Secrets Which Tear the Heart Apart
"That's right! Leave! Leave and never come back, you bastard!" the blonde yelled at his lover, through tears of anger and fear. Fear of losing the only one he'd ever truly loved.
"You bet I will! Just watch me!" said lover yelled back, just as furiously, as he picked up his heavy suitcase full of all his stuff and headed towards the door. The blonde watched, gritting his teeth, from anger or from fear he did not know.
"I never want to see your horrid face again, Potter!" The blonde watched as a brief flash of hurt crossed Harry's features. Draco hadn't called him by his last name in many years now, five to be exact, since seventh year, the year that nearly everyone died. But the hurt expression in his features was gone as soon as it had come.
Harry set his face with a cold angered glare. It took all of Draco's strength to not break down and cry in pain, fall to his knees, and forgive Harry; to beg Harry to stay.
Har-No Potter stormed out the front door, seething with white hot rage. Draco watched as the door slammed closed behind him. When he heard the *pop!* indicating Har-Potter was gone, the blonde walked numbly into the living room, collapsed to his knees, and began to cry.
*A week later*
Draco awoke feeling empty, broken, and alone. Completely and utterly alone. It's been a week since he kicked Harry out. He can't stand the silence. He can't stand the pain. He can't stand the emptiness. He can't stand being alone… But most of all he can't stand the memories.
Tiredly, Draco got up off the couch he had been sleeping on for the past week. He glance once around the room. His silver gaze landed on a dark corner. He regretted it as a horrible memory came and played itself in his head.
Draco stumbled away from him, saying in a terrified tone "N-No. Pl-Please… don't. Don't do this, Ron. Y-You know I love Harry…"
In his drunken state, Ron just laughed darkly. "I know, Dra'o. But 'onight your mine."
The blonde began to step backwards as he approached. "Ron, listen to me. Y-you're just drunk! Y-Y-You're not gay! Harry is your best mate. D-D-Don't defile me and l-lose your best mate! Please… I beg you. Ron don't- Ah!" Draco backed himself into a wall.
The ginger laughed wickedly as he pinned the blonde teen between himself and the wall. He slid his hand under the former Deatheater's shirt. Draco gasped sharply in surprise and shivered at the cold hands touching him. His back arched slightly when Ron rolled the blonde's nipples between his thumb and pointer finger.
Draco was mentally calling for his boyfriend, Harry, but… in reality… his body arched and withered in pain and in pleasure beneath the drunken ginger.
Draco shuttered at the horrid memory. He had been raped by a drunken Ronald Weasley. And the worst part was the Ron remembered nothing about it in the morning.
The blonde began to tremble. That had been so terribly horrid. And he hadn't told Harry about it either. He didn't want Harry to know; to know he was defiled, impure, dirtied.
Harry… Draco swallowed thickly. Everything thought he had somehow turned him to think of Harry. Draco had long since given up trying to think of him as Potter. It just didn't happen, didn't work. He was too much in love with Harry.
Shaking his head free of such thoughts, the blonde exited the living room and went into the kitchen. He used his wand to make the kettle brew tea for him. Then he sat at the kitchen table. He realized that wasn't such a good idea a little too late as another memory tormented him.
Harry smiled at the nervous Draco sitting across from him as he took a bite of the first hand-made dinner the blonde had made. The raven haired chewed it thoroughly before swallowing. Draco was losing patience and was becoming anxious.
"And…?" Draco asked, practically shaking from anxiety and nerves. Harry laughed softly before saying. "Draco, it taste wonderful."
Silver eyes lit up. "Really? It's not undercooked or overcooked or too crispy or not crispy enou-" A finger came to rest on pale lips, hushing Draco as he looked at the finger than at those emeralds that sparkle with life.
"It's perfect." Harry smiled softly before leaning over the table, cupping Draco's cheeks, and kissing him deeply yet sweetly.
Draco came back to himself and felt like crying. He couldn't believe Harry actually left. His Harry. His Harry actually left him. He left without a second glace.
Draco found tears blurring his vision. He wiped at his eyes furiously. No. He would not cry. He would not allow his heart the weakness, the satisfaction of crying. Taking a deep shuttering breath, he left his newly made cup of tea on the table which Harry had picked out, desperate to leave the kitchen.
The blonde went into the hall and up the stairs. He didn't let himself go back into a memory while on the stairs. That memory where he had tripped down the stairs and nearly broken his foot, but Harry had caught him, saved him.
He entered the first door to his left, the bedroom, Draco's bedroom, their bedroom…
Silver eyes roamed the room. The room was a mess. Draco's clothes lay everywhere on the floor, on the desk, halfway hanging out of drawers… Some clothes were even splayed on the bed. But Harry had done that while digging for all his clothes. Broken glass and picture frames littered the floor. They were all pictures of Draco and Harry. A few pieces of a broken vase also caught the former Slytherin's eye. Blood also dotted and stained the nice cream colored rug on the wooden floor.
Draco remembered how this room got trashed. His mind wouldn't let him forget.
Anger and pain. That was all he could feel. He couldn't believe Harry! Why couldn't he just allow Draco to have his one little secret?! Why couldn't he respect that Draco didn't want to tell him?!
