Chapter Eight
Every morning the Knights of Pluto roused at dawn for a morning run. For Zidane, it was somewhat cathartic to run and only focus on his breathing. The castle looked delicate in the soft, dewy morning light as he jogged ahead of the group. After that, they met with Captain Steiner for a debrief and wolfed down breakfast and then they were off for sword discipline. "Swing and swing, jab, swipe, parry, swing!" Steiner would conduct as the men stood in neat rows with their glinting iron. Steiner and Beatrix were impressed with the new recruit's sword use for someone who said they had no experience. That morning, the clouds threatened to open up with another storm as Zidane came around the final corner, slowing to a jog. He took in a deep breath, swinging his arms across his chest as he came to the rest point in front of the barracks.
"Six minutes and forty-four seconds," Steiner noted from where he stood. "You've managed to shave twenty-two seconds off in the past week, well done, Zeke."
"Thank you, Captain," Zidane said breathlessly.
Zidane found the gondola shifts to be the most boring. Foot traffic towards the castle wasn't particularly regular in the middle of the week. He spent those four hours watching the clouds go by, spying darting fish amongst the surfaces, and sometimes he was lucky if a frog came by to keep him entertained for a menial moment. Garden strolls were somewhat pleasant, but also just as boring. The castle checks were interesting at best in the sense of noticing new things in paintings. He was always on his toes to spot Garnet, however, he hadn't seen her since that first time nearly a week ago. By the end of the eighth day of his training, Zidane found himself in his private narrow bunk. He had a wash basin with a mirror, a small table, and a somewhat comfortable bed. He sighed as he kicked the door closed behind him, discarding his helmet across the table. He looked to himself in the mirror, raking his fingers through his unruly brown hair. Some days seemed simple, almost mindless. Other days, Zidane found himself hollowly staring into his reflection wondering who the hell was looking back at him. Zidane sighed again, dipping his head down. Eight days on the job and still Zidane couldn't decide if this was such a good idea after all. The exercise and routine had positively affected him. His left shoulder no longer bothered him anymore and the stiffness that plagued his body was long gone. The mental anguish of leaping back into society and organized time, however, was as chilly and stabbing as a river. In many ways, Zidane felt like he was spiraling out of control and there was no one to signal mayday to.
There came a knock at his door and he stiffened, pressing his hands to the edge of the wash basin. In the mirror, he saw Haagen peak his head in.
"Cap'n's here for you," Haagen said.
"What does he want?" Zidane looked over his shoulder. It was after dark now. Zidane had been wide awake far before the sun had even risen.
"I dunno," Haagen shrugged, pushing the door open now. "He's downstairs waiting for you." Zidane reached for his helmet, exasperation evident in his body language. He was hoping maybe Steiner had changed his mind about the bodyguard idea. Zidane felt entirely unfit for the position. All he'd do is mess it up like he had everything else. Steiner was crazy for not considering one of his longer term soldiers. He felt Haagen was much better equipped. "Why do you always put your helmet on?" Haagen asked as they left his bunk. "Captain Steiner doesn't require you always have it on. It's the worst part of the uniform, anyway."
"My hair is oily," Zidane said as they began down the stairs.
"Whose isn't after a fourteen hour day?"
Zidane was quiet as Steiner came into view. He stood patiently in the front foyer, his hands folded behind his back. He grinned lightly when he spied his star soldier. Zidane seemed a little rigid, however. Steiner was sure he was tired from his day. The Captain himself was also exhausted and knew Beatrix had already retired to bed. He was anxious to return to her. "Zeke, I'm sorry to bother you," Steiner said as Zidane came to the bottom of the stairs. Haagen slinked out of the scene, joining the other watching soldiers in the common room. "I was hoping you and I could go for a walk perhaps?"
"Oh man, is Zeke gettin' fired?" Haagen whispered to Breireicht.
"A walk? With the captain? At twilight?" Blutzen raised his eyebrows. "Maybe he knows too much and Captain Steiner can't just let him leave."
"No way," Laudo shook his head. "If Captain Steiner kept Dojebon, there's no reason to get rid of Zeke."
"Hey!" The clumsy man crossed his arms over his chest.
"Maybe the Captain's threatened by Zeke," Mullenkedheim grinned almost sinisterly.
