Teddy paced the living room late one night bouncing eight week old Daniel when a text popped up from

Megan.

Megan, "how do I get this kid out of me?"

Teddy, "still nothing?"

Megan, "no. Mom is no help."

Teddy, "she's there."

Megan, "why are you up?"

Teddy, "some body won't sleep if I put him down or stop moving."

Megan, "everything okay?"

Teddy, "growth spurt."

Megan, "you okay?"

Teddy, "I'm fine. Owen did the first shift. I'll trade with him after I feed Daniel again."

Megan, "I don't get to do that. My meds aren't safe and not risking rejection."

Teddy, "we honestly use both and did with Allison. Daniel hasn't had any formula yet but he needs to be fed so if we need it we use it."

Megan, "how does it work with work?"

Teddy, "he'll be six months when I go back."

Megan, "we move dec 10."

Teddy, "with a weeks old baby. But you're here and out of quarantine for Christmas. I'm doing Christmas."

Megan, "you worked out mom?"

Teddy, "we did. Family sponsored between Owen and I. Then we can share your mom."

Megan, "she hasn't met Daniel yet."

Teddy, "no but it's okay."

Megan, "I want to be with you guys but leaving the beach house. I didn't even bother to do a nursery to use it for a month."

Teddy, "we don't have one for Daniel. He's still in our room then the boys share."

Megan, "when will you move him?"

Teddy, "when he sleeps through the night. He's right beside me for now so it's easy to roll over and grab him. He slept 4 hours last night."

Megan, "how are you feeling?"

Teddy, "I went for my first run today. I hadn't run in 4 or 5 months. It felt good to go on my own."

Megan, "the kids?"

Teddy, "Owen had all three. This is so much easier having him help and that I can have half an hour to myself to breathe ."

Megan, "can I do this?"

Teddy, "you can. You have Faroke."

Megan, "I've never had an infant."

Teddy, "hugs, cuddles. Tummy time is funny because Allison lays down with him."

Megan, "has she adjusted?"

Teddy, "she's still being 2. She's stubborn like her dad."

Megan, "really?"

Teddy, "she looks like me but acts like him. She's our stubborn one."

Megan, "we need strong women."

Teddy, "we do. Yours will have your attitude. Do I get names?"

Megan, "when she arrives. I'm so frustrated."

Teddy, "how late?"

Megan, "3 days. Help."

Teddy, "go for a walk. We went for one the day before Daniel. Tell Riggs what you need."

Megan, "he's on my nerves."

Teddy, "hovering?"

Megan, "yes."

Teddy, "tell him what you need."

Megan, "a bubble bath and a massage."

Teddy, "go do that and tell Nate."

Megan, "I sent him for snacks."

Teddy, "what snacks?"

Megan, "I want bbq chips and frozen yogurt."

Teddy, "cinnamon buns."

Megan, "you are a genius. I'll call and tell him."

Teddy, "keep me posted. I'm going to try to sleep."

Owen came into the living room where Teddy was pacing.

"Come to bed," Owen said.

"He's asleep," Teddy said, "as long as I hold him."

"Teddy give him to me and go to sleep," Owen said.

"I'm okay," Teddy said, "I like this time."

"Teddy, you're exhausted, go sleep for a few hours," Owen said.

"I'm okay," Teddy said, "I can't put him down."

"Come sit in our bed with him," Owen suggested.

"I did it with Allison but I don't know how you feel about it," Teddy started.

"You want him to sleep with us," Owen asked.

"Can we try," Teddy asked.

"I did it in a panic with Leo," Owen said , "you're always so cold in your sleep will you be okay?"

"I should be," Teddy said, "I did it with Allison. She would sleep in my bed."

"How did you make it work," Owen asked.

"I pushed it against the wall in the corner," Teddy replied.

"That's why it was in the corner when I moved in," Owen said, "I thought it was to fit her crib in your room."

"Can we put him in our bed tonight," Teddy said, "it was the only way I slept with Allison."

"Tonight," Owen said, "it can't be a habit."

"I'm going to lay down with him in our bed," Teddy said, "check on your sister and Riggs."

"Are you okay," Owen asked.

"I think he's just about ready for a feed looking st the time," Teddy said.

