Note: This chapter is going to seem filler-ish, but I swear it sets up some future plot points and characterization. As always, I love any comments and criticism you'd like to give me. Comments are the fuel I use to write.

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
PROFESSIONAL BADASS

The Hogwarts carriage stopped and we all hopped off. I shouldered my bag and followed Hannah through the small crowd of people. We were supposed to meet her mom on the platform and then she'd apparate us to Hannah's house.

I looked through the crowd of Hogwarts school uniforms and milling about adults trying to guess which one was Hannah's mom. There was a woman in a smart navy business suit and slick blonde bun that I was sure was the one, but we passed her right by.

Eventually, we stopped in front of a stout woman with short blonde hair and I couldn't help raising my eyebrows in surprise.

She was definitely not what I had pictured Hannah's mom to look like.

She wasn't an overweight woman, but she was thick as if she was accustomed to regular physical activity and the outdoors. She wore a red leather jacket, faded jeans, and had a short blonde pixie cut. A curl of purple smoke wafted off of a long cigarette hanging from her lip. The most striking thing about her was the stone foot. It wasn't just her foot that was stone either, everything from her shin down was gray granite; boot and all.

The general air of coolness was ruined when she spotted us and started waving to us like a maniac.

"Pumpkin! Over here! Over here!" Hannah's mom waved her arms again wildly drawing attention from those all around her.

Hannah looked happy but embarrassed and stopped short of her mom's outstretched arms. Hannah's mom jumped forward anyway and grabbed her daughter in a bone crunching hug.

"Pumpkin, I've missed you so much! Oh, look how you've grown!" Hannah's mom gushed and jostled Hannah around. It kind of reminded me of someone being mauled by a bear.

"MMfflloomum," Hannah said muffled by her mom's hug.

Eventually, Hannah's mother set her down and turned toward us.

"Hello, Susan. Your father said he would try to come to dinner sometime this week if he can. He's still covering for me at the office so I don't know if he'll be able to get away," Hannah's mom said and gave Susan a lesser version of her bear mauling hug.

"Thanks for inviting us to stay for the week, Samantha," Susan replied cheerfully after Hannah's mom had released her.

Samantha turned towards me and Eloise, and I couldn't help but take a cautious step back.

"And you are Kasey and Eloise?" Samantha asked enthusiastically and held out her hand. She had Hannah's bright cornflower blue eyes.

Eloise shook her hand and I followed suit. Samantha had calloused palms and a ridiculously strong handshake.

"It's nice to meet you ma'am," I said politely. I opened and closed my hand a few times to get the feeling to come back into it.

"Hello," Eloise squeaked beside me.

"All right you lot, are you ready to go?" Samantha asked. We all nodded. "Good. I'll be apparating you in groups of two. Hannah and Susan, I'll take you first since you're used to it. The other two of you are Muggleborn? Never apparated before?"

Eloise and I nodded.

"I'll take you girls second then. Then I can deal with the vomit all at once," Samantha replied cheerfully and linked arms with Hannah and Susan. There was a loud CRACK and Samantha was gone.

Vomit? Oh great…

Samantha reappeared an instant later.

"Give me your arms," Samantha commanded. I moved my bag to my other shoulder and linked arms with her. Eloise did the same. "Now look to the side… no not my side the side away from my face. It's much too early in the day to get vomit in my hair. And we're off!"

The world blurred around me and suddenly I was being squeezed on all sides. It was like I was stuck in the straw of a giant's milkshake and stuck halfway. I couldn't breathe. Everything was dark. It was cold. I was coming up with weird metaphors involving giants. How long was this going to-

The world pop backed into existence and I immediately vomited all over my shoes.

"Get it all out. The first time's the worst! A few more times and you won't even vomit at all!" Samantha exclaimed while patting my back.

I blinked, feeling slightly dizzy. Beside me, Eloise was throwing up too. I blinked again and my vision solidified.

"All done? Good, now let's get rid of this," Samantha said and waved her wand. The vomit vanished.

I bent back up and looked around. We were in a very normal living room. Hannah had said she lived in a small town somewhere in Hertfordshire… Although, we might as well be in the Land of Oz for as much as I know about England's geography. I really need to get a map.

It was small by American standards, but it was nicely furnished and had a beige couch and television. Generic pastoral pictures lined the walls and I could see a kitchen down a short hallway that had a stove and a large fridge. It was all very normal. There wasn't even a fireplace for the floo.

"Sorry, for um, vomiting in your house," I apologized awkwardly.

"It wasn't the first time I've cleaned up vomit and it won't be the last. What do you think of our home?" Samantha asked curiously.

"It's uh, very nice?" I responded politely. What a weird question to ask a kid.

"Surprisingly normal right?" Samantha asked and seemed very interested in our opinion for some reason.

"Err yes. I wouldn't have suspected someone magical lives here," Eloise responded hesitatingly.

For some reason this seemed to really please Samantha. "I knew I did an excellent job decorating! My husband said I went with too many doilies and lacy bits, but Muggles love their doilies and lacy bits don't' they?"

"Uh, yes?" I responded uncertainly.

"Mum, stop harassing my friends," Hannah responded from the kitchen. I looked into the hallway. Hannah was… standing inside the refrigerator? Her head was poking through the open top freezer door.

I walked over to the kitchen.

