Chapter 19 – Struggling

Bella

Don't get me wrong, I wanted my life back, but the longer I spent in Edward's, the more comfortable I became. It wasn't easy, by any means, but that was part of the appeal. Compared to living in his world, I could honestly say I had never been challenged a day in my life prior to the switch. Despite the occasional superficial drama, my entire existence as Bella Swan had been lackluster and monotonous. I never even knew just how lonely I had been. Being forced to walk in Edward's shoes, and be surrounded by people who actually gave a shit about me, was making a huge impact. As crazy as it sounded, deep down there was a part of me that wanted to stay in his life forever.

When he fell asleep next to me at the pool house, I spent some time just staring at him... at me. My body, lying next to his was so surreal. It wasn't our first sleepover, but my perception of everything was changing so quickly that it was hard to keep track of just how I was feeling. His hand in mine, my hand in his. They were both our hands, and they were linked together in a way that made it feel irrevocable. Like it was meant to be. Like the entire world could crumble outside that room and everything would be okay. Like, it didn't matter what bodies we were in, as long as we were together.

I never believed in the idea that attraction could grow – that someone's soul could shine through even the roughest exteriors. But, when I looked at Edward, wearing my face, all I saw was him. His light was so strong that it blinded me from even noticing my dull features looking back at me. Then again, when I looked in the mirror, I still saw him as well. His perfect features and strong frame. Maybe I was becoming slightly obsessed with him and saw him in everything. Maybe I was just going stark raving mad.

By the next morning, I knew Edward would have to face the wrath of my father for his absence, but selfishly, I wasn't ready to let him go just yet. Who knew how long it would be before my dad let him back out, so I was going to hang onto him for as long as possible.

"Well, good morning there, you two," Mom said, as Edward and I went into the little kitchen looking for breakfast. "I didn't realize Bella had stayed the night."

"Yeah, well my…"

Edward stopped me from speaking by placing his hand on my shoulder. "My dad is away for the weekend, so I didn't want to be home alone," he told her.

"Well, that's perfect. I'd love to spend a little time getting to know you better," Mom told him. "It's not everyday a girl comes around that steals my baby's heart so completely."

Edward visibly grimaced, but thankfully, she didn't notice.

"We have cereal and frozen waffles," Mom then told us excitedly. "Dr. Cullen uses a shopping service, and he told me to add whatever we need into the list. Isn't that incredible? I feel like we finally woke up from a horrible nightmare."

"It's pretty amazing," I agreed.

"Almost too good to be true," Edward grumbled.

"Why would you think that?" Mom asked him, looking sad, like she knew he was about to pull the rug out from under her feet.

"Well, I just mean, what kind of guy just invites strangers to live with him to take care of his kid?" Edward asked. "Seems odd."

"You know, I asked him about that the other day," Mom said, becoming excited again. "He told me that he knows it looks bad, but he was kind of desperate. Good help is so hard to find around here. Besides, he said a recommendation from Alice must mean we are trustworthy. He thinks very highly of her family."

"Still weird. I mean, did he even ask your qualifications or for any other references?" Edward questioned. "Background check?"

"No, he is just a very sweet, trusting human. I really like him. You know, he adopted both of his kids with his ex-wife, and when she said she didn't want them anymore, he divorced her."

"Wow," I said, impressed.

Edward, on the other hand, just became more suspicious. "Sounds like he is up to something. Who would choose a couple of random kids over his wife? He probably sells pictures of them on the black market or something. He has to pay for this place somehow."

"He is a neurosurgeon," I told him evenly. "I'm sure he is good financially."

Suddenly, there was a light knock on the door, making me jump. Did my dad find us somehow? My heart raced, and not in a good way.

"I wonder who that could be," Mom mused as she went to answer the door.

"Good morning," a deep voice said. His face was just out of my line of sight, but I had a good idea as to who it was, and I relaxed.

"Well, good morning to you, Emmett. What can I do for you?" Mom asked him.

"My dad wanted me to come out here and invite you to breakfast," he said, peeking his head inside and seeing me and Edward standing in the kitchen. "Uh, all of you. He has a chef come in every Saturday to cook for us. Belgium waffles and omelets and such. Made to order."

"Well, that sounds heavenly. We would love to come," she told him. "We will be in there in a few minutes. Just need to make ourselves presentable."

"Sure. See you inside."

