Chapter 21: Guilty or Not Guilty

"That was bloody brilliant!" said Ron, still in awe from what the student body had dubbed The Show from the night before. "That moment when said she'd done it. The silence! You could hear a pin drop."

"The look on Dumbledore's face!" agreed Harry.

"Professor Flitwick's Expelliamus," said Dudley, "Legend!"

"I think the best bit was the cheering at breakfast this morning when Dumbledore told us she's not coming back," said Hermione.

"Yeah, that was a good bit," said Harry, delighted to be shut of the witch.

There was a pop.

"The Headmaster summons Mr Dursley in his office now," said the house elf. Then it popped back out of the library.

Dudley looked at the twins. "It was all me. I promise not to drop you in it. Please could you take my things back to the common room?"

Fred nodded. "Good luck, you're gonna need it."

"And a cushion," said George. Dudley grimaced and left the library.

"What was that about?" asked Harry.

"Let's just say that Dudley was instrumental in yesterday's show. But that's his tale to tell if he wants to tell it," said George, cryptically.

"Mr Dursley," said Dumbledore, firmly.

Dudley stood in front of Dumbledore's desk. McGonagall was sitting behind Dumbledore's desk, but off to one side and Healer Jones was sitting in an armchair able to see the three of them without turning his head.

Dudley said nothing.

"I'm just going to ask the question," said Dumbledore, simply, "Did you drug Professor Umbridge?"

"Yes, sir," said Dudley, without hesitation.

Slightly derailed for a second by such a blunt answer, Dumbledore rallied, "You are aware that drugging people is going to be treated the same way as poisoning people?" he asked, "You remember last year?"

"Yes, sir. It was worth it," said Dudley steadily.

"Why did you do it?" asked Dumbledore.

"She deserved it," stated Dudley.

Jones cleared his throat, "Last year, you believed you wouldn't get caught, yes?" Dudley nodded, "Surely you had to know you'd be found out this time?"

"Sort of," admitted Dudley after a pause, "I'd only be caught if you questioned me. If you found out she was drugged. There was a chance of you not finding out."

"But you did it anyway? Given that knowledge in advance?"

"Yes, sir,"

"Dudley, you need to know that this shouldn't be transactional," said Jones, "You can't weigh up punishment against actions like poisoning someone,"

Dudley shrugged, "What else was I supposed to do? No one else did anything. I'd found out she poisoned Professor Flitwick, and no-one did anything."

No-one called him out on that statement. Minerva felt very guilty about that.

Dumbledore exhaled. This wasn't a simple misdemeanor. Whereas his usual course of action right now would be to dismiss the two adults and paddle the delinquent's backside til he understood that certain behaviour wouldn't be tolerated, this was much more in Healer Jones' league. Dudley wasn't a simple person. That hallucinogen had some special thought put into it.

"Mr Dursley," he said, making a decision, "You're going to talk to Healer Jones. You're going to tell him everything about this whole affair, the hows, the whys, and the wherefores. When you've had whatever conversation you both need, he is going to decide on your punishment, up to and including as you may have guessed, the paddle." Dumbledore glanced at the Healer to make sure this was an acceptable proposition.

Healer Jones nodded, "But on one condition, Headmaster?"

"Yes?"

"That the conversation I have with Dudley is confidential. If you give me the authority to decide his punishment, I'd like the reasons for it to remain with me too. If he does end up back in your office for punishment, you may not question why my punishment is, you simply mete it out."

Dumbledore nodded, "As you wish. Mr Dursley, go with Healer Jones to his office. The elves will bring you both dinner. I've a feeling it'll be a long conversation.

Dudley sat in his usual seat in the Healer's office.

"Is there any chance this isn't going to end up with me getting paddled by Dumbledore?" asked Dudley.

"Why do you ask?" asked Jones.

"Aside from the fact that it hurts like hell?" asked Dudley with a certain amount of gallows humour in his tone.

"Yes, aside from that," said Jones.

"I don't like him. He's too cold," said Dudley. "Is there a chance?"

"Yes, there is. There's something I'm looking for, but I'm clearly not going to tell you what it is."

"It won't be remorse," said Dudley, sharply, "I'm not sorry. She's not Harry."

"I didn't think it would be," said Jones with a wry smile, "You made that perfectly clear upstairs. Now," continued the Healer, "Tell me what you did. How did you find out it was Umbridge?"

