After both Annie and Marisa were enrolled in school full time and Show Your Brave had finally reached its largest potential yet, becoming a staple in twenty-seven schools across New York City, Brittany and I decided it was time for me to get an office outside of the house. As much as I enjoyed the freedom of working at home while they were little, by the time Annie was in fifth grade and Marisa was in first, we'd both realized the necessity of me having my own space. The adjustment was hard at first, but I was only a phone call away, and that made it easier for me.

Brittany had made so many changes at the studio, even leasing a bigger space for increased enrollment, so things were good on her end. The girls were thriving, our marriage was thriving, and I was in a place where I'd fully recognized my own worth. Though I'd only been working in my new office for five months, I'd made it my own and was glad every time one of my sixty mentors stopped by to see me and fill me in on the progress they were making in their respective schools. Holly and Jarrod were still with me, I was still working myself at four schools and I saw that we were going to continue to expand and make a difference.

Like I did every day at 2:45, I left my office and made my way down the block to PS 41. I knew that in another year and a half, when the girls were in different schools, I would have to figure out a new pickup routine, but for the time being, I loved going to Marisa's classroom to get her and then meeting Annie in the lobby. Though it had only been four years since I'd picked Annie up in her first-grade classroom, it felt like our lives had changed immensely up until I did the same for Marisa and every day, I thanked the powers that be that all of our changes were good changes.

"Mami!" Marisa cried out from her seat when I appeared at the door, shoving her book in her backpack and running to greet me. "You're never going to believe what happened in the Boxcar Children just now!"

All the way downstairs, Marisa chattered about her book. Anxious to keep up with Annie, she was reading before she started kindergarten and before the start of first grade, she was devouring chapter books at a pace Brittany and I could hardly keep up with. Like she had been as a baby, she was smart as a whip, and though she was much more social than our Annie, more often than not, we found her with her head buried in a book.

"Hi Mami!" Annie grinned happily when she saw us, though she scrunched her body to keep it from coming in contact with the other students that crowded the lobby. "Hi Baby Reese."

"Nee Nee!" Marisa scowled, still using the nickname she'd given Annie as a baby. "You can't call me Baby Reese at school, I'm a big girl now."

"Well you're still my baby sister." Annie hugged me, then Marisa and Reese wasted no time slipping her hand into Annie's for our walk home.

Both girls knew that once we walked in the door, it was time for a snack and then homework so they situated themselves at the table with their things while I sliced apples and took the jar of peanut butter out of the cabinet. Annie was only a few years away from being a preteen, so I savored every moment with them at the table, not looking forward to the days where my little ball of sunshine was sulky and withdrawn. Of course, I wasn't sure it would happen with Annie, Brittany had always been so involved with her family, but still, I wasn't taking any chances.

"Mama is coming home early tonight girls, it looks like we're in for some snow."

"But Mami." Marisa whined. "If it snows then I can't go to the library."

"I don't think we have to. I stopped at the library on my way to work this morning and picked up the next three Boxcar Children books for you, so you'll have plenty to read in the snow."

"And that means we get to stay home from school." Annie sighed dreamily.

Though she did well in school, Annie didn't like to go. She much preferred to be in the safety of her own home where she didn't have to worry about being called on without raising her hand, being teased—though Brittany and I were always on it with the teachers—and having to navigate through hoards of kids who made her nervous. Marisa, on the other hand, loved it. She was constantly raising her hand, insistent upon getting every single answer right. And Brittany and I, well, we were craving a snow day, one day where we could just forget about work, light a fire and cuddle in our pajamas all day.

After I helped Annie with the math homework I dreaded and listened to Marisa complain that her homework was for babies, the girls went upstairs to their rooms for a little while and I started dinner. Since it was so cold outside, I started making beef stew and just as I had gotten everything in the pot, Brittany came in the house, snow on her coat and eyelashes.

"Smells good in here." She came into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me. "Looks good in here too."

"You're always trying to charm the pants off of me." I teased.

