Okay, I swore to myself that I wouldn't put this up till I finished writing the story. As you can see, that didn't happen. I'm just too excited...the curses of no self-restraint. This is just something I whipped up one day when I thought about Kim and her crush on Jared. I felt she needed more of a life. Enough said. Hint: Italics are what Kim writes in her journal.

Read&Review. I want to know what you guys think :D

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, never will. Let me cry in a corner...*sniffle*

Memoirs of a Crazy

Chapter One:

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kIM'S jOURNAL

dO nOT oPEN oR dANGEROUS cREATURES wILL cOME aT yOU iN tHE nIGHT.
eNTER aT yOUR oWN pERIL.

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tEN rEASONS wHY i lOVE jARED:

10. He waved to me the other day at the mall (ok, fine. It was to a girl behind me. But still, it has to count for something)

9. He is so smart, even when he's not trying to be

8. He's outgoing and talkative (my opposite)

7. He will say whatever is on his mind (assembly last year)

6. He has a deep, to die for voice…

5. His dreamy smile

4. His sense of humor

3. His dark chocolate eyes

2. He just makes my heart want to melt…

1. He is tall, dark, and handsome. My ultimate love.

And we're going to get married one day. He just doesn't know it yet.

Okay, probably not. But still a girl can hope, right? I looked down at the crisp, new notebook and sighed. I must be really desperate to waste trees for him. But he was so worth it. I needed some sort of outlet to express my feelings.

In my defense, I didn't used to be this bad. It all just started out as an innocent crush. Some random infatuation I got in eighth grade.

Then it turned into a free-fall (one-sided of course).

Which became an obsession.

I'm a hopeless case. I re-read the freshly inked pages. Were there any other reasons why I liked him? Probably. I loved everything about the guy I'd barely said two words to. Jared was incredible. I scribbled some more notes down about his wonderful stature. Great, now I feel like a little girl writing in her diary. Except I'm sixteen years old and writing in a composition book I'd filched out of the supply closet in dad's office. Okay, maybe not filched, but close enough.

It's not like they would ever run out of anything. They had enough highlighters for me when I was a kid playing "office."

I began again.

Jared doesn't even know I'm alive actually. He's a junior, I'm a sophomore. He's a jock, I'm a nobody. He's cute, I'm me. I thought I was going to devote this whole journal to him, but I need to at least look like I have a life. *insert laugh*

Wednesday

Calendar dates are stupid, and I never know what they are anyways, so I'm just keeping them out of this.

Third day of school---kill me. I miss summer. (And no, I'm not emo, goth etc. just normal, average joe Kim…I think)

Chemistry was such a bore today. Why do they even teach the subject? It's not like anyone from La Push is going to be a mad scientist or anything. I'll be surprised if anyone even gets to college. Mom started nagging to me about that the other day. She nags to me about everything actually. It's either 'Clean your room, Kim' or go outside and exercise, or quit watching T.V., or go get some friends, you're anti-socialism is killing my rep (just kidding), or anything along those lines.

It's always something.

I'm always doing something wrong. Why can't she just read those "teen moodiness" sites? If she did, she might realize I don't want or feel like doing any of those things. Granted, some of the "help" sections of those sites are complete bogus. I don't say "I'm going to bed," as a cover-up for sneaking out to have a drink with my friends. At least not yet.

See? The fact that I've looked at those sites tells all. I have way too much spare time.

Spare time that I can spend dreaming about Jared.

Maybe she has a point.

Paul came back (or at least that's what Sammie said). I haven't actually seen him yet. He was the only one in our class who had a summer break with heat. No, I don't love him too. When you have a school with less than 100 people in it, you notice everything. This is why I'm keeping my fan girl self in the closet. Sadly, I can't make buttons of Jared's yearbook pictures and attach them to my reliable, tan messenger bag. Though it's a great idea….

Sammie's calling, so I'm signing off. Or leaving. I don't know how to end this...

Friday

I saw Paul yesterday. He's grown, and completely ripped. Texan air must've done him good. Sammie's falling all over herself for him (same with all the other girls). Not me. I already have a lover. Oh, I forgot to tell you journal---if you haven't figured it out already--- Sammie's my BFF.

I must be insane. I'm implying that an inanimate object has feelings. Anyway…

My mom hates her because she accidentally bumped into mother dearest's priceless vase in the third grade. Sammie was showing me her new moves, and sort of got carried away. Honestly, I think my mom needs to get over it. I mean we were eight for crying out loud. But then again, she's one for grudges.

