When Shizuo got back to his hotel room, Kasuka was already there waiting for him. His little brother did not look as composed as he usually did, his hair was a mess, and his hands noticeably shook.

He glanced up at Shizuo, and his eyes shone with relief instantly. He looked like he wanted to rush to his older brother, grab him tight, and never let go. Instead, he turned to stare down at his feet, his hands squeezing the comforter of the bed.

The tension in the room was so thick that Shizuo had to force himself to walk through it. He didn't look at his brother, and instead moved to sit across from him in one of the hotel provided armchairs, and stared down at his own hands.

For a long, awkward silence nobody spoke. Neither brother seemed to know how to break through it and begin the difficult discussion that was several years overdue.

What could I even say? Shizuo thought as he squeezed his hands together. Me and Kasuka have never had issues like this before, we've never spoken openly like this before… How am I supposed to do this? He cursed himself. I can't even look at him… I'm such a coward…

For some reason, as he thought of himself in that way, he heard Arata's gentle voice in his head. "You're brave and kind. I know you can do it." The piano player had told him. He had sounded so confident, so sure of himself.

As he remembered those words, he felt the painful fear that seemed to wrap around him begin to unravel. Arata believes in me. He thought with a small flutter in his heart at the image of the beautiful man. If someone as wonderful as him has faith in me, then I can do this.

He took a deep breath to steel himself, and then looked up at his brother. The actor still wasn't looking at him, so it seemed Shizuo would have to start right away.

"I'm sorry."

Kasuka's head jerked up, his usually impassive eyes showing off his surprise. "What?"

Shizuo forced himself not to look away, he needed to be brave, he needed to face his mistakes. "I'm sorry, for everything I've put you through. I know that you have been trying your best to help me, you always have been." He fondly remembered the day his brother had given him the bartender suit, and smiled. "Which is why I'm sorry that I've made my problems yours, and I made your problems worse."

"Shizuo…" His brother frowned with a guilty expression. "You were depressed, you still are, I understand why-"

He shook his head, effectively cutting off his brother. "I know, I know I'm depressed. But that isn't an excuse for how I've been treating you. You just wanted to help, and even though I agreed to give it a chance, I never really tried. That wasn't fair to you, especially after all the support you've given me."

"And my depression isn't an excuse for how I acted before all this." His brown eyes darkened as he sighed. "Even before Izaya…Died… I was not good to you."

"I never reached out, I would tell myself you were busy but that was just an excuse, I still should have tried. I lost my temper, even towards people who didn't deserve it. I was rude… To you, to your girlfriend… I've never been a very good brother, and I want to make up for that."

Kasuka stared back at him, his eyes turning misty for a moment. He quickly wiped his eyes to compose himself. "I forgive you… Of course I do. It would be hypocritical of me not to, considering that I must ask for your forgiveness as well."

His younger brother lowered his head for a moment, took a deep breath, and looked up once more. "I'm sorry as well. This whole trip, all I've done is pressure you to attend events with me. The point of inviting you was to help you feel better, but I feel as though I wasn't taking your own wants into consideration."

His expression became guilty again. "And… I will admit, your suspicions are true. I was trying to make you stay here. I knew my boss didn't like you, but I didn't want to send you back to Ikebukuro. You're not happy there, big brother, everyone can see it."

"And so when you spoke of Arata, and how he made you happy… I took the chance to suggest it." He sighed and shook his head. "But I should have been honest with you from the start, and I regret that I wasn't."

Kasuka took one more deep breath. "And.. The fault is not entirely yours, for our distance before this. You are right that you should have reached out, but I never did either. The fault is on us both, and I'm sorry."

Shizuo listened to the apology carefully, and found his brother had made a good point. "Well… I forgive you, of course I do. You're my brother and I love you no matter what." He smiled and chuckled. "I guess we will both have some things to make up for, Huh?"

His little brother gave him a rare smile and nodded. "I hope that from now on, we can be more honest with each other, and support each other like we used to."

The bodyguard gave his brother a firm, determined nod. "We will, I promise."

Shizuo then stood up, moved over to his brother, and pulled the younger man into a tight hug. Kasuka didn't even hesitate to hug him back, leaning into him as both brothers slumped in relief.

Their conversation went better than they expected, and it seemed that the rift between them could be mended. Shizuo was relieved, and promised to do better by Kasuka and himself.

