A/N: Happy Saturday friends! Thanks for coming back! I want to give a quick bit of love to everyone who has followed/favorited and/or left a review. I love to see people engaging with the story and picking up on little hints, it's just been such a pleasure. Ya'll have made this experience so amazing for me. So this chapter gets a little sad, but I think we all knew it was coming. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee

Chapter 14

Waking up slowly on a Saturday, surrounded by Blaine and the sheets that smelled like both of them was perhaps Kurt's favorite way to wake up. Well, either that or Blaine, dressed in just boxers, in the kitchen working on pancakes.

"Good morning," Kurt said, voice coming out raspy and sleepy as he propped himself up on his elbows.

Blaine turned, a tad startled but a smile already hovering on his face, like it had been there all morning. "Morning," He said, twisting to grab a cup of coffee, milk and sugar already added just how Kurt liked it and bringing it to him. Kurt took a tentative sip, but of course, perfect Blaine had let it cool to a drinkable temperature before serving it; bless him, the man truly was a saint. Blaine kissed him on the top of the head and moved back to the stove.

"So what are you doing today?" Kurt asked, stepping out of the mountain of blankets to follow Blaine.

"You," Blaine replied cheekily, wiggling an eyebrow.

Kurt felt a laugh bust out of him, "Oh, how very forward of you."

Blaine just nodded, an easy smile on his lips. "Other than that, I was hoping to run to the drug store, pick up a few things and maybe drop in at the house. Try to figure out what's next on the to-do list for that place."

Kurt nodded, sipping his coffee and perching on a stool at the island. "Didn't you mention wanting to work on that second family room at the back of the house?"

"Yeah, but I still don't really know what I want to do with that space yet. I don't want to put any work into it until I'm certain what I'll do with it, ya know?" Blaine set a large stack of blueberry pancakes in front of Kurt and went back to retrieve the syrup from the pantry.

"I get that. Maybe you could just make it a storage room? I mean, that house is huge, I don't really see how else you'll use all that space."

Blaine nodded thoughtfully and grabbed a pad of paper to jot that down on, trying to pin the paper down with his right hand as he wrote with it, his left already occupied with feeding himself. "That's not a bad idea."

They ate in silence for a few minutes, downing pancake after pancake. Kurt found himself ravenous, which, given last night's events, didn't really surprise him.

"Would you like to tag along today?" Blaine asked, head down, intently watching his work of cutting his pancakes with the side of his fork. "I know it's pretty boring stuff, just a bunch of errands but…" he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

Kurt couldn't help his smile. "I'd love to. I do need to go home and grab some fresh clothes though. And shower."

That little fire opened up in Blaine's eyes as he leaned toward Kurt, "Shower here, I'll loan you some clothes."

Kurt licked his lips involuntarily, wondering if Blaine's lips also tasted like maple syrup. "The shower I can agree to. The clothes? Sorry hon, but I'm not rocking the high waters look today, thank you."

Blaine's eyes flattened, leveling Kurt a harmless glare. "Fine, be like that. I see you're only here for my shower then."

"Oh sweetie, that's not true," Kurt cooed through a laugh. "I'm here for your body too."

Kurt swallowed Blaine's responding laugh.

After a long shower and a short trip back to Darla's, Kurt found himself wandering up and down the aisles of Doug's Drugs, hand in hand with Blaine. They spent a cool 10 minutes popping the top on shampoo after shampoo bottle to find the best scent. Blaine bought cinnamon toothpaste and Kurt made a note of it. Kurt bought a card for one of the dance mom's who had just announced that she was expecting her second child.

They bought old fashioned glass bottles of soda up at the register, out of a beautifully refurbished old style cooler. The kind with the bottle opener on the side and everything. They hopped back into Blaine's truck, purchases on the floor board by Kurt's feet as they began their drive over to Blaine's house.

It was silly, Kurt thought, how he'd always been a fervent believer in the powers of air conditioning. But nowadays, he adored the simplicity of rolling down these old windows and letting the hot breeze fix nothing besides just moving the air around. He felt like he had melded with the earth when he breathed in that humid air. So uncomfortable but comforting. The shine on his skin from the ever present heat and the freckles, darker every day, from the sun made him feel young and happy. It made him feel like his favorite version of himself.