Draco saw the photos of him and Harry, those happy moments were Draco was the reason for that dazzling smile of Harry's. A large pang of pain coursed through him. He picked up the black frame and threw it across the room, feeling more pain when he heard the satisfying sound of glass shattering. He did it again and again, the pain increasing with every broken picture of them.
The tears wouldn't stop falling. He couldn't see what he was doing anymore. He stumbled around the room. He knocked something over, and it shattered as it hit the floor. He realized it was the vase that Harry thought was ugly. This took a slight bit of the pain away but only a slight bit.
The heart-broken blonde felt sharp pains in his feet but ignored them. He deserved pain. It is his fault Harry let. He was the one in fault. He was the one who wouldn't tell… He collapsed to his knees in anguish. It was all his fault Harry left. He was the one to blame.
Suddenly all the fight in the blonde gave away as he accepted the horrible truth that was this: Harry was never coming back.
Draco snapped out of remembering and found it extremely difficult to breathe. His chest and throat were tight. His heart was in pain. It hurt. It hurt to no end. Draco couldn't take it.
The Slytherin broke once more. He seemed to break, at the very least, once a day since Harry had left. He couldn't help it. His body couldn't take it anymore. He broke down sobbing, his body shaking violently with each sob.
Draco sobbed and cried and whimpered and trembled till his passed out on the floor in the shattered glass of broken picture frames and broken pieces of the ugly vase his mother had given him that Harry hated, laying on random miscellaneous pieces of his own clothes.
Draco awoke with a pounding in his temple. He groan softly and raised a very heavy hand to his throbbing head. He struggled to open his eyes. When he had managed to, his silver eyes met worry-filled chocolate brown ones. Blinking in surprise, since he was too tired and too sore to do anything else, Draco opened his lips to speak but found he didn't have the energy.
Hermione sat back a bit, her worried eyes filling with sadness. "Draco…?" she asked softly, "Can you hear me?"
Her soft concerned voice was like honey to his ears. It seemed to help sooth the pounding in his head. "Yes…" he choked out. His voice sounded raw and sore as if he had been screaming for all he was worth for hours. Which… technically he had been…
Hermione seemed to feel a wave of relief, for her body language said as much. Tension seemed to leave her tense shoulders and tight eyebrows and lips. She seemed to sink down into herself in relief. Draco wanted to ask why, but he did not have the energy.
The muggle-born seemed to realize what he wanted to know and spoke softly. "Draco… I came by earlier to return a book and to make sure you were alright… But I found you on the floor in your bedroom in a pool of blood…" Tears filled her soft brown eyes as she whispered, "I thought you to be dead…"
The blonde forced his muscles to work. He used his heavy arms to sit himself up, wincing as severe pain courses through his back and thighs. He hissed in pain. Very alarmed, Hermione helped him to gently rest back on a pillow in a sitting position.
"Why…? Why…?" Draco croaked out, his throat protesting. Hermione made the blonde drink a Throat Soothing Draught before she spoke. "Why are you in pain?"
Draco nodded.
"Well… I found you and took you to my house. Ron-" Draco flinched at his name, which Hermione raised an eyebrow at but didn't question, "-was very surprised to see you so injured. We took you here, to our guest bedroom. Your entire back and your upper thighs were covered in glass that was embedded in your skin. Some were in deeper than others. Some still resides in your back. We couldn't get it out just yet. You would have lost too much blood. Which reminds me. You need to drink this." Hermione pressed the potion up to his lips. Draco drank it, knowing what it was.
"It's a Blood Replenishing Potion. It's a strong one. You needed it badly." Hermione stated pointedly. Draco nodded slightly. He looked down at himself. He noticed the white gauze wrapped around his torso that continued down his body, passed his view where the silken satin sheets blocked it. He realized that Granger must have unclothed him and that made him blush slightly.
The blonde turned his view back to the Gryffindor once his blush had died away. Then he heard the sound of a door creaking open. He looked towards the door to see Ron Weasley standing there, seeming worried as well. He had become a distant friend of his when he had been dating Harry.
Pushing that thought away, he swallowed thickly and took at deep shaking breath. The redhead walked in and came over to his wife. He took at seat beside her. Draco had to fight and resist the overpowering urge to run.
Calm down, Draco… Ron Weasley loves Hermione. He will not harm you. He was drunk… He did not intend to rape you… He does not wish to harm you…
Draco took in a shaky breath, and Hermione placed a comforting hand on his leg. "Draco… is it…" she hesitated. She and her husband of two years exchanged sad glances.
"Is this because of Harry?" she asked softly in a gentle quiet tone of sympathy and comfort.
The blonde's breathing hitched. Emotional and mental pain latched onto his heart and soul at the sound of his name. Pain laced into his usually-guarded silver eyes. He felt his heart shatter for what seemed like the millionth time since Harry left.
The muggle-born gasped softly at the pain, the deep pain, in those dull silver eyes. They seemed so lifeless, so dull, so hopeless. The only life in those pained eyes were the emotion that showed he was living, that show he was human like the rest of the world.
Ron was troubled with how deep the pain ran in those silver eyes. It pulled on his heartstrings. It made him feel sympathy, pity and even sorrow for the blonde. It made his heart hurt for the Slytherin. He wished there was something he could do.
Suddenly, the Slytherin began to cry silently, his body shaking with quiet sobs. Hermione was startled, same as Ron. Draco couldn't help the tears from falling. It was his fault.