Together, the curious group of soldiers watched as Zidane and Steiner showed themselves out the door. Immediately, Kohel went to the window, peaking around the bland curtains. The moonlight above shed down on the men's armor and Zidane found himself almost dragging his feet beside Steiner. The frogs croaked as they passed the river. Steiner glanced towards the vacant gondola, double checking the soldiers had secured the tether. Zidane tilted his head down feeling even more miserable than ever. Coming to the Knights of Pluto had been the change he needed, but in the end, it proved to be much more painful than he anticipated. Zidane's nerves were pricked as he waited for Steiner to speak. He followed the Captain past Queen Brahne's memorial, heading towards the stairs that lead to the waterway. Zidane glanced towards a portion of the garden that was roped off. The water lapped up against the stone not far from their boots. Steiner looked out towards the glittering landscape of the growing Alexandria. He took in a deep breath of sweet honeysuckle. With the approaching summer, the garden would be drenched in fragrance and vibrancy.
"I'm sure you know why I've brought you out here," Steiner finally said, turning to spy his soldier had lost himself in the sights of the tall, glowing castle.
Zidane pursed his lips in the shadow of his helmet. "You've finished your evaluation of me."
"I'm very impressed, Zeke," Steiner told him and Zidane shuddered in his armor. "You're punctual and thorough. You're tireless and remarkable. Being a soldier was truly your calling. I want you to be Queen Garnet's personal bodyguard and correspondent. You shall report directly to me and General Beatrix and Queen Garnet as necessary. It's a very worthy title for only an eight day recruit. I'm trusting you, Zeke, to not let me down. You seem like your head is screwed on right. There can be no jackassery in the presence of Her Majesty."
Zidane lowered his head, watching the moonlight sparkle across the surface of the rippling water. "You're sure you can trust me?"
Steiner also looked to the water. "I've never felt more right about a recruit in my life. However… Soldier, please remove your helmet. I've just realized I've never truly seen your face."
"I… I, uh," Zidane lifted his eyes, feeling his mouth go dry. "I'm… disfigured. There was an attack on Lindblum last year… I'm sure you're aware of it. I… I look grotesque, Captain."
"That is nonsense, Zeke," Steiner shook his head. "Do you think General Beatrix allows her wounded eye to prevent her from being courageous and heroic?"
"No, Captain, I just…" Zidane stiffened. "I would prefer to keep my helmet on, sir."
Steiner turned towards Zidane and reached for his elbow, forcing him to turn on his feet to face him. Zidane's heart was thundering in his chest, he was cursing in his mind. Why did he think he could prevent this from happening? Why would Steiner let some faceless soldier accompany the Queen on her agenda? Why me? Briefly crossed Zidane's mind. Zidane back pedaled from Steiner's reach, his legs somewhat shaky. He let out a deep sigh, his shoulders rising and falling rapidly.
"The wound must bother you a lot," Steiner said. "I promise you, young man, nobody here will mock you for your wounds. It is part of life. It tells a story. Her Majesty will extend the same grace, too."
Zidane thought his heart would simply give out in his chest. This was it, he told himself. He was busted, barely a week in. He couldn't just run. All he could think in his mind was what an idiot he was. Of course Steiner would find out. But… was Steiner willing to help him continue this facade? Finally, he nodded towards the Captain. "I just want to say, Captain, that I am really, really sorry."
"What?" Steiner furrowed his brow, watching the soldier pensively. Cautiously, he lowered his hands to his hips.
"This wasn't how I wanted it to happen," Zidane reached for his helmet, giving it the slightest tug. He held his breath for a moment. "But, uh…" Zidane lifted the helmet completely off, lamely dangling it at his side. His brown hair fell across his sweaty forehead and he looked to Steiner, who had paled significantly. "It's good to see you, Rusty." The Captain seemed rather stiff. He barely moved for a moment, but soon, his bold brow began to twitch and his jaw came unhinged.
"Zi… Zidane?" Steiner managed to finally choke out. "This is impossible. I'm delusional, I swear. This is what I get for not sleeping." He pressed his hands to his face, rubbing deeply. He turned but then paused, looking back to him. Zidane's eyes were solemn and stone hard. "Is it really you, Zidane? Let me ask you something that only Zidane would know," Steiner pressed his hands to his hips. Zidane sighed, bending his neck backwards.
