Agnes
Part 14
Author's Note: Reviews are always appreciated. I was listening to Dave Matthew's Idea of You while writing this and I think it fits nicely with their relationship especially the line "it's why you can say 'you know what I mean'," which reminded me of the Bino episode. And the line "You never dreamed we'd end up this way" from the Godwin episode.
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Don Ressler walked down the small street looking for the bookstore with Agnes and 3 security guards. The name of the bookstore was called Pappir and, according to google, had a large selection of children's books. Don and Agnes had been doing this all day, walking from small shop to small shop in search of more clothes, shoes, dolls, books, games, and sporting equipment.
Iceland was not cheap. After googling the exchange rate, Don discovered he had paid over $100 for just the top part of some merino wool long johns, he stopped looking at the prices on anything he or Agnes bought. He liked that he had no real idea how much a krone was in US dollars when he looked at price tags and just bought what they needed.
And, he had to admit, Red was right, it was not warm in Iceland in the summer. He was wearing a wool sweater and Agnes had on a wool sweater and a down puffer vest with a light pair of mittens and a light hat. They had shoes but really needed more of a boot.
"Hot chocolate?" Agnes asked as they passed another café.
"No Olivia," Don said. "If we stop for that, we won't get to the bookstore."
Agnes sighed.
"Please daddy?" Agnes asked.
Don had heard Agnes call him dad effortlessly in public and was still surprised 2 days later that the words caught him off guard. He had explained the importance of their new names on the way to Iceland and Agnes had nodded agreeably. He was surprised she hadn't slipped up yet.
"After?" Agnes said, the negotiation beginning.
Don sighed. He had made the mistake of taking her out to walk around and get a treat on their first night there. Now, the child was addicted to the actual pot of melted chocolate that were brought to you. Hot chocolate in Iceland was taken to a whole new level that made drinking packaged hot chocolate after this seem unlikely.
"Maybe we'll get them to-go," Don said. The drive back to their place from downtown Reykjavik was another 25 minutes, he had done a quick calculation that equalled Agnes getting overtired and not going to bed on time, and determined take out was the only way.
"Ten books," Don said as they approached the store. Agnes jumped up and cheered and Don thought maybe he had over played his hand.
Another 30 minutes later they were finally emerging from the shop with 10 books weighing down their bags as they walked to the car. Don loaded all the bags in the back of the jeep through the hatch and looked at Agnes standing there, starring at another café.
"Fine," he said before he grabbed her hand and crossed the street.
They entered the café with loud vibey music and stood in line. Don kept looking around hoping to see the symbol for take-out or to-go as they liked to call it here. No little symbol of hands passing something to another person.
When they got to the front Don smiled at the woman. "Do you have to-go?"
"No," the woman replied.
Don sighed and looked down at Agnes.
"Could I take a regular mug but bring you back the mug washed tomorrow?" Don asked, thinking it was the most ridiculous request he had ever made.
"Of course," the woman shrugged as if it was a request made all the time.
"Really?" Don asked.
She shrugged again, made up the hot chocolate, and handed it to Don upon payment. He carried it to the car for Agnes and drank a little off the top so she wouldn't spill it and they made their way home with the security detail following. It had been hard convincing Agnes that it was bedtime when it was bright like 3pm almost all day. Eventually he had one of the security people pick him up some blackout blinds to hang and bought Agnes an eye mask to block out any light. Tonight, was the first night they were trying the eye mask.
"How does it feel on your eyes?" Don asked her as she snuggled down in her bed with the eye pillow over her eyes.
"It smells nice," Agnes said.
"Lavender to help you sleep," Don said before he lifted up a corner of the mask and looked down at her. "Goodnight, Agnes."
"Goodnight, daddy," Agnes said with a smile.
Don smiled. She didn't have to call him that here, when no one was around, but maybe it made things easier for her. Maybe she needed to not switch back and forth? Don wasn't sure, but he also wasn't about to correct her.
Don got up off the bed and walked out into the hallway and down the creaky stairs of the barn house they were staying in.
When he made it to the kitchen, he leaned with his hips back against the counter and read her messages. She didn't know where they were and he couldn't tell her that he was 4 hours farther ahead in time then DC.
Can you call me after Agnes is in bed? I'm good as of your 8:30 pm. Your mom and Designing Women
Don did a quick calculation, 8:30 DC was 12:30 am Reykavik. It was just after 10 so he'd have to wait to call. Don laughed as he thought of the story he had once told Liz about his mother. That she watched designing women religiously and thought they were the height of sophistication and actually took an Interior Design course at the local college because she had been inspired by the show. The only result in the Ressler home was Don and Robby coming home one night to a pale purple living room and the brown sofa that was perfectly comfortable being replaced by a floral fainting couch.
