Chapter 4: Snape's Visit
Dolores Umbridge was humming to herself when there was a knock on her office door as she was just penning the last touches to the letter she was writing to Corban Yaxley. She'd thought long and hard about who to send to the Dursley residence. She'd considered going herself except that she'd informed its residents she'd be sending someone else. She'd taken a look at the employees in the Magical Law Enforcement department, of which her office was a part, and had chosen a person who she felt saw the world in a similar way to herself. He would have no problem with laying down the law with Potter and Dursley. It wasn't like she was going to send someone like that idiot Weasley - he'd probably give them tea and cakes instead of the strong arm of the law.
"Come in," she said, as she sealed the letter in an envelope.
"Good evening, Dolores," said Severus warmly.
"What do you want? If Dumbledore sent you to plead on behalf of those ill-disciplined louts, you can leave straight away!" she snapped, although she became momentarily wary of Professor Snape, his dark robes and height cutting an imposing figure even though he was only standing in her doorway.
"On the contrary, Madam, I was coming to congratulate you," he replied, sounding sincere.
"Congratulate me?" she queried.
"Finally, someone has decided to make the Boy-Who-Lived into the Boy-Who-Was-Sounded-Punished." said Snape.
"You have spoken to Dumbledore," she said. It was more a statement than it was a question.
The corners of Severus' mouth twitched upwards, "He came back in a rare mood. He demanded that we find a way to thwart your punishment of the boys. I'm just glad that someone is taking them in hand. If only I'd had the option of caning them last year, but you know what Albus is like - too soft with the students. A good thrashing would have sorted them out before it was allowed to get this far. I'm only disappointed that it is not me who gets to... educate... them."
Delores looked down at the envelope in her hand. She was about to owl Yaxley to send him to Privet Drive. But if there was a volunteer... She'd heard a number of good things about Snape's tenure as Potions Master at Hogwarts. The students certainly respected him. She was aware of his style of punishments too. There was more than one ministry employee who'd been in Slytherin under Snape who hinted at the severity of the house master.
And the fact that he was here, congratulating her... she felt quite elated that she'd managed to impress the professor if truth be known.
"Then perhaps, Severus, I can grant you your wish," she replied with a smile, throwing the letter into the fire.
Harry and Dudley were sitting numbly on the couch in the living room when there was a knock at the door. The carriage clock on the mantelpiece had chimed 8pm not too long ago, the chimes startling them with the room so quiet. Petunia had convinced Vernon to go to the pub with a few of the 'lads' from Grunnings, but she had also extracted a promise from him not to have more than two more pints. He agreed and said he'd be home when they called time. Harry and Dudley had both picked at the dinner Petunia had finished making, but weren't hungry. Marge hadn't made a sound other than a few soft snores. Petunia rose from her favourite chair to answer the door. The boys' eyes watched her go.
"We're dead," whispered Dudley.
"So dead," agreed Harry. They listened to the noises in the hall.
They heard a voice on the doorstep, "Good evening, Petunia."
Snape?! Harry thought. Why is Snape here? Well, it's not entirely out of character for the man. He came last summer after the incident too, but he certainly wasn't who Harry was expecting. Harry hoped he wouldn't stay when someone from the ministry came, Harry was far too embarrassed about blowing up Marge.
"Severus. Come in," said Petunia by way of greeting. Harry heard the door shut and Petunia led Professor Snape into the living room.
Snape looked at the boys on the couch. It was good to see them together, something he certainly didn't see last summer, but he saw the tension on their faces and the terror he could feel was nearly palpable. He turned to Petunia.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to speak with you alone without the boys listening. Is your husband in?" he asked.
"Vernon is out for the evening and won't be back until after they've gone to bed. Marge is sedated upstairs," Petunia answered. She looked at the boys. "Go upstairs. No eavesdropping." Her tone was clipped, Severus noted, and slightly fearful. It'd clearly been a stressful evening in the Dursley residence.
After the boys had left the room and he'd heard them go upstairs and shut a bedroom door (although only the one door so they were certainly together in one of their rooms), Petunia indicated Severus sit in an armchair. Severus noticed the change in her attitude towards him, and he presumed other magical persons, but he wasn't about to comment.
"I have talked with Dumbledore and Umbridge recently," said Severus as an opening. "I'm aware of what happened here this evening. I presume Marge will be fine?" Petunia nodded. "Good. Hopefully the memory modification is complete. Now, there's no easy way to put this so I'm not going to mince my words. The boys are in trouble. Delores was quite insistent on a harsh punishment." Petunia's lips tightened and her eyes went just a little wider.
