Disclaimer: Indy Best Girl

Weather sucks.

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It really does.

Reviews:

Severak: Not Gay just yet... (But we can fix that!)

WarCorgi: Call an ambulance but not for me is just the summary of Portland in a nutshell ngl

John: Well, if you ever need help, you can always donate money to the Cult of Indy!

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Don't question it.

Portland's POV:

"Indy, what's up?" I laid on top of my bed, glancing at the newspapers.

"Nothing much." She lied down next to me. "What are you doing?"

"Just checking up on something." I folded the journal closed. "Do you want anything?"

"Yeah." Indy cuddled next to me. "I was just thinking."

"What?" I snuggled closer.

"You know how you wanted to marry me a lot and stuff?" Indy closed her eyes.

"Oh." I laughed it off. "That was just some far off fant-"

"Do you want to do it?" Indy tilted her head sideways to me. Her heterochromic eyes glimmered in the soft candlelight.

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"Indy...?"

"I mean, there's not really anybody else I would want to be with." Indy blushed slightly. "And, I uh… I'm very thankful for you, I guess."

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"Do you really mean it?" I held back my tears.

"Geez… Don't make me say it…" Indy looked down.

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I leaned forwards to kiss her.

And a guttural pain swept across my body.

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OoOoO

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I shuttered my eyes open, groaning. Why couldn't that have gone lucid faster? I was so ready to do it! Curses!

"So you're awake." Essex put away her camera. "Welcome back."

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"What was that?" I looked at her hand, which was cleverly concealed behind her back.

"Nothing." Essex shrugged, her airstrips imitating her shoulders. "Just checking up on you."

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"Why?" I asked.

"It's kind of my duty to make sure that my subordinates do well." Essex took a bottle of water from the nightstand and handed it to me. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Somewhat." I nodded my head.

"Do you think you would be okay if I left you alone?" Essex clenched her fist.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I decided to let her go. "You can go now."

"Well I was watching some of your previous matches, and I was mildly surprised by your fighting skills." Essex sat down next to me. "Would you like to try out for the officer corps? I have the paperwork filled out for you on this desk, and I'm fairly confident you would breeze through the selection process."

If the selection process let in people like San Francisco and Independence, I would be very dubious of its mechanisms.

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"Thank you but no." I shook my head. "I would rather not get entangled in that mess."

"That's quite a shame." Essex sighed. "You would do very well. We are in need of some talented new officers, and you would fit the bill."

"I just don't have the best memories of the Officer Corp." I recalled. "And I think I committed a felony, or four, so I couldn't join anyways."

"Oh yeah…" Essex nodded her head slowly.

"Thanks for checking up on me, I guess." I shrugged.

"It's really nothing. Rather, It's my job to do so. I assume that you can take care for yourself, so I will be making my exit..." Essex made her way to the door before stopping mid way.

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"One more thing." Essex turned her head back to me. "You should be able to leave the bed rather soon. By some miracle, the bullet somehow didn't puncture into your organs. Maybe it hit your prosthetic leg, I don't know."

"Rather soon meaning?"

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"I would advise a week or so." Essex walked out. That fast?

"Got it…" I nodded my head skeptically.

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OoOoOoO

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"Hey Portland." Intrepid wheeled Montpelier into the room. "What's up?"

"Did you light the Indy shrine candles!" I nearly jumped out of the bed.

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"Intrepid didn't." Montpelier sold her out. Intrepid kneed the back of the chair in return.

"I thought I trained you better than that." I sighed disappointingly.

"In my defense..." Intrepid began before trailing off.

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"So are you feeling okay?" She changed the topic.

"I could be better." I nodded. "It's not like I got shot with a gun."

"At least you're getting out quite soon." Montpelier groaned. "I've got to be in this stupid thing for a month or so."

"Oh yeah." I looked at her polished wheelchair. "Independence did break your leg..."

"What's even worse is that Montpelier only knows how to kick." Intrepid patted her head. "So she will be completely useless from now on!"

"I'm not useless!" Montpelier complained.

"Speaking of Independence, what happened to her?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Intrepid asked me. "You beat her in the match, so I assume she just got eliminated."

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What?

"I beat her?" I pointed at myself.

"Yeah." Montpelier nodded. "Something about hitting her out of the ring I guess. It was a technical win, I suppose."

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"So what happened to the tournament?" I pressed.

"Essex won by default." Intrepid shrugged.

Well yeah, I guess that would happen.

"Then what about Independence?" I finished my mental list of questions I prepared. "Did she get penalized for trying to kill me?"

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Intrepid and Montpelier looked at each other.

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"She got penalized, right?" I refused to confirm my suspicions.

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"Not really?" Intrepid looked away.

"WHAT?" I slammed the bedside table. "She tried to kill me!"

"She's rather high up there in the officer corp and her extensive community service bailed her out." Montpelier explained. "She did get a harsh warning, however."

