The Austere Stonewall

by Mudblood88

When the Ministry revives an old marriage law as a smokescreen to hide the reconstruction after the war, Hermione Granger is one of the first wave of people caught in the law. Not willing to marry Ron and doom them both to a life of misery, Hermione has no immediate prospects. With few viable options, Hermione proposes to someone else caught up by the law to help him avoid Azkaban.

30. Book 3 Chapter 4

The Austere Stonewall, Book 3: Hermione

Chapter 4: Bachelor Party

Life was...comfortable. Hermione was enjoying her time apprenticing with Poppy and she enjoyed her office hours. She was settling in well. She'd had an idea a week ago in response to Minerva's request of the staff to think of ways to integrate muggleborn and pureblood culture into the curriculum more. She happened to agree with the headmistress that Hogwarts needed to do more to educate its students about culture and the world around them.

Her idea was to simultaneously introduce new concepts to the students from both backgrounds. Since Halloween was approaching and the students were too young to observe Samhein in the traditional way that witches and wizards do, Hermione had suggested a muggle costume party. Students would be encouraged to attend the party dressed up as someone or something else. When the professors had heard her suggestion, they agreed in the fun but Hermione had furthered her point by stating that students should be required to use magic to create their costumes. A contest for the best costume would be held with neutral judges. Awards would be given out for the most unique costume idea, best potion usage, best transfiguration, and best charm work. Professor Flitwick had clapped his hands at her suggestions, excited to see an idea come to fruition that was fun for the children while also educating them and encouraging inter house cooperation and integration of both backgrounds.

Severus had complimented her on her suggestion that they encourage magic to be used on the costumes since Muggles buy theirs. She had agreed to help Severus keep an eye out for students attempting to brew Polyjuice or import it to soothe his concerns over students trying to outdo each other and getting hurt.

Following the announcement of the Halloween Costume Party, there was a buzz around the castle that had been absent. Quidditch provided excitement but only on game days. This was something that all students were invited to participate in. Hermione was able to convince Ginny and Neville to announce to Gryffindor that they would be available to help the first through third years to develop a costume. A word in the ear of a few students from the other houses planted the idea of older students helping the younger students. A few of the younger students even sought Hermione out during office hours for help with spell work to achieve the look they needed.

Hermione was adamant that she couldn't just wave her wand and create their costume for them. She had to convince a first year Ravenclaw that he was unable to produce the spellwork needed to become a pirate (the pegleg and the facial hair were beyond first year charms!) but it worked out in the end. The boy had allowed her to talk him into being a superhero. They had a fun time with Hermione showing the boy the spells in his book and helping him practice until he had changed a few old clothing items into a cape and a suit. The boy agreed to practice the wind charm to make his cape float behind him to look like he was flying.

To counter the muggleborn culture of the Halloween party, Hermione had suggested pureblood etiquette classes. She was faced with some opposition and shock but she persisted to the faculty that muggleborns and even half bloods are at a disadvantage coming into the wizarding world not knowing the basics about the culture and then being mocked for not knowing. Pomona Sprout and surprisingly Professor Trelawney had agreed to get together and outline the basic gaps that children needed to know, wizarding holidays, manners, and courting rituals among them. A couple days later, Minerva had met with Severus to name a teacher for the classes. Andromeda Tonks was suggested but with Teddy, she was busy these days and declined. Narcissa Malfoy was asked, at Severus' second suggestion and she accepted. Students from 4th year and up were going to be having classes once a week on Sundays in the Great Hall. Tea with Narcissa was going to be a class where students would all show up and experience a lesson while learning mannerisms that purebloods were taught from birth.

With the Halloween Costume Party a week away, Hermione was under pressure to help students with costumes on top of her regular workload. She asked Severus to allow her a second run in her days and his response was to bring her a piano. She couldn't help but cry when she came home and saw it sitting in the living room. It wasn't as large and grand as hers was. This was a simple upright piano that looked well-used but it was in tune and it was not so large that it was in the way.

Hermione spent an hour in the evenings playing music and getting lost into her therapy. Severus had tried to be absent at first but Hermione found that she didn't mind him being there. He never had a negative thing to say and she knew him well enough to know that he would be truthful if asked. So, she'd asked. He'd said her playing was beautiful and he enjoyed hearing her. After that, an understanding was reached and Severus would read quietly while she played.