"Doesn't take much."

"Hmm, we'll see tonight."

"Oh, you can count on it. How was homework?"

"Marisa is still complaining that it's too easy. We need to revisit her teacher talking about her skipping second grade. She's so far ahead, Britt."

"I know." Brittany pursed her lips. "I just worry about the social aspect of it."

"If it were Annie, I'd say absolutely not, but it's different with Reese. She loves school and I don't want her to get bored with it because it's not challenging her."

"I'd rather leave it up to her, if you're okay with that."

"Babe, I'd never not give her a say."

"I know that." She kissed me softly. "Sorry, it's just been a long day."

"Anything I can do?"

"No, being home is enough."

"Good, go say hi to the girls, take a shower, relax. When you come back down, I'll make you a cup of tea."

"I love you, you know."

"I do, and I love you too."

When Brittany went upstairs, I continued working on dinner and had a cup of tea ready for her after she came down from her shower. The girls joined us at the table, telling us about their days and drinking seltzer as we had our tea. I loved when Brittany came home early, when we had more time alone as a family and I knew that the three of them loved it too.

After dinner, I helped Marisa with her bath and Annie took a shower, getting ready for bed. Because Marisa was so interested in reading her own books, we never did books at bedtime any more, but Brittany and I tucked her in and told her she had a half hour before lights were out and she had to put her book down. The snow was coming down pretty heavily outside and I figured there would be no school in the morning, but we still wanted her to go to sleep at her normal bedtime. Annie got to stay up later because she was older, so she came in our room and we were ready to talk to her, like we always did at night.

"Mami, I have a question." Annie looked down at the bed and Brittany and I shared a look of concern.

"Go ahead, corazoncita." I encouraged, taking Brittany's hand.

"How did you get hurt?"

The question hit me hard in my chest as she looked at my scars. I always knew that the day would come where she asked and I was reminded of the time when she was four years old and we talked about my scars. Back then, it was easy enough to just tell her that sometimes people have scars, like her scar from when she'd been pushed in preschool, but at ten-years-old, that answer just wouldn't cut it anymore. She wanted real answers and despite a decade of preparing, it was still hard to make the words come out.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me." She whispered, looking away from me.

"Sweetheart, it's a lot for Mami." Brittany said softly, understanding how deeply this would impact me.

"It's okay, Britt. And Annie, we've told you so many times, you never have to be afraid to ask us anything."

"I know, but you never talk about it and I think it was really bad."

"It was." I nodded. "But I'm okay now."

"I'm glad you're okay, Mami." Annie hugged me and I pulled her into my arms. She was still so slight for her age and her presence was still a comfort to me, even as she grew.

"Remember how we've talked about my foundation and how some kids have trouble being queer?"

"Yeah, like when Vin got kicked out of his house."

"Exactly. Even today, when queer people have a lot more rights than they used to, there are still people out there who don't believe we should be allowed to exist. And there are people who are willing to hurt other people for who they are and who they love."

"Someone hurt you because you love Mama?" Her eyes widened and Brittany put her hand on Annie's back.

"Someone hurt me because I am a lesbian." I took a deep breath. "He didn't believe that I had a right to exist and when I was leaving work one night, he found me on the street, dragged me into an alleyway and cut my throat. That's how I got the scars. He left me there to die and because Aunt Rachel was worried, she sent Uncle Finn to find me and he saved my life."

"But…" Annie's lip trembled. "How did he know where to find you?"

"He went to my job and he kept calling my phone. He heard my phone ringing in my pocket and…I was there." I choked back a sob and I could see regret for asking written all over Annie's face. "It's okay for me to talk about, Annie, you don't have to be sorry."

"But…what if you had died?"

"She didn't." Brittany said softly. "That's the important thing."

"But what if he comes back and finds you?"

"He's in jail now." I promised. "He has been since you were a baby.

"Was I alive when he hurt you?"

"You weren't. It was years before you were born, it just took me finding Mama again and you being born for me to be brave enough to try to bring him to justice."