Arata… Thank you for your advice. Without you, I don't think I would have been brave enough to do this.

"So, are you still staying in Sapporo?" Kasuka asked him once they both felt comfortable enough to release themselves from the hug (which had lasted for several minutes, neither of them willing to let go). "I know last time I asked, I had ulterior motives, but this time I truly want to know."

Shizuo was surprised to find that, despite the fact he had a whole life waiting for him in Ikebukuro, his mind was already made up. "Yes, I am. At least for a while. This place feels different from Ikebukuro, I like it here a lot."

His little brother tilted his head. "Because of Arata?"

The older of the two quickly blushed, and mumbled some inaudible words for a while before calming down. "Yes, he's the main reason. I like him… I don't know him very well, but I want to. I want to stay and be his friend and… Maybe someday, something more."

"I see…" Kasuka smiled at the sight of pure happiness in his brother's eyes. "It sounds like you and Arata care about each other very much. I would like to meet him some day."

Shizuo smiled even wider. "I hope that you can eventually."

His little brother looked at the unpacked suitcase on the ground, then back at him. "Do you want me to rent an apartment for you, if you are staying? I can have someone deliver your stuff there as well."

The bodyguard held up his hands. "It's okay, Kasuka. You don't have to send up my stuff just yet. Maybe we can find a place, and I can look for a job nearby. That way, you don't have to pay for it forever."

Before their conversation, Kasuka probably would have protested and insisted he didn't mind paying. Now, he simply smiled and nodded in understanding. "I think that's a good idea, big brother."

"When are you guys leaving?"

Kasuka thought for a moment. "The director wants to leave, at the latest, tomorrow afternoon."

Shizuo nodded, he wasn't surprised that the slimy man wanted to leave so soon. He probably was excited to be rid of the bodyguard, and was taking advantage of his decision to stay in Sapporo.

"Well then, would you like to spend the rest of the day together?" Shizuo hopefully asked. "We could do something we both want to do before we say goodbye."

"What about Arata?"

Shizuo blushed at the mention of his lover. "I'm sure he'll know what happened. He's actually… Erm… He's the reason I had the courage to talk to you. After I told him what was going on, he gave me a good pep talk."

His little brother looked momentarily impressed, and then gave a nod. "Well then, it looks like I owe him a great deal for helping us. I'll be sure to thank him when we meet."

The bodyguard couldn't help but preen at his sibling's words. He had a feeling that, whenever they managed to meet, Arata and Kasuka would get along well. Then again, maybe he was biased, he did care deeply about both of them.

"As for your suggestion to spend the day together…" Kasuka looked up at him, eyes shining, and smiled. "I think that's a wonderful idea."

Unknown Number: You can't hide forever, Izaya.

As soon as he saw the number, Izaya felt his heart freeze in his chest. He practically threw the phone away, making his cat Meiko jump and let out a confused mewl, worried about her owner.

Izaya barely noticed as he struggled to stay standing. He could already feel his panic building, his vision fading in and out in the edges.

Two years… Two long years in Sapporo. This was the longest he had managed to stay in one place. Before then, he had been moving around from once a week to every few months.

"Why?" He demanded the phone. "Why do you have to do this? Why can't you just leave me alone?! I… I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, I just want to live in peace!"

That hopeless feeling returned to him, one he always felt when he was close to getting discovered. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how careful he was, they always seemed to find him.

He didn't even know who they were most of the time. He assumed they were old clients or just gang members who didn't like him and somehow heard he had survived. They would try to catch him so they could kill him.

What was the point? He wondered. Why did they want to kill him so badly? To get back at him? For pleasure? Just to say that they had? He wasn't sure, maybe it was a combination of all three.

Izaya took a deep breath and grabbed his crutches, dragging himself over to the window near the kitchen. He picked up one of the potted plants, lifting the fake plastic leaves up to reveal a stash of hidden cash.

He took it out and began to count. It wasn't much, but it would be enough if he had to run again. If these men turned out to be as persistent as others in the past, he would need to be prepared to run the second they showed their faces in Sapporo.

The ex-informant broker was nowhere near rich anymore. All his money had been given away, specifically to make amends. He paid for college for Kadota, Saki, Anri, and Mikado, He paid off Shizuo's debts, he left a bunch of money for Shinra and his sisters, bought rare manga and left van money for Kadota and his gang, he used nearly all of it.