"It's my fault!" Draco choked out through tears. "Harry left, and it's my fault! All my fault!" he whimpered pathetically. He probably was pathetic, but he honestly didn't care at this point. He was too far lost to care about anything anymore.
"Oh, Draco! I'm sure Harry is at fault too." Hermione said, offering her words as comfort. 'She probably doesn't believed them' was all it made the blonde think about. It didn't help to comfort him. He was beyond believing anything more than it was his fault.
"No! You're wrong!" Draco exclaimed, wiping at the continuously falling tears. "It is my fault! I wouldn't tell him!"
"Tell him what, Draco?" Hermione asked gently, curious sparking her interest. The blonde shook his head as he hid his tear-streaked flushed-cheeked face in his hands, his body quaking with his sobs.
The clever Gryffindor looked to her husband and said softly. "Why don't you go make him a cup of peppermint tea while I calm him down a bit?" Ron nodded gratefully. He could be useful in this way. He didn't do well with emotions, especially unhappy ones. He left to go make tea for the sobbing blonde.
Hermione climbed up onto the bed and next to Draco. She pulled him gently into her arms, hushing him in a motherly way. "Sh… Draco… it will be alright… you can tell me… I won't judge you…"
Her tone and voice were so soothing, so caring. They made Draco calm down to soft whimpers and a slight case of hiccups. Hermione rubbed soothing circles carefully on a spot of his back that wasn't injured. When Draco felt calm enough to speak, he opened his eyes to heavy-lidded ones.
The blonde began to speak softly, almost inaudibly, still trembling a bit. "H-Harry wo-would *hic* h-hate me… I-I couldn't te-tell *hic* hi-hi-him… Her-Her-Hermione. H-He wo-would ha-have l-l-left me anyw-way *hic* if-if I did." Draco sniffed
"No… No, no, no…" Hermione chided softly, gently, "I'm sure he wouldn't have left you anyway. Is that the only reason you can't tell him?"
Draco sniffed before admitting, "N-No."
"Well, can you tell me?"
"B-But…" Draco hesitated unsure before continuing reluctantly. He needed to get it out anyway.
"Oh-oh-okay…" Draco obliged defeatedly. "He-He didn't me-mean to… but he-he did… H-He was dr-dr-drunk." Draco swallowed thickly, lip trembling violently. "H-He didn't re-remember whe-whe-when he ca-came to-to-to…"
"Who didn't?" Hermione prompted gently, her clever mind trying to figure this thing out. Draco wiped at his eye with his left hand, which trembled slightly. "I-I can't s-say. H-He doesn't re-remember… H-He was dr-drunk."
"Can I guess who, Dray? Will you say yes if I guess right?"
"I-I gu-gu-guess *hic*…" he sniffled. Hermione nodded gently, thinking. "Is it someone I know?"
Draco nodded into her shoulder. Hermione nodded. "Hm… is it a Slytherin?"
"N-No…" the Slytherin said brokenly. The muggleborn thought for a moment. "A male?"
Draco tensed visibly.
"Y-Ye-Ye-Yes-ssss…" Draco seemed to be close to crying again as well. It broke Hermione's heart. The blonde was really broken, worse than she thought. Whatever this secret was -which she believed was rape- was killing him, eating him alive.
"D-Don't… w-will hu-hurt…" he whimpered.
Hermione blinked. Will hurt? What will? She wondered. Does he mean it will hurt him to admit it? Or hurt… herself?
"Is it Neville? Or maybe Seamus? Harry, Ron, Dean?"
"Y-Y-Yes…" Draco replied in a choked strangled noise. Hermione froze. Hmmmm… She was close…
"Seamus?"
She got a shake of the head. No.
"Neville?"
She figured it wouldn't be him, and as excepted got a no. Neville is too unsure of himself to do anything like that. Plus, Neville isn't cruel. He's kind and a bit shy.
"Harry?"
She cause Draco to tense, but he was also a negative. It wasn't Harry. Then, she silently cursed herself. Of course it wasn't Harry! This was a secret from Harry. She was stupid for asking that.
"Dean?"
Draco hesitated before shaking his head no. Hermione froze. Ron…? Ron did… whatever it was that he can't tell Harry. No wonder he couldn't tell Harry. Ron was Harry's best mate.
Swallowing and dreading the answer that was to come, Hermione asked Draco in a quiet voice, hoping it wasn't what she suspected but knowing deep in her heart that it was. "Did Ron… rape you?"
The Slytherin just buried his head into her shoulder and began to cry silently once more. She took that as a yes.
"Oh Draco…" she said softly, feeling a slight pain in her heart. Ron raped Draco… but she was his wife… He should have come to her…
She felt silent warm tears leave her eyes as she held Draco close, trying to comfort him while trying to comfort herself.
Draco awoke in the same bed a few days later. He was still at Hermione's. He had told her his secrets. He felt better, less broken, like he could stand on his own finally. Draco sat himself up with only slight pain as the door to his guest bedroom opened.
He looked up to see Ron. Draco was proud of himself when he didn't feel the overpowering urge to run. All he felt was fear, but fear that he could control. Draco took a slow deep breath. The redhead walked in slowly. He seemed tired and stressed out.
