AND SO HE SAYS, "EVIL'S OKAY IN MY BOOK, WHAT ABOUT YOURS?!" AND I GO "YEAH, BABY, YEAH! YEAH!" - just a part-time electrician

Hunger

The strollers and layabouts in the park had been having an otherwise peaceful day: relaxing, napping, enjoying the clear blue sky and the warmth of the sunshine. Some young couples lay hidden among the shrubbery, quietly embracing each other in celebration of their bond. A few halves of those couples may or may not have been Sekirei, trying to stay under the radar of both MBI and the Big Four who controlled the city. They simply wanted a peaceful afternoon, unsullied by fighting, blood, or egotistical bloviating.

And the stooge with the microphone wasn't helping.

"YOU ALL BOUGHT IT!" Kagedansu yelled, pivoting and pointing to each one of his flabbergasted marks. "YOU ALL BOUGHT IT, HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER! YOU ALL BOUGHT IT!"

Minato… What could he do? What could he say? Everything in his world had just been upended and thrown down like a child emptying a box of toys onto the floor: no order, no pattern, no logic to the mess, just a random clutter of anarchy, splayed across the perpetrator's feet as only he could discern.

"EVEN MY FAMILY!" boomed Kagedansu, pointing at Minato and his half-broken harem (and Ku). "EVEN MY ADOPTIVE FAMILY BOUGHT IT!

The Ashikabi was desperate for something, anything to reestablish the laws of the world. He looked to Seo. After all, the only thing to upend Seo had been losing a payday to a runaway a cat.

"EVERY DAMN ONE OF YOU, WERE MADE, FOOLS OF!"

Seo was dumbstruck, as was his Sekirei, Hibiki. And… Wait, they beat Kagedansu before! The Lightning Twins nearly punched his number when they first met! How?! Why?!

Could-?! Maybe-?! Mikogami! Surely that rich kid wouldn't care or even be surprised that an enemy Sekirei had pulled this kind of stunt.

"BUT YOU KNOW, I REALLY DIDN'T WANNA HAVE TO DO IT," Kagedansu continued. "AUSTIN MADE ME!"

No! Even he was caught off-guard! Hayato Mikogami, the Ashikabi of the South, his expression a one-to-one xerox copy of his counterpart's from the North! Even he couldn't believe this?

"STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN MADE ME FOOL YOU! HE COMPELLED ME, BECAUSE AUSTIN..."

Kagedansu's gaze was back on Minato, who had no refuge from the horror show his life had crashed into.

"I HAD TO TEACH YOU A LESSON THAT YOU WOULD NEVER, EVER FORGET!"

Those eyes… They were the same eyes Kagedansu had when he'd slugged Minato in the gut, given him a rant about the cutthroats of the world: stern, snarling, like a drill instructor mixed with a bear.

"AND NOW, AUSTIN? NOW YOU KNOW: THERE IS NO PRICE, I WILL NOT PAY… THERE IS NO DEPTH, I WILL NOT STOOP… TO MAKE YOUR LIFE, HERE ON EARTH, AUSTIN, A TOTAL, COMPLETE, LIVING, HHELLLL."

The unmasked Shadow Sekirei then turned his attention to Mikogami, not that Minato was in any state to hear what he had to say next. Nor was Ku, for her little heart had shattered into a million pieces by Kagedansu's horrible trick.

Tsukiumi wasn't fairing much better, seeing the child she'd helped rear transformed into a psychopathic monster. After all, this was the same individual who'd buried her in rubble, who put Homura in the hospital, who'd mutilated himself just to deceive them.

Only Musubi seemed to take it all on the chin. Stoic in the face of madness, quite literally, her powerful hands took Minato and Tsukiumi by the shoulders, stepping forward so Ku could lean against her legs. In truth, hers was a balancing act: on the one hand, the emergence of a strong new opponent and the full realization of his ability, but on the other, the same. She clung to that excitement, the start of a smile struggling to manifest.

"AND YOU," Kagedansu blasted, pointing at the befuddled Ashikabi of the South as he moved among the captives from Mikogami's flock. "YOU THINK I WAS JUST GOING TO LET YOU OFF?! YOU THINK I'D FORGET ABOUT THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU PULLED THAT NIGHT IN THE PARK?! THINK I'D FORGET ABOUT YOUR LITTLE 'COLLECTION'?!"