"What's going to happen?" she asked with trepidation.
"Delores convinced the Minster to uphold her chosen punishment, over the objection of Dumbledore. You might think this harsh, but the Minister, as do many witches and wizards, sees things a bit differently than muggle parents. In wizarding households children grow up with clear guidelines about how to use and not use magic. They are parented so that magical accidents do not occur as often as they could. Accidental magic due to loss of temper on the part of a child is rare. Children are educated from a very young age that such outbursts are dangerous. In the muggle world, children who punch or kick other children out of anger or frustration because they can't hold their temper and don't have another outlet are 'firmly' discouraged from doing so and are taught different coping mechanisms. It is the same in wizarding households with magic. It is considered that by the time children are eleven or twelve or so they should know better."
These last four words Severus spoke slowly and deliberately. He needed Petunia to understand and to not spurn the wizarding world for what she might see as bullying or harsh treatment of her son. Dumbledore had been quite clear on this point when he'd called Severus into his study on his return from Fudge's office.
"That is one of the reasons Umbridge's penalty is so harsh. The other reason is that she is not a very nice person. Petunia, Dumbledore and I both believe that this is a particularly harsh punishment, too harsh, and I especially have never seen myself as a liberalist. Dumbledore and I both knew we could never convince her to lessen the punishment, however, I could convince her that I was the suitable person to carry out her punishment."
"But you just said..." began Petunia.
"And that is why, if anyone asks, and believe me, this will come up at some point, either with you, or with either of the boys, you must say that her punishment was carried out and that the boys were caned, however what happens in this house this evening will never leave this house. Only Dumbledore knows. I will punish the boys as I think they should be punished. You do not get to disagree with my chosen punishment, else I will tell Umbridge that she should find someone else to do the job, and believe me, you do not want that. Is that clear?"
Severus knew he was riding roughshod over Petunia, but he couldn't let her begin to try to argue. She had to understand the seriousness of the situation. There was silence for a minute while Petunia thought through everything he had said. Eventually she nodded.
"What are you going to do?" she asked. There was no longer fear in her eyes, which Severus saw as a positive sign that she trusted him with the children.
"I'm going to scare the living daylights out of them until they understand that magic is not a suitable outlet for their tempers. Then I'm going to take a ruler to their backsides. They must also understand they cannot mention the change in their punishment. Even to the extent that Harry does not tell his closest friends. Hogwarts is full of rumour, and if that one gets out there will be hell to pay."
Petunia nodded again. "Should I call them down?"
"No need," said Severus neutrally as he cast a spell to be heard upstairs. He spoke in his sternest teacher voice, "Mr. Potter, Mr. Dursley, come into the living room immediately."
When they'd been sent upstairs, Harry and Dudley went into Harry's room and both sat on Harry's bed. They were in their own little worlds of contemplation for a minute before Harry spoke.
"I didn't think it'd work," said Harry.
"You didn't think what would work?" asked Dudley.
"Us," said Harry. "The night before your birthday you came in here and we agreed that we'd give it a go, but I thought it'd go wrong."
"We're about to get caned. I'd call that going wrong," said Dudley with a grimace.
"No, you twit, I mean between us. Marge came and your Dad was how I'd expect, but you and Aunt Petunia stuck with me. I noticed every time you tried to divert her. I should've kept an eye out for her today. I was just thinking about other things. I'm sorry, this is a mess and it's all my fault."
"You weren't the one who pulled your wand on the toad-faced ministry bitch," said Dudley. "I don't think either of us would get called intelligent for what we've done today."
"Yeah, but if I'd kept my head in the first place..."
"Then you'd be Saint The-Boy-Who-Lived then wouldn't you?!" said Dudley caustically but with a hint of humour.
"She wasn't any worse than usual," said Harry, unable to defend his actions.
"Yeah, but this time isn't like a couple of years ago when you didn't have another life to compare it to."
Harry was quiet for a bit. The terror of his impending punishment had made him forget that Umbridge said she'd have them expelled and he'd just remembered. What if this was it? What if these two years of magic were all he got, and he was stuck with ministerial education and Aunt Marge every holiday?! It didn't bear thinking about. And all because he lost his temper. He had royally screwed up this time, and he'd pulled Dudley down with him.
They sat in silence contemplating again.
"Mister Potter, Mr Dursley, come into the living room immediately."