Hannah was indeed inside the refrigerator. It looked like her severed head was suspended in the freezer next to a tub of icecream. The effect was really unnerving.

"This is just the Muggle side of the house. We keep it up for when Papa has Muggle friends over. My real bedroom is downstairs," Hannah's disembodied head said.

I opened the bottom door of the refrigerator. The illusion faded away like smoke and revealed Hannah standing at the top of a set of wooden steps.

"You can leave your stuff in the kitchen. Mum says you'll be staying in our fake Muggle bedrooms on the top floor. Come on! Let me show you the real house!" Hannah exclaimed and started down the steps.

I dropped my bag in the kitchen and went after Hannah. I had to take two steps at a time to keep up. Eloise ran down the steps after me.

Now, this looked much more like a wizarding house.

We were in a large stone kitchen. A long solid looking wooden table was in the middle of the room laden down with random potion ingredients. There was an elaborate stone fireplace on the far wall that was large enough to use as a floo. Next to the fireplace was a bubbling cauldron that was large enough to bathe in. And in fact, there was a set of steps and a ledge right next to it like someone might have been doing just that. Although, I wouldn't want to. The green bubbly liquid inside smelled like moldy cheese.

Along the walls were large bay windows showing a picturesque field of flowers even though I knew we must be underground. Several hallways led off to other rooms.

"Mum, don't leave your gross foot things laying about when we have company," Hannah scolded.

Samantha came down the steps awkwardly. Her stone foot made loud "clunks" as she slowly descended the steps. When she got to the bottom, she turned towards Hannah. "I need to soak my foot three times a day to get it back to normal. I'm not bothering to put the ingredients up," Samantha explained and then grinned. "I'm sure I can trust you girls not to stick your fingers in it or try to eat it."

Hannah looked scandalized. "We're not babies mum!"

Samantha laughed and ruffled Hannah's hair.

"Pumpkin, I'll be in my office doing paperwork if you need me. Your father said he'd bring takeout on the way home." Samantha regarded the rest of us for a moment. "Do you girls like Chinese?"

Oh my god. I haven't had Chinese food since being thrown into another dimension. And wizards getting Chinese take out seems really odd, but I'm not going to complain.

"I don't like Chinese so much as love it and would marry it if given the chance," I responded enthusiastically.

Eloise agreed with me and Susan just shrugged.

"Good enough for me. Don't get into too much trouble girls," Samantha called out as she walked away.

Once Samantha was gone, I turned toward Hannah with a smirk. "So "pumpkin" huh?"

Hannah wrinkled her nose and just said, "Ugh."

Susan grinned viciously. "It's because her head was shaped like a pumpkin when she was born."

"It was not!" Hannah glared at Susan and then continued, "When I was four my favorite color was orange and so I… accidentally mind you… turned myself orange."

"There are pictures!" Susan added gleefully.

"Ugh," Hannah said and winced.

Eloise patted her arm. "It's okay. We all did embarrassing magical things as a kid. I made a sheep fly once when I was seven. My dad had to tie a rope around its leg and tie it down like a balloon."

The girls giggled and I couldn't help laughing too. Eloise's poor dad. Wrangling a panicking sheep balloon couldn't have been easy. How do Muggleborn parents cope? Was that how he found out magic existed?

"Come on, let me show you my room!" Hannah called out and bounded across the room.

Hannah's room was just what I thought it would be: a sea of pink and orange sparkles, ruffles, and fluffy stuffed animals. The magically animated stuffed animals were unnerving. Although, I shouldn't have been surprised. Wizards seemed to enjoy animating things that have no business pretending to have a brain. I swear their creepy doll eyes followed me around the room...waiting with malice to go all Chucky on me. I was relieved when we finally got called upstairs for dinner.

"Come back and play with usssss!" A well worn teddy bear and a fancy Victorian looking doll called out as we walked out of the room and back up the steps for dinner. The doll's head was cocked at an awkward angle and the teddy bear's black soulless eyes were slightly out of socket.

I resisted the urge to push on Eloise's back and make her take the steps faster.

"Stay forever and play with ussss!" The doll pleaded from the entryway of Hannah's room.

I reached the landing and shut the door with a sigh of relief. The other girls seemed unaffected for some reason. The fools.

Hannah sat down at the kitchen table. "Mum, give my old dolls to my younger cousin Audre. I'm too old for them now."

Good idea. Before they steal your soul while you're asleep…

Samantha's paused in setting down plates and silverware. "Are you sure? Even Mr. Tiddlywinks?"

Hannah blushed and Susan snickered.

"If um… she doesn't want him I'm sure keeping one is fine. For nostalgia. But the rest have to go," Hannah muttered still blushing bright red.

Go straight into a fire more like.

"You're breaking your mum's heart," Samantha said and ruffled Hannah's hair.

Hannah batted her hand away. "Stop it mum. I'm not a little child anymore."

I heard the front door open.

"Papa's home!" Hannah exclaimed and ran out of the kitchen.

Yep. You're such a calm mature adult Hannah.

A few moments later, Hannah emerged on the arm of… wow.

A beautiful man.

Hannah's dad had slick black hair, a manly three o'clock shadow, steely brown eyes, and filled out a very expensive looking immaculate dark blue suit nicely. The guy was just… beautiful. But not in a feminine way. He was man beautiful. Manly handsome? No, manly beautiful. That's what I'm going with.

