Kenny's Creed

by bubbajack

Kenny McCormick got a new job... he never imagined it would lead him down a rabbit hole of Assassins, Templars, previous civilizations, time travel... again... and his own origins, but really its just another day in South Park right? Kenny x Harem! Butters x Harem! New Kid x Harem! multi-crossover but Assassins' Creed and South Park are the main ones.

Kenny's Creed

By: Bubbajack

Beta/Co-Author: IcySnowSage

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, Assassin's Creed, DxD, Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, Code Geass, Danganronpa, or Hellsing Ultimate.

Ch.1: A different kind of bleeding.

Kenneth "Kenny" McCorrmick was a lot of things: pothead, daredevil, princess, poor kid born on the wrong side of the tracks, and immortal. He was the kid who turned in the copious amounts of empty beer cans his parents drank from for lunch and allowance money, and did stupid shit doing whatever jobs he could for what little he could just so his little sister Karen would have more to eat than frozen waffles. He had just finished work at his second job, Abstergo Entertainment fooling around in their playtesting animus. They were using his DNA to access the memories of his ancestor Shay Patrick Cormac for an upcoming video game, Assassin's Creed Rogue, in order to do that however they needed a blood descendant to record information from, which is why they came to him a few days ago with a lucrative offer.

Join Abstergo Entertainment Colorado, help them develop their new game, they would reward him handsomely for his time. Naturally, being poorer than dirt, he accepted. They gave him an Ipad to use for work and even paid for an Uber to drive him two hours to and from work everyday, and it wouldn't come out of his paycheck either. They're offices were swank, all revolving doors and for some reason the pneumatic elevator had a fish tank on one side of it. He got along with his new boss well enough. Melanie Lemay was a pretty peppy older lady who was 'super excited' to have him on board the Rogue project as it couldn't proceed without him.

She acted more like his mom than his actual mom. Something Kenny didn't really know how to express or feel about. As he played his way through his ancestors' memories, Kenny learned various 'truths' about the world. Of Assassin's, Templars, and a precursor civilization that came before humanity itself with access to technology that made humanity's current achievement's look paltry by comparison. Ancient constructs built underground that, if disturbed or tampered with could cause an earthquake that would destroy an entire city for example.

That was how the city of Lisbon fell in November of 1755, and how Shay Cormac betrayed the Assassin's. In order to protect the world from their foolish pursuit of the Temples, he ended up joining the Templar cause, and hunting down his former allies. He hunted them all down, one by one. From Assassin ally Le Chasseur, to his actual fellow Assassins, Hope Jensen, who was using Benjamin Franklin for the creation of poison gas to attack the people of New York with, the Native American Kesegowaase, who was helping the French in the Seven Years War, Adewale a vetran of the order, whom he fought first at sea with his own ship the Morrigan, only to finish him off on land. Then last came his brother in all but blood Liam O' Brian. Best shot the Colonial Brotherhood had ever known but he too fell to the Hidden Blade on Kenny's wrists. In the end, it was down to Grandmaster Achilles and it was only due to Achilles begging for mercy that he only got kneecapped and left on an ice sheet. Now a harmless broken old man. The last memory of his ancestor he saw was of him killing Charles Dorian in the Palace of Versailles taking from him the very box that started this whole mess, and promising to start a revolution of their own here in France, since the Assassin's had taken America.

While he'd been going through his ancestors memories, he hadn't been idle in the real world either. Just going into the first chunk of Shay's memories triggered some kind of virus, causing a building evacuation and Kenny was stuck in lockdown with one Violet da Costa and the mysterious Juhani Osto Berg. Violet was a dark skinned quippy lady who had a penchant for calling him Numbskull. She also had no problem with him invading other people's privacy, all but encouraging him to hack into their computers. He did it of course. He's a curious sixteen year old boy after all, and he couldn't help but wonder why the hacking program was like some cheap minigame.

'Like, I know this is a videogame company, but this is ridiculous,' Kenny thought to himself as he finished fixing the last core in the final set of computers and finally setting all to rights within Abstergo Entertainment Colorado. Then Violet's voice chimed in over his Ipad.

"Good work Numbskull. You've got it all up and running."

"Yes. I must say you're a real go-getter for one so young Mister McCormick. Which is why, we have an offer for you. Once you upload Shays memories to the internet, come to Melonies office. I… We have an offer for you."

["Lemme guess, it's an offer I can't refuse?"] Kenny replied with a chuckle in his tone.

Violet sighed, "You really gotta remember to take your hood down when you talk Numbskull. Just meet us upstairs right quick yeah?"

["Yeah, yeah, on my way,"] Kenny replied, not bothering to take his hood down. He uploaded the video footage of Shay Cormac's life to the internet and was surprised when a chatroom window popped up on his Ipad.

It talked about how this couldn't be true and to move someone called William Miles to a different safe house. 'Assassins' probably,' Kenny thought. It didn't take a genius to figure out just who he was really working for. 'Templars and Assassins. Assassins and Templars. What's the point of it all to someone who can't truly die?' Kenny thought to himself as he ascended the elevator to his bosses office. As the elevator rose, he thought about what Juhani Osto Berg told him just before he uploaded the file.

"When pushed to the edge, Assassin's do not want freedom, but order. Order which we provide."

Kenny pondered that notion as he stepped into the office. It hadn't changed since he'd been in here a few hours ago. It still had that grey carpeting, a white desk in the corner with an office chair and computer on it, and one wall was taken up by a window facing the setting sun. The only difference was the number of people in the office now. His mother in all but blood, Melanie Lemay, her chestnut brown hair in its usual bob cut, with her wearing her usual skirt, leather jacket, green shirt, stockings, and black heels.

Violet da Costa was wearing her bomber jacket and jeans, with her dark curly hair done up in a messy bun. Juhani Osto Berg himself standing off to the side by himself.

Berg was a bear of a man, 6'5 built like a brick, and he held himself like a military man. He too wore a bomber jacket, but wore it closed, keeping his grey hair shaved close on the sides, and slicked back up top. He gave off the air of both professionalism and a career soldier. Kenny noticed the man had his left hand hidden almost casually behind his leg. He blinked hard causing his sky blue eyes to flash the same golden hue as that of an eagle.

Both Berg and Violet outlined in a crimson aura while Melanie was glowing light blue. Two hostels and one person who could be considered an ally. That's what his Eagle Vision, a gift from his ancestor Shay Cormac, was telling him. He decided to handle this delicately.

Pulling down his hood so they could understand him he said, "You wanted to see me work mom?"

Melonie smiled as she always did when he called her that. "Yes Kenny, we've got an offer for you?"

"I'll take Hello Nurse for Five-hundred Alex."

Violet rolled her eyes. "Be serious Numbskull. This is a big important moment for you."

Kenny rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and smirked. "If it sticks out in my mind more than my first blowjob, I'll be impressed."

"Kenneth!" Melonie chastised. She had little tolerance for his vulgarity. It said a lot that Kenny tried to be less vulgar around her then he did his own parents.

The teen had the decency to look contrite. "Sorry Mel," He looked to Berg before he continued, "Before we get to that though," Kenny dashed forwards and using the skills he gained both as Mysterion and from Shay, he disarmed Juhani of the gun he was hiding behind his leg first by twisting his wrist towards his chest, then twisting the gun out of his grip and into his own hands before backing up. Suppressor aimed at the man's chest. "Now, what is it you all wanted to tell me?"

"You've been trained," Juhani noted. "The Bleeding Effect? Assassin mole?"

"Six here half a dozen of the other," Kenny replied easily. Before he ejected the mag, and slid the chamber back sliding it forward and taking the gun apart. "Next time you even think about pulling a gun on me asshole, you'd better be prepared to use it."

"Not a mole then," Juhani said more to himself as Kenny threw the pieces of the gun behind his back in different directions so no one person could resemble the gun without getting past him. "Just who are you Kenneth Nascar McCormick?"

He already knew their secret so he saw no harm in trusting them with his, "I'm Mysterion."

"The vigilante in that little mountain town of yours?" Juhani asked. Seeing the blonde nod the man chuckled to himself. "Interesting, for one so young to go around playing Batman and doing a good job of it as well."

That response caused Kenny to narrow his eyes. He was sorely tempted to flip the man off for saying he was 'playing batman'. His job as Mysterion was important damn it! After all, someone had to protect South Park from all the crazy shit that happened there, and it might as well be him since he couldn't die. Still, he refrained from flipping off Mr. Berg, since he felt he only got lucky due to him not expecting a poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks being able to get a gun off him. Just because he could die and come back didn't mean he wanted to. Instead, he took the political approach. "So, what was this mysterious offer about?"

Melanie cleared her throat before she pulled both her hands out from behind her back, presenting him with a red ring box in both hands. She opened it revealing a solid gold ring that bore the Templar Cross on its face.

Kenny feigned flattery, putting a hand to his chest and batting his eyes. "Why Mel, I didn't know you were interested in me! I'm a bit too young for you though, you cradle robber you."

"I-I'm not you idiot! I- we are making you an offer to join us! To become a Templar!" Melanie squawked indignantly slightly blush at the idea of the boy she saw as a son marrying her.

Kenny laughed, "I know, I'm just fucking with you." He said, still grinning a bit when his mother from another mother gave him a sour glare. "Anyway, before I say yes, I have a list of demands."

Juhani grinned, amused. "Do you now? Let's hear them young master McCormick."

Kenny ticked off on his fingers. "I want a trust fund set up for my sister Karen. Ten grand put into it every year on her birthday that she doesn't get told about till she turns twenty-one. No matter matter what happens to me. Furthermore, no harm comes to my sister. You leave her out of this shit."

Juhani nodded. He was a family man, and very protective of his own daughter, so he could respect that. "Very well, what else?"

"I want a modern day Morrigan," Kenny continued as he really enjoyed sailing on the open sea. "And some more training time in the animus."

Juhani nodded. "We have a training program we can have you put in. Ezio Auditore da Farienze, Connor Kenway, and Edward Kenway before him. The boat will take some time if you want modern armaments."

"That's fine," Kenny replied before silently motioning for the ring box. He held the velvet lined box in his hand for a time and finally asked, "Can I think about it for awhile? This is kind of a big decision to make."

The two women looked to Juhani who nodded. "That's fine. It's not fair of us to ask something of you when we can't deliver on our end right away in any case. Once we can deliver Kenneth, we will want a decision however, and next time, I won't be so easily disarmed."

Kenny just smiled and shook his head. "Dude, it wouldn't even matter if you did shoot me, I can't die anyway."