"I just called you 'Rusty', isn't that enough proof?" Zidane carelessly dropped his helmet and shrugged his chest plate off, revealing his stiff tail.
"I can't believe it," Steiner shook his head as Zidane clipped his torso piece back together. "But… how? Zidane, where have you been?" Steiner blinked rapidly. "And… why are you a Knight of Pluto?"
"Look," Zidane sighed, raking his hand through his messy hair. "Steiner, I haven't even been awake and functioning for more than twenty-two days. It's like I time traveled or something. For the past year, I just… there's nothing there," Zidane hunched his shoulders and bit down on his lip. "I barely know what day it is, what month it is. I even forget the freakin' year! I've been lurking around a bit… everyone seems so… different, Steiner. And maybe I just can't accept all of that quite yet, but… I just wanted to be close to you guys."
"You have no idea how much Her Majesty has mourned you, Zidane," Steiner said, looking at him almost hurt. "Why can't you let all of us help you? Her Majesty has spent the last nine months sending search teams for you."
Zidane huffed, sitting down on the stairs. "I appreciate the concern but… I don't know, Steiner. I have to come to grips with this on my own. You've all accomplished so much, I just…" Zidane was quiet for a moment, folding his hands together and dangling his head downward. "I wanted to be redeemable for all of you. I left you all behind and like always, I was made a fool of."
"What happened?" Steiner knelt down in front of Zidane. "Where have you been for the past year? We've gone to the corners of this planet looking for you."
"I was on a farm… in Dali," Zidane looked up.
"You mean… this whole time, you've been right around the mountain range?" Steiner was almost breathless. "Beatrix went so far…" He shook his head. "How did you get there?"
"Well," Zidane pursed his lips. "The Iifa Tree started to collapse on itself. Vines were coming at us like we were parasites… and, I guess they were right. But Kuja summoned a portal beneath me and the last thing I remember was falling out of a forest and then… nothin'. Not until the beginning of January. A widowed farmer took care of me. I didn't stay long, though. I was at Dagger's birthday gala."
"This whole time, you've been right under our noses," Steiner said, still quite bewildered. "No wonder I thought you'd be perfect to take over my duties for an extended time."
"Steiner," Zidane sat up straight, looking directly at the Captain. "Nobody can know I'm alive. I need time to re-assimilate and… figure who the hell I even am. Please, it's a personal wish that you call me Zeke. We shouldn't even let Beatrix know."
"That's out of the question," Steiner shook his head. "She has to know. And she's much more clever than I am… and a lot more forceful."
Zidane sighed, digging his elbow into his knee. "Okay, fine. But that's it for right now. I just want to feel normal, Steiner. I need routine again. But… I couldn't be more grateful for what you're doing for me. Who knows… maybe spending some time with Dagger will make everything feel alright again."
"I'd be surprised if not," Steiner nodded, picking Zidane's helmet up from off the ground. "For the record: I don't agree with this stupid idea, Zidane. You shouldn't contend with your problems on your own, in the shadows. You should be letting us help you, like you did for us."
"It's different, Steiner…"
"I don't accept that answer."
"Yeah, well, you're not an Angel of Death, are you?" Zidane ground his teeth together. "You didn't find out you were from a different planet, created in a test tube, played with like it was nothing more than an interesting little experiment. I found all of that out, what feels like, three weeks ago, Steiner! I've left you all in the dust twice and found myself always at an inch of my life without all of you. And maybe, Steiner, that's because I can't defy genetic make-up. Maybe it's just in my DNA to always screw things up. I… I need time to process this, but I cannot lay around all day just thinking about it. It'll eat me alive. I didn't even want you to know, Steiner, because I didn't want to burden you with this. But… I trust you."
Steiner's face softened and he looked to Zidane's polished helmet that glistened in the bright moonlight. He slowly ran his finger over the small embossed crest of Alexandria. "If it's what you wish," Steiner finally said, slowly nodding his head. "It will indeed be burdensome but…" Steiner looked to the wilted young man. "I owe you my life, Zidane. And now, I shall help you find yours again."
He extended the helmet out towards Zidane. The recruit stared at it for a moment before gingerly taking it into his hands. "Thanks, Captain."
