Chapter 2: Summer wasn't what anyone expected
It made Harry all warm inside when three owls arrived with cards and letters from his friends in the night just as it turned his birthday. He'd received two phone calls from Hermione so far during the holidays, either side of her going abroad with her parents, but it was nice to get a birthday letter and a broom servicing kit from her on his birthday. He also received a card and rock cakes from Hagrid. His birthday greetings were accompanied by his third year Hogwarts letter. He wasn't expecting anything from Ron given he was in Egypt, whatever Ron had said on the phone.
Harry listened carefully and he could make out the sounds of his cousin letting an owl into his room too. Harry wondered briefly if the school or its staff knew to owl them in the night to avoid Vernon, or whether it was more by good luck than good management.
Next morning at breakfast, it was unfortunate that Vernon was there. Harry wished his birthday wasn't on a Saturday - Vernon would be around all day - but it couldn't be helped. Harry was gratified when Dudley came downstairs and wished him Happy Birthday in front of his parents. This prompted Petunia to also wish him a happy birthday too. There was silence from behind Vernon's newspaper.
The silence continued awkwardly until Vernon announced, "I'd better be off in a minute, Petunia, Marge's train gets in at ten."
"Pardon?!" said Petunia, "I thought you'd put your sister's visit off until after the boys returned to H... school?" Petunia sounded concerned, frightened even, as well she might. She'd spent a number of nights recently talking to Vernon until the early hours, persuading him that he couldn't invite Marge here, not with Dudley being a wizard. Vernon had agreed. But he'd lied! He'd ignored her and invited his sister anyway. Damn the man!
"My sister is welcome whenever she wants, and nothing will dissuade me of that!" Vernon snapped.
"Of course she's welcome, dear, but are you sure it's well, the best time?" asked Petunia gently.
"Any time is the best time," replied Vernon, but there was a malicious look in his eye, one that indicated he knew exactly what he was doing.
Vernon stomped out of the kitchen and they heard him collect the car keys and slam the door behind him. There was silence in the kitchen.
"Oh, shit!" whispered Harry quietly. Petunia didn't remark on his language. The phrase she was thinking wasn't half as polite.
Dudley, for something to do to lessen the tension, turned on the television. There was an article about an escaped mass murderer. None of them thought that half as terrifying as the fact that Vernon would be back in an hour with Marge.
For ten minutes no-one spoke. They were all running through their own personal nightmare scenarios. Petunia wondered what the hell would happen when Marge discovered Dudley was a wizard. Would she screech about it loud for all the neighbours to hear? Then what would happen to their quiet suburban lives when the boys returned to school? They'd be social pariahs.
Dudley was wondering if his easy source of income would dry up - all those unsavoury hugs at least procured him cash.
Harry wondered if she'd be bringing the damn dog.
Petunia cleared her throat. "Here's how it's going to go: Duddikins, act like you normally do. We pretend you're attending Smeltings, I don't think she knows any different. Harry, stay out of the way as much as you can. Hopefully she'll only be here for under a week. You're both going to spend a lot of time at the cinema, swimming pool, park and shopping centre. Stay. Out. Of. Her. Way."
"Yes, but..." started Harry, not to be argumentative, but seeing the real possibilities ahead.
"No buts. Remain calm, don't antagonise her. Agree with whatever she says, or at least don't answer back. And I will persuade her to leave earlier than usual. Please," said Petunia.
"But..." started Dudley.
"Just do it, Dudley," said Petunia quietly. Her eyes spoke volumes. Dudley was suddenly a lot more concerned.
"Yes, mum."
"Good. Now, the pair of you, do the dishes while I prepare a bed in the spare room for her."
There was an agonising wait until they heard the car tyres in the driveway. And barking.
"Oh, God," said Harry, in fervent prayer to any deity listening that that wasn't Marge's dog. His prayers went unheeded when Vernon opened the front door carrying in Marge's case and Ripper came scurrying past his legs. Harry made a run for upstairs, deciding that until he could get out of the house and go to the cinema as planned he would stay out of the way. No such luck!
