To all ships - Please report to Friedrich Der Große to commence operation "Rainbow shell" in an attempt to find any lasting survivors in the world. Javelin had a bit of an itchy trigger finger during the recapture of Graf Zeppelin, so for all I know, I might currently be the last human on this earth.

Admiral Graf Spee - Do you have any idea how intimidating it is for a human survivors to wake up from a world-destroying event, only to see a black-clothed girl with giant claws approach them and ask if they need a hug? - The answer is no. They don't need a hug. Get rid of the claws, we have been over this before.

Admiral Hipper - Stop biting people out of spite. - I'm sorry for being so doubtful, but are you sure your zombification has been properly reversed?

Ajax - Even if we find another living human somewhere out there, there is still no chance in hell we're giving them to you. I'll offer you Suffolk if you behave, that's the best you deserve.

Albacore - "Last human survivor rescue prank gone wrong" is not as amusing as it sounds.

Akagi - Were I to be the last human alive, my priority would not be to "preserve the human race" with any of you. I would simply ask Akashi to make me immortal.

Akashi - You have work to do. Infinite human body preservation. Chop chop. I'll give you all the funds you want.

Ark Royal - "Prison's gone" should not be your first comment when you realized humanity's destroyed. I'll personally lock you up should you misbehave.

Atago - When arriving to see a sea of human corpses on the field, you do not, for all that is holy, respond with "I'd still tap that." What is wrong with you?!

Avrora - Javelin's the culprit for the eradication of the human race. You cooking has nothing to do with it. it was a decent guess, though.

Ayanami - I appreciate the sentiment, but if we are to give a proper burial to every human body we find out there, we'd need to plow the Sarah desert for enough room. - Cremation is more practical. We have napalm.

Belfast - Attempting to use whatever remained of the Enterprise clones is desperate and disturbing. I'm placing you under rehab.

Bismarck - I may or may not be a man of religion. Non the less, we do not celebrate the extermination of any religion or race upon this world. You Nazis need some serious lessons on ideological education

Bremerton - Humanity's dead. Give up on social media, it's gone.

Chapayev - You cannot claim all of earth for the motherland. Well, technically you can, seeing as all governments have ceased, but that includes the motherland as well.

Cleveland - Congratulation on your transformation. We're all very happy for you. Now, you could possibly be the only transgender male still alive on this planet.

Deutschland - You are to seize all attempts to procure the power of friendship. It has killed almost all of humanity. Not that you could use it anyway.

Eldritch - Stop listening to Albacore. The are no human survivors around who need a hug from you. Maybe I should just wrap you in tinfoil.

Empress III - We don't ask you to become a proper person, as that would be asking for far too much. Just that you act like one. Get rid of the body paint.

Enterprise 1 - After excruciating amounts of research, we had to give up and just randomly burned all the Enterprise 1s until you were the last one standing. Chances are you're not actually the original Enterprise 1. I apologize profusely for the situation, but that's the consequence for humoring your wife.

Enterprise 2 - ...Has anyone seen Enterprise 2 lately?

Friedrich Der Große - As flagship, it is your duty to command the operation in an attempt to find any surviving humans on this planet. Emphasize on surviving. please stop the shipgirls under your command from bringing back corpses to steal the contents of their pockets and make marionet puppets out of them.

Formidable - Do not use the Enterprise clone corpses to make a puppet show. - Good to see that you've found a new hobby, but stop making marionets out of dead things.

Fuzzball - Making "war never changes" jokes in times of crisis is right out. "War seized to exist," how about that?!

Grozny - I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but without humanity, there is no one around to create more vodka. - You've become surprisingly motivated in our human rescue operation. Why do all ships only think with their breasts and bellies...

Graf zeppelin - Welcome back to our naval base. I am surprised that you can survive without limbs, half a lung, open stomach, and a scorched face. Still, you will now be placed inside solitary confinement for the next few centuries without food and water as punishment, just to be sure.

Gascogne - Any survivor reports that includes the number "0%" do not have to be reported to me. We can go on like this for years.

Honolulu - "Post-apocalypse" is not a form of rock-n-roll. It is our current world status.

Hornet - Human rescue operations should not involve a grill and barbecue sauce.

Illustrious - Do not compete against Javelin's friendship cannon as a weapon of mass destruction. Your chest is very fearsome, we all know it. You have nothing to prove.

Javelin - I'm grateful that you captured Graf Zeppelin with the friendship cannon, but you and I need to have a serious talk about what "friendly fire" means.

Kaga - With the possible extinction of all human life on this planet, you will have to find replacements for you "target practice." - Glowworm doesn't count. Find something else.

Karlsruhe - Just be glad that Roon doesn't see you as a threat. She already apologized for cutting you in half while you were a zombie. - You tried to eat her. I think the cutting was justified.

Kitakaze - Your proposal to make clones of Unicorn has merit. - Rather, it would've had merit if we still had any living enemies left to fight on this planet.

Laffey - We do not need weekly themes. Our naval base is chaos personified.

Mainz - You literally own all the coffee in the world now. How is this not a fetish?

North Carolina - Why am I hearing stories about toilet dwelling bunny-devils who come to molest potty-goers and eat their souls?

Observer α- You SIREN can time travel, right? Could-Could you please fix this?

Prinz Eugen - This catastrophe has indeed replaced the actions performed by the Nazi's during the great war as the highest kill count in a single event. That does not mean we should celebrate and cheer about it.

Purifier - Sure, whatever, I give up. You can detonate all the nukes you want. It's not like there are any humans left that we can accidently kill anyway...

Roon - No, it wouldn't be romantic if you and I were the only living beings on this planet. We are starting to get frighteningly close to this minacious outcome.

