Hertfordshire, April 1806
Lizzy jumped as she heard a sound from outside. Racing towards the sitting room window, she peered outside.
"Lizzy!" cried her mother. "My nerves cannot take much more of this! Remain seated!"
"Yes, Mama," Lizzy agreed, trying to catch once last glimpse of the outdoors. Jane was returning home today, and Lizzy was eager to see her sister again.
It had been three months since the girls had last been together before Jane left for London to escape Mr. Cartwright. The carriage was late, and both Lizzy and Mrs. Bennet were concerned.
"Oh, what could be taking her so long to arrive?" wailed Mrs. Bennet. "What if something dreadful has happened? I am sure that she will be set up on by highwaymen, who will take one look at her beauty and carry her away. Then what will become of us if we do not have my beautiful girl to marry well and take care of her mother when her father is dead?"
Lizzy discreetly rolled her eyes and smiled patiently and her mother. "Mama, remember that there was quite a bit of rain during the night. The more likely explanation for Jane's tardiness is that the roads are difficult due to mud. She will be arriving shortly."
As if she had summoned her sister by magic, Lizzy heard the faint sound of horse hooves outside the house. Jumping to her feet, Lizzy raced towards the front of the house. She burst through the door and bounced on both feet while waiting for the footman to hand Jane down.
"Oh, it was so good of my brother to send you in his carriage," exclaimed Mrs. Bennet as Jane and Lizzy embraced. "But what else can he do with the carriage than to help his niece return safely home?"
Jane released Lizzy to embrace her mother, kissing her on the cheek. "I am glad to be home, Mama," she said in a quiet voice.
Lizzy frowned as she took a closer look at Jane. Her pale face and red-rimmed eyes hinted that she was not as calm as she appeared.
"Come inside, girls," Mrs. Bennet said as rain began to fall once again.
Lizzy made to follow Jane up the stairs, but she was delayed by another argument between Kitty and Lydia. Once she resolved the dilemma of to whom the piece of lace belonged, she made her way upstairs, only to find the door to Jane's room locked.
"Jane?" Lizzy inquired as she knocked softly on the door. "Jane, dear, it's me."
"One moment, Lizzy," came Jane's muffled voice.
It was actually several moments later when the door finally opened. Peering a beautiful blue eye through the barely-ajar door, Jane said, "Lizzy, I simply need some privacy. Please tell Mama that I will be down in a few minutes."
Lizzy could only gape at her sister as the door was once again closed. The sound of the lock clicking pushed Lizzy into heading downstairs. She didn't know what to make of her sister's odd behavior, but she was suddenly extremely worried.
When Jane joined the group in a worn and faded morning gown, Lizzy's trepidation increased. Before she could say anything, Mrs. Bennet began. "Now, dear Jane, come and tell me all of the fashions for long sleeves! Your letters spoke of card parties and balls almost every night. When can we expect a suitor to come speak to your father."
Lizzy did not think it was possible for Jane's face to pale any further. "There is no such suitor, Mama," Jane whispered quietly.
"No suitor? No suitor!" exclaimed Mrs. Bennet. "Nonsense, girl! Why ever did we spend all the money for you to leave Mr. Cartwright and spend time with your aunt and uncle if you were not going to return engaged?"
After listening for a few more minutes of Mrs. Bennet's haranguing, Jane suddenly stood. "Please excuse me, Mama. I fear I have a headache from my travels. I will rest before dinner. No, Lizzy," she said as Lizzy stood to join her. "I will be well enough on my own."
Once again, Lizzy could only stare as her sister left the room and closed another door on her.
Jane's aloof manner continued for several days. Finally, after a week complete, a determined Lizzy quickly finished her breakfast and excused herself from the table before anyone else. She went up the stairs and passed her bedroom door, going into her sister's room instead. She waited quietly on the bed until she heard Jane enter the room.
"Lizzy, I am sorry, but I have –" began Jane.
"No, Jane, this won't do!" interrupted Lizzy. "There is something wrong. You have been quiet, more so than usual, and you have been avoiding me."
"It is nothing. I am merely fatigued from my travels."
"Jane, it is more than that." Jane fell silent at Lizzy's words. "Are you unhappy to be home, Jane? Would you rather have stayed in London?"
"Oh, no!" cried Jane. "As grateful as I am to my aunt uncle for the time I spent there, I much prefer being at home."
"Did you not enjoy any of it?" asked Lizzy. "Perhaps made some new friends or enjoyed the exhibits and theater, in addition to society?"