"Ah, these are Hannah's new friends we've heard so much about?" Hannah's dad asked and extended his hand to me. "Nice to meet you. I'm Darren Abbot."

I mutely shook his hand.

So… man pretty…

Darren extended his hand to Eloise and she managed to eek out a squeak that may or may not have been "hello".

I tore my eyes away and tried not to stare. I didn't want to get caught checking out one of my friends' dad no matter how beautiful of a man he was. But seriously, he could be a movie star or something. Or in a fancy male cologne ad with those dark brown eyes and chiseled jaw line… Ugh, stop thinking about it!

"This is Kasey and Eloise," Hannah pointed to us and then took the takeout bags from her father.

The food was served and I focused on eating while Hannah chattered on to her parents about Hogwarts and her studies.

The Chinese food was…different. I'd forgotten that American Chinese food was well… Americanized. So it made sense that the Chinese food here would be Britishized. It wasn't bad food per se, it was just kind different to what I was used to. Maybe a little blander? No General Tso's chicken either, but that often tasted different depending on where you got it even in America.

I made sure to eat the same amount as my friends. Being polite and eating whatever you're served when you were at a friend's house had been ingrained into me by my mom at a young age.

Still… It made me feel off. I guess I wasn't expecting the lack of General Tso's chicken of all things to make me feel homesick.

Hannah said something to me, and I pulled myself together mentally.

"Sorry, what was that?" I asked and focused back on the dinner conversation.

"I said, did you know that Papa is a tailor on Savile Row?" Hannah bragged.

I sensed I was supposed to know where that is and be impressed, so I opened my mouth and went, "Oooooh."

Eloise went "ooooh" a second later so that must have been the right move.

"Important Muggles get their suits made at Papa's shop. He's made suits for Muggle actors, rich business men, and even the royal family. Papa's met several dukes. He even..." Hannah paused for dramatic effect. "Met the Duke of Edinburgh once."

Eloise and even Susan went "ooh" so I added my "ooh" a second later.

Susan looked at me knowingly and then leaned down and whispered, "That's the Queen's husband."

"Oooh," I said, genuinely this time.

Darren chuckled, "While I do appreciate a good spot of bragging, I have never met him. We only received his measurements." He smirked. "I did sew a pair of his trousers though."

"So what do your parents do for a living?" Darren asked me and Eloise.

"My family owns a sheep farm in Cumbria," Eloise answered.

"My parents work with computers. They're programmers and um, consultants," I replied vaguely.

"Oh? We've been working on digitizing our ordering system and stock. What company do they work for?" Darren asked.

Fuuuuuck.

"Innovative Technology Solutions. It's their own company," I heard my mouth say without consulting my brain.

Innovative Technology Solutions! Don't you dare forget brain! Fuck, I'm going to have to sneak off and write it down. When I get nervous my brain might as well be a metal sieve. I've got to drag this conversation elsewhere.

"So, what happened to your foot?" I asked randomly.

I saw my friends' eyebrows hit their hairline and I realized I was being 'that rude, blunt American girl' again.

Samantha surprised me though. Instead of being insulted, she cackled loudly like a Muggle Halloween witch display and then swung her leg up right on top of the dinner table with a THUD.

"Kicked a gorgon in the face." Samantha gestured to her leg and I gave up all pretense of politeness and got up to ogle it up close. Eloise and Susan jumped up and came over too. Hannah stayed seated and kept eating her steamed broccoli.

Hmm, if I remember correctly, gorgons are eight foot tall lizard-like people that live in the interconnected series of tunnels and underground cities that are collectively referred to as "The Underground". They get in territorial fights with dwarves and goblins. They can turn people permanently to stone with a look. Medusa from the Muggle myth was a gorgon? I don't know much more than that though.

"So why aren't you uh…" I trailed off. 'Why aren't you dead?' seemed too rude to ask someone at their own dinner table, even by my low standards.

"Dead?" Samantha finished for me. She seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing.

"Uh, yeah…" I answered awkwardly. I glanced over at Hannah, but she seemed to be determined to ignore us in favor of her food.

"It was not for lack of trying on the gorgon's part. Got between her and a particularly unruly dwarf. There was a bit of a smuggling problem going on." Samantha shrugged and then started filling her plate again with food.

"So Gorgon's don't automatically kill you?" I asked.

"She didn't hit me head-on. Gorgons can only petrify parts they can see. All she saw was my boot when I kicked her in the face." Samantha took her foot off the dinner table. "Took me out of commission for awhile though. Bit annoying."

"Wait… gorgons are really tall. How did you kick one in the face?" I asked curiously.

Samantha grinned evilly. "I jumped."

So Hannah's mom was like, a professional badass? Cool.

"How high can you jump?! And how? Is it a spell?" I asked excitedly. Was there a super jump spell? Oooh, I hope there's a super jump spell!

Hannah gave me a dirty look.

Sorry, Hannah. But… super jump spell… I have to know.

"Oh, about six meters or so." Samantha laughed. "I try not to go too high though. It's hell on the knees."

Six meters?! That's… probably pretty high? Damn American education system! I'm still terrible with the metric system! That's probably affecting my Potion's grade now that I think about it…

"What's the name of the super jump spell? Is it hard? Can you show us?" I leaned forward eagerly.