"None of Master's Sekirei were winged unwillingly," Akitsu murmured, her expression as mute as ever.

"WELL, I DIDN'T! AND NOW..." Hametsu jerked a thumb towards himself. "NOW I SHOWED YOU, WITH ALL THAT MONEY YOU HAVE, YOU SCRIMPED AND YOU SAVED, AND YOU STILL COULDN'T AFFORD WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!"

Mikogami's eyes grew so wide that one could almost hear the tinkle of glass cracking, for that's what his ego was made of.

"YOU'RE STILL THAT LITTLE KID YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR, WITH THE SCRAWNY LIMBS AND THE EVEN SCRAWNIER-"

"Shut up!" Mikogami shouted, Mutsu holding him back while Juusa and Akitsu hugged his sides. "That is not-"

"'FAIR'? I KNOW!"

The rich upstart looked ready to blow a gasket at that.

"YOU HAVE TO FACE THE FACTS, THAT you were born, with inferior DNA."

If Minato had been aware of the gesture to him, he might've taken it as a compliment. Tsukiumi was, and it made her want to vomit. The fact Kagedansu had toned down the volume only made it worse, like his words were a scientific lecture instead of a retrofitted wrestling promo from the world's craziest boss.

"And you say, 'It's not fair that I was born with inferior DNA! It's not fair!' Well, life… is not fair, and you might as well go ahead and admit it-"

"Shut up!" Mikogami was nearly foaming at the mouth. He looked like an animal, thrashing and pulling at the grip of his remaining Sekirei. "Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!"

Kagedansu shook his head. "Nah. You might as well own up to your own philosophy, the philosophy that life SUCKS… AND THEN YOU DIIIIE."

That settled it: Kagedansu wasn't just doing this for altruism or whatever he'd told himself to let him sleep at night. He wasn't just enjoying this, he'd been looking forward to it. He'd been looking forward to it for a very, very long time, possibly before he'd even met the people he'd victimized, Sekirei and human alike.

While Mikogami reeled from that one-two punch to his self-esteem, it was Sanada's turn, the Ashikabi of the West looking less surprised than the others, but surprised nonetheless.

"AND AS FOR YOU..." Here, Kagedansu paused. The clenching of his high-held fist spoke of a search for the right words. "SANADA, SEO, I'M GONNA BE HONEST: I DON'T HATE YOU. IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN DISLIKE YOU."

Now Kagedansu's attention was split, his gaze sweeping over everyone to whom he spoke: Sanada, Mikogami, Minato, even Uzume.

Wait, when did Uzume-

"BUT IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD," he declared, thumping his chest with his fist, "DOES NOT TOLERATE, IT'SSS..."

A tranquil, somewhat sardonic expression he now had, complete with South English accent.

"Monty Python's Flying Circus."

His fingers flew to his lips for a makeshift kazoo, blowing the theme to the show.

That one, solitary, out-of-nowhere joke that Minato knew Kagedansu knew he'd get… There was no coming back from this. This wasn't just a chance encounter that left one of his Sekirei crumpled in his arms. This wasn't some nightmarish hallucination. This… From the robes, to the unseen but no less set-up sound system that blasted Kagedansu's words for all to hear...

And Kusano took the words right out of Minato's mouth: a hushed, teary-eyed, "You're not… You can't… No!"

"You sure about that, Ku?" replied The Shadow Sekirei. "Who was the fourth part of that fight between Uzume, Homura, and Tsukiumi? Whose leg were you sleeping on when you had that nightmare about Hametsu coming to the Inn?"

He took a step forward. "Who knew better than anyone on how to beat back Hametsu?"

Then another. "Who was in the one good dream you had before Hametsu showed up?"

Then another. He was a few paces away from the edge of the crowd. "Who listens to the same music that Big Brother and Kazehana heard in their nightmare?"

Then another. "And who do you think was sitting next to Izanagi, right outside the Botanical Gardens, the night you started having those nightmares?"

Kusano shook her head, droplets of water flying from her cheeks and reddened eyes.

Kagedansu stopped, safely behind the oblivious Homura. "I know you're young, Ku, so I'll put this as plainly as I can."

His eyes closed, almost like he was taking a nap on his feet. Akitsu considered attacking him, knowing it would make Mikogami and Minato happy to see him fall. However, as the intent to use her power began to manifest, his eyes opened. There was something decidedly off about them. The angle of the sun cast shadows upon Kagedansu's eyes, which now seemed to glow, going from a light gold to an almost neon yellow. Yet, no ambiance was cast around them. It was unsettling, seeing this light that wasn't light but more an illustration over reality.

