There Is (No) Hope

by BardInTheForest

Shinji Ikari was not a young man that lived an easy life. Each good that the universe teased him with was typically met with a greater evil. Now the only pilot capable of fielding an Evangelion against a series of reborn Angels, he will have to adapt to new allies and new foes. The world has changed, and there is no running away from it anymore.

44. Chapter 44

+++++ Hikawa Shrine, Azabu-Juban, Japan. (Friday + 13)

Haruka stood outside of Shinji's tree, leaning back against one of the two doors that led into the area proper. She was far too angry to go inside and see him at the moment. Not angry with him, he'd done exactly what she'd expect him to do every time he was faced with that type of a situation. She'd long since understood the nature of the man. No, she was angry with a few key individuals. Individuals who would not be allowed entry to the tree, would not be allowed time with Shinji, would not be afforded more than a brief window to defend themselves verbally before they had to defend themselves physically.

It was fortunate for everyone that the first person to approach her was not one of those people on her shit-list. Mizore drifted close, lowering her voice to be respectful of those people attempting to sleep, "We have canvassed the entire area. The tracks they left end just behind here, which could mean any number of things. The air moves about too much to follow them by scent, and the traces they have left behind throughout the shrine itself confound easy detection of more recent movements. I do not ask this lightly, is it possible for me and perhaps another few of my distant kin to search the tree without…unduly bothering him?"

There was power to be wielded in asking as she had. The act of placing Shinji's wellbeing above the others, but only as far as was needed to stop from further harming him while they searched for a woman who was now literally the last of her kind, demonstrated that the yuki-onna held him in the highest regard. "I'd steer clear of his room, but you were going to do that anyway. Keep the noise down, yeah?"

"Indeed." She went to move on, then recalled herself and paused, looking back at Haruka. "You have my heartfelt sympathies for your loss. Kith or kin, she was one of your own. I pray she died without undue pain, and that we can soon go on the offensive and begin repaying people for what they've done."

The door Haruka wasn't leaning against opened, disgorging an angered Kyoko Soryu. The small General stopping her forward progress when she noted two of those who were considered 'Shinji's friends'. "We're not going to get much from him tonight. Combat stress, physical fatigue, hyperarousal, and enough internal injuries to kill anyone else. He's made some sort of discovery as to what it is that he is, and it seems that our enemy isn't going to honor the one week bargain they made. I need to go work with the Mujina to enhance our defenses. Tenou-san, if you could please send a runner to come find me when he manages to calm down enough that he can talk without hurting…." Her words trailed off, and she glared at a point far distant from the shrine. "Please. Thank you." Her piece said, she stormed off to do what had to be done.

Haruka shook her head when Mizore looked towards her, one eyebrow raised. "You know how you're always saying that you suck at diplomacy? That one there doesn't understand interpersonal relationships that aren't based on common ground. She's used to dealing with military, or administrators, or even scientists that are in charge of huge projects. If someone in her team gets injured, she has people who handle it. Now she has to deal with feeling what he feels, and not having the ability to simply shoot the thing that's causing him pain just makes dealing with it that much harder."

"I'll agree with her that it's not easy caring for someone who has an entire army of women eager to do the same." Mizore smirked, remembering her own past with some shame. "We will be as silent as possible, Skymother. If someone has to enter his room, it will be me. I'm fairly talented at not being seen, and will have you get permission before I do so."

+++++ Hikawa Shrine, Azabu-Juban, Japan. (Friday + 13)

The light in the room had been dimmed at Temple's urging, the corpsman working feverishly to get as much data as possible while also providing the best care she had to give to a man that bled honor. By general, and silent, agreement the conversation had been moved away from 'weighty' topics. He'd reached another point of stasis, where the tears and sobbing had finally ebbed, and none of them wanted to be responsible for restarting them. "I'm going to have to find some pharmaceutical data for him," Temple announced with more than a small note of hope in her voice. "The IPA he gave me tested out strong enough to sanitize well past clean room guidelines. I was able to get an entire month's worth of kits sterilized and ready to go, and I still have most of the only barrel I tapped!"

Yukiko, still seated across Shinji's ankles, made a motion of approval. "I agree with your plan, there. He understands innately how to blend several skillsets together to create chemical reactions. Having him ready the varying medicines that we will require is an excellent use of his strength, and will help him see how very important he is to us."