"It's not a super jump spell." Samantha pulled back the sleeves of her shirt to reveal thick metal bracelets on each hand. The silver bracelets had runes carved into their surface that I didn't recognize.

I looked up at her quizzically.

"It's super strength," Samantha admitted with a grin.

"Oooohhh," I said loudly, enthralled.

Oliver's head is going to explode when I tell him about this.

"These are called Herculean bracers. They've been passed down from mother to daughter for generations in our family. They give the wearer strength far beyond any normal person. You can jump higher, punch harder—"

"Break things," Darren interrupted with amusement.

Samantha looked sheepish. "I may have had… mishaps on occasion."

"Mum keeps accidently ripping the front door off of its hinges. She's going to give our old Muggle neighbor a heart attack someday," Hannah added.

"Someday, they'll be yours Hannah," Samantha said.

I glanced over at Hannah. She seemed unimpressed.

How she could be unimpressed with freaking SUPER STRENGTH GAUNTLETS I have no idea. Lucky. All the coolest things are family heirlooms. The only thing I was set to inherit was a large collection of Precious Moments figurines and those were in another dimension.

"Oh, so something like that probably isn't for sale anywhere," I said disappointed.

"No, not unless you look on the black market," Samantha said and shrugged.

"So where would one find the black market? Hypothetically?" I asked.

"Ha, you're a cute kid." Samantha laughed and ruffled my hair.

I didn't think it was actually a place. Probably. Although, knowing the wizarding world I wouldn't be surprised if it was an actual market that's painted black located on a street named Evil Alley.

The conversation drifted back to more mundane topics like school work and Quidditch. Eventually, we were done eating and we went back to Hannah's room to hang out before retiring for the night. I was put up in Hannah's parent's fake bedroom.

It was a very impersonal room. I could tell they didn't really use it as their actual bedroom. It felt like a hotel room except for all of the lacy doilies.

There really was an excessive amount of doilies.

The first couple days of vacation were pretty relaxing overall. I'd convinced/harassed my friends into finishing our homework on the first day so it wouldn't loom over us for the rest of our time off. We then read, listened to the wireless, played cards, took a walk around the neighborhood (there wasn't much to see), and even went to a Muggle movie with Hannah's mom. Hannah's parents took her to the movies regularly so she was unimpressed, but Susan was a bit wide-eyed through the whole experience.

I hope she doesn't base her opinion on Muggle cinema solely on her experience with Fern Gully…

Halfway through the holiday week, we decided to spend some time outside in the garden. English backyards were tiny, but at least we were getting fresh air. I was starting to feel a little cooped up. Currently, we were all sitting around just… loitering mostly.

"Why is your neighbor staring at us?" Eloise whispered to Hannah.

Hannah's neighbor was peering at us from across the street. I could clearly see the old lady's long nose poking through a slit in her living room curtains.

"She does that. Just ignore her. Nosey old crone," Hannah muttered and continued to braid my hair.

Does she not realize we could see her?

"She's not being subtle," Susan said and stared right back at her.

"I feel like we should be doing something delinquent like smoking or giving each other prison tattoos," I commented idly.

"I want a unicorn tattoo," Eloise said playing along.

"I've seen how well you draw. I'm not letting you give me a tattoo," Susan quipped.

"Fine. I shouldn't give myself any identifying marks anyways just in case I need to run away from the law someday," I joked.

Hannah's mom ironically walked out of the back door at that moment. She was balancing a tray of tea in her hand and had a quaffle under her arm.

"I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that," Samantha said and sat the tea tray down on a small stone outdoor table. Her foot currently looked like it was in a cast instead of being made of stone. She must have cast an illusion spell before coming out.

"Hide the contraband! It's the cops!" I stage whispered.

Eloise giggled.

I eyed the tea tray with trepidation. It looks like I was going to have to stomach some horrible dirty weed water again. I knew better than to refer to tea as "dirty weed water" out loud, though. Last time I did, I thought my friends were going to get me deported.

"Do you want to throw around the old quaffle, Hannah?" Samantha asked, tossing the ball back and forth between her hands.

Unlike the rest of the Quidditch balls/gear, the quaffle didn't do anything magical, so you could get away with tossing it around in your Muggle neighborhood garden.

"No, thanks. I just did my nails. Besides, Quidditch isn't really my thing mum," Hannah said dismissively and "braided" my hair again. I feel like she's just putting knots in it.

Samantha's face fell. "You used to love the Chudley Cannons."

Wow, the Cannons? Even I know they're lame.

"That was ages ago. The Chudley Cannons are terrible mum. They're practically cursed," Hannah said thoughtlessly.

"Oh…" Samantha muttered looking disappointed. She sat the quaffle down.

I wonder if the Chudley Cannons are actually cursed? I know that it's possible to curse a concept such as when Voldemort cursed the Defense Against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts. Dark witches and wizards aren't usually focused on vengeance against a sports team, but there's no reason they couldn't be…

"So what are you doing?" Samantha asked.

Hannah gave her annoyed look. "I'm braiding hair."

She's mostly pulling it and ratting it up really.

Samantha sat beside us. "Ah. Do you want me to braid your hair?"

Hannah shrugged. "I already styled my hair."

"Oh," Samantha said awkwardly.

Jeez, Hannah. Let your mom hang out with you. You haven't seen her all year. You never know when she might not be there anymore…

"Actually, would you be willing to show all of us the proper way to hold a wand in a duel? I tried to go over it at Spell Club, but I think I don't have it quite right. Hannah's technique was really good," I asked.