"That has to be the most blatant form of corruption ever." I huffed, crossing my arms.

"I suppose." Intrepid shrugged. "But if people were put in jail for trying to kill somebody, then all three of us would be in jail."

"Fair enough!" I laughed it off.

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"Montpelier, what's wrong?" I looked at the terrified cruiser. (1)

"Nothing!" Montpelier unfroze and nervously laughed with us. "Just took me a while to get the joke ha ha ha..."

"You are a bit slow." Intrepid took a shot at Montpelier before turning and handing me back the Indy doll from all the way back then. "Hey, I got you this. I thought you might want it."

"Thanks!" I caught the doll and began to groom it.

If I concentrate hard enough, I can sniff Indy's smell from it. I pressed my nose into the doll and began to snort it up.

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Mmmmmmghhhh...

Indy you smell so sexy...

And Your hair tastes so delectable...

MMMMMMMMHHHHHh~

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Ahhhhhhhh

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"So what are you guys going to do?" I returned to reality, noticing their silence.

"I think we're going to stay with you for a bit and help out I guess." Montpelier causally ignored the past minute and a half.

"No, No, you don't have to do that." I shook my head. "I'll be fine by myself."

"But what about your food and stuff?" Montpelier asked.

"I can always just get other people to do it for me." I shrugged.

"Like who?" Montpelier crossed her arms.

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"Just pass me the cup of instant noodles." I pointed to the small counter on the opposite side on the room.

"Go, Intrepid." Montpelier pointed.

"Why me?" Intrepid whined.

"Because you are the only one with working legs." Montpelier grumbled.

"Why thank you." Intrepid made her way to the counter.

"So, what's your plan for today?" I asked.

"Well Montpelier and I are going to do something, I suppose." Intrepid grinned.

"Oh, That's neat." I nodded. "I thought you guys hated each other."

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They both stared awkwardly at each other.

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Oh dear.

"So where are you going?" I saved the conversation.

"We're going to an amusement park!" Intrepid patted the tufts on Montpelier's head.

"Wait what?" Montpelier looked up.

"But what's the point?" I asked Intrepid. "Montpelier can't get out of her wheelchair so she can't get on any of the rides. All you would be doing is showing that everybody else besides her is having fun."

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"Exactly." Intrepid snapped her fingers at me.

"No no no." Montpelier interjected. "You said you were bringing me to a nice fancy restaurant."

"And why would I ever pay for your food?" Intrepid began to push Montpelier out of the room.

"Now hold up!" Montpelier's voice began to fade as she rolled down the hall. "You can not do the ol switcheroo on me! THIS isn't fair! YOU SAID CAVIAR ON TOAST!"

"Who's rolling the chair?" Intrepid cackled.

"I DO NOT CONSET TO THIS!"

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OoOoO

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I was redressing up the Indy doll when a couple of knocks echoed along the hospital door.

"Come on in!" I shouted.

Who could be there? I wasn't really expecting many visitors to be honest…

"Hello…" Louisville gulped. "How are you?"

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Louisville. Why might she be visiting me? I didn't owe her any money, right? (2)

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"Louisville?" I recalled our not so fair fight. "Have you repented and turned to follow the holy church of Indy?"

"Yes." Louisville prostrated herself, bowing her head beneath her waist.

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"You're serious?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I'm sorry." Louisville pressed her hands together.

"Why?" I narrowed my eyes. Is she going to turn and backstab me again?

"Listen." Louisville sat down next to me. "I- I shouldn't have attacked you after the match."

"You're right." I agreed.

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"You're not supposed to affirm what I say."

"Deal with it."

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"But I just wanted to thank you for not permanently damaging." Louisville held my hand. "You had every right to stomp me into the ground, I did break several rules and tried to dismember you after all, but you didn't. I'm really grateful for it."

"You could show your gratitude by paying for an expansion of the Indy shrine!" I offered her a path to redemption.

"But I have a question for you." Louisville continued.

I looked as she raised her head to face me.

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"You should have finished me off. Why didn't you?" Louisville stared.

"Because you expressed interest in the church of Indy." I responded. "I would never attack a disciple."

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Louisville repressed the smile that was tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"I'll- I'll come over some time." Louisville turned around and made her way to the exit.

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OoOoO

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"Out of all people, I did not expect for you to come." I noted as the now dark grey haired cruiser slid the door behind her.

"Why thank you." San Francisco walked over. "I revel in the fact that you believe I am a soulless jerk."

"You're actually here to check on me?" My eyes widened.

"No." She shook her head, smiling widely. "I would not be here if I had to!"

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"So what are you here for?" I asked. "Going to repent about ruining my reputation?"

"Did I do that?" San Francisco asked, leaning her baseball bat against the stand.

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I reached for her wooden bat.

