"Geez," Kaminari breathes, safely outside of Bakugo's room, "You're really somethin', Kirishima. I thought he was seriously gonna kill me."
Sero elbows him in the ribs, which is even more uncomfortable with the tape dispenser growths on his arms. "You shouldn'ta said that stuff about Midoriya! You were asking for it!"
"Sorry! It just slipped out!"
"Kirishima, what do we do if he doesn't trust us again?"
"I…I don't know. Just give him some time. I promised we wouldn't bring it up again, so we won't. We have to wait for him to bring it up again when he's ready." Kirishima looked conflicted. Even if he was able to get Bakugo to calm down, he still couldn't help fix his buddy's problem at the core. Quietly, he continues, "Katsuki thinks being 'in love' is about… y'know, touching and stuff. He doesn't really get it. That's why he thinks it's bad."
Kaminari blurts, half joking, "What the—? What is he, an innocent young maiden or something?"
"Cut him some slack! He's never felt this way before!"
"That's why I'm saying he's way too innocent! He's never had a crush before? He's never even been curious about girls? I bet he doesn't even have magazines under his bed!" The other two blush a bit, recognizing that given their ages, it would indeed be strange if Bakugo didn't have some kind of outlet… (other than exploding things).
Kirishima finally replies, "Look, the important thing is that he's trying to figure things out, and if we're not there to help, he'll just shut us out. So for now…" He realizes he's said this a million times already, but he has no choice but to say it again. "Just be patient. He'll talk to us on his own time."
Exasperated for one day, the other two leave it at that and head back to their own rooms. Meanwhile, Bakugo still mulls over their words, remembering the day Midoriya called him cute. He did feel happy. He still does. That much is true. But getting a little happy over something like that and being in love are two different things… right? I mean, how could they possibly be related? But then what other reason can there be? The idiots were right about him not reacting that way to anyone else. Combined with the other strange things he's been feeling lately, he can't just shake it off.
Ah. Come to think of it, he realized partway through their first two weeks as a pair that he felt a strong desire to protect Midoriya. Kirishima mentioned it just now too. Maybe that's all it is? The desire to protect? But what does that have to do with being happy when the person you want to protect calls you cute? He ruffles his hair in agony.
He's so frustrated he just wants to punch something. Over and over. He wants to blow something up. He wants to pick a fight with someone and win because he's the best. He wants to take down anyone who'd dare make him feel this kind of humiliation. He wants to blast off a building and fly through the air, feeling the chill on his skin, feeling confident and powerful and ready to bust some heads. He wants to feel like his old self again. He wants to… He wants to…
Damn, he wants to see Midoriya right now.
He wants Midoriya to watch him do all that stuff, because that would make all of it feel even better. She'd cheer him on, correct him on any mistakes she saw with those expectant eyes, and smile at him in that special way that makes his heart stop in his chest. Something about it, just the thought of it, makes him nervous, but also proud and focused and… happy.
Fine… Fuck, fine… So he… makes me happy, he finally admits to himself, But so what? Everybody's still reading too much into it. Love is different. He asserts this one final time, satisfied with his level of self-honesty. First he admitted that he wants to protect Midoriya. Now he admits that she makes him happy. Yup, he's definitely satisfied.
And that's exactly what he keeps telling himself as he stands in front of Midoriya's door.
But he's not here just because he wants to see her. No, obviously not. He's here to say what he couldn't before. He wants her to call him by his name. It's that simple. There's no deeper meaning other than just wanting to be better friends with her. If he can let Eijirou and even Shoto do it, then there's no reason she can't do it either.
He knocks on her door, and she opens it.
She blinks, surprised to see him. "Kacchan?"
He wavers. His heart starts to thud in his ears again. So he takes a deep breath and starts, "Sorry for earlier."
"…Oh. Yeah, that's okay. I was worried for a sec, but I'm glad you're alright. Todoroki-kun said he would talk to you. What's wrong? What was it about?" She still looks worried, ready and determined to help him fix whatever problem might've come up.
And seeing that she's as serious as always calms him down a bit, like she'll handle his words like she would any hero mission. The seriousness is contagious. So, quickly, before he changes his mind, he states plainly, "Call me Katsuki."
