Chapter 12

Meryton, October 1811

Upon arriving at the Meryton assembly, Jane and her three sisters exited the carriage, followed by their parents. When they entered the room, they were immediately struck by the number of guests. "I think everyone in Hertfordshire must be here," whispered Kitty in awe.

She was mostly correct. After hearing about the promised attendance of the illustrious guests who inhabited Netherfield, many people who typically chose to remain home for public assemblies decided to eschew their usual habits in favor of a possible introduction.

The Bennets made their way through the crowd and greeted Sir William. After many lengthy pleasantries that exceeded the short amount of time since they had last seen one another, they moved amongst the crush of people to a table near a window.

"Put your things here, girls," said their mother, "and I will watch them so as to lay claim to this table for when you are overheated."

"Mama, it's October," laughed Kitty.

"Just you wait," her mother warned, "and you will see. When there are this many couples, it will become unbearably hot before the end of the first dance."

Lizzy and Jane looked at each other. "I'd like to find Charlotte," said Lizzy.

"I will go with you," said Jane.

The two women began to move their way through the crowd, holding hands. Thankfully the musicians began to warm up, and those with partners for the first dance made their way to the floor in preparation for the first set. This allowed for more room in which to maneuver, and the two sisters quickly found their friend.

"Hello!" cried Charlotte in excitement. "You'll never guess – Mr. Jones asked me to stand up with him for the first set!"

"Mr. Jones?" said Lizzy in confusion. "Why is that exciting? He's sixty years old if he's a day."

Charlotte laughed, "No, his son! Have you not met him before? He's an apothecary, like his father, but his practice is closer to London. He is visiting for several months and has called at my house twice since I was introduced to him in Meryton this week."

"The rains have kept us indoors for several days," said Lizzy glumly. "I haven't even been allowed to go out for my daily walks."

"That is wonderful news," Jane told her friend. "Do you like him?"

"I believe I do," said Charlotte, beaming. "He seems to be a very hard worker, and he frequently came to my home when we were children. You may not remember, as he is a good deal older than the two of you. He left for London and hasn't returned to visit since his marriage."

"His marriage?" exclaimed a surprise Lizzy.

"Well, his first marriage, I should say," Charlotte clarified. "His wife died in childbirth two years after they were wed. She left behind a sickly baby girl born too early who is now six years of age. Mr. Jones brought her here for the winter because the air near London aggravates her lungs."

"Would you be ready to be a mother at the same time as being a wife?" asked Jane.

Charlotte nodded her head. "I do have seven younger siblings," she laughed. "In many ways I am like a mother already!"

Jane and Lizzy laughed with her, then congratulated her on her good fortune. Mr. Jones came shortly after to claim Charlotte for the set. He was not handsome, but he had a kindly face. He bowed politely to the Misses Bennets and expressed his great happiness in finally meeting "dear Miss Lucas's closest friends." As the two walked towards the dancing, Jane and Lizzy smiled in delight for their friend.

"Oh, I do hope he turns out to be a good man!" said Lizzy with great feeling. "I couldn't bear to imagine Charlotte in a challenging marriage."

"Should we make the efforts to discover if he is good for her, as we did with Mary?" Jane asked.

Elizabeth pondered for a few minutes. "I think so, provided we do not test him too much. We must make allowance for differences of temper, after all. Mary had the desire to marry for fond regard, and she was willing to help Mr. Collins make changes. Charlotte does not seem to have such desire. As long as he is a kind man, it should be alright."

As she spoke, the first set came to an end. The music stopped and the room broke into a myriad of conversations. The younger Mr. Jones escorted Charlotte back to her friends, where he solicited each of them for the next third and fourth sets (he was promised to Maria Lucas for the second), before turning back to Charlotte and requesting the last set. She accepted with obvious pleasure, and Mr. Jones left them to fetch Maria.

Suddenly, the doors open and all conversation ceased. Every eye turned towards the late arrivals as they were announced: "Mr. Bingley, Mrs. Bingley, Mr. Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam, Mr. Hurst, Mrs. Hurst, and Miss Bingley."

Lizzy heard Jane gasp in shock and felt her sister grab her hand. "Oh, Lizzy," whispered Jane. "It's him."

Turning to face her sister, Lizzy gasped herself at Jane's white face. "Who?" she asked urgently.

"Mr. Bingley. He's the one…. the one who left me in London," Jane said. Her blue eyes were filled with tears.

Lizzy quickly shielded Jane from view, but it was a pointless gesture as all eyes were fixed on the Netherfield guests. Jane used a delicate handkerchief to dab her eyes, then pinched her cheeks. With her customary serene smile again on her face, she appeared as though nothing was the matter.

"Are you well, Jane?" Lizzy asked. "Allow me to ask Papa to fetch the carriage for you. We can say that you came down with a sudden headache due to the crowd."

"No, I am well," said Jane.

