January, 1951

In which Steve reminds Peggy of something.

Peggy switched off the water and picked up her towel, drying off as she stepped out of the shower. She paused in her toweling, catching sight of herself through the clouds of steam in the mirror on the back of the door. She lowered the towel to better study her reflection, feeling the corners of her mouth turning downwards somewhat as she did so. Her reflection frowned back at her.

It had been two weeks since baby James had made his grand entrance into the world, and though Peggy wasn't so naïve as to expect her body just to snap back into its pre-pregnancy shape, what she saw in the mirror was still a discouraging sight. She had joked near the end of the pregnancy about feeling like a whale or a bowling ball, but it had been sort of exciting to feel herself growing as James grew inside her. Now, however, well…James was no longer inside her, but the extra pounds were still there, and she was terribly soft around the middle now and didn't fit back into her old clothes as comfortably as she once did. Her skin hadn't returned to its proper shape either, stretched out and sagging in a way she felt made her look a bit melted around her stomach. She turned, hoping to catch a better angle but not finding one. Her legs, bottom and stomach were all rounder than they had once been and striped up like a tiger with stretch marks. Though she knew they would fade some in time, just as she knew she could get back into shape again, seeing it all staring back at her right now was awfully disheartening.

Her reflection swung off to the side as the door opened, and Peggy gasped and yanked the towel back up to cover herself as Steve stepped into the room. "Okay, James is—" he started before catching her expression and posture. "Um," he said, clearly confused. Peggy felt warmth rising in her cheeks. "Sorry. I'll just…" He pointed back toward the bedroom. "Sorry," he said again, then backed out and shut the door.

Peggy felt the heat continue to rise in her face and she sighed, feeling terribly embarrassed although she wasn't quite sure why. It was hardly as though Steve had made some terrible breach in etiquette just now—they walked in on one another like that all the time. And they were married, for goodness' sake, why in the world had she hidden behind her towel? If there was anything to be seen, he'd already seen it. Although…She considered as she slipped into her nightgown. Anything resembling a normal schedule in the Carter household had been turned on its head when James came home, and they were both in a bit of a mad scramble to get tasks done whenever there was time. This was the first time in two weeks that James had been asleep and they'd both been free to get ready for bed at the same time. This was…This was the first time since James had been born that Steve had actually seen her naked.

But, well, why should that matter? Three years they'd been married—Steve saw her naked all the time. That was how they ended up with James in the first place. Still…Her hand trailed down and traced a line over her stomach, and maybe she was just imagining that she could still feel the folds of skin and chubby little ripples under the fabric of her nightgown. It was just her vanity, she supposed, and she felt foolish and embarrassed for being so bothered by it, but there it was. She didn't feel anything close to attractive, and she hadn't for some time. Maybe…maybe she'd been hoping she could get back into a more pleasing shape before Steve noticed?

She took much longer than she needed to with fixing her hair and brushing her teeth, trying to see if she could regain some of her composure and get the blush to fade from her cheeks. Finally having run out of things to do and starting to get a little chilly in the damp room, she opened the door and walked back into the bedroom.

Steve was sitting up in bed reading a book. Well, he was acting like he was reading a book, anyway. The book was upside down, for starters, and his legs were crossed at the ankles, the foot of his no-longer-casted leg jiggling up and down in a frenetic rhythm. He did that when he was antsy. "Hey. Everything alright?" he asked, shooting for casual and missing completely.

She opened her mouth to say it was fine, then closed it again. She shrugged one shoulder instead and sat down on the edge of the mattress. "Sorry," she said, just as Steve blurted out an apology of his own.

"Sorry," he said at the same time she did. He huffed a laugh as they spoke together. "Sorry for barging in on you like that," he added, and though he was still clearly confused as to why it needed to be said, his voice and his eyes held nothing but sincere regret for having upset her. It sent a wave of fondness rolling through Peggy's chest, and she smiled at him.

"It's alright," she said. "I, um, I think I rather overreacted."

"What's going on?" Steve asked gently, crossing his legs and shifting himself across the mattress so he was close enough to take her hand.

Peggy felt the color coming back up in her cheeks. "You're going to think it's silly."

He smiled at her warmly. "I don't think anything you think is silly."

She smiled at that, though the red continued to rise in her cheeks. "It's just…" she started. She sighed, and Steve looked at her encouragingly, waiting for her to go on. "Since James was born, I…I feel very…There's parts of me where my skin feels too tight, and other parts where there's too much of it, and I feel all flabby and, and stretched, and like there's just, just too much of me in all the wrong places and…" She blamed the fact that she was suddenly trying not to cry on all the post-baby hormones that were still settling. "I'm having a hard time looking at my reflection and finding anything I like, and then you came in and I…I'd been looking in the mirror and saw what you would see when you look at me and I felt really embarrassed. That's why I reacted like that," she finished in a small voice.