The redhead sat on the foot of the bed. He sighed deeply. Curious, Draco asked quietly, his throat still a bit raw and sore from the other day, "Are you alright?"
Ron looked up at him with a sad look. "No. 'Mione isn't acting her usual self."
"Oh?" Draco raised an eyebrow as he tensed slightly. Ron didn't seem to notice. "Yeah… and I dunno why…" he sighed again and ran a hand through his ginger hair, "And it stresses me out…"
"Why don't you talk to her? Ask her why?" the blonde asked softly, his voice quiet. Ron looked at Draco and smiled. "That's a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?! I'll go talk to her!"
The Gryffindor grinned and stood up. "Thanks, Draco!" he exclaimed. Then he left the blonde. Draco sighed. Hermione can tell him… But I doubt he'll believe…
The blonde looked at the newly closed door and sighed sadly. He was never going to get Harry back…
Swinging his feet out from under the covers, Draco tentatively stood up. His legs felt weak. His whole body felt weak, actually. His legs shook slightly with the effort of holding himself up, and Draco took a few steps towards the door before leaning his weight onto the nearest object, which was a vanity. The blonde waited till his breathing slowed a bit before going the rest of the way to the door.
When he reached the door, he practically collapsed against it. Draco grunted slightly. When did I become so heavy?! he thought, frustratedly, as he tried to stand back up.
When he finally succeeded in standing up, he opened the door. He stepped out into the hallway before collapsing to his knees, out of energy. Draco tried to calm his heavy breathing as he sat there on his knees.
The blonde decided to crawl. He placed his hands on the soft cream colored carpet and began his journey, limbs trembling. His stomach growled. To the kitchen… He thought as he crawled his way there.
"Draco…?"
Draco looked up from the floor. He saw Hermione giving him a weird look. The blond sat back on his knees and muttered embarrassedly, flushing red. "I can't walk…"
"Here," Hermione said as she kneeled by the blonde, trying not to laugh in amusement. She help him stand, "Let me help you."
Blushing with embarrassment, Draco let her lead him downstairs to the kitchen. Together the two went down the stairs and into the lovely Gryffindor colored kitchen.
Hermione helped Draco to sit down in a chair at the lovely wooden table. After thanking her, the blonde looked around the kitchen. The walls were Gryffindor red and along the ceiling and floor gold rimmed the room. The tiles on the floor were a beige color. Draco was brought back to himself when his stomach growled loudly. He turned red in embarrassment.
Hermione smiled amusedly. "Hungry, Draco?"
"Yes." Draco admitted embarrassedly. The former Gryffindor giggled slightly and said, "Then, let me make us breakfast."
"Alright."
He watched her make breakfast. He had made breakfast once before. He had tried for Harry's eighteenth birthday. They had been dating for around a year. Before he could put a halt on his brain, Draco was pulled down memory lane.
"Harry." Draco spoke softly, gently nudging his sleeping lover. His dark haired lover grumbled in his sleep. The blonde giggled uncharacteristically. He then smiled and climbed out of bed. He Accioed his silver silk robe to him and slipped it on his naked body.
Draco hummed softly to himself as he went down the stairs to the kitchen. He arrived in the kitchen and took out a beginner's cookbook. Finding an easy recipe, Draco got started. He was going to make pancakes. That seemed easy enough.
Draco got out the flour and the sugar. He also got out a big glass bowl. Looking at the list of ingredients, he got out the butter, eggs, and vanilla. He began to mix the ingredients. After two failed batter mixes, he finally managed to make a decent batch of batter.
Smiling in victory, Draco read the next step. He was suppose to use a skillet… what was a skillet?
Now stumped, the blonde began to look for what he thought a skillet might be. Maybe it's a way to cook the pancakes… Draco thought, curiously. So, he took out a frying pan and went over to the stove. He set it on top and turned a random knob, not sure what the knobs do. Seeing on top of the oven a red circle, he put the frying pan on it. Then, Draco proceeded to pour batter into the pan.
Harry awoke to the smell of something burning and the sound of the fire alarms. Suddenly alert, the raven haired man scrambled to find his glasses and put them on. Once he managed to, he rushed out into the kitchen in just boxers. What met his eyes was a bit of a shock.
Draco stood there, fanning at the smoking stove top with what looked to be a whisk. He was covered in batter and flour. Harry couldn't help the smile that was trying to creep onto his face. "Draco…?" he asked, trying not to laugh.
The blonde looked up startled. His silver eyes were wide and surprised. He blushed. "Harry! W-What are you doing up…?"
"Well…" Harry grinned, "I was awaken by the smell of burning batter and the sound of fire alarms…"
Draco frowned and looked down, ashamed. "I… I'm sorry, Harry… I… I didn't mean…"
The raven haired man smiled softly and took the sad blonde into his arms. Draco was startled. "H-Harry…?"
Harry laughed softly into his hair. "Draco, let me help. It's sweet that you were trying to make me breakfast… but maybe you should ask someone what everything is first and how to use it."
Draco blushed modestly. "Sorry…"
"No need to apologize, love. Now… lets clean this mess up." Harry smiled. "Oh and Draco…"
"Yeah?"
"A skillet is not a way to cook pancakes."
"Oh."
Draco snapped out of it as a plate was set in front of him and Hermione's voice reached his ears. "Here you are, Draco. Eggs and bacon."