Then, with three simple words, he delivered the final gut-punch.

"I… am Hametsu."

With his confession now out, Kagedansu dropped the voice. "There, I said it." He looked at the oblivious Homura. "Ain't it funny? Putting on a mask changes how you look. Taking off a mask changes how you look, too."

In Sanada's arms, Shijime scratched her white hair. "You're wearing a mask?"

The Shadow Sekirei pulled on his cheek, then his nose, and quickly skipped back to his hostages. "This ain't latex, kid, it's skin. Skin, bone, cartilage, all that stuff. No rubber over this face."

It was then that a new voice joined the mourners. "...What about us?"

All eyes turned to the newcomer, along with her silent, tearful partner. Said partner was unknown to most of the gathered parties, but the Sekirei? Stacked rack, long brown hair, white criss crossed bikini, matching white skirt, and long tendrils of white cloth? There was no mistaking her.

Uzume's eyes pleaded as she stepped forward. "What about me? What about… the things we said? The things we did?"

Kagedansu blankly stared at her. "Which happens, people saying things they don't mean. No need to be a pussy about it."

Those of the North could practically hear the sound of Uzume's heart shattering. "F-fuck…"

Kagedansu waved her off. "No thanks, I'm good. And speaking of making good…"

Reaching into his robes, Kagedansu produced the stolen Jinki, #8. He held it aloft, like the torch in the Statue of Liberty. "Okay, Minaka!" he shouted. "I got it, just like I said I would! You want it?"

The Jinki dropped back into his robes. "Come and get it."

Just like that. All of this, for that. No one there could fully understand the angle, how Kagedansu was supposed to profit from all of this. So…

"...Why?" Minato croaked.

"You're a smart kid, Austin," Kagedansu replied. "You figure it out. In fact-!"

He rounded on all of the gathered attendees. "First Ashikabi to figure it out, I'll let go a Sekirei of their choice! Consider..."

He gestured to No. 5, Mustu, as well as The Discarded Number. "Why aren't they surprised by all this? Those who already know the answer, don't spoil the lesson."

"B-" Minato's mind began to restructure itself, slowly putting the exploded pieces back together. A test. A problem. He was good at those. Yes. This is just what he needed right now: a challenge to complete.

"Because he had access to the same records Matsu found?" Minato offered.

Kagedansu shrugged. "Eh, maybe. But that wouldn't explain why he's not surprised that I went this far."

Minato wracked his brain, but it was Musubi, of all people, who mournfully beat him to the punch.

"Because we're competition," she said, defeated.

Everything snapped into focus for Minato. Even now, he was already piecing things together.

"That's why he helped us with Higa," said Minato, his voice hushed, his words so hurried they might overtake his brain. "We took out most of his Sekirei during the rescue, and the defense of the Inn, and got away with it because Higa was breaking the rules by using Uzume. Even when he escaped, only a few Sekirei chased him, knowing Higa knew about our plan. Then, after Kazehana's sexual urges boiled over, she took me off for a date and made sure none of my Sekirei could use their norito when he stole the Jinki."

"More than that," Kagedansu interrupted. "Your Sekirei were put in a bad mood by your, ahum, 'betrayal'." He framed the word with air quotes, still holding that microphone but no longer speaking into it. "They wouldn't be themselves. They'd be in an unfamiliar kind of mindset that… Well, that would mean they wouldn't notice when I started tampering."

He walked up to Taki, a sleepwalker by the dull-eyed expression she wore, and laid a hand on her head. "I can't create thoughts, Austin. I can create images, sounds, but not thoughts. I can't create emotions, either, only boost the ones that are there. Those brain chemicals are a pretty specific mix: get the proportions wrong and you end up with the wrong feeling. So, I need to create them in other ways."

"Then, all of this," said Minato, anguished as he spread his arms wide, "my training, the dates, the wrestling, just a way to get at my Sekirei?"

"Eh, not quite," said Kagedansu. He began pacing, as the full machinations of his Sekirei brain came into very clear, very frightening focus.

"Honestly, that wasn't my first plan, which was just to get Matsu out long enough to swipe the Jinki. Almost did, too, if Higa hadn't given her that file."

