I slept in the next day, waking up after 0800. I ate a quick breakfast and made my way up to the Observation Room. I was the first one there, I realized as I sat down, but I was soon joined by Riker. He took his seat to the right of the Captain's chair.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good," I told him. "You excited for today?"

"Oh, yes. How are you feeling, after yesterday?"

"It was fine," I told him. I was getting tired of everyone asking how I was doing, as if I was suddenly going to collapse under the strain. I liked to think I was made of sterner stuff. "I got a little angry, that's all. I talked to Sebastian afterward. He didn't seem to mind." I hoped Will didn't think I was trying to derail this whole process. Instead, he frowned.

"You talked to Grey?"

"Yeah, he came to see me."

"What did he want?"

"I don't know, really. We just talked."

"I don't like it."

"I don't like him." I smiled. "I feel like we've had this conversation before."

"And we probably will again before he leaves," he muttered as Deanna and Picard. Picard sat at the head of the table and Deanna beside him to my right.

"Where's Grey?" Riker asked.

"He seems to be running late," Picard said.

We waited fifteen minutes before Sebastian entered with Reynold's behind him. They both looked frazzled, I thought, as I watched them sit across from me.

"I apologize for being late, Captain," Sebastian said. "I had an urgent transmission from Sandor."

"I hope everything is alright," Picard said.

Sebastian shook his head. "It's not. There was an attack on the capital last night. One of the guard stations around Capital Center was bombed."

"Was anyone injured?" Will asked.

"One guard was killed."

"Do you know who did it?" Deanna asked, leaning forward in concern.

"Unfortunately. They left a message. It's a group we've been tracking that calls itself the Sandor Dawn. They're isolationists who oppose us entering the Federation."

"You think they attacked because we're here?" Will asked sharply.

"We do. We haven't made it a secret that we're considering Federation membership. Most of the population supports it. But there are isolationist factions on Sandor that think we should go back to the old ways when we kept to ourselves."

"Dominic was one of those," I cut in. "Could he be involved?"

"Doubtful. He hasn't had any contact with the outside world since he was arrested. And I don't see why he would plan for an attack to be carried out when he thought he would be Prime Minister."

I nodded. That made sense.

"Do you need to return to Sandor?" Picard asked.

"No, my government is handling it. They're conducting security sweeps around the Capital Center and city itself. We're still trying to identify suspects."

"Under the circumstances," Picard said, "I need to ask if you're still willing to continue these talks."

Sebastian nodded. "I am," he said. "I won't back down to terrorist threats. Although, since we're considering membership, perhaps you would be willing to assist with the investigation?"

Picard nodded. "Commander, have Lieutenant Worf briefed. Minister, you'll provide all the information you have?"

"Of course. Now?"

"Yes, we'll take a break."

Will stood and lead Sebastian and Reynolds out of the room. Picard followed. I stayed where I was.

"I guess we'll just wait," I said to Deanna. She smiled.

"I don't think either of us would have much input on security matters."

"No, I guess not."

"How are you doing?"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "I'm fine, really. Everyone keeps asking that."

"You don't like feeling weak."

"Do you have to do that?"

"I'm sorry, it's second nature."

"I guess so," I muttered.

"You know, recently I temporarily lost my empathic abilities."

"Did you?"

"I did. Last year. We encountered a group of two-dimensional beings and it…overloaded my empathic abilities. I thought it was permanent."

I nodded. I saw what she was doing. "I don't know if that's quite the same as my case," I told her.

"It's not. But we both lost something that was an integral part of who we are and how we interact with the world. When I lost my telepathy, I was scared and angry. I didn't see a future for myself in Starfleet or as a counselor so I resigned. I didn't know how I would survive like that and I was angry when anyone tried to comfort me or tell me I would get used to it, because I knew they were wrong."

"But you got better."

"I did. I was lucky. But there was a while where I didn't know that I was going to get it back." Deanna paused. "I won't pretend to know how you feel. I'm just saying that it's natural to want to retreat from the world, to protect yourself. You have friends on the Enterprise who want to help you. But they can't unless you let them."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just shut it all off? To pretend it didn't happen?" I asked, seeking advice despite myself.

"Maybe for now. But in the long run, you need to accept what happened."

"How do I do that?"

"You're doing it. Live your life. You're doing something useful by helping Sandor. And you're talking about it. This is good."

"It doesn't feel good."

Deanna unexpectedly laughed. "I know. I have a lot of reluctant patients. But they all recognize that it's good for them, eventually."

I smiled. "I'm sure some take some convincing."

"They do. But talking helps everyone."

I sighed. "I guess so." I stood and paced the room to look out the window. "It's weird seeing Sebastian again."

"Why is that?"

"He locked me up for a year. And then he showed up asking me to save his life, just like that."

"And you helped him."

"I did. He offered me a way out and I took out."

"I think it's more than that."

I turned to look at her and her impossible black eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I see the way the two of you interact. You have a connection."

"Oh, please," I snorted. "You can't be serious."

"I am. You have a strong emotional bond with him, even if you try to hide it behind your anger. You must have felt it."