"We should take a drive someday. Maybe pack some snacks and just drive. All day. " Kurt said over the whoosh of the open windows. He smiled over at Blaine, feeling his cheeks stretch wide, just so god damn happy. If he could live in this moment forever, he'd never hurt again.

Blaine smiled back and nodded his agreement. He left his left arm draped lazily over the wheel and reached his right hand out to rest on Kurt's thigh. A silent yes.

They pulled the truck to a stop at the curb of the overgrown lawn. Stepping out, Kurt grabbed their bag of goodies, not wanting to leave a tube of toothpaste in a hot car too long. They picked their way up to the front door, Blaine unlocking it smoothly.

Kurt surveyed each room as they passed through, noticing how nice the finished crown molding looked and trying to imagine what kind of furniture Blaine would fill this place with. They meandered their way back through the home, through the counterless kitchen that Kurt had cried on the floor of all those weeks ago and into the second family room.

It lie before them, barren and empty. A little echo reverberating out of every movement, every exhalation. They stared in silence at the imposing vastness.

"It sure would make one hell of a storage room." Blaine muttered finally.

Kurt laughed, a high and bright noise that boomed forward into an echo. "That it would." He agreed, he began walking through the space, trying to fill his mind with visions of interior design. This room held so many possibilities. Drywall was done, floors were the same glorious hardwood found in every other room. It was a blank canvas ready to be transformed into something breathtaking.

Kurt felt his feet itching to move, like they used to before the accident and he gave in. Letting his strides elongate and stretch in a rhythmic way. A small turn here, a little pivot there. Just an improvised dance, something casual to get his creative juices flowing.

He continued to dance, turning again and again, "How about a movie room? But it would be a shame to block out all this natural light in here...hmm, it could be a guest room? No! A guest suite! I know you already have like a thousand rooms upstairs but-oh! It could be a first floor laundry? Or it could be-."

"A dance studio." Blaine said. "It could be a dance studio."

Kurt froze, mid turn, his legs strong and still. He turned just his head to look at Blaine, the feelings on his face not mirroring the feelings in his chest. That bubble of hope. Of that life he'd never lived. "What?"

Blaine, seemingly breaking from a trance and realizing what he'd just said, rubbed the back of his neck nervously. A lovely blush colored his skin as he said, "I just. Seems like it would be a good space for that and you were dancing and it just...I don't know…." The problem was he did know and Kurt knew it.

Kurt looked back over the room with fresh eyes. Eyes of a man who would live here, start a life here. Find love here. He saw mirrors lining the wall on the right and left. Leaving the wall of windows on the back wall so he could dance long into the last rays of the golden day. He pictured bars running the length of the walls, simple and timeless and practical and Mine.

Ours.

Blaine let out an awkward chuckle, "Maybe I could build it for when you come to visit?" But it came out as a question and Kurt really had no idea how serious he was about this. They hadn't really talked about what came after this summer. Kurt couldn't imagine not having Blaine in his life anymore but he knew how all consuming his schedule in New York was.

"Blaine…" Kurt said, turning to face him and taking a few steps to be nearer.

"No, no, it's fine, forget it." Blaine hurried out, embarrassment ripe on his voice.

"No, Blaine, we need to talk about this." Kurt said, wondering where in the fresh hell this confidence was coming from. "I um...man, I don't know how to say this…"

Blaine sat silently, patiently, giving Kurt room to formulate his thoughts.

Kurt took a deep breath. He spoke in a whisper because he couldn't bear to hear the room echo his words back to him. "If I go back to New York-"

"When you go back to New York-"

"Let's save the finality until after my doctor appointment on Monday, okay?" Kurt half joked, half choked out.

Blaine nodded and then gestured for Kurt to continue.

"If I go back to New York, my schedule is going to get crazy. I'm up early every morning, I hardly have my phone on me all day and when I get home, I'm usually too exhausted to do much more than eat, bathe and fall into bed already semi-conscious." They shared a soft, nervous smile, already knowing where this was going. "I don't get a lot of vacation time with this job so road trips would be tough. And as for plane tickets, that shit is expensive." Kurt took a deep, steadying breath. He felt the hot pressure of tears pressing on the back of his eyes. He blinked rapidly in an attempt to keep them in place.