Her journal was bursting with songs that she'd written, dating back years. Having time to put music to them was cathartic.

George and Angelina had invited her to a co-ed bachelor/hen night party. They were getting married the second Saturday in November and wanted to have their party together to celebrate with friends which made sense because they were one of the few couples that weren't strangers. They were getting married sooner than they had liked but not to someone they didn't love. Hermione had shown the invite to Severus who saw that Harry was hosting and agreed that she could attend with him escorting her there and picking her up. Ginny was given permission to attend even though she was technically a 7th year student, not an 8th year. Rules still applied to her but the headmistress had sniffed and allowed it stating that the law was going to cause disruptions that would require a few exceptionalities. Since Severus was taking Hermione, Ginny could go along with no extra work required.

The day of the bachelor party, Hermione dressed up in a simple pair of jeans and a red button up blouse that was made from a satan material. It tied in the front at her waist in a style the muggles had been wearing. Since this was a stay in the house and party type of party, Hermione did not make much effort. She left her curly hair tousled and down, parted at the side and swept back away from her face.

Severus was a bit grumpy when Ginny arrived much earlier than the party. She and Hermione had looked at Severus with pleading looks until he rolled his eyes and walked them to the floo.

When the floo spit them out in the drawing room at Grimmauld place, hours before the party, Hermione and Ginny thanked him for bringing them. Ginny ran off to look for Harry.

"Remember to keep her and Potter in plain sight as much as possible," Severus sneered as Ginny's red hair disappeared out the door. "The last thing I need is her mother demanding to know why I allowed her only daughter to get herself up the duff before the law could affect her."

Smiling, Hermione tiptoed up to kiss him goodbye. "I promise to do my best until her brothers all arrive to do the job for me."

He returned the kiss and when she broke it off, he remained there as though he wanted to say something more.

"What is it?"

"Promise me you'll stay inside the house?"

"Yes, Severus."

"You won't allow any of the dunderheads attending this party to talk you into something stupid?"

"No, Severus," she promised.

"You'll not drink too much?"

"I'll do my best not to drink too much," she placated.

"Hmm," Severus said doubtfully as he looked down at her.

She smiled up at him, her arms around his neck. "What will you do while I am away?"

He studied her for a moment. "I am making the first batch of my new potion. I hope to have it done before the Ministry Gala," he admitted.

She couldn't help but to kiss him sweetly. Before she could really show him her appreciation for his kind attempts at potion creation, a sound that was similar to vomiting came from the doorway behind her.

"'Mione, this is a party. You're not supposed to gross out the guests before it even starts," Ron grumbled, walking into the drawing room and dropping onto the couch.

Disappointed at the interruption, Hermione removed her arms from Severus who gave a hard look as if reminding her of what they had just talked about. A flash of green and he was gone.

"Was that necessary, Ronald?" Hermione turned on him, annoyed.

"Well, your tongue in his mouth was not necessary to me so I'd say yes," was his retort.

She levitated a pillow to hit him in the face and left it repeating it's motions as Ron yelled for mercy which she did not grant. She crossed the room to the old piano that was along the wall on the far side of the room. She'd messed with it some last fall and knew it worked.

Hermione sat and began playing a new melody that went with some of the lyrics she'd written. In the background, Ron must have remembered he was a wizard and stopped the spell-charged pillow. She sensed his presence behind her and she tensed up but continued playing. Playing in front of her friends didn't seem as scary as it once was. At least Harry, Ron and Severus, anyway.

Her friend sat beside her on the bench forcing her to fumble a chord as she scooted over to make room. When she played through what she had, she stopped and turned to see Ron smiling.

"That's great. What is it?"

"Something new. I've got words but I need some more to finish it," she confided as she tried to show Ron how to play the first chord.

After he succeeded in getting his large fingers on the correct keys and playing it, Ron asked, "Could I see the lyrics?"

A little bemused, Hermione summoned her journal from her beaded bag, charmed into a faux leather for the night. She propped it open in front of them and summoned a muggle pen from the bag.

