tomorrow is my birthday
It isn't fair.
I shouldn't have crossed into his conscious life. I was greedy. I should have been stronger.
But he made me weak.
He made me greedy.
The first breath I ever took of Grim shoved me into a rut I had no hope of ever getting out of. Maybe I should have stayed away from him altogether. Then I'd never have known what he had. What he could do. How good it could be.
But I didn't.
And now I'm going to die here.
Alone in this rut.
The demon in me is too frail to howl now. My heart can't be any more pinned. I don't even dream anymore. Transient fragments are all I get. A skinny hint of apricot and gunflint. A flash of gold fang. A glimpse of heavily dilated pupils wreathed in green irises as grey as lamb's ear leaves, stealing glances of me in the space between asleep and awake.
A figment of a groan.
The echo of his pulse.
The threadbare memory of him in my throat.
Then nothing.
Not even sleep.
Just nothing.