"Very well," said Lizzy, "but do tell me if you change your mind. You will have to be introduced to him at some point. Do you think you are able to bear it?"

"I will be well, Lizzy," said Jane quietly.

The two girls clasped hands and slowly crossed the room to their table where their mother was beckoning for them. "What do you think, girls?" she cried in dismay. "There is no Mr. Bingham at all, and Mr. Bingley is marred!"

Kitty and Mary joined them. "It appears I did not completely understand my aunt Phillips after all," said Kitty ruefully.

Lizzy let out a laugh of dismay, then quickly covered her mouth. Kitty and Mary looked at her questioningly, but there was no time to speak as Sir William headed their way with Mr. Bingley and his party.

Lizzy felt Jane stiffen and grabbed her sister's hand. As they approached, they could tell the exact moment that Mr. Bingley saw Jane – he looked at her, blinked, and then turned a brilliant shade of red. Unable to stop Sir William with causing an incident, the party stopped directly in front of Mrs. Bennet.

Before Sir William could speak, Jane spoke, an act which surprised Lizzy greatly. "Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy," she said in a strong, clear voice. "How good to see you again," and she dipped a curtsy.

Mr. Darcy looked at her in confusion. Mr. Bingley bowed and glanced at his friend, then said uncertainly, "Miss Bennet. I had not thought… That is, it has been many years since we saw you in at the card party in Cheapside."

A light of recognition came on in Darcy's face, followed by a flash of what appeared to be guilt. He bowed deeply. "Miss Bennet," he said, "it is a true honor to see you again."

Mrs. Bennet, Sir William, and the rest of the party stared at them in silent uncertainty for a few moments. Then Mr. Bingley said, "Allow me to present this rest of my party. These are my sisters, Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst, along with her husband Mr. Hurst. Then here's Colonel Fitzwilliam – "

Here Fitzwilliam interrupted. "Delighted to see you again, ladies." At Bingley's expression, he said, "We met at my friend Forster's wedding. He was married to their sister."

"Erm, yes, well, this is Mr. Darcy, who has already met Miss Bennet some years ago, and lastly, Darcy's sister, who is also my wife, Georgiana." He took her hand and gently drew her forward.

Jane took a sharp breath in. For once, Lizzy was grateful for her mother's forward nature as she interjected herself and presented her remaining daughters. Bows and curtsies were exchanged. Mrs. Bennet's voice smoothed over any awkward silences, which was a novel experience for anyone related to the Bennet family.

"…what a great shame it is that we had no idea of you already knowing Jane! But that is no matter, we are all friends now. How good it is to have a family finally take Netherfield. It is clear that you are a man desirous of companions, Mr. Bingley, as shown by the large party you have brought. What do you say of our assembly, hm? We dine with four-and-twenty families, you know, and such relationships always make for the best gatherings. My girls do enjoy a good dance, all except Mary, but as she is engaged to the heir of Longbourn, it is of no matter…."

As Mrs. Bennet continued to ramble, Lizzy could feel Jane's tension slip away entirely. She was trying very hard to not look at Mrs. Bingley, but she could not help glancing over at her on occasion. Similarly, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley kept looking at each other and at Jane.

Finally, Sir William interjected himself. "Capital, capital! So good to see everyone enjoying themselves. Well, Mr. Bingley, we'd best continue on, lots of introductions to make, you know!"

At that, Mr. Bingley and his partied bowed and curtsied to the Bennet ladies. Once they were gone, Mrs. Bennet spun around to face Jane. "Jane!" she said in a shrill voice. "You did not tell me you had met such wealthy and handsome gentlemen when you were in town! Why did you return home still unmarried? With your beauty, you could have caught any of them!"

Jane blushed, but courageously said, "Mama, I do not think any of those gentlemen would have been a good match for me."

"Not a good match! Why, girl, what are saying? Don't you know the taller one has ten thousand a year?" shrieked Mrs. Bennet.

"Mama," Lizzy admonished in a harsh whisper, "lower your voice. It is many years in the past, and Mr. Bingley is married now to Mr. Darcy's sister."

"There are still two unmarried gentlemen in that group!" cried Mrs. Bennet, no quieter now than she had been before Lizzy had spoken. "Jane, you will have Mr. Darcy. With your beauty, you should catch him easily this time. Kitty, you shall have Colonel Fitzwilliam. Your liveliness will fit well with his red coat."

"And who shall be for me, Mama?" Lizzy asked in resigned amusement.

"None, because you are a wild, ungrateful girl!" declared Mrs. Bennet vehemently.

Lizzy bit her lip to keep from laughing. She then turned to Jane. "Jane, would you care to stand up with me? Even with Mr. Bingley's party, there are still not enough gentlemen, and this dance allows you to stay with your partner."

Jane acquiesced, and the two stood at the bottom of the dance. Once the music had begun, Lizzy whispered, "Oh, Jane, how brave you are!"