"Right?" Temple gave the tiny woman a broad smile. "I was speaking with one of the yuki-onna that was tasked to help me, and they've been working to produce the saline I'm using here. They can change the salinity, add glucose, any number of basic things. I've taken to giving them half of my rations to make up the difference. Stocking up is worth skipping a few meals." Turning herself sideways and lifting her arms up to shoulder level, she showed off her bodyline to the other two women present. "I've lost a bit of that spare tire I've been lugging around in the deal, so I really can't complain."

"I know, right?" Rei held Shinji's head atop her stomach, gently running her fingertips through his hair. "I haven't had a cookie in a week, and with all the running around I've been doing I'm down a full kilogram already. We'll definitely want to stockpile medicines. The anti-anxiety I take has been a huge help, and I'm down to half a bottle. If the alcohol he made you is as good as you say it is, maybe any medicine he makes me will also be super effective."

With the last of his wounds properly cleaned, and the materials put in a bowl to be disposed of properly, Temple looked at the young Sailor with some concern. "What is it you take? Some medications you really shouldn't just stop cold, it can cause nasty side-effects."

"Amitriptyline chlordiazepoxide."

"Ok…ok," she nodded to herself, "you've been taking it a while?" After Rei nodded, she relaxed some. "I'd really like to have a sit down with all of you, one on one, so that I can build a medical record. I know that we've got access to magical healing for extreme situations but I'd really rather not become so over-reliant on that. Knowing what you're taking, what you're allergic to, stuff like that. I'm going to have to find a way to secure everyone's charts while still having them available to the right people."

"I…can make a cabinet that only you can open." Shinji's voice was hoarse, a fact that he was growing increasingly tired of. He hadn't wanted to say anything, afraid that Rei would insist he move if he was 'well enough to speak', but he also wasn't willing to ignore medical issues. "I've been trying to think of a way to make it so my door will only open for certain people. I think I can create semi-biological ferro-kinetic materials that read specific chemicals. Everyone's biochemistry is unique, to a point. With the right kind of tinkering, I think…maybe."

Temple eagerly jumped on the idea, though her desire to get him talking again was the main motivator. "Well, I'll never accuse you of not being smart enough to do something like that. Everyone has their talents, but you have the type of imagination that a lot of the inventors I studied in school had. That lets you take your talents and apply them creatively, given enough time to work."

Hating himself, he tried to sit up. He had things to do, and wallowing in his own pathetic disgrace wasn't going to help them get done. When Rei curled her fingers in his hair, setting her other hand on his shoulder and pushing him back onto her belly, all he could do was make a small sound of confusion.

"I'm not done having you here with me," she answered with calm force. "The rest of the world can go hang for a while. Your barrier is in place, nothing can get in to hurt us here. That means I can take comfort in having you here for a while longer. Besides, you haven't eaten yet and Yuki-chan isn't looking like she's going to let you get up either."

"Upon the advice of your attending physician, I am to act as a restraint against any efforts on your part to do further damage to yourself." Yukiko patted his shin pleasantly. "Every living being we could save is now here with us, and I believe you and I will both know well in advance of any attempts by the 'Angels' to breach our defenses. This is not 'leisure' that you are enduring, it is recovery. What good will it do us if you break yourself right now? Hmm?"

"It would be much better to have you lay down with me for a while," Rei urged him. "Let your body recover, let us draw strength from each other, and let Temple-san ensure that you aren't going to hurt yourself further by ignoring physical pain."

"Akagi-san is in the process of making a nice thick soup," Temple chimed in. "General Soryu is coordinating our defensive layers. We're a unit, Ikari-san. We have to trust our shipmates to handle their ropes while we handle ours, otherwise all we're doing is a bunch of jobs poorly instead of a few jobs with excellence."

Faced with three people he felt were far more knowledgeable than he was, all arguing that the best thing for him to do was to lay down and heal, there was a large part of his mind that began to allow himself to do just that. The part that had been trained to obey. To listen to people in charge. To not think for himself. His typical frown darkened, his brow knitting itself tight.

Unexpectedly, it was again Temple that noticed what was about to happen before either of the two women with a closer view of his heart. "Do not make me order you confined to quarters, Mister," the tone of command from the junior NCO was unmistakable. "As the presiding medical officer on this vessel, I have absolute authority over who is and is not seaworthy. You, at this moment, are nowhere near ready to deploy. I am not belittling your valor; I am not saying you are weak. I am telling you, right now, warrior to warrior, that I will not allow you to jeopardize your health because you are too damn stubborn to see sense when it's caressing your scalp. Have I made myself understood?"