The blonde looked down at the food, suddenly not hungry anymore. But Hermione had just went through all that trouble… he should eat it. "Draco… Are you alright?"
The blonde looked up at the brunette who seems to have seen his conflicted emotions raging in his eyes. He forced a smile. "Fine. I'm fine…" As if to prove he was, he picked up his fork and took a bite of the eggs.
Hermione looked like she didn't believe him, but she left it. Draco swallowed thickly and finished off the bite of eggs he had in his mouth. He didn't want anymore. He discreetly pushed the plate away from him. Why did everything remind him of Harry?
Just then, a very distressed Ron came running into the kitchen, spooking the two. "'Mione! Help! I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen! He's coming in! I couldn't just tell him to leave! I mean I am his best mate and all!"
Hermione waited till he was done, pursing her lips. Then, she spoke, "Who is here, Ron?"
Ron's blue eyes were full of distress, and an apology was on his lips. But before he could reply, a very familiar voice reached Draco's pale ears. His silver hues widened. No. No… No! Not him of all people. Why now?!
"Hey, Ron, you were wrong, 'Mione is not in the living roo-"
Harry Potter's sentence abruptly stopped when his eyes landed on Draco Malfoy. The tension in the room just got thicker by quite a few pounds.
"Draco…" Harry breathed out quickly, almost inaudibly. His gaze quickly left the blonde as hurt and pain flashed through his eyes.
The blonde stared at his food, having nothing else to look at. It was taking all his will power not to break down and cry. Though he wasn't crying, Draco couldn't stop the shaking in his hands, even when he clasped them together firmly.
Draco squeezed his eyes shut as he was sure they held tears. Shaking his head once, he opened his eyes and blinked a few tears back. Having barely composed himself, he looked up to the three others in the room who were all currently watching him. Making what he thought to be an indifferent expression, his silver eyes met Harry's.
Harry had the modesty to look up sheepishly and scratch the back of his neck. The blonde wiped a stray tear quickly as the Savior was not looking at him.
Hermione decided to break the tense silence. "So… Harry," she cleared her throat, "why are you here?"
Harry's emerald gaze turned to her. "Oh… oh yeah… I came to see if you had that book I let you borrow… Ginny wants to read it."
Draco squeezed his eyes shut in pain. Harry… Harry had… replaced him? Already? This time he couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks. The blonde swiftly stood up to leave, drawing everyone's attention. He stumbled and steadied himself on the chair.
"Draco! Sit down." Hermione chided, "You aren't strong enough!"
The blonde looked at her, and she gasped. His face was tear-stained, his eyes red. "I-I don't care. I… I n-need a-air…"
With that said, Draco bravely managed to barely run from the kitchen. He could feel the enormous effort it took to move his legs and stay standing. He could feel the strain he was putting on his body. But he ignored the calls of his name that reached his ears. He ignore the voices that were Hermione's, Ron's, and… Harry's…
He stumbled and fell in the living room. Defeated, Draco didn't bother to stand up or try to move. He laid there as he cried, suddenly unable to stop or hold back the tears any longer. He let himself cry. His heart had finally been feeling somewhat alright. He hadn't felt whole -nope, nowhere near whole- , but he had felt somewhat alright. But seeing Harry, his Harry, and having him be taken by that She-Weasel was unbearable. He couldn't take the pain his heart was going through. It was just too much, just too much.
Draco didn't hear footsteps as he cried into the plush carpet of the living room floor. He was oblivious to Hermione as she and Ron ran into the room. And he was completely oblivious to Harry as he knelt by his side.
Harry couldn't believe his eyes. First, he found out that his best friends had his ex in their kitchen, only to have said ex run out of the room in what he assumed was tears. But… as Harry looked down at the blonde's shaking form, he realized something. He realized Draco was broken, unbelievably broken.
Harry knelt by Draco's side and gently set his hand on the blonde's trembling back. When the male didn't react, Harry felt courageous and gently used his other hand to maneuver and manhandle the blonde into his lap. He held Draco closely to his chest and started to gently rock the whimpering and weeping form as he rubbed soothing circles on his back. Harry began to murmur soft words of reassurance into the blonde's ear. This made the Savior of the Wizarding remember when he use to hold Draco like this when he had nightmares of the war.
Draco eventually calmed down a bit. The tears stop flowing, and the blonde now had hiccups. He wiped his eyes with his left hand, his head still resting against the right side of Harry's chest. Sniffing, he looked to Hermione, who seemed to be watching him curiously, as if unsure as to why he didn't fight Harry.
Draco's gaze turned to Ron, who looked a bit uncomfortable, as if unsure as to what he should do; protect his guest or side with his best mate. Finally, after long moments of tense awkward silence, the couple just left the room to give the two privacy, unsure what else they could do.
Suddenly, Draco became insecure. He didn't know if he could move from his current spot ever. Cause if he did… he'd have to face Harry. But… Harry decided to talked to him, meaning Draco would have to face him anyway.
The raven haired man gently moved Draco in such a way that he was still in Harry's lap but also able to see his face. Draco swallowed nervously. He didn't know what to do.
