Violet browses through a rack of clothes, but she's oblivious. Her mind is stuck on telling Matty what she needs to tell him.
"This is disgusting," she hears, blinking out of her daze.
She sees Matty holding up an ugly cropped sweater.
"It's…' Matty pauses, looking at the sweater with revulsion.
"Puce," Violet finishes for him, her own expression much like his.
"Oh my god, it is," Matty agrees.
He puts it back on the rack and continues to browse.
"So are you going to tell me whatever it is that's driving you nuts right now?" he asks calmly.
Violet pauses for a moment, before a breath moves through her.
She shouldn't even be surprised. Matty knows her and notices everything. Even when he appears to be enthralled with shopping.
He meets her eye.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Yeah," Violet answers, fiddling with a hanger as she breaks eye contact. "I just…"
She swallows, glancing at him again.
"I'm gay, Matty."
Matthew keeps perusing through hangers.
"I know, babe," he replies, holding up a black hooded sweater. "This has you written all over it."
He holds the sweater up to Violet's body. She's just staring at him.
She doesn't know what she was expecting as his reaction, but she almost wants to laugh at how blasé he is about it.
He notices her expression.
"What?"
"You knew," she mumbles, not really a question.
"I've seen you look at Cate Blanchett," he says.
A laugh escapes Violet's throat, seemingly sending a wave of calm throughout her body. Then she pauses, lost in thought; thinking of all the Cate Blanchett movies she's watched with him.
So many things make so much more sense to her now.
"We're taking this, yes?" Matty refers to the sweater, hanging it over his shoulder as he keeps looking at things.
Another light laugh comes from Violet, and Matty stops, turning to face her.
"I know you, Vi. And I love you."
Violet swallows, feeling that familiar tingle of tears that seems to be a constant thing lately.
Before she can reply, Matty uses his free arm to pull her into a tight hug.
When he releases her, he kisses her cheek, smiles, and holds up his hand where several hangers are hooked.
"Let's hit the fitting rooms. Then I'm gonna need to eat. Sushi?"
He's already walking towards the change rooms.
Violet smiles to herself as she starts to follow. It feels like another weight has been lifted off her chest.
"Wait. Let me see the price tag on that sweater," she says, hurrying to catch up.
"What's your second elective?" Kaya asks.
The three of them are sprawled over the sectional in Violet's living room.
"I'm staying in ASL," Violet replies, as she scrolls.
They're choosing their classes for school, trying to get as many together as possible.
"I think it's amazing that you know sign language," Matty says, tapping a pen against his chin. "But when are you really gonna use it?"
"Mm I dunno. I'm sure it'll come in handy," she answers.
"I guess that's the best choice, when you already speak the languages the school offers," Matty says thoughtfully. "I'm taking fashion design, obviously."
Kaya makes a face.
"Well I'm not into either of those," she mumbles.
"What about debate?" Violet asks. "You've definitely got the head for it."
"Oh, you would crush debate," Matty agrees.
"Gianna takes debate," Kaya grumbles.
"Who cares?" Violet waves dismissively. "It might suck to be around her, but think of how good it'll feel to beat her. Repeatedly."
Kaya's expression lifts as she considers this.
"Yeah, if Gianna was as good at everything as she thinks she is, she wouldn't have been on academic probation last semester because of her chem grades."
Violet and Kaya stare, wondering where he got that info.
"XOXO," Violet teases, referring to his gossiping.
"Except the only people I tell are you two, and thus, my gossip dies with us," Matty shrugs a shoulder, smiling at them.
The front door opens, revealing Emily and James.
"Hey," Emily smiles, shrugging out of her jacket. "What are you guys up to?"
"Class schedules," Violet replies, having a last look at her selections.
"I hope Model UN is on there," Emily says, in a tone that suggests 'hope' is an understatement. "You should be taking that class."
"Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to," Violet replies serenely, closing her laptop.
"Violet," Emily tilts her head at her.
"Emily," Violet is a mirror image of her mother.
Emily scoffs a laugh, setting a bag of groceries on the island.
"We talked about this," she begins, unpacking things.
"Well, technically you talked about it," Violet recalls. "To James, mostly. I was really just a bystander."
"What are you thinking of taking instead?" James asks, setting more bags on the island.
"AP Government," Violet answers, setting her laptop aside.
"Well that's…kind of similar," James concedes slowly.
"Kind of not," Emily disagrees, hand on her hip as she turns to look at Violet. "Why not just take UN?"
Violet exhales, stretching.
"The credits are different," Violet explains. "And Model UN would make my Tuesdays and Thursdays an hour and a half longer. And I like to spend the bare minimum of required time in that place."
"That place is the best private school in the state," Emily reminds her.
"Doesn't make majority of the people any less insufferable," Violet retorts.
Emily chuckles, shaking her head.
"Maybe you should be taking debate," Kaya mutters.
"Now there's an idea," James grins, stepping towards the island to help Emily.
"Except AP US government basically includes bits of both of those within the semester," Violet says.
"Oh," Kaya and James say in unison, as Emily and Matty share similar expressions of being impressed.
"Yeah," Violet breathes, her fingers forming a steeple.
After a moment she turns to see the grocery haul better.
"Did you get Oreos?" she asks.
James grabs a bag and tosses it to her, as Emily interjects.
"Ah ah. I'm about to make dinner."
"Excellent," Violet mumbles, holding a cookie between her teeth as she passes the bag to Kaya and Matty.
"I don't think ye need to worry about this lot cleaning their plates," James winks at Emily.
She rolls her eyes, but hides a smile.
"You're a bad influence," she mutters, turning towards the fridge.
James grins, reaching for her and pulling her to him.
"Aye," he agrees with a devilish look.
"Ugh," Violet makes a face. "Newlyweds."
Emily and James laugh, but stay embraced. They share a kiss before James releases her.
"Matty, Kaya, are you joining us?" Emily calls out.
They both accept the invitation, stashing away their laptops.
"Wanna watch a movie?" Violet asks, turning the tv on.
"Ocean's 8 is on Netflix," Matty announces.
Violet's eyes dart over to his, and a slow grin spreads across Matty's face.
"Obviously we're watching it," Kaya says, getting more comfortable.
"Obviously," Violet agrees.
The three of them share a laugh as Emily comes to sit on the arm of the couch.
"Oh, I've wanted to see this," she says.
She's always been a Sandra Bullock fan.
"I would kill for the clothes in this movie," Kaya says.
"I would kill for Cate Blanchett's apartment in this movie," Matty states.
"I would let Cate Blanchett kill me," Violet adds.
She says it without thinking, and quickly feels her cheeks start to warm as she realizes that she said it out loud.
But Matty and Kaya are laughing, and even her parents chuckle, and Violet feels a new kind of relief at being able to just say what she feels without trying to censor herself. She doesn't feel embarrassed and she doesn't regret saying it out loud. She feels like her, and that's better than anything else right now.