Chapter 54

Omg I can honestly say that when I started writing this story I never expected it to get to chapter 54. wow. I'm so sorry once again for the delay with this update and again thanks for still being here. I really appreciate the comments and support from you all for still reading, that's the only reason why I'm still going with this, I'll be honest. Jo

As Virgil made his way out of dining room, wanting to put as much distance between himself and Jeff as he possibly could, he wasn't looking where he was going and almost collided with John. He'd been too angry and distracted that he hadn't noticed that the blonde had been there in front of him.

"Sorry," Virgil mumbled as he went to make his way around the astronaut, with the objective of making his way back to the guest bedroom.

"Are you okay?" John asked real concern evident in his tone and his eyes.

"It's nothing," Virgil replied hastily as he pushed past John. He rushed through the Villa towards the guest bedroom, coming to a stop just outside the door. But instead of going inside, he rested his forehead against the door; trying his best to get his breathing as well as his anger, under control.

"It doesn't look like nothing to me," John commented as he walked down the corridor towards where Virgil was standing; his words causing Virgil to visibly jump as he hadn't expected the blonde to follow him. Unsure of what to say in response, Virgil just waved off the other mans concern, hoping that I would be enough to get him to leave.

But it didn't.

"I heard what you said back there," John continued.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything…it's not my place…" Virgil began, but John just shook his head.

"Thank you," he told him, genuine gratitude in his voice "Thank you for what you did…for sticking up for Gordon like that. I wish he'd have done something like that as Dad might have actually listened to him," John added, and Virgil knew then that he was talking about his own Virgil.

"I'm so sorry about that," Virgil told him, feeling the need to apologise on behalf of the other version of himself in an effort to provide some comfort to the other man. Although deep down Virgil knew that it was a futile endeavour. The only person who would be able to truly bring any comfort to the residents of this island was no longer alive to provide it.

"Please," John said after a moment, gesturing to a door which Virgil knew led to the astronaut's bedroom. Virgil gave a small nod so John opened the door and indicated for him to go inside as he followed close behind him. Once they were both in the room, John closed the door and turned to face Virgil, his expression serious.

"I can honestly say that I never heard Virgil talk to our Dad the way you just did."

"I can honestly say I've never spoken to my own father that way either, I just couldn't listen to him talking like that anymore. I'm sorry…maybe I should go and apologise…" Virgil rambled on, pointing back towards the door.

"Do you think you need to apologise?" John asked, his eyebrows raised as he waited, curiously for Virgil's response.

"I…I," Virgil stammered, unsure how to answer. He didn't really know this John well enough to know how he would react if Virgil told him the truth about how he really felt about what he had done. "I probably shouldn't have said anything as it's not my place," he decided on saying instead.

"You said that already," John told him with a small smile, "And that's exactly the reason why you should have been the one to say something," John reasoned, "You have a different perspective on what's going on here. Like I said, my brother Virgil would never have spoken to him like that and he was the only person that Dad would truly listen to. You only told him what he needed to hear…you just told him the truth."

"Perhaps, but still I don't…"

"I do. I guess the rest of us have just gotten so used to the way that he is and how he is that we've never been able to speak out against him. Maybe if we had things might have been different," John said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I'm sorry…" Virgil began.

"Will you stop apologising already, you have nothing to apologise for okay." John interrupted. Virgil just gave a small nod.

"Look, I know that you've already spoken with Scott and Gordon," John continued "and I know that talking with you has been helpful to them in a way…"

"So now you want your turn, is that it?" Virgil asked, doing the best he could to hide the annoyance he felt at John's words, although the expression that flashed across John's face told him he didn't hide it well enough. He knew from what Avery had told him that spending time with him had provided her with a small amount of comfort and he had hoped that by coming here that maybe he could do the same for the other members of this Tracy family. But he also hadn't expected things to be so different here, despite Avery's warnings. Actually he was starting to realise that Avery's warnings about the differences between the two realities hadn't been warning enough. He was beginning to hate how different and alien this place felt to him and he wanted nothing more than to return to his own family and get away from these people. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to be some sort of balm to their pain and loss.

However, it wasn't just the differences in this version of his family that was making him feel uncomfortable; it was also the realisation that had things been different in his own reality that this could have been how his own family had turned out.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." John said as if he had read Virgil's thoughts, averting his gaze from Virgil as a small blush coloured his cheeks.

"It's okay," Virgil told him "It's just this whole experience has been a lot to deal with."

"Yeah we can definitely be a lot to handle."

Virgil gave a small chuckle at John's words; he had heard similar comments made about himself and his brothers for as long as he could remember.

"That sounds familiar. But I don't just mean being here."

"What…oh you mean Avery?" John asked as he suddenly realised what Virgil was implying. It seemed like this John was just as good at reading him as his own was.

"I didn't handle it too well she first told us what was going on and who she was," he confessed. "When she said that she was my wife…I mean your Virgil's wife and that he had died, it affected me in a way I never expected."

"You fell in love with her didn't you?" John asked with a small, knowing smile. Virgil just nodded before he added,

"Not just me."

"Your Scott too?" John exclaimed somewhat surprised.

"You mean…"

"Yeah, I know that Scott's had feelings for Avery as long as Virgil did. Not that he had ever admitted or acted on it; or that I'd ever let on that I know about his feelings for her either. In fact no one besides me, and now you, knows."