"That's just a joke! Chill." San Francisco tucked her accessory under her deck. "I did tell Enterprise the truth, so don't worry."

"And she punished me instead of you?" I skeptically eyed her.

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San Francisco looked to the sky. "I didn't say when I told her…" (3)

"I hope you get demoted." I huffed.

San Francisco motioned with her hand. "Listen, I'm kinda sorry about what I did-"

"Then you should have taken some responsibility." I interrupted.

"-but I'm not here to apologize." San Francisco notified me.

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Well that's quite rude.

"Then why are you here?" I sighed.

"Well, Baltimore was supposed to tell this to you, but she doesn't have the balls to enter the room!" San Francisco shouted at the entrance way. "So I got called to tell you about it instead."

"About what?" I asked.

"Your restraining order against Indy has been lifted." San Francisco handed me a stamped letter. "And you have been pardoned."

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"Really?" I closed my hanging jaw.

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"Somebody influential convinced Enterprise I suppose." San Francisco glanced down.

"Who is it?" I interrogated her. Who would do this for me?

"I don't know…" San Francisco looked away.

"You definitely know." I peered through her.

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"Well, she should be coming in some time later." San Francisco slowly fled the room. "Anyways, I got to go…"

"Bye, I guess?"

I felt like I was forgetting a question I needed to ask her…

Wait.

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I needed to ask about her perm.

Argh, In the name of Indy you're a fool Portland!

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OoOoO

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So who could this mystery person be? Who could and would do this?

Essex? She does have the influence over Enterprise since she is second in command. She's also my acquaintance and with some convincing from Intrepid, it wouldn't be too far off to say that she would step in for me.

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But, she's just an acquaintance. And she already visited me, so it's highly unlikely for it to be her.

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Maybe Saratoga? She does certainly have the connection to both Enterprise and myself. She also defended me in the past, so maybe she would do so once again. We also did work together alot and I would say that we're friends. She might have done it!

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But San Francisco said that whoever vouched for me would be coming in. And Saratoga is somewhere off in the pacific.

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Then who could have done it?

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Enterprise herself?

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No no no, she wouldn't do that for me. I mean why would she? She would have no motive to...

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"I need you to return to the front as an escort."

She wants to pardon my crimes and then conscript me into the officer corp!

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But if she was doing that, why would she also drop my restraining order with Indy? That wouldn't make sense.

Maybe she doesn't want to enlist me... But then, why would she help me out?

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Pity? Maybe she felt bad for me I guess? Or perhaps she wanted to do the right thing…

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Yeah, I still can't find a motive for her. But Enterprise herself is the only reasonable canidat-

"May I come in?" A masked voice fluttered from the doorway. Saratoga! It was her! She did come back to base!

"Um, Sure!" I brightened up. "And uh, I just wanted to say thank you soooo much for..."

"Good evening, Portland." Independence cautiously entered.

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No way in hell.

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Independence definitely did not help me. She tried to arrest me. She tried to blackmail me. And now, she tried to kill me. She is definitely not my friend.

But then what motive will she have? What can she gain from helping me?

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Nothing.

Then why would she be here?

"I have a job to do."

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She's not the person that San Francisco mentioned. She isn't the person who decided to save me. No.

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She's here to kill me.

"Independence." I silently reached for my turret. It was empty of shells.

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...For the love of Indy.

I began to stall. "You tried to kill me didn't you."

"Yes." The carrier stated. "I was hired to assassinate you."

"Who hired you." We locked eyes.

"I will not say." Independence quietly planted her feet down.

"You should at least tell me." I addressed her.

"I have no need to." Independence placed her hands behind her hull.

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"Well, what are you waiting for?" I sighed.

"Waiting for what?" Independence inspected the room.

"There aren't any cameras." I assured her. "Just do it. You've won."

"No, you won the match." Independence shook her head. "I was kicked out of the ring before you fainted."

"Don't toy with me." I deadpanned.

"I'm not." Independence denied.

"Then what are you waiting for?" I silently scowled.

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"What do you think I am doing?" Independence rubbed her chin.

"You are here to murder me." I revealed her motive. "You just said that you've been hired and you have to do your job, right?"

"I am supposed to assassinate you." Independence admitted. "But I am not here for that."

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"Then why are you here?" I pressured her with all of my power.

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"Your sister is returning in a week." Independence handed me a declassified letter. "You should meet her."

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"...Why?"

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"You won against me in the match." Independence got up. "And I am a man of my word."

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Footnotes

(1): Nothing's wrong! After all, murder is a natural human function, right?

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(2): Portland doesn't owe anybody money, she just "borrows" it.

(3): In fact, San Francisco told her in the near future! What a brilliant date to hold up your responsibility!

Wait?

Is INDY returning?!

Is this actually for real?

Are we going to get more Horny Portland?!

Find out like 50 chapters later because I can't write plot!

Anyways, see you next week!