A/N: Hey sweet readers! I unfortunately had to discontinue my previous JEMILY fanfic because I had thought of another idea to work with. It may be confusing at first so a quick explanation: Emily is held captive and she reflects on things that have happened during her time at the BAU. Good and Bad. The story will deal with captivity, abuse, violence and various mental health struggles. Once these occur trigger warnings will be added to the A/N at the beginning of the chapter. Please leave a review, those keep me going
"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage."
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca
2006
Her eyes followed a brown leave slowly falling from the tree until it landed on the ground in front of her feet, the crunching sound it made when she placed her black boot on it shook her from her thoughts. The tall building complex looked incredibly intimidating, she had seen far worse in the time she had worked in law enforcement but starting a new job always rattled her differently.
She had settled on a black shirt, a pencil skirt and some black boots but she regretted the decision once she stepped into the elevator of the FBI Quantico office. She was sweating from the nerves, which in turn caused her legs to chafe against each other. Emily adjusted the box in her arms one last time before walking out of the elevator. She walked through a messy bull pen, she noticed a young man seated at his desk hunched over and old dusty book before she knocked on the office door that had: Agent Hotchner written on it.
''Agent Hotchner? Hi'' Emily smiled as she carefully placed the box with her belongings on his desk before extending her now sore arm. '' Yes hello. How do you do?'' Agent Hotchner inquired as he shook her hand, '' I'm Agent Emily Prentiss. I'm supposed to be starting here today'' Emily sweetly said. ''I haven't heard anything about a transfer. I personally see over any transfers and I have not accepted any in ages'' Agent Hotchner started, '' I am very sorry that you had to come out here, but you have been misinformed''.
Emily looked slightly taken a back. ''I have my transfer papers right here'' Emily exclaimed as she handed the agent the pile of papers from the top of her box. She watched as Agent Hotchner read over the pages before he handed them back to her ''I'm sorry. As I have said before you have been misinformed. I am sure you're an excellent agent, but profiling is a specialty'' Agent Hotchner said, a dismissive tone laced his voice.
''I know Agent Hotchner. I also know you have a toddler at home. I'd say he's about two years old and just learning to draw?'' Emily smiled sweetly, '' You're also married. You love your wife, but you are struggling in your marriage'' she continued. ''You are a very passionate and protective man and that sometimes comes in the way of your marriage'' Emily raised her eyebrow '' am I close?''. Agent Hotchner did his best to hide how impressed he was with the agent in front of him ''elaborate?'' he eventually managed to ask.
''You have colored pen marks on the side of your hand, they look as though they have been done erratically and most children draw without any purpose, especially very young children. You subconsciously touched your ring a few times during our short talk and the picture behind you is only of her and not the two of you meaning you probably aren't home enough to take a picture with he-'' Emily rattled, '' enough'' Agent Hotchner said as he silenced the brunette in front of him. ''How close was I?'' Emily asked, '' Go see HR about getting a desk assigned. I'll ask our media liaison to show you around'' Agent Hotchner said. Emily curtly nodded her head before lifting the heavy box from the table and making her way out of his office.
She returned to the bull pen after speaking with HR an hour later, the heavy box was wearing her arms down but she had been assigned a desk, so she gratefully dropped the box on the plain desk. Emily hadn't brought many personal belongings except for a picture of her girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend as of last night. No need to put that picture up Emily had thought to herself as she grabbed some books from the box.
She heard a soft cough behind her once she put a Russian novel she had gotten from a former colleague next to a book about criminal profiling. ''That is an excellent novel. Did you know the Russian writer that wrote that book had not intended to ever publish it so his family did when he died because they were struggling financially? But one of the author's children was against this so he sued the rest of the family and the verdict ended up being that all the books should've been burned. But some copies were saved'' the young man rambled, it was the same one she had seen sitting behind his desk reading a book. '' I know that'' Emily smiled eventually, she extended her hand in his direction but retreated it when she noticed the young man step back when she did. '' I'm Emily Prentiss. New transfer'' she smiled, '' I'm Doctor Spencer Reid'' the young man said.
'' Doctor? How old are you?'' Emily wondered, a question the young man probably had heard multiple times in his life. '' I'm 24. I have an eidetic memory'' he replied, '' Mmh. A genius huh? Cool'' Emily smiled before turning back to her desk. However, she could hardly continue unpacking when she heard another soft voice behind her. '' You must be Emily Prentiss'' the blonde woman asked as Emily whipped her head around. Emily felt her heart beat a few beats faster when she shook hands with the woman whom introduced herself as Jennifer Jareau or JJ. ''I'm the media liaison here. I handle the press, contact the family's and I pick the cases'' JJ explained herself as Emily leaned against her new desk, still mesmerized by the blonde in front of here. '' We're a very tight knit team but everyone is lovely'' JJ continued as she fiddled with the key cord around her neck, '' and we're happy with a new addition. And I'm even happier that the new addition is a woman'' JJ chuckled, '' There are too many men here''. Emily laughed, it was a hollow laugh filled with nerves and intrigue.
''There are too many men everywhere'' Emily eventually pointed out, '' we'll just have to hold up the fort together'' JJ smiled as she nudged Emily with her elbow. A simple gesture that sent goosebumps up her entire body. What's going on with you Emily thought to herself as her body shivered slightly at the continued contact with the blonde media liaison. 'Oh well not together'' JJ suddenly smiled, '' Can't forget our technical analyst Penelope Garcia''. Just as JJ uttered that sentence a brightly dressed woman with white blonde hair entered the bull-pen. The lollipop earrings in her ear dangled as she made their way over towards the two of them.
''Who are you?'' Penelope asked as she eyes Emily up and down, her black glasses with sparkles pushed up the bridge of her nose as she did so. '' I'm a new transfer. Emily Prentiss'' Emily smiled as she extended her hand, something she had done so very often already today ''New? Oh.. Well Hi. I'm Penelope Garcia''. Once they had shook each other's hands Penelope turned to JJ '' I didn't know Hotch and Gideon had already hired a replacement for Elle'' she whispered. ''Elle?'' Emily inquired, '' Elle was one of the supervisory special agents. She left on bad terms a few months ago'' JJ explained.
Emily could still feel Penelope's eyes on her as the blonde made her way over towards the desk of a male agent that had just entered the bull-pen. ''She doesn't like me very much'' Emily dryly chuckled, '' Oh no. It isn't personal'' JJ exclaimed, '' Penelope had a good bond with Elle and she struggles with change quite a bit''. ''I'll try extra hard to show her my best side'' Emily smiled.
Now
It felt as though her fingers were freezing off once she woke up, the side of her body was the only part that burned a little. It was where JJ had bumped her side all those years ago. That memory had gotten her through the last few hours as her body ached all over and her mind buzzed.
JJ she thought as she wrapped her arms around herself to keep her body warm, JJ. JJ had been her best friend since her first day. Aside from Gideon, JJ was the only one that welcomed her from the start. It had taken Hotch, Morgan, Garcia and Reid a while longer. Emily could still vividly remember Reid yelling at her after he was abducted by Tobias Hankel, she remembered how angry he had looked. But she knew, she understood. Emily understood he was afraid and needed some release. The dilaudid in his system had not helped his temper, in hindsight they had all been wrong for not trying to help him when it was clear that he needed the help. They were all too worried about Reid keeping his job.
But as Emily lay in that cold cellar, her white blouse ripped, and her black slacks covered with dirt, she realized Reid did not care for his job at that point, he only cared to survive. That was exactly what she was feeling right now, the urge to survive. If only the team would reach her in time.