All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc., are the intellectual property of the respective author. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer (and the motion picture Savages). No copyright infringement is intended.

*All the mistakes are my own*

Chapter Thirty-Nine

As the silence stretches, Jasper confirms that Edward was telling the truth. He plans on leaving us for a year. I should be shocked, but when things with my boys seem like they're going to work out, here comes another hurdle. What's upsetting is the secrecy. Why do they choose to hide things from me? I'm not a fragile piece of China. I won't break while handling. They need to treat me as their equal.

"Well?" I prompt Jasper to speak.

"I should've known he would fold like a deck of cards," he says with a chuckle. "That guy can't say no to you."

"So it's true then? You're going to Cambodia for a year? Really?" I'm trying not to yell, but his blasé attitude is pissing me off.

"Bean," Jasper says, fucking stalling.

"No, don't do that, okay? I'm mad right now. The best thing you can do is tell me the truth. Why are you going away for a year?"

The cat's out of the bag, and he sighs in defeat. "My uncle needs me to help to rebuild a village and to get a school together. It's a great opportunity. So I said yes without thinking."

My heart still pounds hard against my chest, but gradually as the adrenaline ceases, it returns to its regular beat.

"How long have you two known about this?" I ask as my accusing eyes lock on Edward's. He has the decency to look guilty.

"Only a few days," Jasper says. "We were going to tell you."

"After the summer, I know," I say, and sadness robs me of my anger. "When do I stop being told about things happening in our relationship and start being asked?"

Jasper stutters. "Asked? What do you mean?"

I wish Edward didn't get me high. My thoughts are so muffled and foggy.

By the grace of God, it comes out clearly. "You're in a relationship, Jazz. You can't make decisions solely based on your wants. Did you even ask Edward before accepting?"

"No," Jasper answers slowly, but he's not getting it. "Look, if he had a problem, he would've told me."

"But you knew I would have a problem, so you avoided telling me, right?"

Jasper sighs. "I knew you would be upset."

"Oh, I'm furious."

"It's only a year. We'll still talk and see each other."

"Not even the point," I say with a frustrated growl.

Edward gives me a small, sympathetic smile - But he's not off the hook. I'll deal with him later.

"Baby, what do you want me to say?" Jasper says as a plea. He's tired and not wanting to go into this tonight, but I don't care.

"Remember how I agreed to Charlie's terms? Six months of disconnect without even discussing it with you? How pissed off were you?"

"What you wanted was radio silence, Bean," he defends.

I laugh out of exasperation. "And you want to double that time. So what if we Zoom or talk on the phone, you will not be here. Your absence will be felt every day. How do you think we'll survive it, Jasper?"

He falls silent again.

Edward sits next to me on the couch and sets his hand on my knee. There's a sudden alliance with us. We're the forgotten. Jasper goes off and plays savior to the world and leaves the loves of his life behind. When are we allowed to be selfish?

"What are you saying?" Jasper asks. There's hurt and panic in his voice, and it kills me.

Ugh.

My righteousness evaporates. "Look, baby, you're tired and I'm high. Neither of us can talk about this rationally. So, please, after your finals, come home. We'll talk then, okay?"

"Okay," he says.

My sober head is waning now, all the adrenaline used, and I feel my eyes drift. "I love you."

"I love you," Jasper says. "Can you hand the phone over to Edward?"

"Mmmhmm," I hum and drop the phone in Edward's lap.

My whole body feels heavy, and I fall to the side on the couch. Everything's fading as I relax deeper and deeper. It's not long before the world goes black.

()()()

Sixteen hours later…

Jasper sits across from Edward and me at our dining room table as we wait for him to explain himself.

We have been this way for ten minutes now.

He came right home after his last test, and we picked him up at the airport. It was a quiet ride to the beach house. My subtle anger, Jasper's anxiety, and Edward's amusement pinged off each other, and the emotion got thick.

All morning, I thought about him leaving for a year and what it would do to us. We had the potential to be an unbreakable trio, and interrupting it too soon would be a mistake. One, I feel, we wouldn't be able to repair.

