*A/N Thank you so much to all my readers and especially my reviewers! Your comments make my day and I love hearing all of you predictions and thoughts! You keep me pushing! xoxo *

Chapter 32.

At around 2:30am Bella began to squirm in my arms and I could feel that she was starting to dream. I hadn't went into my 'rest' state, due to the extra threat of Edward's disappearance, so it was a welcome distraction from my endless stream of worry. I pulled my arm off of her and eased off the bed to give her some space. Then I slid my hand under her pillow and grabbed her journal and a pen from her nightstand.

"Uh, yeah . . . I have to go to the bathroom" She mumbled, I chuckled. She tossed and turned for a moment before suddenly gasping loudly. Her face grew hard and fierce and then suddenly her eyes shot open and she sprung up into a sitting position, trying to catch her breath.

"Bella, do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"What?" She said through heavy breaths. I felt her confusion, though her face said it all.

"Uh, I don't know you said it in your sleep a second ago." I fought a grin.

"Oh, uh, no. It was weird, at first it was like a deja vu of earlier. That was something I'd said to my dad as an excuse to get out of the room when I was going into a panic attack, it's how my dream started." The grin left my face.

"You had a panic attack earlier? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm fine. It was almost like I could feel the weird crushing sensation from my dream when Charlie brought up my truck, I kinda freaked out. I came up here because I thought you'd be in my room. I was going to ask you to calm me down, but Emmett was here instead, which was uh, totally fine. I was surprised enough that it distracted me and the anxiety went away after a bit." I set the journal on the night stand and sat back into bed next to her, pulling her into my lap and hugging her closely.

"I'm so sorry, you were probably scared half to death when you saw Emmett in here instead of me. I just didn't want you to come upstairs to an empty room and think the worst."

"It was a bit of a shock, but it was okay. I'm glad you sent him, he's fun."

"Here, write your dream down before you forget." I felt a pang of nervousness from her.

"You might not like it." She said hesitantly.

"You can't control your dreams Bella, I promise I won't get upset." I handed her the journal and pen. She hesitated before she grabbed it and started writing, her anxiety was only building as she finished and handed me the journal. I took it carefully, a bit nervous myself to see what had her so anxious. I re-read the entry several times before sliding it back under her pillow. She eyed me nervously and I wondered if she was aware that she'd been dreaming of being a vampire or if she hadn't pieced it together. I knew what I thought it meant, but I wondered how she'd interpreted it. To me, it said that Bella becoming a vampire was the only way for her to truly get past this whole Edward situation, it would kill the monster inside of him, the dark menacing Edward that wasn't the brother I knew. I tried not to get my hopes up for her to draw the same conclusions.

"What do you think it means?" I prodded.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure . . ." Her words trailed off and she bit her lip. Feelings of insecurity flooded her aura and knotted with her anxiety which concerned me. I hated when she felt that way, I wanted to change it, to take her fears away. Not with my gift, but by showing her that she was worthy and giving her all of the love and security she deserved.

"Bella, if you don't want to talk about it right now, it's okay." I sighed.

"I'm just . . . kind of tired." She yawned, but I could feel that she was trying to hide something. She was tired, but she wasn't going to fall back asleep easily, she was choosing not to tell me what she was thinking. I didn't like knowing that there was something she felt like she couldn't talk to me about, it was driving me nuts. She climbed out of my lap and we laid back down, this time she turned to face me. I lifted my hand to her chin, tilting her face slightly towards mine and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Bella, I love you. I just want you to know that I'll never stop loving you, for as long as I live. Eternity wouldn't be enough time with you." I felt some of her insecurity ease as she searched my face for something. The depth of her big brown eyes seemed infinite in that moment, like I could get lost in them, I wanted to know their secrets.

"I love you too, forever." She put a bit of emphasis on forever and I let myself hope for a moment that her idea of forever and mine aligned. She laid there for a while with her eyes closed, sleep evading her, I could tell her that her mind was racing. I slowly helped her ease back into slumber with my gift and tried not to worry too much about her dream, or how she'd felt about it. There were already enough things to worry about on the horizon.

I couldn't figure out why Edward ran. I understood why he was upset, I wasn't completely unsympathetic, but I couldn't understand why he would run from his family and from his wife. It only made me more suspicious. I'd remembered something earlier that was concerning, I'd brought it up to Alice while we were out looking for Edward.