"Ah to be young and feel invincible," Berg commented. Yet he frowned ever so slightly when the teen laughed in his face.

"No, no man is invincible. I know that better than anyone… I've died so many fucking times."

"Kenny…" Melhanie said worriedly before she looked to Violet, "Is the Bleeding Effect this pronounced?"

The other woman shook her head. "No, we never even found out how or when Shay Cormac died. He shouldn't be talking about even one death much less multiple."

"Kenny?" Berg said, taking a knee so he was eye level with him seeing the eyes of a survivor. Eyes he sees in the mirror every morning, "What're you talking about?"

Kenny had been keeping this a secret for over a decade now, and these three saw fit to trust him with their secrets and now, he saw fit to do the same. "I can't die Mr. Berg. I can be killed. I've died so many horrible ways since my first day of preschool… but I just wake up the next morning right as rain, and nobody ever remembers a damn thing."

Violet sighed, seemingly in relief, "Numbskull don't scare us like…" She stopped when her boss raised a hand. Never taking his eyes off the young blonde boy in front of him.

"You're… not joking are you?" He asked after taking a long look into Kenny's eyes.

In response, Kenny walked across the room, retrieved the parts for the gun, reassembled the gun and slid a bullet into the chamber before calmly pointing it under his chin. "Would you like a demonstration? Of course, I suppose it doesn't really matter because none of you will remember any of this, even if I off myself right in front of you." Kenny's smile was a bitter one.

Juhani Osto Berg, was a man who had seen and caused plenty of death. Be it in the Finnish Armed Forces, as a Mercenary, or as a Templar operative, He knew when someone was suicidal, crazy, high on drugs, or some kind of fanatic. Kenny McCormick was neither. He was someone who well and truly both believed and knew what he spoke to be true, not faith, but fact. Like saying the sky was blue, water was wet, and fire was hot.

"That won't be necessary Kenny, I believe you," Juhani spoke at last.

The blonde teen's eyes widened and he blinked, all natural signs of surprise, "You do?"

Juhani nodded. "Yes, no one could so easily suppress their bodies natural survival instinct otherwise. Soldiers are trained to do so, to fight instead of flee, to rush into danger, yet you, oh so calmly placed a gun under your chin and are prepared to fire. Sure as the day is long you'll wake up in your bed. So I've no choice but to believe you… Now though, I can't help but wonder why that is."

Kenny shrugged and chuckled to himself. "Beats me, your guess is as good as mine." He then tossed the gun aside and pocketed the ring box, putting it in his parka pocket. "We'll be in touch, Mr. Berg. Seeya Mel, Vi."

Kenny left the office, and it wasn't till he got on the glass elevator that anyone spoke. Melanie was the first to say what she and Violet were thinking. "Sir, do you honestly think he was telling the-"

Juhani cut her off as he stood up and replied, "I do, Miss Lemay. I would like a full workup on young McCormack's DNA, for any oddities. If we cannot silence him then we must treat him with kid gloves."

"In other words sir?" Violet asked.

"We keep a close eye on him, keep him happy, probe for weaknesses, and make him useful to the Order."

For if Kenny McCormick could not be silenced by conventional methods, then they would have to make every effort to make him an ally. To turn him to their side, and make him of use to the Templar Order before finding a way to remove him.

---

The whole ride home, Kenny spun the ring box in his hands, thinking about everything that happened today. 'Did I do the right thing telling them about my immortality? It's just I've been keeping this to myself for so damn long! I wanted to tell someone, anyone who would listen.' He looked out the car window as it passed through the nicer homes of South Park. Then he noticed someone walking alone, their head down low. ["George, you can let me off here."]

"You sure kid?" George, the guy who'd been sent to pick him up and drop him off for work everyday asked.

["Yeah, I'll walk dude,"] Kenny replied, thankfully George had no problem understanding him, hood up or no.

"Alright, good luck kid," George said with a knowing smirk as Kenny got out of the car and ran down the street after his quarry.

["Wendy! Hey Wendy! Wait up!"]

Wendy Testaburger, Stan Marsh's on again off again girlfriend, turned when she heard someone calling her name.

She'd gotten taller and filled out almost as much as Bebe in recent years. Puberty had truly been kind to her in Kenny's silent opinion. Her hair was long and dark, reaching to the small of her back, she still liked the color lavender and had since elementary school and to this day still wore that lavender beret and coat. Her hands were in her pocket when she turned to face him, but he bet if she pulled them out, he'd bet she had violet gloves on.

"Kenny? Kenny McCorrmick? What… Did you need something?" She asked hesitantly, her aqua green eyes narrowed accusingly in suspicion.

["Is everything okay?"] He asked worriedly, ["You don't normally walk alone. You're normally with the other popular girls or Stan. You looked down, so I thought I'd come check on you.]

"Stan and I broke up again," Wendy replied.

Kenny couldn't help but sigh, ["Again? What was it about this time? Politics? Did Butter's start weiners out again? He didn't, did he? I thought he stopped after we all got in trouble at that volleyball game."]

"He did," Wendy affirmed, "And it's not about that." Wendy sighed, "Stan said our long distance relationship wasn't working out, what with him living on a farm now and all."

["Dafuq?"] Kenny replied, utterly bewildered, ["He comes to school everyday, takes the bus, he's still in the same class and everything! Like, other than having to take a bus home, what has changed, how the fuck is this a long distance relationship?"]

"That's what I said!" Wendy raged, clearly having wanted to vent for some time now, "He just decided to break it off with me today at school and… and I've been confused ever since. He dumped me, ME when I've put up with his crazy shit and shenanigans for years! Then he has the nerve to dump me?! That fucking asshole!"

["Preach sister preach!"] Kenny said, egging her on so she could get all of her feelings out, that is until he saw the tears collecting in Wendy's eyes.

"He… that son of a bitch. We… We dated for… for eight years! Eight years! Then he decides to just dump me!" Wendy's vision got blurry from the tears collecting in her eyes and suddenly her vision was covered by an orange blur, and the scent of cigarettes and pot tickled her nose as she felt Kenny's arms wrap around her.

["There there, it'll be okay Wendy."] Kenny assured her as he patted her back.

Wendy pulled back with tears still in her eyes and smiled. "Yeah, everyone else told me the same thing… It's just I thought he was the one you know? I always assumed we were gonna be childhood sweethearts, graduate highschool together, go to college together, then get married while we pursued our careers before eventually settling down and raising a family."

["How many kids were in this supposed family?"] Kenny asked, bemused.

"Two boys, one girl." Wendy replied.

Kenny nodded. ["I think I found your problem Wendy. You put Stan up on this pedestal in your mind, and it was one he could never realistically live up to. It was one he would eventually fall off of."]

She pulled away as she glared at the hooded boy. "So you're saying our break up was my fault?!" She scoffed. "Typical I shouldn't have assumed any differently, you are his friend after all."

Kenny held his hands out pacifying, ["Umm no, I think Stan's being an asshole actually. In fact, I think he was looking for a convenient excuse to break up with you, though why, I don't know."]

"You think so?" Wendy asked, sounding quiet, heartbroken, and contemplative, all of her previous fire and bluster suddenly gone. "Do you really?"

["Totally possible,"] Kenny said, ["But I'm not the type to assume anything…"]

When Kenny trailed off, Wendy urged him on with a nudge and said, "But?"

Screwing up his courage, Kenny said in a rush, ["ButIthinkhe'dhavetobecrazytobreakupwithsomeoneassmartandprettyasyouinthefirstplace."]

Wendy blinked, "I don't think I understood any of that Kenny."

[Oh thank God,"] The parka wearing boy praised, patting himself figuratively on the back.

Wendy narrowed her eyes. "What did you say?"

Kenny backed nervously away. ["Nothing."]

"Kenny~." Wendy said with a warning in her tone as she took a step towards him.

[I gotta go, seeya Wendy!"] Kenny said as he took off like a shot.

"Kenny McCormick! You get back here!" Wendy said, taking off after him.

Let it be said that Kenny was fast, years of having to get up and walk to the school bus stop from halfway across town combined with his heroics had conditioned him quite well, not that anyone knew this since he rarely if ever took off his parka. This was also further enhanced by Shay's memories correcting his erratic breathing and slight missteps in his form.

Yet Wendy Testaburger was managing to keep up with him. Years of kung-fu and volleyball giving her the stamina needed to keep him in sight, if not catch up with him.

Seeing he wasn't going to be able to outrun her, Kenny decided to do something else. Running into an alleyway, he began to rapidly scale the walls, just like his ancestor did in the colonial era. Soon he was on the roof of the post office and watched in amusement as Wedny looked around for him in vain below. 'I guess it's true what they say, people rarely look up.'

Satisfied he'd gotten away, Kenny made his way down to the back of the building where a fire escape sat, practically unused except for people coming out the back for a smoke break. He never saw Wendy walk into the alley and pick something up off the ground, he was just thankful to be away from her.

Back in said alley however, Wendy Testaburger looked around fruitlessly for Kenny McCormack. She didn't see him anywhere and the alley between the post office and Tom's Rhinoplasty was a deadend. She walked into the alley looking for him, thinking he might be hiding behind some trash cans or something. Yet that wasn't the case.

'How could he just vanish like that? It doesn't make any sense,' Her foot suddenly kicked something. Looking down, she saw it was a red ring box. Wendy leaned down and picked it up. "Huh, what's this doing here?" Feeling a weight to the box she opened it and beheld the golden ring inside, the face embossed with a cross. "Wow, someone must've dropped this." She put the ring, box and all in her jacket pocket. "I'll put up posters tomorrow after school, after I get answers from Kenny." She decided as she walked off.

---

Kenny sighed as he crossed the train tracks that led to his house the white skeletal remains of Sodosopa, the former hip district of South Park stuck out like the bleached bones of a dead whale, one that was built over his house. Even from here, he could hear his parents shouting.

"DEADBEAT!"

"STUPID BITCH! THE FUCK DID YA DO WITH MA CRACK?!"

"I SMOKED IT!"

The crack of a slap rang out and Kenny hurried into his 'home'. As he figured his parents were going at it in the living room, higher than kites on meth. Slapping and in his mother's case, throwing dishes at his father who'd left a red handprint on the side of her face. He didn't pay either of his parents any mind. He was far too used to this by now, his concern wasn't for them, but for someone else entirely.

Reaching his room if it could be called that Kenny shut the door tightly and called. "Karen, Karebear, are you here?"