"Go get comfortable ," Owen said.

Teddy carried Daniel into the bedroom and laid him in the middle of the bed. She moved the blankets to the foot of the bed and kept an eye on the baby as she changed her pajama shorts for a pair of flannel pajama pants. Owen hated the fuzzy flannel pants but she would be too cold otherwise.

Teddy laid down and curled around Daniel he turned his head towards her and began nuzzling her shirt.

"Snack then sleep," Teddy told the baby.

Owen texted Nathan, "everyone okay?"

Nathan, "Meg is stressed and getting frustrated."

Owen, "Teddy was. What have you tried?"

Nathan, "everything she's just done. I don't know how much more she can take. It's hard to watch."

Owen, "Teddy was and needed a lot of support."

Nathan, "did you feel useless? Getting snacks isn't really helping."

Owen, "just listen to her. You think you feel useless now, wait till she's in more pain then you thought she could take and still has more to go."

Nathan, "I'm worried about that. How do I help her?"

Owen, "be her. Remind her to communicate. Teddy liked physical contact."

Nathan, "did Teddy get any pain relief?"

Owen, "she didn't."

Nathan, "Meg wants to decide then."

Owen, "that's what Teddy said. She was so much stronger than I thought. Wait until you hold your baby."

Nathan, "soon. If I could get Meg to relax it would help."

Owen, "go for a walk and sit out on the beach with her. Teddy's back was really sore. Massage helped. Physical contact was about all that calmed Teddy."

Nathan, "you guys doing okay it must be like one am."

Owen, "it is. 8 weeks old. He's growing fast. Teddy is still worn out but she went for a run by herself for half an hour today. Which is the first time she's done that."

Nathan, "the other thing we talked about?"

Owen, "still just kisses and cuddling. She's not ready."

Nathan, "you okay?"

Owen, "I love her and we're together. It's Teddy she'll tell me when she's ready. She just put Daniel in our bed for tonight."

Nathan, "co sleeping?"

Owen, "one night. We've had the older two in our bed when they're scared or sick. They just want to cuddle with Teddy. Something about mommy."

Nathan, "never pictured Teddy as a mom until I saw her with your kids."

Owen, "she's mommy and loves our kids. She's happiest with the kids. She always wanted them."

Nathan, "I'm not ready."

Owen, "you're fine. You've been a dad for a while with Faroke."

Nathan, "new born."

Owen, "it's fine. They sleep, cuddle and poop. I haven't gotten to feed Daniel yet."

Nathan, "Teddy does every bottle."

Owen, "we haven't used formula yet. Teddy wants to breastfeed. So we see a lot of boobs."

Nathan, "hopefully soon."

Owen, "she wanted to try this week. We'll see."

Nathan, "Meg is calling me."

Owen, "take care of my sister. I'm going to see if Teddy is okay."

Owen walked back into their room and found Teddy curled around Daniel. He had seen her nap like this with the baby. Daniel tucked close to Teddy and her body wrapped around him keeping him safe. He noticed she had pushed the blankets into the floor and had changed to thick flannel pajama pants. Owen laid down opposite Teddy and reached out one hand to smooth the hair back from her face.

"Hey," Teddy whispered, "he finally fell asleep."

"What about you," Owen whispered.

"Almost," Teddy replied, "I like this time with them."

"I know you do," Owen said, "seeing you curled up with our kids all of you together."

"Come cuddle with us," Teddy mumbelled.

Owen could Tell she was half asleep. He scooted closer and put his hand on top of hers both of them connected to little Daniel.

Around six Allison crawled into the bed with her teddy bear.

"Mommy," Allison said.

"Come cuddle baby girl," Teddy murmured rolling to her back and holding one arm out.

"No blankie," Allison said.

"No it's not safe for Daniel," Teddy said, "curl up with me."

"Good morning Allie," Owen yawned.

"Daddy," Allison said, "mommy say no blankie."

"No because Daniel is in our bed," Owen said.

"Daddy," Leo said, standing in the doorway with his blankie.

"Come here buddy," Owen said, "careful with the blanket and your brother."

"Hi Leosaurus," Teddy whispered tossling the red curls as the little boy got in on Owen's side of the bed.

