Chapter 29

I closed my eyes and drifted into my false rest as Bella napped. It was strange, though I was still fully alert, I was able to stop my mind from racing. My body stiffened after about an hour as I sensed someone nearing the back of the house from the woods. I calmed down when I recognized Alice's aura. She didn't bother knocking, she just waited patiently by the back door. Bella was still knocked out with her head in my lap, I carefully replaced myself with a throw pillow, trying not to wake her and went to let Alice in. We stayed in the kitchen and kept our voices low and quiet as we talked.

"I could see that you wouldn't be leaving here anytime soon and I really needed to talk to you." She fidgeted with her wedding ring, something she didn't do unless she was under a lot of stress.

"Did you find Edward?" I asked.

"Yes, he's off in the mountains, inconsolable." I felt a bit of relief at hearing that Alice, at the very least, knew his location.

"Did you go to him, or was it just a vision?"

"A bit of both. I saw him in a vision and I tracked him within the mile, but when I got close to where he was I had another vision. He doesn't want me there, he wishes to be alone."

"You're his wife, don't you think you should go talk some sense into him?"

"Jasper, we've been married for over fifty years, I know what he needs and right now he just needs to be alone with his thoughts. Everyone has always put Edwards control on a pedestal, the thing he takes the most pride in has now become his own worst enemy. He's having a crisis of identity."

"Well excuse me if I don't feel that bad for him, we're vampires. We're always going to be vampires . . . this could have been any one of us you know. I just don't think any of the rest of us could be selfish enough to put her in unnecessary danger because of an identity crisis." My voice had became a bit louder than I intended, I cleared my throat and tried to calm down. "Now, are you going to tell me what made him take off in the first place?"

"It was my vision. The one I had before I got Bella out of the way, it was . . . bad. He feels like a monster."

"How bad exactly?" She winced and I could tell by her emotions that she'd seen something horrifying. She explained the vision to me in careful detail and I tried to hold back my anger, reminding myself over and over that it hadn't actually happened. I kept looking towards the living room where Bella was sleeping, realizing how truly lucky I was that she was still breathing. I was glad that Edward was off pouting, this is exactly why I'd wanted him to go back to Alaska in the first place. Bella's dream now made a lot more sense, he would have been the one who actually took her life, though the van would have certainly hastened the matter. I went upstairs and retrieved Bella's dream journal and let Alice read through it to see if she found anything of importance.

"Well let's see . . . it was snowing, Edward absolutely was a threat, and something was about to crush her. She even heard the same sound, I can definitely see the similarities. Her dreams are a lot more cryptic, while my visions are more straight forward, but there's something there for sure."

"So can you see what he's going to do?"

"He'll take a few days to decide."

"He needs to leave, at the very least . . . school is off the table, we're not taking anymore chances."

"He probably won't fight you on that. Look, he's just off licking his wounds. He was so sure that he could handle this on his own and he's taken this as a sign that he truly can't, he knows you were right."

"I'll give him a few days to sort out his next move, but I'm not leaving her side until he returns. I don't care how sorry he feels for himself, he's still dangerous. You've seen exactly what he's capable of."

"I have seen. Trust me, I've seen things that I wish I could unsee . . . and as much as I love him, I guess I can't blame you, my sight isn't exactly clear right now."

"Do you still see him now? Is he still in the same place?"

"Yes. I'm keeping an eye out for any decisions that he makes . . . as best that I can anyway. He's not blood thirsty or aggressive right now, he's just sitting there, staring ahead."

"So even after all of this, do you still see Bella as . . . one of us?"

"Yes." I felt her confidence and relaxed a bit.

"I just wish I knew how long. I'm terrified that this isn't going to be the worst of it, I can't lose her Alice. I can't."

"Why don't you just talk to her about it, see what she wants? If you don't put it on the table, she might not know it's an option."

"If I bring it up, she'll assume it's what I want and she'll say yes, just to make me happy. She's so selfless. This has to be her idea for it to truly be her choice. "

"She will choose you. Wouldn't it be better than possibly losing her all together?"

"Of course, I just don't want it to come to that."

"Well, you've fallen in love with a human. You better saddle up and get ready for all that that entails, I never said that it was going to be easy. Things might not go the way you think they should, but that doesn't mean that your future isn't going to end up exactly the way it's supposed to. Some events are just fate, but she can only escape death so many times Jasper. I would talk to her sooner rather than later." I could feel her worry, remorse, and fear.

"Do you know any more than you're telling me?"

"No Jasper. I don't know and that's what scares me . . . I'm sorry, I wish I could be of more help. I've gotta go talk to the others. Tell Bella I'm sorry I missed her again, tomorrow at lunch for certain." She turned towards the back door and disappeared. I sat at the table without blinking, breathing, or moving for the better part of an hour before Bella woke up. I just felt so lost.

"Jasper?" She asked in a tired, panicked, voice from the living room. I was at her side in a flash, accidentally startling her. She flinched as her eyes tried to adjust to my sudden appearance, relaxing as she looked up into my eyes.

