Blaze 10
"You can study Shakspeare and be quite elite;
You could charm the critics and have nothing to eat;
Just slip on a banana peel, the world's at you feet;
Make em laugh! Make em laugh! Make em laugh!"
Donald O'Connor
The next morning when Tami returned to work, Ibiki had been waiting for her in the hallway. He smirked at her, leaning against his office's doorframe.
"Well, well…. Walker. Come in, we're gonna have a talk." He said darkly.
She realized in that moment how her Uncle returned. He did mention that he met her coworkers. How could she have forgotten?
"Ibiki, you look especially terrifying today." She said lightly as she entered his office.
"Flattery will get you nowhere, Walker." Ibiki said flatly.
She sat down in the chair across from his desk. She leaned back, crossing her legs leisurely as if nothing wrong had happened. Ibiki took his time, closing the door and strolling over to his chair. He didn't look away as he settled. Any humor on his face was gone.
"So your Uncle came through here a few days ago." He began, "when were you gonna tell us your roommate was in the Village?"
Tami fought the urge to flinch, and tried not to fidget.
"My, ah — roommate?" She asked lightly.
"Don't get cute. Davis Maya. She's Jiraiya's daughter." He said in a huff.
So, not only did he know, he knew her cover story. Grand.
"I was protecting a friend from the honesty room."She said coldly.
"You thought I would toss a civilian in the honesty room?" He asked incredulously.
"If it came to it."
Ibiki stared hard at her. He rocked back in his chair, rolling his thumb against his fingers in thought.
"Jiraiya and I had a talk about this before. I spoke with Tsunade later on. Right now, nothings going wrong, it doesn't—"
"I want to meet her." he announced. Before she could speak, Ibiki stood up and went to the door.
"But Tsunade-sama said not to-"
"I found out yesterday. A little late for secrecy where I'm concerned." He said dryly. He held the door open. Tami saw no escape. Reluctantly she agreed . Hopefully Maya would be prepared. At a snail's pace she got to her feet and the two left.
As they stepped out into the street, Ibiki urged her to move faster. The walk there was far too short for her taste. Before long, both she and Ibiki stood at the front door of Jiraiya's home.
When she hesitated to knock, Ibiki did it for her.
"Coming!" Maya called. She answered the door shortly after.
Her big blue eyes went from looking at Tami to Ibiki. Shock registered, and her mouth fell open.
"Oh, uhm." Maya stuttered, shifting from Tami to Ibiki and back again.
"May we come in?" He asked.
"He knows." Tami said in English.
Maya scurried back to let them up. The two entered and the petite young woman stood awkwardly there.
"Uncle Oliver returned." Tami began.
"That's great!" Maya said, shooting a curious glance at Tami's boss.
"Oliver went through the T&I…. One thing led to another, and Ibiki requested to meet you." Tami finished.
"Hello, Maya-chan." Ibiki greeted her politely.
The aforementioned young woman processed this slowly. "Oh… okay. Do you like waffles?"
Tami didn't know what she expected, but it certainly wasn't this, or Ibiki's response.
"Sure."
Tami stared in absolute shock as the two leisurely walked to the kitchen as if it was an everyday occurrence.
"You realize he's the head of the interrogation force." She said as she followed.
"Ohhh, Ibiki-san isn't that bad. He's a teddy bear. In the series he does a lot of good," Maya chirped as she started in on the waffles.
Ibiki raised an eyebrow at her, crossing his arms across his chest.
"A teddy bear?" He repeated.
"Okay, not really. But like, you're not the worst. And, Orochimaru freaked you out and you really liked scaring people but you're pretty nice." Maya said, barely focusing on making the waffles. "Tami, you want one?"
She couldn't even manage to say no in her shock. Maya just shrugged and continued on.
The man that spent her first couple of years in Konoha a living nightmare, was politely talking to Maya of all people. He wasn't trying to scare her or anything.
"Do you like chocolate chips? I like them."
"Sure." Ibiki said.
Tami's jaw nearly fell to the floor, watching the events unfold. One thing after another; was she in the twilight zone? Soon enough they were at the table and both Maya and Ibiki were eating waffles.
"So you know it all."
"I mean, I guess? Like, I know the basics and what would have happened. But like, things changed."
"That so? Like what?"
"Hayate is still alive. And, gosh, little things. Like, uhm…. Tsunade-sama and Jiraiya never really, you know. And, uh… well…." She glanced at Tami and whispered loudly, "does he know about the-?"
"Yeah." Ibiki interrupted before Tami could say anything. He shot her a look. She already knew he was aware of the Itachi ordeal. He had to be let in on it for her to use the interrogation rooms.
"So, uhhhh, no one really knew about Itachi." Maya said.
Ibiki grunted. "So we don't know how that is going to unfold."
"Yeah…. I mean, it's not like we're wanting to cause the village chaos, but Danzo…." Maya bowed her head, focusing on her waffles, "he's not a good man."
Tami, for once, decided not to comment. She instead tried to gain her bearings.
Ibiki grunted, eyeing the petite girl across from him. He put his elbows on his knees, evaluating her.