"Blaine," he grabbed his hands in both of his, squeezing tight, "I don't want to do this thing with you half assed. I don't want to do this thing with you unless I can give it my all because that's what you deserve. And honestly? If I'm living in New York? I'm not going to have the time that you deserve and that I would want to give you. My…" he gulped back a sob, "My worst fear is that I end up being a bad boyfriend to you, that I end up hurting you and fuck, I know I already am-"

"Hey, hey," Blaine soothed, "You are not hurting me. This situation sucks and the circumstances aren't my favorite but it isn't you who is hurting me. Don't ever think that."

"Then what are we doing right now if not hurting each other? What is this?" Kurt gestured between them frantically. He knew they shouldn't have taken things to the next level. He never should have kissed Blaine because now he knew just how much he'd be missing in 6 weeks. "Aren't we just taking something we can't ever actually keep?"

"We can't keep it, but we can have it. And that's what we're doing." Blaine said, hands cradling Kurt's face gently, keeping their damp eyes locked. "We are holding perfection for as long as we can before we have to let it go."

Kurt raised a shaky hand and held Blaine's face in return, his thumb rubbing back and forth on his stubble covered cheek. "Blaine…"

"I know Kurt, I know…" Blaine kissed him then, finally, small and perfect and something Kurt instantly knew he wouldn't ever forget. "We get what we get and not a minute more. And I for one, do not want to waste it."

Kurt nodded, feeling braver from those words. They were reminiscent of what Kurt had been thinking that night of Fourth of July. The night everything changed. And he was going to make sure it was for the better.

"Maybe you could like...make this room a shrine for me, ya know? Just to make sure you never forget me."

Blaine laughed, sudden and joyous and gathered Kurt into a crushing hug, lifting him off his feet. "Oh Hummel, like I could ever forget you." And he laughed again, choked and wet.

Later that night, after batting around a few more unsuccessful ideas for the second living space, they lay, tangled in a heap of sweaty limbs, debating between a fine dinner of pizza or chinese take out. Pizza won out, but only because they could get that delivered in half the time and they'd really worked up quite the urgent appetite.

Dressed in pajama pants, balancing plates on their laps, they sat hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder on the couch and it hit Kurt. He could do this for the rest of his life and be utterly content with it. If his days were filled with running errands and bickering over what to have for dinner in a stuffy loft over a garage, he'd be perfectly happy.

All that fear he'd been focusing on his upcoming doctor's appointment melted into something more confusing, more conflicting. Because if the doctor said he wasn't cured or that he shouldn't go back to professional dancing well...that would be devastating and, to be fair, maybe Kurt hadn't really thought through those repercussions because all he could think is Then I could stay.

But there were two issues with this. If he stayed, that would mean he was in pain. It would mean his body had not healed. It would mean that he was the 10% the doctor had been concerned about. The other issue was that he already had a pretty strong inclination that that was not in fact, the case. His legs hadn't bothered him more than a slight inconvenience in a little while now. He'd felt them getting stronger. He'd felt the ache in his lower back begin to subside to the point that he couldn't actually remember the last time it had been debilitating.

If what he felt for Blaine was so strong as to make him consider the pros of living with chronic pain, well then...he didn't know if that was love or just plain crazy. Perhaps it was both.

There was one other option, one that Kurt was a bit afraid to address. It was the option where Kurt could stay here and wasn't in pain. It was the path he could choose, not be forced into by injury or circumstance. It was the ability to give up everything he'd ever worked for, all the money his dad had ever spent on dance classes and recitals and competitions. It was in some ways the easiest option (getting to keep Blaine) and in some ways the hardest option (giving up a life long dream).

And let's say he chose this option. Let's say he gave it all up and moved to Cassville. Where would he live? He loved Darla, but he would want his own privacy if it was a long term thing. And Blaine himself had said there wasn't a lot of real estate available in the area, it was part of the reason he'd bought a decrepit house instead of a livable one. Well that and Blaine was Blaine, handyman extraordinaire, of course he'd buy a project.

Kurt leaned further into Blaine's side, earning him a quick smile and a kiss to his temple and he thought, I am absolutely fucked, no matter what I do.