But after he says it, the nerves come back again full force, and they both immediately turn the same shade of red.
"EH?!" she screeches and backs away, as if he just asked her to touch him inappropriately. Leaning against her doorframe, she averts her eyes, looking every direction other than in his direction.
"Not 'Eh'!" he shouts back, suddenly mortified, "It's… because we're friends! This is what friends do!"
Upon hearing the word "friend", her eyes snap back up to him. "Y… You mean it?"
"Would I be here if I—?"
"I-I know! But… to ask that… all of the sudden…"
"…It's not 'all of the sudden'. This has been a long time comin'. You and me should'a been friends a long time ago." Her heart skips a beat. He continues, "Also, I made Eijirou and Shoto do it."
Her eyes widen at him. What? He already…? Both of them? Their given names?…Kirishima-kun is one thing but… Todoroki-kun too? For some reason, she doesn't like the thought of that. Before asking her, he asked two people he's only just met this year. And one of them, she thought he didn't even like! Well, leave it to Kacchan to give the impression that he doesn't like someone when actually he really wants to be friends with them. But still… Doesn't this mean… he considers both of them to be closer friends to him than she is? No, wait. Not necessarily. Kacchan's been so sincere with me recently. If he doesn't say he likes them more, then maybe that's not it.
She tries to find the best way to ask him. "You… must really like them both."
He glances to the side in thought. "…Probably."
"Probably?"
He thinks a little more. "…I don't have to say much but they still get me. Especially Eijirou. He's an idiot, but once he gets something, he knows what to do. Shoto… Can't really tell what he's thinking, but at least he listens, and he doesn't mess around."
"And… And me?"
He pauses as he looks her in the eye again. Seeing her reluctant yet hopeful face makes his chest pound again. "You…" He remembers the revelation he had right before he came here. In his heart, he knows he should say it. After all, it's not a big deal. He accepted it. He can say it. He can tell her! He's not afraid! Just say it! "You… You make me—" Suddenly his throat seizes up. His face fills again with blush. He wants to avert his eyes, but part of him feels like that would be "running away", so he stares hard at her. Her shimmering eyes, curly mess of hair that frames her plush face and delicately feathers her freckles… her pink, perfect-looking lips that squeeze tight together when she's nervous. Or in this case, expecting something. Why is he suddenly noticing all of this now? She's waiting for him to answer her, but he's just standing there! And the longer they stare, the more nerve-wracking it is for both of them. Midoriya isn't sure what to expect, but clearly it must be something important for him to just stare at her like this in silence. Almost like… Almost like he's… confessing something…
She takes a deep breath and a shot in the dark. "…Katsuki."
Looking straight at her, he watches her call his name. He watches the way her lips move when she calls his name, and how her face turns another shade redder. It sounds soft and hesitant, almost like she wanted to whisper it, but in the almost deafening silence of this empty hallway, he heard it clearly.
"I make you… what?" she asks, begging silently for an answer.
Something in him melts completely, giving in to her demand. "…Happy." Finally feeling like he can look away, his gaze drifts down. "You make me happy."
Unconsciously, losing control of herself a bit, she lifts her arms to hug him. She's never felt more compelled to hug someone in her entire life. The innocent look on his pink face, how it probably took all of his strength and pride just to say that one little word, she's inexplicably drawn to it.
But as soon as he realizes she's reaching out to him, he takes a step back on reflex. That's when she realizes her body was moving on its own. She immediately pulls her arms back and apologizes. He's so surprised and confused, he forgets to say he's sorry twelve times in response. To him it looked like she was about to grab him or touch him in some way, but his imagination doesn't run too wild.
Instead, they both look down awkwardly as each others words replay in their heads. Bakugo replays the sound of her calling his name in his head over and over, and if Midoriya wasn't so busy replaying the phrase "You make me happy," in her head, overthinking exactly what he means by that, she might've caught him smiling.
"H-Happy… What… kind of happy?"
His smile is replaced by confusion as he looks at her. "Huh?"
Finally looking at him and seeing his confusion, she retracts her question. "Uh, n-nevermind. Um… thanks. You, um… make me happy too."