So Dudley told the Healer all of it. He started at the beginning, deciding Flitwick had been poisoned. He told him about how proud he'd been to find out how, so that it could stop. He talked about his disappointment when McGonagall had told him to leave it be. He talked about the problem solving aspect and wanting to investigate. Talked about the fact that the others weren't as keen for him to investigate, that they knew he'd be a bit, well, vengeful about talked about Filch and his cat.

This was where Healer Jones became very interested.

"What did the twins say exactly? Can you remember?" asked Jones.

"Fred told me to tell McGonagall."

"Did you agree with this?" Jones asked.

"Not at first, but they pointed out that Umbridge was going to surely get the sack. So that'd be okay. I could kind of see their point. I mean, she wouldn't work in a school again, and might even lose her ministry job. So yeah, kind of."

"And that's when you went to Professor McGonagall?"

"Yeah, but she basically told me to go away."

"What did you think about that?"

"I was pissed, obviously. I mean, all she had to do was ask a few questions, I even told her to talk to Mr Filch."

"Was that when you decided to take matters into your own hands?"

"Yeah, I mean the twins tried to talk me out of it, they suggested I tell Professor Flickwick, but I didn't."

"Why not?"

"W… What if he didn't believe me? I like him."

"And that's why you didn't tell him? You'd be upset if Professor Flitwick didn't believe you?"

"Yes."

"Because you'd prevented him from being poisoned? Did you feel he would owe it to you to listen to you?"

"No, not that, just that I'd be disappointed if he didn't listen. He's a teacher who cares."

Jones studied Dudley for a few seconds. The boy was telling the truth. His reasoning was genuine.

"Congratulations, Mr Dursley, you've explained your way out of a paddling," said Jones, "Can you identify why?"

Dudley thought about it. "I tried to go to Mcgonagall first?"

"Partly."

"I was afraid that if I went to Professor Flitwick he might not believe me?"

"Yes, Dudley," said Jones, with a smile.

"We've been talking a while. I don't think the Headmaster expects us at dinner, so I'll have an elf bring us some food. I promise not to ask you any leading questions during dinner. Tell me about your cat."

Dudley's eyes lit up. He liked talking about Loki.

After dinner they continued their conversation.

"Why did you pick boggart phlegm?" asked Jones.

"Because her greatest fear is Dementors. Our practical Boggart lesson, the one she screwed up that Mr Lupin had to sort of rescue? That wasn't a great lesson. And also, with the Dementors being outside there was context."

"But you picked it because her hallucination would be her greatest fear,"

"Yes," said Dudley, "She deserved it. I meant that when I said that to the Headmaster. Do you know how many students she's caned or rulered this year? For simple things? I mean sure, the twin's changing her plates, yeah, if they'd done that to Snape he'd have rulered them, but he's not a sadist. She is."

Dudley continued, "And what did Professor Flitwick do? He's a kind, good teacher. Not just because he treated me normally last year, but he's a good teacher. McGonagall is too rigid. She's good, but her lessons aren't fun. But Flitwick, he keeps control of the class and he's fun. You know, we think it's because of blood status."

"How so?" asked Jones curiously. Dudley was a thinker. He got the feeling that Hermione had rubbed off on him in a positive way, in the same way the twins had generally calmed down his not-quite-pranking.

"Hermione has a theory, Umbridge seats her class purebloods at the front and those not, at the back. She was well pissed when Umbridge wouldn't even let her answer in class. Mental that one. She has got to get her priorities straight."

"But I think it extends to the staff, and well, everyone. Gossip in the common room is her creature law stuff that she's writing. Everyone says it's because she's a bitch, but I think it's a lot more. Her proper mean streak is reserved for non-pureblood wizards, and if you looked at that, then Professor Flitwick wouldn't be high on her list."

"Mind you, there was what she told Trelawney too," added Dudley.

"Quick question, but is there anything the student body doesn't know?" asked Jones, fascinated by what he was being told now that he had guaranteed Dudley's confidence.

"It's a boarding school in the middle of Scotland full of politically motivated wizards. Pu-lease! The Gryffindor prefects even know the location of McGonagall's whiskey," said Dudley without meaning offense. Jones smiled. Yes, that was a bit of a silly question.

"The student body's current question is how Snape discovered the Ravenclaw out of bounds. That's bugging a lot of us. You don't know, do you?" asked Dudley, hopefully.

"I'm not divulging what you're saying to the staff, so I'm also not divulging staff secrets to you," said Jones, lightly.

"It was worth a try."

"Back to topic, how did you get her to take it?"

"Did you know she has a sweet tooth? She keeps a box of Turkish Delights on her desk. I drugged those."

"Were you not afraid she'd know it was you if you've been in her office?" asked Jones.