Harry's lips quirked at the corners, forming a slight smile. His emerald eyes met Draco's teary silver ones. "Draco…"
The blonde looked down when Harry said his name. He was ashamed. He cried. He had cried in front of his ex. He had been weak and pathetic. He was such a wimp. He was embarrassed. His pride was wounded. Why must he still love Harry?
Draco heard a slight sigh reach his ears, causing him to look at Harry once more. He was slightly surprised to find the man looked defeated and… sad.
Harry's eyes, which could hide nothing, met Draco's. They help such regret, sorrow, and pain. "Draco…" Harry started with a breath of courage, but he did not continue as the courage fled immediately. He sighed softly, looking away.
This made the blonde shift in the raven haired man's lap. He moved so that he was straddling Harry. He gently cupped Harry's cheeks and forced him to look at him. "H-Harry…" his voice wavered.
Draco searched the emeralds before him. Harry's eyes held confusion. Draco licked his lips nervously, glancing off to the side, though he could feel that Harry's gaze never left his face.
"I-I'm sorry…" the blonde murmured softly. Then, he released Harry's face and stood up. Draco fled the room, like the coward he knew he was.
Hermione looked to her husband. "Ron, you think they will end up fixing their relationship?"
"Dunno, 'Mione. Harry's not the most… forgiving. His pride gets in the way usually… and Draco is a bit of a coward."
"Ron!" she smacked him upside the head. He winced. "What?! He is!"
She sighed annoyed. "Whatever."
The redhead looked at his wife and pursed his lips. "'Mione…?"
The bushy haired woman looked to her husband. "Yes?"
"Um…" he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, "Look… I know I did something to upset you… I'm not entirely sure what… but I'm sorry. I miss you, 'Mione. You're acting so distant. And it makes me feel lonely."
Hermione's brown eyes softened as she looked at her beloved husband. "Oh Ron… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to become distant to you, love." she approached him and wrapped her arms around his chest, going under his arms. "I love you, Ron."
Ron paused before wrapping his arms around his wife, surprised. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you too, Hermione, so much."
Then, Harry comes barging into the kitchen. Ron loosened his hold a bit but didn't release his wife. Hermione gave Harry a curious look. "What happened? Where's Draco?"
This made the Savior of the Wizarding World sigh. "He fled…"
"Told ya, 'Mione. Draco chickened out."
"Ron!" She smacked him again. Harry watched, partially bemused. The redhead rubbed his head. "Ow…"
This caused Harry to chuckle. Hermione turned her attention to her friend. "Harry… why didn't you go after him? Or… do you not still want him…?"
Harry looked at her astounded. "Of course I still want Draco! What would make you think I didn't?!"
"Well…" Hermione and her husband exchanged glances, "He has been… let's just say depressed for lack of a better word. It's been a month and a week, and he still can't get over you, Harry…"
She sighed softly as she remembered how she had found the blonde in his house, laying in glass and his own blood. She shook her head slightly and looked back at Harry. "He wrecked the house you two shared… I found him in there when I was looking for him to borrow a book I knew he had… I found him laying in broken glass and a pool of his own blood… I brought him here with Ron's help. We've been taking care of him and nursing him back to health, Harry. He needs you. He thinks this is all his fault. He thinks you hate him…"
"Hate him…?" Harry breathed out quietly, his eyes wide, not believing his ears. "Just because we broke up… doesn't mean I hate him…"
"You need to tell him that, Harry… I don't know how much longer we'll have him before he decides he can't take life anymore." Hermione said softly, her eyes grim.
Ron nodded to support his wife. Harry ran from the kitchen, not even bothering to say goodbye. He needed to find Draco. They needed to talk. And fast.
Draco ran down the Wizarding streets of London, stumbling quite a few times, till he reached the way into the muggle world. He took out his wand and pressed the bricks in a certain sequence. Then, the bricks made a way for him to pass into Muggle London. He swiftly passed through the doorway it created and hid his wand. Weakly, he walked hastily down the streets, bumping into a few muggles along the way.
He eventually stopped and took a look around himself and at his surroundings. He was lost. As a child he was never allowed near the muggles because they were 'unworthy of a wizard's presence' and 'less than dirt'. But… they didn't seem so bad. The ones he had bumped into smiled and apologized as if they were the ones who ran into him. Draco had manage to smile at them and nod. He hadn't known what else to do.
Now, he was lost, and it was becoming chilly. The sun was beginning to set. And Draco had no idea what to do or where to go. He swallowed thickly, looking around.
He decided that maybe he should talk to a muggle. Maybe they could help him. So, the blonde cautiously walked on shaky legs to a woman sitting on a bench. He shivered slightly, and then he used the manners his mother taught him. "Excuse me, miss."
She looked up from her book and smiled slightly at him. "Hello, how may I help you?"
Draco smiled slightly, unsure. Her green eyes watched him kindly. Her hair was cinnamon red and spiraled down in soft curls. Her skin was more towards the paler side. The blonde shiver slightly and said, "Do you happen to know of a place I can stay for the night? The nearest inn maybe?"
She put a bookmark in the book she was reading and stood up. She smiled and said, "Let me lead you there. It's just down the street."
"Thank you." Draco manage to say. It felt nice to talk to a muggle. He didn't feel disgust or annoyance like his father had told him he should. Her smile widened. The blonde had to admit, she was extremely beautiful and her smile was her best feature. He felt a sudden desire to tell her that.