"It was all very nice," Jane demurred.
The girls sat in silence. They could hear the patter of footsteps in the hallway as Kitty, Lydia, and perhaps Mary ran to and fro. A loud thud caused Lizzy to look towards the door. Upon hearing shrieks of laughter, she turned back to Jane. To her astonishment, Jane's eyes had filled with tears.
"Oh, Jane!" cried Lizzy, and she pulled Jane into her arms. Jane's shoulders shook as she sobbed into her delicate hands.
"Shh. There, there," Lizzy murmured comforting noises while all of the hidden emotions Jane had bottled up since she had returned home poured out of her.
When Jane's tears had subsided, Lizzy pulled her handkerchief out of her pocket. Grimacing at the tangled lines of embroidery she had attempted, she began to mop up Jane's tears.
"Now, then, Jane," Lizzy said, "tell me all about it. What happened."
With her walls finally down, the entire story about Mr. Bingley tumbled out of her mouth in a rush. Jane had mentioned Mr. Bingley on occasion in her letters, giving rise to their mother's expectations of an imminent engagement.
" – and then he invited his friend to our card party. It was clear the gentleman felt uncomfortable to be there. He had very fine clothing, much finer than what anyone else was wearing. I believe he also has a house in Governors Street. But he spoke very little and stood listening to Mr. Bingley and me. I tried to engage him in conversation, but he rarely answered with more than a word or two."
Jane paused for a minute, collecting her thoughts. "Then Mr. Bingley said Mr. Darcy – his friend – needed to leave, and he would escort him out. He promised to return immediately and said he had something very particular he wished to ask me."
"So what happened, Jane?"
"I have no idea, Lizzy! I waited until all the other guests had left as well, but he never returned! I asked the butler, and he told me that Mr. Bingley had left with his friend in Mr. Darcy's carriage."
Lizzy's mouth fell open. "Jane, are you telling me that is the last time you saw him?"
Jane burst into tears again. "I kept thinking that perhaps there was a misunderstanding. Maybe Mr. Darcy had received a message of an urgent nature and Mr. Bingley went along to help. I remained at home every morning for the three weeks I was there until it was time to return home to Longbourn. Even that last day, I kept hoping he would come with a reasonable explanation."
Lizzy began to feel her blood rushing in her ears. "I cannot believe a gentleman would behave so… so… so ungentlemanly!"
The girls lapsed into silence. Finally, Jane said quietly, "I wish I knew what I had done wrong to make him not return."
"Absolutely nothing!" Lizzy declared hotly. "Jane, you are one of the kindest, most gentle women that has ever lived! For him to make declarations and then disappear is abhorrent behavior! He is the one who has done wrong, not you."
Jane nodded mutely, but her eyes remained fixed on the bed.
"Jane, you must believe me," pleaded Lizzy.
"It is not that I disbelieve you, Lizzy," Jane said, "but rather I think you just are not in possession of all of the facts. After all, Mr. Bingley is such an amiable gentleman. I cannot believe that one who appears so good could have played me false."
Lizzy frowned. What was she to do now? If only you had been with me that day to see Mr. Cartwright, she thought. You would not have the same opinion of the goodness of men that you do now.
Sighing, Lizzy reluctantly said, "Jane, you will never be able to convince me that you did something wrong. You are too good."
Jane brightened slightly, "Perhaps it is still all just a misunderstanding."
"You think that, Jane, if it gives you comfort." Lizzy stood up. "Now, I believe Mama will be calling us down shortly. Are you well enough to join us?"
"Yes, Lizzy, of course. I will be as I always was. You'll see."
The days blended into weeks, and the weeks blended in months. To the entire world, Jane appeared as serene as ever. But Lizzy was more observant than most. There was something in Jane's air and expression that showed Lizzy that Jane's hurt was still there.
One particular morning, Mrs. Bennet declared at breakfast that she, Jane, and Lizzy would head into Meryton the next day. "What for, Mama?" asked Lizzy.
"Why, for your new gowns, of course!" cried Mrs. Bennet.
"Why do I need new gowns, Mama?"
Mrs. Bennet stared at her daughter, eyes rounded in shock. "For your coming out, child! You will be fifteen in a month, at which point you will be out and attending assemblies and balls! Your schoolroom dresses will not be appropriate!"
"I want to come out, Mama!" cried Lydia.
"Me, too!" seconded Kitty.
Lizzy looked at her mother in horror. "Mama, I thought that I would not come out this year. After all," she hesitated, glancing at Jane, "isn't it more proper for the younger sisters to come out after the elder are married?"