"Do you remember the time that Edward surprised us all, even you, with that elaborate party for your anniversary?"

"Oh! Our 25th wedding anniversary! Of course, he got me the black Hubert de Givenchy evening gown worn by Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's! It was magical!" She swooned at the memory.

"How did he do it . . . evade your sight?"

"He practiced for years working on ways to dodge my sight. Most of them were unsuccessful, but I don't know, he just knows me so well, he can see into my mind. He knows how it works . Oh! I can see where you're going with this . . . He wouldn't Jasper. . ."

"Can he do it whenever he wants?"

"I suppose he could, but we don't have secrets. It's one of the biggest rules of our marriage. He doesn't use that advantage over me unless it's for something fun, like a gift or a trip and I don't block my thoughts, except for those same reasons."

"But he's been different lately, don't you think?"

"Jasper, I don't' think he's doing it on purpose. He wouldn't." Her disbelief was starting to lace with guilt, worry, and realization. I knew that this couldn't be easy on her, he'd never ran off without her before, even at his moodiest, I tried to soften the blow a bit while still making my point.

"It isn't like him Alice, you're right. I know just how much he loves you, I can feel it, but he hasn't been himself recently. We need to be prepared for all possibilities." She was silent for a long time before I felt her feelings resolve. She became determined as we set off to keep looking for her husband.

I hadn't wanted to push Alice too far over the edge so I'd kept a lot of my opinions to myself at the time. The fact that our futures had recently became dark and tangled could have everything to do with Edward trying to evade her sight. Something was coming, something we wouldn't be prepared for, but I'd seen battle. I'd fought wars more violent than even the fiercest human soldier could imagine, but this was the most important fight of my life, the fight to keep Bella alive. I needed to know what Edward was trying to hide, what he was waiting for. I'd searched the forest behind Bella's house before coming up to her room for any trace of Edward's scent, but I hadn't picked anything up.

I knew that everything was starting to spiral out of control after today's disaster, Bella's scent was no longer confined to the walls of my safe cozy little cabin. It was now coating the inside of my truck and it had now been carried through the main house by Emmett, Alice, and Carlisle. Though I hoped they were all smart enough to change and shower afterwards. The expectation that I could keep Edward from coming into contact with Bella's scent all together was starting to seem less and less realistic. I started to really weigh the pros and cons of Bella's idea. It still sounded ridiculous and unnecessarily dangerous, but I was starting to loose faith in my other options. I'd been so quick to dismiss her earlier, I'd almost lost her just hours before, I couldn't even think of doing something that would put her further into danger. Now I wasn't sure what was more dangerous, playing the waiting game or facing our demons. What was I supposed to do when every possible option sounded like a worst case scenario?

I worried that he could come into contact with her scent without our knowledge, he could dodge Alice's sight and we'd never even know what was coming. It was true that it would be less dangerous for him to come into contact with her scent indirectly, where if he were to snap, she wouldn't be any where near him - we could stop him. But that only served to open a whole new can of worms, like what would happen once he'd had the taste of her scent on his tongue. Would he be able to ignore it? Was he strong enough to fight through it if given the chance, in a setting where it wouldn't catch him off guard? Or would it only serve to ensure a long and dangerous pursuit ending in death - his, hers, possibly both. Keeping them separated was the only safe bet, but Alice didn't seem to think that was going to be a viable option either.

"He's going to Alaska when we find him." I told her. My anger had grown the longer we searched for him, the longer we came up empty handed.

"Do you remember when I told you that if it were that easy we'd have already left?" She asked hesitantly.

"It has to be that easy."

"Do you really want to know what I saw when I looked down that path? He kept running back. No matter how many ways I tried to look at it, it was always the same. Sometimes it took weeks, sometimes it took months, but the defeat will always eat at him and he will always come running home. This deep seeded idea that this is a challenge he has to face is never going to be completely go away until he confronts it, or until she's no longer human. That's why I didn't argue when he wanted to stay here, or when Carlisle allowed it, because there isn't one option that looks better than the other. Do you know what happens when the sense of threat goes away for long enough that you can breathe again? You make mistakes, you're not prepared, which is what will happen to you and Bella if we go to Alaska. I feel responsible, I mean I didn't see any of this coming. All I saw was Bella moving here and you guys falling in love, you were gonna have a happy simple life. Then her first day I had that vision and everything started to shift. I didn't know it was going to be this complicated or we would have left long before she came. Then, I wanted to believe in him so badly that I ignored the signs. You were right, I should have gone to him today, before he ran off. In Alaska, he was obsessing over the situation almost as much as I was, watching my every vision - so convinced that you would fail. It was strange. He felt terrible, but then . . . it was almost like he couldn't wait to get back, like he wanted to test himself after seeing how well you'd done around her. I should have known this was only going to grow into a worse problem. Now he's going to feel like I'm against him, and you probably think I'm awful for not telling you this sooner. I just didn't want to believe it. "