"Her Uncle wants to return. Are you leaving?" He asked directly.
"Ohh, well, I really would like to stay…." Maya said, shifting uncomfortably. "Tsunade-sama said I could, so…. I wanna."
"And while you're here, are you here to help Konoha?" Ibiki asked.
She paused, staring at the interrogator like he grew a second head. "I… well, yeah. Some of my favorite…."
She stopped talking suddenly and turned her gaze back to her plate of barely eaten food.
Tami knew what she had been about to say. Ibiki could to, she could tell just by the frown that appeared.
"Yeah? What about those other favorite characters? The ones against our village?" He questioned.
It was suddenly clear to Tami why he wanted to meet Maya and why he had been so compliant. The interrogator was at work.
"Erm… well…." Maya squirmed.
"What? Am I not your favorite character?" He pressed.
"Leave it." Tami hissed.
"I mean, it's not really like that." Maya said with uncertainty in her voice.
"Oh. So if a mist nin shows up that you know, who is your favorite, you'll tell them anything?" He carried on.
"No! I mean, I'm already scared about what I already talked about! I don't want anyone to be hurt." She blurted out.
"What does it even matter?" He questioned.
Her mouth dropped open. Instead of stopping like he should have he plowed on, "after all, it's not like we're real to you anyway."
She flinched.
"That's quite enough, Ibiki. She's not up for your mind games!" Tami snapped at him.
"I'm just having a nice conversation, aren't I?"
"You're mean." Maya said, glaring at him.
"I wasn't the one who said I was nice." Ibiki commented.
"Ibiki, you're being incredibly rude." Tami hissed.
"She'll get over it." He said.
"If you don't stop, I'll tell your coworkers your secret." Maya said, scowling at him.
He froze. Tami never had seen the look of both shock and horror that flickered across his face.
"I'll probably start with Inoichi-san. And Tenzo is outside, he could alert the rest of the Anbu."
"You wouldn't-" Ibiki began, eyeing her skeptically.
"My nana always said a lady doesn't start fights, but she better finish them." The young girl stood and collected the plates. "Gosh… I guess one of us should act nicer to the other."
He watched her go, the strangest look of disbelief and shock written across his face.
Tami glanced between the two, "and this secret-?"
She never did learn it. Ibiki all but rushed her out thereafter.
"You say nothing to anyone." He growled at her.
"Mmhmm. Nothing. I won't even ask my dear friend for more information." Tami replied lightly, "for the low price of some common courtesy."
He glared at her, but begrudgingly agreed to her terms.
X
Kakashi stood on the bank, watching Oliver set up a rod for fishing. Having needed to fish to survive when he was young, he couldn't really understand why Oliver wanted to fish. It was a chore; like cleaning dishes. But the older man sat there, a reel in hand and the line pinched between two fingers. He had been tossing back most of his catches, oddly enough.
Not wanting to waste the time (and wanting to get some easy missions done and earn some money), Kakashi had gotten a mission for a nearby restaurant that needed fish.
Instead of sitting, Kakashi awkwardly stood, glancing at the man from the corner of his eye. Once Oliver was comfortable, he pulled out a bottle of beer.
"Don't tell my niece." He commented, and popped the lid open.
"Ahh?"
"She used to raid my cabinets for my alcohol and pour it out."
That… that strangely did sound like something Tami would do.
"I started hiding it in empty boxes on the lower levels." Oliver said around taking his first sip. "Everybody has their crutch…. What's yours?"
The Detective wasn't wasting any time trying to pry into Kakashi's life.
"Oliver-san, a good ninja doesn't have any." He cheerfully deflected.
"And you're a good ninja."
"Yes, " Kakashi said as he pulled out Icha Icha Tactics from his back pocket. He flipped it open to his favorite spot and reread it.
The older man watched, his eyebrows slowly raising.
"Yeah, clearly." He muttered, turning to focus on his rod.
"I'm glad you agree." Kakashi cheerfully said.
The other man scoffed. The two fell into silence. Kakashi would have been fine with it staying that way. He was only there to make life easier on Tami, but even that had its limits. It had been years since someone thought they could comment on the way he chose to live. His Tami didn't. However, someone seemed to want to comment now.
"So how did the perfect ninja and my Tams get together? I've been sitting here trying to figure it out." Oliver asked.
Kakashi fought the urge to sigh. He sent the other man a bright smile.
"Maa, I guess you'll have to ask Tami-chan."
Oliver scoffed again, taking a swig from his beer.
"If you acted like this, you probably drove her nuts." He muttered under his breath.
Kakashi assumed he wasn't meant to hear that. It was true, though. They bumped heads and-.
"Now I got it." Oliver stated.
Wait, what?
"Got what?" Kakashi asked.
The older man didn't answer. He just chuckled, took another deep swig of his drink and cheerfully went back to fishing.
For once, he didn't expect that. The copycat sat there wondering what the Detective saw.
'Tami-chan would tell me.' He pouted, going back to his book. He never realized how lucky he had been. If Tami had been like Oliver, she would have driven him nuts. It had been bad enough with her vague comments about her past and who she was.