When the boys got back down to the living room, Snape put his well-practiced scowl on and glared at them for an uncomfortably long length of time. Petunia was pale and tight-lipped, sitting in her armchair. Snape pointed at the couch.
"Sit!" he barked. The boys flinched, scurried over to the couch and sat. Even Petunia blinked at his tone.
"I have been sent to carry out your punishments," he said coldly, not wishing to beat about the bush with pleasantries and greetings. "You don't want to know how unhappy this makes me, as I was in the middle of important brewing and was dragged away from my work. Believe me, it does not endear you to me in the slightest." He glared at both the boys who tried to shrink back further into the back of the couch.
"Your punishment has been set at six strokes of the cane." Snape saw Harry swallow hard and watched Dudley's face turn an ashen colour.
"What in Merlin's name were you thinking?!" he snapped, his voice rising to just above comfortable in a living room that size. He loomed over both boys, leaning into where they were sitting and invading their personal space. He'd put on his teaching robes and he knew exactly how intimidating he looked when he loomed. He usually got a squeak out of first years when he did it to them.
Harry licked his lips, wondering whether he should answer, or whether the question had been rhetorical. That problem was solved for him when Snape continued.
"I can only hope that you were acting under a curse or had been possessed! After all you have learnt this year, and all I have tried to drum into the pair of you, why on earth did you think that losing your tempers and resorting to magic was clever?"
"Mr. Potter, do you have anything to say in defence of blowing up your aunt?" he asked harshly.
Harry looked numbly at his head of house. He could see the disappointment etched on the man's face. He studied his trainers.
"At least have the decency to look me in the eye after you've chosen to ignore everything I've taught you this year," Snape hissed. Harry's head shot up. He'd not meant any disrespect. The opposite in fact, he was so embarrassed after everything the man had done for him, he'd caused this evening to end like this. He opened his mouth and shut it three times before any words came out.
"It was an accident. I'm sorry."
"And being sorry helps, does it? You still did it. And believe me, you'll be a lot sorrier in the near future." Harry just sat there numbly. He had nothing to say, no defence. He knew Marge was nasty and horrible, but he also knew she was no worse than usual - this time he hadn't even been snapped at or chased by Ripper. But he'd just lost his temper. Harry dropped his eyes as he felt a tear welling up in them.
"And you!" Snape rounded on Dudley that fast the boy inhaled involuntarily, "You chose to go back upstairs to get your wand, then you pointed it at a ministry employee! Did someone scoop out your brains at some point? Did you not consider that pointing your wand at a ministry official was grounds to get expelled to say the least of getting a damn good hiding?"
"ShewasthreateningHarry," mumbled Dudley.
"You're going to have to speak up!" snapped Snape.
"She was threatening to expel Harry," repeated Dudley.
"So you thought you'd exacerbate the situation by blasting her across the room did you? Very mature of you!" said Snape dripping with sarcasm.
"I didn't mean to do anything, I just wanted her to stop. I didn't think anything would happen," Dudley stammered, attempting to mount a defence.
"No, you didn't think, did you?" said Snape dangerously. "Enough! Neither of you has managed to convince me you acted out of self-defence or to get yourselves out of danger. You acted like two petulant eight year olds. And look where it's got you. Under threat of expulsion, which, by the way, Professor Dumbledore has fought off, although why he bothers, given you both seem quite capable of repeatedly doing things that should get you expelled, I don't know! It's as if you want to be expelled!" Snape watched Harry turn a shade whiter. Dudley just looked at his shoes.
Snape chose to move from scathing to softly menacing. He'd learnt years ago that for some reason, speaking softly at times like this frightened his charges much more than yelling.
"You will be punished. Madam Umbridge has chosen the cane." Snape reached into his robes and withdrew a quill that he transfigured slowly into a cane. It did it slowly, so that the boys could watch the transformation. They were mesmerised. Snape flexed the cane in both hands. He heard Harry whimper and Dudley forgot to breathe.
"Seeing as you are not yet acquainted with this method of punishment, perhaps I should educate you," he said silkily. "I never did anything at school quite so stupid as to be on the receiving end, but I have it on good account from someone who has that it goes like this." While he had been talking he had stepped slowly towards where the boys were sitting, all the while flexing the cane slowly and deliberately. He watched as neither boys' eyes left his hands.
"You hear it whistling through the air a moment before it strikes. You feel it, but it doesn't hurt straight away. There's a moment when you think it's not going to be too bad and then a line of fire erupts all the way across your backside. And it hurts. Excruciatingly so. You're told when you start that getting out of position will mean that stroke doesn't count, and all you want to do is to rub the sting away, and you've got to stay there for the rest."