Perhaps because Sunday was a perfectly lazy day, it passed in the blink of an eye. It felt like Kurt had just been getting out of bed, brewing them coffee when suddenly it was dinner time and Blaine was dragging Kurt over to Darla's so he could cook them burgers and hotdogs on the grill. Darla was thrilled by this. And Kurt enjoyed it too, but it just felt like it was entirely too much time out of bed.

And now, here was Monday, the day of Kurt's doctor appointment. The appointment he'd been dreading for confusing reasons and bad news that was good news and good news that was bad. He was upside down and felt curiously inside out. He taught his classes in a haze, feeling bad for being so distracted. But if the kids noticed, they didn't say anything. He noticed that Carly hugged him a little tighter than normal at the end of his final class and looked at him with worry in her eyes. These kids. So young yet so perceptive.

He shook his head, as if trying to settle his thoughts back into place and refocus as he pulled into the parking lot of his doctor's office. It was an assuming place and didn't look anything like the gleaming clinic he attended in New York.

Kurt had shown up early, too anxious to sit around and wait. But now that he sat, twiddling his thumbs in the too cool waiting room, he wished he had more time. He hoped the doctor was running behind. Or maybe that they'd need to reschedule. He'd drive back to Cassville and go get a tuna melt at the diner with Blaine and he could chat with Ray and see if Thomas the fry cook was still there, see if he couldn't weasel the recipe for his pecan pie out of him. And he could pretend that this wasn't happening. That his fate wouldn't be a mixed bag, no matter what.

But of course, the doctor was running ahead of schedule and Kurt only had a few minutes to day dream before a smiley nurse was calling him back to see Dr. Hill.

Everything else was a fog. It was an X-ray. It was general questions like how's your pain? How is physical therapy going? And Kurt was so tempted to lie and say the pain was terrible and physical therapy was even harder than it had been in the beginning and you know what doctor? Maybe he should just stay here and keep working on his recovery for a little bit longer. 6 months more. Tops.

But he didn't lie because he knew that his X-ray wouldn't back him up. And it didn't. And he understood why Dr. Hill was so happy and he heard things like, congratulations and healed wonderfully and earlier than expected. And Kurt just couldn't understand why he didn't feel how Dr. Hill felt.

"Kurt? Are you doing okay?" Dr. Hill said, a funny little smile on his lips as he looked at Kurt with worried eyes.

"Huh?" Kurt finally said, trying to zero in on what he'd been saying.

Dr. Hill's eyes were soft as he repeated, "I said, aren't you excited?"

The confusion on Kurt's face alone should have been enough but, just in case, Kurt said, "Excited about what?"

"Going home early!" Dr. Hill said with far too much excitement.

Kurt froze, his blood turning to ice. He wondered if the heat outside would thaw him, but he suddenly doubted it. He felt like he might be frozen forever. "Early?" He choked out.

Dr. Hill must have misread Kurt's shock as a good thing because he enthusiastically recounted his conversation with Kurt's doctor back in New York, Dr. Jackson. "I'll send him the X-rays to confirm but I had been receiving such good feedback from your physical therapists that he said if today went well - and it did, Mr. Hummel, it really did - he said that the ballet company would love to have you back sooner rather than later."

This was too much information but all Kurt could think was, "How early? When...when do they want me back?"

"The end of the month!" Dr. Hill crowed, clearly wishing Kurt would start to celebrate too.

"The end of the month…" Kurt echoed, voice devoid of anything akin to excitement. "So...what? Like...three weeks?"

No, no, no, no, they were supposed to have at least six weeks left. Kurt had been told he'd get 12 weeks off minimum. And now, what? 6 weeks and he's cured? Three more weeks to get his shit together and leave. Kurt wasn't a math genius but he knew that six plus three wasn't twelve and he was promised twelve, right?

So strange how what had once felt like a prison sentence now felt like the sweetest promise. And now it was being broken.

Kurt was given paperwork and instructions to call his boss to finalize details and more than a few odd looks as he drifted out of the office. He felt nothing but a dull buzz thrumming through everything. He had three weeks…

Their time had just been halved and six weeks hadn't even been nearly enough to start with and now, now this?