She played the song and sang it for Ron, stopping here and there to change a word or two as needed. Ron was quiet and thoughtful for once as she played. When she paused long enough, Ron asked if he could add a few lines. She was reluctant because she'd been correcting his essays for years and wasn't sure what he might want to contribute but she took the pen in hand and let Ron tell her his thoughts. His ideas were good musically. She had to change a few words for him to make it fit in the song and to flow with the theme but she was pleasantly surprised at how much she was enjoying music with Ron.

Ron left for a moment and returned with a WWW microphone. They sang and recorded the song but when Ron wanted to listen to the recording, Hermione shook her head. She wasn't up to hearing how she sounded. Ron rolled his eyes at her good naturedly but he copied the song for her on a second mic.

"George is letting me have a good portion of the proceeds from the microphone product," he told her while fiddling with the controls to make sure she had the song saved. "It's helping me to save up enough to buy a house. Reckon I'll need it since I'll have to marry in a year or so. Might need to make sure I have a house for us to live in."

Hermione let Ron show her how the product worked and she made a few suggestions on features that a musician would appreciate and Ron thanked her and agreed to add them to the deluxe version they were creating.

Harry and Ginny reappeared looking mussed up and Ron's neck and ears turned red. To distract Ginny's brother, Hermione offered to whip up a snack and the four of them went to the kitchen to eat something before the party started.

The party turned out to be smaller than Hermione had thought it would be. It seemed that George and Angelina had only invited their best friends and close family...within an age limit. Bill and Fleur were invited but declined since Fleur was pregnant, heavily, and could not drink. Charlie was not able to come in from the dragon reserve since he was coming in for the wedding. Percy and his fiancee, Audrey, arrived precisely on time. Percy was happy to introduce his new intended to those there, announcing their wedding would be two weeks following George's.

Thankfully, George and Percy were the only two Weasley's the law was applied to currently. Ron had at close to a year and a half, being only 18 ½ at the moment, and Ginny had a little more than that, due to Harry hitting 20 years old before she does.

Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell, and Oliver Wood attended which meant that they had 6 out of 7 of the legendary Gryffindor Team present. Ginny insisted on a photo in which they left a hole in the center of the group empty, right on the other side of George. There were a few tears over Fred missing out on the reunion but George's announcement that this was a party and to "buck up, you tossers!" had them back in order. Hermione took the photo and duplicated the picture and sent it off with Pigwidgeon. With any luck, Minerva would get it before bed and have a smile at seeing her championship team smiling and waving at her.

Lee Jordan and Verity were a bit late but they joined the party and announced their own engagement. They admitted to planning a closed wedding for only parents and a witness. Hermione was sure there were going to be too many weddings between now and Christmas for dates not to overlap.

Kreacher served foods that were easily eaten off a plate in a lap and everyone ate and laughed and talked. After food was consumed, that was when the night took a turn. Firewhiskey was produced along with a large round table with a green top.

"Alright, Angelina and I say thank you to Harry for hosting this party," he paused for a round of cheers. "And to you lot for showing up to play drinking games and celebrate our engagement. I can probably say for once I'm glad Fred's not here right now because, wekk, I poached his girl."

There was a tittering of laughs and an "ooomph!" as Angelina elbowed him in the ribs.

"Okay, she wasn't his girl but he liked her first and he'd fight me for her if he were here so, I'll just lead us in a toast in Fred's honor."

Hermione threw back her shot of firewhiskey, knowing it was rude to deny a toast to a deceased loved one and hoped that she wouldn't be forced to drink too many more.

"Our first party task is to drink and play a game until we're all loosened up," Angelina announced. "We're playing strip poker so we need an even number of blokes and ladies for the first round."

Alicia and Katie offered to play with Angelina but Verity and Ginny declined. Ginny snarked at her, "You need to loosen up more than I do so I think you should go first, dear!"

With a sigh, Hermione approached the table where she was the fourth girl to the game. Sitting between Oliver and Lee, Hermione looked at George on the opposite side who was grinning evilly at her. This wasn't going to bode well for her but she kept her mouth shut. Telling him that she'd promised not to drink too much was a sure way to get George Weasley to focus on her for the evening.