"Baby sleeping," Allison said, "shhh."

"Yes Daniel is asleep," Teddy said.

"Mommy needs more sleep two," Owen said.

"I'm fine," Teddy said.

"Just close your eyes and have your cuddles with the kids," Owen said.

"You two," Teddy said.

"I'll stay," Owen agreed, he liked the cuddle time with his family. Owen was finding it hard sometimes to be the strict leader he had been during previous military roles especially now when he came home to Teddy and their kids. He preferred his role at home, work to him was just a job now. He knew how he was leading had changed, he had more patience and empathy for the younger soldiers and empathy for their parents being cut off from their kids. He prayed they wouldn't send him into the field he didn't know if he could be away from Teddy and the kids like that.

"We should set a date," Teddy said.

"Date for what," Owen asked, still half asleep.

"Our wedding," Teddy said, "just little with our family. I want Meg as my maid of honor."

"Riggs," Owen said, "friends?"

"I just want to be married to you," Teddy said, "lets do it Riggs, Meg, your mom, our kids."

"New Years eve," Owen suggested.

"New Years," Teddy agreed, "with our family."

"Who can do it," Owen asked.

"One of our chaplains at work," Teddy replied.

"I'll ask Monday," Owen said.

"I need a white dress," Teddy smiled.

"I need a suit," Owen replied.

"Dress uniform," Teddy declared.

"Is that what you want," Owen asked, "we could do a big wedding."

"It would be nice to have Amanda but that's all the family I have," Teddy said, "technically I have Jordan but. You know how things have always been with him."

"Your brother " Owen asked to clarify. She seldom talked about her brother. There were three topics he knew to never bring up, her brother Jordan, her first marriage to Paul and Henry. Three men that Teddy had loved and trusted that hurt her completely and only Henry had been through natural circumstances. Henry's death had crushed Teddy more than losing her brother or ending her first marriage.

"Jordan doesn't even know I'm here," Teddy said, "he hasn't talked to me since I enlisted 20 years ago. I've tried. I called when I was in DC before Allison was born. He refused to come to the phone."

"Isn't he your emergency contact," Owen asked.

"No when I first came here I put your name down," Teddy said, "my brother wouldn't answer if the military called about me. He actually told me not to come home."

"Do you know anything about him," Owen asked.

"He's involved with a very weird church," Teddy said, "some sort of fundamentalist. Four years ago I was in Alabama for some training and I drove past his house. He saw me. My twin brother wouldn't even wave back. I've found his Twitter what he's involved in worries me. He has 12 kids. They believe the more kids you have the better Christian you are."

"How do you know this," Owen asked.

"Twitter account he doesn't realize is really me," Teddy said.

"Your tbear one," Owen asked, "and that Instagram that only shows cooking and baking projects or what you do with the kids."

"Yea," Teddy replied, "his wife doesn't know it's me. I've never shown my face on it. Faith wouldn't recognize me."

"What does it say in the bio on that one," Owen asked.

"Take a look," Teddy said, "Allison can you pass me my phone."

Allison passed Teddy's phone over.

Teddy opened the Instagram account she used to keep tabs on her brothers family.

"Mama of 3, doctor, I like to cook bake and hang out with my family," Owen read.

"They don't know it's me but it's my middle name and my mom's maiden name," Teddy said to explain using Grace Johnson.

"Common enough names," Owen said, "I like this picture of the three playing on the floor."

"I should reach out to Jordan," Teddy said, "I'll pull up their family account but I worry about those kids."

"Why," Owen asked.

"Home schooled the girls can't have lives out side the house the boys can only have a trade," Teddy said, "our dad was a family doctor I don't get how Jordan can hate medicine now and post about how evil it is."

"Message them," Owen said, "I'll help you."

"After breakfast," Teddy said, "Danny is asleep can I shower first?"

"Go," Owen said, "I'll enjoy these three monkeys."

"I'm not a monkey," Leo said, "I'm a Leosaurus. Allison is a monkey."

"What's Daniel," asked Teddy.

"Cookie," Allison said.

"No," Leo said, "he's a dragon."

"A dragon," Owen chuckled, "I like it. Teddy go shower."

