Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
The following story may or may not be littered with some true events. Names, places and locations have been changed to protect amongst others me!
Station – the place or position in which something or someone stands or is assigned to stand or remain.
A high station in life is earned by the gallantry with which appalling experiences are survived with grace. – Tennessee Williams
AN: Hello there! I am back with a new story. It's been a while I know but hopefully you'll give it a try. Yes there will be food involved in some way and yes it does take place in the south. I will be doing weekly updates that will most likely be posted on Fridays.
I want to say thank you to my lovely pre-reader coastaltigergirl who is not only my baking partner in crime but a dear friend who I totally got addicted to Fan Fiction!
Chapter One
Station in Life
"Isabella, could you please come here?" My grandmother calls from the sunroom as I pass it on my way to my room.
It has been a long day at work and all I want to do is go to my room and get out of my corporate monkey suit and into something more my style. I contemplate telling her I would be in there as soon as I changed but I knew she would be greatly disappointed in yoga pants and an oversized tee so with a heavy sigh I head back towards her.
"Yes ma'am." I answer as I walk into the room to find her sitting in one of the wing back chairs in her classic Chanel suit and pearls, the essence of old Southern money pouring off of her much the same way in which she pours the sweet tea into crystal glasses.
"Tea?" She asks me while pointing to the chair beside her letting me know she expects me to sit with her.
"Thank you." I answer her as I take the glass, sitting down while making sure I held my posture rigid and straight. My hands holding the glass of tea in my lap and my legs crossed at the ankle just to the side of me. It was the proper way for a lady to sit after all, at least that was what they told us in our debutante classes and something my grandmother expected of me at all times.
I swear I think if the military used debutante rules of society to interrogate their prisoners, the Taliban would have caved years ago. This is killing my back.
We sat there in silence, sipping our tea and looking at everything but each other. I could tell there was something weighing heavily on her mind but she wasn't sure how she wanted to start the conversation.
"Tomorrow is a big day for you?" She asks finally breaking the silence.
"Yes ma'am." I answer her not sure where this topic of conversation is going.
"Your granddaddy would be very proud of you Isabella."
"I hope so."
"He was always proud of you Isabella; we both were, even though we may not have always shown it." She answers me with a sigh before she places her drink back on the table in front of us.
I was raised in the same house with my grandparents, Charles and Renee Swan in Atlanta, Georgia, but to say they raised me would be a stretch of the word. My mother, Paige Swan was hardly ever around and I had no idea who my father was, to be honest I suspected my mother really didn't know either.
It seems that while she was on Spring Break her freshman year of college she went wild drinking, partying and jezebeling as the old gossips would say and she became pregnant with me. Of course it was a scandal, even though it was 1988. When it came to old Southern money a young deb was still expected to uphold society's morals until she was properly married. No matter the day and age. And an unwed pregnancy was high on the list of not upholding society's morals.
Despite the scandal my mother was told she would have the baby, reform her sinful ways and hope that there would still be a proper young man out there who would be willing to marry her even with the Scarlett letter taint that surrounded her. I knew my mother never wanted me, nor did she want that proper life. All she ever really cared about was the money. As long as she showed up for the society parties and holidays to act the part of the loving mother, my granddaddy gave her the money that she wanted and the freedom she thought she deserved to roam the world.
I think granddaddy was afraid she would just embarrass him further so why not tuck her away in some exotic locale.
Along with all of the proper schools from kindergarten all the way through college, my grandparents tutored me as I grew up. My grandmother was the master of the debutante, proper ways of a Southern Belle, while granddaddy taught me the world of business and finance. Neither of them was overly affectionate with me, neither of them ever really played with me or did those things that you see grandparents or even parents doing with their kids on TV. Hell neither of them ever called me by the name I preferred, Bella instead of Isabella. Isabella was always too formal, probably why they always called me that. But anyway, they were always a constant in my life, and I knew in their own ways they did love me.
Now I don't want you to think I had an unhappy childhood, in fact I had an amazing childhood thanks to Maggie and Marcus Barefoot, a middle-aged African American couple who worked for my grandparents. Maggie was the housekeeper, cook and nanny while Marcus was the groundskeeper. They both lived in a small cottage at the back of the estate my family owned. It sounds very 1950's stereotypical I know and I often brought that up to both Maggie and Marcus but they both just shooed that idea away saying they were meant to work for my grandparents so they could be there for me and therefore they didn't worry about what others thought of them or their station in life.
Station in life: the funny notion that how you were born determined how your life was supposed to be lived.
My station in life was a contradiction of terms from the moment I was born. My grandmother wanted me to be a proper lady, the good deb who married and became a junior league doctor's wife. My granddaddy wanted me to carry on the family's financial business name as there were no other Swan heirs to do so with my mother out of the picture. One worked hard for me to be a doting wife and mother while the other wanted me to be for all intents and purposes a man.