The rules were agreed on and a few were explained to the couple of people who didn't know how to play yet. Everyone had a glass of water and a shot of firewhiskey (half shots for the girls). Each hand would be played and the winner got to choose a person at the table to remove an article of clothing. Knickers and bras would be off limits for removal and the shorts for the wizards were off limits. Socks and shoes were considered one item since they were a pair.

The first round was a bit stilted as Oliver and Alicia had never played before but Lee won and asked Angelina to take off her shoes causing George to pretend glare before laughing.

"If you manage to get her naked for me, remember that you only get to look at this once, Lee. I'm the bloke that gets to marry her."

Another round went by and Katie won who retaliated by asking for Lee's shirt. After that, the girls banded together to gang up on Lee and the wizards chose to join in. Lee was down to his shorts in only four rounds and then had to take a shot and let Harry take his place. Lee laughed with Ron from the couches as he sat in his skivvies unable to put his clothes on until the game was over.

Angelina had lost her socks and pants by the time George won a hand and asked for his fiancee's shirt.

"No fair! Hermione's still dressed," the bride-to-be whined playfully as she removed her shirt to whistles and cheers.

After that, the entire table turned on her. Hermione lost her socks and shoes back to back as Verity (Angelina's replacement) joined in on teaming up to get Hermione out of her clothing. She was thankful she was wearing a camisole over her bra but she hoped she wouldn't have to expose it.

Hermione won a hand and took George's shirt but then lost and had to take off her shirt. The men in the room groaned disappointedly as she revealed the camisole under her top. She glared at Harry who still had all his clothing and was laughing at her expense.

"Remember when you lot had to polyjuice as me last summer? You stripped down in front of each other in my body. This evens us up a bit."

Hermione won two hands in a row and took George's pants and Harry's shirt. After that, the Boy-Who-Lived wasn't laughing at her. George rotated out and Ron took his place. Katie won a hand and decided to help eliminate Oliver who was only missing his shoes. Alicia was next to bow out due to Oliver bluffing to the lads that she had a tattoo they needed to see. She did, in fact, have a tattoo but it was nothing exciting. It was just her mum's name and a butterfly on her left shoulder blade. Oliver laughed at getting her out of the game only to be the next to lose.

Ginny was the last party goer to rotate in the game and between Ron and Harry, she never lost anything beyond her shoes and socks. Ron glared at everyone and warned them NOT to take any of his baby sister's clothing away from her. Harry was too nervous to take any clothing from her in front of Ron and George nor did he really want Ginny exposed in front of other men. Hermione rolled her eyes at the double standard as she lost her camisole. She was wearing a black lace push up demi bra that looked good on her, she knew so when Ron spilled his water off the edge of the table, she tried not to blush.

"Damn, Granger," George cat called from the other side of the room where the losers were playing Exploding Snap. "That's what Snape gets to see? Never thought I'd be jealous of him but wow!"

No one else was brave enough to comment. Hermione was determined to not lose her jeans and she focused on winning. Between her and Katie, the girls ended up winning by four articles of clothing and they clapped as all the wizards took another shot of firewhiskey in defeat.

Everyone dressed again and laughed at the cartoon characters on George's shorts. Hermione was thankful she hadn't lost her pants nor had she had to take her shot of firewhiskey. Lee and Ron cleared the cards and poured fresh shots for everyone, making room for them all around the poker table.

"This game is a bit of a get to know you type of game. 'Never Have I Ever' is what it's called and we are hoping to send our bride and groom-to-be home drunk and unburdened by secrets. The rules are to only make declarations for things you know someone at the table has done. If you declare something no one has done, you drink twice! We stop when the time goes off. I'm setting it up for 30 minutes. Annnd...go!"

It started out simple. Never have I ever gotten caught out after curfew (everyone drank). Then it was never have I ever served detention for something I didn't do (most people drank). What followed was everyone trying to find out what George and Angelina, but mostly George, hadn't done. It turned out they both had snogged someone in the broom cupboard by the charms classroom, and they had both smuggled in contraband into their dorms. George had spent the night in Hufflepuff's common room, it turned out and Angelina had once used a quidditch injury to get out of classes for a day even though she felt fine.