Distantly, the cicadas chirped and the frogs bellowed from the bobbing lily pads washed up against the embankments. "Tomorrow is the weekly Civil Meeting of the townspeople with Her Majesty. That will be your first event as her personal bodyguard. These gatherings can get… rather festive. You're to report at the eastern conference room by seven sharp."
Zidane stood, mashing the helmet back over his molded hair. "So, tell me, why was my position created? Why are you passing your duties off?"
Together, they ascended the stairs, weaving back through the windy garden. They came to a stop on the porch of the soldiers barracks. Steiner grinned, tilting his head. "You have your secrets, soldier. I have mine."
…
The bright morning light fell rapidly across Garnet's face and she cringed, turning away from it. "Good morrow, Your Majesty!" She heard the eccentric voice of one of her most diligent maids. "Rise and shine, Your Highness! It's a new day with new things to do. I've delivered your agenda to the tea table. Coffee is ready, too, My Liege." Garnet sighed, lifting her head from the pillow. It was a gorgeous day outside. It seemed the stormy clouds had been chased away, yet the weight in her heart remained. As she slipped from bed, the maid was at her side in a moment, settling her silk robe over her shoulders. "Slippers right here, My Lady," She said, gingerly patting Garnet's arm. She followed closely on Garnet's heels, pushed her chair in for her, and gracefully poured the coffee, adding a dash of cinnamon and sending a wink towards the young woman. As Garnet took the first reviving sip of coffee, she looked over her agenda that was, as usual, dictated by Steiner.
Good Morning Your Majesty. I regret to inform you I am not available this morning due to a prior occupation with the Knights of Pluto.
Garnet wouldn't blame Steiner if he came right out and said he disliked the Civil Meetings.
As of today, however, I have found someone to fulfill a role that will help fill in my absence during this time. He is a new recruit by the name of Zeke Tisdoll. He hails from Lindblum and is a promising soldier. During this time, he will act as your bodyguard and carry correspondence for you as necessary. We will meet as soon as time permits. Dutifully, Steiner.
Garnet sighed, lowering the agenda. A personal bodyguard? What was Steiner thinking? Garnet felt more than capable of taking care of herself and had proved it time and time again. She had heard the complaints from Mullenkedheim and Blutzen that they desperately needed more people walking about the premise. The Knights of Pluto worked longer shifts than Squad Beatrix and sometimes accomplished less. Why was this promising new recruit Steiner described assigned to follow her around as she did her mundane tasks?
"Everything alright, Your Majesty?" The maid sung out as if there wasn't a care in the world. Meticulously, she smoothed Garnet's bed sheets and wiped clean the mirror at her vanity. She took a moment to sort through Garnet's cosmetics and perfumes, carefully lining them up against the decadently carved wood sidings.
"Yes, ma'am, everything is fine," Garnet said evenly. "It seems I have a new assistant, however. Despite being Queen, Stella, I truly do have a hard time breaking the ice with new people."
"Ah, you needn't worry about that, My Lady," Stella laughed, rounding up the dirty linens from the marble bathroom. "You're an interesting young woman, even when you don't talk."
Garnet didn't finish her coffee. She powdered her face and applied rouge to look attentive. The Civil Meetings required lots of energy. She hoped by making it look that way, she would have more of a chance of getting a word in during someone's anger fueled rant. Stella hummed as she combed through Garnet's long inky hair. She put on an olive green silk dress that had intricate embroideries along the narrow bodice. The skirt didn't have much flair, making it very modest, yet regal. Lady Hilda had given it to her, of course. Stella wished Garnet the best of luck on her day, making sure the young ruler left with the agenda in hand. The maid then set about to deep cleaning the royal chambers.
Garnet sighed as she found herself walking down the hallway alone. Her heels were muted against the carpet and she lifted her skirt, descending the stairs to head for the conference room. It was days like these where she felt more locked away than ever. Despite all the turmoil and uncertainty she faced last year, she'd do it all again if she had the choice, just to experience that freedom one more time. If it meant she could hear Zidane's gentle voice, carrying on in the dead of night, just one more time, she would do it without looking back. Now, she felt she had nothing to look forward to. She was walking directly towards the hardest part of her life. How dearly she wanted to do away with everyone's troubles, but things took time. It made her feel like a failure of a Queen. And it felt as if there was nothing on her horizon for her to be excited about. The Airship Gala in Lindblum was approaching rapidly. Her heart wrenched just thinking about having to dangle on Liam's arm in a public event.