Her sister blushed. "I don't know what came over me. When I first saw him, it was as if I had been transported back in time. I still felt every moment of sorrow and anguish as I had that day. When I recognized his friend, however, and he introduce his wife….. well, I don't know how to describe it. Something just came over me. I could suddenly see everything clearly. I had done nothing wrong, nothing to deserve him leaving after making his attentions so plain. I have nothing to be embarrassed for. If anyone is to leave or be ashamed, it should be him."

Lizzy stared in amazement at her sister. "Bravo, Jane! I declare, that is the most unforgiving speech I have ever heard you make!"

Blushing again, Jane replied, "These last seven years since I saw him have changed my perspective on so many things. I am no longer the young girl that he made love to. Whatever made him leave, it is clear that it was more important to him than I was. I do not want a husband like that. In many ways, I am grateful he left when he did. It prevented me from marrying a man who would not have made me a good husband."

With that statement, the dance ended. They politely applauded, then Lizzy grabbed her sister in a violent hug. "My dear Jane, I am so proud of you," she whispered.

Unbeknownst to them, Georgiana had been standing behind them the majority of the dance, dancing with her cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam. She had wondered at the strange looks her husband and brother had shared during the introductions, but she had not yet had an opportunity to ask about them. When she saw the sisters stand up to dance, she had seized Fitzwilliam's hand and pulled him to the floor without a by-your-leave.

The two cousins shameless eavesdropped the entire time. Fitzwilliam had turned red with rage, and Georgiana was pale in sorrow on behalf of the beautiful eldest Bennet daughter. "It is all my fault," she said quietly in shame. "Had I not met with Wickham, Charles would have been free to marry."

Fitzwilliam looked at her in surprised. "Of course it isn't your fault!" he declared hotly. At her shushing, he lowered his voice and continued, "Did you not hear? Jane met your husband seven years ago. You were but nine years old. Whatever happened to make him leave her occurred long before your misadventure in Ramsgate."

Georgiana brightened slightly. "That is true," she conceded, "but if he had not married me to save my reputation, he would have been free when he met her again tonight. I still cannot feel as though I have separated a great love."

Fitzwilliam shook his head. "My dear," he said gently, "you have grown in a wonderful and kind woman. Part of that, however, leads you to take the blame when it is not yours to take. Yes, you should not have consorted with Wickham. But that is the only thing you are guilty of. Wickham is guilty for his dishonesty, and Bingley is guilty for leaving Miss Bennet. There is nothing you can do to change the past. All you can do is move forward with what you have."

Georgiana nodded, but her face still held doubt. He squeezed the hand that rested on his arm, escorting her to where Bingley and Darcy stood in what was apparently a heated conversation. "Talk to your husband," he encouraged. "Let him have a day or two, and if he does not approach you to initiate the conversation, then bring it up yourself. You have been married for 18 months, and you talk about everything, even if you do not share everything yet." Georgiana blushed at his reference to the marriage bed, but she nodded again, this time with confidence.

"You are right," she agreed. "I cannot change the past, nor can I hold myself responsible for things of which I had no knowledge. I am not blameless, but that does not mean I deserve to shoulder all of the blame."

As they approached, Darcy and Bingley halted their somewhat tense conversation. After a moment of silence, Bingley said with forced cheerfulness, "My dear Georgiana, would you like dance the next set with me?" She agreed, and the two joined the dance floor.

Darcy looked on, ignoring Fitzwilliam. He was thinking over the conversation he and Bingley had just had.

"Did you see her face?" Bingley had demanded. "You cannot say now that she was unmoved by our connection."

Darcy had blanched. "Bingley, I can see that now. What I did was inexcusable. I have thought back on that day several times, always with abhorrence. In that moment, I truly did not believe her heart to be touched by you. I genuinely thought that I was saving you from a match of unequal affections. Now, seven years later, I see the damage I caused."

Bingley had paced back and forth in front of Darcy, ignoring the beckoning waves of Miss Bingley from across the room. "It is my fault as well. I had made her promises, assurances of my return, and yet I disappeared without even a word. I am a cad of the worst sort. I justified it to myself that she would have moved on to another wealthy man. It is very obvious that she did not. I allowed myself to be led by you, and I let your observations of one evening override the multiple experiences I had had with her that spoke to the contrary."

Letting out a sigh of frustration, Bingley stopped pacing. "There is clearly nothing I can do to change the situation. I am, after all, married. I doubt Miss Bennet would receive me even if I weren't. Either way, I am a much different person than I was seven years ago, and I imagine that she is as well. She appears to carry herself differently. But no matter, I cannot change it. What I can do, however, is make amends the best way that I can."

"How do you propose to do that?" Darcy had asked. The question was still unanswered, having been asked the moment before Georgiana and Fitzwilliam had joined them.

Darcy hated himself. As his eyes moved around the room, he asked himself the same question: how can I make this right?