"Boy, take Marge's case up to her room, then come straight back down," said Vernon in tones that brooked no nonsense.
"I'm sure after that the boys could briefly say hello and then they were planning to go to the cinema for the morning," interjected Petunia, in the hopes of defusing a situation before it arose.
"Nonsense!" boomed Marge, "I was planning on catching up with my neffy poo!" she opened her arms to give Dudley a hug, which he did and came from away with a crisp tenner. Harry rolled his eyes at her blatancy, but grabbed the case, all the while trying to avoid Ripper.
When Harry got back downstairs, Marge was ensconced on the sofa and Petunia was bringing her a cup of tea.
"So, how was your second year at Smeltings, Dudders?" Marge enquired.
"Er..." said Dudley, unsure of how to proceed.
"Such eloquence!" she ribbed, "Got up to plenty of things you're not going to talk about in front of your parents, I'll bet!" she said with a conspiratorial wink. "You'll have to tell me a few juicy tidbits when your father's not in earshot!"
She then noticed Harry who'd tried to remain unobtrusive by the door.
"You boy! Still at St. Brutus'? I can't imagine you've improved."
"Er..." said Harry, and on seeing Vernon nodding at him he added, "Yes. St. Brutus's."
"I can see why you needed to send him there, Vernon, definitely criminally incurable, that one!"
"But..." Dudley started to speak.
"Later, Sweetums," said Petunia quickly and meaningfully. Dudley subsided. But Marge wasn't finished.
"Don't defend your good-for-nothing cousin, Dudders. He'll never turn out as well as he should. You know what they say about apples not falling far from the tree."
Harry ground his teeth, but with look of desperation from Petunia kept his mouth shut.
"That school's what he needs. And a daily thrashing just on principle, I'd say! Vernon, you should try that - a hiding before breakfast every day would set him straight during the holidays!"
"I'll keep that idea under advisement," said Vernon, with a satisfactory smirk at the other members of his household.
It was going to be a long week, Harry thought.
It was a few days after news of Sirius Black's escape that found Severus Snape in the apothecary in Knockturn Alley. Severus had been angry for four days now. Incensed. Black had escaped. Only Merlin knew how! There were Dementors there! And the whole of the North Sea around it! Azkaban scared Severus. He knew how close he'd been, if not for Albus vouching for him. He thought of Sirius Black and the day he was captured and thrown in prison. What was the muggle phrase? There but for the grace of God... or Albus Dumbledore in his case.
He brought his mind back to the present. He was shopping for a few special ingredients. This shop was one of his favourites. It didn't sell contraband. It wasn't in any way illegal or nefarious. It was run by a perfectly respectable and above-board Welshman, but the shop sold very exquisite things. Rare items, for interesting potions. Interesting in a sense covered an awful lot. Severus used rare and hard-to-get ingredients in some of his finest potions. He was a potions master, and some of what he brewed was sought after the world over, and very rare, and in some cases he needed rare and expensive ingredients. So he came here.
He also knew others came here for the lack of questions asked about the use of the ingredients they bought. Nothing was written down about customer accounts. Anyone bought anything for cash. Myrddin didn't ask about his customers and didn't want to know. But he knew who his customers were and if they were above board he chatted with them about this and that, especially potions. He had a love for potions that even Severus respected.
Severus was examining a jar of rare salamander eyes when the bell above the shop door rang to indicate another customer had entered.
"Good morning, Myrddin! It's been years since I've seen you! I'm glad you and your shop are still here. How are you keeping?" asked the newcomer. Snape couldn't see the door or the counter from where he was, but he heard the voice. He knew that voice. It would come to him in a second.
"Ah! It has indeed been a while! Your usual?" asked Myrddin.