When Ron stated 'never have I ever made an illegal potion at Hogwarts' Hermione drank before glaring at them both that they should have to drink as accomplices. They argued that they didn't actually do the brewing and were therefore not included in the shot. Hermione was sure to claim that she'd froze her own bollocks and Ron glared while drinking as everyone at the table begged for the story.

The timer went off before Ron could get back at her and Hermione was only about 4 shots deep while some of the guests were up to 7 or 8. She snuck a bottle of sober up into the water pitcher and poured a fresh glass for everyone. Verity saw her doing it and assisted her with a wink.

"Drink up some juice! We've got more drinking to do and you don't want to be sick before the next game!"

Hermione was a bit appalled that no one recognized the melon flavor of the sober up potion in the water. It was diluted so it really didn't sober anyone up but at least eliminated some of the liquor from them all. Hermione felt a bit more clear headed as she drank her glass and another glass of water in preparation.

The next game was a bit like truth or dare but Lee called it Truth Serum and Blab. A drop of a simple compelling serum was diluted in each shot glass. It wouldn't force anyone to blab secrets but it would keep a person from lying. You would be compelled to only speak the truth when speaking. The goal was to go round robin and at each turn, a person would choose a person to ask a question of. Both would drink and then the question would be asked. Both had to answer.

"Oi! Not fair to eat all the snacks!" Ron yelled at Ginny, who apparently ate a lot with alcohol in her system.

"My turn," Alicia interrupted the argument Ron was starting as he lunged across the table to snatch the bowl of treats from his sister. "Hermione, drink up, I have to know. What's the sexiest experience you've every had?"

She swallowed. No one at the table seemed to realized that all her answers, in relation to sex, would include her husband. Honestly, she didn't even know what her sexiest experience was. Did Alicia mean like an actual time she'd had sex or just something she thought was sexy?

The older witch scoffed her shot and blurted out, "In my seventh year, Huxley Blakers from Ravenclaw ate whipped cream off me in an old classroom by the DADA room."

There was a lot of laughter over that and Hermione blushed to know that most of the people in this room had experiences like that with various people. Did she have to admit who were experience was with?

She took her shot and tried to think of what her answer was. She started to say watching Viktor swimming in the lake but she couldn't. When everyone saw her fighting the truth serum, they all leaned in with bated breath. She tried again to say something simple like 'sex on the swing outside' but that wasn't right either which was confusing for her since that was a favorite memory of hers. What ended up coming out of her mouth was not what she would have anticipated and she immediately hated the game.

"Sucking off Severus at his desk in the dungeons."

The room was quiet for a moment before exploding. Ron fake vomited again but Hermione was thinking it was real the way his face was red and he couldn't seem to stop. Harry's hands were in front of his face as he shook his head side to side chanting "I did not need to know that" over and over. The girls were all smiling at her expectantly, hoping she would give details but Hermione closed her mouth still feeling like she had more to say.

"Spit it out, Granger," Lee nudged her. "You look like you didn't say the whole truth. It' won't let up for an hour so you might as well say the rest."

She gasped at his advice. Severus was going to kill her if he found out.

"What else?" Ginny was leaning toward her around Harry who was thunking his head on the table as though that would make him forget what his pseudo sister had just confessed.

She tried to think of a way to get out of it but the compulsion was pushing gently at her and she knew that the next thing she said was going to be the rest of her statement.

"Severus…..no….Tiedtoheadboard,readingglasses errrggg, calledme'baby'!"

George was on the floor laughing at his little brother's reaction and the other males looked a bit green as well at the mention of the dour potion master and the sexual act Hermione had just mentioned. The witches, however, were not disgusted. Instead, they were all more interested than they should be.

"He tied you up? In the dungeons?"

"Wait, who called you 'baby'? Is that muggle slang? Why is it sexy?"

"Hermione Jean Granger, you hussy! I can't believe you have a thing for reading glasses!" Ginny giggled.

"I can!" George shouted.

Embarrassed at being the only person at the party to receive this much attention for her answers even though many others had revealed far dirtier things, shot a nonverbal, wandless gential cleansing charm at George. He jumped and laughed and shot one back at her, wand in his hand behind his back. She shivered and went to send another but Oliver picked George up off the floor and helped him back into his seat. Hermione was sure he was trying to get the game back on track without having to linger on mental images of his old potions professor doing anything sexual and she agreed with this course of action.

