Ai Hod Yu In
Chapter 37
It didn't take long at all for Clarke to find her way back to her room. Roan walked beside her. She'd left Murphy and Madi there, and she knew that Murphy would protect Madi with everything he had. She didn't even know when she'd come to trust John Murphy of all people this much, but with everything that had recently happened, she knew that she had to hold onto those who she did with everything in her.
"What's going on?" he was lying on her bed, the baby standing on top of him. She smiled to herself a bit as she noticed that he seemed to be making Madi dance a bit. She certainly hadn't thought she'd ever see the day, but John Murphy apparently liked babies. No sooner had she thought that than she realized, with a horrible pang of guilt, that she was smiling in the aftermath of the bloodbath that Ontari had created.
"Come on. You and Madi need to get out of here," she told him, grabbing the things she'd already had packed, "Roan will get you out of here. I need to talk to Titus. Ontari appears to have won the conclave."
"Trust me, you don't wanna talk to Titus. By now, he's on his knees in front of Ontari. No, I'll help the three of you get out of here, and then you'll disappear. I don't particularly care where you go," Roan lead them through the tower as he said that, walking briskly to lead them out of here.
"No. There's no way that Titus would support her. We all saw what she did. He would never support someone who hacked the heads off children while they slept," Clarke spat angrily. She'd seen Madi in each and every one of those kids, but more than that she saw Lexa. Lexa, the woman she loved. Lexa, the woman she lost. Lexa, the woman who'd died in her arms only days ago. The conclave was bad enough, but they should've been safe in their beds. They should have had a fair fight against each other.
"Those children were marked for dead anyways," Roan told her. A horrible thought occurred to her then. Roan may have felt he owed her, he may have simply pitied the poor commander of death. Clarke may never know why he was helping her. But after this, he would go lap at Ontari's heels just like the rest of them.
"You'll support her too," Though it came out as a question, it was more a statement. It made sense. Ontari's command helped Azgeda, helped Roan. What were a few more dead children along the way, especially ones marked to die from birth.
'She's Ice Nation."
"Whatever's best for your people, is that it?" the hypocrisy in that statement was not lost on Clarke, though she didn't particularly want to admit that.
"That's it. Kind of like killing every man, woman, and child in Mount Weather was best for yours."
"That's not a bad point." Murphy muttered, and Clarke glanced back at where he followed only a few steps behind her. The protective way he held her daughter, the way he cradled her against him. Clarke had no doubt that Madi had gained yet another staunch protector in the man who had once been her mother's enemy. Though that felt like a lifetime ago now, she supposed. Murphy had changed so much from that angry kid. Just as she'd changed from the optimistic girl of the past.
They walked in mostly silence for a while still, until finally Roan stopped. He turned to face them, and Clarke knew that this would be goodbye. She knew that this would be the extent of the help he would give.
"Tunnel is through here," he said.
"Okay. Great. Thank you," Murphy responded.
"I saved your life again. My debt to Lexa for sparing mine's now paid. Next time you see me, it won't be as friends," With that final warning, Roan walked off, leaving Clarke, Madi, and Murphy alone.
Clarke watched as he walked off, knowing that things were about to get a lot more complicated. A part of her was tempted to simply run off, to leave the grounders to their politics and simply return to her people. The bigger part of her knew, however, that that would not work out for them. Murphy began to approach her, and she felt her heart break at what she knew she had to do.
"We are not leaving, are we?" he asked.
"You're right. We're not. You are, though. And you're bringing her with you," she told him quietly. She could sense the argument that he was about to have with her, and she shook her head, "I'm trusting you with my everything, Murphy. Someone has to protect our people. As long as Ontari doesn't have the flame, she's not the true commander. I have to make sure that we all will stay safe. But I can't do that while she's here. I can't even breathe while she's here, in danger. And somehow, you've become one of my most trusted friends. She's the reason my world keeps spinning, and right now I have to be in danger, but she can't. So run. Run back to our people, and keep her safe. I'm trusting you with my world, Murphy. Don't let me down. Please."