When Kakashi finally started to relax around the other man, of course things changed. He had just caught his fourth fish when Gai found them.
"My rival!" Gai called, leaping onto the river.
"Hello Gai." Kakashi greeted dully.
"I challenge you to a contest!"
"I'm busy." He raised his fishing rod to prove his point.
"Could you stop yelling, you'll scare the fish." Oliver complained.
Kakashi watched as Gai realized what the two had been doing. The Green Beast walked purposefully over to Kakashi and stood by him.
"Who is he? I don't think I recognize him." Gai asked.
"He's Tami-chan's Uncle." Kakashi provided.
"Oh! That is wonderful! The power of springtime youth has seen Tami-chan be reunited with her family! What a glorious occasion!" Gai announced.
It was times like this that Kakashi wondered if he'd never mellow out. Maybe someday. Maybe not.
"Are you on drugs?" Oliver asked suddenly, staring at Gai as if he wanted to put him in a mental hospital.
"What?" Gai asked.
"Oliver-san, you're so funny." Kakashi remarked, trying to not get angry at the man. Gai was odd, but he was who he was.
"Kakashi! You can't laugh at him!" Gai cried out suddenly. The silver haired man turned to his friend, trying to figure him out
"What?"
"If it's crack, I don't want to know." Oliver added from the sidelines.
It was at that time that Kakashi regretted agreeing to the fishing trip.
X
After work, Tami made a quick stop to see the Hokage. She easily entered, waiting for the busy woman to notice her.
"Can I help you?" Tsunade asked, not bothering to look up at her.
"I wanted to let you know the Akatsuki acquired a jinchuuriki yesterday. I would have come in sooner, but-."
"Nothing could be done anyways. You and Gai-kun told the important people." The Hokage waved her hand, dismissing the concern. For just that second, Tami breathed a sigh of relief.
"It had me thinking; Taki may have taken extra procedures if they had known. They may not have the spies we have."
"And I'm glad they don't. It keeps them off our doorstep."
"Nothing good will come if they get all the jinchuuriki. Naruto and Gaara aside, we've no idea if the others are rightly protected. Only idiots or enemy villages go after jinchuuriki. Not groups of mercenaries. The two that came after Fu were… they were nightmarish." Tami reasoned.
"Fine. I'll send an Anbu to let them know. There's only three villages to notify." Tsunade agreed flatly. "Are we done?"
"Ah.. well…." Tami shifted. This is where she knew she'd have a fight. This was her one chance to see Kumo. That village had two jinchuuriki that she knew of. She'd have to go there. Plus, the ninja who had taken her were missing nin from that village. She always wondered who could be there. Where did the missing nin have the idea that there was another world that knew secrets from their own?
"You want to tell them, don't you?"
"I would like to, yes."
Kumo had two jinchuuriki. She'd have to go there. She must.
"You're not a Jounin yet. You'd need an escort and we're short enough as it is."
"Well, I know two-"
"Two? Why would you need two?"
Tami refused to explain, taking the moment to try to figure out her best approach. She and Gai had horrible luck getting Kakashi to laugh. Maybe together they could get a chuckle out of him. Certainly they would think of something.
"You're not teaming up with Kakashi. I can barely believe Sarutobi-sensei allowed it." Tsunade said firmly.
"I'll do your paperwork for a whole day." Tami offered.
The Hokage paused, laughed, and grinned back at her wolfishly. "Oh? How about a week?"
"Three days."
"Five."
"Four and I'll organize the piles."
Tsunade made a show of sitting back in her chair. She hummed to herself, crossing her arms.
"You got a deal. But after this, you two aren't on the same team anymore."
A high price; Naruto would be disappointed. His dreams of her ending up in Team 7 were just put to an end right there. Although, she nearly would bet he'd be satisfied with simply exchanging his sensei out.
"Agreed."
"So who's the other Jounin?"
"Gai. We've a competition."
His students hadn't qualified; he should be free to go with her. At least she hoped. It was a nonsense mission. She hoped both men would humor her
Tsunade just stared, "I don't want to know. Just remember to keep this mission short. Your target leaves in two weeks. I want this taken care of before then."
"I certainly will…. Thank you."
Without much else, Tami left. She walked out the door and down the stairs. Her first step was to find Gai. He would be the easiest of the two to convince. She couldn't find him in his usual spots. He wasn't training, he wasn't jogging around the village, and she couldn't even find him with his team. It wasn't until she went by the Uchiha compound that she found him. There stood Gai, talking with her Uncle. Oliver had a glazed look in his eyes and a series of manilla folders. The moment Tami came into view, Gai shouted to her, waving an arm.
"Tami-chan!" He greeted enthusiastically as she came over, "I see your Uncle found you! We've been talking. He's opening the Police Force for the Hokage."
"Oh? Do tell." Tami said, stopping when she got close. Her Uncle gave her a withering look. "I see you're getting along well."
Gai nearly sparkled once more.
"Yes! I've been letting him know about what he may have missed about you."