You could have heard a pin drop in the living room. Snape even had Petunia's undivided attention. Neither boy had done anything but stare at him wide eyed, taking shallow breaths throughout his description. "Then the next stripe lands, just below the first. The wait between the strokes is just long enough for you to really feel the stripe before the next one lands. You get plenty of time to regret stupid decisions while you're being punished." Snape's voice hadn't raised more than a whisper. It sounded conspiratorial almost, as if he was letting them into a little shared secret.
"And when you think your punishment can't get worse, you realise that the final two strokes are designed to make your punishment last beyond the time spent bent over. The last few strokes are always aimed at the join of your bottom and your thighs, the bit of you that makes contact with a chair when you sit. You two certainly won't be sitting for the next few days. And yes, boys, I said days, not hours." This elicited another whimper off Harry, and Dudley started to look positively ill. "Then there's the final stroke. It's laid on across all the other stripes, reigniting the burning fire of the first strokes. Believe me, that hurts like hell. You'd promise anything if only you could stop the interminable pain in your backside. There will be more than just a few tears before bedtime," Snape concluded.
Snape had been leaning down into the boys' space and he stood up suddenly, breaking the tension in the room.
"Stand up!" he barked. The boys got slowly to their feet, if anything closing the distance between each other. Snape was surprised how little time it had taken for them to accept each other - they'd only been home six weeks or so.
Snape placed the cane on the coffee table and contemplated the boys in silence for a moment. He spoke to them softly.
"You should be eternally grateful that Professor Dumbledore and myself both disagree with your punishment. I am not going to cane you for this infraction of the law, and neither is anyone else." He saw the disbelief on their faces as they registered his words and then they sagged in relief. He knew he'd just terrified them. That was the point. He could see the unspoken question they were wanting to ask, yet neither of them had the courage to do so.
"You must understand that to all intents and purposes, I came round here this evening and you were both soundly caned. Umbridge, or anyone else must never know any different. The only people who know any differently are myself, Petunia, Professor Dumbledore and yourselves." Snape looked at Harry in particular as he continued, "You must not, cannot tell your friends, not even Mr. Weasley or Miss Granger. Rumours have a habit of getting out and you have no idea of the consequences of this getting back to Madam Umbridge. Is that clear?" Both boys nodded.
"A verbal response, please."
"Yes, sir," replied both boys.
"Let me be quite clear, if you do tell anyone, anyone at all, I will personally acquaint you with the punishment as dictated by Madame Umbridge. Is that understood?" Harry nodded vigorously and Snape heard a squeak that may have been a 'yes', but he knew the boy was too terrified to answer.
"Now, for your actual punishment. Go up to your rooms. You're each getting the ruler. Mr. Potter, you lost your temper and used magic against your aunt, who being a muggle, required the services of the magical reversal squad. Mr Dursley, you chose to deliberately point your wand at a member of the ministry, even though the resultant magic was accidental. Now, both of you, upstairs, you have five minutes!"
Both boys ran for the door. Angering Snape by dawdling was not on either of their lists of things to do. As Snape heard the boys run upstairs he turned to Petunia and was about to speak when she spoke first.
"Severus, thank you."
"You're thanking me for spanking your son?" asked Snape incredulously.
"I'm thanking you for not caning him," said Petunia. "They've spent the last couple of hours just sitting on the couch, terrified. Who is that evil woman anyway?"
"That was Delores Umbridge. Interfering, vindictive, condescending and cruel. And they're just her good attributes. She is very concerned over her own well being and advancement more than anything else. She's also a climber in the ministry, with certain career goals. She is not someone to cross. Unfortunately, your son and nephew have done just that. They need to be very, very careful."
Petunia nodded. She understood climbers, after all, it takes one to know one, but there was something about Umbridge that had even set her teeth on edge.
"I believe Healer Jones is coming tomorrow?" asked Severus.
"He is," said Petunia, "I just hope I can get Marge out of the house with Vernon for his visit."
"Send him an owl if it's too awkward," replied Snape, and then wondered how to broach his next subject. He carefully prepared his next sentences.
"I don't want to tell you how to parent your son, and this is not meant to come out quite how it's going to sound, but I noticed today that Dudley's lost weight over the holidays."
"Oh, yes, that. He's been going swimming with Harry. It gets them away from Vernon. Vernon's not been too bad or anything," she said quickly seeing Snape's face darken, "It's just that Vernon's finding it very hard."