I wasn't above throwing a tantrum to get my way.

"Look, we're not saying you can't go fucking save the world," Edward says, and I open my mouth to argue with him, but he quickly shuts me down. "But right now is not the right time."

"I know our business might suffer," Jasper says as if that's the only thing that will suffer.

Edward feels me spiraling and puts a hand on my back to keep me focused. "You're the cook, man. I can't do this business without the product. If you go away for a year, our business will not only suffer, but it'll die."

"Yeah," Jasper says more somberly, and he's wavering. Then, finally, his eyes lock on mine. "And what about us, Bean? Will we die?"

How do I answer that objectively? Falling out of love with him feels impossible, but a year's a long time, and anything can happen.

"Are you willing to risk it?" I ask.

He replies quietly. "No."

Standing up, I go over to Jasper. He leans back in his chair and offers his lap to me. I sit down and wrap my arms around his neck and shoulders. There's a calmness coming over me as he rests his head against my chest.

"We can't go off making rash decisions about our lives anymore. You, me, and Edward, we're too entwined. I love you, but you are out of your mind if you thought going to Cambodia for a year was going to fly. I think you knew that too. Why else would you try to hide it from me?"

Jasper grips me tighter. "I wasn't trying to hide it from you. We thought it was best to wait. Give you these three months with no worries."

Edward stays quiet, but he tells me everything. I know Jasper had to talk Edward into keeping it from me.

"Bad idea, man," he'd said to him. "Bean will castrate us both."

But Jasper kept saying, "No, no. Trust me. Telling her now will just make things more complicated."

For him, maybe.

"Babe, I know you got that itch to be a force in this world like a serial killer, but you're needed here. We need you," I say and run my fingers through his hair. He hums at my touch. "You have to walk before you run."

He nuzzles himself more into my boobs. "You're right. I was excited about the possibility of creating something for people who have nothing, but I need to stay here and create some peace in people's lives."

"And money," Edward says. "You'll need some capital to change the world. You can't do it on sheer desire alone."

"Now it sounds so foolish," Jasper says.

"No, it sounds wonderful," I say because it's true. My boy is going to heal this world. "The foolish part was not asking Edward and me if we were okay with you leaving for a year."

"I know, but when he asked, I thought about the time I blew him off, and I didn't want to disappoint him again."

My eyes look at Edward for some help, and silently he mimics Jasper flying off to Cambodia last year. Then I realized who stopped him from going.

Me.

Guilt comes on fast, and it sucks. The last thing I wanted was to hold Jasper back- oh shit, what if he resents me? How can he love someone if they block him from true happiness? I can't make him stay here. He has to - My rambling thoughts cut short when Edward clears his throat. Our eyes meet again. He shakes his head and tells me not to go there.

I can hear him now: "Setting Jasper back a few years isn't going to kill him. We have years to accomplish the world. What's important now is us. We are the only thing that's endangered."

"Look, I'll fucking compromise with you," Edward says to break up stiff emotion. "I'll agree to go to Cambodia with you and Bean for eight weeks."

Jasper grips my waist and sits forward, completely taken back. "Are you serious?"

Edward nods, almost begrudgingly. "But after eight weeks, you stay local for the next four years. That will give us enough time to build the business."

I'm too stunned to respond.

Jasper doesn't think about it. "That's a deal," he says.

"And one more thing." Edward reads me so clearly. "When you go off to save the world, you get four months a year. That's without discussion. If it goes beyond that, you sit down with me and Bean and you ask, then we'll talk about it. Is that understood?"

Jasper pulls back and thinks over the terms. I hold my breath and pray that he agrees. In my opinion, it's fair and gives us all a say in the destiny of our lives. Edward's face is unreadable, but I know he made this deal for me. He knows I wouldn't cope with Jasper's absence. My boys would survive. They have both done it so many times before. When Edward was in Afghanistan for years, they rarely talked and had one visit in San Fran. It was effortless for them, but their bond was strong and had years of growth to secure it.