"I should probably be heading home," Edward said, clearly not wanting to go in to eat with the Cullens.

"Oh, I thought you said you were going to be alone for the weekend," Mom asked him.

"Yeah, but… I don't want to… eat," he said, unable to come up with a better excuse to get out of it.

"We all need to eat," I told him quietly while taking his hand. "Stay."

He considered it, and even though he clearly didn't want to, he sighed and agreed.

"Welcome. Please, sit. Make yourselves at home," Dr. Cullen greeted us as we entered the main house dining room.

"Thank you so much for this lovely invite," Mom cooed. She was all smiles and giggly flirtation. As a girl who was often silly with giddiness around crushes myself, it was easy to decipher her behavior. She was definitely going to make a move on the good ol' doc. Perhaps she was smarter than I had previously given her credit for. "I still can't get over how beautiful your home is," she added.

"Well, we are happy to have you here," he replied with a warm smile. Doctor Cullen was definitely a catch. If only Mom could be so lucky to nab him, all of her's and Edward's problems would be gone. Jimmy who?

"Edward, won't you introduce us to your friend?" Dr. Cullen said after a minute.

"Yeah, sorry. This is Bella Swan," I told him.

"Miss Swan, I thought you looked familiar. How is your father?" he asked courteously.

"Do you know each other?" I asked, but I already knew the answer. They weren't friends, by any means, but being the wealthy elite in a small town, they were bound to know of one another.

"Charles and I have met a few times at certain charity events. He is a large sponsor of the hospital."

"Anything to help stroke his ego," Edward mumbled.

Carlisle looked at him, and then nodded subtly. "Being seventeen is a hard age. So close to legal adulthood, but not quite fully matured. I'm sure you feel like he is more interested in being the villain than a loving guide. But eventually, you will come to realize he has always had your wellbeing at heart."

"I think Mr. Swan's heart lies more with his image than anything else," Edward told him bitterly. "I mean, he is so busy worrying about the family name and the possibility of his only child embarrassing him," Edward paused and then huffed. "I'm sorry, it's inappropriate for me bring up my father and our personal issues like this."

"No need to apologize, I understand what you are saying. Emmett and I went through a rough patch for a while too. We still work on it, and it helps to be able to talk with an unbiased third party."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a rough patch," Emmett spoke up. "It was more like a misunderstanding. But talking it through was definitely needed."

"I tried talking to my dad, but he isn't willing to listen," Edward told them. "He has his mind set, and that's it."

"What's he mad about?" Bree asked with her little innocent voice.

"He just thinks I should be a certain way, and doesn't really care about anything I want," Edward told her delicately.

"My dad said I could be anything I put my mind to. Right now, I'm planning to be a call girl," Bree told him with a smile.

Edward choked on his orange juice.

"She means a 911 dispatcher," Dr. Cullen clarified with a chuckle.

"So, you aren't trying to convince her to go into a more prestigious career?" Edward questioned.

"Why would she need to when her dad is rich?" I said, echoing what my father had always told me. I didn't need to worry about money, so I never felt pressured about anything. The fact that he was being so persistent about Julliard with Edward was still so perplexing.

"Well, I'm always here for moral support, but I fully expect both her and Emmett to support themselves financially," Dr. Cullen informed me.

"Really? But why?" I asked, legitimately curious.

"Developing a good work ethic is important for everyone. No matter what you do, give it your all and respect those who are struggling to strive besides you. From the plumbers to the architects. Stay at home moms to the CEOs. As long as you are fulfilled and helping others in some way, you are succeeding. But also there is a pride in supporting yourself and accomplishing goals. I want my children to find their calling in life, whatever that may be or how long it takes them to get there."

"It's easier said than done sometimes," Edward mumbled.

"I believe in them, just like I have faith that you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to as well. Everyone is capable of that."

"I'm not sure I agree with you on that one," Edward told him. "It's too hard for some people to overcome the hand they've been dealt."

"Everything worth having in life, will always be a struggle to obtain," Dr. Cullen told him with quiet intensity. "If I just handed everything to my children, what would they learn? How could they ever grow as people? As hard as it is, it's those struggles that make us stronger."

"I guess I never thought about it like that," Edward told him.

"It will all be worth it in the end when you're where you want to be," Dr. Cullen said assuredly.

He made a lot of sense, but it was still hard when you were in the struggling phase of everything.