Interesting, thought Severus. Myrddin did not use the customer's name. He was obviously a customer who had frequented the shop often enough to be known, but not for a long while, given the greeting. And from the lack of his name being used, there was some secrecy over either him or his purchase. Yet Severus knew that voice! Damn it, he knew! He edged closer to the counter to try to get a look at the customer, but the man had his head covered under a hood. Myrddin had disappeared into the back and returned with a number of vials. Severus couldn't identify the contents from just looking at them.
Myrddin looked at the customer and then glanced over to where Severus was. Myrddin clearly knew Severus was in the shop somewhere and was indicating to the customer that there were other people around privy to their conversation.
"Ah, I've brought you a few vials, you've heard I suppose?"
"Heard what?" asked the man. Severus was wracking his brain, if only he could place that voice. It screamed at him, but no... nothing yet.
"This will be restricted soon, as will one or two of the ingredients in it, you know, the ones that are only used in this, generally speaking."
"WHAT?!" shouted the man, panicked momentarily. "My apologies, I didn't mean to... I... restricted?!" he said in calmer tones.
"The ministry. There's a new bill coming in soon. Umbridge is writing it."
"But she's the head of the Improper Use of Magic, isn't she? What's that got to do with, well, this?" asked the man.
"She is, but everyone's got their hobbies, and it would seem hers is prejudice and self-promotion. I'd hate to see where she gets to in a couple of years. It's been in a few issues of the Daily Prophet for a while, I'd go find a couple of back issues if I were you. I'm happy to still sell it to you in the future, don't get me wrong, but it'll be restricted and I'll have produce a report, you know. I'm not about to get into trouble, even though I do have premises in Knockturn."
"I know, it's fine, I'll see about... I don't know..." The man sounded flustered, it obviously wasn't news he wanted to hear or had contingency plans for.
"Look," said Myrddin, "While the bill hasn't been passed I can still sell it. Here's what I've got in stock now, that's enough for three months, and I'll get hold of another three months' worth. I can give you it on account. Nothing written down, mind. I remember a face. You can stasis this potion, but only for up to six months, so I'm sorry, I can't provide more easily unless the bill is delayed. I should be able to get hold of that much though."
They completed the transaction and the stranger turned to leave the shop. Unfortunately for Severus he turned away from him and Severus still couldn't see the man's face. He was nearly out of the door when Myrddin called after him.
"Where can I contact you to let you know I've got some more in?"
"Hogwarts," the stranger replied, and the door closed behind him.
Hogwarts?! Thought Severus. Who the hell is he? It certainly wasn't Filius or Dumbledore. Had Albus appointed a new DADA teacher? Was that him? What bill was being passed? Severus thought for a while. He knew not to ask Myrddin, he was far too respecting, rightly, of his customers' privacy. The only thing he could think of was Hagrid complaining about Umbridge's creature law ideas. She'd been harping on for most of last year, and they'd all had to listen to Hagrid complaining about her bias against half breeds and goblins. Not that Severus in any way agreed with the woman, but listening to Hagrid go on about it had been hard. Even Filius, patient to the last, had got tired of listening. She'd write her articles and they'd be published word for word in the Daily Prophet. She must know one of the editors to get away with that kind of inflammatory content. She'd insulted every creature there was, from dragons to werewolves... Snape paused mid thought. He blinked. Damn! What the hell was Remus Lupin doing at Hogwarts?! Bloody Black again, that's what it was!
Albus was going to explain what was going on if it was the last thing he did. Severus left the shop empty handed with barely a nod to Myrddin. He apparated to the edge of Hogwart's grounds fully intent of chewing a strip off Dumbledore.
Albus looked up from his paperwork as he heard a knock at his office door.
"Come in!" he called.
Remus Lupin walked into Dumbledore's office.
"Welcome back! You look well," said Albus, by way of greeting.
"It's good to be back," agreed Lupin, "You looked surprised to see me. I owled to say I would here this afternoon when you asked me to come."