"I just…I don't understand."

"We don't either, Bean." Brittany soothed, her voice a balm, I thought, to both Annie and myself. "But it was a long time ago, and Mami is doing well now."

"Does it still hurt?"

"It doesn't hurt on the outside any longer, but sometimes it still hurts on the inside."

"What can I do to help make it better?"

"Mija, you do so much to help make it better, you and your sister and your mom. I don't want you to ever feel like there's anything more you can do, and I don't want you to feel scared that something like this will ever happen again."

"But Mami, you're always in the magazines and the newspaper, everyone knows that you're a lesbian, and they know about Mama too because she's famous for her studio."

"We're proud of who we are, my love." Brittany told her. "We're never going to hide that because of people who have hate in their hearts."

"Mama's right, mi amor. That's what I've spent most of my adult life working toward, people being allowed to be who they are without judgment. You know that we always tell you in your sister to never let anyone make you feel less than the best."

"I know, but…" Tears fell from Annie's eyes and Brittany wrapped her arms around both of us.

"It's okay to feel afraid, but we're always going to protect you." I promised. "Things have changed a lot since I was hurt, things have gotten much better."

"I won't tell Baby Reese." Annie said solemnly. "I don't want her to be scared."

"Just like we're telling you when you're ready, we'll tell Marisa when she is."

"Okay, Mami." She sighed heavily. "I think I'm going to go in my room with Milky Way and think."

"Okay, mija." I smiled, thinking how special it was that she still turned to her stuffed unicorn for comfort. "We're here if you have any more questions."

"I love you Mami, and I love you too, Mama."

"We both love you very much." Brittany told Annie and I nodded. "Goodnight, my love."

Once we heard that Annie was settled in her room by the hall, I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Annie was such an astute child and in some ways, telling her what had happened to me released a heavy burden. We'd still have Marisa to tell, although hopefully not for several years, but with Annie knowing, especially with the way she sometimes looked strangely at my scars, I felt surprisingly better and I laid my head on Brittany's chest.

"Are you okay, San?"

"I am." I nodded. "She knows."

"It makes me think of how you used to tell her all of your secrets when she was a baby. I think the blow was softer because somehow her mind knew it was coming."

"I still wonder if me doing that was healthy for her."

"We were young, Santana. Everything was so difficult when she was small and I really think that you being open with her at such a young age turned her into the compassionate girl that she is. She's amazing, our oldest."

"Our youngest is pretty amazing too."

"Oh, she is." Brittany laughed. "Speaking of, I can see the light from her bedroom."

"I'll go tell her. I want to just get up for a minute."

I kissed Brittany on the lips and then got up from our bed. When I got to Marisa's room, she was laying on her stomach reading as fast as she could. I gently sat down on the edge of her bed and stroked her hair, giving her a gentle warning that time was up. If she could, she'd stay up all night and read, and I loved to watch her interest flourish in imaginary worlds.

"Can I just finish this chapter, Mami?"

"Amorcita, it's already past when you should have been asleep. It looks like there won't be any school tomorrow though, so you'll have all day."

"Okay, but can I read all day tomorrow?"

"You can read for as long as you want tomorrow, maybe I'll build a fort with you and we can read together inside."

"Yes! That sounds like the best idea." She bounced up and down on the bed, reminding me of how young she still was. I hoped right then that I would be years before she asked about what happened to me, that she could stay innocent forever, since I'd already had to shatter some of Annie's perceptions of the world. "I love you, Mami."

"Goodnight, mija. I'll see you in the morning."

When I went back to the bedroom, Brittany was reading something on her phone but she tossed it to the side once I'd brushed my teeth and washed my face and climbed into bed. Like I loved to do, I rested my head on her chest and just listened to her heartbeat. She stroked my hair and leaned down every once in a while to kiss my temple, making me feel loved in the way she always did.

