AN: Based off of chapter 11 of "The Alternate Handler", or chapter 19 of "Alternatively".
Clint's alarm blares, and he grumbles incoherently as he rolls over. His nose scrunches and he presses his face to his pillow, resisting the call to wake up. His alarm is a 'gift' from Laura, specifically designed to get louder the longer it goes on. The noise climbs, and he thinks thoughts about Laura's smug insistence that he wouldn't get up otherwise.
She isn't exactly wrong, but that doesn't mean he has to like it.
He grinds his face into the pillow again and tries to remember what day it is. It's a weekday, right? He pries one eye open and squints at the date displayed on the clock face. Wednesday. What was he planning to do today? Does he actually need to get up or—
His eyes widen. Oh, it's Wednesday.
His early morning mood flips as a grin splits his face and he scrambles out of bed, silencing his alarm. He trips almost instantly over the pair of pants he had left out last night, but he barely pauses as he stoops down to toss them into the laundry. He is still smiling as he stumbles over to his dresser and starts pulling out something acceptable to wear. He needs something comfortable and easy to move in, nothing restrictive today.
Because it's Wednesday, and today he will be giving Bucky his first archery lesson.
He has to wait several hours before he can actually get down to the teaching part of the day. He has been waiting for this ever since Steve had first come to them all and asked them to try to help him rehabilitate Bucky.
Back home, Cooper has only just started to be old enough to start any serious learning. At first, Clint hadn't been sure how he would feel about teaching Cooper, given the history of how and why he had learned archery. But Cooper had been so excited, and he had been 'practicing' for ages with a nerf bow and arrow set.
Finally, Clint had looked into finding a child's sized bow, and Cooper's face when he had presented it to him for Christmas last year had been a sight to behold. Clint had made him promise to only use it outside, while he was there for supervision. Cooper had been eager to accept those stipulations, and he had insisted (headless of the snowy weather) on setting up the target board Laura had given him against the barnwall that very day.
The Barton family had spent a cheerful morning bundled up in their winter gear, watching as Clint started to teach the very basics to Cooper. Lila was too young to fire any real arrows, but she amused herself with Cooper's old nerf set, trying to copy Clint's demonstrations and directions. Laura had made them all hot chocolate afterwards, and Cooper had insisted they practice every day until Clint had to go back to the Avengers Tower.
And that is how Clint had discovered that he really liked teaching archery.
It isn't just about teaching a new skill. It is about the connection it brought him and his children. It is about sharing something special and imparting it free from any of the shadows his own training might have had.
He doubts most of the Avengers besides Natasha know much about his history before he joined SHIELD. It had taken him a long time and a lot of work before he had become the Clint Barton he is now. But he had done it, and learning to find a new thrill in archery had been part of that. Before SHIELD, his skills had either been for entertainment, or death. He was good at what he did, but the fulfillment he'd gotten back then is different from what he gets now working with the Avengers.
He imagines Bucky can relate.
Steve had given them a basic outline of what Hydra had done to him. His story is familiar enough, given what he knows Natasha had gone through. And it has some uncomfortable echoes in his own life too.
He had had to learn to see himself beyond his mercenary skills, and he had watched and silently cheered as Natasha had learned to do the same. He can only hope that, in some small way, he can help Bucky along that path too.
oOo
Bucky is tense when he comes into the gym. Clint knew he would be, so he isn't surprised. This isn't the first time he has spent one-on-one time with Bucky. Steve had asked if he could keep an eye on him a while ago, and Clint had had the honour of introducing him to movies. Bucky had been tense and stiff then, and Clint can still remember his eerie assertion when he had asked him what he wanted to do.
The Asset doesn't have wants.
Even Natasha hadn't been quite that far gone. She hadn't seen the point of doing frivolous things if not mission related, but she could do them, and she could even put on a pretty good façade about it if she thought she was supposed to. That had brought with it its own difficulties, but it is a whole other world from Bucky's apparent divorcement from himself as a person at all.
He breathes out and pushes the memory from his mind. There is no point in getting riled up about that now. He is certain Bucky will pick up on his mood right away, and no doubt become even more nervous.
Bucky follows him over to the firing range, and Clint starts off with the same safety talk he had given both Lila and Cooper a few months ago. Back home he had spray painted a white firing line to mark out the range, but here in the gym, the line is built into the floor itself.