I needed those same years.

"Okay," Jasper says. He turns to look up at me. "What do you think?"

I sputter, "Um." When you're consistently not consulted, it catches you off guard, and it's hard to come up with a response when you finally are asked. Yet, I am a quick study and see this as an opportunity to make some demands. "I think that Edward's on the right track, but there's room to fine tune a few things."

Jasper chuckles a little and smiles. "And that would be?"

"Your four months will not be in a row. You've spent most of our relationship gone. I can agree to those months, but not all at once," I say.

It's a moot point, considering he'll be local for the next four years, but if I don't strike while the iron is hot now, will I ever get the chance again?

"Okay, I agree to both your terms, but can I make one request?" Jasper glances up at me and over at Edward. His eyes have never looked so blue. He takes the silence of the room as a yes. "My folks are having a graduation party for me next weekend and I want you both to come as my date."

"Together?" I gesture between us three, "Together, together? As in, everyone knows we're poly?"

Edward narrows his eyes. "You want us to come out."

"Yeah." Jasper's enthusiasm fades. "Why not?"

It's like a projector displaying their thoughts.

A list of cons flies through Edward's head as Jasper's only seeing one pro.

"It's one thing to be dating the same girl, but you know how I feel about people knowing about us," Edward says.

"Yes, you're closeted, and I've respected that for a long time," Jasper says.

Edward laughs, but it's mocking. "I'm not gay."

I expect there to be an argument, but there's silence.

What we have is complicated, but I'm straight, in the most 'straightforward' terms, and my boys are bisexual. It's silly to apply such labels because our relationship is unique to us. Our triad shouldn't be shameful, but people see us as freaks. I want to laugh and cry. So what's considered conventional and normal? Who makes that decision? As long as it's consensual and there's love and respect, the players should define the relationship, not the spectators.

Jasper nods sympathetically. "One day, you'll stop giving a shit about what people think."

Edward pushes from the table abruptly. "Just because you're the exception, doesn't mean it's the rule."

Jasper tries to grab his arm as he storms past us, it happens too quickly, and Edward's out of reach.

The negotiations are over.

The war, however, is just beginning.

Jasper taps my thigh gently to signal me to stand. I get off his lap, and we both go after Edward. He's in our room and dressing down to surf.

There's a strange energy in the air. I don't know what it is or how to respond. My first reaction is to hold Edward, kiss him until it all goes away, but Jasper knows ignoring the issue won't solve anything.

So he talks. "What are you doing?"

Edward doesn't glance up as he puts his leg through the wet suit. "What the fuck does it look like?"

"It looks like you're running away," Jasper says.

Edward scoffs, but the slightest move I make catches his eyes. He's afraid if I touch him, it'll break his resolve to flee. That's a powerful feeling to have over someone. I nearly break my silent vow to give Jasper the floor.

"Look," Jasper says, tightening his grip on my hand as he moves us further into the room. "We're at the cusp of realization here and you can't just hide from it."

"Lay off the Kush, man. I'm not into that new age bullshit." Edward puts his hand on the sliding glass door.

I slip up. "Baby, wait!" Edward groans as his shoulders slump, but he has his back facing us, and I can't see his eyes. "Just wait for a minute," I say.

"Why?"

Jasper takes us another step forward. "Two words."

Edward tenses.

He knows.

"The Bahamas," I say.

All these memories of being free to love and fuck one another without labels or judgments. It was so early in our relationship too. We've grown a lot, but somehow, it's like we've forgotten how to keep it simple.

Edward turns, and we're an inch away from him. He sucks in a breath. "As much as we want it to be, Laguna isn't the Bahamas and I'm not ready to be put under a microscope."

"Maybe one day," Jasper hedges.

Edward shrugs, like it could be tomorrow, or maybe never.

I can't resist anymore and place a hand on his bare chest. His heart speeds up. The warmth of his skin encourages me, and the next thing I touch is his lips. They're stiff at first, but then he puts a hand on my neck and responds with intensity. When our kiss deepens and two tongues meet, I know surfing is the last thing on his mind. All I can think of is the Bahamas.