As she came around the final corner, she spied a soldier in armor, waiting patiently by the door. Garnet took in a deep breath, pursing her lips as she approached. Upon hearing her, he saluted, and Garnet smiled politely at him. "Good morning, Zeke. I understand you're filling in for Steiner this morning."
Zidane cleared his throat, lowering his arm back to his side. "Yes, Your Majesty. Whatever you need, I am at your command."
"I'm sure Steiner described a bit about this event," Garnet glanced up and down the hallway. "The civilians will indeed be here promptly at eight o'clock. It's best if we funnel them into a line. It makes it much easier for me to take notes. I wish for no physical conduct, however. If it is time for them to go, I appreciate gentle arm linking with the civilian."
"Yes, Your Majesty," Zidane nodded. "I understand your wishes."
"Thank you," Garnet pushed the doors to the conference room open. It was a large and spacious room with a wall of windows. It had a magnificent view of the mountains leading towards Treno. The ceilings were vast and high with gold leaf delicately stroked in the grooves. At the very front of the room, there was a large table with dozens of inkwells and neatly stacked parchment. Zidane looked all around him, turning in a circle. "Quite grand, isn't it?" Garnet said, her heels echoing across the room. "This conference chamber had been badly destroyed during the Siege last year. The designer brought it back to life in quite an elaborate way."
"How full does this room get during these meetings?" Zidane looked over his shoulder at her. She looked stunning in the morning light bathing over her. Her porcelain skin glowed and her dark hair was bold and alluring as it fell over her shoulders. She looked so delicate, yet assertive. Zidane felt his stomach clench.
"You'd be amazed," Garnet told him, seating herself at the desk and getting situated. "Sometimes it's people all the way to the other end of the room. And they can get quite impatient. That is why every civilian has three minutes to present their proposal or submit their complaint."
"Is this one of your essential duties?" Zidane asked, coming closer to the desk. Garnet had began dating the top of her parchment. Her handwriting was as graceful as she was.
"My mother and father used to do this, yes, but my mother postponed them all after his death and, as you know, things were disrupted for some time," Garnet said. "But I thought it would only be right to continue with them. I do want to be the best Queen I can be for these people."
"Well, I'd say you're doing a good job, Your Majesty."
Garnet smiled briefly before looking back to her task. "I suppose I could get used to a personal bodyguard such as yourself. Steiner can be… strict… I will pretend that's the right word." Garnet laid her quill down. "But from what I've heard, you're very capable and something about you is very laid-back. I like that, Zeke."
Zidane felt incredibly warm in his armor. He almost quivered. Since the moment he had woken up, he had thought endlessly of this girl. Those bold dark eyes and pale complexion. That melodious voice and her kind soul. And now, he was facing it all again behind what felt like iron bars. Zidane wanted to be with Garnet so badly. But he couldn't. He couldn't burden her. He didn't want to be the King. How could he? Didn't they all remember what he was? Finally, he realized the silence had been quite prolonged.
"I hope I can accommodate your standards, Your Majesty."
In the next moment, a soldier from Squad Beatrix appeared in the door. "Your Majesty, it is time."
"Escort them in, please."
…
The smell of bacon and sausage roused Beatrix from her sleep. She emerged from her slumber, like resurfacing in raging waters. Another night, another stressful barrage of unconscious babble coming at her from all directions. Zidane's face, Garnet's tears, Blank's anger, and now… a baby. The General propped herself up in bed, absorbing the world sinking in around her. She placed her hand to her flat stomach wondering how in the world a baby could be inside of her. Sometimes she wondered if the doctor had made a mistake. But she couldn't ignore the tell-tale symptoms that washed over her. It frightened the General, to the very core of her, that for the first time, she didn't know what to do. Beatrix had always lead others. But this circumstance had her plagued with a feeling of being misguided. She was nearly thirty. A woman of her age did not have children. Especially war-mongers such as herself. How could she possibly raise this child right? Without resentment, without confusion, without sadness? Despite growing life inside her, she couldn't find a fiber in her being that wished to be maternal. Would she remember to hug the child as much as possible? Express herself to them? What if she couldn't? How was she magically supposed to know what to do? Other women made it look so simple. But Beatrix was frightened she'd be no better than her own mother.
