The Doctor made some random grumbling complaint that was more meant to remind Clara that he was still there, and still walking next to her as they wandered around the 51st Century bazaar than as an actual complaint. Clara who was taking the occasional bite out of a flaky pastry and almost completely ignoring him as she took in their surroundings turned to look at him with that little frown that showed that she didn't approve of his complaint regarding the overly warm temperature of the environment under the dome which kept ice and the freezing weather of the Antarctic out. After acknowledging his presence, the young woman turned and something caught her eye.
"Look!" she said as she pointed at a sign. "They're giving away free samples."
"Contrary to what the sign says, they're not free!" he snapped. "It's a trick to lure you in so you'll be forced to buy something from them."
Completely ignoring the trap which would most likely consist of some sort of highly addictive snack that likely came with symptoms of withdrawal if it wasn't consumed regularly, Clara got into the line that had gathered near the booth which was advertising free samples of whatever product was on offer. Sighing, he went and joined her if only to bat her hand away from the snack tray when she reached the head of the line.
As he watched, everyone ahead of him and Clara who weren't the only pair in line was handed a package which was surprisingly large for a free sample before they walked away, meaning that everyone had bought something as soon as they reached the counter. Based on the shape, size, and outer appearance of the packaging, he had the sneaking suspicion that that something was a live animal of some sort. Seeing as he didn't want any animals aboard the TARDIS, and he was sure that Clara didn't have the sort of lifestyle that easily leant one to the proper caretaking of a pet, he attempted to drag the Impossible Girl who was an impossible girl in more ways than one out of the line. Clara would not be deterred however.
Eventually, he and Clara reached the head of the line.
"I'm here for one of the free samples." Clara said when she examined the completely bare counter that was sitting in front of her.
"I have to inform you that free samples will be random." the salesperson said in an almost bored tone. "But, for a small fee, we can fully customize your order to your specifications."
"No, random's fine." Clara replied, apparently realizing what he'd been right about it being a hook to lure her in, but being determined to get the sample of what they were offering nonetheless.
Giving the sort of rude salesperson look that was reserved for people who obviously shouldn't be in the shop or cheapskates who technically fell into the above category, the guy who was manning the counter pulled out a device, jabbed Clara, jabbed him, and then disappeared into the back with it before he could reach over the counter and grab the man who'd just taken a genetic sample from him.
"Your order will take a few minutes before it's ready." the man said, looking as if he was preparing to go into a sales pitch. "Perhaps you would like to look through our cagalogue while you wait?"
"No thank you." he said, still feeling exceedingly unhappy over the theft of his genetic information, which many civilizations would kill to get their hands on. Unfortunately, considering the fact that the bored salesperson hadn't seemed to register the exact value of what he'd just taken, he couldn't make a scene and potentially clue him in if a scanner hadn't done so already.
"Well, surely a gentleman of your...refinement wouldn't allow his baby to go naked and have no place to sleep." the man said.
He froze for a second as he processed the man's statement.
"My what?" he said, barely restraining his urge to strangle someone in case he'd misheard or the TARDIS had mistranslated. Next to him, Clara was looking shocked, though knowing her, that shock was more than likely going to turn into anger very quickly.
The salesperson looked confused for a moment before realization seemingly hit. "Surely you've heard of Williams and Company. We're the finest infant outfitters from here to the Vegas Galaxies. You know, 'When you make a child, make your child a Williams'?"
Seeing their blank looks and apparent non-recognition of the company slogan, the salesperson grew exceedingly amused as if what had just happened was the funniest thing he'd seen all year.
"You do realize that by accepting the offer of a free sample, you have done so at your own risk and the company cannot be held responsible for your dissatisfaction with our product." the salesperson said, looking even more amused, if that were even possible.
He quickly grabbed and restrained Clara before starting to calculate Pi in order to keep himself from strangling the man. After an interminable wait in which he and Clara had purchased nothing, because Clara was too angry to think straight and he was too busy keeping Clara from committing homicide so he himself wouldn't commit homicide, there was a ding, a sarcastic call of "Order up!" and he found a small live animal stasis carrier being thrust under his nose.
Grabbing the package in one hand and Clara in the other, he stormed away from the counter.
"Just so you know, there's no returns on babies!" the salesperson called after him before laughing like a hyena on nitrous oxide. All too soon, the next person in line was laughing at him, and the next, and the next until the story spread to the entire line and they were treated to an entire chorus of laughter as they made their way back to the TARDIS.
As soon as they were in the TARDIS and the TARDIS was safely winging its way through the Time Vortex, he opened the package that was keeping his and Clara's child in stasis in order to see what they'd gotten.
It was a boy. A boy who looked perfectly formed with ten fingers, ten toes, Clara's dark brown hair, a pair of pale blue eyes and a very very cross expression. A quick scan with his sonic screwdriver which he'd added a scanning function to centuries ago revealed that the baby wouldn't be turning into a puddle of goo anytime soon. More medical tests to determine if the baby really was as healthy and viable as he looked would be required though.
"He's got my attack eyebrows." he said once he was done scanning the child, trying to calm down for the sake of the baby who didn't need anger and resentment over his existence swirling around him at the moment.
"He's naked." Clara pointed out.
"I think I have some doll clothes that might fit him somewhere in the wardrobe." he replied, remembering that period during which Barbara and Susan had spent hours upon hours making a little wardrobe for a baby doll.
"Where's he going to sleep?" Clara asked.
"I still have my old cradle." he said, clamping down on that dark memory of the day the infant who wasn't Melody Pond had been laid in it. There had been a time that he'd thought the cradle which was meant for his children and grandchildren would forever remain empty, and then, when Amy had had her baby, he'd been willing to share, willing to accept the child as a member of his own family. That hadn't turned out well however.
Hopefully, this would turn out better. Considering his previous track record with family however, he seriously doubted it.
"I just realized something." Clara said as she reached down into the carrier in order to retrieve her newborn son. "How the hell am I going to explain a baby?"