Ricky

I didn't need this. Seriously. My parents are getting divorced, I already don't know how to feel or what to do. So the last thing that I needed was my ex girlfriend being nice to me, telling me that I can always talk to her if something's bothering me. But we both know she ignored me every time that I did try to talk to her these past few months. No, I really didn't need this hot-and-cold thing with her. But we both seem to be stuck on it.

I rolled down the empty streets on my skateboard. Coming up in my mind was another thing that I didn't need. Guilt.

I knew this was all my fault. I don't know, however, why do I always need to constantly remind myself of that.

It was my fault for telling Nini that we needed a break in our relationship. It was my fault that I couldn't tell her that I love her.

And it was my fault that I went to her house. Even though I couldn't stand to see my own parents right now, let alone be in the same house with them. Going to Nini's was my idea. And it was a bad one.

The only thing that wasn't my fault was that Nini got another boyfriend on such a short notice. Though, I was sure that, if I kept overthinking this, I'd find a way to blame that one on myself too. To be fair, I'm not sure what I was expecting after telling her that we needed to go on a break? Was I expecting ther to just wait it out? That kind of wasn't really fair of me. I was overthinking it again. Another thing that I didn't need right now.

I felt the chilly winds of early November night scratch at my face. For a while, I just kept cruising the streets of South Lake City on my skateboard, desperately trying to clear my mind. It didn't seem to work.

Every now and then I glanced at my phone. Time seemed to move so slowly. 23:12, 23:14, 23:15. Every time I checked a clock I hoped to see the message. Or a missed call. Or an incoming one. I wasn't sure who I was expecting to reach out. Dad, or mom. Nini. I just hoped someone would try.

After a while I realized that I was unconsciously going in circles. I must've passed by Nini's house close to a hundred times. Every time I did, I hoped she'd run out of her house and tell me to get inside. And every time, my hopes were shattered.

Only half-an hour has passed since I sneaked out of Nini's house. It felt like days. Days filled with hope, and fear, and mind-descending-into-oblivion kind of feeling. Truth was I had no idea what to do. I had nowhere else to go. I just planned on driving around until the dawn, then sleep through math class... and history class... chemistry too. Maybe ditching rehersals...One thing was sure, going home was not an option.

As midnight inched closer, the night was getting closer, and the first sign of the rain started showing up. Great. Not to mention, I was only getting hungrier as the time passed. Still riding my skateboard, I tried telling myself that it's not all that bad. I've always loved the way the air smelled after the rain. Even that fading sliver of hope didn't make me feel better.

I heard the car drive up the street behind me. This was the first one that I saw the whole night. It wasn't that weird, this was an extremely peacful neighbourhood, by which I mean it was inhabitet by mainly old people who couldn't drive. Or stay awake past 9PM at that matter.

The car slowed down as it passed me by, coming to a full stop a few feet in front of me. All my instincts were screaming at me to run, but I was tired and angry, so I decided to hope it wasn't a murderer. Driver's door opened. EJ stepped out, visibly confused. Thanks, I would've rather faced-off with a serial killer right now!

But seriously, out of all the things that I didn't need tonight, EJ was at the top of my list.

"Hey byddy", I said with a venomous grin plastered on my face, "I'm so glad to see you".

EJ was still confused. For someone with 4.3 GPA the guys was mentally slow.

"Came to poison me", I said, "guess that's how you usually deal with competition?"

"Why the hell are you outside? ", he ignored my sarcastic remarks, "it's well past midnight, and you have school tomorrow. "

"Well, you have school tomorrow too", I wasn't sure how else to respond to him, "and you're outside too".

"Well, yeah, but I have a car and I'm not a minor", he said mockingly.

"Oh, sorry mister senior citizen", I said, "why are you here then?".

"That's none of your bussines", he said gazing down. He was driving past Nini's house. I was sure. He always seemed creepy.

"Well, then, I guess this conversation is over", I said victorius.

"Look man, I know we have our issues and everything, and we're far from friends", he said looking up at me, his voice turning firm all of a sudden, "but I still don't want anything bad to happen to you so just go home".

Was that the genuine worry in his voice?

For a moment we both stood there in silence. I almost cried. Was I seriously feeling so low right now that, for a moment, I thought EJ was concerned for my well-being. The guy couldn't be honest to his girlfriend, why would he be sincere to his arch-nemesis.

"Look, dude", EJ spoke again, "the rain will start soon, I can give you a ride back home if you need". He stared at me with anticipation. "I swear I won't kill you", he tried to joke. It fell flet.

"Just leave me alone, okay", my voice was steady. I didn't need EJ right here, right now. I didn't need EJ in my life at all. I didn't want his pity or his advices.

I turned my back on him. "Anyways, it won't rain tonight".

Of course, it started raining the moment I said that. It started raining hard. The universe was fucking with me tonight.

Next few things happened so fast that my over-worked, sleep-deprived mind never got to process them.

I turned around to look at EJ, expecting to see a self-satisfied look on his face. When I did turn aroumd he was still staring at me. "Get into the fucking car Ricky!", he yelled over the pouring rain. And for whatever reason, I listened.

Next thing I know, I was sitting in the passenger seat of my nemesis' car. The guy who stole my girl seemed to really wanted to give me ride back home.

For the second time tonight we slid into silence. I guess we were both registering what just happened. Even though we were on the rain for a short while, we were both super wet. I heard the raindrops beating against the roof of the car. I didn't even realize it was raining this intensely. And it seemed to only be getting worse.