Seattle - No, I think getting killed is a very justifiable excuse for missing your birthday party. I get that you're pissed off, but please try and forgive the dead for dying.

Sheffield - I think my original job, way before the SIREN joining us, was to defend the human race from unknown alien encroachment. Saying that I'm bad at my job would be an understatement.

Shōkaku - When faced with mass destruction, your first action should not be to point to Kaga and yell "she did it again." - On second thought, please explain to me what you meant with "again."

Taihō - I seriously have no idea what I'm doing. I just signed papers and barked "fire" whenever I saw some random ships in the distance of our fleet. My own subordinates caused this crisis by my command. Stop upholding me as some kind of ideal standard, I'm literally not even sane anymore.

Takao 2 - There is no such thing as an "Gaydar," and even if there was, Belfast would easily be the highest possible exemplar.

Tester β- I understand that your kingdom of Hell may have gotten a little bit overcrowded recently. We profusely apologize for instantly killing and sending all of the human race to hell by accident.

U-101 - Your plans for a road trip through the savannah will have to be cancelled. There no longer is a savannah. At all.

Unicorn - You are not allowed to participate in the rescue operation. Just being in your presence alone would destroy a human's soul and remove their being from the multiverse.

Vestal - Once you figure out whose mind belongs to whose body, you can start working on dismantling your soul-swapping machine.

Warspite - I have a difficult message to give you. The dog kennel was sadly not preserved. We'll have to find you a new home.

Queen Elizabeth - I am aware that the queen of England is supposedly immortal. That doesn't convince me that an over 90 year old woman could survive a blast of pure rainbow energy.

Z23 - Commanderism is now the world's ruling religion. That does not mean you can title yourself as "supreme pope."

Zuikaku - Harems are not to be used as human shields against rainbow beams. Though I guess your little "harem" issue has finally been resolved.

Operative missive's

To all operatives - With you people still around I shouldn't quite say I'm actually the last human alive, But looking back on everyone's behavior here on the base, I'm more willing to believe that you're all just Kansen in disguise. - Ineptitude, reckless abandonment, depravity, increasing insanity. It all checks out.

Admiral Tenoxus - Permission granted, though I don't think a railgun will do you any good...

The sane one - You're just a voice in my head. Go away.

Derrickfoo0 - We already do use the wisdom cubes on ships. All vessels on the sea are referred to as "she," which is the reason why all shipgirls are girls to begin with. To be honest, with the number of bent "things" increasing within our naval base, I think I'd attract males at the same rate anyway. - Speaking of, That male ship you were talking about has just been used as a meat shield by Zuikaku. Do your nanomachines revive complete removal from our universe? - If that's what it takes to cure the apocalypse, I think I'd rather die a virgin...

The janitor - apologies for most likely destroying your current quarters wherever that may be. Hope the projector survived. - Say, does your contract involve cleaning duties outside our naval base? We have about 510.1 million square kilometers that needs cleaning up...

Astra - What "souvenirs" are we talking about? - Why do I even ask that? I should know better! The answer is no, request denied ten thousand times over.

The shadow of Zama - Update on the PADS project. The minimum required cup size within the naval base will from now on be D cup. - Atago is mad at me for "decreasing diversity."

Local pyromaniac - When discovering black holes, always blame Akashi.

Research pacific - Yeeaah, soo, like, we don't really need hammer space anymore...? We recently gotten more then enough clear grounds to do whatever we want on now... - Grow a pair. Chances are we're the cause for the biggest SCP breach yet anyway, considering the implications of blowing up the entire earth with a rainbow gun.

Some guy - Permission denied. Go ask Unicorn if she can lend you one instead. She has hundreds of them anyway.

Cemalidor - Book it. No diversion is going to help me escape total world annihilation.

Shen1412 - If it would be broadcasted, I'd personally gauche out every living being's eyeballs until our entire race is blind.

Francis - Meh, let Friedrich take care of it. - When Unicorn asks you to make weapons, just move slowly and nod. Defying her could risk the universe from collapsing...

Joshua Olejasz - Saratoga, you've been bad. Go to Enterprise's room.

Mr JAMicide - Think you for the treatment of un-zombification. - Sorry, my books on BDSM are still being bound.

Safety Doggo - I'd reconsider, less you'll be paid a visit by a caffeine horny Mainz.

The middle man - 1. Then what the hell did I just eat?! - 2. Stop claiming stuff as your own and selling them to others. Even if it has your name on it. I want my planes back! - 3. So we're broke? Again? - 4. Dear god no! When sober, Grozny may even try to challenge Unicorn to a fight for the title of true multiverse god! Please give more Vodka! - 5. And you think that doesn't make it worse because...?! - 6. Can I just pay you for destroying everything you have in stock? - 7. Munition for what? - 8. When encountering black holes, blame Akashi. - 9. Sorry. Can't do. They filed for official adoption. - 10. Do you think a friendship cannon can destroy an unkillable scientist amulet? - 11. How naïve. You think they wouldn't find out?

Touhou fanatic - Do not stick that thing in another ship, for the love of god.

Reinkasahi - Excuse me, you think Unicorn could suffocate? As if she needs actual equipment or something? We're talking about the same being, right?!

Space commander-09 - Hey, earth is dead. Can we join you people?

It's getting more and more difficult to continue this unholy saga of absolute crack. My motivation is starting to decrease, and I really want to start on other projects. I'm going to call quits soon. I'll call it beforehand; week 36 will be the end of this story. I still have 2 more missives to go through, and a special little chapter to send this project off for good.

Also meaning that I'll only go through operative missives 2 more times now. I really liked how the reviews have worked out in this project, but it has to end somewhere.

...I'll try to get next chapter out next week. Promise (But not really. I can't be trusted.)