Don, if you can only call quick tonight, that's okay too. I know the travel has been hard. Your secret tattoo.
Don burst out laughing and snorted when he read that and thought back to him and his friend Kyle learning about prison tattooing from a TV show and wanting to replicate it. He had a small star, that didn't even look like a star anymore, but looked more like a small mole, just above his ankle from their attempt at prison tattooing that ended up with him mom putting him on antibiotics for 2 weeks and getting a tetanus booster.
It doesn't matter the time, can you call me? Matcha Impressive
That last one wasn't as funny as the first two but did poke fun at her only attempt to make matcha tea one night and the pot that needed to be thrown out afterwards. She said her ability to ruin any food or beverage was impressive.
Don sighed. He found it hard to withhold information from Liz. He also found it challenging to tell her about their days without telling her where they were, which made their days incredibly unique. He knew Reddington was right about keeping this information from her, but that didn't mean he needed to like it. Don went to his bedroom and sat down at the desk which looked onto a plain white wall. Don opened the app and texted her.
Are you okay for a call? Stray lilac panties
The phone rang within a minute and Don answered the call smiling at her.
"Sorry, it's been a day," Don said. "Agnes is out with Chuck now but she won't be back until bedtime and you seemed eager to talk."
"With all the travel, I'm sure she's happy to be out," Liz said, looking for crumbs.
Don just smiled at her.
"She's okay?" Liz asked.
"Yeah, not sick or anything, but wound up a little," Don said, careful with his words.
"How are you adjusting to the new place?" Liz asked him. "You feel safe from Townsend?"
"We do, and it's nice here," Don said with a shrug.
She sighed and looked at him with a look that said 'you aren't giving an inch, are you?'
"Nice play on words with the matcha impressive," Don chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
"It was my greatest defeat," Liz smiled at him.
"How are things going with you and Reddington?" Don asked.
"Good, he's a little depressed, I think," Liz said.
"Why?" Don asked.
"I don't know," Liz said.
"I wonder if it's seeing the end with Townsend and knowing that he no longer has an enemy quite like that," Don noted.
"Maybe," Liz said, still not sure.
Don nodded.
"How are you doing?" Don asked her.
"I'm good," Liz said.
"You seem like something's up…all the texts," Don said, worried.
"I see an end, and I'm happy for it," Liz said. "But I feel letdown because I didn't achieve it on my own."
Don nodded.
"I just want to feel like I'm not always in his shadow," Liz noted.
"He casts a pretty big shadow," Don said. "And, he has helped a lot. He's helping you Liz, not doing it for you."
"I know," Liz said.
Don knew there was nothing he could say to bring her comfort in that moment.
"I wanted to talk with you about Agnes," Don said and then, noting the alarm on her features quickly added. "And the future."
Liz nodded, her expression still somewhat guarded. Truthfully, she was concerned he was going to say all of this time as a single parent had made him re-think getting more involved with her and Agnes.
"Liz, I think we need to make this arrangement permanent," Don said.
The shocked expression on her face told him he had somehow mis-stepped.
"I mean, if you are okay with…"
"You raise Agnes and I…?" Liz started.
"No, no, not that at all," Don said.
"Well, that's what it sounded…" Liz started, her anger apparent.
"No, I meant all three of us," Don said quickly. "Permanent as a family."
Liz shifted her head to the side and looked at him confused.
"Look, all this time with Agnes has made me realize that I can't go back to before," Don said. "I can't be the guy who sneaks out before she wakes up, or the guy you visit and then need to go home to your place afterwards, the guy who made her toast once or…"
"What do you mean?" Liz asked.
"I mean I've been there every day for Agnes for over three months and I want that to stay the same," Don said. "But with you as well."
Liz smirked at him.
"So, you want Agnes, and I come along with the package?" Liz asked.
"You know that's not what I mean," Don said softly. "I want the Liz and Agnes Premium package. No returns or exchanges."
Liz chuckled.
"We're a lifetime membership, you know that right?" Liz chuckled.
"I wouldn't want it any other way," Don said as he smiled at her.
Liz nodded. "Deal."
Don looked at her surprised. He was expecting a discussion, not an answer to a question he technically hadn't asked yet.
"I would like to ask you, you know, when we are in the same time zone or on the same continent," Don chuckled softly.
"Depends, what continent are you on?" Liz winked at him.
Don sighed, he couldn't tell her.
"Okay, but you don't have to," Liz shrugged.