Hearing a rustling coming from his closet, Kenny pulled the door open carefully so as not to wrench the rickety door off its hinges. He found his little sister curled up in his closet, the one blanket he owned for his bed wrapped around her making her look like a fluffy burrito.

Kenny took a knee. "Hey Karebear. You okay?"

Karen nodded, but sniffled. "They're doing it again Ken. Why're mom and dad always fighting?!"

Kenny gave a grimace. How did he answer her? Tell her that their parents had been drug dealers and users since before she was born? Since before their older brother Kevin was born most likely? That they would likely never get clean or change their ways and one day they'd OD and die? No, as much as Kenny hated his parents, he couldn't do that to his sister. Instead, he patted her head and replied, "I don't know Karebear. They've been like this for as long as I've known them."

Karen sighed as if she expected that answer. "I wish they'd stop."

"Me too," Kenny said.

"Where were you Ken? You didn't come home at all the other day, I was worried," She said unraveling herself from his blanket so she could embrace him in a hug that warmed his soul and body more than the blanket ever could.

Kenny chuckled a little bit returning a bit before he replied, "Well, wouldn't you know the first day I start my new job an emergency lockdown happens and I get stuck in the building for a whole day?"

"Really? So it was like a sleepover at work?" Karen asked innocently.

Kenny laughed. "Yeah kinda," He said, picking her up even though she was eleven by this point.

"Did you have fun or just do work stuff the whole time?" Karen asked.

"Little bit of both, I helped solve what caused the lockdown and my boss' boss was so impressed that he decided to promote me."

Karen smiled. "That's great Ken! Promotion is good right?"

Kenny nodded. "It is. I'd be taking a more… active role in Abstergo Entertainment affairs if I said yes to the position."

Karen blinked, "You didn't take it right away?"

Kenny smiled at his sister, silently praying she kept that innocence for as long as she could. "I wanted to think about it some. It's a big responsibility."

Karen nodded. "Okay."

"I even got something really cool to signify my new position," Kenny said as he began rifling through his parka pockets… only to find nothing. He searched more frantically checking his pants, and even turning his whole parka inside out. "Shit! It's gone!"

"What is it Ken?"

"I was given a ring, a very expensive and likely important ring to hold onto until I made my decision… and I fucking lost it!"

"Is your boss' boss gonna be mad?"

Kenny grimaced. "Yeah, probably," he ran a hand through his messy blonde locks. "Well, this isn't good."

"Do you wanna go out and look for it?" Karen offered, "Anything is better than staying here right now," She half said under her breath.

Kenny thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. "No, unfortunately if someone in this town found it, they probably already hocked it. I'll check with Jimbo tomorrow to see if anyone tried to fence it to him for a gun or ammo. If not him, Mr. Tweak might know who has it." He said mostly to himself. "I'll go look tomorrow after work."

"City Wok this time?" Karen asked.

Kenny nodded. "Yep," He then offered, "Do you wanna sleep in here tonight?"

Karen smiled, head bobbing happily a bit before she frowned. "Did you eat anything Ken?"

Sheepishly Kenny shook his head. "Ah, no actually. I was very busy this past day."

Karen's jaw dropped, "You haven't eaten for a full day?! That's no good Ken!"

"I'm good Karebear, I had coffee," Kenny assured her.

Yet Karen got this stubborn look on her face and walked past him before reaching for his door handle. He put his hand on her shoulder. "Karen, stop. You don't need to go out there for my sake."

Karen looked back at him. "You're not going to bed hungry Ken, not when you try so hard for m-all of us!" Without another word she pulled open the door and headed out into the kitchen. For her safety, Kenny followed.

Karen bravely boldly stepped between her high parents catching silverware and a plate out of thin air and saying, "'Cuse me Mama, Daddy, but Ken just got home an' hasn't eaten yet."

Both of his parents were so surprised by their daughter not only just suddenly appearing in their midst, but also catching flying cutlery that they just stopped and stared silently for a moment.

"Wha… what the fuck?" Stuart McCormick said as he stared at his daughter who just pulled off the equivalent of a circus act.

"K-Karen, what're ya doin' out here darlin'? Her mother slurred mixing some of her Kentucky southern drawl into her words due to being worked up. Even her parents tried not to fight around her. Keyword being tried. Mostly due to the fear Kenny put into them as Mysterion.

Karen hardly paid them any attention as she went to the freezer and pulled out a Hungry Man dinner, popping it into the microwave before she replied, "Kenny just got home from his new job. Did so good on his firs' day he got promoted already."

"Did ya now?" Carol said, becoming more coherent as she looked at her middle child. "Good for you baby."

"Thanks mom," Kenny said flatly with no inflection of warmth or pride in his tone. He might as well be talking about the weather with a stranger. Saddest part was, he wanted to care about his parents, he just didn't have the energy by this point. For a brief second, he could've sworn he saw sadness in his mother's eyes. Yet he blinked and it was gone making him think he imagined it.

"Does this promotion come with a raise?" Stuart asked shrewdly, "Cause I reckon yer old nuff to start payin' rent if yer gonna keep livin' here boy."

"Dad, I'm barely sixteen! I shouldn't even have a job since I'm still in school," Kenny complained, only for Kenny to duck when a mostly empty beer bottle was thrown at his head.

"Don' backtalk me boy!" Stuart growled.

Kenny grimaced, and his hand subconsciously twitched his hand wanting to reach for a throwing knife he didn't have on his person. He settled for narrowing his eyes and saying nothing. Karen soon returned with his food. She handed him the warm plate and then took his arm, all but dragging him back to his room. "Let's go Ken," Back in Kenny's room, Karen and Kenny sat silently on his mattress while Kenny tore into two chicken legs. He offered the breast to Karen who declined with a shake of her head. "Naw, you eat it Ken, you must be hungry right?"

Kenny silently nodded. Seeing her eyeing his desert, he popped out the brownie and offered it to her. "Here, go ahead and eat this. I don't like super sweet things. They upset my stomach."

"You sure?" Karen asked, seeing her big brother nod, Karen happily munched away on her treat. Finishing his meal, the unknowing child spawn of Cthulhu went to his closet and changed into his night clothes, making sure his Mysterion costume was still tucked well in the back where Karen couldn't find it.

"Go get ready for bed Karebear," Kenny said as he set up his near threadbare blanket. "And don't forget to brush your teeth." He called as she hurried out of the room.

"Yes Kenny!" She called even though she was out of sight.

---

Later on that night, even though his sister was well asleep in his bed with the doll he'd gotten her in her arms, Kenny laid awake, thinking about everything he'd learned at Abstergo Entertainment. About the 'Grand Truth' he was now privy to. He didn't really care that humans were created by aliens to serve as a labor race. If anything, it made more sense than the Bible in his mind. 'Then again, where did the aliens come from? Another planet? Did they evolve here? I doubt the Templars or Assassins know or care. They're too busy fighting over scraps of the Precursors tech to even think about where these fuckers could've come from. Also what do I tell Jesus?'

Unable to sleep and with a head full of thoughts, Kenny, quiet as a church mouse so as not to wake his sister, crept out of his bed and went to his closet before digging out his Mysterion costume. He'd modified it some over the years, saved up and bought a type II kevlar vest, and stopped wearing his underwear outside of the suit. He replaced the question mark on the hood for one spray painted with glowing green spray paint. Figuring like Batman it would draw thugs attention to his chest instead of aiming at his head, not that it mattered if he died, but he didn't want to make it easy for the crooks of South Park. Donning his cloak and cowl, he made his way out into the cool Colorado night.

The wind swayed against the trees, casting shadows back and forth and making his cloak billow as Mysterion approached the police station. It took him awhile to earn the cops trust, that a then nine going on ten year old boy was going around fighting crime like some kind of vigilante. Yet he was able to get results. Goons beaten and bloody laid tied up outside the station morning after morning, just waiting to be arrested. It took time, but certain people in the department namely Sergeant Yates and Officer Barbrady started to trust him. Scaling the fire escape Kenny picked the weak lock on the window and let himself into the second story of the police station. Yates was busy filling out paperwork when he approached. The red haired and mustached man had lost some of his respect recently by going around arresting black people to feed to Shub-Niggurath, but he did arrest Jared Fogle, so he supposed that counted for something.

"Sarge."

The man practically jumped out of his chair when Kenny did his best Nolan North imitation.

"M-Mysterion! It's you." Yates stuttered

"It is. I hope you haven't been feeding any one to an Outer God lately?" Mysterion spoke in disapproval.

Yates rolled his eyes. "No, some punk fed her white meat and she ended up choking on the other cultists and dying shame really we had a good thing going for a while there."

Kenny sighed in annoyance. Yates didn't even know sarcasm when he heard it it seems. "Right, and murdering black people to appease an evil god is perfectly fine."

"I know right?! Little bastard had to go and fuck it up," Yates said annoyed.

Sighing again, Kenny asked, "Do you have any work for me?"

Yates looked through the cases on his desk. "I might have something here, hold on," He stopped on one folder in particular. "Ah, this might interest you."

Kenny took it and skimmed it. "Something about kids going missing?"

"Not just any kids, white kids, the important ones the media actually cares about," Yates said.

"Uh Huh, and you want me to find the kidnappers?" Mysterion guessed.

Yates nodded, turning around in his swivel chair for a moment. "Yep, do this and we'll mention you in our report… in a sticky note, probably."

"Yeah sure Sarge," Mysterion said, doing his best not to roll his eyes. "I'm on the case."

Turning back around, Yates found himself alone. "How the hell does he do that?"

(...)

Up on the police station roof, Kenny was going over the case folder. "Let's see here, who's gone missing… Kevin Stoley, Dougie Funny , and Gary Harrison jr… Hmm. Yeah this'll need some looking into. Despite Yate's being a racist prick." Kenny said to himself. Tucking the folder into the backpack he carried under his cloak, Kenny made his way down off the roof. He had other things he needed to do tonight. He had a ring to look for.

The first thing he did was go to the alleyway where he lost Wendy. He figured if he dropped it anywhere, it would be there, due to all the parkour he did earlier. He looked around the alley with a keen eye, being used to the dark because of all his nightly patrols in his superhero persona. He saw no sign of his red ring box, but he did find a clue. In the middle of the alleyway was a rather deep shoe impression like someone had bent over to pick something up.

'Like a box with a ring in it?' Mysterion wondered. He peered at the shoes. 'Women's size eight look like heels. Wendy was wearing heels this afternoon…' "Fuck!" He swore. As he had a pretty good idea who had his ring by this point. 'Just to be sure though I'd better check my garage and Tweaks place.' He thought as he headed off downtown towards the Tweak Family residence.