He smiled, like he'd just lost a friendly game of baseball. "Gotta wonder who let him get to it, eh? Then I remembered: you'd still be a contender. That's when I hit on the idea to man you up, get you so full of boneheaded ideas that you wouldn't even think about them, because you'd be too busy thinking with the wrong head. See, I knew it wouldn't work the way you were; no way would you be able to stand your ground and tell 'em, 'No, we're doing it like this, got it?' But I wasn't really sure on how I'd get them to buy it. That is..."

He waggled a hand in the air. "Until I heard… Sorry, eavesdropped on Kazehana mentioning how she once killed people. Now that got me thinking: what kind of baggage is she carrying? I mean, I had that rave that I convinced Minaka to put together, but that was only to find out if Karasuba had limits, numerically speaking."

"'IF'?!" Minato picked up a nearby rock and tossed it straight at Kagedansu, who sidestepped it with ease.

"But then I thought, 'Eh, let's see if I can multitask'. Once I ran you guys through that nightmare and she made with the tears and the crying and stuff, that got me thinking about how much she probably believed in Minaka in the time between killing all those soldiers and having her heart broken."

His finger shot up. "And that got me thinking how I might get the rest of 'em to agree with her if she got that idea about you."

He walked over to Matsu. "Issues with your ego, the fact I had to literally tell you I was behind everything before you stopped believing in me..."

Then Homura. "Body identity crisis, caused 100% by you, and only putting up with it because he thought you were a decent guy..."

He looked over at Akitsu. "Then some outsider arrives. Not only does she rattle her old friends by leaving, she rattles her new friends when she goes back to her old ones. All of 'em wonder what she's seeing that they're not."

He gestured to his captives from Mikogami's flock. "To the old guard, she's the most loyal one of them, suddenly up and leaving a master she's been more devoted to than any of them. At some point, each of them doubts their master, and that's where I come in."

Kagedansu then swept a hand towards his plunder from Minato's household. "To the new guard, she's an outside opinion, and a more objective one, because she's only seeing the in-hot-water Ashikabi as a human and a potential winging. No bias in what she sees in you, just cold… Heh. Cold, hard logic."

He glanced at Kazehana. "So they all wonder if maybe their feelings stop them from seeing some fatal flaw in their lover-boy."

Finally, it was Sanada's turn. "Yours I didn't have to do anything much, just cause a ruckus in your area a few times, knowing that, like you pretty much said yourself, you'd never in a million years send them after me. They reeeally didn't like that. For them, they're living out a fantasy, getting to walk around in the city and get into it with other Sekirei. It was so easy, I pretty much ignored you until it was show time."

Minato sighed and chewed his lip, his gaze having fallen to the ground. "And the whole time… you knew no single Sekirei, not a double-digit number, could win against any of us."

"That's right," Kagedansu replied with a nod. He spread his arms wide, sweeping them at all those gathered here. "But the Big Four tearing each other apart in a big ol' mosh, plus themselves? Now that just might work."

"'The aversion of loss does not equal gain'," Minato quoted, another memory tainted by his sensei's betrayal. He was so burned-out on emotion he could barely feel anything anymore. "So you never actually answered my question. Why go through all of this? What is this supposed to get you?"

Kagedansu sighed and shook his head. "Why do I always hold out hope…"

He reached into his robes and produced… A coffee creamer. That was one more fondness, now forever tainted: the legendary "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Tsukiumi's brow rose from its sorrowful shape, just for a moment. "Where didst thou…?"

"I told you," Kagedansu called to her. "This is a lesson."

Tsukiumi's hand tensed at her side.

Holding in his open hand, Kagedansu slowly lifted it up, high above his head. Before his arm could fully extend, he plucked it up with his other hand and placed it atop his own head.

"The cream rises to the top," quoted the North Ashikabi. "I still don't get it."

"You're not looking at the big picture," Kagedansu replied. He reached into his robes, and produced his Jinki, the fairly-won as well as the stolen. "Every single contender with a Jinki is here, save for Higa and the Discipline Squad. Higa's small beans now, thanks to us saving Uzume-"

He glanced at the girl in question. "You're welcome, by the way."

She scornfully flipped him off as he resumed. "-and with all these Sekirei breaking the rules, attacking Jinki holders, ganging up on the big dogs, why, it's almost like The Discipline Squad has a rep so no one ever teams up against them. YOU HEAR THAT, MINAKA?!"