"Ah, you're awake," Beatrix turned her head to see Steiner, dressed in only his tunic and slacks, holding a tray of food. "Hungry?"
Beatrix furrowed her brow, looking to the clock on the wall. "It's after eight! What about the Civil Meeting?"
"Don't worry," Steiner said, sitting on the edge of the bed and setting the tray in Beatrix's lap. She couldn't say it didn't look good. Crispy bacon, plump sausage links, golden sunny-side up eggs, with toast and jelly. Beatrix's stomach was growling instantly. "I was waiting for you to get up to tell you something." He turned to her on the bed as she took a bite out of the toast. "There will be more explaining to do this evening, but right now, I wanted to let you know, I've made space in my schedule for you. Whether it's to cover your shift or be here for you. I know things are somewhat confusing, maybe even scary right now but… I'm here for you, Beatrix."
"But how did you do that?" Beatrix asked. "The Knights of Pluto are already stretched so thin."
"That's what I will explain this evening."
"Steiner, you're talking in riddles," Beatrix made a face as she reached for a slice of bacon.
"Well, I feel like I'm living in one," Steiner smiled and for a moment, Beatrix felt okay.
…
The Civil Meeting adjourned at eleven o'clock sharp. As Garnet scribbled the last of her notes across the parchment, she looked up and blinked rapidly. She gazed all across the room, seeing only Zidane, who was closing the doors. Garnet stood, her chair scraping backwards, and she looked at the approaching soldier almost perplexed. "Everyone's gone?" Garnet asked, furrowing her dark brow.
"Yeah, you spoke to everyone," Zidane told her.
"Really?" Garnet now arched her eyebrows. "That's never happened before, Zeke. And… and everyone was in relatively good spirits when they spoke to me. What were you doing back there? I saw an awful lot of shuffling, but I could never see what you were up to."
"I was just talking to the civilians, I hope that was alright," Zidane sheepishly rubbed the nape of his neck, tilting his helmet over his eyes. "Tell 'em a joke or so, let them know we're working as hard as we can to make sure we hear them. Just little things like that."
"Zeke, I just…" Garnet paused for a moment. "You're brilliant, you know that? Steiner never much converses with them. He can be rather shy, I believe. That was the easiest Civil Meeting I think I've ever held before. Mullenkedheim was not over exaggerating when he told me about you."
"It is my honor, Your Majesty," Zidane saluted. "What is next on the agenda for today?"
"Oh, right," Garnet reached for it. "I'm meeting with a florist before lunch." Garnet came around the desk and Zidane was quick to follow, being sure not to step on her skirt. He couldn't help but think she should wear green more often. "I believe I mentioned to you and Laudo we were making a memorial in the garden for a friend of mine." Zidane stiffened upon hearing those words, but kept at a steady pace beside her. "How much do you know about the war, Zeke?"
"I lived in Lindblum at the time when it was attacked," Zidane told her, quite easily. He was so nervous, it was easier to pretend to be someone else entirely.
Garnet stared forward a moment, slowly blinking with her full lashes. "I'm sorry if you lost anything or anyone you loved. I am only glad we can rebuild from what happened. And learn to accept what we had to do during that time. My wise friend once said that with all the problems in the world, you'd think there would be more solutions. There's not, unfortunately. But we can learn to make do with the solutions we do have." Zidane lowered his eyes. Garnet had been awake that night?
"Sounds like a smart guy," Zidane finally said.
"He was," Garnet folded her hands in front of her as they descended towards the front foyer. "In many ways, he was my hero. And I'll be sure nobody ever forgets him."
…
The crickets were chirping and the sky was a moody mixture of blacks and purple by the time Zidane was heading back for the barracks. The Queen had many things on her agenda each day. He had no idea how Garnet could do it all with such grace. He was muddled within himself as he meandered through the garden rather mindlessly. Garnet seemed to be thriving. Her job was hard, but she kept her delicate poise, as usual. She was pleasant to talk to. His job was almost too overwhelming. His heart wanted to explode because of how much he loved her, but his brain controlled him, and reminded him constantly that he would only hurt her more. Zidane had dug his grave it felt like. Now all there was left to do was fall into it. The glowing barrack finally appeared from around a hedge and Zidane sighed, tilting his head down.
"Soldier!" Zidane staggered for a moment before turning and saluting. His heart thundered in his chest as Beatrix and Steiner appeared in the lemony pool of light. "Do you have a moment for the General?"