"Oh, not at all my boy, I was just half expecting someone else. It seems the grapevine isn't as quick as I thought around here. But no matter, nothing of concern for you. Have you settled into the rooms we've got you?"
"Yes, thank you, headmaster, the house-elves are as efficient as always. It's quite strange to be back. It seems so empty."
"School holidays. I get quite a shock every year when the great hall fills up on September the first. The calm during the summer is very peaceful. It will give you a chance to look around and revisit memories I'm sure," Dumbledore said, and then instantly looked like he wanted to take that sentence back. "I'm sorry, Remus, that didn't come out very well."
Lupin sighed. "No, no need to apologise. I suppose that's why I'm here. But you're right, it will certainly feel emptier. No James, no Peter, and Black... it's hard to believe..." he trailed off.
"Remus, take the rest of today and tomorrow to get your bearings and settle in, and then we'll have a meeting. In part to make sure school security is up to par and in part to discuss how best to protect everyone from Black. I'll invite a couple of the old Order and make sure the Auror department sends someone. Minerva, Filius and Severus are also on the premises. They'll be here too." Albus hoped that one of the aforementioned names would go unnoticed for now. He really didn't want to have that conversation straight away. He nearly didn't mention his potion's master, but that would be been deliberately deceiving and he needed everyone to be open given the danger posed from Black.
"Severus? Severus Snape?" demanded Remus in tones that suggested he would like nothing more than to hear it was his own imagination running wild.
Albus sighed. "Remus, Severus is Potions' Master here. I thought you knew I appointed him back then. It was a suitable position to enable him to spy. He remained here. The best potions professor Hogwarts has seen in decades. He is Head of Slytherin House. And in the interests of full disclosure, Harry Potter was sorted into Slytherin."
Remus did a very good impression of a fish. He didn't know which bit of that to deal with first. He ended up going for Harry in Slytherin.
"But families, James... Lily... Gryffindor," was all that came out.
"And Harry is in Slytherin. I will also have you know that Severus and Harry are cordial with each other. Severus has been a good Head of House for him."
"Like hell he is!"
"Remus!" said Albus, more sharply than he would have liked.
Lupin's brain heard headmaster harmonics and looked abashed. "Sorry, headmaster," he said, his mouth on autopilot. "But he's ... you know how he was... all into the darker side of magic, you know who he was friends with, you know there was a trial. You know the rumours. How on earth is he your Potions professor?!"
"If you promise to listen without too many interruptions, I will explain a number of things, including what happened last year with Harry, and a few things that I think you know but haven't considered. Perhaps then you will understand," said Albus.
Albus then gave Remus and highly edited and brief outline of Dudley becoming a wizard and coming to Hogwarts, Harry's resorting at Severus' behest, Dudley and Harry not seeing eye to eye (but with no details), Snape supporting Harry, Dudley being taken into the Chamber (Albus glossed over the diary), Harry going to rescue him and there currently being an entente of sorts reached in the Dursley household.
Jones reported to him weekly after his meetings, as well as keeping Severus informed, so they were aware of how it was faring for the boys at Privet Drive. He didn't mention the Healer to Remus.
"But Severus?! But he's Snape! How can you trust him with young impressionable minds?!" said Remus, Albus fixed him with a look. And there was no twinkle.
"Do not let your past history with the man confuse you with who he is today, Remus," said Albus. Remus looked very unsure of this statement. "I said I would explain a few further things, and I will, but you must listen," Dumbledore added.
"We are all products of our own experiences and memories. Severus is no exception," started Dumbledore.
"You aren't selling this well," said Remus. Albus raised an eyebrow, and Remus backed off.
"What do you really know about Severus?"
"He was a complete git," said Remus with feeling.
"No, that was how you saw him. I asked you what you really knew of him. Did you ever see him with Lily Potter when you and yours we're after him? Did you ever just watch him without the need to bully him?"