"It's good that he's losing weight, if you like I can send you a potion. If you put a teaspoon of it in a glass of water before each meal he'll feel full just that bit quicker. He'll find it easier to eat less that way, especially sugary foods" said Snape. "I'm not advocating a crash diet or anything, just normal teenage portions."
"Thank you, that's kind of you," said Petunia.
"Well, I believe that's been about five minutes, so if you'll excuse me, I've got to make two boys feel very sorry for themselves," said Snape resignedly, picking up the cane, transfiguring it into a ruler and placing it in his robes. Petunia nodded and Snape went upstairs.
There was a knock on Harry's door and Snape entered without waiting for a response from inside and cast a silencing charm around the room. Harry was sitting on his pillow, huddled against the wall. Severus sat on the edge of the bed in the middle and looked at Harry who was refusing to meet his eye. Severus was just about to bark at him to be civil and look at him when he noticed a single tear escape the corner of Harry's eye. It was then he noticed the boy's hands were shaking. They were clasped round his knees, but it didn't quite stop the shaking. Not the shaking of someone crying, just shaking. Snape put out a hand and lifted the boy's chin up so Harry had to look at him.
"Talk to me, Harry," Snape said quietly. Harry swallowed a few times.
"I could have been expelled," he said.
"Yes, you could," agreed Snape, waiting for the rest of the explanation.
"I wouldn't have seen Hogwarts again, or Ron, or Hermione, or the twins, or Neville, or any of it," said Harry, trying not to burst into tears. "They've been the best two years of my life, and that includes even with Dudley being well, a complete arse, for most of it, and I could have thrown it all away. Just because of something Marge said."
Snape let the language go, and asked curiously, "What did Marge say?"
"She had a go at my parents and said they were good for nothing," replied Harry. Snape's eyes darkened and Harry flinched. Snape looked away for a second to straighten his features before looking back at Harry.
"You know she's lying. She doesn't know any better, and unfortunately, being a muggle, she never will."
Harry nodded.
Snape reached out and took Harry by both shoulders and brought him into his chest for a hug. Harry melted into his head of house and the tears he'd been trying to hold back escaped. Snape held Harry until the boy had stopped crying. Eventually Snape released Harry and looked him in the eye and spoke without any malice or anger in his voice.
"You also know that whatever she said, you're still getting the ruler." Harry nodded again.
"Come on then, stand up. Bend over the bed," said Snape.
Snape had no intention of going easy on him and made sure to firmly swat Harry. When he heard a muffled yelp after six swats he applied a final two. The boy would certainly be sleeping on his stomach this evening!
"You may get up now," said Snape, putting the ruler in his pocket.
"That really hurt!" said Harry, trying not to sound indignant.
"It was a punishment. It was meant to. But I can guarantee it hurt a damn sight less than getting the cane." replied Snape.
"No, I mean you didn't spank me that hard when I shoved Lockhart into the door frame. That was me losing my temper too," said Harry, confused at the inconsistency.
"I don't think you realise, being brought up by muggles, that losing control of your magic because you're angry is a far worse offence and physically hurting them," said Snape. "You could have done a lot more than inflate her like a balloon."
"You mean like Dudley did to Umbridge?"
"Yes, that was worse, but still, she's unharmed and everything was fixed with your aunt. No, Harry, I'm talking about when sometimes things aren't fixable, that some witches and wizards go through life with a deformity or worse, because someone lost their temper. That's why you got punished so harshly."
"You'll be able to sit down by tomorrow lunchtime," he said, "I need to speak with your cousin now, but remember, you got caned."
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry I lost my temper," said Harry.
"You are forgiven. Goodnight, Harry," said Snape, leaving the room, closing the door behind him and removing the silencing charm.
When Snape entered Dudley's bedroom he found Dudley lying on his stomach on his bed. The boy was picking at his pillow. Snape cast a silencing charm around the room and sat next to Dudley on the edge of his bed. He removed the ruler from his robes and placed it on the bedside table.
"I'd like an explanation, Mr. Dursley," said Snape quietly but firmly.
Dudley shrugged.
"You are not in a position to just shrug at me. I'd like an explanation and my patience has limits," said Snape, adding a slight growl to his tone.
"She was going to take Harry away," said Dudley simply.
"She said she was going to try to have him expelled," countered Snape. "First, that may not have happened, and second, that's hardly taking him away. Your explanation is going to need some work."