Hannah sat up a little straighter at the praise.

Samantha glanced over at her neighbor. I could see the curtains were still barely opened.

"We're not exactly in a Muggle free place right now," Samantha said.

"I know we can't use the real thing but we could break off sticks from the bush over there? I know your neighbor is watching us, but what is she going to do? Call the police because a bunch of twelve year olds and a mom are waving sticks in their own backyard?" I reasoned.

"Ha! That's true." Samantha stood up and grinned. "Might as well give the old bird something to gawk at. After having a spot of tea, of course."

Nooo! I thought I had distracted her from the tea!

We took a break and Samantha served the tea to each of us. I managed to choke down the dirty weed water with a straight face. No matter how much or how little sugar I put in it, or what type of tea it is, or whether it is hot or cold… I always hate it.

Afterwards, we gathered up a few wand-sized sticks and stood around in the garden in our best dueling stances. Samantha took turns correcting our wand hand and posture.

I wonder if the neighbor thinks she's showing us the proper way to knife someone.

When Samantha came to me, her eyes narrowed. I looked up apprehensively.

"That's not a bad dueling stance, but unless you're planning on joining the International Dueling League… even though it's banned in England, America is still part of it… I wouldn't bother," She said and adjusted my arm to put it closer to my body. "Dueling assumes you're fighting another wizard with only spells, but in a real fight in the real world you're not going to be standing in front of one another exchanging spells. You're going to be dodging and weaving. Your opponent is going to be using the terrain against you or even to attack you. You might not be fighting a wizard at all."

So this is why Voldemort thought he had to kill her… She was a woman who knew what she was doing and wasn't afraid of being pushed around. She would not have stood for the travesties the Ministry inflicted upon innocent people in Harry's seventh year.

In my seventh year…

Samantha adjusted my elbow. I concentrated and tried to memorize my stance.

"Keep your arm closer to your body. You want to remain mobile. Never assume you're not going to get attacked physically. Witches and wizards really underestimate physical attacks. I can't count the amount of times I've had to chuck a rock at someone's head. Never underestimate the effectiveness of rocks," Samantha mused.

I took her words and tried to engrave them into my soul. Hit people with rocks? I could hit people with rocks.

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

Samantha moved on to Hannah. She made one small correction on the angle of her wrist, but for the most part Hannah seemed to have it down already.

"Spell Club sounds like a lot of fun. I'm really proud of you for taking the initiative and learning new spells outside of class," Samantha said to Hannah.

Hannah blushed. "It was Kasey's idea to begin with. It's been fun though. The fire starting spell you taught me did come in handy during spell club."

Hannah gave the rest of us a 'look'. I didn't have to attempt Legilimency to see she was thinking 'do NOT say anything about the spiders'.

"That's wonderful," Samantha exclaimed and smiled brightly.

Aww, that's cute.

I'm glad I got them to connect a bit on our vacation. You can't take your loved ones for granted. One day, you'll turn around and want to talk to them, or tell them about your day, or get a hug… and they won't be there. Or maybe you won't be there. You never know.

I looked over at Hannah and her mom and felt a pang deep inside myself that I quickly squashed back down. It was useless to dwell or to wonder what I'd left behind. Even if part of me had been pretending like I was just off at school and would be going home like the rest of my friends at the end of the term.

Lots of adults leave home and move far away. My situation wasn't that different really.

More dirty weed water was trotted out. After we'd drank the tea, Samantha showed us the proper way to kick someone in the face by balancing precariously on her good leg and jumping a reasonable distance. Then we were suddenly getting into random physical auror drills and wrestling moves for some reason. I got to impress Samantha by the fact that I already knew how to do a proper blood choke. Hannah ended up breaking a nail. It was an amazing afternoon.

I hope their neighbor was thoroughly entertained.

The last night at Hannah's home we had a slumber party.

Which was kind of weird, since we'd been sleeping in the same room for months at school anyways. We'd essentially been having slumber parties. However, once I'd made the half-joking suggestion, Eloise was buzzing with excitement. Slumber parties were something she'd seen in American movies and read about in tween books (I suspected she'd partaken in the eldritch abomination that was "The Baby-Sitters Club") and I was supposed to be the expert.

"What do we need for this American Muggle ritual?" Susan asked skeptically.

"We need popcorn, junk food, makeup and hair brushes, board games, and sleeping bags? Oh, and scary movies?"

"We've got a tele, but it isn't connected to anything," Hannah said.

"We can get by without the movies. Then we all eat the junk food, give each other makeovers, play board games, and uh sleep on the floor," I explained.

"Sleep on the floor? We have beds!" Susan exclaimed.

"Sleeping on the floor is the most important part!" Eloise insisted.

I thought I was supposed to be the expert?

"If you say so…" Susan said, clearly not convinced.

"We also gossip about boys," Eloise added.

That seemed to win Hannah over.

"I'll see what snacks I can gather up!" Hannah responded enthusiastically.

Fifteen minutes later, Hannah had scrounged up some popcorn, several bottles of butterbeer, a plate of chocolate chip cookies, and a bag of Muggle potato chips that made me nearly burst into tears of joy when I saw them.

They had orange powdered cheese on them. Beautiful. Orange. Powdered. Cheese.

