A/N: It's my birthday, so here's a chapter to celebrate.

Dysrhythmia

The blind lead the blind, so why can't I find my way?
This could be heaven, but I don't know where I am.
I am too scared to come out from behind here;
My body is aching, it feels like it's wearing me.
So let me go out there, I can breathe fresh air.
Stay with you all night;
Just let me love you,
Just for a while, want to,
Be with you all night;
Be with you all night.
Until I fall asleep, until I fall asleep;
Just let me be here,
I won't tell anyone.
Don't want to wake up.
Don't want to wake up.
- Snow Patrol

Aubrey turns the mashed potatoes brought to her over and over again with her spoon while everyone else eats. Just a few meals and you get more money than you could ever dream of. Money that she wouldn't have if Amy hadn't died in the bar bathroom. If Bumper hadn't helped her escape, she would have been dead in there too. Or maybe, just maybe, she could have shot Nikki before she had the chance to stab them. Chloe had still been next to her at that point; she never would have forgiven Aubrey for choosing fight over flight. But the money means nothing when Amy could still be alive if she had just tried to save her. She didn't even try to save her. What a coward…

"Aubrey…"

She looks up when Beca calls her name. Everyone is looking at her.

"Dad asked if you like fishing boats or yachts," Julia says.

Oh. It occurs to her after she forces a smile and nods that it wasn't a yes or no question. No one exactly points out her mistake, but she stills looks down at her food, embarrassed. The conversation carries on without her – and while she tunes in this time, the drugs leave her too tired to actively join them. She doesn't really care about the money right now anyway. They experience their moment of happiness, and she keeps scooping up potatoes to let them fall right back down on her plate.

xxxxx

"Deep breath in."

Aubrey closes her eyes and draws in a breath of air that smells like antiseptic as Preston listens to her lungs. Everyone else went the to experience the fresh air outside.

"And out." He lifts the stethoscope from her back. "Everything sounds good there. Have you eaten dinner?"

Silence is answer enough.

"No worries. No rush. We can take care of that in a minute."

"Thank you." She appreciates the lack of judgment and pressure as he goes about taking her temperature and checking her vitals.

"It is no problem," he says and drapes his stethoscope around his neck, "I will be right back. Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine."

"Have you kept a tally of how many times you've had to say that over the past few weeks?"

Aubrey exhales a quiet laugh. "The world would run out of paper."

"I'll be back," he repeats and leaves the room.

Aubrey takes the opportunity to boot up Chloe's laptop while she's alone and reopens the video files. Being alone, not knowing if everyone is going to return or end up dead in the parking lot, is a lot to process – but, god, it's still nice to have some privacy. She clicks the second file, labeled more letters that she wishes she knew the meaning to: ITIHAC.

"Okay." Chloe plops down on her desk chair and folds her arms. "Either this girl is always busy or she doesn't want to talk to me – which would be ridiculous, so I'm going to assume it's the former. But she barely acknowledges me. I say hello and try to make conversation and she just gives me some weird look and then walks right past me. I see her studying out on the quad a lot though, so I'm going to buy her lunch. I don't know what she likes, but I'll figure something out."

"I remember that day," Aubrey mumbles at the screen, "Alice was such a bitch. She wasn't even in charge yet and she was still bossing us around." Chloe had come running to her door, convinced she was going to take Alice's advice in return for a solo.

"Did I mention how pretty she is?"

Had Aubrey known Chloe was making a video diary and she had her own section in it prior to getting to know her, she probably would have filed for a restraining order. Now... She bunches up the blanket and hugs it, but it's not exactly as comforting as hugging Chloe. She's left with only a screen to fill the void.

"I thought maybe she was just shy, but she totally tore a guy to shreds in front of our whole class today. I mean, he deserved it, but I wasn't expecting that. Maybe she's just quiet unless she has something to say. Maybe I should ask her more questions."

"Are you cold?" Preston asks, returning to the room.

Aubrey releases her grip on the blanket and is about to slam the laptop shut – but then Chloe pulls out her guitar and Aubrey's hand hovers above the screen. "I'm-"

"Fine?" Preston supplies.

Aubrey nods.