"To shoot we will be putting one foot over this line," he explains, demonstrating for Bucky to see. "But when the range is open, it is important to never go any further. When I close the range then we can go across and collect our arrows."
Cooper and Lila had been good about that. No matter how excited they were, they understood that they needed to be careful. From the intense focus on Bucky's face as he talks about bow safety and etiquette, he imagines he will be the same.
Once that is out of the way, Clint leads them over to a rack lining the side of the range. Tony had provided a variety of styles and strengths of bows. While Clint usually likes to stick to his combat ones, he still enjoys himself trying out the longbows and other such 'toys'. (He's tried the crossbow a few times, and man, those things pack a punch.)
Right now they just need a simple bow for Bucky. With his arm strength, he could probably draw any one of these bows, so all Clint needs to know is which hand he wants to start with. He intends to teach him both hands anyways, but he figures asking for their first day won't hurt anything.
"Do you know which hand you'd like to use first?"
The question feels innocuous, but Bucky opens his mouth to answer, and then just...freezes. Clint isn't exactly sure what is happening, or why he has suddenly zoned out, and he flicks his eyes over him with growing concern. Bucky's eyes are glazed and focused elsewhere, his breaths measured and just barely visible as he stands motionless.
Clint swallows, worried that he might have somehow reminded Bucky of a question Hydra used to ask him. He had been hoping to make Bucky's first session with him as stress free as possible, but they haven't even started yet, and already they are having problems.
"Bucky?" he calls, easing half-a-step forward.
Bucky flinches, his chin ducking with alarm as he draws his shoulders up and pulls away from him. His eyes sweep up and pin him with a look of fearful anticipation, and Clint pulls back immediately.
"Hey, it's okay," he says soothingly, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. He takes a step back to try to put Bucky at ease. "Take your time, that's fine." He waits for another second before giving him a small smile, hoping his next question will ease the tension. "What hand do you want to use?"
It is a bit of a gamble asking that, since Bucky had reacted strangely to it, but he knows from Steve that little choices like these aren't something Bucky is used to. If he can show him that it is okay, and that nothing bad will happen, then anything else that happens today will have been a success.
Thankfully the question doesn't send Bucky into further panic. He glances at the bows, and his hands clench anxiously before he flicks his eyes cautiously at him. "...Left."
Clint grins, knowing that the answer must be genuinely from Bucky. "Great," he says. "That just means you'll string your arrow on the other side from me." He picks out a bow for Bucky, before grabbing two standing quivers and leading them back to the firing range.
He keeps the purple fletched arrows for himself and proudly sets the blue ones down in front of Bucky. Natasha had recently gone on her own trip with Bucky, and while she had kept private about most of it, she had mentioned that Bucky had admitted to blue being his favourite colour. Whether or not Bucky cares about the colour on his arrows, Clint feels a sense of satisfaction giving him the blue ones.
Bucky seems to have relaxed since the incident by the bows, and he follows along pretty easily as Clint shows him the basic stance and demonstrates how to draw his bow. "Now you try," he says as he drops out of the stance.
Bucky copies him, putting one foot over the line and drawing his bow, pulling the string back to his cheekbone with two fingers. His eyes are intent and focused on the targets in front of them, but his stance is tense and somewhat awkward. Much like Cooper, when he had first drawn his bow (and excitedly tried to copy Robin Hood and Legolas and other such fantasy archers), his elbow juts out, and his shoulders aren't pulled back enough, keeping him off balance.
Clint chews on the inside of his cheeks as he thinks. With Cooper, it had been easy to fix these rookie mistakes. He had been right there behind him, guiding his hands. If he could do that with Bucky too, then that would be great.
But he remembers that flinch from earlier, and he knows all too well where that had come from.
Still, he decides to try it. It had taken him a long time to understand that gentle touches were safe and desirable. Steve had asked them to help rehabilitate Bucky, and he knows that this will be part of that. He wants to be able to help with that, even if only in a small way.
"Is it okay if I fix something?" he asks softly, putting down his bow before raising his hands to show his intentions. "It's often easier to show than to tell."
He remains completely motionless as he waits for Bucky to respond. Bucky stares at him for a long moment, his breaths nearly invisible as he considers his offer. At last, he nods, slow and cautious, his eyes wary.