He watches her smile at the ground, shyly, genuinely, and he thinks his heart might burst. He really does make her happy. And it makes him smile again.
"Um… but I… I'm sorry, but I don't think I can keep calling you… y'know…"
Again his smile disappears as he looks back up at her. "Hah? Why not?"
"It's just… too soon maybe…" Something about it feels far too personal. There's that. But then there's also… "I mean, if I call you that, then it would be weird if you didn't call me 'Izuku', right?" And I'm definitely not ready for that. She's just barely getting used to him calling her "Midoriya".
"You don't want me to…" he asserts.
Seeing the sudden disappointment on his face, she tries to argue, "No! It's not that I don't want you to. It's just… I… I'm not used to it. I mean, I've been meaning to tell you this, but it's really okay if you go back to calling me Deku."
Something in him breaks a little bit. "You… You want me to…? You're saying you'd rather me call you that than your real name? You really hate the thought of me calling you your real name that much?" He has a look on his face that says, "Do you really hate me that much?"
"N-No! Of course I don't hate it! It's just… I'm comfortable with 'Deku'! I mean… I even made it my hero name! I used to not like it, but it feels different now!"
He remembers what Uraraka told him the one time they ate lunch together. "Because of her, right? Not 'cuz of me. I'm the one who made that nickname so awful in the first place, and you want us to go back to that?" His tone is incredulous.
"But… But you don't feel the same way about me anymore, so it's fine. Really."
Her smile is genuine. He can tell. But something in him still… hurts. It hurts, and he's not sure why. But he starts to remember something. As happy as Midoriya makes him sometimes, there are times like this where one little word from her is enough to ruin his whole day. He hates that. He hates how his mood is so easily affected by her lately. Whether he's happy or sad or angry, shouldn't that be his choice? He hates anyone else having so much power over him. And if that's how he really feels, doesn't that mean that somewhere deep down, he still… hates her? Maybe he never really stopped? But… even though he hates her, she still makes him indescribably happy sometimes? Does that even make any sense?
"Do you… really want me to call you by name that badly? Is… Is 'Kacchan' just no good?" He snaps out of his thoughts a little bit and looks at her as she continues, "Does it… remind you of when we were kids? Is that why?"
He doesn't know what to answer. He doesn't particularly mind the nickname. He never really cared about it. It's her nickname he's concerned about.
"If… If you want, I can call you 'Bakugo-kun'." But as soon as it leaves her mouth, it already feels weird for both of them, almost like she just put even more distance between them. Fighting the urge to apologize again, she admits, "No… That's awkward, isn't it?"
Finally, his patience runs out. "…Fuck. Just forget it." He turns to walk away. "Do whatever you want, Midoriya."
She wants to chase after him. She wants to tell him that she didn't mean it that way. But she knows that no matter what she says, she can't tell him the truth. If he were to call her by her name every day, she… she wouldn't be able to keep hiding these feelings. He just doesn't realize how truly unexpected it was to hear him say that. After years of being called that admittedly cruel nickname, she had long since given up on him actually calling her by her real name. But now that the possibility is suddenly within reach… it's frightening. She wouldn't be able to control herself. She'd melt every time she hears it. She wouldn't be able to focus during their assignment either. She wouldn't be able to hold back. She'd try to hug him again. And again and again and again. And the more he says it, the worse it'll get. She won't get used to it. Her feelings will just keep getting stronger, until he's all she can think about, until she's obsessed with hearing him call her name over and over, memorizing the sound of it, the tone of his voice every time, the way his lips move when he says it… and eventually the way those lips feel against hers.
She can't. She just can't. So without saying anything, she lets him walk away and retreats back to her room, feeling even more disappointed in herself than he is.
Hearing her close her door without any argument, Bakugo feels his heart sink. She means it. She really hates the thought of him calling her by name. No matter how happy it made him to hear her call his name, she doesn't feel the same way. Finally out of her sight, he feels tears pool into his eyes against his will. The fuck? he thinks, wiping them. The fuck're you crying for? Too frustrated to really think about it anymore, he gives up for today and focuses on getting back to his room without anyone asking him any damn questions. He trudges back to the elevator, but without pressing a button, it dings and opens.
Uraraka freezes as she sees him.