Shinji's growl reverberated throughout the room. He was not going to sit there and waste time whining like a baby when the monster responsible for killing ninety nine percent of humanity was-

"Please don't treat your doctor like that," Rei's request was delivered with the same gentle disposition that she'd used the entire conversation. A light tug on his hair brought the fires in his gaze to bear on her. "I understand that you hate sitting idle. That you want to hunt down and murder the people who took our world from us, that murdered our allies, that ruined our civilization. Temple-san is not one of those people, nor could she ever be." She had made her decision, and she would now present it to him so that he might make his own. "I…would like to pursue a more formalized relationship between you and I." The shift in his demeanor from snarling hound to poleaxed calf was almost comical enough to bring a laugh from her to the fore. "Each hour that goes past us is another new series of tragedies. Each minute we spend dithering is another minute closer to the next fight against terrible odds. Each second that I deny the way you and I complement one another is another second that we could be spending leaning on one another. I believe that we can speak more on this later, in private…but for now, I would like to know that my boyfriend is the type of man to listen to reason, no matter the source."

Everything about him deflated. His anger, his disgust, his sorrow, his desire to fight against the physical contact he had with Rei Hino. The world around him grew silent, once again, as his mind instead orbited the realization that he had just been claimed by a woman that not two weeks past had considered him wholly unacceptable to even exist near. A woman that was, once again, holding his head against her belly, stroking his hair comfortingly. A woman that had asked him to stay where he was, to allow her to lean on him. She wasn't some shrinking violet; she wasn't weak like he was. She was a warrior forged of fire and iron, and if she thought his place was here…then here was his place.

+++++ Hikawa Shrine, Azabu-Juban, Japan. (Friday + 13)

Naoko had chosen not to linger inside after delivering the soup she'd made. Temple had made a hasty retreat after she saw Rei begin to feed Shinji, and Yukiko had surreptitiously indicated that the situation would be handled. There was a new air in his bedroom, one that she was not displeased to feel either. With the door safely closed, and Rei and Shinji alone, she looked to Yukiko with a hopeful smile. "Is there some good coming out of this fecal hurricane?"

"Hino-san flat out stated that she would like to formalize the relationship between them," Temple answered with a shrug and a lost look. "I never heard him accept, and I didn't know she was even in the running. Word about camp is that you had more of an inside edge, or perhaps the foreigner. There were some assumptions that Tsukino-san already had him wrapped up, as well."

"There are many things you have missed during your self-enforced absence," Yukiko replied drolly. Turning to answer Naoko's question, she shook her head slowly. "It's as much a mystery to me as it is to you, honestly. His first reaction to her statement was fear of inadequacy. If I were to guess, she is not proposing what he thinks she is proposing, nor is she advancing the proposition he fears she might be. She would like to be more firmly in his life, for what remains of her own."

"And as to who else may be there with her…." Naoko sighed, seeing the same pitfalls that Yukiko saw. "At least he's eating without complaint."

Temple looked between the two women, growing more worried each second the silence lingered on. "Wait, she's not…I mean, I've heard the rumors that…."

"There will be an extremely limited number of women that will receive some small amount of permissions to do anything with him." She speared the corpsman with a hard glance. "Those few will be given those permissions out of necessity, not any prurient desires on his part. Nor, however, will they be forced upon him. Hino-chan is quite likely to be very…circumspect in offering positions to people."

"He likes you," Yukiko added, far more warmly than Naoko would have, "as a person. He has thoughts about many women, this is quite true. But he refuses to even begin to act on those thoughts if the thoughts themselves are all there is. To him, 'begin' means 'admit to himself that there's attraction'. If you do not wish to involve yourself with him, he will not hold it against you." She giggled. "Though if you want him to hold it against you, nobody would blame you."

"What I'm worried about, ma'am, is that he's very vulnerable right now. Psychologically, emotionally, spiritually vulnerable." Temple frowned at both women. "I don't want someone abusing that vulnerability with only their own needs in mind!"

Naoko rolled her eyes. "I really wish I could understand the hang-ups religious people have around sex. For pity's sake, the man goes around creating physical improbabilities with a wave of his hand. Do you honestly think that it matters who he's sticking it in during the spare time he has between fighting against metaphysical constructs? He's doing enough worrying on his own over the matter, he doesn't need someone who can't understand his perspective coming in and ramming theology's nonsense where it doesn't belong."