He didn't care that he practically left himself with nothing, he just wanted to get rid of the tainted money. He regretted his past life so much, even though he knew he could never make up for the pain he caused. That was why he allowed most of the world to think him dead. They deserved the happiness at the idea of him burning in hell, like he should be.

Perhaps his old self was, he couldn't be sure. Those years ago felt like centuries now. He was no longer Orihara Izaya, he was Saitou Arata. That was all he wanted, to live the remainder of his life peacefully…

His phone buzzed again, and he couldn't stop himself from checking the message.

Unknown Number: We'll find you, even if you run. When we do, you're dead.

His hands shuddered as he dropped the phone in his lap. He grabbed at his long strands of hair and tugged.

"I should just run now… Get away before they can catch me…" He glanced at the potted plant again. "If I go now, then maybe…"

Before he could make a firm plan, someone's face flashed through his eyes. Osata… His brown hair and brown eyes, that handsome smile…

Damn it! Why did he have to find someone to care for? Why did he let himself get close!?

"I've been sloppy. I got too careless…" He whispered hatefully. "And now… Fuck, I can't just leave, can I? I can't leave Osata…"

It would be safer to leave, for both him and Osata. But could he go through with it? He wasn't sure. Despite only knowing the man for a short time, he felt a connection to him… Something he hadn't felt since his rivalry with Shizuo.

Izaya sighed and leaned back on the couch. "I'm so selfish, aren't I?" He whispered. "I'm putting Osata in danger. He's just a simple man, he doesn't need to get involved with this… But I don't want to leave him."

The phone buzzed again. One last message.

Unknown Number: Nobody will care enough to save you.

Osata would… Izaya thought, remembering the feeling of their lips together, bodies embracing. He could tell Osata had the same feelings as him.

A simple fling was turning into something more… Something like love. Not the disgusting love he had claimed to have when he was obsessed with humans. True, genuine love.

Looking at the message one last time, Izaya sighed and powered down the phone. He would have to change his number, maybe get a new phone if he could afford it.

He limped to the kitchen, opening one of his drawers, and pulling out his switchblade. One of the few things he hadn't gotten rid of from his time in Ikebukuro. Even holding it gave him flashbacks to those times. The fight, the stab to his side, the gun, the grenade…

The ex-informant shuddered. He hated this knife, but he couldn't get rid of it. He needed it, it was all he had if someone were to come for him.

With a modicum of hesitation, Izaya shoved it into his hoodie pocket.

He wouldn't leave Sapporo just yet, but he would make sure that if anyone managed to track him down, he could protect himself.

The movie crew, including Kasuka and Ruri, departed early the next morning. He would have missed them completely, but his little brother made sure to wake him so they could say goodbye.

"Take care of yourself, Shizuo. And make sure to call often. I'll visit when I can." His little brother promised.

Shizuo gave him one last hug, and a nod. "I will, you make sure to call me too. Keep me posted about the movie, and let me know when you're back in Ikebukuro. I'll try to visit too."

With the final farewell, he watched the cars surrounded by paparazzi drive off to the airport. Once he was alone, Shizuo turned and stared around the hotel room in amazement.

He was really doing it. For the first time in his life, he was leaving Ikebukuro. He was moving on, to Sapporo, to Arata.

The sound of his phone buzzing caught his attention, and he pulled it out to see a text from his brother.

Kasuka: I forgot to mention. I will keep you updated on apartments, and let you know if I find one that fits your budget. Until then, make sure to enjoy the hotel.

Shizuo: Don't worry, Kasuka. I'll make sure all those complimentary breakfasts are eaten in honor of you!

Once he sent the text, he moved back to see all his other conversations. Celty, Shinra, Kadota… Should he text them and let them know? It would only be fair, since they were his friends, right?

He knew that's what he should do, but that's not what he wanted to do. More than anything, he wanted to see Arata. He wanted to tell the man how his conversation with his brother had gone, and shower him with affection. It was thanks to Arata such a conversation even happened, after all.

After wasting time flipping through channels and browsing his phone, the sun finally began to set. He eagerly got up, knowing that Arata's shift would start soon, and walked to the fancy club in town.

After a few days of visiting, the staff seemed to recognize them. They let him in without protest, and he immediately made his way to the piano room. He rounded the corner, prepared to hear the lovely music once more.

It was empty…

He stopped abruptly, and frowned. What? Where was Arata?