Only a slight pinkening of her cheeks showed that Jane was affected in any way by Lizzy's comment.
"Wait until Jane is married? Why, you silly child!" cried a vexed Mrs. Bennet. "Of course we cannot wait! Your father grows older and closer to death every single day!
"Which is typically how time works," Mr. Bennet interjected drily.
Mrs. Bennet continued undeterred. "With Jane unable to secure a match in London, we must improve our chances at one of you marrying well. Since you are not so beautiful as Jane, perhaps the comparison standing next to will help the young men see her looks for how they really are."
"Mama!" gasped Jane in shock. Mr. Bennet's eyebrows rose, and Kitty and Lydia burst into giggles.
"Beauty is only skin deep," intoned Mary. She had recently begun reading Fordyce's sermons, among other religious texts, and had taken to spouting moralistic platitudes at every opportunity.
"Exactly right, Mary!" cried her mother. "Jane's beauty will only last so long, and since Elizabeth's beauty does not run as deep, we must take every opportunity we can to find her a match."
During this conversation, Lizzy had been sinking lower and lower into her chair. She fought to keep the tears welling in her eyes from falling down her cheeks. "Excuse me," she murmured, and she rose to feel the room.
Racing out the front door without stopping for her bonnet or boots, Lizzy tore down the cobblestone path and into the gardens. She grabbed a fistful of leaves from a hedgerow and threw them at the ground. What she really wanted to do was stomp her feet and yell, but she knew that would only draw the attention of the groundskeeper.
"Lizzy?"
Jane's gentle voice came up behind her. She felt Jane's warm, smooth hand on her shoulder, providing a comforting weight that eased her loneliness and anger.
"I'm sorry, Lizzy," she heard Jane say.
"It's not your fault, Jane! It's Mama who should be apologizing," cried Lizzy in anger.
"No, it is my fault," Jane insisted. "Had I secured Mr. Cartwright or Mr. Bingley, Mama would not feel so much pressure. It is my selfishness and failure that has put all of our family in danger."
Lizzy spun around, her dark eyes flashing. "Jane, you did the right thing. You should not have accepted Mr. Cartwright. You did not love him!"
Jane shrugged a shoulder. "No, but he was so kind and amiable. I am certain that love could have grown in time. I would have been happy, knowing that I was bringing happiness and security to my family."
Lizzy sighed. What do I say to that? She wondered. How can I keep my promise to Becky, knowing that Jane continues in ignorance of the realities about herself and the world around her?
Coming to a decision, Lizzy said firmly, "Jane, Mr. Cartwright was not a good man."
Jane's eyes widened in astonishment. "I know he was not a favorite of yours, Lizzy, but that does not mean - "
"No, Jane." Lizzy paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "What I am about to tell you can never, ever be spoken of again. Not even by the two of us after this moment. Do you agree?"
"Lizzy, what are you talking about?"
"I mean it, Jane. I won't tell you unless you swear that you will never tell another living soul."
"Okay, Lizzy. I promise."
Lizzy then proceeded to tell Jane about the incident she had witnessed between Mr. Cartwright and Becky almost two years before. Jane's face grew pale and her eyes widened with disbelief and shock. When Lizzy reached the part about Becky having to leave her home, Jane pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob.
"And that's why I encouraged Mama to send you to London," Lizzy said. "I could not bear to think of you married to such a monster."
"Oh, Lizzy!" cried Jane. "How could someone with every appearance of goodness hide such evil for so long?"
"I know not," replied Lizzy, "but since that day I have vowed to never judge a man solely by his behavior in company. A handsome face and charming manners do not make a person good. Mary does not know how correct she was this morning in describing beauty as only being skin deep."
Jane nodded in agreement. "Then how are we to know?" she asked. "How do we tell if a young man really will make a kind husband or not?"
Lizzy was taken aback by the question. She had not thought so far into the future as to how she would discover a man's true character; she only knew that she needed to do it.
"I'm not entirely certain," she said slowly. Her mind felt blank. How can we know? she wondered.
The sound of footsteps crunching over leaves caused both girls to jump. They spun in unison towards the noise and saw their friend Charlotte Lucas walking down the path towards them. Lizzy and Jane locked eyes and nodded to one another.
Charlotte waved as she approached. "Hello, Jane! Hello, Lizzy!" she called. "Your mother said I might find you down here." Charlotte carefully made her way down the last few steps of the garden path, lifting the hem of her slightly too-long dress to keep from tripping.
