The mood within the royal family had been less than ideal for days. It was so bad that Kaleria had eaten dinner with Hedina and Valdrus three nights in a row to avoid the awkwardness she felt being around those of the line of Durin. Both Thorin and Dis acted cold toward her, and Fili and Kili, being the young boys they were, sided with their family and ignored her, too. She didn't know what she had done to upset them, but none of them were willing to discuss the problem with her.
Kaleria, not one to usually sulk, sat at Hedina's dining table, leaning heavily on one hand while the other stirred food around her plate with her fork.
Hedina glanced at her. "Are my potatoes not to your liking? Because I can make something else."
"No, it's not that," said Kaleria, sitting up. "I'm not hungry I guess."
"Valdrus, tell Kaleria that I know when something is bothering her and she should just tell me what it is, instead of pushing her food around her plate." Hedina directed her words toward her husband, but her eyes remained on Kaleria.
Valdrus, more focused on shoveling food into his mouth than talking, looked between the two women gauging whether he needed to speak up.
Kaleria sighed. "Dis and Thorin are mad at me, and I don't know what I did."
"Have you asked them why they are mad?" Hedina stared hard at Kaleria.
"Well, no." Kaleria sunk into her seat.
"Then maybe you should confront one of them and figure out what the problem is before this goes too far."
Kaleria glanced up at Hedina. "What do I say?"
Hedina huffed. "You tell Thorin you're sorry for whatever you did, then you tell him you love him."
"Hedina!" Kaleria cried.
Valdrus spat out the ale he had been drinking.
Hedina looked between the two of them. "What? You think I didn't realize you were in love with the king? I take offense to that."
"But you always pushed me toward Brerrick," argued Kaleria.
"Aye, you did," added Valdrus.
Hedina shot him a look and he went back to his plate of food. "I only did that to help you see what was right in front of you: Thorin."
Kaleria thought over Hedina's words. "But when I told you Brerrick kissed me, you didn't start pushing me toward Thorin."
"You had already kissed one man at the party. Was I supposed to encourage you to kiss two?" Hedina waited for Kaleria to offer up an answer.
Kaleria started to speak a few times before cutting herself off, unable to give a good response to her closest friend.
Hedina smiled in triumph. "Now, you should listen when I say you need to go after Thorin because you both deserve to be happy."
Kaleria sighed, but a smile crept up on her face. "He does make me happy."
"I knew it!"
"But," she held up her finger, "I should go to Dis first. She'll be more mad if I wait until after I talk to Thorin."
"Sounds like a good plan," Hedina pointed to the door, "you should go now."
"What? Why?" Kaleria asked.
Hedina got out of her chair and moved to lift Kaleria out of hers. "Because you wasted three days already, and I want to start planning your wedding tonight, so go make amends."
Hedina had pushed her all the way out the door, and shut it once she finished her sentence. Kaleria stood in the hallway, processing what had happened. Now that she knew she was in love with Thorin, the only thing standing in her way was herself.
Kaleria rushed to the royal wing of the mountain, asking each maid and butler she ran into where the princess was. Each answer got her closer and closer to her target, until she ended up in the library. She scanned every row of shelves for Dis as she walked, then as she reached the final shelf, she found the princess looking through a book she had just pulled from the shelf.
"Hello, Dis," she greeted.
Dis glanced up. "Kaleria."
The cold way she said her name told Kaleria that Dis was still mad at her. Now she needed to find out why, and fix their friendship.
"Are you mad at me?" She asked, bluntly, closing in on Dis in the aisle.
"Not particularly." Dis closed the book and moved on to another shelf.
Kaleria followed. "What does that mean?"
"Why does it have to mean anything?" Dis picked up another book and flipped through it, avoiding looking at Kaleria.
"Because you sent me away and you've avoided me ever since. I would like to know why."
"I'm busy. I haven't had the time for friends." The way she emphasized the word friends stuck out to Kaleria.
"You're never that busy, Dis. I would know. I've worked with you."
Dis moved toward another section, leaving Kaleria behind. "Things picked up and I became busier."
Kaleria, growing tired of the lies, stepped faster to catch up with Dis and grabbed her arm to make Dis face her. "Please, stop lying. If I did something to offend you, or hurt you, tell me what it is."
"Ha, like you don't know," Dis sneered, pulling her arm away.
"I don't! Tell me what I did wrong."
"You really want to know?" Dis eyed her. "You kissed him."
"Kissed…" Kaleria's eyes went wide. "Brerrick kissed me!"
"However you want to say it." Dis looked away as tears formed in her eyes. "And, you want to know the worst part? You did it in front of Thorin. You could've told him you wanted to be with Brerrick. That would've been less heartbreaking than making him watch."
Kaleria couldn't speak. She imagined Thorin watching her be kissed by Brerrick on the balcony, and how it would've looked to someone who hadn't heard their conversation. Now she understood why he had been so cold to her; he was hurt.
"Dis, you have to believe me. I would never want to hurt Thorin. Even if I did like Brerrick, which I don't, I would've been honest with him." Kaleria shook her head. "I didn't know he was there."
