Harry sat in the corner of a cell, no longer pondering what had happened to him, but what he wished he had accomplished before it did. He didn't know how long he had been there, although he did know that it hadn't been years, because although his hair was to mid back, he was barely beginning to grow facial hair. He did not know to whom he was captive but he did know it wasn't Voldemort. Twice a day he was given a strange food that was brought to him in such a way that he never saw who delivered it.

Harry figured that he was about 16 by now, having been captured by Voldemort at the Department of Mysteries when he was 15. He wondered if Sirius, his godfather, was ok, as it had been a trap and he hadn't seen him that night. He hoped that he had escaped and had been declared free from the horrible injustice done to him.

There were many things he wished he had been able to do before his mysterious incarceration. He even made up a list:1)Defeat Voldemort 2)Find a Girlfriend 3)Make the Dursleys pay 4)Go to Disneyland 5)Become an Animagus 6)Travel outside of Britain. All of these, of course, were not necessarily in order. Actually, Voldemort was last and Disneyland first. I mean, who REALLY wants to battle a mean, evil, snake-like thing?

He was startled by a yell, which was almost unbearable to his ears, which hadn't heard sound in who knew how long. All of a sudden, a man appeared, looking as peeved as hell.

"Not again!" He groaned. Then he looked up, saw Harry, and froze. "Who are you?"

"Harry. You?" Harry's voice was scratchy and barely audible. Testament, to how long it had been since he had used it.

"Jack." The man was brusque, barely disguising his surprise. "Why are you here?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. I don't even know where we are." At this, the man looked flummoxed, as though someone had hit him over the head with a sledge hammer.

"You don't know where you are?"

"No. One minute I'm fighting an evil wizard, and the next I am here with no way out. Believe me, I've tried."

Silence reigned for a few minutes before Jack started laughing. "Here we are. Me, a man who wanted to get into prison and you, who never wanted to be here in the first place."

Harry smiled for a second and then paused. "So, where ARE we?"

"We are in the space ship of a Gua'uld named Horus." Harry looked extremely bewildered at this. What was a Gua'uld? "A Gua'uld is an alien parasite which is trying to take over the universe, one galaxy at a time."

"Right." Harry said, the 'R' syllable long and drawn out.

"What?" Jack cried. "You don't believe me?"

"Of course I do. Just like I believe Merlin was actually a monkey and should be well known for his extraordinary feat in evolution." Harry said sarcastically. Jack just stared at him stunned.

"Kid, you have problems." he said.

"Since when is that new?" Harry replied. "At least I am not in fear of my life this time."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. My team is on its way and will be blowing this place up in about an hour." Jack replied.

Wow, Harry thought, one hour to live

Wow, Harry thought, one hour to live. What to do? "Do you want to play Rock, Paper, scissors?" He asked the man, Jack.

"What?"

"Well, we have an hour to live. I would rather not do so in silence and boredom."

"I have a better idea." Jack replied.

The group of three, a woman, an alien and a man, made their way through the halls of Horus' spaceship, guns blazing.

"How much time do we still have?" The woman asked.

"15 minutes until detonation." The alien replied curtly.

"We need to hurry." The man said, before coming to a halt. "According to the diagrams from the ships computer, we should be coming onto the holding cells any moment." The trio walked another few feet before stopping abruptly at a sharp noise.

"What was that?" She asked.

"It sounded like laughter. That can't be right, though. Who would laugh while being held prisoner?"

"O'neill." Was said stoically.

"Yah, him, maybe."

"No. O'Neill's laughter." The two looked at each other. How was he always able to hone in on Jack so quickly? This was coming to seem eerily like obsession. Shrugging, as this was a topic for a time where they were not liable to get shot, they followed the other worldly being down the corridor where the laughter was getting louder and another voice was joining in.

"It is an adolescent male coming into manhood." Was their companion's assessment.

"Well, do you want to do the honors?" The man asked of tall dark and silent.

"Of course." He said and fired at the locking mechanism of the holding cell. As they stepped in they were not prepared for what they saw. There was their team leader, Jack ONeill tangled up with a teenage boy, whose messy hair covered any distinguishable features, in a game of 'twister.' As they opened the door, they startled the two players and they were now on the ground laughing even harder.

Seeing the uniforms the new comers wore, the teen sighed and remarked to his companion: "And here I was looking forward to dying."