I'm now writing in my English II class, pretending to be dutifully taking notes like everyone else. Haha, I have no idea what Ms. Carrot (actually Carote I think) is saying.

"Kim."

My head jerked up, and I tried not to act surprised. Too late.

"What's the answer?" Ms. Carote asked. I wildly looked behind her head at the board to figure out what we were supposed to be discussing. Some of the popular girls started snickering. For once, the genius Kim is caught.

"The answer is uh…well, you see, it's because…" I stammered, trying to think of something quickly. Were we talking about grammar or the chapters we had to read the other night?

"Gerunds. What's an example?" She helped me out gently. Maybe I should stop making fun of her name…

I breathed in and smiled, "Reading is easy."

A few guys joined in with the mockery that was coming from the back. Great, now I'd be the laughing stock of the whole period for the next semester. Why were we even talking about gerunds anyways? We all covered this last year. It was probably because those dopes "forgot" about them and were trying to hold up class. Typical. It was a wide-known fact that Ms. Carote was the easiest teacher to divert due to her tendency to over-talk herself.

I let my hair fall down to hide my face and stared at my desk for the remainder of class.

Later

Life sucks, and then we die. My new motto.

Sammie tried talking me into going to the bonfire tonight, but I didn't want to. It's just an excuse for everyone to get as drunk and high as possible with the Forks kids. I'm now lying in my bed dreaming about all the ways I can get Jared's attention.

The bend and snap? The homework excuse? Studying group?

What's that tapping noise?

I put down my ballpoint pen and warily inched forward to the dark shadow filling up my bedroom window.

It was Sammie. She was glammed up for a night on the beach, and seemed to be holding a tote bag towards me. No. I was not going. She couldn't make me. I…

"You look great, Kimmy!" How did I get into this? Right, peer pressure. I glanced at the mirror and shuddered. My wispy black hair was all frizzy and my russet skin looked as pale as a vampire's. No way was I going to go to First Beach like this.

"Liar, let's just go and get this over with." I said, trying to keep the grimace out of my voice. Sammie noticed as always, and just rolled her eyes.

"You act like you're a martyr."

"I am. You put heels on me, that's all the proof I need." She thought my pain was amusing apparently. The one thing I couldn't stand was wearing anything with height.

"You could just take them off," Sammie pointed out. Oh, I thought I would hurt her feelings if I did. Guess not. I quickly traded the evil shoes for flats and we were off. My parents were on a date night, so I wouldn't have any "you're grounded" problems. Then again, it would be a pleasant change…

Jared was there.

My breathing automatically accelerated as we stepped onto the rocky sand. This could be the night. I might be able to finally stutter some words to him. Sammie gave me a knowing look and went to grab us some drinks. I stood like an idiot. Now what was I supposed to do?

It didn't matter. My world stopped when a girl pranced over to him and gave my Jared a huge kiss on the cheek. I squinted to see who it was. Annie was now his new trophy. Why couldn't it be Jess or Becca, the usual one-weekers? Why was fate being so cruel?

I couldn't even bring myself to berate the girl or even curse her name. Annie wasn't snobby, or mean. I had nothing against her---she had never done anything to me. I even remembered that she helped me pick up my books when some jerk "accidentally" shoved me last year.

Jared shouldn't be with her. He didn't deserve her. She was too good for him. He deserved me and only me. Nothing but the best in my opinion.

My very, humble opinion, mind you.

"Here," Sammie passed me an opened Coke can. Without even thinking, I took a huge sip, trying to drown my love woes out.

Bad idea. The liquid was too sweet, and my nose was burning with the smell of rubbing alcohol. What the heck?

"What is it?" I asked, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. She shrugged and took another sip, totally in her "I'm so cool cause I'm trying to be bad" mode.

"It's rum in coke, Kim," she smirked.

And that's how my night went, journal. I quickly went to find a water bottle, trying to ignore the fact that I had officially taken my first sip of alcohol ever---unsupervised. Sure, there was the occasional wine during the holidays, but that didn't count. Am I total loser?

I can't tell anymore.

Excuse the spelling mistakes, I beta myself...haha. This will be a very slow moving story, since now I'm juggling it and BTBW (my other werewolf story..check it out :D ) I do have some more written, so if there are any responses, it will motivate me to post. Oh, and Jared has not turned....yet.

....review?.....