"She said he'd be educated under the 'close scrutiny' of the ministry. That'd mean he wouldn't be at Hogwarts and he wouldn't be with me."
"I hate to be the one to point this out to you, but last year you didn't exactly care for being in the same school as Mr. Potter," said Snape.
There was a very long silence.
"But he saved my life," murmured Dudley. This last sentence was said to his pillow rather than Snape.
"Essentially, yes, he did," admitted Snape, "But your explanation and your reasoning do not negate the fact that you threatened a ministry employee, one of Madam Umbridge's standing no less, and then, through losing your temper, you blasted her across the room."
Dudley shrugged. Snape leaned over and swatted the boy's backside. "I think I explained about shrugging just a moment ago," said Snape.
Dudley tried to rub the sting out of his bum until Snape knocked his hand away. "You did. Sorry, sir. It's just, I couldn't stop myself. It's like, with dad being like he is and me being a wizard, all I've got is Harry. Mum's doing her best but she's in the middle and spends so much time placating dad that when Umbridge threatened Harry I kinda lost it."
"Yes you did. But I'm going to explain to you what I just explained to Harry. Losing your temper and as a result having a bout of accidental magic is seen as one of the worse infractions for wizarding children. I know it's different in the muggle world, and fighting is seen as one of the worst things you could do, but comparatively speaking, what you did today eclipses when you threw a snowball at Harry before Christmas. You pointed your wand in anger at someone today. In a way, Umbridge's demand to see you both caned isn't completely unreasonable, that's why Minister Fudge upheld it. It's only because Professor Dumbledore and I are acquainted personally with yours and Harry's situation, and that if I were honest, Umbridge isn't a very nice human being, that we have chosen to lessen your punishment."
"This is really going to hurt, isn't it?" asked Dudley, with a certain amount of trepidation.
"Yes, but at least it's not the cane," replied Snape. "Now, stand up and bend over the bed," said Snape.
"Eight swats, Mr. Dursley," said Snape, and without further ado, set lines of fire across Dudley's backside. Dudley squirmed when Snape laid the last four on his sit spots. The boy would not be sitting down tomorrow morning, that was for sure.
When he'd done, Snape placed a hand gently on the boy's back to calm him, and eventually Dudley caught hold of his ragged breathing.
"It's over, Dudley," said Snape, choosing to use the boy's first name for once. "You are forgiven." Snape stood up and walked to the door, pocketing the ruler. "Remember, you got a very thorough caning. Goodnight, Mr. Dursley."
"G'n, Sir." mumbled Dudley into his pillow.
Snape left the room and went back downstairs to Petunia, cancelling the silencing charm as he did. She looked up at him with a slightly accusatory look.
"It was either that, or they got caned and you know it," said Snape, slightly more harshly than he wanted it to sound. Petunia backed off.
"I know," she admitted, "It's just..."
"Hopefully they'll learn, and Umbridge will be none the wiser," said Snape more gently, "Speaking of which, I think that it's best if your husband is told they got caned if he asks. I'm sorry to say that I don't trust him. I don't think he'd necessarily say anything deliberately, but he's a bit of a loose cannon," said Severus.
"I know. I think that would be for the best too," admitted Petunia. She sighed. "Severus..."
"Yes?" said Snape, after she didn't continue immediately.
"I never realised it before, but he's a lot like Lily. He cares about people," said Petunia.
Severus' voice caught in his throat momentarily before he answered. "Yes, he is. Goodnight, Petunia."
"Goodnight, Severus. It seems strange that I should be thanking you for tanning Dudley's hide, but it's better than the alternative."
Snape nodded at her in acknowledgement, let himself out of the house and apparated back to Hogwarts.
Severus reported to Dumbledore about how their plan had worked in that Severus was the one Umbridge chose to punish the boys. Severus then flooed to the ministry.
He walked into Umbridge's office and placed a cane on her desk in front of her. "You should have seen their expressions," he said, making sure to sound gleeful, "It's amazing how much fear you can put into someone when you flex a cane in front of them."
"I commend you on a job well done, Severus," replied Umbridge. "Can I assume they are suitably sorry?"
"I can guarantee they're sleeping on their stomach's tonight and are suitably contrite over their actions," said Snape, without a word of a lie. "If you ever need my services again..." he left the sentence hanging for a moment. "Goodnight Madam, don't work too late."
"Goodnight Severus," said Umbridge.
Severus flooed back to Hogwarts and poured himself a stiff nightcap in his rooms. It was going to be a long year with her as DADA professor!