"You seem to be feeling better." I noticed. She gave me a small smile and stretched her limbs. Her stomach growled.

"Yeah, I guess I do, I'm starving though." Without another thought I bolted into the kitchen and started looking for something for her to eat, searching the cabinets at vampire speed, not quite sure what I was looking for. A moment later she walked into the kitchen and I felt her amusement.

"Hey, I promise, I'm fine. I can handle lunch." She assured me. I relaxed a bit and set down a can of mixed vegetables I'd been holding onto as a possible option. She walked over and put them back in the cabinet, shaking her head and laughing, then she went to the fridge and pulled out some sort of unappetizing looking leftovers. She curled her small arms around my waist as she waited for the food to heat up in the microwave, we stayed like that until it beeped. I sat with her at the table as she ate and reluctantly told her about Alice's vision. She took it better than I'd expected, though it still left her a bit on edge.

"So that's why he ran off. He just looked so . . . angry, maybe I misread him. Maybe he was just . . . scared." I could tell that something inside of her was trying to sympathize with him, I sighed. It definitely wasn't the first thing that I expected her to say after telling her just how much worse things could have been this morning.

"Bella, you don't have to feel bad for him. He nearly murdered you."

"He would have died too . . . and he left as soon as he saw the vision Alice had, right? He didn't want it to happen any more than the rest of us." We both sat in a thoughtful silence for a moment.

"Listen Bella, I don't feel comfortable leaving you until we have eyes on him again." I felt her curiosity.

"How are we going to manage that? What about Charlie?" She started to get nervous.

"If I can't be with you, I'll either be outside or waiting in your room. I'll take you to and from school, now that you're truck is - " She groaned, cutting me off. I could feel her sadness and disappointment.

"Ugh, don't remind me. I loved that truck." She rubbed her forehead.

"I'm sorry Bella, but it's better the truck than you." She winced.

"I know. I just feel bad, my dad just bought it for me and now it's totaled."

"I'm sure he'd rather have you than the truck too." She let out a dark chuckle and I could feel her relief. I knew she was considering just how grateful she was to be alive. She ate the rest of her lunch in silence and I could feel that she was contemplating something.

"So if you aren't going to leave, when are you going to be able to hunt?"

"I can manage for a few days without it, as long as you trust me."

"Okay . . . I trust you." There was something about the words that weren't aligning with her feelings.

"What is it Bella?" Her nerves spiked.

"Does it ever get any easier for you? I mean . . . being around me?"

"Sure, it gets easier every day. I mean, the burn never goes away, but it's almost like I've been able to build a bit of a tolerance to it. The longer I'm around you the less it bothers me, but whenever I leave and see you again, it resets a bit, your scent can still hit me pretty hard. Though now, even if the predator inside me gets triggered, I'm able to push past it. Your scent has a way of soothing me, once I can get past the initial flood of venom."

"So . . . do you think that's only because of our bond? Or would it be possible for someone else to build up a tolerance?" I immediately stiffened when I realized where she was heading with this line of questions.

"No. Absolutely not. It's too dangerous."

"I didn't even say anything yet." She crossed her arms and let out an exasperated breath.

"Bella, your scent will be a thousand times stronger to Edward than it is to me. In theory, yes, someone else could build a tolerance, but it just won't work in this case. The rest of my siblings would be fine if you were to walk into our house and sit down next to one of them. They would experience the same burn that I do, but we're used to that, we go to school. Edward on the other hand would snap into predator mode instantly and it would be nearly impossible for him to stop himself from attacking. That's exactly what we've been trying to avoid."

"But that's exactly my point. I'm only alive because of Alice. What happens when Alice doesn't catch the next disaster in time? What if we just stop trying to avoid it and face it head on? I'm not suggesting that you lock me in a room with him, but you said you carry my scent on your clothes when you go home right? What if you started with something like that? Lock him in a room with the rest of you, that way if he freaks out he has to get past the rest of you before he can try to get out and find me."

"While I appreciate your willingness to help, I respectfully veto that suggestion."

"It was just an idea, but I do think you should tell the others and see what they say."

"Bella, it's not going to happen. We're just going to wait for Edward to get back from his sulking session, then I'm going to ask him to leave. If he doesn't, then at least he won't be at school and I guess we'll only go to the cabin when he's not home . . . But I will be strongly insisting that he leaves all together."

"For how long?"

"Until he's not a threat to you anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her heart rate increased a bit and I felt a flicker of hope, which made me curious.

"Until we can go somewhere else together once you graduate, or until the rest of my family moves on, then I could stay here with you." It was the simplest answer for now, it's what we would do if she were to remain human. The threat would never fully disappear until she was one of us.

"Oh." I felt a bit of disappointment coming from her as she said it.

"Oh?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"I just . . . never mind." Her face turned red as she took her dishes to the sink, I could feel that something was weighing heavily on her mind.