It didn't work. Ginny happened to be next and Hermione groaned as she watched her shot get refilled by Harry who was looking anywhere but at her.

"Deepest sexual fantasy," Ginny stated boldly to the chorus of groans from her two brothers. Both of them clapped their hands over their ears and started humming.

The younger witch tipped her drink back and grinned. "Anything with Harry is fine with me."

Lee and Oliver laughed at how tame her statement was while her brothers were humming and shouting the Hogwarts school song to themselves as if Ginny was going to say something wicked and depraved.

Hermione took her drink and swirled it around reluctantly before looking up at the girls who were watching her expectantly. Ron was still humming but George was grinning deviously. Harry wasn't immature enough to do what Ron was doing but he was staring at the picture of his mum and dad on the wall, the one Hermione had gifted to him.

Slowly, she drank her shot. The firewhiskey burned and she regretted not drinking it in one go but she was dreading what was going to come out her mouth.

Rather than give the crowd the pleasure of watching her fight the compulsion, this time she just said it.

"Severus in the restricted section."

Ginny stumbled around the poker table to hug her from behind as she laughed, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. Hermione tried to shake her friend off, not feeling like the hug was helping her embarrassment to fade any faster.

Feeling vengeful, Hermione took her shot glass and filled it and then made sure Ron's was full. Seeing she was about to ask him something, he returned to the table warily and held his glass.

"Who did you give your virginity to?" she had to shout over the talking amongst everyone but when they realized she asked her question, they quieted down and laughed, taunting her and Ron to answer.

"Severus Snape," Hermione said after taking her shot as fast as possible.

There were a lot of gaping mouths from everyone except Ginny, Harry and George but Hermione ignored them.

The smile was gone from Ron's face as he took his shot and then mumbled, "Lavender."

Katie tried to keep the game going but the mood was a little broken. Hermione was embarrassed, Ron was angry, and Ginny felt guilty. They played a few more turns but the game was clearly over.

Shoving her curly hair out of her face, Hermione scooted her chair away from the table and stood. She wobbled and fell back into her chair, realizing now that she was a bit more inebriated than she should be. The floor seemed higher, closer to her face than it should be but oddly enough she could feel it under her feet.

Her husband seemed to have great timing as he chose that moment to appear in the floo, causing the entire room to stop their paltry amount of laughing, giggling, and talking.

"I can see the party is not over yet but as it is now eleven pm, I am here to return my wife and Miss Weasley to Hogwarts," Severus announced in his deep voice, eye narrowed a but as he took note of the shot glasses, firewhiskey bottles, and drunken party guests.

Ron stood from his chair too fast and the chair crashed backwards onto the floor. "I'm going to bed. Night everyone. Congrats, George...Angelina."

As her friend disappeared upstairs abruptly, Katie, Angelina, Alicia, and Verity all stumbled over to hug her and thank her for a good time. Hermione laughed and told Angelina good luck with George. She wasn't too drunk to notice the way the girls all giggled as they glanced at her husband before sitting down on the couch to continue the party.

Severus gently gripped her elbow and helped lift her up from her chair. "Miss Weasley, are you too drunk for floo alone?"

"I can handle my liquor, sir," Ginny winked at him and giggled as she stood and walked a bit tipsily to the fireplace. Harry jumped up and followed beside her but he was certainly much drunker than she was and was not going to be of any help.

"Oi! Big brother, standing right here, you wanker!" George shouted and levitated a cupcake at Harry. It hit him in the cheek, frosting side up.

Hermione giggled as the cupcake fell to the floor leaving behind a streak of pink frosting which Ginny grinned and stretched up as tall as she could and licked it off.

Everyone at the party was now either cat calling or groaning. Severus led her past the couple to the fireplace, whacking Harry upside the head as they passed.

"Let's go before I assign you detention for that disgusting display you just subjected me to, Weasley," Severus sneered, causing the girls on the couch to break into a fresh chorus of laughter with their hands over their mouths.

Ginny smacked one last kiss on her boyfriend before making her way into the floo. Harry picked up the cupcake and threw it at George who ducked it in time.