"Ahh." Tami glanced at Oliver. Irritation sat heavily on his shoulders. It might have been time to lead Gai away. "By the by, I've a favor to ask… if you'd please?"
The relief on her Uncle's face was palpable as Gai said, "yes! Of course!"
The two parted ways away from Oliver.
"So, I've a mission I'd like some help with." Tami said, "and hopefully we can complete our competition. I assume he hasn't laughed yet?"
"No. He hasn't." Gai admitted.
"Mm. I see. I've permission from the Hokage for us three to go on a mission. I'm thinking we try our best…. If not, we can always team up." She explained.
"How long?"
"Not too long. At most a week. Can you-?"
"I can." Gai agreed readily.
She grinned at him, "Then the game is afoot."
"Yes! We will race against the other to win!" Gai cheered.
'Race?' Tami wondered for a moment, "of course, we'll meet up tomorrow. Now, to convince Kakashi."
Gai nodded. With their plan formed, Tami left to find her Darling. He was easier to find. He was lounging in a tree, his favored Icha Icha paradise in hand. She climbed the tree, peeking over at him.
"I've news." Tami told him.
"Oh?" He asked, not bothering to look up at her.
"Well, I thought we could make up for our disaster of a last mission. I've a case from Tsunade-sama."
"I wouldn't call it a disaster."
"Mmm, agree to disagree. I figured we could go - Gai too."
"Gai?" He questioned looking up, "why Gai?"
"Thought it might be fun. Keep us respectful."
"You don't think I can be respectful?" He asked dryly.
"Oh, I was speaking about me. But if you think you can't keep your hands to yourself…." Tami teased with a playful wink. No humored look, or amused twinkle in his eye. If nothing else, he seemed annoyed.
"Would you like to be left alone?"
"Maa," he grumbled, "I'm fine."
The stress in his shoulders said differently. Had something happened while she wasn't there?
"Come. I've told Gai we'll start tomorrow morning." She said, tugging on his sleeve. He sighed loudly, but complied. When he noticed she was leading him to her apartment, he scowled.
Did he-? Was he upset with her?
Ah. Uncle
They must not be getting along, she figured.
"Uncle is still at the Police building." Tami explained. Some of the stress drained from his shoulders. Thankfully she was able to ease the rest of it when they arrived at her place. She gave him a shoulder massage in the dining room. It took a little longer than usual. She'd have to remember to help him more. It didn't take long before the two were reclined on the couch. His head in her lap, while he lay haphazardly across the couch. They had been talking about their later plans, but the moment she began playing with his hair he almost instantly fell asleep. Knowing he had trouble sleeping, she didn't dare move. Of course, this would be when her Uncle returned.
"Really?" He asked in English when he walked in.
"Shh, he's asleep." Tami murmured.
"Yeah? I'd like to, too." Oliver complained, although he kept his voice down.
"Take my bed. I'm not moving."
He grunted. He stood there in the middle of the living room eyeing her. He shifted, rubbing his hands and squeezing them in thought.
"You're serious about this one." He said. He at least spoke quietly, so she didn't mind. Her Darling needed the rest.
"I thought I already said I was."
"Yeah… well… didn't think you meant it…."
He stopped for a second, "We went fishing today. He's not the worst you could have gone with."
"I'm glad you approve."
"I wouldn't go that far. He's still a punk."
"Mm…"
"Well.. I'm gonna…." He rocked in his heels, pointing to the door with his thumb. He never was good with words when it came to genuine emotion. Tami fought the giggle that threatened to escape.
"Good night Uncle."
Oliver shuffled from the room, barely glancing back. After he left, she noticed that her Darling's breathing changed. He must have awoken some time when her Uncle arrived. The fact that he didn't grumble about not understanding them, she figured he hadn't been up for long.
"Sorry." He said groggily.
"Don't be."
"I should probably go… get ready for the mission tomorrow."
Kakashi carefully got up, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His gaze darted up to meet hers before glancing away. Was it just her imagination or was he blushing? What little skin exposed behind his mask was a soft patch of pink. The uptick in the corner of his eyes at least told her he was pleased.
"Shall we expect you on time?" She teased and he scoffed lightly.
"Maa, I'll be there." He said, his voice warm and thick with an unnamed emotion. Hesitantly, he knelt down beside her. He pulled her in gently. Most of their kisses had been quick or caught while dodging prying eyes. She couldn't say what brought this one on, but the thorough and deep kiss made her toes curl. His hand lost in her hair, cradling her head, and his mouth exploring hers. His other hand traced her side, drawing her deeper. She nearly lost herself by the time he pulled away.
She expected a mischievous expression or a smirk of some kind. She got neither. He instead focused solely on her, his breathing hitched and that unnamed emotion still dancing in his eye. He hadn't even bothered to pull his mask back up. Tami couldn't name what had just happened between them, but she could feel the shift.
"What was that about?" She asked.
The subtle blush on his face flared brighter and he turned away. Even after he put his mask back in place, he didn't look back.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He said before leaving.
'What an odd man,' She wondered. She would have continued the thought, but Oliver returned.