"Bully?! He was always snarky, interested in dark arts, dark potions. He was a studious know-it-all about those things even back then. He gave as good as he got. I wouldn't say bullied, thank you. He knew more dark magic as a second year than most seventh years know!"
"And did you see him with Lily?" asked Albus, ignoring that comment for the moment.
"He called her a mud-blood! How is that in any way a kind, thoughtful, caring human being?"
"Do you remember their friendship before that day?" asked Albus. "I do. They were friends. It could have been more I think, but for James chasing Lily around non-stop, and what Severus said that day. He never took the hint, didn't James. She wasn't interested in him, but James wouldn't let it go. Was it because he wanted Lily or was it that James and Black couldn't let Severus have anything without trying to take it away from him?"
"He gave as good as he got!" retorted Remus, but with a hint of defence in his voice. His friends had not been that bad. They hadn't!
"Yes," agreed Albus, "And usually in revenge or as a pre-emptive strike. I remember that day after your exams. 'Because you were bored' you all said. I'd call it unnecessarily cruel. In hindsight, I regret not doing more that day. Perhaps if I'd dealt with you all a lot more harshly, relationships would have been mended. The world could have been much different if that day hadn't happened how it did," said Albus sadly.
"How do you mean?" asked Remus, confused.
"As I said, we are all the sum of our experiences. On that day, Severus and Lily stopped being friends. The only other acquaintances he had were not the best influence, he was limited to those in Slytherin, and you know how it was back then, just look at the likes of Regulus or Lucius. He was led astray. He came to his senses, sooner than most I hasten to add, and has worked tirelessly for the Light since, fortunately for us with the ability to spy on the Dark. When there was the hearing after he was accused a Death Eater, as is a matter of record, I vouched for his actions. He is truly on our side, Remus, and he has never, ever, fully been on theirs. There were moments, I grant you, when he would have considered the beliefs of the other side and seen them in the light that they were meant to be seen. Voldemort's propaganda and rise to power were impressive. But I ask you, if his friendship with Lily hadn't broken off, which, can be traced back to actions that day, how different would things have been? Would James and Lily have even been together? Would Severus have remained at least friends with Lily? Would he have been led towards the dark? Would he have been a spy for us? Ultimately, would Voldemort have gone after and killed the Potters? Is there some alternate reality where Severus and Lily died because Voldemort went after them instead of James marrying Lily. Every action has a consequence and some are more far reaching than others."
"That is a lot of could haves and would haves, Headmaster. You might as well have asked what would have happened if I hadn't been bitten," said Remus.
"Yes, it is a lot of conjecture, but my scenario focuses on you and Severus because you are going to be staying in the same castle for the foreseeable future and I need you to work together. You were always the calmest of the marauders, Remus, and I need you to think about how you're going to work with Severus. You know, that's why I made you a prefect. It was my hope you could exert some pressure on the rest of your group to behave and promote at least a little house unity."
"It seems neither of us did a good job of reigning James and Black in then," said Remus, "And my penalty for that is that I now have to stay here with Severus for company, is it?"
"No, your penalty for that is to actually think about how your actions and the actions of your friends affected lives. Then you have to work with Severus until Black is captured. You could claim that that was then and this is now and you've all grown up, but think what it's like for Severus. I reiterate, think of how little choice he had after that day, and the only paths available to him. You were not in Slytherin. You were in Gryffindor. But Slytherin, and its politics and its money... Severus was a non-wealthy half-blood, with an aptitude for the darker side of life. His choices were very limited in that house, at that time. Your mistakes and unwillingness to bring your friends into line ruined a friendship, and I as headmaster should have done a lot more that day to stop the hate festering."
"You want me to make friends with him? To apologise?" asked Remus incredulously.
"No, I want you to do what you feel is right," there was a pause. "It seems like we went down a much deeper and more meaningful route of conversation than I was planning, Remus. Go, enjoy the evening, get settled in, and I will see you tomorrow, I'm sure."
Remus took his words for the dismissal they were, and left Albus' office with a little thinking to do.