"I'll get you another blanket after this." He lowers the back of her bed then adjusts the height of the table so she can still see the laptop. "Cover band?" he asks, more focused on pouring liquid food into a syringe than what she's watching.

"Something like that."

"She's good."

"Yeah," Aubrey agrees, "She is." She smiles tightly through the sadness that washes over her. Chloe is good – and not just at singing. She's good at everything. She's sweet and kind and a good person that the world will miss if she doesn't come back. She closes the laptop when Chloe is done singing and sinks into bed.

"Just relax," Preston responds to the deep breath she takes and the spike in her heart rate.

Aubrey almost laughs at his word choice. If there ever comes a day when she's truly able to feel relaxed, it isn't going to be this one. So, instead, she imagines her usual mental filing cabinet and puts everything she's thinking in there for now.

She tries to distract herself, but there's nothing to look at. The entire room is white and, unlike Seattle, there are no creepy pictures on the wall to hold her attention. The only thing to do is to count the ceiling tiles one by one, again and again, while food is pumped through her body. It's equally comforting and not comforting to know that this is how Chloe is being kept nourished too. Only Chloe isn't taking flak about how she needs to eat. She stuffs that in the filing cabinet too. Is it humiliating to be seen like this? To not be able to just force herself to take a bite of food? Absolutely. But is it also better than dealing with nausea for even just one more second? More than any of them can imagine.

"Almost doooooone," he drags out the word while flushing out the tube, "There."

"Can we take this out for awhile?" Aubrey asks, not because of embarrassment but because it's irritating her throat more than it already has been and makes it difficult to find a comfortable position to sleep.

Preston makes eye contact with her and, for a moment, she thinks he's going to cave. But he shakes his head.

Well isn't that just aca-awesome.

"Don't change the position of your bed for about forty-five minutes. I'll go get that blanket." He nearly crashes into Beca as he opens the door to leave.

"Dude!" She bursts in past him then pauses with one finger in the air to catch her breath. "Not you," she tells Preston when she can speak again, "You can go."

Aubrey isn't sure whether she's supposed to be excited or alarmed.

"We have a problem," Beca announces, "Not like a we have to get out of here right now problem, but still a problem."

The rest of the group appears behind her, much less out of breath, looking equally as puzzled as Aubrey feels.

"Think of the worst reporters you know of," Beca clarifies, "They're in the lobby."

"Is it Fox News?" Conrad guesses.

Beca just keep staring at Aubrey.

It takes her a moment, trying to think of any news crews she hates more than the rest, before it sinks in that they don't have a problem. Beca has a problem. It hurts to laugh as hard as she wants to, so she tries to hold back. "For serious?" Her words come out strained. "John and Gail are in the lobby right now?"

"Why is this funny to you?" Beca asks, "This is bad. This is really bad."

That Aubrey can agree with. They're persistent enough that it is quite a predicament. But… "Let's Talk-Apella doesn't care about me."

"Well, they should. You're the one who got them a following by puking all over a bunch of people." That earns her a smack upside the head from Noah.

While that may be true, they lost interest in Aubrey the very moment Beca took over. It was the one really good thing about Beca's presence at the time. And maybe even Aubrey tuned in to a few of their podcasts for the sole purpose of listening to them stalk Beca all over LA after she graduated. No matter how they found out Beca's location or whatever bullshit they're about to report, this is funny as hell. "Didn't you get a restraining order against them? Chloe said you did a few weeks ago."

"They would only issue it for thirty days to keep them away from the wedding, which I now kind of wish they were at."

"Well then get another one."

Beca drags her hands down her face and groans. "Why me?"

"I wonder that too," Aubrey says, earning herself a glare.

"What is Let's Talk-Apella?" Julia asks.

"They're Beca's stalkers," Aubrey replies then adds in a serious answer before Beca has the chance, "They run an A Capella podcast that no longer covers A Capella, because for some unknown reason they find Beca way more interesting."

"They should call it Let's Stalk-A-Beca. Maybe they think I'm dead and want to do a memorial piece of some shit. One of you can go say a few words about me and then maybe they'll back off." Beca turns to Julia. "You're least likely to say something embarrassing or bad about me."

"I wouldn't say anything embarrassing or bad about you," Conrad claims.

"I've seen you in front of reporters," Beca reminds him.

"And I was very helpful."