Clint has to swallow down the rush of emotions Bucky's hesitant trust evokes. Considering what has been done to him, the fact Bucky is willing to let him near at all is a staggering show of faith.
He approaches slowly, and Bucky remains frozen, barely breathing as he watches him come closer. "I'm just going to touch your shoulders for a moment," he warns, wanting to give Bucky as much control over this situation as he can. He keeps his movements open and choreographed as he nudges Bucky's shoulders into the proper position. His muscles are tight and tense under him, but he straightens quickly, his elbow dropping as his stance becomes more natural.
"There," Clint breathes, stepping back. The whole interaction had only lasted a few seconds, but he can feel Bucky watching him as he picks up his bow again. He had let him touch him, and he hadn't flinched, which is more than Clint had been expecting.
They practice drawing the bow a few times until Bucky instinctively falls into the more natural stance. "Nice," Clint tells him, grinning and rolling his shoulders. "Alright, we can probably grab an arrow now—"
He cuts off and slaps a hand to his forehead, suddenly remembering an important detail he had left out. He had been so excited about the session, and then so focused on keeping Bucky calm, that he hadn't remembered any of the other gear they needed. That had almost happened with Cooper too, because the two of them had been buzzing with anticipation, and it had only been Laura's pointed cough and nod towards Cooper's other present holding a whole host of protective padding that had got him to remember in time.
He grumbles a bit in disbelief at his oversight, before noticing that Bucky is tense and frozen again, most likely completely lost and wary.
Clint resists a wince and offers him a flash of a smile instead. "Okay," he drops his hand, "guess I got a little carried away. We need to put on some protection before we do anything else."
He thinks he sees a flicker of confusion on Bucky's face, but he follows easily enough as Clint gestures for him to set his bow down and head back to the equipment rack. He has a whole bin of various armguards and finger protection, and he shows them to Bucky before beginning to put on his own.
He has years and years of practice when it comes to fastening armguards one-handed, but Bucky has more trouble. Cooper had had the same difficulty with trying to hold the armguard in place while also strapping it on, and Clint reaches forward instinctively.
"Here," he offers, intending to help.
Bucky flinches at the slight movement, remaining completely silent as his shoulders draw up to his ears and he cringes. Clint freezes instantly, his heart dropping as he regards him, wishing he'd waited a few seconds to ask like last time.
Natasha had never flinched like this. She had been too practiced in hiding her feelings and remaining guarded. She had been cold and silent and watchful, too careful and too afraid to flinch. He had used to flinch though. He had been wary of Coulson for months, always halfway on edge and angry, ready to defend himself if necessary. Natasha had been wary and afraid, he had been angry and afraid, and Bucky is...plain afraid. Lost. Confused and afraid.
"It's fine," he says softly, hoping his calm patience will help Bucky relax. "I'm just going to help you, alright?"
Bucky stares at him for a second longer, before giving a shaky nod, his throat flexing. Clint breathes out and lets go of his own memories of recovery. Bucky is still tense and statuesque as he approaches, but he doesn't pull away as he gently straightens and fastens the armguard.
Bucky relaxes as he steps away and Clint catches him giving him a searching gaze as he leads them back over to the range. Clint is pretty sure he knows exactly what that is about, thanks to his own life experiences, so he keeps the mood light as he starts demonstrating the basics of shooting.
"Make sure not to hold the end of the arrow with your fingers," he warns, all-too aware of amateur archer mistakes, thanks to bad action movies. He draws his arrow back and aims at the closest target, about 40 feet away. "Just let it rest gently on top of your bottom finger and you should be able to let go easily."
He hits the bullseye and allows himself a flash of satisfaction, before he turns to Bucky and gestures for him to try. "Your turn."
Bucky's face remains stoic and concentrated as he directs his gaze to his own target. He pulls the bowstring back, his eyes sharpening as an intense sniper focus settles over him. Clint breathes out in awe, seeing for the first time the hyperfocus and skill of the Winter Soldier—and also, perhaps, the sniper Bucky Barnes.
Bucky lets the arrow fly. The bowstring slaps against his armguard, and a second later the arrow lands solidly in the upper righthand corner of the target. It sinks several inches into the foam, a testament to just how much force had been behind the strike.