"Alice, none of this is your fault. He's your husband. You shouldn't feel guilty, you've done so much for Bella and I this week. You've saved her life twice, I know you just want the best for everyone. You've also done Edward plenty of favors too, by stopping him from doing things he'll regret - things that will get him killed. He'll see it that way eventually if we can ever get through this."

"I think we both know there's only one way to get through this and you need to talk to Bella about it."

"I know. I just . . . it's not like we can run off and she can change tomorrow. Her father knows we're dating. He's the chief of police, he'd never let it go if we disappeared together. So why not take the time to let her figure out if it's what she wants."

"Anything is possible, but fate sneaks up and the future could change. I do see her becoming one of us, but that's only because we were able to avoid this morning, when in an instant everything could have changed and she could have very well died before ever making it that far. I clearly don't have all of the answers Jasper, this is too complex now, there's too many moving parts."

I laid in Bella's bed, staring up at the ceiling and mulling everything over until her father's alarm went off. I hopped out of bed and carefully listened for his next move as he exited his bedroom. He went into the bathroom and I relaxed a bit, going to take a seat in the rocking chair over in the corner of the room. He went about his morning routine without checking in on Bella. I climbed back into bed with her after he left. Though I tried not to wake her, she started to stir after just after I'd gotten in. I wondered if the sudden temperature change was what woke her.

"Good morning." She said once her sleepy eyes had focused on my face.

"Good morning beautiful." I kissed her forehead and watched a smile spread across her face as I sent her a flicker of my love.

"I need a few human minutes." She rolled away from me and sat up to stretch her limbs. I watched as she grabbed some clothes before heading off to the bathroom. I went and pulled out the duffle bag that Alice had brought me last night when she picked me up. I'd stuffed it in the closet when I arrived last night before Bella had even noticed that I was here. I smiled, thinking of her face when she'd seen me, she'd jumped into my arms and squeezed me as tightly as she could and forgave my absence in an instant, I wasn't worthy of her love. I changed my clothes quickly and pulled on my boots before Bella came back into her room.

When she was done getting ready I followed her downstairs and sat with her while she ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast. She'd been in a rather thoughtful mood since she woke up and I was wondering what was on her mind.

"You're quiet this morning. Is everything okay?" I asked.

"You are too, you tell me first." She said after a moment, shoving a spoon full of cheerios into her mouth. I hadn't really noticed since I'd been so focused on her, but she wasn't wrong.

"There's something I think you should know." I told her, she set her spoon down and winced.

"Okay . . ."

"I didn't think much of it until yesterday when I was with Alice, but there have been times when Edward can kind of . . . dodge her sight. He's done it in the past as a way to surprise her with gifts. I never thought twice about it, I thought it was sweet seeing Alice so joyed, it was never any of my business. But now, I can't help but worry that he'll use the blind spots in her vision in less . . . wholesome ways. That maybe that's why she's having a hard time seeing ahead."

"I'm still not convinced he wants to hurt me, but I wonder why he'd be hiding from her visions if that isn't the case."

"That's what I'm worried about too." I admitted. I took a deep breath, "That's why I want to tell you that I've been considering you idea from yesterday." I felt her heart rate increase.

"Emmett said that he thought maybe it was a bad idea too. He told me about that woman from New Orleans . . ." She trailed off and I felt her anxiety. I fought back a wave of anger, trying my best to push it aside. I was a little upset that she'd went behind my back and talked to my brother about it. Though, I had to remind myself that I was the one who asked him to come here and I was the one who initially shot down what could be a potential solution. It was my fault that she'd felt the need to ask someone else what they'd thought, because I hadn't listened to her.