"Tams, do you got- oh. He's gone?"
"He left a moment ago." She said; she nearly had forgotten he was still there.
"Great. Now git. Go to your room, Tams." He ordered.
For the moment, Tami set aside the mystery that was Kakashi, and stared her Uncle down.
"I'm not fifteen, Uncle."
"Yeah, well, I'm not taking your room. Go on!"
This time she won the argument and stayed on the couch. Her Uncle begrudgingly went to her room, complaining that she better not leave for that punk in the middle of the night. She wondered if he'd ever realize she wasn't a teenager anymore.
The next morning, after telling her Uncle that she would be away, he stared her down from across the table.
"Aren't in the field, eh?" He scoffed.
"I'm going with two Jounin, and it's just a basic mission to give some warnings to the other villages. That's all."
"Two Jounin. Aren't they the highest rank under the Kage? How'd you manage that for just a simple mission?"
"I made a deal," she said. When he didn't believe her she added, "Tsunade-sama hates paperwork."
Oliver grunted, not entirely believing her but he didn't stop her. Soon after she pulled on the fashion faux pas jacket. She pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaving to meet up with Gai and Kakashi.
Gai had been there, the two meeting at the designated location. His backpack strapped to his back, and a grin on his face that told her he was ready for anything.
"Well? Are you prepared?" She asked with a smile.
"Yosh!" He exclaimed, "for anything!"
"May the best competitor win."
The cheer that came from Gai set her mood well and high. That was, until Kakashi came. He was about fifteen minutes behind, but Tami barely noticed while planning with Gai. The intense expression from the night before was gone, replaced with boredom and a copy of Icha Icha Paradise.
Once again, Tami recalled their decision; on missions it was business only. She'd honor it, of course.
"Ready?" He asked dully. His gaze barely flicked up to look at them.
"As always," Tami said.
"Let's go!" Gai shouted, and the trio left. "Tami-chan and I were talking: Iwa first, then Kumo and Kiri is the plan."
Kumo had two jinchuuriki; as did Kiri, according to Konoha notes. Iwa only had one.
"We'd be able to circle back home rather easily." Tami added.
"Okay." Kakashi agreed easily.
And the three were off. Kakashi was nearly about to run, but Tami interrupted.
"It's such a beautiful day," she began, glancing at Gai to back her up, "we should enjoy it."
"Yes! I agree!" The Green Beast added. "A lively jog would be better!"
The disbelieving look they both earned made Tami realize he wasn't completely unaware of their shenanigans. He'd probably make it harder for them if he knew.
"A lively jog it is." Tami said lightly. She had hoped for an easy walk, but Gai had other plans.
The three left, jogging toward their first destination. Iwa.
They stopped midday for lunch at a lovely little booth on the edge of Fire Country. It was a small wooden structure, with a few tables scattered around.
The second Kakashi left to order, Tami pulled Gai aside.
"How can we make him laugh if we're jogging?" She asked.
"Exercise always makes me laugh." He said.
Her mouth slowly fell open. He had been trying to get Kakashi to work out to laugh?
"Please tell me you've at least said a joke." She begged. Maybe she hadn't been doing her best, but still! Working out?
Before Gai could answer, Kakashi returned.
"What are you two-?" He stopped, glancing between the two ninja.
Tami sent him an easy smile while Gai laughed nervously.
"We're doing nothing at all!" He said.
"I'm asking Gai about my Darling; I wanted to get him something special." She said lightly.
"You wanted to get me-"
"Ah, no. My Darling." She said, pulling back and folding her arms. "We've terms. He wanted our professional and personal life strictly separate."
"Oh! Yes! Just as Tami-chan said." Gai agreed.
Kakashi shot them both looks and sat down. "Then you wouldn't mind me knowing." He said.
"Mum's the word." Tami said, to which Gai easily agreed.
"But you said-" Kakashi tried.
"Can't say, sworn to secrecy." She said.
"To the death." Gai added.
The suspicion in Kakashi's narrow gaze made her want to squirm. So she popped up, and went to get her own food. All throughout lunch, he watched her like a hawk.
Soon enough the three were off. Tami had convinced them to walk, but with how suspicious and on guard Kakashi was they couldn't do much.
If she started telling jokes, he'd know. So when they found an inn for the night, the second Tami could, she sought out Gai. He and Kakashi were sharing a room, while she had her own. She snuck out her window, climbing over to theirs. Peeking in, Kakashi seemed to be in the bathroom, while Gai was sitting on the bed closest to the window. She knocked on the window glass, gaining Gai's attention. She pointed to her own room. He nodded - instead of walking to her room, he climbed out the window too.
'Well, I suppose that works too.' She figured, and she motioned for him to follow her over.
After they both climbed in, Tami tried to gather her thoughts.
"If we continue this way, he's going to catch on." She said.
"Yes, I agree. If he hasn't already." He said, crossing his arms and nodding.
"We can't just tell jokes and expect him to not catch on. He's too…. He's too in control for that to work."
"Why's that?"