"So, Edward, what's the scoop on the sports at Forks High?" Emmett asked, changing the subject.

I reflexively looked to Edward for his response, but his returning expression reminded me that I was the one who needed to answer him.

"Uh… it's good, I guess. I mean, our football team sucks, but swimming and volleyball are decent."

"What about baseball?" he asked eagerly.

"Um, cheerleading doesn't follow baseball," I told him, making absolutely zero sense, but it was the truth. I had no idea how Forks High Baseball did.

"I have a friend on the team," Edward spoke up, "he said they finished pretty high last year. Not sure if they've had any games yet this season."

"Oh, well, maybe one of you can ask around about a schedule? My travel team is kind of falling apart right now and I'm going through baseball withdrawals. I'd sure love to come watch a few games and get my fix."

"What school do you go to if you aren't going to ours?" Edward asked curiously.

"Oh, I've always been homeschooled. Well, not always, but for the last several years. I had a bit of a weight problem growing up, and kids made fun of me. So, when I came here, I didn't want to try a new school and thankfully, my dad was supportive."

"Huh. Well, I guess he can afford good tutors," Edward replied, slightly bitter.

"I'm sorry you were bullied. That's horrible," I told him quietly, feeling incredibly guilty for partaking in such torment at my own school. I never realized how cruel it could be and how much it can affect people long term. I guess I never took anything seriously at all before.

"Eh, it is what it is. I'm long over it. I wish those idiots could see me now. I'm probably bigger than most of them."

"You are abnormally huge," Edward said evenly.

"So, how long have you two been together?" Dr. Cullen asked Edward and me casually.

I was about to answer him with some random made-up answer, but Edward spoke first. "We're not together," he said quickly. "We're just friends. Actually, more like siblings really. I mean, I almost think of Esme as my mom."

I figured he said that as a way to cover for his presence there overnight with us, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting a little.

"You do?" Mom said, surprised by Edward's comment. "We've only really spoken a few times."

I faked a laugh. "Oh mom, you're so funny. She always says stuff like that," I said, giving her a meaningful look. She looked confused, but thankfully went with it.

"I've always wanted a daughter, and Bella has been so sweet."

"Weren't you two making out in the pool yesterday?" Emmett asked, confused.

"No," Edward said, a little too quickly, which only made me feel even worse. "He swallowed a bug that was floating in the water, so I was just helping."

"Helping by digging it out with your tongue?" Emmett questioned with a raised brow.

"I don't know what you think you saw, but we were definitely not doing anything close to that," Edward insisted. "It grosses me out just thinking about it. Besides, I'm not exactly Edward's type… if you know what I mean," he added, making Emmett raise his brows and nod in some kind of understanding.

Did he seriously just imply that I was gay? Me, as in Edward, as in him? What in the world was he thinking?

And I wasn't the only one taken aback by his comment.

"Wait, is she saying you're into other boys?" Mom asked me brazenly.

My mouth fell open in speechless bewilderment. "Um…"

"Oh, did I say something I shouldn't have?" Edward played dumb. "Maybe he wasn't ready for that to come out. Sorry."

"Uh, maybe it would be better if you two had this conversation in private," Dr. Cullen suggested, trying to ease the tension.

"There is nothing wrong with being gay," Bree announced. "My teacher is gay, and he has three kids and two husbands."

"Well then, this breakfast took an awkward turn," Emmett said, mostly to himself. Then he turned to Edward. "Hey, listen, if you're really not with Eddie over there, maybe you'd like to go out with me. I mean, we're both young and hot. I haven't had a good date on weeks."

Edward grimaced. "Um, no thank you." He stopped short of saying 'Ew', but his face sure as hell said it.

"You don't have to look so disgusted," Emmett said, taking offense. "I mean, I get not everyone will find me attractive, but dayum."

"Well, maybe I wasn't expecting to be hit on at the breakfast table," Edward snapped back.

"I wasn't hitting on you. I just asked you out."

"Same thing!"

"No, it's not!" he argued.

"Okay, okay, let's take it down a notch," Dr. Cullen stepped back in. "Emmett, please apologize to Miss Swan for offending her."

"How did I offend her?"

"Em!" Dr. Cullen said sternly.

"Fine. I apologize if I offended you, Mizz Swan… though, I don't know how that was offensive, but whatever," he grumbled under his breath.