"It might very well still be a bad idea, but it is an idea none the less. I'm not saying it's what we're going to do, but I should have at least heard you out, you wanted me to bring the idea to my family and I dismissed you. I promise to try my best not to do that in the future. Though, that does leave me curious as to what else you and Emmett discussed." Her face turned red and her emotions began to churn. Her feelings were similar to when we'd started to discuss her dream last night, which left me even more curious.

"I'll never tell." She tried to play coy and make light of the situation, though her nerves were still rattled. She stood up and took her half eaten bowl of cereal to the sink. I was clueless about how to proceed. She rinsed the bowl out and leaned up against the counter and crossed her arms when she was finished. I felt a question tugging at her as she chewed on her lip. "Can we go to the cabin after school?" She finally asked after a moment.

"I guess that would be okay. You'd have plenty of protection out there." I thought for a moment before adding. "Call your father at lunch and tell him you're having dinner at my place." The phone in my pocket buzzed.

Sneak out the back and meet me down the street, that way no one see's you and Bella walking out the front door together. Can't wait to officially meet her :)

"Bella, Alice is down the road. I'm gonna head out the back and we'll honk when we pull up out front for you to come out." She nodded and I zipped over to give her a quick kiss before disappearing out the back door. I heard my truck just down the street, Alice had parked it as close to the tree line as she could so that I could stay covered most of the way to her. I checked to make sure the coast was clear before closing the distance between the woods and my truck, then Alice and I made the short drive down the road to pick up Bella. When we pulled up to her house, she was already outside, grabbing her book bag from her mangled truck which had been towed to her house. She brushed off a few pieces of broken glass and slung it over her shoulder. I opened the door as she walked over and held out my hand for her to grab as she hopped into my truck. She squeezed in, sandwiching me in between her and Alice, who was leaning her head past me so that she could talk to Bella.

"Bella! It's so nice to finally be able to meet you! I think we need a do over from yesterday!" Alice said, giving her an apologetic smile as she pulled away from the house.

"Uh, yeah, by the way . . ." Bella cleared her throat and made a strange face. "Gosh this is so weird, sorry . . . Um, thank you Alice, for saving my life. Uh - both times." Alice smiled and shook her head dismissing Bella's praises.

"Please, stop, it was no trouble at all. We can't become friends if you don't live long enough for it to happen!" She said, with a wink.

"Alice . . ." I hissed, shooting her a panicked look, but Bella began to laugh and I relaxed a bit.

"What?! It's true!" Alice said letting out an exasperated breath.

"By the way, thanks for the breakfast suggestion at the diner. It was amazing!" Bella told her after a moment.

"I knew you'd love it!" They chuckled and I could tell that Bella liked Alice, I couldn't help but smile. It made me forget all of my stress for a moment, seeing the two of them laughing together. It was just how I'd imagined, before I'd even gotten to know Bella, when it still seemed so unlikely. I wished things could always be this easy, that my family could all be together, laughing and living peacefully without the threat of danger looming just under the surface. As Alice and Bella continued to joke and chatter on, I closed my eyes and allowed myself a moment to really imagine. I imagined what Bella would be like if she were to become a vampire. She was already stunning and the change only served to enhance one's features, I couldn't imagine her being any more beautiful than she already was, nothing needed enhancing. I pictured her skin glistening in the sun, casting rainbows onto every nearby surface. I tried to envision her opening her wild, fiery, crimson eyes for the first time, before the animal blood ran it's course for long enough to turn them the same golden color as my own. I dreamed of her running alongside me, keeping up with my pace and of showing her all the passion that I felt for her without worrying about accidentally hurting her or losing control.

"Wake up, we're here!" Bella joked, snapping her fingers in front of my face. I smiled and slung my arm around her, pulling her closer to me. She leaned her head against my shoulder as Alice parked my truck.

"I'll give you two a few minutes of alone time before we need to head in. See you at lunch!" Alice hopped out of the truck and walked off towards the Jeep to join Rosalie and Emmett. Bella seemed to be watching her too.

"I like her." She said, smiling. I scooted over into the drivers seat to give her some space.

"She knew you would, she liked you before she met you." She shook her head in disbelief and grinned. "Do you have your phone?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah. It's a good thing my dad was preoccupied and didn't go through my bag yesterday. I didn't even think about it until this morning." I felt a bit of relief from her and she let out a dark chuckle before adding, "Well, today can't possibly be as bad as yesterday, right?"

"Let's not make any assumptions."