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A/n hello all. Thank you again for your fantastic support of this story. Once again, I am way behind on responding to reviews. I will get to them in the next few days, but until I do, thank you all.

After the Quest

JJ put aside her go-bag and dropped down onto her sofa. She removed her cell phone from her purse and stared at it for several minutes. She wanted desperately to call or text Spence but decided that he didn't need the distraction while he flew back to Las Vegas with his mother.

Diana Reid.

JJ's eyes started to sting as she tried not to think about her initial reaction to Spence's news that he was going home for vacation and that staying behind was a better plan for her.

Relief.

A tear slid down her cheek, and JJ wiped it away. She'd felt – relief that Spence didn't want her to travel with him.

Humiliation washed over her, heating her face and sending more tears dripping from her eyes. She worked with profilers, had learned much about aberrant psychology, and she'd read about paranoid schizophrenia when Spence had told her about his mother. So she understood the meaning of Diana's illness but – damn it!

JJ wiped away more tears and picked up her purse. She went slowly to her bedroom, stripped out of her clothes, and entered the shower. When she stuck her head under the hot water, she began to cry in earnest, for Elle's near death, for Spence's mother, and the decision he'd made at the tender age of eighteen to force her into treatment. She sobbed out her lingering shame over so quickly, agreeing with Spence that she wasn't ready to meet Diana. Spence said no one on the team knew except her, and she hadn't the courage to support him.

JJ dried her hair and then wrapped up in her robe and thought about the brief meeting she'd had with Diana Reid and how she'd provided the missing piece to their puzzle. Finally, JJ found the courage to smile over Diana's revelation about the team as modern-day knights of the round table.

She'd found Diana to be intelligent and strong-willed. So she'd flown to DC despite her fear. Although the FBI hadn't given her a choice, she appeared to deal with it reasonably well. It was a bit weird to have Diana at their conference table, but JJ realized that she fit in, too.

JJ looked at her phone again and then sighed. She went to her cabinet, removed her new stationery box, and took it back to her kitchen table.

Dearest love,

I'm writing this to you while you're on your way back to Vegas with your mother. I've tried to summon the courage to call you or send you a text, but I can't force myself to speak to you or see your words on the screen of my phone.

You said in your note that you're sorry. You don't have reason to apologize. Yes, I was angry that you almost died. Then I think about Rebecca, and I feel selfish for my upset with you. I know you were doing your best to save a life, and I love you for that.

It's my turn to apologize for how I reacted to your suggestion that I do not accompany you to Vegas. I was scared, Spence. Afraid that I'd meet your mother and she'd be something I didn't understand. I was wrong. Your mom is amazing, Spence. I want to know her better and understand her challenges.

I hope you can forgive me for my lack of courage and understanding. I do love you, and that means accepting you and your mother for all that you are.

I also hope that your flight to Vegas was uneventful.

I don't know when you'll read this or if we will talk before you see it, but I wanted to write my feelings before time blunts them and the distractions of life in the FBI push them back in my mind.

With all my heart, I love you, Spence,

JJ

She folded the sheet and sealed it into an envelope. Tomorrow, she'd call Spence and find a way to say what she'd written. If not, she'd leave the letter for him to see and pray they found a way to forgive each other and grow to something better and stronger together.