"Actually, your brother knew."

"Virgil knew? Are you sure…"

Virgil replied with another nod. "Scott knows that he knew too. At least he found out that Virgil knew about his feelings for her when he read the letter that he had left him."

John dropped down on to his bed, clearly stunned. "I guess Virgil knew us better than I thought he did," he muttered to himself.

"I'm sorry you never had a better relationship with him…he really missed out," Virgil told John as he took a seat next to the blonde on the bed.

"Thanks." John replied with a small smile. "But he wasn't the only one to miss out. I remember when things were different with him before our mum died. It's just a shame that's Dad's way of dealing with her death ended up tearing us all apart."

"I guess we were lucky that things didn't end up the same way for us. I mean my Dad did have his own issues too which had an effect on us all, but thanks to Scott and our Grandma…"

"Scott told me that you have a good relationship with your brother's?"

"Yeah I do. I mean don't get me wrong we have our disagreements and occasional fallings out," he admitted, the memories of his rift with Scott after Avery's arrival flashed through his mind. "But I can't imagine what my life would be like without any of them in it. They're the best guys I know and I'd do anything for any of them, especially Scott."

"So you and he are close?"

"He's my best friend," Virgil said proudly "He's the one person I'm closest to. I think it's what also makes us work so well together."

"Rescue's were the only time that things were good with him," John confessed sadly. "It was also the only time where he would actually listen to what we had to say if we had any input to provide. To help him to decide what action any of us were to take to make it a success."

"Wait! You mean your Virgil was in charge out there?"

"Well yeah…you mean you're not?"

"No, in my reality Scott is the one in charge while out on missions, with our father's assistance of course."

"Wow," John exclaimed clearly stunned once again "things really are different in your reality."

"You have no idea."

"It's crazy since I don't really know you, but I kind of envy the life you have."

"We've definitely experienced our fair share of pain and loss, maybe not in the same way that you have but what we've been through has brought us closer together as a family. I'm just sorry that it didn't have the same result for you," Virgil said as he gently placed a comforting hand on John's shoulder. Surprised by the gesture, John's gaze rested on Virgil's hand for a moment before he looked Virgil in the eye. The warmth and concern that he saw reflected back at him in Virgil's face was too much and he was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of sadness and regret. As the feelings consumed him, John once again averted his gaze from Virgil's as tears began streaming down his face.

"John?" Virgil asked, concerned by the blondes sudden emotional reaction "are you okay?"

"I'm sorry," John sniffed.

"There's no need to apologise," Virgil told him. "It's understandable to feel this way after everything you've been through."

"I just really hate that we're never going to have a chance to try and fix things between us now that he's gone. We used to have so much fun together when we were kids…I hate how things changed between us and that we never tried to repair the damage that had been done. I guess I always just thought we'd have time later."

"Loss often brings regrets for the things that we never did," Virgil commented.

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience. What regrets do you have?"

"I have plenty believe me," Virgil informed him "I'm sure it's something that everyone experiences no matter how great their lives may seem or how good their relationships with those around them are. But if there's one thing I've really come to regret the last couple of months, is that I regret not having had the chance to experience any real relationships. I've never been lucky enough to experience love the way that your brother and Avery had."

"You haven't met your Avery yet then?"

Virgil shook his head. "Being part of International Rescue keeps us too busy that we don't have time for relationships. Besides, it's not something that would be easy for us to do even if we did have the time."

"How come?"

"Because in my reality no one knows who we really are, outside the organisation I mean. If we were to get involved with anyone we would need to be 100 percent sure of our feelings and how serious the relationship was before we would be able to reveal our secret. Plus starting any kind of relationship with that kind of secret hanging over you never works, believe me I know."

"Ah," John replied in understanding "I guess it was easier for Virgil and Avery since they met during our very first rescue. But I get the feeling you probably already know that."

"Avery did mention it, yeah." Virgil confirmed. "As for me and my first rescue, the Avery from my reality wasn't on board the Fireflash. She was already dead before we were even operational."

"Dead?"

"We found out that she had died in a car accident with her parents when we were trying to determine Avery's identity after she arrived in our reality."

"I'm sorry"

"What for?"

That was when John realised that he didn't really know what it was he was sorry about. It was just that it felt like the right thing to say in the moment.

"I don't know. I guess maybe it's difficult to mourn the loss of someone you didn't really know," John said quietly.

"That's true, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't be wondering lately what could have been if I had been lucky enough to have met her." Virgil's words came out almost wistfully as he spoke. "So I guess in my case it just wasn't meant to be," he added.

John opened his mouth with the intention of offering his apologies once again, but just as quickly shut his mouth again, realising that his words would have been meaningless. As John had said, how could he mourn the loss of someone from his life when they had never even been in his life to begin with? But now, thanks to a freak accident Virgil had the opportunity to have had Avery in his life even if I was only for a short time.

"Leaving her is going to be difficult for you, isn't it?" he asked Virgil instead.

"It's weird how quickly I have got used to having her around. Things are definitely going to be different without her there, that's for sure."

"I'm pretty sure that it's going to be just as difficult for her too when you leave."

"Perhaps," Virgil replied softly, "Perhaps."