---

Picking the lock on the Tweak Family's front door was simple. Kenny crept from shadow to shadow in the house stealthily making his way towards the stairs. The third stair from the top suddenly creaked causing Kenny to suddenly stop in his tracks, waiting and listening. He activated his Eagle Vision, and looked around. The walls turned a pale grey and the doors became see through. He peered into Tweeks parents room to see both of them outlined in red and both still thankfully fast asleep. Yet Tweek wasn't in his own bed. No instead he was currently in the bathroom just across the hall from the landing of the stairs. Moving with the grace of a cat, Kenny made his way to his friend's room, and waited. He didn't have to wait long, he heard Tweek coming long before he saw him.

"SO MUCH PRESSURE! GAH! I CAN'T HANDLE IT! The erratic blonde boy opened his room and jumped back like a frightened cat when he saw Mysterion sitting on his bed waiting for him. GAH! KYLE, WHAT THE HELL?!"

Kenny resisted the urge to roll his eyes. People still thought Kyle was the real Mysterion just because he turned himself in wearing his costume. As far as Kenny knew, Kyle was the only one who knew his secret identity. "Hello Wonder Tweek. Nice night isn't it?"

"Dude what the hell are you doing in my house man?!" Tweek asked, his right eye twitching as he spoke.

"Looking for something I... misplaced. Something valuable. Something that might've been hocked to your dad for some of that 'good shit' he puts in your family's coffee."

"Kyle, seriously man, stop with the bad batman routine, especially after breaking into my house," Tweek insisted.

"I'm not Kyle Tweek," Kenny said in his normal voice, figuring he wouldn't recognise him due to his lack of hood muffling his words.

Tweeks eyes got even bigger. "But… then who… who the fuck are you man? Gah! I can't take this! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"

Kenny held out a calming hand. "Relax Tweek, I just need to know if your dad acquired anything valuable lately. Like jewelry or the like."

The other blonde in the room rapidly shook his head in a jittery fashion. "N-N-no nothing like that man. Nope, nothing of the sort."

Kenny nodded, he figured as much but it didn't hurt to check. "Alright thanks." He got up to leave."

"W-Wait a sec!" Tweek called. "You're not Kyle… then who are you?"

Kenny turned back and smiled. "Just a friend who's happy for you and Craig."

"Like thanks man," Tweek replied, "But next time you wanna talk could you like, not break into my house?"

Kenny chuckled a bit. "I could but then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it Tweek? Anyway goodnight, I'll see myself out."

"Gah, I don't like surprises! They're so… so surprising!"

---

Kenny had circled back to his own house, and was checking his 'utility belt' to see if he had everything he needed to take on the meth heads. 'Revolver, check. Bear repellant, check. Piss balloon, check.' "Okay let's do this!" Kenny said to himself before he abruptly kicked in the sidedoor to his parents garage.

The meth heads, who were sleeping on the floor in their makeshift meth lab, all awoke with a start, Kenny wasted no time spraying the closest black toothed dealer with bear mace. He then pointed his gun at the remaining two who looked scarecrow thin, and growled out, "Don't fucking move!"

"Shit, it's the Caped Question Mark!" one of the druggies said as he put his hands up.

"My name's Mysterion asshat and be quiet," Kenny said, pointing his gun between the two men while their friend writhed on the floor.

"Fuck! What'd you spray in my eyes motherfucker?!"

"Bear repellant." Kenny replied calmly.

"Can't that shit make a person go blind?!" The dealer said in pain.

"What do you care? You're dealing poison on these streets like it's going out of style!" Kenny kicked the man, "You and your fucking friends." He kicked him again, "Not giving a damn about who you hurt or why as long as you get yours. Well, I'm here to give you a taste of your own medicine."

"Shit man, whaddaya want?" One of the not blinded junkie's asked, "Money? It's over there in the safe." He pointed to an unclosed safe in the corner.

Kenny pointed the gun at the man who spoke, he was already blind in one eye by the look of him and his t-shirt was hanging off his thin frame, while his mouth was a checkerboard of missing and black teeth. "Go open it, and bring me what's inside."

The man did so, showing him several bundles of cash, a rolex, and some bags of finished 'product'. His missing ring wasn't among the hoard. So focused was Kenny on the one with the goods that he almost didn't notice the third druggie trying to get the drop on him. Key word being almost.

When the thug jumped him, Kenny rolled back and raised into an uppercut which hit the junkie right in the jaw sending him tumbling backwards into the makeshift meth lab. Kenny wasn't done. He picked the dealer up. He couldn't have weighed more than eighty pounds by that point, and slid him across the countertop upon which the lab was set. Glass and chemicals came crashing to the floor as the chemist's head found out what happened when an unstoppable object (his head) met with an invincible one (the wall of the garage). The dealer's head bounced off the side of the garage with a slight crunch.

He then turned to the last still conscious member of the group who wasn't in copious amounts of pain and said, "Hand over the cash and meth, you can keep the rolex."

"Ah man whatever you say just don't bash my skull in," the drug fiend said before doing as he was told.

"I won't," Kenny promised in his best Nolan North before asking, "Do you know anything about a bunch of white kids going missing lately?"

"Nah man, unless they buyin' or dealin' I don't know shit," The dealer replied.

"I see, thanks." Kenny then sprayed the rest of the bear repellant in the man's face and hit him with his piss filled balloon for good measure.

"Ah, you bitch! Why?!"

"You're still a drug dealer," Mysterion replied before he left him to his suffering, before returning to his room to get some semblance of sleep before school. Unfortunately, his most dreaded hypothesis for who had his ring now seemed the most likely. Curling into his blanket with Karen at his side he thought, 'I'm going to have to talk to Wendy tomorrow, and it's gonna be awkward as hell.'

---

After seeing Karen off to Middle School, Kenny made his way over to the High School with heavy steps, deep in thought. 'How do I approach this subject with Wendy? Oh hey Wendy Sorry for running away from you yesterday, but I might've dropped something important. It was a ring, I don't suppose you picked it up did you?' He scoffed to himself, 'Yeah that'll go over like a led balloon.'

"Hey Kinny!" The sound of Cartman pitchily calling his name never ceased to not annoy him at least a little. 'Seriously dude, we've been friends for years but you still can't say my name right?' The teen thought to himself as he made his way over to his friends outside South Park High.

["Sup guys?"] Kenny said, his words muffled as always due to his hoodie being up.

"Not much," Cartman replied who though he'd gotten taller due to puberty was still fat as fuck even though he didn't quite look like it as much these days.

"Hey Kenny," Kyle said, he was as always wearing his green ushanka hat, doing his best to cover his curly red hair likely so Cartman wouldn't make fun of him for being a soulless ginger, and then there was Stan.

Stan looked half dead. His face was covered in stubble, he had black circles under his eyes and he was missing his trademark beanie, his black hair was out and hanging over his face.

["Dude, everything okay Stan?"] Kenny asked, surely he wasn't messed up over Wendy when he was the one who broke up with her right?

"Hmm, yeah, everything's fine Kenny," Stan said, not really paying attention to the conversation, like his mind was elsewhere.

"Dude, he's just being all emo cause Wendy dumped him again," Cartman noted. "Give em a couple of days, he'll join the Goth Kids for a bit before he goes crawling back to her."

"Fuck you fatass. This time it's permanent. We're… we're not getting back together," Stan replied.

[Why'd you break up anyway? I heard it was you who dumped her this time. Something about a long distance relationship not working out?"] Kenny inquired.

"What? Stan dumped Wendy oh this is rich! So Stan, you finally wised up and dumped the hippy bitch huh? Good on you dude," Eric said patting Stan on the back.

"Piss off Cartman, this has nothing to do with you," Stan said, while shoving him away. He turned to Kenny, "I'm assuming you talked to Wendy?"

["I saw her on my way home from work yeah. She was looking pretty down,"] Kenny affirmed.

Stan grimaced as they made their way to their lockers. "I see. Well yeah that's about when we broke up yesterday."

["But why dude, I just don't get it. I mean I always thought you and her were gonna last you know? Sorry if I'm being nosy, it just comes as a shock I guess."]

Stan gave a bitter smile. "I know, and thanks for being there for her dude, I appreciate it. I know this may be weird of me to ask, but could you keep being there for her. She's gonna need a friend now more than ever."

["Uhh sure dude no problem,"] Kenny didn't know what was going on with Stan, but something was up for sure.

"Hey Stan!" Bebe suddenly called getting his attention. She came up to him looking rather nervous. "Could we uh, talk for a moment?"

"S-Sure Bebe. You guys go on ahead," Stan said before walking off with the blonde.

"What… the fuck was all that about?" Cartman said what all three of them were thinking.

"I dunno, but it's not really any of our business. If and when Stan wants to tell us he will," Kyle said, ever the voice of reason.

Kenny nodded silently as he watched his friend walk off, silently hoping everything was going to be okay with him as he headed to his first class.

---

"Today class, we will be starting a group project," Their Current Events teacher Mr. Antifa, a man who never took off a black ski mask began. "You will all be paired into groups of two, of my choosing!" He continued before anyone could protest. "Your assignment is to learn all you can about your partner and turn in an essay at least five pages in length by the end of the month. In order to accomplish this, you are to hang out with this person after school, even on the weekends. I'll be choosing the groups so you don't just randomly pick your friends."

Kenny didn't particularly care who he got. He knew no matter who it was they'd probably get along alright. 'I don't know if it'd be awkward or convenient if I got paired with Wendy though. I mean, I have two jobs and I can't just drag her to work with me citing a school assignment can I?'

"Lastly Kenny McCormick and Wendy Testaburger."

'Son of a bitch!' Kenny thought before raising his hand.

"Yes, Mr. McCormick? Mr. Antifa asked.

["Umm Sir, I work two different jobs after school and I'm not sure they'd be okay with me bringing Wendy around for eight hours a day."]

Mr. Antifa sent the boy a glare from under his ski mask. "Could someone translate just what the hell Mr. McCormick just said, honestly son you're taking your white privilege way too far."

"Sir, he said he works two different jobs after school and wasn't sure if his bosses would let me hang around just for a school assignment," Wendy replied for him.

"Oh, I see. Well then, do what you can while in school and see if you can work something out with your superiors Mr. McCormick. It's not fair that the others have to spend so much time together and you choose to work. Again, stop abusing your white privilege."

["Man fuck you and your white privilage bullshit!"] Kenny raged.

"What did he say?" The teacher asked.