"Let's just move on," Dr. Cullen said, with a disapproving glare to his son, before turning back to Mom. "Mrs. Masen, do you have any fun plans today?"

"None worth sharing," she replied with a nervous laugh.

He smirked. "Well, we are going to the county fair this afternoon. Would you be interested in accompanying us? Edward and Bella are invited as well. Of course, with the permission of your father," he said to Edward.

"He's out of town," Edward reiterated.

"That's right. Perhaps you can call him?"

Edward stared him down for a moment, and then nodded. "Sure."

"Great. Mrs. Masen, how about it?"

"It's just Miss," Mom corrected. "And I told you to call me Esme. Edward and I would love to go, right honey? Remember when we used to go to the fair all the time when you were little?"

"It was only once?" Edward retorted, prompting everyone at the table to look at him questionably.

I cleared my throat. "It's been a long time," I said, trying to cover for him. "I could only remember that one time, so that's what I had told Bella."

"Oh, no, we used to go all the time. Anyway, we would love to. Bella, are you in?"

"Sorry, I must have forgotten my wallet at home. I don't have money for something like that," Edward replied evenly.

"My treat, for all of you," Dr. Cullen offered.

"Well, sounds amazing then," Edward replied, still using the same monotone. "Wouldn't miss it."

"Great. We'll leave around one."

"Perfect," Edward said with the coldest smile I had ever seen on my face before. It was almost chilling.

We thanked Dr. Cullen for breakfast, and then excused ourselves back to the pool house to get cleaned up for our afternoon. As Edward was in the bathroom, Mom quietly sought an explanation.

"Is she okay?" she asked me concerned. "I'm so confused; I thought she was your girlfriend. What was the whole 'close like siblings' thing? I don't remember her being around more than a few times."

"No… she's been around a lot… Maybe you're just having trouble remembering," I said, wincing through my lie. She was clearly confused, but with the amount of drug use she had experienced, she knew there was a lot she had probably wasn't exactly cognitively aware.

"I'm sorry, honey, I'm just drawing a blank here."

"Don't worry about it, Mom," I said sympathetically. "You've been through a lot. Let's just focus on the future now."

She nodded, but still looked hesitant. "Are you really gay? Because if you are, it's okay. You know I love you no matter what."

I let out a long breath. "To be honest, I'm just a little confused right now about everything. When I figure it all out, I'll let you know."

"Really?"

"Of course. You're my mom," I said, surprised by how sincere it felt to say that. She was far from a perfect parent, but I could see she was trying. Without a mother of my own, I was beginning to feel so much closer to her than I ever could have predicted. All of her flaws somehow made her seem more real. More reachable. She was so vastly different than what I was used to with my own father, and that was the moment I realized just how much I needed that.

She teared up. "Thank you, sweetheart," she said, before giving me a timid hug. "I know we haven't always been close, but I'm so happy you are letting me back in your life. I really do think this is our second chance at everything. We're going to be okay this time. I just know it in my gut. And look at me! I can't remember the last time I was sober this long. It's all turning around for us now, baby. Just wait and see."

"I hope so," I said supportively. Her sobriety had really only been a few days, so I wasn't ready to celebrate the victory just yet, but perhaps if she was that determined, she just might make it happen long term. We could always hope, right? Edward, on the other hand, was still unconvinced.

"It's all bullshit. She'll fuck it up. She always does," he told me when we were alone in our room a little while later.

"I don't know, she seems really determined."

"It's because this is all new," he said, waving his hand around the room to emphasize his meaning. "It's her new addiction. She will always have one. It's just her personality type. Soon enough, this will all get old, and the thrill of the lavish shit will wear off. Or Dr. Cullen will catch onto her devious past and throw her out, creating a whole new round of spiraling substance abuse, and she will probably end up dead in a gutter somewhere."

"Why do you have to be so negative?" I asked, appalled.

"I'm not trying to be negative. I just know how she works. This is not her. She isn't the caregiver type, and certainly not one for some fancy rich kid. We don't belong here, and we won't be here long. That's what I know for a fact. I'll be surprised if she makes it another week.

"Well, I hope you're wrong."

"Me too! I'd love to be wrong, but I know her, and I've been disappointed a hundred times too many already. The only way to keep myself going is to stop hoping for better. I've accepted who she is, and I know it's only a matter of time before she winds up dead. One way or another, she will be gone, and I'll be doing the same shit I've always done. Working three jobs, just trying to keep some kind of roof over my head and a little food in my gut. That's my reality. That's all I'll ever be."