The next morning, we were right about the snow and school was cancelled. Rachel called me early on and asked if she and Finn could come over with Brice. Finn, having driven his truck all over the place in the Ohio snow so many years ago had no fear of driving in the snow and Annie was excited when we asked her if she wanted Brice to come by. He was still her best friend, even as they grew up going to separate schools, and since she was so shy and for the first year yet, Thoreau wasn't in her class, we tried to make play dates with he and Brice a reality as much as possible.

Because Finn and Rachel were coming over, I figured I ought to text Kurt as well, but because his daughter Kiara was only eighteen months old, he didn't feel like traipsing out in the snow. Single fatherhood suited him though, I loved watching him with Ki and was so glad he'd finally decided to adopt after a few short-term relationships didn't work out and Blaine had finally stopped calling him for good.

I had already built the fort I promised Marisa and was laying in it with her working my way through one of the dozens of LGBT history books that filled up our shelves when the doorbell rang. Marisa groaned, not wanting her reading silence broken by Brice, who she whined had cooties, and even Rachel and Finn who she loved. I kissed her head and slipped out of the tent, not caring that I hadn't changed out of my pajamas, and helped Annie open the door.

"Hi Aunt Rachel! Hi Uncle Finn!" Annie gave them hugs and I noticed that she squeezed Finn just a little longer than normal.

"Annie, you're never gonna believe this!" Brice bounced up and down on his toes. "We saw people walking on the Brooklyn Bridge! In the snow!"

"But it's so cold! Weren't they freezing?"

"I don't even know, but it looked like they were gonna get blown over into the water! Hi Aunt Santana! Hi Aunt Brittany! Where's Reese?"

"I'm reading!" Marisa called out from her fort. "So you can't be too loud!"

"Reading on a day off from school? Why don't you want to play?"

"She likes reading the most, Brice." Annie told him, grabbing his hand and dragging him off into the playroom where she had all of her art supplies set up. "Come on, I took out the pastels because I know you like to draw with them the best!"

"Hey." Finn ran his hands through his hair and helped Rachel out of her coat. "Thanks for having us over."

"Please." I laughed. "You know you're always welcome here. Rachel, you're dark tonight?"

"Everything's shut down." She shrugged, I knew she really needed a night off from the production of The King and I she was starring in.

"It's nice sometimes, isn't it?" Brittany tugged on the string of her pajama bottoms. "I couldn't think of anything I needed more than having a day off today."

"Is it still crazy there, Brittany?" Rachel asked.

"It is, Michelle has all of these expectations for how much more we should be doing, so I'm constantly running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I can't even tell you how many weekends I've had to go in."

"We need a vacation." Finn suggested, though we all knew that was impossible until Rachel was done with her stint.

"Uncle Finn, I'm trying to read." Marisa huffed.

"Come out and say hello, mija, then we'll go in the kitchen."

With a heavy sigh, Marisa came out of her fort still holding her book and she gave the obligatory hugs to Rachel and Finn before retreating back into her space. The four of us adults went into the kitchen and Brittany took out cheese and crackers while I made more coffee. Sitting there, I realized that it had been so long since we were all around our kitchen able that I couldn't remember the last time. Everything really had been undeniably busy and I couldn't help but dream on Finn's vacation idea. The seven of us had taken so many trips together in the past that I found myself wanting to be on the beach in Aruba with my wife, my girls and my best friends. Especially after the events of the previous night, I just wanted a break from the real world and knowing that it was all but impossible at the moment made the desire stronger.

"Santana, you're totally off somewhere in your head." Rachel nudged me.

"It's actually been a long twenty-four hours." I sighed. "Annie finally asked about what happened to me last night?"

"You mean—"

"Yeah." I nodded. "We told her."

"She went to her room right after we finished talking and she hasn't mentioned it yet this morning." Brittany added. "It's hard to tell how well she took it because sometimes she keeps things so close to herself."

"Maybe being around Brice today will help her." Rachel pulled her lip between her teeth.

"Are you okay if he knows?" I asked.