Clint grins and looks up as Bucky looks over. "Good job," he says, excitement rushing through him. He knew Bucky would be good at this. He thinks he sees a flash of surprise in Bucky's eyes, and he continues. "Hitting the bag on the first try. Pretty impressive."
As he speaks, a line of skepticism forms between Bucky's eyes, and Clint infers that positive reinforcement probably wasn't the usual method of training with Hydra. That doesn't surprise him, but he is determined to counteract that.
He gestures back to the range. "Let's go again."
Bucky nods, and reaches stiltedly for his next arrow. He looks less relaxed than before as he draws back, and Clint decides to focus on his own target, trying to keep from pressuring him as they shoot.
Bucky's next arrow misses the target entirely. That in itself is no surprise. It takes more than one shot to get used to the mechanics of archery, but Clint can practically feel the tension cranking up at the miss.
"That's okay," he announces, keeping his eyes on his target and hoping his casual response will help calm Bucky down. "Just try again, you'll get better as you practice."
Bucky relaxes in slow increments. His eyes retain their intense focus as they keep firing, and he manages to usually hit the target every few arrows. Clint pipes up with a tip or two as they practice, but he mostly keeps quiet. The purpose of this exercise is more to get Bucky comfortable with him, and with a bow. They will work more on his technique as he gets more confident.
He hadn't grabbed any protection for his fingers, so once they start to complain, he decides it is about time for them to call it quits. "Okay," he says, flexing his hand before running it through his sweat-spiked hair, a small part of him envying Bucky's metal, pain-free fingers. "Let's take a break."
He hadn't been expecting the statement to cause waves.
Bucky's hand tightens on the bow, and his shoulders stiffen, something like fear entering his eyes. He practically looks pleading as he speaks. "I am still operational."
The words are a punch to the solar plexus. Clint's skin prickles at the mechanical language, and he freezes. His eyes jump up to Bucky and he can see his throat flex uncertainly as silence descends on them.
Right. Right.
He breathes out.
His 'trainer' had had the same attitude, and he had been too young and too desperate for approval to question it. It had taken Coulson ages to get him to slow down.
Natasha had been like that too. Not the same language, but the same intensity. The same mantra repeated over and over again. The same determination to push and prove herself because for too long her entire worth had centered on refusing to treat herself as a human being.
He can still hear her voice. You don't have to be soft on me. I can keep going.
"I know," he answers both her and Bucky, his words reflecting something Coulson had told him once, years ago. He looks up and meets Bucky's eyes. "But, it's important to take breaks." He rolls his shoulders, feeling the weight of Bucky's gaze. "No one expects you to get good at this in one day."
He finishes with the same argument that had managed to make both him and Natasha back down. "Taking breaks helps your body rest so you can learn next time."
Bucky nods, slow and careful, his brow furled as he takes in this new information. Clint breathes out and makes a mental note to figure out when his next Hydra mission is. He has some retribution to hand out.
oOo
He has another session with Bucky only a day or so later, and he gets him to start practicing with the other arm. It is good practice for him too. He is pretty much ambidextrous when it comes to shooting, but he usually prefers his right side. Switching it up is a nice challenge.
For this session, he specifically procures some water bottles for them as part of his newfound and ongoing mission to educate Bucky on proper, healthy training techniques. It doesn't take long for them to get set up with bows and armguards, and soon the gym is filled with the muffled thumps of arrows flying home.
The whistle of bowstrings is soon interrupted by another sound, and Clint looks back in surprise as a tired looking Steve slips into the gym. His hair is unkempt, and his eyes look shadowed as he waves vaguely at them and heads off towards the line of punching bags on the other side of the room.
He and Bucky watch for a moment as he wraps his hands and begins warming up on the bags, ignoring them completely. Clint leaves him to it, turning back to the range, the sound of Steve's work out echoing around them.
This is not the first time he has come across Steve pounding away at the bags. He is pretty sure every Avenger has stumbled in on him once or twice. It had been more common while Steve had been working undercover (not that Clint had known that at the time), and both he and Natasha had noted the...ferocity of the sessions they had glimpsed.
Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if Steve's relationship with training is just as toxic as Bucky's.
Bucky barely seems to notice the heavy thuds coming from Steve's end of the room, but Clint is distracted. Steve doesn't seem to be pacing himself, and he had looked out of sorts before he had even started.