"For Salazar's sake, this is what you've been doing all night?" she heard Severus mutter as he took a handful of floo powder and called out their destination.

Hermione did not get a chance to reply as he guided her to the couch.

"Paz," he called out.

A pop sounded and a house elf appeared.

"Please deposit Miss Weasley in her rooms for the night and set this," here he pulled out a potion from his pocket, "on her nightstand along with a glass of fresh water."

Ginny was still giggling when the house elf disappeared with her.

Hermione watched Severus loosen his cravat, the way he always did at the end of his duties when he was back in his quarters and not planning to leave again for the night. The action was somehow sexier than it usually was and Hermione sat up a bit watching.

"I assume you had a good time?"

She nodded, still enthralled with the sight of her husband's cravat undone and hanging on either side of his collar. He flicked the top two buttons of his shirt open with his long fingers that were so confident and smooth in their motions. She licked her lip and unbuttoned her own shirt. Severus paused when he didn't hear her respond and looked to see what she was doing.

"How drunk are you?"

"The perfect amount," Hermione said, standing and not stumbling.

She kicked off her shoes and walked over to where her husband was standing beside his armchair. Her fingers reached up to help him unbutton his shirt. He paused to allow her to do it herself but seemed hesitant.

"How much is the perfect amount?"

Looking up at him, Hermione thought back over the night. "A few shots and water."

"A few as in three or a few as in four?"

"Um, four."

He made a noncommittal noise that she knew meant that he didn't like her answer.

Undeterred, Hermione finished the buttons on his shirt and pushed the frock coat off his shoulders. Severus was still watching her and not moving to help her or take her actions further.

Deciding that maybe she would need to help him, she pulled back and removed her shirt and quickly whipped her camisole off as well. Her brain was fuzzy and it was so nice to not care much about what she was doing. Hermione snatched Severus' hand and pulled it to cup her breast over the black lace demi bra that she knew he loved.

"I realized something, you know?"

"Oh?" Typical Slytherin, never giving away anything more than what's necessary.

"Yeah. You're sexy," she grinned up at him.

He stiffened and grasped her chin and tilted her head up to look at him. Normally Hermione would instinctively tighten her occlumency but she didn't care to. Why should she? This was her husband whom she loved. She was safe here.

She giggled as the thought of loving her old potions professor and feeling safe with him in a sexual and romantic context occurred to her. Severus froze as he stared at her and she didn't know if he was uncomfortable with her laughing or upset that she was a little drunk.

His other hand stroked her cheek. "Your shields are lowered, love."

Her heart rate increased at his open usage of the endearment. "Hearing you call me 'love' or 'baby' or 'sweetheart' is apparently one of the sexiest experiences I've ever had, did you know?" she blurted out, tipping her head into Severus' hand more.

"What do you mean by 'apparently'?"

"Just that I hadn't realized it before."

"Before what?"

"Before the game. That's why they were laughing. The truth serum doesn't let you lie. I also really, really like your reading glasses."

He sighed and pinched his nose, straightening up a bit which took his face away from hers in proximity. Too far. Hermione grasped his shoulders and climbed him like a tree, not caring that he wasn't prepared for her to do that. She kissed along his jaw.

"Sorry. I don't have any other sex experiences to draw on. I didn't say anything too personal except that I liked giving you a blow job in your office."

He swore but his hands gripped her thighs to keep her from falling. "I didn't give your name, I promise," she told him desperately between kisses.

"Anything else?" he asked in a tight tone that told her he was very annoyed and unhappy.

Picking a spot by his jaw and ear, she sucked lightly before whispering against his 5 o'clock shadow, "I like being handcuffed to the headboard."

Not wanting him to choose to be angry at her over this rather than allowing her access to him, Hermione weaved her hands into his hair. "I also love your voice when you talk to me, especially if it's dirty. Potion didn't make me say that, though. I love it when you tell me what to do because I know you won't ask for anything I don't want to give. And you just fuck me, please?"

Her back met the wall and she arched up into him as his mouth landed on hers passionately. His hands gripped her arse tightly and had she been sober, it might have been too tight. Drunk Hermione couldn't help thinking it wasn't tight enough and moaned out, "Harder!"