We arranged our sleeping bags on the floor in Hannah's wizarding living room. The wizarding living room wasn't that different from a Muggle one except it had a large radio instead of a tele and a couch that transformed depending on what you asked of it.

Yelling things at the couch was super fun.

"Sectional!" I called out and with a small 'poof' of magical smoke, a different couch stood in its place. "Camelback!" Poof. "Wingback!" Poof. "Chesterfield!" Poof. "Bridgewater!" Poof. "Chaise!" Poof. "Settee!"

"You know a lot about couches," Susan commented idly.

Once upon a time, I had spent a lot of time in Ikea.

"Fort!" I called out on a whim and was delighted to see the couch transform itself into an intricate pillow fort. I looked at the other girls seriously. "Pillow fort is an essential slumber party item. We must never change this."

And so we didn't. We dragged our snacks underneath the couch fort and moved on to doing makeovers. Eloise volunteered to do my makeup first. The results were… less than stellar.

I held a hand mirror up to my face and squinted at the makeover Eloise had given me.

She'd went pretty heavy on the blue eyeshadow and blush. I looked like a deranged clown.

Eloise looked up at me hopefully. "Do you like it?"

"Eh, I think you went a little heavy on the makeup," I answered honestly. Eloise frowned. "No don't go all gloomy on me. It just takes practice." I took the makeup case from her hands. "Let me do yours and I'll show you what I mean."

I applied a reasonable amount of makeup to Eloise's face using my twenty odd years of experience. I was no fancy Youtube tutorial, but I was competent enough. I wish I had a few more foundation products in Eloise's skin tone, though. The palette had some, but most of Hannah's makeup was for pretty fair skin. I wonder if you can create makeup with nozular paint that we used in Potion's class a few weeks ago?

I did the best with what I had, then handed Eloise back the mirror.

"Oh, it looks so good!" Eloise exclaimed in surprise.

Hannah scooted closer to us on the floor and peered at Eloise's face. "It actually does."

"Huh," Susan said also peering at Eloise's face.

Don't look so surprised guys.

"Of course it does. I'm good at everything I do on the first try," I stated with false bravado.

I dodged the throw pillow Susan threw at me.

"It's practice obviously!" I explained. Nearly twenty more years of it. "You want makeup to look like you're not wearing much makeup even if it took forever to apply. Then you can be all falsely modest when people ask you about it." I held my hand over my mouth and attempted to do an impression of a delicate Victorian socialite. "Oh this? I just put it together in a few minutes. I'm just such a laidback girl! Oh ho ho ho!"

Susan raised an eyebrow. "You laugh like a villain."

"Do mine next!" Hannah begged excitedly.

I spent the next half hour giving my friends reasonable makeovers. Then I felt rather plain in their company, so I redid my own makeup as well. In doing so, I added about three years to their looks. The results kind of bummed me out. Don't grow up so fast girls…

"Board games next?" Eloise asked cheerfully.

"I've got Magical Dream Date?" Hannah suggested.

Susan groaned. "Not that dumb thing again."

"Kasey and Eloise haven't played it. It'll be fun," Hannah responded stubbornly and went up to get the game.

The "Magical Dream Date" game was vaguely familiar in that I'd played many terrible games like it as a young girl. Tiny miniature "boyfriend" figures stood behind screens on a tiny little stage and then asked each of us questions. It even had a tiny little spotlight and announcer voice. The boyfriends shuffled around the screens depending upon our answers. Once all the questions were done, the screens came up and dramatically revealed who was your destined "magical date".

The color and aesthetics of the game reminded me of the 1970s. The box of the game looked a little worn as well. Was this a hand me down?

Hannah answered some of the questions suspiciously quickly. I think she was trying to rig the game.

I looked askance over at her. "Hannah, do you have the questions memorized?"

"I'm speaking directly from my heart," Hannah replied loftily.

That wasn't a no…

After an exhaustive and sometimes baffling array of questions (why would my favorite color even matter?), we were ready for the "boyfriend reveal" final part of the game.

The figures shuffled behind the screens that corresponded to our chosen color, and the dramatic music kicked up a notch.

"And your magical dream date is….!" The announcer called out and the little curtains were pulled up.

A tiny man figurine in suspenders, a bow tie, starched white shirt, and pocket protector walked out of the screen in front of me. He pushed his thick glasses up his nose and waved enthusiastically at me.

"Ha! You got the nerd!" Hannah laughed. Susan snickered a little bit and I could see Eloise out of the corner of my eye trying to maintain a straight face.

He didn't look that bad really. He just dressed badly. I bet he's very successful at life. I shoved a handful of delicious orangey chips into my mouth idly.

"He's looks like he has a very stable job. I bet he's got an excellent 401(k)," I said around a mouthful of cheesy potato chips.

"I have an outstanding stock portfolio!" the tiny nerd figurine proclaimed proudly.

The other girls looked confused.

Who made this weird game?

"Never mind. I bet he's a sweet person. That's all that matters in the end," I declared, feeling a desire to defend all nerds everywhere.

"I bet you are great at cleaning the house and making me sandwiches!" the nerd figurine exclaimed.

I picked up the little man and unceremoniously stuffed him back into the box.

Hannah turned toward Susan. "I'll trade you my Quidditch player for your guitarist?"

"Done!" Susan declared eagerly.