"Considering his soul itself is at stake, I should think it matters a great deal what he does!"

"What soul?" Yukiko's question, asked with exaggerated innocence, drew both women's attention. Naoko was curious, Temple aghast, but both were now silent. "That's a serious question, dear. What soul?"

"His…his eternal soul."

"He doesn't have one." The tiny lady walked across the open air to near Naoko. "Terribly sorry, dear, but this is going to sting a bit." With a faint grasping motion that never came near touching anything, she pulled a semi-visible substance out of the doctor's chest that held the consistency of the thinnest strands of spider's silk. While Naoko herself didn't cry out in pain, it was very evident that pain was present. "This? This thing you believe to be some sort of permanent fixture?" She released her grip on it, allowing it to snap back into place in Naoko's chest. "It's not a soul. It's not even permanent, let alone eternal. It's a tightly compacted quantum matrix that tethers the disparate electrochemical reactions in a body together towards a single cognitive reality. When the electrochemical reactions stop, the matrix itself is recalled to its point of origin and dissolved into something that resembles blood-scented corn syrup. You have a few matrices here and there that can maintain enough cohesion to assert their own independence from the gestalt, certainly, but ultimately what happens in the twinkling of an eye between your birth and your death really only matters about as much as the people it happens around wish for it to matter."

Temple blinked, taken aback at the bland, matter-of-fact tone Yukiko used. "How…how can…."

"Because I'm well aware of the nature of the man responsible for the creation of this particular reality, dear. The last thing he'd want is to be called 'God'." There was kindness in her tone, sympathy in her bearing, as she tried to ease the truth of their existence into Temple's mind. "He is a kind, loving, beast of a man. He has gone through the worst pains imaginable and come out the other side searching for ways to make everything better for everyone. He has erased countless lives from existence to spare countless more from the horrible fate of living under the boot of a maniac with power equal to his own. He will erase this existence if we can't bring everything here back to some reasonable semblance of stability."

"I'm going to politely ask that you don't do that again," Naoko grumbled, rubbing at the spot where her animating force had been stretched out from. "Or I'll tell Shinji and have him spank you."

"I did say I was sorry," she pouted. Both women watched as Temple's mouth silently worked, watched as she turned and walked away, and watched as the door closed behind her. Her voice demonstrated her fatigue as she offered, "She'll find a way to maintain her faith in her religion. After all, there's always the fallacy of infinite regression to fall back upon."

"Turtles all the way down," she agreed with a sigh. "There are days where I wish I had that kind of faith in anything, myself."

"It is likely a very pleasant way to live. To have that one brilliant star to guide your ship by; something that, right or wrong, is forever unchanging." Yukiko shrugged. "Some manage to live their life happily that way. Some do not."

+++++ Hikawa Shrine, Azabu-Juban, Japan. (Friday + 13)

If she were to be brutally honest with herself, Rei Hino did not believe that she would ever have found someone that she would feel as much pure joy at caring for as she did with Shinji. The way that he laid against her, neither devoid of nor flooded with interest, made it so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that she could make everything work between them. That all he'd ever need was her. With the soup inside of him where it belonged, the bowl and spoon set aside on a nearby table, and her fingers savoring the sensation of running through his hair, she fought against her own selfish desires to do what had to be done. That mindset informed her response when she heard Shinji say something unexpected.

"I'm…I'm afraid." The words were whispered by Shinji with firm conviction. It was clear that pride wasn't what stopped him from expounding on the premise, but the fear of his fears being used against him.

"Of what?" Fear was something she could attack. Something she could put her energy towards without overcomplicating everything.

For the first time since she'd laid by him, he slipped his arms around her body and held her in return. "Of what I'll do."

Thinking 'in Shinji' was something she believed she would have to work hard at. Even with how well she understood him, and with the reading she'd done of late to try and better grasp the challenges and struggles he had, he just had a way of phrasing thoughts that inadvertently led people to make some very incorrect assumptions. Her first thought was that he was afraid of what he'd do to her. It was silly, and a vestige of her own complicated history, and she dismissed it with irritation. Her second thought was that he was afraid of what he had to do to keep everyone alive. Afraid of the choices he'd have to make, of the sacrifices he'd have to endure. He had just jumped in to try and save Minako, because that was what he did. He leapt into danger to save other people. With a woman waiting for him to come home, it made sense that he would be afraid of the repercussions of combat. "I think you'll do what you feel is best. I want…I need you to understand that I am not going to judge you poorly for that. You gave everything you had to try and save her. Every time we've failed to save someone, whether it was me killing the creature that had taken over Makoto, or you having to stop Khlorya from using Minako…or even Usagi having to stop Ami-chan…." She clutched him closer, drawing strength from how he was trying to take strength from her. "That's why I asked if you wanted to formalize things between us. I know I said we should take time, and I meant it then as much as now…but…." She groaned in frustration. It would be so easy for her to simply let things exist as they were at the moment. She didn't need anything more than this, and everyone else could go jump off a cliff for all she cared.