"He said he'll do his best sir," Wendy replied sweetly.

"Right then everyone you can take the rest of the period to get to know your partners. Good luck," Mr. Antifa said before he pulled out a magazine entitled BLM Monthly and started to read.

Kenny slammed his head down on his desk and sighed. He heard footsteps approaching but didn't bother to look up until he heard Wendy clear her throat. Even then, he only looked to the side and said, ["Sup Wendy, how're you today?"]

"Hi Kenny, we never did get to finish our conversation from yesterday," Wendy said with a cat who ate the canary smile on her face.

["No, we didn't, did we? I had to cut and run,"] Kenny replied sitting up.

"I noticed," Wendy replied, "Nowhere to run today though."

The blonde sighed, ["Yeah I noticed that too."]

"Hey c'mon I don't bite," Wendy joked.

["No you just have people killed and sent into the sun if they cross you,"] Kenny replied.

Wendy's jaw fell open. "How did you?"

Kenny laughed, ["Wendy I'm the poor kid. I'm the one no one ever pays attention to unless it suits them. I might as well be a bush half the time. You didn't see me back then, but I saw and heard you making that phone call to get rid of Mrs. Ellen. Nice Arabic by the way."]

"Thanks." Wendy said awkwardly.

["You're welcome, so…"]

"Yeah… what did you say to me yesterday?"

["Do we have to talk about that?"] Kenny groaned.

"Yes, I wanna know what you said," Wendy retorted. "It's so hard to understand you with that hood up. Would it kill you to take it down?"

["I guess not, it's just that I…"] Kenny trailed off.

"That?" Wendy pressed.

["I'm shy."] Kenny confessed as he pulled the hood down. "When I wear the hood I feel like I can say or do whatever because I'm semi anonymous. With it down though…"

"You get nervous and can't talk right?" Wendy guessed. To which Kenny nodded. Wendy took some time examining Kenny's face. He had messy blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He was quite handsome if she were being honest with herself. She quickly gave her head a shake. 'Get a hold of yourself Testaburger, you just got dumped yesterday you shouldn't think of rebounding so quick,' She continued, "Well just focus on me okay?" Kenny nodded nervously.

"Hey guys did we get a new kid in class or something? Cartman called. "Who's that new guy Wendy is talking to?"

Kenny rolled his eyes and sighed, before he pulled his hood back up. ["It's me Cartman. Stupid fatass."]

Cartman's eyes got big. "HOLY SHIT! Kinny your Aryan! Why didn't you tell me you were part of the superior race?!"

["That's the other reason I never take my hood off, no one ever recognizes me without it. Also, fuck you and your nazism Cartman."] Kenny shot back.

"Okay screw you then stupid poor kid," Cartman shot back before he turned to his partner for this assignment. "So where were we Token?"

"Dude, fuck you." Token, whose normal clothes were now filled out with how buff he got after reaching puberty, replied getting up and walking away.

"What?" Cartman asked, "What'd I do?!"

Kenny sighed, Cartman would never learn it seems. He glanced across the room at the one person who considered him his best friend Leopold 'Butters' Stoch who finally opened up his turquoise jacket showing off a cactus that said "Free Hugs" on it. He was more lanky and less built then the other boys that didn't stop him from looking like a model in his own right. He was talking to Henrietta Biggle of all people. Unlike Cartman Henrietta seemed to have lost some weight and let her curves grow in all the right places that filled out her black gown in all the right ways reminiscent of a pudgy Morticia Addams who had a larger rack, thicker thighs, a medium sized belly and a descent bubble butt that was squeezed into her chair. Kenny didn't even know she was in this class.

"Um so uh Henrietta, what do you like to do?" Butters asked as he tapped his knuckles together, something he only did while nervous.

"Smoke, hang out behind the school, and not be a conformist," Henrietta replied easily.

"I see. What's a conformist?" Butters asked innocently.

"Anyone who conforms to society and its norms. Basically everyone in this class, well, maybe not Kenny. He's alright. Even if he is just a poser and not a true goth."

Butters smiled. "Yeah Kenny's a good guy. Loyal."

Henrietta rolled her eyes wishing she had a cigarette right now. "Yeah that's cool I guess."

Suddenly Butters pulled an opened pack of cigarettes out of his backpack and offered her one. "You looked like you could use one of these."

"Where the hell did you?" Henrietta began.

"Oh, I used to be a pimp, I could always tell when one of my hoes needed a smoke," Butters admitted in that cheerful tone of his.

Henrietta gave Butters a once over. "Huh, I guess you're not such a conformist after all Butterball."

"Thanks, I think? Will me being a nonconformist get me grounded?" He asked worriedly, thinking of the long list of ridiculous things his father has grounded him for. Some of them are beyond human comprehension.

Henrietta rolled her eyes. "Dude, if you get grounded for stupid things then you just need to rebel. Like if you get grounded, just sneak out of the house. Clearly your parents aren't an authority worth respecting, damn conformists."

Butter's shrugged. "I guess, but if they caught me sneaking out, they'd just ground me more."

Henrietta leaned close, snatching the cigarette from the innocent blonde giving him a grand show of her cleavage squeezed into her lacy black bra and pushing the boundaries of her dress as she did so. "Yeah Butterball, that's what makes it fun."

"W-Well, I guess if you say so, I'll give it a shot sometime Henrietta," The blonde said as he nervously punched his knuckles together.

"Whatever you say Mac Daddy Butterball," Henrietta rolled her eyes and she slipped the cigarette into her bra, but she had a small smile on her face.

Kenny was drawn out of his eavesdropping by a light tap on his shoulder. He saw the vision of loveliness that was Wendy Testaburger smiling his way. "So you and Butters are close huh?"

["He says I'm his best friend, but I don't know why. Took me to Hawaii to attend his manhood ceremony and everything."]

"Oh wow, that must've been amazing!" Wendy's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "I bet you got to see all kinds of things, like coconut trees, got leahs, ate poi, and you got to see a native ceremony too. I'm almost jealous."

["Yeah it was pretty cool.] Kenny admitted. ["The only part that sucked was when a cruiseliner tried to take over the island."]

Wendy became wide eyed. "What happened?"

["Butters sunk the whole ship with a well placed golf ball shot… somehow."]

Wendy blinked, then frowned. "If you don't want to tell me Kenny, you could just say so."

Kenny put his hand over his heart. ["I'm telling the truth. I swear."] He then called out, ["Hey Butters?!"]

The blonde boy looked over. "Yeah, what's up Ken?"

["Did you or did you not sink an ocean cruise liner in Hawaii with nothing but a golf ball, and driver?"] Kenny asked.

Butters looked down and nervously pushed his knuckles together. "Oh… um yeah I did… I got grounded for that."

Henrietta quirked an eyebrow looking impressed. "You sank a boat full of conformists? Color me impressed, Butterball."

"I think the only color you'd like to be painted is black isn't that right Henrietta?" Butters shot back, managing to get a small smile from the Goth.

"Wow, so he really did," Wendy said, sounding impressed. "Okay sorry about not believing you about that but that sounds out there even for…"

["Even for South Park?"] Kenny finished for her. ["Yeah I know what you mean, but it happened."]

Wendy nodded. "So when will you tell me what you said yesterday?"

["Ughh, you don't give up do you?"] Seeing Wendy shake her head, he looked over at Stan who himself was paired up with Tweek, he felt sorry for the poor guy, before saying, ["I'll tell you during lunch, that is if you don't mind hanging out with me?"]

Wendy smiled. "I'd love to, Kenny."

["Cool. By the way when you were chasing after me yesterday you didn't happen to come across a red ring box with a gold ring inside did you?"]

This was the second time in just a few minutes Wendy Testaburger was thrown for a loop by something Kenny McCormick had said. She didn't expect him of all people to own a solid gold ring. She didn't like judging people, but it was well known that Kenny's family wasn't exactly rich. 'It's hard not to know what with Cartman always mocking him for being poor all the time. So where'd he get it?' She wondered. "The ring is yours?"

Kenny sighed in relief. ["So you did find it. Thank God. I just got promoted at my new job and that's the signifier of my new position which I'm not even sure if I'm gonna take yet, so for me to lose it before even deciding well… I felt really dumb. I'm glad someone honest and dependable in this town found it."]

Wendy preened a bit on being called honest and dependable. "Well Kenny I propose a trade. I'll return your ring at lunch, but only if you tell me what you said yesterday," Seeing the boy about to protest, she quickly added. "I can't give it back to you right now anyway, it's in my locker. So the earliest time I can get it back to you is lunch."

["Actually I was going to say that's fine. I kinda figured you'd try this once you knew the ring was mine anyway,"] The hooded boy said with a shrug.

"Oh," Wendy said blinking, "Am I that predictable?"

["Politicians and the politically minded aren't hard to figure out. They use whatever power and leverage they have to their advantage."]

Wendy frowned. "You make me sound like a monster."

Kenny pulled his hood down to make sure she wouldn't misunderstand him. "Not you, you genuinely want to help people, your heart is in the right place. Politics though it changes people. Power changes and warps people into things unrecognizable when they look into the mirror. First they give minor concessions to their beliefs, then small things become big things, and before they know it thirty years down the road the person they began as, who was going to change the world through reform and do it their way, was the exact same thing they swore they'd never become. Just be careful you don't sacrifice your morals and beliefs along the way." Sensing an awkward silence, Kenny looked around and saw everyone staring at him. He immediately pulled his hood back up and drew the strings taut, ["What?"] He asked.

"Dude," Kyle said, "That's the most you've ever spoken at one time with your hood down… and it was kind of a badass speech too."

"I-I-I gotta ag-g-gree with Kyle Kenny, you're rather well spoken," Jimmy, his partner for this project praised.

Kenny with his head pulled tight over his head, was quick to reply, ["Jesus guys, I talk with my hood down one time, and you treat me like I'm Doug."]

"Who the fucking hell is Doug?" Cartman asked.

"That would be me oh wise lardass wizard the Coon," The boy everybody knew as Douchebag or simply The New Kid spoke up, the pale messy brown haired, stoic almost mute boy replied. He aged pretty well all things considered. Pretty buff from all his time working out with "helping" the town of South Park. He wore a t-shirt and shorts showing off his slightly tanned skin.

"Douchebag's name is Doug… why did none of us know about this?" Stan asked as muttering broke out amongst the class.

"None of you shitheads besides Kenny ever actually asked me my name. You either called me Douchebag or New Kid," The boy shrugged. "I saw no reason to correct a bunch of assholes."