Kagedansu's head was thrown back, pointing at the sky with the microphone once again at his lips. "I FIGURED YOUR HUSTLE! SO WHAT'CHA GONNA DO, WHEN SEKIREI-O-MANIA, RUNS WILD ON YOU, BROTHER?!"

His hand disappeared briefly as he slipped the Jinki back into his robes.

"This…" The wheels in Minato's burned-out brain groaned and screeched back to life. "This was just… to get the Discipline… No…"

He pointed at the gathered groups. "After The Discipline Squad is taken care of, we all kill each other."

Tsukiumi scowled, though a tear slipped out from her eye. "So that, vulture as thou art, thou mayst peck at our remains."

Kagedansu shrugged and nodded. "Ideally, yeah. If there's no more competition, nobody else who has a Jinki, then the last one alive gets… The Prize."

He closed his eyes then said, "And that's something any Sekirei will tell you is worth any price."

"YOU PUT YOUR ASHIKABI INTO A COMA!" Uzume screamed, shocking everyone there, most of all Chiho and Minato.

Kagedansu looked her dead in her chocolate-brown eyes. "Any price. Izanagi was a good kid, but that's the problem. He would've put the finger on me and blurted out the whole plan if I hadn't taken care of him."

"He also made a good emotional shield," Minato remarked evenly. "He made sure no one would question you if you started acting funny. We all thought it was just you dealing with the stress."

Kagedansu's eyebrows raised. "'We', Austin? The fact it worked so well on you, the two-birds deal I got on him was pretty good, I'd say."

"IZANAGI WAS NOT A 'DEAL', THOU… THOU-!" Tsukiumi had been slowly boiling, keeping her temper in check lest she touch off the powder keg that Kagedansu sat upon. By now, she was so overcome with teeth-clenching rage that she couldn't even think of a proper barb. What did one call a Sekirei who felled their own Ashikabi, their entire reason for fighting, in order to win Minaka's game?

Nevertheless, she continued, her indecision compressing her fury into a ball of ice. "Were it not for Izanagi… A chance encounter with him..."

Her gaze fell to the ground. "I would never have married my husband. A misguided harpy of contempt, until a fateful word with thine Ashikabi." That marble-sized ball now swirled to life in her hand, her waters gathering into serpentine forms. "So, for both men, I shall end thy wretched existence."

Kagedansu blinked. "Riiight..."

A hand wove its fingers among Tsukiumi's, gently squeezing her palm. It tugged slightly, pulling at her to come away from Kagedansu's Sekirei schiltrom. Tsukiumi nearly snarled as she looked at her husband, teary and red-eyed but reassembling his stoicism, for a small shake of his head made the message clear:

Not yet

"So I figured it out, more or less," Minato croaked, his eyes sweeping his captive girls. They stood at attention, eyes resolutely blank like doped-up soldiers. "Now let Matsu go."

Tsukiumi frowned. "Matsu?" Both her husband's choice, and how Musubi had his other hand in his.

"I will," Kagedansu replied, "once they finish fighting."

"What?!" Minato was furious. "You said-"

"AUSTIN, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRUSTING ANYTHING I SAY?!" Kagedansu roared. "I've played you for a sap longer than you even wanna know. If a guy was standing here with a knife he plunged into your back, would you still trust him to do right by you?! I just- Rrrgh!"

Kagedansu stormed around his troops, snarling and stomping the anger out of himself. When he was done, having left a circle of footprints in the grassy terrain, he turned back to Minato. "I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want it to come to this. I hate-… You think I wanted it to be like this? Wanted you to be like this?"

Minato scowled, teary-eyed. "You just told me not to trust you."

"Good, you're finally catching on." Kagedansu heaved a weary sigh and held up the microphone. "I was waiting for you, Austin, waiting for you to come to your senses. Waiting for you to wake up and say-"

He pointed to his right. "'Hold on, these ideas are kinda boneheaded and I should probably simmer down before I do something I regret.' Or, 'Wait, that guy did wrong by me. Maybe he doesn't have my best interests at heart. I should listen to my Sekirei and whoop his sorry ass!' BUT YOU DIDN'T!"

The Dream Sekirei returned to fury, with a sprinkle of heartbreak baked into the creases of his face. "You wanna know why your girls left you, Austin? Because you sided with a two-faced double-crosser instead of them!" He pointed to said girls (and Homura). "That's why they left you! That's why they jumped ship: they couldn't stand where you were going!"

