robbins; but call me George. What is your friend's name?"
"Casey," Alex says, coming up to stand beside them.
Casey is still limp in Daniel's arms. A hospital bed stripped down to the bare mattress is wheeled into the room, and the woman opens the closet door and removes a blanket, spreading it out on the rickety bed. Daniel lies Casey down and backs away so that George can examine her.
George takes off Casey's coat and then removes her sweater, and Alex can't help but think that it feels wrong. She must be making a face, because the woman slides her arm around her and smiles. "I'm Heather; George's wife. George is very gentle; please don't worry. What is your name?"
Alex looks at her, her eyes wide. "Alex. My name is Alex."
George sighs when he sees the swollen and pussing wounds on Casey's stomach. "Oh, boy. This is not good."
Not words you want to hear from a doctor.
"When did this happen?"
"Three days ago," Alex says. "She didn't really get bad until yesterday. Is – is she going to be all right?"
Instead of answering George looks to his wife. "Get me gloves, towels, peroxide, saline and an IV with a penicillin bag."
Casey comes to as George is pushing around on her wounds, the pain no doubt kickstarting her into consciousness.
She looks around, blinking. She appears to be confused by her surroundings so Alex steps forward. "Casey – you're okay. He's a doctor."
"Alex?" she asks, blinking rapidly as if she's trying to focus on her. Alex nods, and Casey groans. "I feel really bad…where is Diego…"
Alex looks around. She had forgotten about him. She starts to panic, and then sees him sitting at the foot of the hospital bed obediently, watching everything that is being done to Casey.
"He's here, Casey. And so am I. You are going to be all right."
"Casey, I'm Doctor Robbins, but everyone calls me George. Your friends got you here just in time. I want you to lie back and relax for me, can you do that?" George says, putting on a pair of rubber gloves as soon as his wife reappears.
Heather starts getting the bag connected to the IV, working at an expert pace. Alex watches her as George arranges the peroxide and saline bottles on the tray that Heather had brought him.
He grabs a towel and looks at Alex. "I need you to keep her calm. The wounds need to be cleaned and disinfected, and it is going to hurt greatly. Just try to keep her as still as possible."
Alex nods, swallowing around the lump in her throat. She clears her throat and takes Casey's hand again. "Look at me, Casey. Focus on me, okay? I know I'm not much to look at right now, but don't watch what the doc is doing, okay?"
Casey seems aware of what George is about to do, and covers her eyes with her arm. He asks her if she's ready and she gives only a small nod in response.
It hurts – immensely. The minute the solution of saline and peroxide touches her infected flesh, it feels like someone is holding a blowtorch there. Casey would swear she is on fire. She can hear the sizzle of the peroxide doing its job and can't help but thrash around against the pain.
"We have a couple pain meds left," Heather suddenly says. "I'll get them."
George stops the cleaning for a few seconds to give Casey some relief, and she shakes her head wildly. "No – I can handle it. Save them for someone else."
"Good girl, Casey, I'm almost done," George says. Her nods at Alex, indicating that what he's doing is about to get worse. "I need to go just a little deeper. Take a deep breath."
Alex feels like she is going to pass out when she sees the stream of brown liquid that rolls out of the wounds when George pushes his giant swab further inside.
He turns it around, cleaning out the infected flesh and debris. At this point Casey is screaming and Alex is trying to comfort her, and suddenly she closes her eyes and relaxes completely.
Alex looks horrified, and as she looks at George, he says, "It's okay. She passed out from the pain. It's okay."
He continues to clean the wounds, and Alex lets go of Casey's hand and looks away. Blood and body fluids have always made her feel queasy.
"You need to sit, my dear; you've gone quite pale," Heather says, taking her by the hand and leading her out of the room. "George is going to start an antibiotic IV on your friend. She needs to rest, and let's get you sitting down, okay?"
Alex follows behind her to another bedroom containing a large bed and bedroom furniture. Their bedroom, Alex assumes. Daniel and Drew are there.
"How is she?" Drew asks.
"I think she will be okay," Alex says. "Thanks to you guys. I can't thank you enough."
Daniel nods. "It's our pleasure. We won't be staying though; we intended to move on."
She thanks both the boys again and gives them each a hug, wishing them luck on their journey on.
"Take a seat," Heather says, motioning to the bed. "Are you hungry? Or thirsty? I'm going to – " Footsteps are heard in the hallway, and Heather pokes her head out. "Dear, come in. I'd like you to meet someone."
A woman hobbles into the room, her arm in a sling and her leg in a long brace.
If she hadn't been wearing the leg brace it wouldn't have been the first thing that Alex noticed, and she would have recognized her first. But as her eyes travel up to see the face of the woman, her heart stops.
"Alex?!"
The woman standing in front of her in a sling, leg brace and healing cuts on her face, is Olivia.