"If she tells him, we're okay with that." Finn nodded. "He's her confidante, we wouldn't want to take that away from her."

"I'm glad we're all in the same boat with this, I don't know how I'd feel if our families weren't so interconnected." Brittany looked between the rest of us at the table. "The fact that he's your son, Finn…"

"I don't want anyone thinking I'm some kind of hero, I wouldn't even have been there if it wasn't for Rachel."

"Finn, I'll always think of you as the one who saved me. But Rachel never gave up on me and Brittany brought me back. That's the kind of friendship I want for our kids."

"Annie and Brice certainly have it. And they always include Marisa when she wants to be part of it." Rachel noted. "It's good."

"It makes me a little sad that Ki is so much younger than all of the kids." Brittany considered. "Annie and Brice are so close in age, then Eden and Marisa and Kiara is so much younger than them. Time for you guys to have another baby?"

"I think it's more likely that you two would have another baby than us." Rachel laughed. "We talked about it a few years ago, but we're good with one. He can be a handful."

"Still?" I asked.

"He keeps getting in trouble in school, we're not really sure what to do about it." Finn looked at Rachel. "He's just a little hyper and we've had him tested and there's nothing clinical about it."

"Some kids are just like that." Brittany told them. "I was. I mean, not that my school career is the best model for a successful one…"

"Baby, you ended up being so amazing and so successful."

"I guess that's kind of my point. I was wild when I was in elementary school, then I was spacey in high school, it worked out and it'll work out for Brice."

"I hope you're right." Rachel sighed. "I thought it got easier when kids got older."

"Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems." I recited my mother's words of wisdom. "But he's still so good with Annie."

"If we could send Annie to school with him, we would." Finn laughed a little, though it was obvious that the whole situation had him concerned. "She's always had the most coming impact on him."

"That's just who she is." I nodded. "She calms me down every day, and she does the same for Marisa when she gets frustrated."

"Have you decided about the skipping a grade thing?" Rachel wondered aloud.

"We're letting her decide." Brittany spoke. "There's more to consider then just how smart she is and we want her to have a say."

Sometimes it was hard for me to extol the virtues of our girls when I knew that Finn and Rachel had such a difficult time with Brice, but we ended up talking about Marisa for a good while. I was always interested to hear other people's input, even though we would make the ultimate decision based on what Marisa wanted and Finn and Rachel were always good sounding boards.

They didn't end up staying as long as I expected, but I understood that Rachel wanted to have dinner with just her family on a rare night off. So we sent them on their way and Annie continued painting—writing stories and illustrating them had become her primary interest—and Marisa worked her way through half of a new book before Brittany and I had a roast chicken ready for dinner.

After dinner was done and cleaned up and we watched a movie, the girls took their turns getting ready for bed and then Brittany and I went to sit in Marisa's room with her for a little while. We figured it was as good of a time as any to talk to her about what we had been debating among ourselves for weeks and though she was mostly interested in finding out what happened next in her book, we made her put it down for a little while.

"Am I in trouble?" She asked, looking between Brittany and I. Sometimes it was hard to believe that she was only six, the wisdom that radiated from her was intense.

"Of course not, Ladybug." Brittany promised. "We just want to talk to you about something important."

"Okay. I'm going to snuggle when we do though."

"I think that's a really good idea." I laughed, watching Brittany open up her arm so she could cuddle into her. "We met with Mrs. Delis a few weeks ago when you had the half a day of school, remember?"

"Course I remember, we went to Max Brenner."

"How could I forget? Well, she said that you're doing very, very well in school."

"I can read the most books in my whole class!"

"That's what Mrs. Delis wanted to talk to us about." Brittany continued where I had started. "She thinks maybe it would be a good idea for you to go to third grade next year instead of second."

"Third grade? But you have to be eight to go to third grade!"

"Most of the time you do, but they can make exceptions if someone is doing enough work to go to third grade early." Brittany told her.

"You don't have to, amorcita, but we wanted to talk to you and see if that might be something you wanted to do."