"Never been in. Fred got a bird's eye view of her desk when she caned him. The twins usually do pranks, but with Umbridge, it's revenge. They taught me how to make the potion. They're bloody good at potions. You know I'm only telling you this because I promised not to drop them in the shit and you're not telling anyone right?"

"That is correct, your confession is safe with me today, I promised that in the Headmaster's office," reiterated Jones.

"That lesson where Hermione got into trouble with Umbridge. No-one was watching me when I swapped her sweets. After that, it was just a matter of time. It was very slow, so she wouldn't notice anything sudden. The twins were really concerned they'd got the wrong proportions when she started acting really batty last week. They still don't know what went wrong. They're analysing their base again."

"I will tell you this one thing, in that case," said Jones, "Their potion is likely fine. Umbridge was very short of sleep last week. I suspect combined with a mild potion there was a cumulative effect."

"Oh, thanks, I'll tell them not to worry then," said Dudley.

"I'd rather they didn't make it again," said Jones, concerned.

"Oh, not like that," said Dudley hurriedly, "They're trying to invent sweets that are pranks. They do stuff like this often. The ton-tongue toffee was a good one."

"I don't want to know," said Jones weakly. "What do you think about getting caught?" asked Jones, "Do you feel vindictive towards anyone?"

"No," said Dudley, "I'd rather not have been caught, obviously. I think even if I were getting paddled off Dumbledore I don't think I'd feel like I'd have to get back at him. What did you call it - transactional."

"You genuinely think the hallucinogenic drugging was equitable to you getting a paddling?" asked Jones, slightly dismayed.

"No, but that's not what I meant. Her drugging Professor Flitwick is equal to me drugging her. The fact I got caught is the transactional part. It's more that she was trying to get Professor Flitwick out of school, so I was hoping it'd get her out instead. Her method nearly worked, and I saw the possibilities to do a similar thing, but get it right. I hope she loses her job here, I mean, how can't she? Surely the ministry wouldn't force her back. Would it?" asked Dudley, with a hint of anger. "They couldn't go against Dumbledore's sacking her, could they?"

"If she stayed, then what would you do?" asked Jones.

Dudley was silent for a bit. He thought about it. Honestly. "I think I'd keep trying to get rid of her if she'd continue to screw over Professor Flitwick, and be a sadist to the students. It's only luck that I've not been rulered in her class. I sit at the back. It's just she's got it in for Dean more for some reason."

"Would that go well for you?" asked Jones.

"God no, probably not, but I'd want to try."

"I don't believe that the Headmaster will entertain her returning," said Jones, "And from what I know of the ministry, she's got a problem there too. It appears your backside will be safe for longer."

"So, what are you going to give me for punishment?" asked Dudley, "Not the paddle doesn't mean not a ruler."

"The first thing I'm going to tell you isn't punishment," said Jones, "It'll help you. You said that McGonagall said leave it alone, and then you got thinking. Well, from now on, I'd like you to complete a journal. Not 'What did I do today?' but I will give you a topic each week to write about. You have to tell me what you think about it, tell me why you think that, with examples from your week, and I will read it and talk to you about it. There is nothing that you write in this journal that will ever get you punished. I want that clear up front."

"And the bit that is punishment?" asked Dudley, with a certain trepidation.

"It's threat of a punishment," said Jones, "I want you to complete your journal properly. I want you write in it when you pissed off, and I want you to treat the subjects I give you to write about seriously."

"Else you'll send me to Dumbledore and his ruler?" asked Dudley, presuming the obvious.

"Nope, I'll send you to Flitwick and his slipper."

Dudley stared open mouthed at Jones with total and utter horror.

"I don't think I agree with your chosen punishment, Healer," said Dumbledore to Jones in Dumbledore's office much later that evening.

"You gave me the authority to choose it. I have chosen it. You were aware at the time I could choose any punishment I deemed fit."

"But it's not an actual punishment, is it?" asked Dumbeldore.

"It will improve him," said Jones, "You can always hope he forgets to write it one week, although the look of abject horror on his face when I told him the consequence of not doing so rather suggests he'll play by the rules."

Dumbledore hrumphed.

"Are you telling me," said Jones, "You didn't get just a bit of vindictive pleasure out of telling Fudge what you know? Or from sacking Umbridge? I heard you tell how your conversation with Fudge went. Look, Dudley's not like he was last year. There's reason to his thinking. I'm not telling you any more without it violating my promise. But I'll add one thing about the student body in general. They know a hell of a lot. Except about Severus' omniscience."