Now he was pointing at Minato. "And I didn't make you do any of that. Every bad call you made, every wrong turn you took, that's on you, not me. I put out the bait, but you decided to jump on it. And look where it brought us." He swept a hand around them. "Now I'm gonna win, in the dirtiest, most underhanded, back-stabbing, scumball way possible, all because no one was smart enough to see through the con. First the Discipline Squad, then the rest. Makes me sick, knowing I thought so highly of people so stupid."

There. Right at that moment. The way Kagedansu said that word, the way his face wrinkled up like a goblin, the way his eyes shot daggers at the ground in pure, abject disgust. Right then, right there, any remaining doubt in Minato's mind was obliterated. The mask was off. He saw the real Kagedansu in that moment, and it made him sick.

So loathe as he was to admit it, staring at his Sekirei that were still enthralled by Kagedansu's mind power, Minato had to admit he might be correct. Hell, he might even be correct about this benefiting him. If Kagedansu took out the Discipline Squad, that left Minato in just as good a position as the other contenders, if not better. Maybe they should let his plan play out one last time. Maybe-

"What is it, Musubi?"

The brunette leaned in and placed her forehead on Minato's temple. In as steady a voice as she could muster, she whispered, "I-I have to keep my promise."

Minato didn't know what she was talking about, until it clicked in his memory.

Her promise to Karasuba.

The Ashikabi was at a crossroads. On the one hand, this might be the only time that Kagedansu's Grand Scheme might play out in his favor, but on the other… No. Not again.

Minato gave Musubi a quick peck on the lips, just enough to light her pink wings. Chiho gently pulled Uzume down for a kiss, her white wings crossing with Musubi's. The other Ashikabi followed suit as Minato did the same to Tsukiumi, who didn't even close her eyes. Neither of them could enjoy this.

Kagedansu glared at them, his yellow eyes tracking the emergence of wings from his gathered adversaries. "Don't be stupid."

Minato inhaled, hoped his Sekirei would take the hint from earlier, steeled himself, and shouted, "NOW!"

Author's note:

To my beta readers: I would like to thank SilverSoulXIII and Earth Dragon Arnighte for their conflicting opinions about elements of this chapter. Such diversity of opinion is always refreshing to see.

To the general readership: So, you all that pro wrestling stuff that was inserted into Minato's character arc? All that stuff about being a real man, hunger, Kagedansu calling him "Austin", Slim Jims, and everything else? I did all of that, starting as far back as Chapter 56, JUST so I could do this "Higher Power Revealed" reenactment. Seriously, the desire to put Vinnie Mac's monologue in the story came first, and everything else was written to give it context.

Never underestimate the lengths I will go to make a reference fit.

To fellow writers: if you plan on writing a story, scene, or speech, especially one with an OC, it really helps to try and act it out. Reason I bring it up is because one of my finest moments completely changed this chapter. See, while I was hashing this out, just after midnight on July 27, 2018 (yes, that is how far back I was working on this), I got really into the aforementioned reference and kept going with it. I took from Vince McMahon's history with the NWA buy-up, as well as his merciless post-mortem rampage over WCW's homeless talent for the "doesn't tolerate competition" line. But when I got up to act it out, after a few times around it struck me that Vince/Kagedansu's slurred pronunciation of "it'sss"…

...was also the beginning of Monty Python's iconic intro.

After struggling mightily, I went with the line for two reasons. First, my serious chapters sometimes get too serious and are no fun to write anymore (Second Match of Stage Three, anyone?); I had myself bursting out laughing with the swerve. Second reason: I hit upon a notion. Rather than have my OC simply explain his dastardly plan to the heroes, as is the cliché for villains, I tapped into his mentor role, also as a way of preserving his personality. After all, he may be a diabolical mastermind who has nearly engineered an abrupt end to the entire Sekirei Plan, but he's still a fanboy.

And THEN, around 1 AM on November 12 of 2019, while acting through the scene again, I conjured up pretty much the whole "It breaks my heart that you still trust me" speech off the cuff, before rushing to the computer to write it down before I forgot all the juicy bits. Even then, I'm pretty sure there's lines and moments I performed that were sadly forgotten in my post-midnight haze. SO!

TL;DR: If you ever get stuck while writing a scene or story, try playing pretend for a spell. You might be surprised where it takes you.