Maggie and Marcus just wanted me to be happy, my own person, with my own identity.
My head was a crowded mess of information, requirements, rules, regulations and just everyday life. Thoughts, observations, numbers and opinions ran rampant. Like my own constant talk radio but instead of NPR it was IBR – Internal Bella Radio. Needless to say all of those things made my mind a little touched at times. I swear I was a crazy mess. But Maggie always said it was ok because in the South we like to prop our crazy up on the front porch for the entire world to see.
Maggie always could make me smile.
"Isabella, did you hear me?" My grandmother asks bringing me out of IBR land.
"I'm sorry grandmother; I got lost thinking about tomorrow. Please ask your question again."
"I asked you how Benjamin felt about the pending announcement tomorrow?"
He probably thought he had found his sugar mama. The fact the other guys at work teased him about losing his balls didn't even seem to bother him.
Benjamin Jefferson was one of the brokers at Swan Investment Firm. The company my great great grandfather started over one hundred years ago and was considered to be one of the most respected investment houses in all of Georgia. Attempts at buy outs from the large brokerage houses, like Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch and PaineWebber where all ignored and the company was still considered the best place to keep your money despite it being considered a boutique firm by the big boys.
Even the big banks can have penis envy I guess. I wonder if they call it penis envy though? Maybe its account envy, money envy, size envy? Either way I guess size really does matter!
I also worked at the firm as the head of the compliance and risk departments. A big accomplishment for a 24 year old I know, but it was something my granddaddy had been grooming me for since I was a teenager.
"He seems to be happy about?" I answer her with a question.
Benjamin and I had been dating for the past six months. I think it was expected that he was going to ask me to marry him but he suddenly seemed to be holding off for some reason.
Guess maybe he too was concerned about where his balls would be kept.
You see tomorrow it was going to be announced to the employees that I was being named as the Vice President of the company with the idea that I would eventually be President and CEO. It was what my granddaddy always wanted. Unfortunately he wasn't here anymore to witness his dream. He passed way eight months ago.
"So he isn't bothered by the fact that you will now be his boss?"
"We haven't really talked about it to be honest with you. I think he is ok with it." I answer her unsure of the truth of my words.
"Have the two of you discussed marriage since the informal announcement was made?"
"Benjamin and I have not, although mother brings it up whenever I see her."
I swear sometimes I think she should marry him.
My mother came back into my life on a seemingly permanent basis after my granddaddy died. She claimed losing him made her realize the importance of family and that she regretted not being a part of my life growing up.
Yea and if you pulled my left leg it would play jingle bells.
She was trying her hardest to be a part of my everyday life. She also seemed very determined to have me married off as quickly as possible. It seems she had fallen into the mindset of the junior leaguers.
Crazy Stepford bitches!
Maggie didn't trust her motives, saying there was another reason for my mother's sudden need to be a mother. Truth be told I didn't trust her either.
"Of course she does." My grandmother mumbled to herself. "Tell me Isabella, do you want to marry Benjamin?"
"I..." I said not really sure how to answer her. No one had asked me that before. It was always just assumed.
"Do you love him?" She asks me, her voice quiet with concern.
"Honestly..." I pause as I really thought about the question. "No." I finally answer her, my own voice quiet as I mull over that realization. Benjamin and I had both exchanged those three words but I doubt either of us ever really meant them.
"Good." She said with a sigh of relief. She picked up her glass of tea taking a deep drink before placing it back onto its coaster.
"Do you want to run your granddaddy's company?"
Fuck no! Of course saying that out loud might just cause her to keel over.
"Before you answer that question Isabella there are some things that I need to tell you, things that will undoubtedly change the direction that your life is going to take."
"Of course grandmother." I encourage her as she pauses her words.
"Right after your mother was born there were complications and they ended up having to give me a hysterectomy in order to save my life. Even though Charles never expressed the words I always knew there was a part of him that was disappointed there would not be a male heir to carry on the Swan name, not only in the firm but also in Georgia society. There are some men who would have resented your mother for being a girl and ignored her, but your granddaddy seemed to be the opposite of that and he did everything in his power to give her everything that she could have and did ask for. Unfortunately your mother didn't seem to have a good bone in her body and took advantage of that."
"Grandmother!" I gasp; shocked that she would speak that way about her own child.
"Don't get me wrong Isabella, I love your mother with all my heart, but I do not, cannot like the person she has become. I know it shocks you to hear me say this about my own child, but please remember that she is the same child of mine who has all but abandoned her own child."
"But she..." I begin as the words she has just spoken race around my heart.