The switch from 'nervous and hesitant' Shinji to 'murderous' Shinji shattered the moment. He had sensed motion in his room, motion that wasn't through the door or at his side. Disappearing from the bed, launching himself towards the far corner while clad in the black carapace of Unit-01 and wielding a pair of flaming labrys, he only narrowly averted further tragedy by millimeters. Each axe came to a grinding halt beside his target's neck, the decapitation strike called off at the last moment. The Laws screamed in his mind, howling for him to reject what his body had chosen. Conflicting impulses prevented him from removing his weapons from her throat. His sanctum had been violated, his own Words had dictated the fate of the trespasser. He could not deny judgement, but he would not dispense that judgement himself. "Daphne…I need…."

The Dryad, the last of her kind, the last of her peoples, the last of the Elysians, looked upon the face of Death itself without any fear. Her voice was fragile, her tone pained beyond hope, "Please, I beg of you for sacred xenia. I am without hearth, without home. I have travelled far from the lands of my people, under a banner of peace, and suffered terribly at the hands of strangers. Please…."

Law processed through every fiber of his being, faster than light, faster than thought. A plea for hospitality, for shelter from ruination, was only invalid if the one requesting would not offer the same in return. He remembered laying in Elysium, remembered announcing her child, remembered her attempt at…at hugging him. At giving him shelter. Carefully levering his axes away from her body, recalling them to his sides, lowering them to where they were no longer threatening anyone, and dropping them to the floor, he let out a deep breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. "My hearth and home are yours, for so long as you have need of them."

Collapsing into his arms with a wailing sob, Daphne made a valiant effort at explaining what had happened. The level of tragedy, from her perspective, was far too much for her to bear. So much, in fact, that nothing she said was even remotely intelligible.

More laws began to be processed through Shinji's mind, though none that were considered magical constants. Here, in his arms, was another woman. A woman that was not the one who just asked him to be her boyfriend. A woman that was crying, suffering, in desperate need of assistance. All of this was on his face as he turned to look over his shoulder to Rei with immense confusion as to what he should do.

To Rei, that look alone would have clinched his place in her heart. He wasn't just a good man when it was convenient. He hadn't forgotten her, or pushed her aside. Shinji Ikari was a good man in total, in truth, and in deed. "Why don't you bring her over here, she looks like she's about to collapse." She'd been looking for any sign of the woman since Yukiko said she was missing. Not once had she thought to look in Shinji's room, if for no other reason than the fact that anyone entering his room without him present was asking to die. Her heart was glad when Shinji scooped Daphne up, carrying her over to lay down on his gurney. Her heart was desolate that Daphne had lost her husband. What occurred to her just as he laid Daphne down to rest caused her heart to seize and her mind to clench, "Go…go get Yukiko-san! Quickly!"

There were trails of thick, viscous, fluid running down the dryad's legs.

+++++ Hikawa Shrine, Azabu-Juban, Japan. (Friday + 13)

Shinji stood in his dining room, his helmet resting on the table, his gauntleted hands struggling to not destroy the back of the chair he was gripping. A towering force of nature, his blackened armor radiating his rage outwards, there could be no doubt upon looking at him that he was now what he had always been meant to be. "What I want, right now, is for the murderer to be brought to me. When she is able to speak, when…someone with more training than me speaks with her, I want to know whose entrails I am going to use to decorate the gardens with. I am going to use their skull and ribcage to make windchimes. I am going to braid their hair into a rope, and I am going to use it to hang their skin from a tree. Then, and only then, will I consider allowing them to die."

Naoko blew out a heavy breath. "I had meant, Master, what did you want to drink? You're still recovering from Greenland, and whatever it is you plan to do you're going to want to have enough energy to do it."

His jaw creaked. "…Sorry."