Severus was irate. He knew it, and he knew he needed to calm down. He'd apparated back to Hogwarts and had, by a whisker, refrained from marching straight up to Dumbledore's office and screamed at him. Self-preservation had taken over and explained the folly that would lie in those actions. So he was pacing his quarters.
Of all the irresponsible, imbecilic things... the silly old coot had invited a marauder to stay to catch another marauder. Had Albus finally gone senile?!
Severus reached for a potions magazine from his shelves, they always calmed him down. He sat in his favourite leather armchair and flicked through it, the latest copy of Potions Monthly. New method of gathering dragonfly wings... Latest strain of orchid found in the Andes... Increased storage time of calming draught due to additives... What was this?! Snape peered at an article more carefully...Increased potency of Wolfsbane due to ingredient alterations?! Snape read the article, tutting throughout. It was pure drivel. The editor had only given the potioneer four out of ten saying that this was a limited solution and unlikely to be effective. And that it was only being given page room due to the likelihood of the Restrictions of Sales bill including Wolfsbane that would be brought out in the near future. Merlin, but Umbridge was a complete busybody bitch!
Severus threw the magazine at the wall angrily. Could he not escape his thoughts for just ten minutes?!
Seeing as reading wasn't helping, he chose to do breathing exercises and calmly file away his thoughts and conversation from the day so that they wouldn't keep invading his mind. He analysed, amongst his other thoughts, the conversation he'd overheard between Lupin and Myrddin. Something about it caught his attention the second time through. It took him a moment to decide what it was. It was fear. The werewolf was scared. He'd heard it in his voice. The terror of not being able to get hold of the potion.
Severus, as Potions Master, knew the details of the Wolfsbane potion, its ingredients, instability, expense, effects and side effects. Due to its delicacy, he'd had to study it during his Mastery, and he'd appreciated it as a potion, but it'd always been tainted with who he knew was a werewolf. It was nice to know that the wolf was scared of something.
But the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't get past the fact that Lupin was a werewolf through no choice of his own, and needed that potion to be human. And he was scared of not being human. Severus could understand that. Keeping one foot in reality and feeling human were things he'd found difficult sometimes in those couple of miserable years working for Voldemort's cause before his conscience had finally given him a solid kick. It hadn't been as glamorous as the propaganda had had him believe, and there were many things he'd been told to do that he'd tried to avoid. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Being human was a precious thing.
So Severus came to a decision. He picked the article back up, scanned it and sneered, however the premise had some promise, if not the execution. He went to work in his lab. Being Potions Master had its upsides, especially here at Hogwarts. Albus gave him access to any ingredients he wanted. One of the ingredients in his personal inventory was Aconite. Time to get to work.
Severus missed dinner, but he didn't particularly notice. When he was concentrating in his lab, very little disturbed him. It was much later that evening when he summoned a house elf to enquire of the location of Lupin's quarters, then, hiding the improved potion in his robes, he quietly made his way through the school. He leaned his ear to Lupin's door, and hearing no-one inside, slipped in and deposited the labelled vial on the coffee table and slipped out. He certainly didn't want Lupin to know he was the benefactor or, he thought with a smirk, that Lupin was in fact, his lab rat. He certainly wasn't in any way holding out an olive branch. That would be a ludicrous suggestion.
Next morning at breakfast (the few staff that stayed at Hogwarts over the holiday for various reasons usually ate breakfast together in the great hall, even if they took other meals in their quarters), Severus had his first proper view of Remus Lupin in over ten years. The man looked older and careworn, much the same way Severus presumed he himself had aged - faster than he should for his years.
Severus was one of the first down for breakfast, and Lupin one of the last.