Dis turned her gaze back to Kaleria as she heard the pain in her voice. "He saw the whole thing."
"Did he see me push Brerrick away? Did he hear me reject Brerrick because I could never love him?"
Dis shrugged. "He didn't say anything about that part."
Kaleria's breathing sped up as she came to a realization. "Then he doesn't know."
Dis furrowed her brows. "He doesn't know what?'
Meeting Dis' eyes, Kaleria had never stared so hard at a person, trying to convey her exact emotions. "Thorin doesn't know that I love him."
Dis took on a blank expression of pure shock as Kaleria's words sunk in. "You love Thorin?"
Kaleria let out a tearful laugh. "I do. I love him."
Dis didn't know how to react. She had always wanted her brother to find happiness with another person, but as the years went on, she had begun to accept he would remain a bachelor for the rest of his life. She never thought Fili and Kili would have cousins to fight with, and she never thought she would have a sister. The idea of Thorin being married was something Dis couldn't picture.
Until now.
Suddenly, it made sense the way Kaleria and Thorin interacted when they thought no one was looking. It made sense that Kaleria had been the one to help Thorin overcome his dragon sickness. It made sense that Dis easily made friends with Kaleria when other women rarely liked Dis because they worried she would ruin their chances with Thorin. Kaleria had brought out a better side to her family, and Dis didn't want that to end.
Dis stepped closer to Kaleria, and brought her into a bone crushing hug. They held each other for a long time before Dis pulled back to see Kaleria's face.
"You need to talk to Thorin," said Dis.
Kaleria nodded. "Do you know where he is?"
"He's been spending a lot of time locked up in his study." Dis shook her head. "He always hides away when he's feeling too much pain."
Kaleria's head drooped. "I never meant to cause him pain. I went out on that balcony to clear my head, and it was there that I realized I love him."
Dis stamped her foot. "If he had been one minute earlier, Brerrick wouldn't have been out there, and we could've avoided all this."
"Don't worry," Kaleria squeezed her hand, "I'll make this right."
Dis released her hand and Kaleria hurried out of the library and toward Thorin's study. It was time to confess. It was time to take a step toward her own happiness. She only hoped Thorin felt the same way, and he could forgive her for what he had seen.
Staring at the papers in front of him, Thorin sat at his desk doing his best to focus on his work, but failing miserably. He didn't have the motivation to be king under the mountain. If he could, he would pass off every duty to someone on his council, but some things had to be attended to by the king. Thorin wished he could pull himself back together like he had done for every hardship in his life. Each of those hardships had been followed by a task that was bigger than himself; this time the hardship was bigger than any matters of the mountain.
Thorin sighed and pushed away from the table. He leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling as if waiting for his answers to fall from the heavens and into his lap.
A knock sounded at his door, but he didn't bother to answer.
After a beat, the knocking sounded again, this time louder. Then a voice followed.
"Thorin, it's Kaleria. I know you're in there. Please, open the door."
He raised his head from leaning against the chair and stared at the door. The last person he had expected to be at the door was Kaleria. She was also the last person he wanted to see.
"I'm busy. We can talk later." He hollered from his side of the door.
Suddenly, the door flew open and Kaleria let herself in before closing it behind her. "We need to talk now."
Thorin gripped the arms of his chair. "You need to stop picking the locks on rooms you don't need to be in."
Kaleria flinched at the harshness of his words, but continued forward until she was standing in front of him at his desk. "I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen."
"I don't have to do anything." Thorin stood and moved around his desk, engulfing the space in front of her. "I am the king! You listen to me!"
Kaleria held her ground. "You have to listen to me, Thorin!"
He grabbed her arm roughly and began pulling her toward the door. "I am interested in nothing you have to say."
Kaleria tried to yank herself away, but his grip was too strong on her arm. She began to panic as they got closer to the door. If he threw her out, he may never want to speak to her again.
"I know you saw Brerrick kiss me," said Kaleria.
Thorin stopped dead in his tracks, but he didn't look at her.
Kaleria stared at the back of his head, waiting for him to acknowledge her. When he didn't, she swallowed the lump in her throat, then continued speaking.
"Dis told me what you saw. I came here to apologize and tell you-"
Thorin spun around to face her. "It doesn't matter! I don't want an apology, and I don't want to hear how happy you are now."
He pulled her the final steps to the door, and shoved her out into the hallway.
Kaleria tried to regain her balance as she looked back at him. "Thorin, wait! You need to listen to me. I can explain everything."
"I don't want an explanation! I want you to go!" Thorin slammed the door in her face, the sound echoing in the empty hallway.
Kaleria remained still in front of the door, unable to move. She had imagined every possibility of what would happen once Thorin had learned the truth. What she hadn't imagined was what would happen if Thorin didn't listen to her at all. She had repaired her relationship with Dis, but she was failing to repair the one relationship that meant the most to her now.
Slowly, Kaleria walked away from Thorin's door, tears falling down her cheeks in steady streams. She didn't make a sound as she returned to her room. Kaleria didn't have the strength to fight her feelings, or to fight with Thorin. She was drained, and if Thorin wasn't willing to listen to her, she wasn't willing to argue with a door.