"Let's tell security and have them escorted out," Julia suggests.

"I don't want them escorted out. I want to know where they are at all times. They will do anything to get what they want." Beca makes direct eye contact with Aubrey. "Don't even think it, Aubrey."

Aubrey knows immediately what Beca doesn't want her to be thinking about. John and Gail may be a lot negative adjectives, but there is one thing Aubrey's admires about them: their dedication. "We could use them to our advantage. They're going to bother us anyway."

"I said don't think it!"

"We could send them on a wild goose chase," Aubrey suggests then comes up with an even better idea, "We could send them after Jesse. They report on the Trebles too."

"If someone is going to find Jesse, it's not going to be those two idiots."

"They found you, didn't they?"

Beca has nothing to say to that.

"We wouldn't even have to talk to them. Someone could just give them an anonymous tip that Jesse was shot and he might still be alive. Maybe they'll go after him instead."

"Shot? Who shot him?" Brian asks, "If only the three of you were left?"

Oh.

"I did," Beca blurts out.

Aubrey opens her mouth, but no words come out. Why would Beca take the blame for that? She closes her lips and purses them together as she looks down at her cast, trying to decide if this is when she should tell everyone what she did or if she should try to just change the subject.

"He pulled a gun on Aubrey," Beca continues to lie through her teeth, "I knew when he didn't get a direct shot that he was going to shoot her again then go after Chloe next. I had a gun that I found at the bar and I just…" She makes a shooting motion accompanied with sound effects. "Someone had to stop him somehow."

"That was very brave of you, Beca," Julia says even though she's looking at Aubrey, "That must have been traumatizing to have to do that to a person, even if it was in defense."

"Yeah, for lack of better words, it sucked," Beca agrees.

Aubrey refuses to make eye contact with any of them. This would be a really great time for Preston to remember he had promised her a warm blanket.

"But we have a different problem at hand right now," Beca says, "How do we get rid of John and Gail?"

"I say we take a vote," Aubrey suggests, "All in favor of my idea, raise your hand." Noah and Brian lift a hand along with her. "All not in favor?" she asks, hoping someone will forfeit their right to vote. It doesn't happen. Beca, Conrad, and Julia all raise their hands, making it a tie. She hates democracies. "I think only Brian, Beca, and I should get to vote since we're the ones most directly involved."

Julia folds her arms and cocks her head with narrowed eyes. It's a posture that has everyone who can taking a step back, and Aubrey shrinks a little under her disapproving gaze. "I disagree," she says – and that's that then. Her features soften back up, but her arms remain crossed as she informs them, "I'm going to talk to security and see if we can make it so they're not allowed in the building. Does anyone need anything while I'm out?"

They all shakes their heads.

Noah whistles in Aubrey's direction once the door is closed behind her. "That was bold."

There's a knock on the door and Preston walks inside. "Sorry," he says, "I was trying not to interrupt." He hands Aubrey the blanket. "Do you need anything else?"

"Say I had sixty million dollars," Aubrey says, "Could I get a round the clock in home nurse at my own apartment in my condition?"

"For sixty million dollars," Preston answers with a laugh, "You can get anything you want. I'll come move in with you and be your nurse."

Good to know. Even though he thinks she's joking now, she might take him up on that.

Beca smirks as he leaves the room. "Too bad they're waiting for you to get out of hospital to tell you about it."

xxxxx

Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea Aubrey has ever had – to send John and Gail to find Jesse. She'll never say it out loud, but she's kind of glad it was shot down once she has a chance to actually think it through. There's no need to put anyone else at risk and, also, the chance of them finding anyone who isn't Beca is slim to none. Irritating as they are, it's still funny they managed to track her down. She breathes a laugh in the dark and can hear Beca shift on her cot.

"Stop laughing about it."

"Go to sleep, Girls," Julia hums.

Right. Sleep.

She remains awake long after the two of them, twisting the blanket around her fingers, trying not to think. But the harder she thinks about not thinking, the more she thinks. It's around 3am when she presses the button for a nurse. Trying not to wake Beca or Julia, she leans forward and asks the shadow in the doorway if she can go see Chloe. It's a pleasant surprise when, despite the time, the answer is yes.