"Yes, sir, of course," Zidane nodded.
"Our barracks, now," Steiner gestured for him to follow. Zidane was exhausted and didn't even have the mental capacity to refuse. He followed, holding in a sigh. The least amount of people who knew, the better, he reminded himself. Beatrix, however, was more trustworthy than the loud-mouthed panicking Captain. But having to justify himself to Beatrix was much harder. Zidane hated himself in that moment. He was doing exactly what he didn't want to happen; burden the people he loved. But he couldn't defy who he was, who he so desperately despised and wanted rid from him. They stepped into the small quarters that were surrounded by budding daisies and lilies. It was warm in the modest home and smelled of peppermint. Zidane was taken into the common room that had a few plush seats and a couch, along with a cabinet of china Steiner had inherited from his grandmother. "Beatrix," Steiner pursed his lips. "You remember the impressive soldier, Zeke, right? He's done so well in his week on the squad, that I believed he was the key to helping spare me of duties so I may spend my time more efficiently."
"He's the personal attendant for Queen Garnet?" Beatrix again inspected his armor from head to toe. "Steiner, no offense, but he's only been with us for, like you said, a week. I would have selected Haagen or Mullenkedheim for the position. Zeke is better suited for patrol."
"There's a better reason why," Steiner told her, gingerly touching her arm. He nodded to Zidane and the young man took a deep breath. Slowly, he removed his helmet. Beatrix gasped sharply.
"This is a sick joke," Beatrix shook her head. Her heart was suddenly racing. "Zidane? What happened to your hair?"
"I got a haircut," Zidane said, holding his helmet beneath his arm. In the next moment, Beatrix surged forward, slapping him across the face. "Yowch!" Zidane hissed, touching his glazed cheek.
"Beatrix!" Steiner wheeled her backwards.
"Where the hell have you been!?" Beatrix cried out. "I've been looking for you personally for nine months! And Steiner!" She turned towards him, curling her hands into fists. The Captain nearly flinched. "You've known all day Zidane's been walking around with the Queen and told no one? We must alert Her Majesty at once."
"Beatrix, no," Zidane threw his helmet on the couch and reached for her now. "Please, Beatrix. Nobody can know I'm alive."
"And why not?" Beatrix shook her head. "Do you have any idea how many people are mourning you?"
"Yeah, I'm mournin' myself, too," Zidane said, his face very hard. "I have my reasons, Beatrix. Just let me keep my job, please. When the time is right, I'll know."
Beatrix took in a deep breath, pacing away from the two. "You're not making any sense, Zidane. Her Majesty needs you. You're really just going to watch her from the shadows?"
"What can I do to help her if I can't even help myself?" Zidane pressed his hand to his chest plate, furrowing his brow. "Maybe I need to refresh your memory, but don't you remember how close we came to the end of this world? I was an instrument of it."
"That's foolishness," Beatrix turned to him. "That's all over now, Zidane. You're not some acclaimed Angel of Death anymore."
"That doesn't change my origin or what makes up the inside of me," Zidane's voice was very tense. "Trust me, Beatrix, I'm more a burden than anything. I don't know what the hell has happened in the past year, but I'm trying to learn, okay? No need to interrupt progress if we don't have to. Dagger's a great Queen. I don't want to stand in her way."
"Your metaphorical gravestone does that for you," Beatrix crossed her arms over her chest.
"Are you in or am I fired?" Zidane held his arms out at his side. Steiner only watched in a rigid manner. "Just give me some time, Beatrix. Everyone has to come to terms with who they really are. Give me that decency, at least."
"I'll play your game for a bit," Beatrix told him, a swell of emotions of all kinds washing over her. "But if you're stalling just to piddle around, I will not hesitate to speak to the Queen. For the record, I think this is stupid, Zidane."
"Well, good," Zidane grinned. "That makes two of you."
"I guess I forgot how stubborn and noble you really are," Beatrix shook her head and then sighed. "It's good to have you, however, soldier. And now I don't have to review Breireicht's administrative skills. It all makes sense after all."
Zidane's smile was crooked as he looked between Beatrix and Steiner. Maybe it'd be alright, after all. Now, it was really all up to him. And he felt the weight of it all teetering on his tired shoulders.