A more confident Stephanie! R and R x

Home Dry

When I fell out of bed at 8 this morning I had all this positive karma; the sun was up, the smog was minimal, and I'd been listening to power ballads like the Dirty Dancing theme tune – life was officially good.

It didn't matter that Joe Morelli was coming back into orbit once more, complete with suggestive comments and leers, nor that Ranger seemed more amused by the competition then threatened. For some reason, I wanted him threatened. What? Did he think 'Someday' was so safe that he didn't sweat if I happened to be doing Morelli today? That kind of complacency was just annoying. Especially when I wasn't even doing Morelli. The closest I'd come to a social orgasm had been eating a Boston Cream in public, and even that was a solitary activity.

I'm not the most decisive person in the world, and I'm not entirely sure what I want from the men in my life. But I do know that I don't want to be the sterling prize in some kind of testosterone race where they know the rules and I'm lost in the dust they're determined to kick up between them.

My day was going swimmingly. Literally. Everything was good, right up to the point where I went for an involuntary swim in the community pool. I could cope with getting a little wet - ok, so completely drenched; what I was finding harder to deal with was two minutes after I'd fallen in two cop cars had arrived at the scene. For crying out loud, the FTA wasn't even dangerous! When I pointed this out to Carl he just grinned.

'Business is slow.' He said, shrugging. 'I'm bored.' Big Dog nodded agreement.

'Crime is low.' I paused, making sure I spoke the next words slowly and clearly, 'this is a good thing.'

'Sure.' Carl agreed easily, 'it's great for the victims, but it's not that fun for us cops. I actually rescued a cat yesterday.'

'From a tree?'

'No. It's owner – He wanted to dye its fur green and red.'

I was saved from replying by the advent of my two, very different, hero's. Morelli arrived in his usual POS car and Ranger drew up in what I'd taken to calling his WDIC – Wet Dream In a Car. Their vehicles of choice seemed to give Ranger some extra points in this crazy race, but I think that the Friendship ring on my middle finger gave Morelli some points too. Ranger hadn't given me jewellery, but then he'd accessorised my whole being with several cars – so I couldn't complain.

Joe swallowed some pills before climbing out the car; now whether they were antacids or calming pills, its still not a great sign that he takes medication at the sight of me - unless it's anti-viagra, which would actually be quite flattering. Ranger manoeuvred out of his car and to my side with his usual grace, reaching me before Joe.

Both men stood before me and stared.

And stared.

I glanced down, and promptly folded my arms across my chest. 'Jeez, they're just nipples. You both have them too.'

Ranger looked like he might be thinking about smiling. 'Babe.'

Joe wasn't so contained. 'So Cupcake…got a new job smuggling peanuts?'

My eyes narrowed and I glared at Joe, ignoring Carl's guffaws behind me. I switched my Bitch gaze to Ranger in case he was thinking about joining in. He raised one eyebrow. I guess he wasn't on board the Mock Stephanie Train.

I nodded mentally to myself, and outwardly just pushed my FTA at a surprised Carl. 'Since you have so much time on your hands…' I said saccharin sweet, 'you can take him in for me. Drop the receipt with Connie.'

Carl opened his mouth to complain, took one look at my face and shut his jaw with a click. He was slow, but not that slow.

I turned back to Ranger. 'Can you take me to my apartment please?'

He nodded fractionally, barely smirking at Joe at all.

I paused before getting in his WDIC; I didn't want to ruin the leather, and I was mad at Morelli for the peanut comment, and that last social orgasm had been a long time ago…

I stripped out of my clothes quickly and easily leaving me standing in my underwear and nothing else. They were even matching. I left my clothes on the sidewalk, 'Hey Joe, can you put these in the drycleaners for me? Thanks.'

I slipped into Ranger's car still smirking at Joe's sour expression – guess he realised that whatever vehicle he had for the amazing race had crashed and burned, leaving Ranger speeding home dry.

I did up the seatbelt as the engine caught, but the car didn't move. Finally I turned to meet Ranger's hot gaze.

'Yes?' I said, 'was there something you wanted?'

Ranger's gaze ran up and down my body familiarly. 'Oh yeah.' He said.

Oh Boy.