"Where's your house?", he asked. With a corner of my eye I saw that he jad his gaze fixed upon the road. It made me feel better that he didn't look at me.

Still, I didn't like his question. Mom and dad thought I was at Big Red's. I couldn't ho back home even if I wanted to. And I didn't want to.

I felt like crying. I felt like the whole world was against me. And why did EJ had to be here, out of all the people in this world.

"Dude, just tell me", EJ said with a sight. "I'm giving you a ride home, you don't really have a choice". He turned to look at me. On his face I could see that he was tired too. And was he crying?

"I... I can't go home", I managed to keep my voice from cracking. "I just can't, it's complicated", I added before he could ask any questions.

"Where do you want me to take you then? ", he said after a brief pause, "any other family members, or should I take you to Big Red's or...". I guess his mind blanked after that.

I couldn' t go to Big Red's. His parents were asleep, he was asleep too, and trust me, there is no way to wake up any member of that family when the sun isn't shining. Their mealtonin game is just that strong. And I didn't really have any family at Salt Lake City. To be even more honest, I didn't really had that many friends either. At least not those that I could pay the visit at any time of day or night.

"I don't know", I whispered to myself. My voice finally breaking. I felt so tired, and lost, and alone, and I don't even know. Just helpless, I guess. But I didn't cry in front of EJ. I decided to count that as a small victory.

For a moment, EJ was stunned. I could sense that he didn't know what to do either. After all, it isn't a secret that I'm not his favourite person.

"Look", he sighed, "I know we have our differences, I know we aren't friends, and we will never be". I could already tell that I didn't like where this was going. "But can we just forget all of that for one night", he looked at me, probably expecting my reaction. I looked away.

I heard him swallow his own words. "Do you wanna tell me where to drop you off?", his voice was suddenly surprisingly soft.

I didn't answer. "Okay", he said, starting up the car. "Then you're staying with me tonight". He didn't ask me if I was okay with that. I'm not sure if I should ne thankful for not giving me a chance to say no to him. Cause I would've said no if he asked me.

We drove in silence for 20-something minutes, before arriving to our destination. We had to run from the parking into the old building that looked close to collapsing cause it was raining so hard. I was kind of starting to worry that EJ was plotting my murder after all.

We climed a few stories up before reaching the doors that looked worse than I felt right now. EJ unlocked them and we walked into a small apartment that seemed to be pretty crammed. The main door lead straight into what I assumed was a combination of a sleeping room, living room, and a kitchen. Inside, there were one door that led to the bathroom.

"I thought your parents were rich or something", was the only thing that I could say. I regretted it seconds later. But can you blame me? He drives BMW. And he lives in a place like this.

"It's complicated", he said sounding distant. I feel the sting of guilt again. Maybe I should apologize?

"What do you need for sleeping? ", he says before I get a chance to speak again, "you can borrow one of my shirts and shorts if you don't have anything of yours at hand, and if you need underwear...", he never finished that sentence, instead, he pointed at the only closet in the room.

"I...I have my that", I say, kind of blushing. I realize that I am soaking wet and that it's a good thing that I brought underwear when I went to Big Red's. I didn't really wanna borrow anything from EJ, hell, I didn't even wanna be at his place.

The catch is, I didn't bring anything for sleeping but my underwear. I counted that I can lend something from Big Red, since that's what we always did when we were staying over at each other's houses. EJ was twp heads taller than me, so I doubted I could even wear anything his. In the end I settled on taking a t-shirt, cause I wasn't really big on a though of spending a night at my mortal enemie's place in just my boxers.

After picking out a plain white t-shirt I kind of looked at EJ. He ready picked his sleeping stuff and was starting to take of his wet clothes. In fact he was already stripped down to his briefs, and he seemed to be ready to take those off too. I tried not to stare, but his entire body was wet, and his blue briefs didn't exactly leave too much to imagination. I couldn't hide how uncomfortable I was.

He looked at me as if he was only now acknowledging my presence. "I... I'm...", he stuttered, "I'm sorry, I'm kind of used to changing in front of the others...waterpolo stuff...you can change in the bathroom", he waved towards to the doors, and I didn't waste my time.

In the bathroom I quickly peeled my wet clothes off, dried myself with a towel I found, slipped into my Mickey Mouse boxers and threw EJs t-shirt. It smelt like Jasmin.

When I got out EJ was ready fall sleep. Standing there in his PJs he kind of looked like an oversized toddler.

"I... I'm not really used to having visitors", he said running his fingers through his hair, gazing at his feet, "so I don't exactly have another bed or anything, I'm sorry...".

"Oh, I'll just sleep on the floor", I said simply. I just hoped EJ made less noise than Big Red.

"No. No way", he waved his head, "look, we can act normal for one day omay, just sleep in the bed with me".

That ideaseemed absurd.

But EJ already took his place and he was gesturing for me to join him. And I was so tired, and my life was such a mess. I just wanted to finally fall asleep. I just wanted this day to be over. So I lay down next to him.

The bed was small so our backs were leaning against each other. I tried to relax. For a while, I was too thrown of by the heat that his body radiated against mine. But I got used to it.

EJs breathing evened out quickly. I was impressed at how fast he fell asleep. Almost asleep, I whispered:"Thanks". Cause I knew I had to say it and I really didn't want him to hear me say it.

Instead of responding he turned around and placed his hand around me. And I was too tired to even care.