"It doesn't have to be like that," I told him quietly, fighting the urge to cry from his words. "You can go to college, and break free from…"

"College?" he scoffed. "College costs money."

"There are scholarships and loans…"

"And I wouldn't qualify for any of them. Trust me, I've considered my options, and I don't have any. But I do have an idea for you."

"What?" I asked, curious by his sudden change in tone. He went from forlorn to hopeful instantaneously. It was almost disorienting.

"Remember that old movie 'Big'?"

"No."

"Oh, come on, don't tell me you haven't seen it?"

"I haven't."

He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, in the movie, they went to like, a carnival, or something. There was one of those fortune teller machines, and it said to make a wish. The main character did, and it came true. So, maybe we can find one at this fair thing today, and we can wish to be switched back."

I let my head drop to the side in incredulity. He couldn't be serious, could he? By his expression, it seemed that he actually was.

"What?" he asked, questioning my lack of enthusiasm. "Okay, yes, it seems a little outlandish, but everything about our situation is outlandish." When my face didn't change, he huffed. "Look, I don't have my hopes up or anything, but we should at least try it. I mean, this can't just be a coincidence that we landed in the good doc's lap here, and now he is taking us to the fair. For all we know, this is what we are supposed to do to get our lives back."

"And what if we do get our lives back?" I questioned slowly. "What happens to us?"

He shrugged, as if he didn't understand the question. "We go back to living."

"More like, we go back to surviving," I countered. "You just basically said you have no hope for any kind of worthwhile future, and what do I have to look forward to? Still convincing my father that I don't play piano, except now, with me, I really don't, so it will just be even harder."

"Yeah, it's going to suck, but we can't just stay like this forever."

"Why not?"

He laughed once, but then fell serious when I didn't laugh with him. "Bella, stop, okay. Yeah, it's going to suck, but it's not like this is any better. Either way, Edward Masen isn't going anywhere, and if you're him, you don't stand a chance. Eventually, you'll convince your dad to drop the Julliard shit, but if you stayed like this, there is no hope for anything."

"There's hope for you," I disagreed. "Edward, go to Julliard. You deserve it. You deserve to have that chance, and I know you'll be great."

"I'm not going to go to Julliard as you. That doesn't even make sense. We're going to figure out a way to switch back, we just need to… figure it out."

"Or, we don't. We may never figure it out, and even if we did…"

"What?" he prompted when I let my words trail off.

I wiped a tear from my eye. "I don't want my life back, Edward. I don't want to go back to what I was doing before. I was mean, and no one cared about me. My dad was never around, and all of my future plans consisted of partying and living off of my dad's money. I don't want to do that anymore. What if… what if I can keep your mom out of trouble? What if she responds better to me because I'm not burned out on her the way you are? I can make it work as you. I can stay like this and figure out everything else as I go. At least I feel like I'm needed and cared about here. You should go to Julliard, that way, we can both have what we didn't have as ourselves. Maybe we're meant to actually switch places for good, not just temporarily."

He stared at me for a moment, as if he was considering my words, but then he scrunched his face and said - "Nah, I don't buy it. Whatever reason we were switched, it's certainly not meant to be permanent. We'll figure it out. It may not be this fortune teller machine, but I'm damn well going to try it."

He grabbed my phone to do some searches on the internet, but that was when we realized just how big our issue with my dad was.

"Shit," he breathed.

"What?" I asked anxiously.

He handed me the phone to see for myself. Fifty missed texts from my dad. I tentatively opened the chat.

-Bella, where are you?

-You better get home right now!

-Answer me!

-I thought I took your phone. Who the hell's phone do I have? It's certainly not yours. Get home now!

-I'm texting everyone listed in this Edward person's phone's contacts. Someone must know where you are.

-I know you've been using your phone. I have checked with the service company. I will have your phone disconnected if you don't get home NOW!

"So, were you, like, just ignoring him?" Edward asked me confused.

"No, I haven't been checking it lately. I didn't think I really needed to since I'm you right now."

"You know, he can actually track your phone if he wants to. It's only a matter of time before he shows up here. We probably should have thought that one through and kept each other's phones instead of keeping our own."