The sex that follow was a haze in her mind the next day but she knew it had been the best yet. Severus, it seemed, loved to hear her say dirty things. Drunk Hermione couldn't help blurting out all the things she was too self-conscious to say when sober. She confessed every filthy thought she'd ever had about Severus, his hands, his cock, and his mouth. Hell, she is pretty sure at one point she worshipped the sharp V of his hips. Her occlumency shields were 100% down the whole night, leaving Severus able to feel every single emotion and notion that flitted through her and damn her if that didn't turn him on.

When she woke the next morning, she was naked and half-lying on her nake husband with only the sheet covering them from the waist down. The bottom sheet was half off the bed and her pillow was on the floor somewhere. She could see clothes littering the floor including a button that was no longer attached to whatever article of clothing it had been a part of. Severus was sporting several love bites on his neck, one high enough up that it would not be covered by his collar, she was sure. She kissed his chest, hoping that he wasn't going to be upset with her for anything that happened. She remembered it all, of course, as she'd not been that drunk but she knew she'd said and done things she was now blushing over.

"I can hear your brain going. It's too early for that," Severus grumbled underneath her.

"Sorry," she whispered, stroking her fingers through his sparse black chest hair and watching the way her wedding and engagement rings glittered in the filtered sunlight through the curtain.

His hand caught hers and threaded their fingers together.

"How are you feeling?"

She blew out a breath into his skin. "Oh, a little embarrassed and contrite."

Severus pulled his other arm behind him to lean up a bit to see her.

"Why? You were...entertaining."

"I guess I'm sorry for playing the drinking games."

He sighed. "I don't begrudge you. I never had friends at your age that I could enjoy spending time with like that. The most I ever had was drinking with Lucius in his study. You should enjoy a party with your friends on occasion," he said quietly.

Shaking her head, she disagreed. "It sounds fine but now I'm thinking of all the secrets I spilled and the vulnerabilities that I invited."

Now her husband sat up against the headboard, pulling her to sit with him. "As a spy I would say you're right but I can also say, as a spy, that it's no way to live your life. You don't want to become Alastor Moody: so paranoid you can't drink anything but your own flask, cursing the rubbish bins when you hear a sound that surprises you."

She snorted in amusement at the memory of Mad Eye Moody.

"You were in an unplottable, fidelius guarded house only open to floo access from people who know the location and are flooring from the Burrow, your cottage, or Hogwarts. You were in the company of friends who would not take advantage of you and you were not apparating home alone. I would not have cleared you to go to a Weasley party if I hadn't been sure that you would be safe, Hermione."

She looked up at him to see the sincerity shining in them. His facial hair still surprised her when she looked at him, even after nearly two months of marriage to him. She couldn't resist running her hands over it and the 5 o'clock shadow from the parts that he did shave.

"I still overshared. I know you like your privacy," she offered. "Sorry."

A louder sigh. "I'm not going to say that I like the idea of my private life being discussed among you and your friends but I will admit that I've shared things with Minerva or Poppy when looking for advice or sharing concern. I can see how a drinking party would produce those results."

She nodded while her fingers followed the lines of his small beard.

"Besides, I think it might be good for those friends to know... What was it you said last night?"

A spike of fear shot through her with dread. An evil smile crossed his face.

"Oh yes, that you 'loved sucking my cock in the dungeons'. I believe that was the wording you used. That's really more invasive of you than it is of me. What wizard wouldn't want his cock sucked by Hermione Granger, no matter the location?"

She sputtered indignantly. "Oh gods!"

Severus nodded at her as though confirming that she really did say that. "Oh yes, you also like my reading glasses, I'm told."

She buried her face in her hands. Suddenly she remembered Ginny's last question to her in the game and she groaned.

Her husband laughed out loud. "The restricted section. Yes, that was a rather predictable response from you, wasn't it, my little swot? Your shields are still down, sweetheart. I'm loving the access. It made last night so much more fun."

Her husband laughed some more and Hermione was sure she was going to burst into flames of embarrassment any minute now, much like a phoenix did on a burning day.

To shut him up, she kissed him deeply with tongue. When his hands wrapped around her waist and dragged her up into his lap, she knew things were okay.