The room is dark when she gets there and she requests they leave it that way. It isn't any easier not being able to see her, but not being able to see the monitors allows her to try pretending they're not there. Chloe is just sleeping. Aubrey is just doing her normal 3am routine of trying not to think about thinking so she can sleep too. Everything is okay. The realist in her knows it isn't though. She strokes Chloe's arm, her internal voice telling her to accept the truth until she's in a full war with herself about coming to terms with reality happening, and she's feel worse than she did in her own room.

If Chloe was here, she'd tell her that she was capable of going on without her. Because Aubrey can power through just about anything. But it's also Chloe who kept trying to drill it into her that she doesn't have to power through everything. So if she's not powering through it, what is she supposed to be doing? Chloe never told her what the other option is. Trying to figure it out gives her a headache and she ends up using Chloe's arm as a pillow so she can rest and close her eyes. She still smells like herself even though everything else smells like disinfectant, and Aubrey breathes slowly, recommitting her scent to memory with every breath.

"Sworn to secrecy," she fills the silence with the same song from Chloe's video, only from her it's less of a song and more of a hoarse, worn out mumble, "I might go after school. She was an angel; I saw her swimming there. I am in such a mess. I can't cope without this. She just teases me, pretends she can't see me there." That's as much of the lyrics as she can remember. She'll listen to it again when she's in her room alone – put it on repeat until she can repeat it word for word all the way through. She'll listen to every video that way until she can sing every song back to her like a language only the two of them know.

Until then, she falls back on Dolly Parton, murmuring the lyrics to Love Is Like A Butterfly until she falls asleep.

xxxxx

"Hey." It's still dark when Julia rubs her back to wake her. "They want to check your vitals. You need to go back to your room."

Aubrey lifts her head a few inches from the bed and loosens her grip on Chloe's hand without releasing it. She heard what Julia said, but it still takes her a second to fully react. There doesn't seem to be any rush as Julia keeps her hand on Aubrey's back and uses the opportunity to kiss Chloe's forehead, mumbling words that Aubrey can't quite make out. She lets go of her hand once she's awake enough to do so and leans back, placing her elbow on the arm of the wheelchair in order to prop up her head with her hand.

"Did you get any sleep?" Julia asks and wheels her from the room.

"Some," Aubrey answers with a yawn. She wishes she was in the mood for coffee, because there's a lot of things she wants to look into today. "What's your theory?"

"Hm?"

Aubrey cringes as they hit a bump going into the elevator. "Why do you think all this happened?"

"I don't know, Baby."

That's not helpful. "What does Dad think?"

"You would have to ask Dad that. I'm sorry." Julia plants a kiss on the top of her head as the elevator doors close. "Let's give it a rest until normal waking hours of the day, okay? 8 AM, remember?"

Yeah, Aubrey remembers. "Do you think my parents are involved in this?" she asks one last question, "One second I think they aren't, and then I think they might be – and Beca said it was unlikely, but now she's suggesting that it's possible – and…" She doesn't know what to think. About anything.

"I don't think either of you are going at this with a clear head," Julia replies, "I think you would be more productive if you waited until you weren't all over the place, Aubrey. You're gonna end up pushing yourself too hard."

"I'm not doing anything to push myself. I'm sitting in a hospital bed all day."

"I didn't mean physically." Julia wheels her from the elevator, down the empty hallway.

"You didn't answer my question."

Julia parks her outside her room then walks around the chair until she's standing in front. "I don't know. I don't know them to know that. Do you want me to say no?"

Aubrey shakes her head. "I want to know the truth."

"And I am sure you will figure it out. But not right now, Aubrey. Right now, you need to focus on resting and eating and getting better. Just try to give it a rest until you get back home, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

Aubrey holds out her pinky.

xxxxx

"You're a dirty liar," Beca mumbles into her pillow.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Aubrey booted up Chloe's computer the very second the nurse finished up and Julia left to get ready for her interview.

"I heard you in the hallway. You promised to give it a rest."

"No. I promised to try. Did you know that Luke was filing for bankruptcy? I found an article about it."

"I was trying not to think about it. Guess it doesn't matter now. Does it matter?"

"When Chloe and I were in The Cannery, there a bunch of overdue bills sitting on the office desk. Were you and Jesse having financial problems?"