"Fuck you Asslord!" Cartman retorted.

"That's King Asslord to you Wizard Coon," Doug replied with a smirk on his lips.

"Fucking asshole! Just because you have magic ass powers does not mean you get to disrespect my authoritah!" Cartman raged.

"Shut up before I decide to fart on your balls fatboy," Doug said, tiring of Cartman already.

Cartman gasped. "You wouldn't dare! Also, I'm not fat, I'm big boned!"

The new kid just gave him a blank stare. "Wouldn't I Cartman, wouldn't I?"

"Shit guys, I think he's serious," Cartman said, backing down after staring into the other boy's eyes for a moment.

"Alright you little first world country privileged crotch goblins, settle down," Mr. Antifa said. "Check all of your white privilege."

["Dude, Token lives in a gated community called dark meadows but his family is the only house there. How is that not privilege?"] Kenny rebutted.

"I actually agree," Token replied. "Also apparently the contracting company paid to develop Dark Meadows did real shoddy work and so my dad was able to buy the land for dirt from the city and build our house."

"Aw hamburgers, sorry Doug," Butters said, always quick to apologize.

"It's fine Leopold." Doug replied. He knew the boy was a mostly gentle soul.

"Who the fuck is Leopold?!" Cartman questioned. "Do we have the relative of Leopold II of Belgium in this fucking class or something?"

Butters just shook his head. "Call me Butters or at least Leo please."

"Butters, your fucking name is Leopold?" Cartman said doing his best not to laugh.

The blonde did his best not to sigh, "Yes, Cartman it is."

"BWHAHAHA! That's fucking hilarious!"

"Fuck you fat boy. At least he's not some loser conformist who doesn't let his name define who he is, and cries like a fucking manbaby when he doesn't get his way," Henrietta replied, she really wanted to smoke that cig Butters gave her right now. Dealing with Eric Cartman tended to do that to her, or anyone in Cartmans immediate vicinity.

"Fuck you you dumpy emo bitch!" Cartman replied. "You and the fucking hippy chick over there have something in common," Cartman pointed at Wendy. "You're both stuck with easy jobs for this assignment. Kinny? He's poorer than the dirt his shitty trailer is built on, and Butters? He's like Dopey from Snow White. He'll do anything anyone tells him to just because the other person says it's a good idea."

"Cartman, that's not very nice," Butter said, frowning and pushing his fists together so hard his knuckles popped. Henrietta noticed the sound and turned. She realized something most kids didn't realize. Butters was actually pretty fit even with his model physique. In fact she noticed that popping his knuckles caused his arms to flex and she saw them bulge in his sleeves hidden mostly from view.

"I believe the words you're looking for Butters are fuck you Cartman!" Kenny said, taking his hood down so he wouldn't be misunderstood. "You're an asshole, you know that? We," He pointed to himself, Stan and Kyle, "Aren't even really your friends. Now, I can't speak for the other two, but I'm not friends with you because I like being around you, I put up with your sorry ass because I feel sorry for you, because I know if I didn't stick around, you would probably have no one at all, and that's just sad. Being all alone is worse than being poor… trust me, I know," Kenny said the last part sounding as if he were speaking from experience.

"Kenny," Wendy said, wondering what was going through his head at that moment.

"Oh yeah, well fuck you Kinny! Who needs you!" Cartman retorted.

"You say that, but I bet in a week you'll come up with some stupid scheme that'll get us all in trouble. You always do Cartman."

Cartman with some difficulty due to how fat he was shimmed out from his desk and stood up. "Oh yeah, well screw you guys I'm going home!" He promptly picked up his bookbag and left the room.

"Fucking fatass," Kenny said with a sigh as he stared at the ceiling, before he too got up grabbing his tattered book bag that was a hand me down from his brother, and made his way to the door himself.

"McCormick, where are you going? You're pushing your privilege quite far today young man," Mr. Antifa noted.

"Guidance Counselors office," Kenny grunted. "You were about to send me down that way anyhow right?" He said putting his hand on the door before turning to Wendy and saying, "I'll see you at lunch, partner."

Wendy smiled shyly. "Seeya Kenny."

---

Kenny was sitting in a seat outside of Mr. Makie's office when his voice came over the intercom saying, "Would Kenny McCormick please come to my office, m'kay? Thank you."

Taking that as his cue. Kenny let himself into Mackie's office. It wasn't any different than the one he had when he was an elementary school student, well, it might've had more square footage, but that was about it. He still had the same filing cabinets behind his desk, same beige metal desk with the natural grain wood finish, and he had a cup full of pens and a computer sitting on top of said desk along with a stress ball. If Kenny were a betting man, he would wager fifty bucks at least on the man keeping some pot and a fifth of a bottle of bourbon in some of his drawers.

"Kenny go ahead and take a seat, m'kay?" Mr. Mackie said motioning to the yellow plastic chair in front of his desk.

["M'kay."]

The two sat in silence for a moment before Mr. Mackie folded his hands. "What seems to have set you off little buddie? You usually put up with Cartman's bullisht pardon my french no problem. What made today so difficult?"

Kenny took a breath. Mr. Mackie was one of the few people he felt he could confide in about most things. Unlike most of the adults in South Park, he wasn't a complete moron. ["Well Mr. Mackie sir, I'd just been up for the past twenty-four hours working my new job."]

"Mmhm, you got a second job you told me about that last week. You seemed really excited. Abstergo Entertainment right? How'd that go? Did it go m'kay?"

Kenny shook his head. ["No, not exactly, sir. It kinda went downhill fast. I can't go into specifics due to NDA's of course, but to paint it in broad strokes for you, the whole building got put in a lockdown and I was tasked with helping fix it. I succeeded, and got a promotion out of it. I'm tired as fuck sir, and I am in no mood to deal with Cartman's assholishness."]

Mackie nodded slowly adjusting his glasses after a minute. "I see, m'kay. So that's why you were missing from school yesterday. You could've just stayed home you know?"

Kenny shook his head. ["No sir, I miss enough school as it is."] It was sadly true, what with all of his deaths, and everyone forgetting about him, Kenny had a horrible attendance record. Not of his own volition of course, but still. He wanted to graduate with at least a C average, and even that was looking tenuous at this point.

Mackie nodded again. "Yeah, I get you m'kay. So is there anything else going on that might've caused this?"

["Umm, no…"] The hooded boy said evasively.

"Kenny, we've talked about this, I can't help you if you aren't honest with me, m'kay?"

The immortal sighed. ["I ran into Wendy Testaburger on my way home. We talked for a bit."]

"M'kay and did you tell her how you felt about her?" Mackie asked. The high school guidance counselor was the only one who knew about his long standing crush on his best friend's long term girlfriend. He knew how to keep a secret after all.

["Hell no man, that would be breaking the bro code, you know that. No flirting with the girl your buddy likes, no sleeping with your buddy's girl, and…"

Mackie cut him off, "And no dating your buddies ex, yes Kenny I know. I'm well aware of the bro code, m'kay? Having said that, aren't you forgetting something?"

["What's that?"] Kenny wondered, cocking his head to the side.

"Wendy's opinion in all of this, m'kay," Mackie replied, "She's her own person with her own thoughts and feelings m'kay. Maybe if she knew you were interested, she'd be willing to give you a shot. Remember Kenny, you'll always miss one hundred percent of shots you don't take, m'kay?"

Kenny nodded, he knew Mr. Mackie was right. ["Yeah, thanks for your time sir."]

"Here, I'll write you a note, m'kay?" Mackie said, handing him a written note so he could get to what little remained of his next class before lunch. "Remember Kenny, I'm on your side, m'kay? So if you ever need my help with anything feel free to ask."

["I will Mr. Mackie. Thank you for your time."] Kenny said before he excused himself from the man's office, and decided since only ten or so minutes were left in class to just head to the cafeteria and get lunch. He had enough money to buy today. 'Mr. Mackie's right, maybe I should just tell Wendy how I've felt about her.' He thought to himself as he made his way into the lunch room.

---

Kenny, due to showing up in the cafeteria early managed to snag not only a double helping of pizza, but also a circular table in a far corner. It had six seats, and was under a pair of fluorescent lights that wasn't constantly flickering. The other option for lunch was Salisbury steak that may as well be rubber coated in gravy. So he was happy he was able to get a double helping of the good stuff. He waited as everyone else piled into the lunch room hurrying to get pizza so they wouldn't get stuck with the dreaded Salisbury steak. He waited patiently for Wendy to arrive, and she was one of the last to show, surrounded by her usual clique of Bebe, Red, and Nicole, Kenny let out a shrill whistle to get her attention and waved.

She waved back upon seeing him and said something to her friends before making her way over. "Hey Kenny, let me just get my lunch and I'll be right with you, okay?"

"Timmy, Timmy, TIMMY!" Timmy said. His tray was filled with a pizza slice.

"T-That's R-r-r-r-r-r-right Tim me and you got the la-la-la-la-final slices of pizza," Jimmy said as he and Timmy made their way to the table they shared.

Wendy frowned. "Well, looks like I'll be having the Salisbury Steak for lunch." Wendy said with a grimace.

Only for Kenny to get up and pull a chair out for her. ["Go ahead and sit down Wendy, I prepared for this."] Surprised by his kindness, Wendy sat and was further surprised when he handed over a slice of pizza, and a spare chocolate milk he had on his tray. ["Here you go, eat up while it's still warm."]

Wendy blinked, "I… thanks Kenny." She then reached into her pocket and pulled out a red ring box. "I think this is yours?"

Kenny quickly snatched up the box and opened it, seeing the golden ring inside, he did his best gollum impression, ["My Precious! We have the Precious back, Gollum!"]

Wendy chuckled at that and from the folds of his hood, Kenny found himself smiling, enjoying the wind chime-like sound of her laughter. "That was a pretty good impression Kenny."

["Thanks."]

Wendy took a bite of her pizza before she replied. "No problem. So, about your end of the deal…"

Kenny decided to just rip the bandaid off and get it over with. He pulled down his hood and spoke quickly. "Right, well to be blunt about it, I said I thought Stan was an idiot for breaking up with a girl as smart and pretty as you in the first place."

Wendy felt her face heating up as she heard Kenny speak. "I-um oh! That's very sweet of you to say Kenny."

The boy pulled his parka hood on and drew the strings taut, hiding his face and embarrassment away from the world. "[Gah!"] He didn't move, he refused to look out of the small gap in his hood until he felt a hand over his. He then peeked out of the hole in his hood and saw Wendy placing her hand over his, leaning close so she could peek into the small gap in his hoodie.