"Good morning, Everyone!" said Lupin. There were various nods and greetings from around the table as Albus introduced Lupin to everyone, or reintroduced as the case may be. There was only Charity Burbage that Lupin hadn't met before. Filius, although he was supposed to be away with his family, had come for the meeting about Black, and Minerva clearly remembered one of her Lions. Hagrid gave Lupin a warm, friendly nod and a handshake that must have nearly dislocated the werewolf's wrist, and Filch just gave him a tight nod. Severus was last to be greeted by Lupin.
"Severus," said Lupin quietly.
"Lupin," replied Severus neutrally, not intending to entertain the notion of camaraderie.
Lupin opened his mouth and looked like he was about to say something else, but shut it again.
"I'm sure you're glad to be back! You'll fit right in in no time," said Albus, pretending to not notice the awkwardness of the interaction.
Lupin sat down quietly in the chair Albus indicated next to himself. Severus heard Lupin lean towards Albus and whisper.
"Headmaster, thank you for the vials of W... um... well, thank you," said Lupin, obviously not wanting to mention certain words in company.
Albus glanced over in mild surprise towards Severus and got a flat look in return, one that said, 'Don't say it was me'.
"Quite alright, my boy, quite alright," said Dumbledore in reply, with a twinkle and knowing look aimed at Severus, who just scowled murderously.
Life at Privet Drive had gone from bearable and, if Harry were honest, as good as it had ever been, quickly downhill to absolutely awful. Marge was a nightmare. As usual, every chance she got she insulted Harry and everything about him: his attitude, his intelligence, his looks, his ability to do chores, anything she could think of.
Harry's birthday had gone from starting out as the best one ever, to ranking as one of the worst. And the days had got worse from there. Marge had now been staying for a whole week. Harry was surprised he'd lasted this long without doing something precipitous, except that at every turn Petunia and Dudley had attempted to stave off Marge. It was subtle things, like Petunia sending Harry outside or upstairs to do a non-existent chore just to get him out of the room, or Dudley rushing to show her his latest toy/game/anything he could think of just to distract her. But there was a limit to how often this could happen before she'd catch him alone and really lay into him. Or worse, with just Vernon around to egg her on.
It was Friday night. Vernon had come home from work a little later than usual, having stopped off for a pint in the pub with a few colleagues from Grunnings. Petunia and Dudley were in the kitchen, Petunia making dinner and Dudley 'helping', otherwise known as getting in the way and trying to snaffle snacks. Harry was in the living room setting the dining table.
Harry didn't notice that it was only him and Vernon in the room, Vernon watching television with a second pint in his hand. He was too busy setting the table to notice Marge and Ripper come into the room. There was a clatter from in the kitchen and then a squeal. Harry looked up sharply towards the kitchen door, but went back to laying the table on hearing Petunia.
"Oh, Sweetums! Are you OK? That will have been hot. I did tell you not to try to pick bits out of the pan that I'm cooking in. Now look, it's all over the floor, and you've burnt your fingers. Go stick your hand under the cold tap while I pick up this mess!" she said in exasperated tones.
There were sounds of running water that effectively drowned out anything said in the kitchen, and conversely, anything said in the living room for the next five minutes.
"Finally doing something useful then, boy!" said Marge snidely, eyeing him setting the table, conveniently forgetting he'd mowed the lawns that day already, "You're lucky my brother gives you house room, you ungrateful wretch!"
Harry concentrated on setting the table, 'Knife on the right, fork on the left, knife on the right, fork on the left he repeated in his own head. But it wasn't enough to drown her out.
"Taking food off the plate of my nephew! I do like to see a healthy sized boy, not some scrawny wretch that should have been put down at birth!"
Vernon had stopped paying attention to the television and was instead enjoying watching Marge rip into Harry. He took a swig from his glass and grinned.
"A runt, that's what you are, except that there's only one of you. I suppose your parents wouldn't have wanted any more if you're what they produced the first time," she said nastily, edging closer to Harry, Ripper at her heels, growling menacingly.
'Quidditch, broomstick, Hogwarts, Ron, Hermione, the twins', Harry tried to think of anything or anyone that could make him not hear Marge's words.