"Well, I want to," Don said. His mind flitted quickly to the two times he had proposed to Audrey. The first he did the restaurant, wine, speech…everything she had ever seen in one of those Hallmark movies she denied she watched. The second time they were in bed, had just made love and he just asked. No fanfare, no special plans, no pre-planning. He just knew, in that moment, that he needed to ask.
Just like now with Liz, it was right to make sure she was on board, nothing was ever simple with them, but he wanted to properly ask her. He hadn't thought about the details, but thought, just like the second proposal to Audrey, he would just know when the time and words were right.
"The answer is 'yes' Ressler," Liz said as she looked directly at him on the screen.
"Good to know," Don nodded, swallowing hard. Don was then left with the question of whether they may just have got engaged, but wasn't sure.
"Stray lilac panties?" Liz asked. "I thought I was forbidden from speaking about that ever again."
Don chuckled and looked down at the ground.
"I forgot about that," Don said with a broad smile.
"They fell out of your pocket in the elevator on a case," Liz reminded him.
"I was there Liz," Don said as his face went beet red.
"In front of two DC Metro PD and a forensics analyst," Liz added.
"I do remember that detail," Don said his face getting redder.
"Who now all think you like to wear women's panties, or are pervy and carry them around with you," Liz chuckled.
"If you had just taken a minute for me to look under the bed," Don sighed. "Really, it was you rushing…"
"Oh, don't blame me Mr. "stay for another hour"" Liz said in her best imitation of him.
"That is not how I sound," Don said.
Liz laughed.
"And it has nothing to do with you making a poor choice to put them in your pant pocket and bring them to work to give back to me?" Liz asked sarcastically.
"No, that had nothing to do with it," Ressler said stoically.
Liz burst out laughing. Yeah, nothing to do with that.
"Or that you got so caught up in the case, that you forgot you were walking around with panties in your pocket all day?" Liz asked.
Don cleared his throat and said nothing.
"Yeah, it's all about me needing to get back to my daughter to tuck her in," Liz nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. "Nothing you did."
Don gave her a playful glare.
"And your face when they dropped down on your shoe!" Liz giggled uncontrollably.
"I thought we weren't…" Don started.
"Oh, no backing out now!" Liz gasped. "You opened the door again, buddy!"
Don smirked at her.
"What did you say when you picked them up and re-pocketed them again?" Liz laughed.
"I can't remember," Don said, his face getting redder.
"Wasn't it 'I love purple'?" Liz started to laugh harder.
"Technically, I said 'I like purple'" Don chuckled. "And I didn't realize until it came out of my mouth, that it could also be taken as these slinky lilac panties are mine, and I like to wear them."
"Honestly, that's what I think many of them heard," Liz snickered. "I knew they were mine, so I had a different take on that line."
Don huffed.
"You brought it up…" Liz teased him.
Don took a deep breath, he needed to end the call as he was told a trace couldn't reliably happen with the network they set up unless calls went longer than 20 minutes.
"I gotta go," Don said sadly.
"Nineteen minutes…" Liz said.
"Liz, just until you and Reddington…"
She nodded, still not pleased that no one trusted her to not lead Townsend directly to Agnes and Don. She had eluded everyone for months and now would be the time Townsend would catch her, or them.
"I love you," Don said simply, knowing there wasn't an easy way to talk about this one aspect of their lives that was not truthful.
"I know," Liz nodded and her eyes met the camera. "I love you too."
Don gave her a small smile.
"We can talk tomorrow?" Don asked her. "Agnes would love to see you."
"Okay, lunch?" Liz asked. Ressler did the calculation and that would be 4 or 5 their time, perfect for Agnes.
"You're on," Don smiled. "Tomorrow."
They disconnected and Don looked at the time. It was a couple minutes past 11pm. Tomorrow for Liz was almost today for him, and he needed to get to bed but he needed to check in with security first.
"We're locked up?" Don asked as he walked into the kitchen where Bianca stood.
"Yes, secure Mr. Ressler," she said very military-like.
"Great," Don smiled at her before he did a quick walk around the downstairs, making sure there wasn't a bowl with an apple in it that would rot overnight, or a TV. Noting no issues, he climbed the creaky stairs to his bedroom thinking about their earlier conversation 'deal' was Liz's reply? He needed to come up with an actual proposal so he could get an actual 'yes' from the woman. Don walked into his bedroom and looked at the non descript desk and wall behind it that indicated no location ad sighed. The one thing he and Liz always had between them, besides their longing for each other that no one spoke of until he did, was the truth. The truth about each other, their lives, their setbacks and triumphs. Lying to her, or omitting the truth, made his stomach churn.
Ressler picked up his phone and called Reddington.
To be continued….