"Kenny, it's okay. You don't need to feel scared just because you complimented me. I'm flattered really."

["That's great but…"] he trailed off.

"But?" Wendy asked, speaking softly as she didn't want to frighten him anymore than he already was. Kenny was clearly nervous about something. Which was unusual for him as he was quite straightforward and blunt about what he wanted or did.

["Well, and don't take this the wrong way, but your Stan's girl,"] Kenny said, ["Bro code says you don't date a friend's ex."]

'I don't understand why he's reacting like this, Kenny and I aren't dating, unless…' Wendy had a thought. It was sudden but it made a lot of sense and put some of Kennys previous actions, like the few times it was just him, her and Mr. Garrison alone in a classroom into perspective. Everytime they were alone together, Kenny would throw himself out of the nearest window or down the closest flight of steps. She honestly wondered how he survived some of those falls over the years, especially when some of them were on the second floor, but now she had a pretty good reason as to why he was avoiding her, she just needed him to confirm it. "Kenny McCormick, do you have a crush on me?"

Kenny's mind was moving a million miles an hour. She'd asked him straight out. He couldn't think straight, so his mouth acted before his brain did. ["Gah! Um...I-uh...yes! Please excuse me, I'm gonna go kill myself now."] Kenny promptly got up leaving his half eaten slice of pizza on the table and left the cafeteria.

Wendy was quick to follow in his wake. She didn't want Kenny hurting himself just because he confessed to her and thought he was breaking some kind of guy code. It did make her think of him as rather loyal to his friends as she searched for him. 'He's more loyal than 'him', I'll give him that much.' Wendy thought to herself as she scoured the hallways of the school for the missing boy.

She wrinkled her nose as she picked up the heavy smell of cigarette smoke. Deciding to follow it, she soon found the Goth Kids and Butters hanging out behind the school. Running up to them, a little breath from all the running she asked, "Have you guys seen Kenny?"

"Oh hey Wendy!" Butters said cheerfully before frowning. "Yeah Ken took off, he looked upset. Did you two have a tiff or something?"

Wendy looked away confused. "I don't know? He admitted to having feelings for me, then he just up and left."

"That's terrible?" Butter said, cocking his head to the side in confusion. "Is that terrible?"

Wendy thought it over. "I don't think so? I mean, it's a little sudden, and Stan just broke up with me yesterday."

One of the goth kids, the one with the perm, she thought his name was Michael, sighed, "Seriously, Henrietta, why do we have to put up with these conformists in our place of darkness?"

"Class project Michael, and Butters isn't that bad. He took out a whole ocean liner of conformists with a golf ball, and he was a pimp." Henrietta defended.

"And an author, and ran a Circuit City at one point," Butters added.

"That's pretty Goth." Michael conceded.

"Could've been more goth though." The small one named Firkle replied.

Butters just shrugged. "I've been told I have great managerial skills."

"That's impressive," Wendy complimented. "But do you know where Kenny might've gone?"

"Off campus," Butters said, "There's only three places he could've gone. Home, which is unlikely he doesn't like his place. His job at City Wok, he works there every other day, and when he's not working there, he recently took an Uber to Abstergo Entertainment, his other job."

Wendy looked out into the distance. She'd never skipped school before, prided herself on her perfect attendance and grades. 'Kenny said he was going to kill himself, he wouldn't actually do that would he?' She didn't want to take that chance. So she did something she normally would never do.

She skipped school. She had a boy to go find.

---

"Welcome to Shitty Wok me take your order now please," Tuong Lu Kim said as the bell near his door wrang when it opened, only to reveal his favorite employee. "Kinny boy! What you doing here?! You supposed to be in skool yes? Was skool invaded by Mongorians?"

"No Mr. Kim, I just… needed to clear my head, you know?" Kenny replied as he took off his parka and put on his City Wok vest and apron over his white shirt before he made his way into the kitchen.

"Me know very well Kinny boy. You go back, you cook yeah? Lose yourself in za frow of cooking."

That's exactly what Kenny did, he went to the back and started filling out orders. Making City Beef, Chicken, and Shrimp.

"Kinny boy, you sure skool not get invaded by Mongorians?" Mr. Kim called back in the kitchen after Kenny helped finish the lunch rush.

"Yes sir," He replied back in mandarin, "Why?"

"Cause nice girl your age here asking for you. She your girlfriend?" Mr. Kim asked.

'Cute girl? Don't tell me she cut class to come looking for me,' Kenny thought. He looked out the serving window, and sure enough, there was Wendy Testaburger, looking a little red in the face, likely from running all the way here. 'She's gotta be starving,' Kenny thought to himself as he proceeded to make the City Wok House Special, which consisted of fried rice, beef, chicken, and pork, mixed with lo mein noodles. He called out, "Tell her I'll be out as soon as I finish this order!"

"I heard you… just fine Kenny," Wendy called, slightly out of breath.

"Okay, then go sit down Princess you sound half dead," Kenny called back.

Despite being winded and blaming the redness on her cheeks for the perpetual cold in the colorado air, Wendy replied with, "Fine Pretty Boy, just don't be running off this time."

"I won't," Kenny promised. He had nowhere left to run to anyway.

He came out of the back five minutes later carrying the house special and two pairs of chopsticks. He found Wendy sitting at a corner table. Plopping the food down in front of her he said, "What would you like to drink?"

"I… orange soda please," Wendy was thrown off by his sudden gesture of food. 'This is the second time today. He's awfully considerate.'

He came back shortly with two large fountain drinks. Passing one to her he said, "Dig in."

Wendy smiled. "Sure, thanks." The two ate in silence for a little bit, then Wendy just decided to go ahead and ask. "So, how long have you had a crush on me Kenny?"

Kenny, who was slurping on some noodles at the moment, almost choked. Patting himself in the chest for a moment, he coughs and accuses, "You did that on purpose, Testaburger?"

Wendy batted her eyelashes innocently. "Who me, no never. I'm not at all irked that I've had to run after you twice now, with the second time being in the middle of a school day."

"Kinny-boy sleeping on couch tonight. Mmhm, the woman pissed," His boss commented from his place behind the counter with a smug grin on his face.

Kenny ignored his boss, and instead focused on answering his project partner after all, that's all she was at the moment. He decided to just be honest with her. "Well, since the first day of kindergarten."

Wendy's eyes got big, she blinked for several moments trying to process this. "I… that's a really long time Kenny! Why didn't you say anything?"

"Well," Kenny said thinking back to the day he first saw her. "I saw you on the playground with Bebe, I remember thinking to myself you were really pretty. I was gonna go over to talk to you when Stan asked me to join his, Kyle and Cartman's football game. Stan saw where I was looking and he was immediately smitten with you. He was all like, I'm gonna marry that girl. Since he was the first person to really be nice to me, I decided to keep quiet," Kenny finished. He didn't mention the fact that that was also the day he found out he was immortal. Cartman had quickly gotten bored of football once he and Kyle had started losing and had decided to show off by jumping off the swing after getting as high as he could… He landed on Kenny himself snapping his neck, as even back then, Cartman was rather chubby.

Wendy gave Kenny a sad smile. "You really are loyal Kenny."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you might as well call me Lassie."

Wendy reached over the plate and patted his head. "Good boy."

"Ha ha," Kenny said flatly, before his Abstergo given cell phone went off, the 'Dadada' of Zelda was unmistakable. Kenny reached into his pocket and looked at the number. 'Why is Mr. Juhani calling me and how did his number get on my contact list?' Kenny wondered as he took the call with a tentative "Hello?"

"Kenneth, something has come up, we need you on site immediately. We're sending George to pick you up at your current location," Juhani informed him, not bothering with niceties.

"Umm, okay boss but I'm not at school. Also, I'm kinda stuck with this weird school assignment. One where I…" Kenny began only to be cut off by the man on the other end.

"I'm well aware Kenneth, we've taken the liberty of keeping track of your school itinerary Miss Testaburger is expected as well. George will be pulling up outside the City Wok in twenty."

"Boss, do you have a tracker in my phone?" Kenny asked bluntly.

Juhani didn't even bother to hide it. "Obviously. We track everything you do Kenneth."

"Everything? Even the?"

"Yes, even the Pornhub account Kenneth. Now you'd best prepare for George's arrival. We'll be waiting for you." Just like that the call ended leaving kenny staring at his phone. "Pleasure talking to you too boss."

"Who was that?" Wendy asked.

"My bosses boss at Abstergo Entertainment, they're expecting us." Kenny replied as he got up and went over to his other boss. "Mr. Kim sir, Abstergo just called, they need me in the office."

"Shay no more Kinny-boy, you already work too much hours anyway. Already got sixty-five hours this reek alone."

Kenny rubbed his head bashfully. "Yeah well, I need all the cash I can get, boss. You mind if I cook up another House Special while I wait? I wanna make a good impression on the other bosses. You can take it outta my pay if you want."

"You go, you cook, you brownose other bosses and get big paycheck," Kim said, waving him towards the kitchen.

Kenny had four to go boxes stuffed with the house special ready to go.. He came out of the kitchen and found his and Wendy's lunch was already boxed up, by Wendy herself.

"Little missie do good job, she ever wanna work here, I hire her on the spot," Mr. Kim noted.

"Thanks Mr. Kim, I might take you up on that offer," Wendy replied as she finished tying off their meal in a plastic bag that had the City Wok logo on it. Kenny finished doing the same with his bosses meals right as George pulled up in the car and honked the horn. "Hurry up kids, it's not a good idea to keep the bosses waiting!"

The pair quickly got in the back seat and George all but peeled out of the parking lot, sweat dripping from his brow as he pushed sixty in a school zone swerving in and out of traffic.

"George, is everything okay man?" Kenny asked as he and Wendy shuffled about in the backseat.

"The boss said he wanted you there fast, and it's not a good idea to piss him off," George clipped.

You're talking about right?" Judging by the way he winced at the mere mention of the man's name, Kenny felt he was right on the money. "Why's he so dangerous?"

"Kid," George began as he hit the emergency brake and skidded his car into an intersection only to punch it once the car was aligned with the right lane. "If it wasn't obvious after you met the man, Juhani is a natural born killer. He kills people who either piss him off or fail him, and I intend to do neither," The driver finished as he pushed eighty once he got out of South Park.

"Kenny?" Wendy asked, being forced back into the seat with how fast the car was going.

"Yes Wendy?" The blonde replied, tilting his head so he could lock eyes with her.