Teddy got out of bed slowly and she paused to kiss Owen before walking to the shower.

As she showered Teddy thought of what she would say to her brother. She was proud of everything she had accomplished. This was her twin, they had been best friends until he had met Faith and started spending more time with her family. She did want to reconnect, for him to see that she had made something of herself and found her way, her family.

In LA Megan and Nathan sat on opposite ends of their sun deck.

"Meg," Nathan asked.

"What," Megan snapped.

"How can I help," Nathan asked.

"Nothing," Megan sobbed, "I want this baby out of me. I can't do this anymore I need her out."

"Okay babe," Nathan said, "I'm excited to meet her two. Right this second what can I do?"

"Can you massage my feet," Megan sniffled.

"I can do that," Nathan said, "do you want some water?"

"Is there any of the bubbly the purple one," Megan asked.

"I picked up two cases," Nathan said.

"With ice," Megan asked.

"Blackberry bubbly with ice and a foot massage," Nathan said, "that I can do for you."

Nathan walked into the kitchen leaving Megan sitting in the lounge chair on the sun deck. Faroke was at a sleep over so Megan had gone for comfort sitting outside in a pair of leggings and a sports bra she constantly felt too hot. Nathan thought her years in the desert would have made her immune to the California warmth but even in early November Megan complained about being hot.

He returned with the sparking water and the sliced mango and pineapple Megan had been enjoying snacking on.

"Feeding me into being less grumpy," Megan asked rasing an eye brow.

"It works," Nathan replied.

Megan's phone buzzed she grabbed it seeing the text from Owen.

"They want to contact Teddy's twin brother," Megan said.

"Wait Teddy has a twin," Nathan said.

"He distanced himself from the family when she went to med school. His wife didn't like Teddy," Megan replied, "then he completely cut contact when she enlisted."

"How did you know this," Nathan asked.

"I heard a couple calls years ago with her begging him to talk to her. Messages she left pleading for him to answer," Megan said, "she follows him and his wife on Instagram and Twitter using a faked account. Her mommy Instagram is pretty convincing that she's just another mom. It's all the kids or cooking projects."

"She has a brother," Nathan said, "a twin."

"Jordan," Megan said, "she also got married in med school and divorced as a resident so I'm not sure of his last name. I've always known her as Altman."

"I knew that about her," Nathan said, "she told us what a pain in the ass it was to change her name back to Altman."

"She didn't want his name after what happened," Megan said.

"She never said why she ended it," Nathan said.

"She was a resident working like a resident and I think he cheated," Megan said, "but it's Teddy you never know. She hardly dated and never let guys in her room or went to there's. I think Owen was the exception and there's no way they did anything."

Megan tensed and sucked in a deep breath.

"Meg," Nathan asked.

"That hurt," Megan said.

"You okay," Nathan asked.

"I am," Megan agreed.

"Baby," Nathan asked.

"Kicking as usual," Megan replied.

"Do you think," Nathan asked.

"Let's see what happens don't get ahead of me," Megan declared.

Breakfast finished and the kids playing calmly for a few minutes at least Teddy and Owen grabbed her laptop.

"What do I even say," Teddy asked, "I can't send a resume."

"No," Owen said, "talk about the kids. Tell him about me."

"He won't respect our relationship," Teddy said, "he got really man when I divorced Paul."

"Teddy you've told me about your first marriage," Owen said, "25 years ago and he hit you."

"Jordan told me it was up to me to work it out and stop making Paul mad," Teddy replied, "that as the woman my dreams were second to Paul's. We met in medical school Paul knew from day one my goal was surgery. He's a pediatrician now. But my brother saw it as my job to please my husband no matter how abusive Paul was."

"No," Owen said, "Teddy that is on him. You do not need to justify your self to me or your brother. No one should hit in a relationship that's not being a man."

"I changed my name back to Altman after the divorce and got my med school diploma changed," Teddy said, "worked things out with my parents."

"Is Paul why you don't want a big wedding," Owen asked.

"I've had one," Teddy said, "with the puffy white dress and the two hundred guests and open bar."

"Teddy what if we wait," Owen asked, "you and I. I want to do this properly. Yea we've both had weddings before but this us our family this is it."