She stopped, pulling up everything she was taught on comedy in how little it came into her career on the stage.
"Surprise and delivery." She said lightly, "we have to outwit a genius."
Gai's face fell. "I don't think we can do that."
"No… no, but we can use his genius against him. Use double meanings."
"Puns?"
"Puns didn't work. Maybe… maybe we play a long game."
"A long pun?"
"Oh that, wouldn't-" she paused. "Well…."
Gai watched on, not saying a word. Tami shifted, pacing the floor in thought. Kakashi seemed to her to be a classic sort. He wouldn't care for anything too brass. Subtly would be key. And fooling expectations.
"What would you say to teaming up?" She asked.
"Then it's not a competition." He replied.
"No. But I think we're both willing to take the loss for something better."
Gai nodded, "I think so too."
"How good are you at memorizing information?"
He grinned, "I can!"
"Right then. We've not much time. I'll give you a script. I've an idea. But I need to tweak it."
"Yosh! We will-"
A knock at the door alerted them both that their other team member was still a concern. If he found out, they'd never reach their goal.
Tami waved Gai away and hissed, "get back to your room!"
She went to the door as Gai stealthily snuck out the window.
She cracked open the door, and there was the subject of their concern. She never would know how he could communicate both ire and exhaustion with only one eye exposed.
"What are you doing?" Kakashi questioned her flatly.
"I don't know what you mean." She said with a tilt of her head.
"You and Gai are up to something. You've been up to something."
"Oh? You think so?" She countered.
Frustration built in his gaze. With disappointment, she saw it move to his shoulders. And she had worked so hard to get him relaxed too!
"Gai has been talking about the joy of working out for at least a week. What are you two trying to do?" He asked straight out.
"Well, I've no idea why you're so pressed about my personal life, I mean truly!" She huffed. She had to give him something. She didn't have it in her to outright lie to him. Not anymore. "Gai and I have just been trying to look out for someone close to us both."
Kakashi paused, the suspicion on his face eased.
"So it's just been…." He murmured and pulled away.
"Now, if you don't mind - the tub is calling my name."
"Oh… oh, yes. Of course." Kakashi left quietly, the concerns he had before were gone.
That night, Tami made sure she had a nice bath. After all, informing Iwa would be the next day. And she'd hopefully get to touch base with Gai. She took the time to plan what she and Gai would do.
There was a comedy skit that was a favorite of hers. It was older, famous even. She would have to tweak it, to make it work for their purposes.
She wrote it down, and highlighted Gai's parts. And, of course, she made a duplicate for herself.
The next morning, Tami snuck Gai the paper before she could be spotted. He folded it up and put it in one of his many pockets. Soon after the three were off.
It was the first time she saw Iwa. Deep in the rocky terrain, the village sat protected by the land itself. Carved out of the rocks themselves, Iwa stood proud and tall.
While they were able to notify the village, their warning fell on deaf ears.
No one cared that the Akatsuki were after the Jinchuuriki. The three were begrudgingly shown to the Kage under armed guard. The Tsuchikage was an old man with a red nose, as well as an impressive but intimidating beard.
"I'm here on behalf of Konohakagure-" she began but he swiftly interrupted.
"I can see child, I'm well aware of what village you're from!" He exclaimed.
Tami paused and the Tsuchikage, Onoki scowled at her.
"Well, get on with it already!" He snapped.
"Certainly, I'm just trying to figure out the best way to tell you-"
"I told the LAST shinobi you sent that I didn't want any part of your exams. We're busy."
"The preliminaries are done. That isn't the issue." Tami said patiently. The old man was beginning to grate on her nerves.
"Then why are you here?" Onoki demanded.
"It has come to our attention that a team of missing nin calling themselves the Akatsuki are hunting down the jinchuuriki and capturing them." Tami explained.
"And how is it our problem that the other villages can't stop a few fleas?"
She could feel both Gai and Kakashi stiffen behind her. The urge to snap back at the man was growing by the second. However, another Fu could very well live in Iwa. she forced a bright smile.
"But of course, Tsuchikage-sama. How foolish of me. Thank you for entertaining us. I see any concern was misplaced. We'll see ourselves out." She said with a bright smile. The old man scoffed and went back to his work. The trio left immediately after. On their way out, tailed by their guard, a man in red armor stopped them.
"You said the jinchuuriki are in trouble?" He asked.
"Mm. They took a little girl from Taki." She explained.
"The seven tails." He muttered.
"A child. They took and killed a child. She never even reached her Chunin rank." She insisted.
Kakashi stepped between them and placed his hand on her arm.
"We're just here to issue an alert." Kakashi said, warning them both.
The Iwa nin in red armor stepped back and nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. It's a dangerous life to be a jinchuuriki."
Gai and Kakashi kept her between them as they left. She couldn't say why, but she didn't let it bother her. However the reactions from the village did. Naruto wasn't the only one who had struggles. Clearly whoever the jinchuuriki of Iwa was did as well.
Tami tried not to leave disappointed. There were potentially other little Naruto's going around, uncared for and earning the ire of their village. They weren't cared for in life, and only with their death that people wanted to use them.