A tiny figurine in a leather jacket, jeans, and goatee carrying a tiny guitar shuffled over to Hannah.

"She never understood my music anyways," the tiny guitarist muttered angrily.

The Quidditch player wearing full Quidditch gear of red and gold bounded over to Susan heartily. He was carrying a tiny trophy.

I glanced over at Eloise's figurine. Her magical dream date looked very normal. He had a polo shirt on and was carrying a bouquet of flowers. He gave me boy next door vibes.

"Mine doesn't seem that bad," Eloise said and smiled at the tiny little figurine in front of her.

"Here's some roses! Let's go on a picnic! I like to wear khaki shorts on the weekend!" the boy next door figurine said blandly.

Ouch. So basic.

"The Quidditch player is the best," Susan declared.

The Quidditch player did a few sit-ups and then winked at her.

"He'd have the least amount of time to spend with you," I argued. Professional athletes spent a lot of time on the road.

Susan stuck her tongue out at me and declared, "Not unless I'm also on the team."

Touché Susan. Touché.

"I may have the World Cup, but the biggest treasure I have won… is your heart!" the Quidditch figurine declared loudly. He had a sexy Spanish accent for some reason.

Susan laughed and started dismantling the stage. "Sure sure. Now get back into your box until we decide to play with you again."

Susan scooped up the figurines and haphazardly dumped them into the cardboard box. Hannah threw in the stage with the same amount of care and then shut the lid drowning out the tiny figure's declarations of love. After she had set it back on the shelf, I could still hear some faint muffled squeaky voices.

This is super disturbing. Like… deep down in my soul disturbing.

Huh.

"Gossip time!" Hannah squealed drowning out the squeaky voices.

"What are we going to gossip about?" Eloise asked and got situated in her sleeping bag next to the pillow fort.

I'm tempted to suggest 'the nature of sentience' and 'what constitutes existence' but there was half a bag of delicious chips left and I didn't want to get distracted.

I reached in and grabbed another handful of chips and stuffed them in my mouth.

The girls of course, decided that the topic would be boys.

"I'm so over Harry. He's a bit too gloomy most of the time," Hannah declared.

"Not into that tragic orphan thing he's got going on, huh?" I asked managing to keep a straight face.

Susan, bless her, grabbed the proverbial baton I was holding and ran with it. "Poor guy, abandoned when he needed you the most. Forced to go through life all alone."

"Poor Harry. How will he survive you fake breaking up with him? Your imaginary relationship meant so much to him," I added.

"He might have to fake cry," Eloise said and then held her hand over mouth like she'd not meant to say it out loud.

Hannah was turning red, but I could tell she wasn't actually mad.

"Perhaps our relationship is a bit one-sided," Hannah conceded.

Or consisted mostly of you just staring at him sometimes like a creepo.

"Is there anyone you fancy, Eloise?" Hannah asked turning to the curly haired girl.

"Eh?" Eloise looked startled at having been singled out. "I don't know… um… If I had to pick… Neville?"

Aww, cute. I could see that. They could get married and then invite me to their adorable dinner parties.

But they're all much too young for boyfriends.

"Neville? Really?" Hannah asked skeptically.

Eloise shrugged. "He's nice."

"My crush didn't answer my letter," Susan confessed.

"Are you finally going to admit who it was?" Hannah asked.

"Don't tell anyone, but it was Connor Malloy," Susan admitted.

"That Irish bloke on the Quidditch team?" Hannah asked.

Susan nodded.

"He does have nice eyes," Hannah acknowledged.

"He's two years older than me, though. He must think I'm too young for him," Susan conceded.

You're too young for a boyfriend period…

"His loss. How can you even see Connor with Cedric Diggory on the same team?" Hannah asked and sighed dreamily.

"If I could pick anyone, I'd pick Cedric Diggory," Susan declared and sighed. "He's out of my league, but he's got such nice hair. I almost hit the goalpost last practice because the sun was hitting his hair just so."

Nice to know my one of my friend's life hinges on a teen boy's hair.

"What about you Kasey?" Hannah turned towards me and I could see the glint of revenge in her eyes. "What boy do you fancy? We know multiple boys already fancy you."

"It wasn't multiple boys. One of the cards was a joke. And I don't really fancy anyone," I insisted.

"But if you have to pick someone, who would it be?" Susan asked.

"Uh…" I said stalling. If I had to choose someone to be a creepster about, who would it be? Ugh, I hate this conversation. "How about…" My mind grasped an idea. "Hannah's dad."

Susan cackled. "Me too!"

"What?! Eww!" Hannah shouted.

Eloise fell over in a fit of giggles.

"He could be a Muggle actor," Eloise added.

Susan was doubled over laughing and holding her sides.

"It's not funny! All of you are gross!" Hannah looked like she'd taken a drink of spoiled milk.

I started to laugh too.

Hannah threw a pillow at my head.

I threw one back at her.

And the great pillow fight had begun. Topic sneakily averted. I am the Slytherin of Hufflepuffs!

After the pillow fight ran down, we spent some time painting each other's nails. Then we ate some more snacks, listened to the wireless, and eventually turned the lights off to settle down for the night. But like any good slumber party, we kept talking in the dark. The topic came back to accidental underage magic we'd performed when we were kids.

"I turned our cat into a lion when I was five. I think we'd just went to the zoo a few days before? My poor mum had to hide with me in the bedroom until father came home," Susan said.