"Miss, your smile is beautiful."
Her cheeks gained a bit of red coloring. "Why thank you." she smiled, "And my name is Cinnamon Spice; Spice being my last name."
"Cinnamon Spice?" Draco smiled amusedly. She blushed more intensely, causing the blonde to laugh softly. "Yeah… My parents are a bit odd. I mean, I even have a brother named Oregano." she laugh along with him.
Smiling, the wizard said, "Well, my name is Draco Malfoy."
"Nice to meet you, Draco." she smiled once more. Draco found her smile contagious, just like Harry's was. He soon found his lips curling into a smile of his own.
"Well, Draco Malfoy, let us go find that hotel." Cinnamon said. Her voice was light and cheerful. Draco liked it. He decided he wanted a daughter with Cinnamon's personality. He smiled, "Yes, let's."
Harry couldn't find Draco anywhere in Wizarding London. He had asked random wizards even if they had seen the blonde. One managed to tell him something useful. He had told Harry that Draco had went into Muggle London. Which caused the raven haired man to, of course, immediately go to the muggle world.
He then proceeded to ask random muggles if they had seen a pale male with platinum blonde hair and silver eyes. A few could point him in a direction. He thanked them and continued on.
Eventually, he reached yet another street that held no blonde and sighed. The man ran a hand through his black hair and straightened his glasses. This was hopeless. He was never going to find Draco.
Then, as he was turning to return the way he came, his eyes caught a glimpse of that silken blonde hair he loves so much. Harry turned toward that flash of blonde and saw Draco talking to a lovely girl with beautiful auburn hair as they approached a hotel.
Harry's eyes filled with hope, and then he felt crushed. His eyes dulled. Draco was with a girl. Maybe the blonde liked her. Maybe they were more then friends. He sighed and thought to himself, I should at least fix the bridge. I should at least attempt to have a relationship with him, even if it's only friendship."
Determined yet heartbroken, Harry started over there. They were walking slowly as they had gotten lost in conversation.
Draco was surprised at how easy Cinnamon was to talk to. Maybe they were just talking about silly things like what they had always wanted or simple dreams they had had, but it was still nice.
As they drew near to the hotel, Cinnamon said, "Yeah. I use to want to be a ballerina when I was a little girl. I even took ballet lessons."
"What happened?" Draco asked curiously. She sighed softly, "Well… my dance instructor told my mother that wasn't good enough to continue to go to class… So, my mother took me out. I was devastated, but I was soon put into football. I was way better at that than ballet."
"That's sad. You should have just found a different instructor." The blond said, frowning. Cinnamon shrugged. "Yeah, well… It's too late now."
"It's never too late. I could teach you. My mother made me take four years of it. She said that 'it teaches you grace and elegance'." Draco said, his voice raising in pitch to match his mother's pitch. Cinnamon laughed at that. He smiled.
When she calmed, she said, "That would be great. I'd love to learn. Do you know any other dances?"
"Well, yes. Actually, I do. I know how to do lots of ballroom dances. I remember when I had to teach Harry-" Draco cut himself off, his breath catching. His heart clenched, but he refused to cry again. He was done with crying.
Cinnamon frowned. "Draco? Are you alright?"
"No." He admitted quietly. He wasn't alright. But he wasn't going to cry. She looked at him with her big almond-shaped eyes, sympathy on her face. "You can tell me, Draco." she said gently, setting her hand on his arm softly.
Draco bit his lips softly and was about to tell her when a gentle tap on his shoulder made him turn around. His eyes widened, and he breathed out a shaky "Harry…"
Harry looked at Draco. His eyes were dull and sad, but they also held acceptance, as if he just lost something of great worth and was accepting this. Swallowing, Harry shifted and said softly, "Draco…"
Cinnamon watched her new friend and the man carefully. She noticed how tense Draco suddenly was and how the other man looked defeated. Unsure what to make of this, she waited.
Draco slowly raised his eyes from the around to look back at Harry. He released a shaky breath, "Harry…"
Harry scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Draco watched him silently, masking his silver eyes. Cinnamon suddenly decided to break the silence. "Who are you and what do you want with Draco?"
Blinking, Harry turned to the muggle. He licked his dry lips and said, "Um… I'm Harry Potter."
"Yeah, uh huh. And what do you want exactly with my friend?" she replied, distrustingly. Her eyes glittered and darkened with suspicion. Harry swallowed thickly and started, "I came to talk to him… it's important and private."
"Well, whatever you say to him can be said in front of me, Mister Harry Potter." she spat, her eyes narrowed into slits. She didn't trust this 'Harry' at all.
Draco was to shocked to say anything. This muggle girl was something else.
Harry's jaw clenched in annoyance, but he released a breath to calm himself. He looked to the girl. "Fine." Then he turned to Draco. "Look, Draco…" he trailed off unsure.
The blonde looked at Harry, not ready hear him speak fearing what the man he loved would say. He bit the inside of his cheek to maintain his composure. Harry's emerald eyes flitted around nervously, then he spoke "Draco, look. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't trust you. I'm sorry I made you suffer for nearly a month and a half. I'm sorry I pushed you… I shouldn't have. Draco, I'm really sorry, and I don't hate you no matter what you think."