Wendy asked pointblank. "Are your bosses at this gaming company dangerous?"

Kenny reached into his parka and pulled out the ring box and slipped the ring on over his gloved finger. "More like intense. Don't worry you'll be fine. Just trust me okay?"

Wendy looked at George who was sweating bullets and then at Kenny who looked completely relaxed by comparison. "Okay, but I'd really like to know what's going on at some point."

Kenny nodded. He understood but his hands were sort of tied at the moment. So he took her hand to comfort her and promised. "I'll do what I can. I signed an NDA and I have a lack of seniority. You know how it is. For now, just hold off until we get there okay?"

Wendy appreciated the kind gesture and she understood his predicament. If he couldn't tell her well, she had her own ways of finding things out. "Okay. Thanks Kenny."

---

They arrived at Abstergo Entertainment in a screech of tire tracks. Kenny pulled the door open and held a hand out for Wendy, who accepted it gratefully. Kenny carried a majority of their bags and was met by Melonie Lemay in the lobby near the elevator. The brunette smiled at him. "Kenny! You made it!" Her smile drifted over to Wendy, "This must be Miss Testaburger, so great to finally meet you dear please follow me, Juhani is waiting for us both in my office."

As they got into the glass elevator Kenny held up the bags, "We brought chinese."

"Thank you Kenny dear." She reached down and patted his head. "Lord knows we could use it. Violett has been up all night working on…" she went silent pursing her lips before saying, "Well, Mr. Berg has something important he wants to talk to you about Kenny."

The immortal boy nodded. "Kay."

Noticing him nervously fidgeting with his ring she smiled. "So you decided to join us after all then! That's great! This'll open up a lot of doors for you Kenny."

Kenny opened his mouth to reply but then the elevator dinged open, they were on the top floor. Juhani met them at the elevator. He smiled. "Kenneth, Miss Testaburger, I'm glad you could finally join us."

In response, Kenny put the bags down, and tried to kick the Finnish mercenary as hard as he could in the nuts. The Templar caught his foot though and used it as leverage to flip him over onto his back. Yet even on the ground with the air knocked out of his lungs Kenny gave Juhani a death glare he usually only reserved for his father after he yelled at Karen. "Listen up Juhani, I don't really care for how you're running things around here, threatening your employees with death if they fail with something as common as a pick up and dropoff is not an acceptable practice with me. It stops, today. I find out you're doing it again, and I'm coming after you hard, and with everything I've got."

"You've got balls poika." Juhani said, looking down on Kenny from his standing position. It was the second time in as many days the boy had surprised him. Most people were cowed into submission by his presence alone but not this boy. It just made him more interesting in his eyes. "Still, even a rat will bite if cornered."

"But rat's don't infinitely respawn after you kill them do they?" Kenny flatly replied as he picked himself up off the floor.

The Mercenary shook his head. "They do not, and that is why I brought you here today, I think. Follow me." As he turned to walk away he muttered in Finnish, "Lapset näinä päivinä."

They all went into Melonie's office where Violett was typing away on a computer. She glanced up when the group entered. "Hey Numbskull, long time no see."

"It hasn't even been twenty-four hours Vi, but good to see you too." Kenny held up the bags. "We brought Chinese."

"Awesome, I'm starved." The security expert replied, by way of thanks.

Kenny just rolled his eyes. It didn't take him long to get used to Violett's personality. "So, what's all this about?"

"Well, after you told us about your… issue, we did a full DNA workup… and we found something odd." Melonie said gently.

"Odd how?" Kenny questioned, feeling a sudden tightness in his chest and an iceberg land in his stomach as his throat constricted.

"What issue Wendy asked, concerned for Kenny's wellbeing. She knew DNA markers for everything from cancer to all manner of medical conditions existed and she was afraid he might have a high chance of catching some rare illness.

"Does she know?" Juhani asked. His eyes flicking to Wendy then back to Kenny.

"No," Kenny replied with a shake of his head. "Nobody can remember the event after it happens."

"What event? What are you all talking about?" Wendy asked, not liking being kept out of the loop, whatever it was.

"I do believe, it would be best we showed you what we've found then have Kenny explain his circumstances to you Miss Testaburger. Violett, if you would?" Juhani said.

"On it." The security specialist hit a couple buttons causing the windows in Melonie's office to go opaque then a projector came to life on her computer flashing against the far wall. The images shown side by side was a double helix of normal human DNA on the left, and something else in the shape of a triple helix on the right.

Melanie took over from there. "This as you both may or may not know, is a normal strand of human DNA, the building block of the human body," Melanie pointed to the normal picture.

The two teens nodded and Wendy piped up "What's that triple helix on the right?"

"I'm getting to that. DNA as I'm sure you know is made up of twenty-three pairs of chromosomes half from the mother and half from the father…" She pointed at the triple helix. "This… this is Kenny's DNA."

"What?! Both teens yelled at the same time.

Melonie nodded "Yes, we were surprised as well. Kenny has a total of sixty-nine chromosomes, one third from his mother, another third from his father, and the final third from something we can't even begin to identify. We've run it through our database and it matches no known species recorded on earth. Yet whatever it is, it meshes with his human DNA perfectly. It's symbiotic in nature and appears to be highly mutable."

Wendy turned to Kenny and asked. "Kenny what are you?"

Kenny took a breath and looked her right in the eye. "Wendy… I'm an immortal. I can die, but I just keep coming back to life the next day, and no I don't know why," He motioned to the screen. "This is the closest I've ever come to even having a semblance of an answer. Foriegn DNA in my system? From something never before seen on the planet? Makes about as much sense as anything else."

"Kenny, you're scaring me. You can't die? Surely we'd remember you dying?" Wendy reasoned.

"You'd think, but no one ever does. It's like memories of me dying gets whited out from people's minds, or psychically erased." Kenny shook his head, he wasn't sure. He turned his gaze back to the image of his DNA. "I don't know the reason, but for the first time ever, I feel like I'm a step closer to figuring it out." Kenny said as he stared at the image of his triple helix.

Wendy stared at Kenny's side profile. He looked so sure, so determined. So resolute. He didn't look crazy. 'What's more, he got these people to believe him.' Wendy looked around at the adults who seemed just as determined as Kenny himself to get to the bottom of this. She then turned to Juhani and asked, "Mr. Juhani, you're not just a part of a videogame development company which itself is a part of a conglomerate are you?"

"We, you tell me Miss Testaburger, what are we?" Juhani said, holding his arms out wide.

Wendy was quick to reply. "Your Templars or the remnants of the Templar Order." she then scrunched her brow, "I thought the Templars were put to death on Friday the 13th, of March 1334? So what is all this and what does it have to do with Kenny?"

"That was the day we stopped acting overtly and took to ground." Juhadi informed her. "The Templar Order has never completely faded out from history; we have as ever been controlling things behind the scenes of history, and we would like for you and Kenneth to join us."

Wendy was almost at a loss for words. "What?"

"It was a bit sooner than we'd intended. Melanie continued, "We weren't intending to approach you until you graduated highschool, but when we found out you were paired with Kenny for a group project well…" She shrugged before pulling out a red ring box. Wendy had a good idea she knew what was inside.

"Everything fell perfectly into place," Juhani finished. "What say you Miss Testaburger, will you join us and affect true change upon the world like you've been wanting for so long?"

"Hold up Mel, Hadi," Kenny said, "Don't go trying to force her into something so quick."

Melonie smiled. "Of course this is a big decision." She placed the small box into Wendy's hands. "You both have things you need to think about."

"Yes, no need to rush I suppose," Juhani grumbled, he was still vexed about the predicament surrounding the boy in front of him. "I think we should eat now, while the food is still warm."

"Agreed," Violett said with a sigh as she fixed her gaze on the bags with the look of a bear that just got out of hibernation.

As the others crowded around the food Juhadi stopped the immortal by putting a hand on his shoulder. "I know it's sudden, but I have a job for you. Call it a final test before you enter the fold proper."

"Where am I going and who am I killing?" Kenny asked in low tones.

"The Amazon Rainforest, there is a man who might've found a Piece of Eden we need you to retrieve it for us." Juhani pressed a flash drive into Kenny's hands. "All the information can be found on this here, which can be opened on your tablet. For now, just enjoy tonight."

"Right, thanks boss." Kenny said pocketing the USB and making his way over to the food, his mind awhirl of thoughts of blood, and knives and what he could be.

---

Word Count: 16,811 Number of Pages: 39 Date Completed: 8/14/2020

---

AN: Greetings fellow readers and writers! Tis us! Bubbajack and Snowy here to entertain you once again! This is a new IP Kenny's Creed. Where Kenny is a direct descendant of Shay Cormac, one of the cooler Assassin's in my honest opinion because he shows that the Assassins are and can be just as bad as the Templars. That neither side is wholly right or wrong, and it's all about perception.

That said, I've got a couple of announcements to make. Firstly, I'm moving to Subscribe Star under the same pen name I use here. I have a $1, $5, and $10 teir. More importantly To ANY AND ALL who may have a pat-reon account! Pat-reon just lost a HUGE lawsuit and under California law, can take money from you to pay their legal fees and reparation money from the lawsuit they lost. Pat-reon is a sinking Titanic at the moment and everyone needs to be going to the lifeboats asap.

Secondly, the following fics of mine are being abandoned and are up for adoption for whomever wants them:

Apex Predator

Edge of a Coin

Iron Body, Glass Heart

Mewni's New Courier

Remnant's Strongest Hunter Jaune

Spark of Madcraft

The Youngest Campione

Wrought in Iron

Wandering Warrior

Waking Nightmare

And last but not least Xander Harris Rogue Trader of the Multiverse.

I think in the future I will do one-shot scenarios and if people ask me to expand upon said oneshot and turn it into a full story or want to do so themselves I will do so or happily give them permission.

Lastly Dragon and the Fly is undergoing a rewrite. I felt the MC was too OP and decided to take him down a different path. First chapter is done and awaiting editing while the second chapter is in the works.

That should about do it for me, anything you wanna add Snowy my man?

Hey guys its Icysnowsage here. I am just here to say that due to problems with as Bubba previously stated we are switching over to subscribe star to better help Bubba with his finances. We are also going to offer earlier viewing of ch.s we make a week ahead of it being released to the public on subscribe star. Any further questions please pm me or bubba about further details. I am really thankful for all our readers' help and appreciate the thought they put into their reviews and helping us. Thanks everyone!

Well said Snowy, that should about do it for the both of us. Well, till next time everyone this has been a Bubbajack and IcySnowSage Production! Peace!