I mumbled something and then shut my mouth. I had been compelled to help Sebastian and I had never been entirely sure that it was only because he promised me my freedom. I had been angry at him when he didn't recognize him in the cell and had been disappointed when he had turned out to be the man behind the prison camp. I wasn't sure why I would have felt those things if I hadn't expected something more.

"We used to be friends," I said lamely. "And besides, I'm pretty sure the man's a psychopath."

"Or a narcissist," Deanna offered.

"You're agreeing with me?"

"Tasha, most powerful men, powerful people, exhibit some deviant psychological traits. He may be what you say he is. But he cares about you on some level."

"That's ridiculous."

"It may be. But it's true."

I sat back down and leaned toward Deanna. "What do I do?"

"I can't tell you that," she said. "But I can tell you to be careful around him."

I leaned back. "I already knew that. But thank you."

She nodded. "Sometimes counselors can be useful."

I grinned at her. "I knew you could be sarcastic."

"I do what I can."

The door opened and the men returned. I spun my chair back to face the table, trying to avoid Sebastian's eyes. Deanna's words echoed in my head. You have a connection. He cares about you. I didn't want to think that she might be right.

The conversation started up again. Sebastian had supplied the necessarily information to Worf and he was working with the planet to find the terrorists. Apparently, there was only so much that he could do, since the planet was not officially part of the Federation, but he was coordinating with the local government to do what he could. Sebastian seemed appreciative.

It wasn't until an hour later when the conversation turned back to shapeshifters. They had just been discussing Sandor's prisons and judicial system when Sebastian leaned back and looked at me for the first time.

"I'm concerned about the shapeshifters," he said.

"What about them?" Picard asked.

"The Sandor Dawn, they're a fundamentalist group. They want to return Sandor to the way it used to be. That includes pretending that shapeshifters don't exist."

"You think the Sandor Dawn might go after them?" Will asked.

"It's possible." Sebastian glanced at Will. "I've given the order to reinforce security around the schools. We'll be screening everyone who goes in and out."

I narrowed my eyes at Sebastian as he looked back at me. "How do we know this isn't just a ploy to turn them back into prisons?" I asked.

"Tasha," Picard said warningly but Sebastian held up a hand.

"It's a valid question. The measures are temporary, until we arrest the culprits and the leaders of the group. By the time we join the Federation, the extra security will be lifted." He looked at Picard. "Is that acceptable?"

"I would think so," he said. "Of course, we still haven't resolved the issue of your schools."

"I've been thinking about that," Sebastian said. "The public still doesn't know they exist. In light of the recent bombing, I think we need to change that. We need to show that we won't be intimidated. I want to have a public broadcast of a tour of the schools." He looked at me. "And I want you to come with me."

"Oh, hell no."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "I was hoping for a better response."

I stood up, ignoring the look from Will. "I am not going back down there. Last time I did, you kept me there for a year." I looked at Picard. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry."

I turned and left. I barely remembered making it back to my quarters but then I was standing in front of the couch staring out the window. I was angry, angrier than I had been in a while. Deanna's words were echoing in my head. He cares about you.

"Like hell he does," I muttered. Sebastian didn't care about me at all. If he did, he wouldn't have locked me up. He wouldn't have asked me to sit in on these proceedings. If he cared, he wouldn't have asked me to go back to one of those camps. I had come to terms with my experiences as a child but that didn't mean I wanted to repeat them.

I paced my quarters, feeling the dark chasm opening up inside of me. Sebastian's request had sent me teetering dangerously to the edge. I ground my teeth. I was sick of feeling helpless, sick of the waves of terror and hurt that continued to wash over me every time I heard the word "shapeshifter." Deanna was right: I couldn't just squash down the feelings. I had to do something about it.

More rational now, I thought back to the conversation in the Observation Lounge. I had had a gut reaction to Sebastian's proposal and had reacted on instinct. It didn't help that I had practically come up with the same idea the day before while talking to Picard: to see the so-called schools for ourselves to judge whether they had improved at all. Now Sebastian wanted to give the entire planet a tour of them. It was a gusty move, even for him. Knowing that there was one shapeshifter free, one who had saved their beloved Prime Minister's life, was one thing. Finding out that there was an entire school of them and more being born every day was something else. I was not sure how the Sandorian public would react to something like that.

But Sebastian was willing to risk his popularity for a chance to stand up to the Sandor Dawn terrorists and to show the Federation that he was sincere in his hope for change. He may have only asked me there as a token, to show the public that a shapeshifter approved of what he was doing, but part of me was curious to see what he had done with the school, to know if they still had the locked doors and the tall fences. To see if any other children felt isolated and alone enough to do what I had attempted at sixteen.

I was not sure how long I paced the room but finally I stopped. A short walk later and I was at the door to the Observation Lounge. The room's occupants turned to look at me when I entered.

"I'd like to apologize for earlier," I told them. Will's face looked strained but Deanna was sympathetic, practically emanating empathy. "I've had time to think about it and I'll take Sebastian up on his offer." I looked at the man and met steady green eyes. "I'll go down to the school with you."