I pull my lips away from Edward and turn to Jasper. He's more than eager to kiss me. His mouth captures mine, but everything about him is strikingly different. Edward's the jagged rock that slices me open and Jasper's the soft sand between my toes.

I need to see these two men collide.

Breaking away from Jasper, I place my hand on the back of my boys' heads and push them together. They aren't hesitant about my demands and kiss deeply. Their intimacy takes my breath away. There isn't awkwardness in the way their lips move. It's natural and perfect. They go well with each other as they do with me, but their dynamic is different. Edward's more tender while Jasper's the aggressive one. I watch in awe as the tingling in my body begins to spread. Out from the tips of my fingers and up to my neck, making the hairs stand on end.

They both blindly reach out and bring me into their passion.

Edward has a firm grip on my waist and squeezes me closer. Jasper weaves his fingers into my hair.

It's sensual, the way they handle me, but when everything becomes too much and I whimper. "Oh, God."

My boys break away from each other and turn their gazes on me. I take one breath, and then they attack every bit of me. Edward has my lips, and Jasper has the side of my neck. They're pushing up against my body, and the further and further they lead, the sooner I fall back into bed. We're in a frenzy, fingers on each other's clothes, trying to peel off each layer as quickly as possible. It's chaotic. I lose track of who I'm kissing, who's kissing me, and which boy enters me first.

I gasp at the contact. My eyes spring open and meet a deep green. Edward reads me, inside and out, and puts a calm hand on the side of my face. He thrusts deep, and our bodies melt into one. My legs lift with the grasp of his hand, and Edward shifts my hips, allowing him to sink further. He growls as my body tightens around him. I grab his strained biceps as he slowly pulls out, languidly teasing me with his head, slipping and sliding between my sore lips. The pleasure of this friction overwhelms me, but my desire for more has me searching for my other boy.

Jasper whispers into my ear, "I'm right here, baby."

I turn my head, and Jasper kisses me in a way that makes my heart skip a beat. The way he holds my attention and entangles his tongue with mine tells me how much I belong to him. There's no other girl who could handle his heart—just me. And I want to feel him. This need of mine gets communicated without being spoken out loud. Finally, Edward understands and removes himself from between my legs. It's cold without him. He slides his hands up my thighs to keep me warm, but everything sets ablaze when Jasper breaks from me and takes Edward into his mouth. It's sexy as hell. The movement, the suction, and the sounds both my boys make are unreal. I can't handle the stimuli and rub my throbbing clit. It helps ease the pain. Edward's eyes are closed, but he has his hands on Jasper's head, leading his crazy, fast tempo. Jasper holds onto Edward by the waist, keeping his unstable balance on the bed. I watch, fully absorbed by them. But, soon, nothing I am doing is comparable to my boys' touch, and the need grows.

I jump up, quickly getting to my knees and taking a direct hold of Edward. My mouth is on his, and he responds with fire, nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth. Edward releases Jasper, all his focus on me now, and moves his hand to my ass. He dips down, teasing a finger or two and just playing around the edges, but gently, he inserts one into my butt hole. I yelp with surprise. My Sailor likes what he does to me and increases the pressure.

It feels strange but good, and I plead for more.

"Come here," Jasper says, fighting for my attention. He replaces Edward's lips with his own, kissing me deeply. I can taste myself and the salty precum of Edward on his tongue.

"Mmm," I hum, seeking him out more.

Jasper happily obliges and keeps me busy as Edward continues to penetrate me from behind. Then, finally, I come undone when a thumb encircles my clit. The pleasure reverberates throughout me. I'm moaning, barely hanging on, as the tremors in my limbs move to my center.

I come hard, but don't tell a soul.

Only a tiny moan gives me away.

"Our turn." Jasper smiles against my mouth and shoves his hips into me.

He's more than ready.