"Who would come," Teddy said, "the important people are your family and our kids. We'll have that. I don't want to plan that again. That was Thea. Teddy is too cool for it. I don't know if I can do that with out my mom."

"I think we wait and do it well," Owen said, "it doesn't have to be huge and you don't have to do white. Do we even know 200 people or like 200 people that much? Let's wait until we can have our friends have Robbins and Torres, Amanda. You should still have your people here. I want your people here."

"Jordan decided I couldn't have people. Only Amanda thought for herself," Teddy declared.

"Then we wait for Amanda,"Owen said.

"Owen," Teddy said, "what matters to me is you and our kids. The family we've built together."

"Teddy for the first time in my life this feels right and I want to celebrating that," Owen said, "waiting doesn't change my love for you or how much I want to marry you. Let's celebrate us."

"Can I think about it," Teddy asked.

"Always," Owen said.

"Today I'm going to be brave and write to Jordan," Teddy said.

"Do you want me to help," Owen asked.

"Maybe," Teddy agreed.

Teddy began to type just a short message hoping they would respond.

Dear Jordan, Faith and family,

I know it's been several years since I've written it called but I wanted to say hello and burry the hatchet. Jordan were twins we were together from the very beginning. I wanted to let you know that I'm doing well and am currently living and working in Landsthul Germany. My fiancé Owen and I have three children Leo is three and a half, Allison is two and Daniel is 8 weeks. Our children are our entire world which I'm sure you understand. Both Owen and I work for the US military here in Germany, enlisting is one of the best decisions I've ever made, without it I would never have met Owen. I'm a colonel now and Cheif of staff at the hospital here and still operating when I can. I'm home for now with my kids and go back to work in March, leaving my kids will be tough. Owen is a trauma surgeon and my Cheif of surgery but more importantly he's my best friend first everyday. We work with his sister and brother in law as well and our kids are all able to play together. I've been in Germany almost 12 years now and occasionally come stateside for various conferences. I like life in Germany with my family.

Jordan it's been 20 years since we lost dad it's time to reconnect. We were best friends until I started residency. I know we chose very different paths in life and don't always understand the others choices. We've done it your way for so long now let's try mine. We don't have to be the and can't be the family that does Sunday supper every week, I live in Germany and when our contacts end we will go to Seattle where Owens family is. With this pandemic we are unable to travel to see you as much as I would like to go visit and meet your kids and have you meet mine.

Jordan I want you to know that I am always here for you and your family and want you to be happy. I'm hoping that you read this and respond I want to hear that you're alright and doing well.

All our love,

Thea, Owen, Leo, Allison and Daniel.

"It's good but Thea," Owen asked.

"It's what my parents and brother called me," Teddy said, "Teddy was a nick name from summer camp as a college and med student."

"Why did you choose Teddy," Owen asked.

"I did after my divorce," Teddy said, "it was a new life. Camp used to make me really happy so I went with Teddy."

"Your Teddy," Owen said.

"I was Thea until I was 26," Teddy said, "I don't think I would respond to it any more after 20 some odd years. Owen I'm nearly 50. The fact that we have two kids naturally with out trying is a mirical. I was going to adopt before Allison because I didn't know if I could."

"You're only 48," Owen said.

"Ancient to be having kids," Teddy said.

"And look at everything else you've accomplished," Owen said, "you played down everything you've accomplished to your brother. The awards you've won for your service and dedication, the lives you've saved, discoveries you've made your research."

"It doesn't matter there," Teddy said, "they won't understand. You and the kids they understand."

"Send it," Owen said, "do you want them at our wedding?"

"No," Teddy said, "he hasn't been in my life for 20 years."

"Send it Teddy then should we go to the park," Owen asked.

"Park and bakery," Teddy said.

"We can go get your gingerbread," Owen said, "what is with you Leo and the gingerbread."

"It's delicious," Teddy replied.

"It's for Christmas," Owen replied.

"Year round deliciousness," Teddy declared, "and Megan and Riggs will be here for Christmas with their kids."

"My mom comes with them," Owen smiled.

"Our family," Teddy declared as she pressed send on the message to her brother.