Preface
How did I get to this point? How did I let myself be set up for this complete and utter humiliation?
Because of him. I was stupid and juvenile, and I guess it was my fault for thinking he was any different from any other guy. Maybe it was my lack of experience with guys? He was my first kiss, and the first guy I had ever liked.
But I knew I didn't like him at this point. How could I?
After everything, I knew I loved him now, and that's why this hurt all the more. My heart is pounding, and I have been crying for so long that if I dared to open my eyes, they wouldn't open because of their swollenness. I was stupid for letting myself be embarrassed and disgraced this way. I couldn't believe that he let this happen to me, but I had a harder time believing that I would let not only him, but them treat me this way.
I was strong before I came here. I was strong, independent and I didn't need any one, because I was raised that way. I didn't love any boys, and I was never fooled. I'm still quick with words, and I can have an extremely quick response whenever you insult the way I look, act, or talk. But when you insult the way I love, which I never have before, I have no idea how to respond. It's never been a problem before. I never guessed that this would've happened to me, nobody would've. But it did, and it could happen to anyone.
Now, I have to learn how to fall out of love. And even though I hated him for this, I still loved him. I loved him more than I had ever loved anything in my entire life.
People say you can learn anything, as long as you practice it. Is that true of falling out of love? Can you really ever fall out of love?
I really, honestly hope so.