"Yeah, not our smartest move," I agreed. "Well, let's get to this fair so I can dump my phone somewhere."

When it was time, we all piled into Dr. Cullen's big SUV. He and Mom giggled and laughed the entire drive there, all the while, both Emmett and Edward wore matching faces of irritation. As for me, and apparently Bree, we couldn't have been happier the two elders were getting along so well. I sincerely hoped she found a way to not only get him, but keep him for good. Dr. Cullen could really take care of her and give her a reason to stay clean permanently.

Once we were there, we all hung out for a bit and tried some of the yummy deep-fried snacks. Dr. Cullen bought us wrist bands for unlimited rides, and then we all kind of separated. Bree stayed with the parents, but Emmett found a couple of his baseball buddies, so Edward and I took off on our own.

I used my phone a few times so if my dad tracked it, it would ping there, and I also texted Alice to ask if she could get ahold of another burner phone for me since I was about to lose mine. Then, I tossed it in the trash. It was a difficult thing for me to do since that thing had kept my world at my fingertips. It was my connection to who I used to be; my old friends and social media. Now, I was starting new, and it honestly felt liberating.

"You cool?" Edward asked me with supportive concern.

I nodded, took a deep breath, and then smiled. "I feel great."

We wandered around the fair and eventually found what we had been looking for. A creepy, old fortune teller quarter machine, which was now overpriced at a whopping five bucks.

"That's a rip off!" I growled.

Edward pulled a five out of his pocket. "If it switches us back, it's worth it," he said while inserting the money.

The thing lit up, and as the ugly mannequin inside began to move like it was talking, Edward said – "We wish to be switched back." Then, a little white card popped out. "It says wish granted! See?" he shouted excitedly.

"It's just a card. This is just metal and electricity. It's not magic," I said, lacking any belief whatsoever.

"If that's true, then at least we know we tried," Edward said with a shrug.

"Now what?" I asked, looking around the fair.

"Well, in the movie, the wish wasn't granted until the next morning, so I guess we wait. In the meantime, let's go ride some rides."

"Really? Those things are death traps. My dad always said it's not worth the risk of riding them because of how unsafe they are."

"Eh, we'll be fine. There is no way I'm passing up on these unlimited ride bands. Come on!"

So, I hesitantly agreed, but I refused to go on anything that went upside down. We ran around like a couple of kids, and laughed, and screamed, and felt like we were going to be sick, but we just kept going. He found my fears hilarious, but it was well worth it, because he held my hand through most of them.

We really were having a blast, but when it got dark, all the twinkling lights created an energy around us that was positively buzzing. It had to be one of the best times I could ever remember having, and now my heart was fluttering a mile a minute every time he looked at me.

It was close to our scheduled nine P.M. rendezvous with the rest of our group, so we decided to take one last ride. I had been unwilling to go on that giant Ferris Wheel the entire time, but somehow, he finally convinced me. On the first loop I was sure it was going to break and we would fall to our deaths right then and there, but by our second loop, I had settled into his side and was happily clinging onto him for dear life. Of course, with him currently being smaller than me, it was a little physically awkward, but he didn't seem to care. On our third and final loop, it happened… we got stuck.

"Are you serious?" I asked, unsure if someone was playing some cruel joke.

Edward laughed. "Yeah, I guess you were right about these things."

"Sit tight!" the worker yelled to everyone. "Should have you moving again in a few."

"Hey, at least it isn't breaking apart and sending us plummeting," Edward said with a snicker.

I laughed through my terror. "Great. Now that you put it out there, it will probably happen. Don't shake it!"

"I'm just adjusting my seat. Why is my ass hurting so bad sitting here when I have plenty of padding back there?"

I smacked him. "I do not have a fat ass!"

"I was not talking about your butt. I meant the seat. The seat is padded," he said with a giggle. "But, since you mentioned it," he teased while wiggling around some more.

"Shut up," I shouted, playfully offended.

I wasn't sure how it happened. One moment we were messing around and play fighting, the next, our lips were back to fighting for dominance. That kiss was seriously electric. What should have been another weird and surreal experience of kissing yourself, really didn't feel that way at all. Our bodies, regardless of who was in which, had a chemistry together that was beyond anything I had ever experienced with anyone else, and it was impossible to resist – at least, impossible for me.

We were interrupted by a sudden jolt, which broke us apart and apparently returned Edward to his wits. His mood immediately changed…