None of that bodes well, and Clint gives up shooting after another few frustrating minutes. He rolls his shoulders, trying not to let his unhappiness bleed into his voice as he gestures for Bucky to follow him to the benches by the wall. "Let's take a break."
He waves to the water bottles and glances back towards Steve as he grabs his own. Steve's back is angled towards him, and he can see sweat darkening his shirt. He frowns and taps a finger impatiently on his water bottle. He has seen this before, and he isn't sure he can do much. Steve is usually blasé when it comes to him, his stamina, and his serum.
His mouth twists and he hands off the other water bottle to Bucky. He accepts easily, and Clint takes a drink as he flicks his eyes over him, a thought forming. He might not have much of a chance at intervening with Steve but…
He has a pretty good idea of someone who might.
Behind them, Steve's fist hits the bag with a louder than necessary thud, and Clint winces internally for his knuckles. "Oh for Pete's sake," he grumbles, not missing the way Bucky's eyes dart to him. He takes a controlled sip of water and nods his head to where Steve is still pounding away. "I'd step in, but I doubt he'd listen to me."
Bucky stares at him, his eyes flicking back and forth between his face and the water in his hand. Clint can practically feel the gears turning in his head, and he raises an eyebrow at him in what he hopes is a conspiratory look, and not a what-do-you-think-you're-doing look. He honestly doesn't know if Bucky is ready to approach Steve yet, but he can see Bucky thinking it, and he has to hold himself back from nodding encouragingly. This has to be Bucky's decision.
The beating on the punching bag continues, and Bucky's eyes dart over. He takes one stilted step forward, before pausing. His eyes flicker ever so briefly to him, gaging his reaction, and Clint fixes his eyes elsewhere, sipping his water and radiating neutrality.
Bucky must take that as a good sign, because he eases forward another step. Clint tracks him out of the corner of his eye, and soon Bucky is standing stiffly beside Steve and his punching bag, his hand clutched tight around his water bottle.
He doesn't even have to say anything to get Steve to stop. Clint sets down his water and walks over to fiddle aimlessly with his bow, his head bowed as he keeps an unobtrusive eye on the two.
Steve steps back from his latest bout, his breaths laboured and his muscles tense. He startles when he sees Bucky, and that is all it takes to jolt him out of his fixation. His hands drop, his shoulders continuing to heave as he scans Bucky in confusion.
"Do you need something?"
His words drift across the gym, and Bucky looks about as relaxed as a brick wall. He doesn't back down though. Instead, his arm jerks forward, his joints moving like rusty mechanical hinges as he offers his unopened water bottle to Steve.
To be honest, that simple gesture, and Steve's acceptance of it, would have been enough for Clint, but Bucky continues.
"It's important," he starts, his voice hesitant and strained, "to take breaks."
Clint's eyes widen in shock, and his mouth drops open. It takes everything in him not to jerk his head up, and he keeps his eyes on his bow, a grin blooming on his face. He had been hoping Bucky would take his words to heart, but he had never expected to hear them again so soon.
"Yeah," Steve replies while Clint silently rejoices. His voice is choked with surprise, and one glance shows that he had not been expecting any of this either. "You're right."
Clint twirls his bow, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. Looks like archery has a 'two birds with one stone' effect when it comes to helping super soldiers. Of course it does. He wouldn't have expected anything less.
He sets down his bow and makes his way over to the benches again, waiting as Bucky detaches himself and heads back. Clint doesn't even bother trying to hide his proud grin as he offers his own water as a replacement for the one Bucky had shared.
"Good job," he says, feeling immensely satisfied, not only by the success of Bucky's little venture, but also by the sight of Steve's stunned expression as he sinks down onto a bench on the other side of the room.
Bucky's eyes search his at the praise, and he ducks his head. His hair swings forward, and the water might act as good camouflage, but Clint swears he sees the beginnings of a pleased smile on his face as he drinks.
AN: I was excited to write a chapter from Clint's pov! I think this is the first time I've ever written something from his pov. I wanted to do the archery scene, because I always liked the fact that Clint was the one to teach Bucky about taking breaks. It really shows how important the whole Avengers team was to Bucky's recovery.
I have one more guaranteed chapter left (allow I'll probably write more). Chapter 10 isn't finished yet, so don't be surprised if it is late. Hopefully all goes well!