I drop my hands to the bed and get on all fours. Jasper caresses my ass as he slides in behind me. The anticipation of what's to come has me short for breath. Edward hands him a lube from the drawer. There's a moment where all I can hear is my pounding heart. I bite my lip as Jasper slowly and gently eases into me. The tension of stretching me is overwhelming. I whimper with slight discomfort. Jasper pauses as he waits for my body to adjust to his size. I nod my head for him to continue. Then, inch by inch, he crawls inside me until his hips are pressed tightly against my ass.

"Fuck!" My head falls to the mattress as tears roll from my eyes.

"Baby?" Jasper's unsure, and he moves to pull out. "We can stop."

"No." I breathe. "I just need…" My eyes look over to Edward. He's to my right, just stroking himself, and I lick my lips. The distraction I need is a foot away. Edward shuffles to me, and I open my mouth. There's no hesitation. I take him entirely as Jasper fills me.

"Jesus," Edward moans as he grips my head and directs me. He goes deep and hits my throat. I suck harder than ever.

Jasper's spreading my ass cheeks as he fucks me relentlessly from behind.

Both their orgasms are building, which drives me to rock back into Jasper and grip Edward tighter. I want their cum more than anything. They're trying to hold back. I know how they think: Bean gets two first, us later. But I know how I want to come. It involves a tongue on my clit and a finger curled inside me.

"Baby," Jasper says as he thrusts harder into me. "So good, fuck!"

Edward pulls my mouth away from him and forces my gaze up. "I want that pussy."

I gulp and shiver. "Okay."

Jasper slows and has a silent conversation with Edward.

The next thing I know, Edward is on his back, and I'm hovering over him, slowly lower myself onto his cock. He slips in easily. Then, thrusting upward, Edwards hits me so deep it hurts my stomach. I grimace in pain. He grins like the asshole he is, and I playfully slap his chest.

Edward shrugs.

Yes, I think. You're a monster.

"Don't be mad, babe." Edward places his hands on the back of my neck and pulls me down to his lips. "You just ride me."

Jasper takes the opportunity to slide back into me.

I fit them both so well, but my eyes go wide as they begin to move. The friction, the wholeness, and warmth of their bodies against mine feel amazing. I'm in awe of the thin skin that separates them. They feel each other with each thrust as they feel me. My thighs quiver as Edward and Jasper pick up their speed and fuck me like crazy.

"Shit!" I cry out as my boys become more fierce and rough.

"Look at me, Bean," Edward says. I gaze down into his eyes. They're dark, hypnotic green. "Can you feel that?" He slams his hips up forcefully, making it clear that there's no condom, and he plans to come inside me.

That trust he's giving and the risk he's taking turns me on.

"Oh, my god!" I fall to his chest as he wraps his arms around me.

Jasper ping-pongs off Edward, quickening his pace and stretching me to my limits.

Our moans bounce off walls and to the ears of our neighbors. I get louder without a fuck to give. These boys and their love for me make me dizzy, and as I squeeze around them, I know they're close. My boys are going to release everything into me, and my arousal intensifies. My fingers reach down between our sweat-covered bodies to rub my clit. But Edward and Jasper won't let me do anything on my own. As Jasper pulls out, Edward flips me over, pushing my legs apart and up to my chest. His mouth is on me, licking and sucking.

I'm screaming, "Oh, fuck. Oh God."

The exact way I wanted is coming to life. My eyes drift close as I grip the sheets and feel my orgasm wash over me. Then as quickly as it comes, it soon becomes too much, and I can't stop the tingles. My hands are on Edward's head, and I'm pushing him away.

He chuckles as he nips my inner thigh and then collapses on top of me.

Jasper throws himself into the pile and falls to my right side. "Damn," he says and drapes his arm over my chest.

"Yeah," I say. "Damn."

We're all panting, exhausted, and relaxed. It's peaceful. Simply fucking heaven.

But then my stomach ruins it all and growls loudly.

My boys laugh.

"Typical Bean," Jasper says as he picks himself up and kisses me chastely on the lips. "What will it be, Mexican or Thai?"