"It all comes down to blood. Bad blood will out. Now, I'm saying nothing against your family, Vernon," she turned to her brother and gave him a quick smirk, "But your Petunia's sister was a bad egg. They turn up in the best families. Then she ran off with a wastrel and here's the result right in front of us."
Harry was staring at the fork in his hand, thinking it was a good job it wasn't a knife, a funny ringing in his ears. 'Quidditch, quidditch, quidditch' he thought, but Aunt Marge's voice seemed to be boring into him like one of Uncle Vernon's drills.
"This Potter," said Aunt Marge loudly, seizing one of the dessert spoons and rapping it repeatedly on the table, "You never told me what he did, Vernon?"
"He didn't work," said Vernon, with half a glance at Harry. "Unemployed." He took another swig from his glass. He was enjoying this immensely.
"As I expected!" said Aunt Marge, finally putting the spoon down. "A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger who..."
"He was not," said Harry suddenly. The room went very quiet. The tap had stopped running in the kitchen just at that moment too. Harry was shaking all over. He had never felt so angry in his life.
"Petunia! Is dinner ready?" yelled Uncle Vernon, who had gone red with anger at Harry interrupting Marge. He emptied his glass in one gulp. "You, boy," he snarled at Harry. "Go to your room."
"No, Vernon," said Aunt Marge, holding up a hand, her tiny eyes fixed on Harry's. "Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are you? They go and get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk, I expect)."
"They didn't die in a car crash!" said Harry, who found himself nose to nose with Vernon's sister.
"They died in a car crash, you nasty little liar, and left you to be a burden on their decent, hardworking relatives!" screamed Marge, swelling with fury. "You are an insolent, ungrateful little..."
But Aunt Marge suddenly stopped speaking. As Marge blew up like a balloon, Harry raced from the room. He ran upstairs and grabbed his wand, trunk and Hedwig and ran down to the front door. Vernon had got out of his chair and was alternating between trying to ineffectually help Marge or attempt to stop Harry. Harry ran.
He got as far as Magnolia Crescent and had collapsed against a wall breathing heavily when he heard footsteps and wheezing behind him.
"Dudley?" said Harry.
"What the hell are you doing?" asked Dudley harshly, except it came out as, "What (pant) the hell (pant) are you (pant, pant) doing? (wheeze)"
"What's it look like?" snapped Harry. "I've had it up to here", he said, indicated over his head with his wand hand. "She's just a nasty, vindictive bitch. What the hell did I ever do to her? I'm going to Diagon Alley for the rest of the holiday."
"So you're going to let her get away with it?" asked Dudley. "You're going to leave me behind with Dad? You're going to just bugger off? Where's your Gryffindor?"
"In case you forgot, I'm a Slytherin. I'm avoiding unnecessary conflict, moron," said Harry testily, although the comment about leaving Dudley with Vernon had registered enough to make him feel guilty.
"Harry, please. Don't go," pleaded Dudley.
"Why?" asked Harry. "You'd be better off without me. Marge will get fixed and hopefully have her memory altered, and then you'll be treated like a prince for a month."
There was a long pause and Dudley looked awkward.
"Because Dad's not right. He's different. He still scares me a bit," admitted Dudley, flushing slightly. "And what if he mentions the w-word around Marge? Or even if he doesn't, there's a few times this week when he's been off with me and Marge noticed. I do not want to be on the receiving end of that!"
"What, like I just was?" said Harry nastily.
"Um. Yeah. That," said Dudley. "Please?"
There was silence between them for a full minute while Harry thought.
"He's going to go spare."
"I'll get you upstairs, mum will stop him following us, and hopefully the Ministry will come and sort out Aunt Marge and perhaps even obliviate Dad at the same time," said Dudley, reaching down for Harry's trunk with a questioning expression.
Harry sighed and nodded. The two boys headed back to Privet Drive. A pair of eyes in a nearby hedgerow watched them go.