X
Maya had spent the morning going out and enjoying the day. Everyone was either busy or away. Wanting to get some friends, she had spent some time out in the village. She didn't really run into anyone, but maybe someday. She went home, planning on making some pasta from scratch (maybe she could get Tsunade and Shizune to come over!). Elbows deep in flour, kneading the dough, she focused on the work before her. Movement from the corner of her eye caused her to look up. She jumped, nearly out of her own skin until she realized it was Tenzo. He knelt in the frame of the window.
"Oh! Hello!" She greeted.
He didn't say anything immediately. He climbed in, hopping off of the counter.
"Did you want some? I thought Shizune-san and Tsunade-sama might like it." She asked.
"Is it true?" He asked.
"Uh, well - I mean, it's just pasta."
"You know my name. You're not supposed to know that." He said, and then added after, "the talk you had with Ibiki-san…."
Maya averted her eyes, focusing back on the pasta.
"You know the future?"
"Ahhh.. well…." She looked away, and nervously laughed. Tsunade was going to be so mad at her! "Would you look at that! I forgot the oregano. Nan would have my head!"
She tried to scurry out the door, but he easily slid in the way.
"Hey! No! No spooky ninja moves!" She exclaimed.
"Is it true?"
"I mean…. Tsunade-sama said I can't really…." Maya drifted off.
Bear nodded, pulling back. "So it's true then."
She smiled nervously.
"That's why you've been so friendly." He mused out loud. "I'm just a character to you. I'm entertainment."
The disinterested, offhanded way he said that caught her off guard. She couldn't tell what he thought about it. Was he insulted? Angry? Displeased? Annoyed? It wasn't like she could change the way she thought! This world had been on the other side of a TV screen for so long, it barely felt real to her! He turned around, and headed for the window.
"I mean, did you want to stay? I could make you something." She offered.
He didn't stop. He kept on moving, jumping into the counter and out the window so smoothly a leopard would get jealous.
Maya fiddled with her fingers, wondering what Tenzo thought of her.
Did he hate her?
Kakashi didn't mind.
But he also didn't care one way or the other about her. She was a convenient source of information for him.
Nobody else minded…. But then again, most ninja were seen as tools for their villages. What was worse? Being a tool for someone else? Or entertainment.
She didn't know what to do. She absentmindedly continued to work.
She really didn't think much about it. The world of Naruto had been her Haven from the real world for a long time. There weren't angry drunks throwing bottles at her. Nobody cursed at her, and no matter what happened everything worked out.
Maybe Ibiki had been right, even if he was a little mean about it.
Everyone was just a character to her. That wasn't fair to them. And how could she make friends if she saw them as just characters in a story?
She had to change. She'd have to see them all as more.
Nana always told her to start small. So she would.
X
Thankfully tami's sour mood didn't stay. The trio were headed to the next hotel between their destinations. However the two were as odd as always.
Tami watched in amazed horror as both Kakashi and Gai participated in an hour-long discussion about how many chickens it would take to kill a Tailed Beast.
Gai had spent the first ten minutes questioning prep time and training. Kakashi argued that the sheer amount of chickens could hopefully overwhelm at least Shukaku.
"It doesn't matter how many! It's the training." Gai insisted.
"You haven't tried training Naruto." Kakashi countered.
Tami's eyebrows raised slowly, "Naruto is relevant to Chickens, how?"
The masked Shinobi froze, glancing back at her. He gave her an amazing impression of a deer in headlights.
"I think Kakashi means that Naruto's fighting spirit is very…. Overwhelming!" Gai tried.
Tami hummed, and sped up to walk in front of them both.
"Tami-chan, I just meant he is a little much to deal with." Kakashi said weakly.
"Like a chicken." She replied, looking back at them over her shoulder. He pouted at her, and Gai laughed nervously.
"A-ah, Tami-chan. Tami-chan?" The nervousness in Kakashi's voice built.
"Mm?" She glanced over to him.
He didn't answer, but Gai, being the excellent wing man, quickly jumped to his rescue, "Kakashi really didn't mean anything by it."
She let the two suffer for only a moment before grinning at them, "I'm aware. But best believe I don't take kindly to smack talk against my own."
It eased their fears. Gai suddenly spoke up with, "am I included?"
"Gai, if anyone dares to speak poorly against you, I'll not have it." She flicked her head at Kakashi, "I certainly won't be the only one."
She remembered Kakashi quickly going to his friend's defense years ago over a misunderstanding. She knew if it came down to it, they both would defend Gai.
The Green Beast suffered from some misty eyes and sniffling. "You guys!"
It clearly touched Gai. If nothing else happened and their plan flopped she was glad Gai knew where he stood with them.
Later that night at another hotel on the way to Kumo, the three had chosen a hotel. As soon as she could, she and Gai met up in her room. The two went over the script, practicing for as long as they dared. Gai took to acting like a fish to water. After teaching him how to temper his over-reactions, it was smooth sailing. The two promised to practice more before they would finally perform the piece.