Edward and I answer together: "Pizza."

()()()

When it's just us, everything is perfect. The bungalow near Hillcrest Drive is small, but it's cozy and ours. I spend the beginning of my summer waking up early to go surfing with Edward. We have breakfast and coffee on the beach. In the afternoon, Jasper takes me to a Nursery, and we pick out the rarest plant. Then, all three of us meet back up to have chips and salsa, a large cheese quesadilla, and bottomless margaritas for lunch. Afterward, we drive along the coast, enjoying the salty air and the elegant beauty that is California. On Wednesdays, it's house hunting day, and we try to pick out the oceanfront property that will be ours once the business is in full swing. In the late afternoon, we sit out on the patio and smoke the newest batch of Kush. That usually leads to hot sex. We have dinner at the trendiest bar and eat the best food. When the stars come out, Edward and Jasper light a bonfire, and we sit there and talk all night. By the time my head hits the pillow, I am out until morning, and then I repeat the day.

Sometimes my day varies. When the ocean is too choppy, Edward takes me to visit his nana. Those rare times are my favorite. And you see, everything is calm and blissful. It's when we mingle in the world that things get messy.

Like for example, Jasper's graduation party.

It was touted as the most significant event in Laguna, and the so-called tribe showed up in droves.

Esme and Carlisle scheduled it the week before Jasper's graduation because they were in town. Sadly, they couldn't watch their only child pick up his degrees due to their business. They spent a lot of time in New York, Chicago, and Italy and barely saw the west coast. The great thing about Jasper's parents is that they didn't hover. They gave him a long leash and trusted that he would make good decisions. For the most part, Esme and Carlisle raised their boy well. He's intelligent, kind, and motivated to make positive changes in this world. The only thing they disapproved of was his friendship with Edward. It was difficult for them to see past my Sailor's scars, brooding mood, and violent tendencies. Their view of him was one-dimensional and cartoonish. Carlisle and Esme didn't bear witness to Edward, who doted on his grandma or how he protected me. I wanted to shake them silly and demand they give him an honest chance.

I think that's where my head was when the evening started.

There was no plan to harass them.

In hindsight, I jumped in too soon. It might have been better to talk with Carlisle and Esme away from their guests and possibly alone, but when I'm determined, my focus narrows, and I can't stop the shit that comes out of my mouth.

"Let's try to calm down," Jasper says as he tries to tame the angry beast that paces in front of me. "This shit is salvageable."

Edward scoffs. "How?"

"You know my parents," Jasper says. "They'll take it all in, digest the information, and come to terms with it all."

"Come to terms with what? Your parents hate me." Edward throws a hurtful gaze my way. "I told you both that I wasn't ready to be out!"

"I didn't tell them anything about you and Jasper," I defend, practically on the verge of tears. We're standing on the beach a few yards from the Whitlock mansion. Everything just blew up at once, and now we're all suffering the fallout. "You have to believe me."

"I do believe you, Bean, but..."

"But what?"

Edward snaps. "How does Carlisle just magically fucking deduce that I'm in a relationship with his son?"

I cover my head with my hands as the migraine pounds. "Please, don't yell at me."

My heart is in so much agony.

The last thing I would ever do is betray their trust.

"Fuck!" Edward sighs as my body quakes with emotion. "Babe," he holds me close. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know."

And I wasn't lying. The conversation I had with Esme was innocent. I spent nearly an hour talking Edward up and telling her how great he's been and everything. Not once did I mention my boys as a couple. What did I say, though? Fuck, why couldn't I remember?

Jasper, sensing my inner turmoil, puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently. "Why don't you try walking us through it."

"From the beginning," Edward adds.

"Okay," I say and try hard to remember every fucking second. "I guess it all started when I was helping Esme make Bruschetta."

AN: I am a cliffy hoor. You know, like how they end every episode of Loki. I get so frustrated, but at least we get a hit every Wednesday. God, I wish I was that consistent. Anyway. Love you all. Hope to see you soon. And I promise we are heading somewhere great.