Shizuo wandered aimlessly for a while before he managed to track down an employee. (They were dressed as fancy as the people in the club, it was hard to tell them apart) and asked them about Arata.

"The piano player? Oh, he doesn't work today. It's his day off."

Shit! Shizuo wanted to bash his head into a wall and berate his own stupidity. He didn't even have Arata's number! How the hell was he supposed to see him if he wasn't working?

Upset, he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out of the club. As he walked down the stairs at the front, he let out a sigh. "I'll try again tomorrow I guess…"

"Why try tomorrow? I'm right here."

Shizuo spun around so quickly, he was surprised he didn't get whiplash. There, standing near the front of the club, was Arata. He was wearing more casual clothes. Some black pants and a blue hoodie, but Shizuo would recognize those beautiful eyes no matter what.

Arata smiled up at him, his cheeks a bright pink. "I had a feeling I'd find you here…"

Uncaring of the people around him, Shizuo hurried forward and pulled Arata into a kiss. They lingered for several seconds before they pulled away, gasping for air.

"I'm staying in Sapporo." Shizuo declared, feeling braver than ever.

He noticed that Arata looked at him with shock, and another emotion he couldn't discern. It vanished quickly, and was replaced with a wide smile. "I'm glad. I would have missed you a lot."

The ex-bodyguard took Arata's hand, and gave him a smile of his own. "Would you like to spend the night with me? Then tomorrow, before your shift, we can enjoy a whole day together."

Arata stared at their hands for a moment, and then leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. "I think that's a perfect way to celebrate your moving here, Osata-Chan."

Shizuo felt a flash of guilt as they started walking towards the hotel. In his hurry to find Arata, he had forgotten about his fake identity. He couldn't have that. If he was really staying here, he needed to be honest with his lover.

But then the selfish thoughts returned. What if when he revealed himself, Arata hated him? What if he thought that Shizuo was a monster? No, he couldn't lose Arata, not now.

He mulled over it for a moment as they arrived at the hotel. He knew the sooner he admitted the truth, the better… But he didn't want to ruin the happiness of the moment.

As they made it to the room, and embraced each other once more, Shizuo made his decision.

Tomorrow.

I will tell Arata the truth tomorrow.

After an amazingly euphoric night, Shizuo had almost forgotten about his promise.

When he woke up, he found himself spooning a slumbering Arata. He was still too skinny, but so was Shizuo. He'd make sure they both ate better, if Arata still accepted him after he told the truth.

For a while, he just lied there and let them both rest. He couldn't help it, laying with his lover like this, it just felt natural.

Eventually the silence was broken as Arata began to stir. The piano player's pale hand gently reached up, holding Shizuo's hands in his own.

"Good morning, Osata-kun."

Shizuo smiled. He wondered if his real name would sound just as beautiful when it came from Arata's voice. "Good morning, Arata-kun."

Slowly, he allowed them to separate as he scooted to the edge of the bed. "What do you think we should do first? Maybe get some breakfast from the hotel?"

Arata followed him, grabbing for his clothes, pants and undergarments, near the edge of the bed. "Hmm… How about we go to a restaurant? I didn't get to show you my favorite places last time we met."

"Sounds good to me!" Shizuo eagerly agreed, he bed Arata had wonderful taste. "Let's freshen up and head out." I can tell him the truth there too.

Arata's shirt and hoodie had somehow ended up on Shizuo's side, so the ex-bodyguard moved to pick them up and give them to his now nearly dressed lover.

As he lifted the hoodie, he felt the clothing's weight lessen as something dropped and clattered to the ground. "Hm?" Shizuo's brown eyes followed the item as he knelt down, and picked it up.

It was a switchblade. He frowned, examining it curiously. Why would Arata need a switchblade? He brought it closer, and then froze.

Memories flash in front of his eyes. That flea smirking, slashing at him with that switchblade for years. It changed again. To when his mortal enemy tried to kill him, their fight, Varona, the gun, the grenade..

He recognized this switchblade.

He knew who it belonged to.

Shizuo turned his wide eyes to Arata, and felt his world spin. Oh my god, oh my god… How hadn't he seen it before? He had been in such denial, but he knew exactly who he was staring at now.

"Izaya?!"

His lover- his enemy -stared back at him for a moment, horrified at the mention of the name. Then, those terrified eyes widened even more, as the bastard finally made the connection.

"Shizuo?!"