"After Kumo?" Tami asked. Gai nodded.
"We can use Kumo in our act."
"Mmm. We could."
And so their plan was made. Tami tried to not put any expectations on going to Kumo. For all she knew, there was nothing more to her mystery.
Nothing else to be seen. The village was high in the mountains. Much like Iwa, the village was a part of the landscape. She hadn't seen many cloud ninja. They were a unique mix of tanned shinobi and lighter toned ninja. It had been the first place she had been that felt even remotely like her own world — with the blend of different people and faces. The one of the guards that walked them to the Hokage was named Karai. He kept shooting angry looks over his shoulder at them.
Once again, it took everything in Tami not to say something to him. She could see Kakashi watching her from the corner of his eye. Did he think she was silly enough to say something here? She couldn't quite blame him. She nearly wanted to say something.
The Raikage was a stern looking man; he looked like he was fueled by rage and bitterness alone. Another man stood at the Kage's right side. Both men stared hard at the trio.
"What do you want?" A, the Kage growled.
"I'm here to just share a concern. We received intel in Konoha that the Akatsuki are out to collect the jinchuriki. I thought it best to make the village Kages aware."
"That's all?" He growled.
Tami took a moment to compose herself and Gai jumped in.
"The Akatsuki were a formidable opponent. Our only mission is for the villages to be prepared." He added.
"We don't need your charity." Karai muttered.
"Thank you for seeing us. That's all we had." Tami said brightly. As she went to leave, that was when she noticed it. A blown glass paperweight on the Kage's looked familiar. Painfully, in fact. She stared at it for a moment before being ushered out. It made her think of her friend Luanna. With that realization, homesickness hit her once more. She missed her dear friend. It had been some time since she thought of her. Tami hoped Luanna was doing well.
But, as always, the show had to go on. They left Kumo (the ninja still looked at them sideways). She had been foolish to think she'd learn anything at the hidden village. The trio left, and headed out of town to find another hotel. They stopped somewhere along the way to eat. At the diner they found, Gai sent her a look; the look.
Their plot began.
"Kumo was rather different, wouldn't you say Gai?" Tami commented
"Yes! The Shinobi had some odd names."
"Oh? Like what?"
"Well, the guards. Did you catch their names? Who was on the first watch. What's on second watch, and then I don't know the third." Gai said with such a straight face she nearly wanted to pat him on the back.
"That's what you're supposed to tell me." Tami replied, confusion on her brow. The curious look they both earned from Kakashi had them both know he was paying attention. Both of them ignored him, and focused on their plot. Gai had the markings of a fine actor.
"I did."
"Did what?"
"Yes! On second." Gai nodded.
"Who?" Tami asked, her tone turning to frustration
"No, he's on the first watch."
"Who is?"
"Who."
"Who what?"
"They don't work together."
From the corner of her eye she could see realization slowly overtake Kakashi.
Tami stared hard at Gai. "The name of the first guard?"
"Who."
"The guard?"
"Who. Who is the guard."
"I don't know."
"No, he's the third guard."
"That's the third guard?"
"Oh, I heard he's on the fourth watch." Gai said simply.
"What?" She hissed at him. Frustration built in her frame. She leered at her friend.
"He's on second."
"Who?"
"No, who's on first."
"Who is?"
"Yes."
"Who?"
"Yes, who's on first."
"That's what I'm trying to know!"
"No, That's on fourth watch."
It was then the two noticed Kakashi was gone. The two shared a look and went to find him. They couldn't find him anywhere until they looked outside behind the restaurant. There Kakashi stood, doubled over, leaning against the wall for support. His back was to them, and for the second he was lost in his own laughter. Both of them could hear his chortles, as he tried desperately to control himself. Tami nearly had to bite her tongue. She pulled a grinning Gai away.
"We did it!" He exclaimed under his breath when they returned to their table.
"We certainly did." She said gleefully. "Marvelous skill there."
"Thank you! And you as well!"
Kakashi eventually returned, giggling to himself. Although he hid his face in his book to pretend nothing was up. Neither Tami or Gai commented on it, though they both shared a look and a grin. When the three reached their hotel, Tami had headed to her room but Kakashi snatched her wrist.
"Did you two…?" He asked, eyeing her curiously.
"Do what?" She countered innocently.
He stopped. His brow furrowed before he backed away.
"Ah. Never mind, Tami-chan. Good night." He said. With one last look at her he turned around and went back to his room.
"Good night." She called after him. The next day they would be heading for Kiri. The village she was least wanting to see. The village had a certain reputation. Surely if no one else cared, Kiri would care the least.
AN: so if you don't know, the skit Tami and Gai used is a famous one called "who's on first" by Abbot and Costello. If you haven't had the chance, and need a laugh - give it a listen. It's great! I've had this scene bouncing around my head since last year and I'm so glad I could use it.
I hope you all are doing well, and will try to update when I can. I have plans to start writing my original story soon, so at some point in the future this may take the back burner. But I want to complete it :)
If you're American, Happy Independence Day! If you're not, I hope you're having a great day anyways :)
Until next time!