Grateful thanks to Gabi2305 and RoaringMice for beta reading this story. As usual their suggestions have made it a whole lot better.
Chapter One
… an exemplary officer, a man dedicated to his job…
Archer's words were ricocheting off Trip's mind. He could not take his eyes off the torpedo casing into which, in a few moments, his best friend would be committed to the stars. He felt… breathless. As if the air had been sucked out of his lungs. Things had happened too fast.
… This crew knew that they could rely on him, he ran his department with a strong hand but also…
Just yesterday he'd given Malcolm a playful shove, as the man had rushed down the corridor to the Shuttlepod bay, worried that he'd be those oh-thirty-seconds late for his Captain. Little had he known that it would be the last time he'd see him. The two going to the compound on the trading outpost to purchase deuterium… a purchase that never took place. The knot in Trip's throat became painful. Malcolm had briefly turned and given him such an intense look and bitter-sweet smile… As if he'd known.
… Starfleet will always be grateful for…
Well, that knot served at least to tamp down the anger which was quickly expanding in Trip's chest, threatening to make its way up his windpipe and explode in an unwarranted string of foul words: the eulogy that Archer was giving was cold, almost detached. What was wrong with Jon? Was it so difficult to say they had lost a friend, for heaven's sake? Someone with whom they'd gone through thick and thin, someone who, during those terrible months in the Expanse had sacrificed himself beyond the call of duty to keep them safe, even compromising his strong sense of morality to be loyal to his Captain and the mission? Where was Jon's heart, dammit?
And now, let us stand in silence for a minute before we send our comrade Lieutenant Malcolm Reed onto his last journey.
Trip reached out and put a hand flat on the torpedo casing. He had hoped this day would never come. He had known, of course, that an Armoury Officer's job held that risk, but the man had seemed invincible, had come through so many near desperate situations…
Go in peace, my friend – he silently told him, picturing in his mind a smug Malcolm Reed pressing the torpedo launch button – if anyone can enjoy this send-off, that is you.
"Capt'n."
Trip quickened his pace to catch up with Archer, who, once all was finished, had left the Armoury in a hurry.
"Not now, Trip," Archer said, sparing him but a sideways glance.
"Not now? What do you mean not now? I think I've a right to know exactly what happened down there! You've been avoiding me ever since the shuttlepod docked," Trip spat out. Something was wrong, very wrong with the Captain, besides the obvious, and he could not figure out what. Jon stopped and turned to face him, and Trip almost bumped into him.
"A crazy accident, I already told you," Jon said, continuing in a tone devoid of any emotion. "There was a shootout between gangs and Malcolm was caught in the crossfire."
"And that's all you're gonna tell me?" Trip furrowed his brow. "Malcolm wouldn't have been caught unaware," he added, speaking more to himself than to Archer, "on away missions he was as sharp as a hawk…"
Archer heaved a deep sigh. "It happened fast." He put a hand on Trip's shoulder. "Look, Trip, I know how difficult this is for you, but let it rest. It was unforeseeable, that is all there's to say, unfortunately."
Trip felt a pang of sharp pain in his chest. "I didn't even get to say good-bye to him," he breathed out. "Phlox transported down and… he brought him back in that damn torpedo casing."
For a moment, Archer looked lost for words. "It's for the best," he eventually said, "he wasn't a pretty sight." Which only managed to send another stab of pain through Trip's heart.
"Have you called his parents?"
"Not yet."
Trip tried to engage Archer's shifting eyes. "Maybe I ought to call Madeline."
"Don't," Jon quickly put in. "Not just yet," he amended. "I'll let you know when Starfleet has informed the family."
Archer's hand tightened on Trip's shoulder, and that was it. Trip watched Jon go on his way and disappear around a bend in the corridor. He had wanted to lean on him, find comfort in shared grief, but apparently it would not happen. Yes, the Expanse had changed them. Some more than others.
I know, it's a short chapter, but I hope it's whetted your appetite. Looking forward to some reviews!