"Does that mean I don't have to read my books in the hallway because no one is in my reading group?"

"It might mean that, yes." Brittany nodded.

"And I could still see my friends from first grade?"

"You definitely could." I promised. "We'll have lots of play dates."

"And then I could be closer to as big as Nee Nee."

"Well..." I started, but realized the explanation wasn't entirely necessary. "You'd definitely be a grade closer."

"Okay, I want to go to third grade instead of second."

"You're sure, Bug?"

"I'm sure, Mama. They read big books in third grade and I'm ready to read big books."

"That sounds perfect." I smiled. "We'll talk yo Mrs. Delis then and tell her you made your choice."

The thing about Marisa was that as much as she always wanted to be reading, once she started snuggling, it was impossible to get her unsnuggled. She didn't want us to leave, she wanted to stay curled up against Brittany holding my hand and it was always hard for us to argue. Finally though, she started to fall asleep and we each kissed her and then slipped out of her bed, pulling the blankets up to her chin.

Because we hadn't really checked in with how Annie was doing since the night before, I knew that saying goodnight to her would take longer than usual. When we went into her room, she was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, Milky Way next to her and her journal spread out over her thighs. Brittany and I had decided journal writing might be good for her by the time she started writing in full sentences, and a few years later, she wrote every night before bed. I couldn't help but wonder if she had written anything about what we told her, but as we believed in privacy, I figured we'd never know, and that was okay.

"Hi sweetheart." Brittany spoke first and sat down at the edge of Annie's bed. "How are you doing?"

"I'm just thinking a lot, Mama. My head feels all full. I told Brice to be nice to Uncle Finn today, but I didn't tell him why."

"Corazoncita, you can talk to Brice about what we talked to you about if you want. We would just rather you didn't tell Marisa because she's still so little."

"I don't want Marisa to know." Annie shook her head vehemently. "That'll scare her."

"Did it scare you?" I asked, worrying the edge of my shirt between my fingers.

"It did. Mami, all the kids you work with are gay. What if someone hurts them?"

"That's what I'm trying to prevent, mija. I want them to know they have a safe place if someone is threatening them."

"But I don't understand, was that man threatening you?"

"In very subtle ways." I nodded. "I didn't realize he knew I was a lesbian though."

"But everyone knows you're a lesbian."

"A long time ago, everyone didn't. I had to learn to be proud of who I was. Your Mama was always proud."

"I was scared sometimes too." Brittany admitted. "But it's different now. We want to raise you and your sister to always be proud of who you are, no matter what that is."

"I would never do something bad like that man."

"We know you wouldn't." I pulled Annie in for a hug. "You don't have to be afraid of that."

"Do you think he thought when he was a little boy that he would be like that?"

"I...don't know." I admitted. "But you have the very best heart."

"He's going to stay in jail forever, right?"

"That's what it looks like. Aunt Lizzie's boss Kate was the one who put him there and she makes sure he stays there."

"Okay." She sighed. "I hope he does."

"We hope that too." Brittany wrapped her arms around both of us. "But no matter what, Bean, you will be safe."

"Okay, Mama. Can you lay with me for a little bit?"

"Of course we can."

Brittany and I laid with Annie for a good while and then when she was finally asleep, we went into our room and started getting ready for bed. By the time I was done brushing my teeth and washing my face, Brittany was in bed and I curled up in her arms. It was still the safest place in the world to me and even talking about Ryan Davis had me a little anxious. I was still on my medication after so many years, but sometimes I just needed a little extra love to take the edge off.

"Did we do the right thing?" I asked Brittany, tucking my head into her neck.

"We always said we would be honest with them when the time came."

"I know, but Annie is still so young."

"She's growing up quickly." Brittany shook her head. "More difficult things are going to come up as they get older, like you told Rachel earlier, but I think we do a good job."

"You know, Britt, I wouldn't want to do this with anyone but you."

"Well you're stuck with me, babe, so that's a good thing."