"...is here now, I know darling." Grandmother said with a heavy sigh leaning forward and taking my hand in her own. "Isabella I know that you have always wanted the love of your mother no matter how you tried to hide it. I know that Maggie has always been there for you the way she should have been, the way I should have been and for that I will always be grateful to her. But I could always see the longing in your eyes for her to just hug you, could see the way you always did your best to try and make her proud of you, to try and make her want you. Unfortunately that was never going to happen because your mother never thinks about anybody other than herself."
Damn grandmother was more observant than I ever gave her credit for.
"Your granddaddy was devastated when your mother would have nothing to do with you. He felt guilty for over indulging her as a child and he tried to ease that guilt by being the exact opposite with you. I think he thought if he groomed you to be a business leader, you would have a better head on your shoulder then she did, have a greater appreciation for the life that we lived, for the money that we had and that you would be a better person."
Hell even Dexter is a better person than my mother!
"What about you?" I ask her pulling my hand away from hers and settling back in my chair.
"It was shame that made me the way I was with you. I was ashamed of your mother Isabella, ashamed of the disgrace she brought to our family and I pushed you to be a proper lady so that you would present a better light that would fade out the dark shadow your mother left on our name."
"But that wasn't fair to me, any of it!" I said raising my voice for the first time in my life to my grandmother.
She looked at me shocked for a moment and then a small smile lifted the side of her mouth before she looked away.
"Thank God!" She mumbles to herself before she looks back up at me. "You're right sweet girl. Neither your granddaddy nor I should have punished you for your mother's shortcomings, for our shortcomings. We cheated you out of a proper childhood, out of deciding your own path in life and out of your own identity and that is something I will regret until the day I die."
We sat there in silence for a few moments, her last words floating around in the air trying to permeate my mind. It was currently blank; IBR's off the air sign blinking like a beacon in the night.
"I know that you are aware of the trust fund that your granddaddy set up for you in his will." Grandmother said finally breaking the silence.
I simply shook my head yes, thinking of the five million dollars that was waiting for me when I turned 25.
"There was actually more to it than that Isabella, more that only I, your granddaddy, your mother and our lawyer Mr. Jackson knew about. Your granddaddy did not leave his entire estate to me as many suspected. He left me the houses and more than enough to live the rest of my life comfortably. He left your mother two million dollars and of course he left you with that trust fund."
"Where..." I start to ask.
"The remaining amount of his estate, worth an estimated 30 million dollars was also left to you Isabella, free and clear of any trust fund."
"But...I...why..." I ramble as I tried to get my head around it all.
"There was a contingency to you receiving that money. It all will be yours, the full 35 million when you turn 25 in a few months if you are neither engaged nor married."
"I don't understand who gets it if I am either of those things?"
"Your mother."
"That bitch!" I scream as I jump up from my seat and begin pacing around the room.
Why isn't grandmother yelling at me for my language?
IBR seemed to back on the air now.
I looked over to where she sat expecting to see shame on her face only to be met with a smile.
"That is why she introduced Benjamin to me, why she has pushed our relationship as hard as she has. Why she suddenly wants to be my mother."
"Yes my sweet girl. And that is why your granddaddy pushed you even harder to be in the business. His hope was that you would want a career over a family until you were older. It was his way of punishing your mother."
Assholes! I am surrounded by assholes. How is it I am not one? It must be genetic, like father like daughter. Maybe that's why I am not one; maybe my father wasn't an asshole. Maybe he was a nice guy, is a nice guy.
"My father?" I ask, my ramblings escaping my brain.
"What?" My grandmother asks shocked that I would mention him. He was like the one who must not be named in this house.
"Do you know who my father is?"
"I...I...don't really see how that..."
"Just answer the question grandmother; I have a right to know. Do you know who my father is?"
She sat there for a moment; I could tell she was trying to gather her thoughts debating in her own mind if she should tell me or not.
"Not really no. All we were ever able to get out of your mother was that his name was Phillip. He was a local boy who lived in Dare County in North Carolina but we never knew exactly which town he was from. That was where your mother went for spring break that year. Your granddaddy always tried to find him, tried to figure out what kind of man he really was but he never had any luck. Contrary to what they say, money cannot buy everything."
"Why didn't you tell me this before? I mean I obviously know why that woman didn't say a word to me but why didn't you?"
"I should have Isabella; I just...I always thought your granddaddy knew best, he was such an intelligent man, but not about this. These past few months I have really noticed for the first time that there is no spark in those beautiful eyes of yours. I guess maybe there never really was. That's all our fault my sweet girl and I could not allow it to go on any further."
"My whole life has never been my own." I whisper as I stood there staring out the window.
It's not too late!
"I have to go." I say as I turn to leave the room.
"Isabella, what are you going to do? What will your future be?"
"I don't know grandmother." I say as I walk out of the room.
There will be cuervo in my future, lots and lots of cuervo that's for sure!