"That's kind of terrifying actually," I muttered and tried to get a potato chip out of the bag in the dark.

I saw Susan shrug in the dim light. "I don't think he realized he'd been transformed. Dad found him sitting in front of his food bowl meowing that it was empty." Susan turned towards me. "What about you?"

"I never did much that I remember. I uh, exploded something once. I'd half convinced myself there was another explanation for it until I got my Hogwarts letter," I said carefully.

Good, none of that was technically a lie.

"What did you explode?" Eloise asked.

Fine. I guess I do have to lie.

"A large hill of gravel. There was a place that sold gravel near our home back in the states. I wasn't supposed to play in it, but I snuck over there when they weren't open because it was fun to slide down it and I kind of… fell into it. I couldn't breathe and panicked and then the gravel just exploded freeing me," I said and shuddered. It was still mostly the truth.

I still have nightmares about slipping into that gold pile…

"Did the Muggles find out?" Hannah asked.

"I don't know, I didn't stick around to find out," I said.

At least, it was a half truth.

"Your story is so much more serious," Susan commented.

"And setting a lion loose in your house wasn't? Your poor mother," I countered.

"And she decided to have three more after me. I love my mum, but she's gone a bit nutters I think," Susan joked.

Hannah sat up. "Three?!"

Susan sighed. "Yes, three. I got a letter from home right before we left. My mum is having twins. There will be three screaming babies in my house this summer."

"Oh! You can dress them up in matching outfits!" Hannah squealed.

Susan groaned in despair. "I will never forgive all of you if you don't invite me over at some point so I can escape."

"Do you really hate babies that much, Susan? I love babies. They're so cute!" Hannah gushed.

Susan rolled over to her side and rested her chin on her hand. "I don't hate my little brother. I just wish he smelled better. I'm sure once he starts talking he'll be a lot less annoying. And you just love babies because you've never been around them."

"I'd make a great mom or baby sitter," Hannah declared with confidence.

Susan raised one eyebrow. "Then come over this summer and watch my siblings with me. I dare you."

"I will!" Hannah exclaimed.

Oh ho. A dark covenant has been struck.

Hannah laid back down and stared at the ceiling. "When I grow up I'm going to have a girl and a boy and I'm going to name them Morgana and Merlin."

I snorted. "That's some baggage you're going to throw on those kids."

Hannah looked over at me. "What are you going to name your future kids?"

"Not going to have any," I answered honestly.

Hannah looked surprised. "What? Why not?"

I shrugged. "I don't want any. Maybe if people lived a few extra centuries I'd give it ago… But life is just too short to dedicate that much of it to another person. There's too much I want to see and do that I can't if I have to take care of a kid."

"You're so weird," Hannah declared.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

"I'd like to have a couple of kids and a farm when I grow up," Eloise said and then sighed sadly. "I have to manage to get a boyfriend first."

I frowned. This was getting ridiculous.

"All of you are too young for boyfriends," I blurted out.

"Now you sound like my mom!" Hannah said.

"Your mom is awesome. I wish my mom was a badass auror," I admitted and crossed my arms stubbornly.

The conversation died and we fell silent for several minutes. I started to think the girls had fallen asleep and started to drift off myself when I heard Hannah stir.

"It's not awesome…" Hannah whispered quietly.

"What is?" I whispered back sleepily.

"Her job… it's not awesome. It's scary and I hate it," Hannah said back so softly that I could barely hear her.

"Oh…" I whispered back, not sure how to respond.

"She was seconds away from dying. I wish she did something else. Susan, don't you hate your father's job too?"

Susan lay still silently for so long I thought she was actually asleep and wasn't going to respond, but eventually she rolled over and sighed.

"I don't… I don't like that my dad is an auror. But…" Susan trailed off like she was thinking over her response carefully. "It's just… someone has to stop the bad guys. Evil people come for you even if you mind your own business. That's what happened to my uncle and his kids. They weren't even aurors, just regular people. You-Know-Who came one night and killed them, even the baby in its crib. Just to make a point, not because they'd done anything.

Dad and auntie were there, but auntie grabbed Dad and got away. They were just kids too ya know? They were still in Hogwarts like us. Mum got mad that he told me what happened, but Dad said it was important to know the truth. It's… scary… but… someone has to protect people. And my father is good at it… It's what my family does. Dad always says… If you wait for someone else to stand up and do something, then no one will."

Silence fell and it felt heavy and oppressive.

Eventually Hannah replied in a small wavering voice, "But I just wish it would be someone other than my mum…"

I thought about reading the Order of the Phoenix scene where Hannah finds out her mom had been murdered. It had been sad, but it had been such a minor thing; barely a footnote in the book. I was lucky I'd even remembered reading it at all. It had probably been the worst day of that character's life, but it had only been a footnote to me…

And now she wasn't a character. She was a person. She was my friend. And she was worrying about her mom going to work and never coming home again.

"I'm sorry…" I said, not sure if I was apologizing for what I said or the future that was coming.

Maybe both.

"It's okay…" Hannah muttered and rolled over to go back to sleep.

Could I save her mom? It seemed ridiculous to even think I could do anything to someone that could take out that hardass woman. But I couldn't do nothing either. I couldn't sit back and let it happen. Susan's dad was right.

…But what can I do?

It took me awhile to get to sleep, but my friends slept soundly.