Kurt felt his breath growing ragged as he neared town, the familiar streets blurring behind a wall of unshed tears. How ungrateful of him, to be mad about getting well. There were so many people out there struggling with chronic pain, clawing through day after day of it with no end in sight. And here was Kurt, wishing he'd have just a little more time with his herniated spine so he could bury himself further in a life he'd stolen. A life that wasn't ever his to keep in the first place.

He was ungrateful and shameful and hurting in a new way entirely.

He parked at the diner, immediately seeing Blaine sitting at a booth, awaiting his arrival for their standing lunch date. But he couldn't get his feet to move, his legs to carry him to the man he loved. He stared at that gorgeous man through the windows and noticed the tense set of his shoulders. It dawned on Kurt that Blaine was awaiting the news. He knew Kurt was going to the doctor's today and he too was awaiting the update.

Fuck.

As if he'd said it outloud, Blaine turned, eyes roving the road until they landed on Kurt and his eyes widened. A smile, not quite as easy as it usually was, quirked nervously onto his lips but Kurt just couldn't find one to return.

Nervously, eyes still locked, Blaine stood up and walked outside the diner. Kurt took a deep breath and met him in the middle, on the sidewalk.

"So? How did it go?" Blaine asked, his hands fluttering around like an anxious bird, unsure where to land.

"It um…" Fuck, why did he have to phrase it like that? That was the one thing Kurt couldn't quite figure out: Good? Bad? A bit of both? So he stuck to the facts. "I'm healed." He instantly grimaced at those words. They sounded oddly biblical and a little too dramatic.

Blaine remained still, eyes wide and staring so Kurt continued. "The X-rays look good, I guess. I mean, I don't know but that's what Dr. Hill was saying. I um…" He took another deep breath to keep from crying. Not here, not now, not on this sidewalk in front of a glass walled diner. "I'm cleared to go back to work. In New York." Another deep breath, eyes closed, "In three weeks." Eyes opened.

"Oh," Blaine breathed, the first sound he'd uttered since asking how it went. "Oh," he repeated. And then a massive sigh flowed out of his tiny frame, his entire body deflating and all of the tension melting away, "Kurt, that's amazing!" And Blaine's strong arms were wrapped around Kurt's frame, which he realized suddenly was shaking.

"I'm so proud of you," Blaine muttered into the side of Kurt's neck, sending shivers out in all directions. He pulled back swiftly, keeping Kurt's shoulders in his strong, rough hands. "We should celebrate! Let me take you out to a nice dinner or we could go to the drive in or-"

"Blaine," Kurt interrupted, still shaking. He felt breathless and a little light headed. "Blaine, I'm leaving. In three weeks." He repeated. "I'm leaving."

Blaine's face crumpled a little and he swore he saw tears sparkling at the corners but Blaine's voice came out strong and sure. "But you're healed. You're healthy. You're not in pain anymore."

Of course Blaine would be happy for him. Because he was the kindest person Kurt had ever met. Because, in spite of everything, he would support him like the best friend that he was. Kurt took a shaky inhale in and for the first time today, those words, when wrapped in Blaine's voice actually felt like good news. He gave himself a moment to appreciate them. But still, all he could think was what came out of his mouth. "But I'm leaving."

"I know, baby," Blaine whispered. It was the first time he'd used that endearment outside of the bedroom and it lit something warm and all consuming inside Kurt's chest.

"I'm leaving and that hurts too. I'm still in pain, don't you see? Don't you get it? This hurts just as much. Maybe more, I don't know..." Kurt said, a little desperately.

"Come here," Blaine said quietly and gathered Kurt back into his arms. They stood silently, swaying in the middle of a quiet sidewalk, surrounded by a town that felt like home.

"We have three weeks." Kurt muttered silently.

Blaine squeezed him tighter.

"Don't let go." Kurt breathed. Maybe he was talking to Blaine. Maybe he was talking to himself. He didn't know anymore. He didn't really know anything anymore.

A/N: I really hope I accurately portrayed the inner conflict that Kurt is having. He's not ungrateful that the pain is gone, he's just hurting in other ways right now. And I think a lot of us know how painful, all consuming and sometimes irrational heartbreak can be. What did you guys think? I'd love to hear from ya'll! Have a lovely rest of your weekend and I will see you on Wednesday!