Draco blinked back tears and bit his trembling lip till he could speak. "Harry… it's not your fault. You don't have anything to be sorry fo-"
"Don't say that. Don't you dare say that! I am at fault here as much as you are." Harry snapped firmly. He wasn't gonna let Draco think it was his fault that Harry left. Sighing, the raven haired wizard gently took Draco's shoulders and said, "I love you, Draco. I'm sorry I let something so stupid get to me. I'm sorry. You can keep your secret, just please… Let me at least be friends with you again. Then, I'll leave you and your girlfriend alone."
Cinnamon blinked. "Girlfriend?"
Draco's gaped slightly. His heart clenched. How could Harry think that Cinnamon was his girlfriend? He wasn't that easy. Was he?
"I am not his girlfriend! We just meet!" Cinnamon said defensively. Draco flinched. Was it that bad to be thought of as her boyfriend? Did she secretly hate him as well?
Harry's jaw dropped. "But aren't you to going to the hotel to…" he blushed, "Erm… you know…"
Draco nearly smirked. That was the Harry he knew. The prudish Harry who didn't like talking about sex. Though he did flirt up a storm with him whenever they were out in public…
Cinnamon cringed. "Eeeeww! I'm not a slut! Plus, he's not my type! I also have a boyfriend."
Harry seemed a bit relieved at this information. Draco noticed this. Maybe Harry didn't hate him…
"Draco… please… Can we be friends once more?" Harry begged, his emeralds pleading. Draco's heart skipped a beat. What should he do? Should he tell him yes? Or…
"No." Draco said emotionlessly. Cinnamon nearly gasped. Harry seemed like he really loved Draco. Was Draco really that harsh, that cruel?
Harry's face fell completely. He looked like the life had been sucked out of his. His emerald eyes dulled and filled with despair and regret. His shoulder's sagged. His body slumped. He seemed to completely loose his will to live.
Then, just as Harry was getting ready to turn away to leave, Draco bit back his smile and said softly, "You can't be my friend… but you could be more…"
Harry snapped back around to face Draco, his emerald eyes full of hope and surprise. The blonde laughed softly and threw his arms around the other wizard's neck. He pull Harry as close to him as possible.
Smiling, Harry breathed his Draco in. He smelled wonderful. He smelled of rain and of vanilla and of a scent that was just completely Draco. He couldn't believe this! Draco was his once more!
Draco kissed Harry's neck softly and pulled back gently, but he still had his arms around the man's neck. He looked to Cinnamon and smiled warmly. Cinnamon looked confused. "What just happened?"
Draco laughed softly. The sound went straight to Harry's heart. He had missed that sound. "It's a long story, Cin. But long story short, Harry and I broke up over something I couldn't tell him, and it pissed him off. So, I told him to leave, and he did. We broke up, and I was suffering. I nearly died. But then he found me and, we got back together."
He smiled softly and then pressed his lips to Harry's in a chaste kiss. It was amazing and beautiful, so full of love and so full of the words that had bee left unsaid. All the unsaid apologize. All the unsaid declarations of love and affections. All of the sorrow both had felt missing the other.
Cinnamon smiled softly. She'd never hated gay people. She found them quite adorable. Especially this pair. She decided that she totally wholeheartedly shipped them.
Breaking apart, the two wizards smiled at each other. Draco then looked at Cinnamon and said, "Thanks. I'm glad I met you. But now we need to go home."
Cinnamon nodded with a small smile. "Alright, but first. Let me give you my address. Then, you can visit me." She took out a sticky note from her purse and wrote on it her address. Then, she gave it to the blonde. Smiling, Draco thanked her again. "No problem, Draco. See you guys later."
She waved her goodbyes and turned to walk home, in the opposite direction. They watched her till they could see her no more. Then, Harry said, "Do you really mean that? Can I really be allowed back home?"
"Home." Draco said with a soft smile. "Harry, don't be silly. Home is wherever you are."
The Savior of the Wizarding World smiled softly, his eyes softening. He gently pulled Draco into his warm embrace and kissed the top of his blonde hair. "I love you, Draco. So much."
Draco buried his head into the raven haired man's neck. "I love you to bits, Harry James Potter. Don't you ever leave me again. Even if I tell you to, just don't."
Laughing softly, Harry smiled. "Alright, Dray. I promise to never leave you again. And I also promise," the man pulled Draco gently out of his embrace and looked him dead in the eyes and continued, "that I won't push or press or bring up your secret again. You'll tell me when you are ready."
Draco smiled, finding tears of overwhelming love and happiness in his eyes. He blinked furiously and wiped at his eyes. "Oh Merlin." he laughed softly, his voice watery as he tried to stop his tears of joy. "Harry, you have made a mess of me."
Harry pecked Draco's lips and said, "I may have made you a mess, but you're a hot mess then."
Draco smacked Harry lightly at the cheesy words. He managed to wipe all the tears away as they laughed softly. Draco then looked at the man he loved and said, "I love you Harry. Let's go home."
"Yes. Let's go home."
Then, Harry took Draco's pale and soft hand in his own. He walked them into the nearest alleyway and apparated them back to their home.
A/N: I'm sorry for not posting in my other stories! Soooooo sorry! I will soon, hopefully… Anyway. Enjoy this. I found this half finished and decided to finish it and post it.