"Not really. I mean, we weren't well off, but we were better than just surviving, you know? What time is it?"

Aubrey glances at the clock in the corner of the screen. "Almost six thirty."

Beca mumbles something inaudible that sounds a lot like a complaint, and then she's getting up and pressing Aubrey up against one of the beds guardrails so she can sit too. It's a tight fit. Beca ends up mostly behind her and rests her chin on Aubrey's shoulder to read.

"I was just thinking what if Jesse knew you were in Amy's will, but he didn't know who else was. Maybe our money wouldn't go to our next of kin. Maybe it would all just be split between whoever was alive to recieve it."

"Where did you go last night?" Beca bypasses her theory completely. "I thought we agreed you wouldn't just sneak off in the middle of the night."

"I went to see John and Gail," Aubrey deadpans, typing whatever she can think of into Google, "We talked about you a lot, actually. All good things."

"That's not funny." Still, Aubrey can feel her smiling against her shoulder.

"I went to see Chloe. Where else would I go?"

"What's that?" Beca points at the screens.

"It looks like the island had a newspaper."

"Well click it."

"You really think someone is there updating it now?"

"Can't hurt to check."

Last updated Mid-September. That was like a week before they arrived for the wedding. "It was worth a shot," Aubrey assures her then clicks the back button out of it again, "What about this one? It says inside view." She's about to click it when Beca grabs her hand.

"Did you look at the link? That's – that's a gore blog. You know what those are, right?"

"How is that possible?" Aubrey slowly lowers her hand to her lap. "The island is being cordoned off. That's why my dad is there."

"It's probably some sicko working the investigation," Beca says, "That's why it's an inside view. And there is nothing on there that you haven't already seen in person. We don't need to look there."

There might be something that they haven't seen. But Aubrey doesn't really feel like looking at that - or at anything anymore at the moment. She turns off the laptop and closes the screen, leaving them both in a pitch black room.

There are really people that go around and take pictures of this sort of thing for pleasure, and there are people who visit those websites to look for the exact same reason.

"We're not even supposed to be awake right now," Beca reminds her, "If your mom catches us, she'll ground us or take away our toys or something, and I really like our rubber duck."

It's supposed to be funny, but Aubrey doesn't laugh. The things they saw – anyone could click that link and see them too. It's an invasion of privacy.

"Hey, come on, it could also be a hoax," Beca says, "It could just be a computer virus. And that's what anyone who clicks that link deserves. We might even be able to get it taken down."

Chloe's so lucky. She didn't see half the things Aubrey or Beca did. Aubrey did her best to make sure of that. She turns to lean sideways against the back of the bed with both of her legs draped over Beca's lap. It's so uncomfortable. But it's not any better to be lying there alone and it's nothing pain medication is going to solve. There are just too many wires and tubes hooked up to her, underneath her cast is unbearably itchy, and she doesn't understand how a bed made specifically for injured and ill people can be so hard. She had been so close to being able to sleep in a comfortable bed every night.

"Do you need anything?" Beca asks.

Aubrey lets a sigh be her answer. "You?"

Beca sighs too. "Maybe your mom was right out there. Maybe we should wait until we get out of here to keep looking for whatever we're looking for. I don't know if I'm ready to accidentally see those kinds of things. Let's just watch TV or something."

"Do you want to watch YouTube videos of fighter pilots ejecting themselves?"

"Uh, yes," Beca answers with far more enthusiasm than Aubrey expected. Chloe usually finds her video preferences simultaneously boring and somewhat distressing. But then again, that's also how Aubrey feels about Chloe's videos of fat cats stuffing themselves into tiny spaces.

While waiting for the computer to turn back on, Aubrey takes the opportunity to buzz the nurse for another warm blanket and, after some deliberation, something to help her sleep. Sleeping pills, unfortunately, also mean drinking some water – which doesn't end quite as badly as she expected it to. If there are any repercussions, she doesn't have the chance to feel them. She barely makes it through the third pilot ejecting before she her mind begins to numb.

"Beca?" she murmurs before she fully succumbs to sleep.

"What's up?"

"Why did you say you shot Jesse?"

The length of time Beca remains quiet makes her think she isn't going to answer, then she shrugs. "Because I don't think you should be the only one who has to carry it."