Steve's eyes had started to water as she spoke, and he looked like he was having a hard time not crying himself when she was done. "Aw, Peggy," he breathed, nothing but sympathy in those glistening blue eyes. He slid his arms around her and she allowed herself to collapse into the embrace, nuzzling her face into his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry." He kissed the top of her head and ran one hand gently down through her hair. They sat there for several minutes and he just held her, and Peggy closed her eyes and just rested against him. She felt a ripple of tension run through his muscles and he sat up quickly, as though something had just occurred to him. "If I ever did anything to make you think—" He paused as she heard him swallow down a catch in his throat. "I'm so sorry."

She looked up at that, because it wasn't Steve's fault, and she hadn't wanted to hurt him at all. "No, no, you haven't," she assured him, putting a hand to the side of his face. "Not a thing. It's just me, I, well, I know what I must look like now, and—"

She stopped talking abruptly as Steve cut her off with a kiss, deep and fervent enough to leave her a little breathless. He smiled at her when they broke apart, reaching up a hand to brush the side of her face and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "Peggy, you're gorgeous," he told her.

She smiled at that, but she shook her head. "You're my husband. You have to say things like that." It was still nice to hear, though.

Steve huffed a soft laugh. "Yeah, I do. But you've known me since I was twenty-five years old. Have I ever been able to lie to anyone well?"

"No," she said softly.

"Have I ever been able to lie to you at all?"

She shook her head.

He smiled at her warmly. "Then believe me when I tell you that you are the most beautiful woman from any country, any planet, or any century that I have ever seen. There is not a shape you could ever be in that I'm not going to think is sexy, and I'm so sorry that you had to doubt that, and that I didn't tell you that enough." He kissed her gently. "Your body does look different than it did before James, but I love every little bit of it." He kissed her again. "Because it's yours. And if it's important to you to get it back in the shape it was before, then I will cheer you on and be right there with you while you do it, but please don't think you have to do it for me."

"You really mean that," Peggy breathed, not really doubting it but still filled with a sense of wonder at having the words spoken aloud.

"I really do," he said. "In fact," he continued. "All those things you're worried about—all those signs that you've had a baby…" One of his hands drifted down to brush tenderly across her stomach, across the side of her leg that she knew was covered in stretch marks, and the touch sent a shiver of excitement up her spine. "All they do is make me love this body even more. You grew a whole new person. A little part of me and a little part of you, and inside of you, that turned into that amazing little guy asleep down the hall. This body," he said, planting his hands on her hips and pulling her closer for a deeper kiss. "Is amazing. And if you'll pardon me being so blunt, it makes me want to do the kinds of things that might put another baby in there."

Peggy laughed at that. "If you get me pregnant again this quickly," she said, stretching up to kiss him. "I might just have to kill you."

Steve laughed too. "That's fair." He kissed her softly. "But I mean it, though, Peggy. I love every single little bit of you." He cupped one hand to the side of her face, his eyes staring deep into hers in that way that made her heart burst into a thousand little butterflies. "I love your beautiful soul. I love your good heart. I love your determined spirit and your sharp mind. And I love the body that all of that lives inside of." Another soft kiss. "No matter what shape it's in," he whispered.

Peggy felt like she might cry again, but not from hormones or embarrassment this time. "Steve, I…" She shook her head, smiling. "I told you it was silly." And though Steve might disagree that anything she could think was silly, it was, because everything he'd just said, she knew, hadn't ever really doubted it or all the ways Steve loved her. She'd just needed reminding. She smiled up at him gratefully and took his head in both her hands and kissed him. "Thank you," she breathed.

"You're welcome," he whispered, and he slid his arms around her and kissed her back, long and slow and deep enough to take her out of the world for a little while.

They leaned back against the pillows, and he kissed her and he touched her in all the ways he always did, all the ways that made her feel wanted and desired and his. And she lost herself in it for a little while, letting him kiss away the last of her worries, then she kissed him soundly and rolled away just enough to sit up. "Thank you for all those wonderful things you said," she told him. "And while I very much like where this is headed, I think we need to stop before we get to the part that might make another baby," she said apologetically. "I'm still rather sore from the last one."

Steve gave her an understanding smile and kissed her one more time. "Okay," he said, still smiling as he rolled back onto his own pillow.

"For someone as small as James is, our son has a terribly large head."

Steve snorted out a surprised laugh. "Yeah, I guess he does. Makes him awful cute, though."

"It does at that," Peggy agreed. She rolled over a little so she could snuggle against Steve's side. "I love you, darling."

"I love you too."

"And you know," she added. "Just because we're not doing everything tonight doesn't mean you have to stop kissing me."

Steve grinned. "Okay," he said, and he kissed her again.