"What a lovely surprise!" cried Lizzy. Although Charlotte was closer in age to Jane, it was Lizzy who had more in common with the oldest daughter of a poor knight. Charlotte and Lizzy were more practical, whereas Jane usually viewed the world with rose-colored glasses. Although not any more, Lizzy thought sadly.
"What are you girls doing out here?" Charlotte asked. She brushed a whisp of hair out her face that had fallen from its pin. "I'm not surprised to see you out of doors, Lizzy, but I didn't expect you to be out here with her, Jane!"
Jane smiled and replied, "Lizzy and I were discussing how Mama wants her to get measured for dresses tomorrow for her come-out after she turns fifteen."
Charlotte's eyes widened in surprise. "I see," she said cautiously.
Lizzy laughed at her friend. "You need not hide your true feelings from me," she teased. "I know that you think I'm too young, which is what I think as well!"
Charlotte's face relaxed into a smile. "It is not a question of maturity, but rather the fact that thanks to Napoleon, the number of young ladies sitting out at assemblies is already high enough!"
The three girls shared an amused look before Jane asked the question that was on her mind. "Charlotte," she began, "Lizzy and I have been discussing marriage."
"Why, Jane!" exclaimed Charlotte. "You sly girl, you never said a thing!"
"No, no, I am not engaged," Jane hurried said as a blush spread across her cheeks. "However, with Lizzy coming out, that will naturally lead to discussion about eligible matches. Lizzy and I are wondering how we can know if a young man will make a good husband."
Charlotte frowned in concentration. "Well," she said slowly, "I have often thought that happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. It's probably best to know as little about the defects of one's partner as possible until after the wedding."
Jane and Lizzy started to laugh, then suddenly stopped as Charlotte's frown deepened.
"My dear Charlotte," cried Lizzy. "You know you would not behave in such a way yourself! After all, how can you be sure of your security or safety?"
Charlotte sighed heavily. "As women, we have very few freedoms in life. We are always under the regulation of our fathers or our husband. All I ask is for a comfortable home of which to be mistress. The other parts are quite interchangeable."
Lizzy looked at her friend in disbelief. "But Charlotte," she said. "What if he – " her voice lowered to a whisper – "hurts you?"
Charlotte looked uncomfortable. After a moment, she said, "Well, some things may be preferable to other possibilities. For those of who have little but our charms to recommend us, it may be a choice between an unpleasant husband or a more unpleasant situation as a governess or companion. At least as mistress of a home, there will be some freedoms."
The three girls stood in a solemn silence, the wind blowing their skirts around their legs as if sweeping away the last of their innocence.
Finally, Lizzy shook her head and laughed. "Come, girls," she cried, "and let us speak of more pleasant things. What colors of fabric will be most fashionable at the modiste tomorrow, do you think?"
The next day found Jane, Mrs. Bennet, and Lizzy riding the carriage into town. Lizzy would have much preferred to walk, but Mrs. Bennet could no longer make the journey into Meryton on foot like she used to before birthing five children. Along the way, Mrs. Bennet spoke of nothing but lace and ribbons.
The women entered the modiste and began looking at fashion plates. After a moment, Lizzy was called back behind a curtain to have her measurements taken by two seamstresses.
"Look here, Jane!" called Mrs. Bennet loudly. "Your dresses do not have nearly enough flounces to be in fashion anymore. No wonder Mr. Cartwright never offered for you."
Upon hearing Mr. Cartwright's name, the two seamstresses exchanged a glance. When they caught Lizzy looking puzzledly at them, they quickly turned their gazes to measuring and pinning. Lizzy glanced over the curtain to be sure her mother was still occupied, then whispered, "What do you know about Mr. Cartwright?"
One of the seamstresses looked up fearfully. "Nothing, Miss Lizzy."
"Nonsense," proclaimed Lizzy, wincing internally as she realized how much she sounded like her mother. Undeterred, she continued, "I know that he was not a good man, but I seem to have been the only one to know. So I ask again, what do you know about Mr. Cartwright?"
The first girl remained silent, but the second seamstress spoke up. "I don't know details, Miss Lizzy, but many of the Netherfield tenants seemed afraid of him. The servants, too."
The first seamstress nodded in mute agreement, then said, "My ma always said that a true gentleman treats his lessers the same as he treats his betters."
Lizzy slowly nodded. The girls had given her much to think about, and she resolved to share it with Jane at home that night. Perhaps between the two of them, they had a chance to make a good match with a kind man after all – without having to resort to chance.