"Don't be." Stepping up onto the chair he was holding, she placed her palms on his cheeks and gave him a level look. "You had better believe that when you go to do this, I will be right there with you to hand you whatever implements you need. Killing her husband is one thing, but taking her unborn child is a completely different level of evil. You and I are of a mind on this, children are sacrosanct."

The feel of her hands on his face was deliciously cooling. Her temper ran cold, where his was hot. She wasn't looking to stop him, only direct him towards the right target. "Do we have any orange juice?"

Shifting to her tiptoes, she planted a soft kiss on his lips before turning away and hopping back off the chair. "It's frozen concentrate, but it's what we have available. I grabbed some from the quartermaster intending to give some to you if you'd take it." Rummaging in the kitchen for what she needed, she kept up her stream of thoughts, "Orange juice is a good way to replace fluids naturally. I'd rather give you fresh, because it's always better that way, but even the concentrate is good enough for our purposes."

The mundane topic served the purpose he supposed she wanted it to. His temper began to settle, though the wrath remained. Taking off his gauntlets, he set them down by the helmet of Unit-01. "Do we have any suspects? When I saw what Yukiko was afraid of me finding out, I was too…head up my own ass to put my own shit aside to-"

"Creeping closer to a slapping," Haruka announced as she walked inside the dining room from the entry hall. "You know I'll do it, and I don't care how angry you are when I do."

He couldn't quite manage a glower, considering who it would have been aimed at, but he did hold his hands up slightly in a sign of grudging disagreement. "I'm just trying to say that I'm not the person who's suffering the most, Haru-chan. I just met Minako a week or so ago, and Rei was comforting me! Daphne loses her husband, loses her unborn child, was apparently witness to Inari's murder…look at me and tell me that I was doing the right thing by lying in there like a child when the murderer is still out there somewhere."

The statuesque Sailor walked over and grinned up at him, her victory assured. "You were a patient, needing to recover after a serious injury. I'm allowing you out of bed right now because I'd have to hurt you worse to put you back into one. Don't push it, and I won't have to sit on you until you do what I say." Shifting aside slightly when Naoko brought him a large glass of juice, she tipped her head towards the liquid. "Drink up. You and I are going hunting once that's empty. Neither of us are happy with what's happened, both of us are people who need to be doing when bad things are afoot. You follow my lead out there, and I won't tell Michi-chan about your slip up just now."

Pausing mid-sip, he raised an eyebrow at her. His gaze was flat and unamused. "What slip up?"

"How does she feel about threats? Even those directed at people who deserve them?"

His eyes rolled towards the ceiling, and he knocked back the entire glass in two gulps. After setting the glass down, he gestured to the door. "Despite her being all too willing to throw them around like candy?" His attention turned to Naoko for a moment. "Please send someone to find me if there is anything she needs that you can't arrange for. Thank you…for reminding me that I'm not alone."

"Not so long as I remain honest with you," Naoko responded with a fond smile. "I have everything in hand, Master. Good hunting."

Haruka watched as Shinji retrieved his gauntlets and helm, tilting her head curiously before moving to the door as he requested. "So…why are they sometimes separate from you, and sometimes inside of you?"

"No clue." His voice was slightly distorted by the helmet of Unit-01, "A lot of what I do is based on what I want done. It's like speaking, to me. The reason I can now speak is because this damn Crystal helped me understand what I am. Problem is, it's been silent since it managed that. No clue what to do with it, but I'm not letting it out of my sight until I do know." He followed along to where Haruka was headed, not questioning her decisions or rights to set their course. "I think about taking them off so I can use my own hands, or use my mouth, and they come off when I pull. When it disappears into my body…it's just a matter of me wanting it to not be there anymore. I can't really explain it better than," when they stepped outside, Shinji was greeted with what was apparently the main reason Haruka had come to get him, "…that."

Sarah McDougal was standing just outside the tree, leaning on a cane and speaking to one of the burlier sailors from General Soryu's detachment. When she saw Shinji, her mouth quirked off to the side in a smirk and her eyebrow raised. "Black? Really?"

There was something about her demeanor that avoided any possible taint of negativity about her teasing. The person she was, the way she treated him, it all helped him see that it was possible to interact with someone like Misato Katsuragi without curling in on himself like some thorny hedgehog. "I thought I needed to be in mourning, since my live-in partner was playing dead."

Her eyes widened and her smile brightened to enthusiastic cheer. "You can speak?!" When she took her first wobbling step towards him, intending to hug him to display exactly how happy she was that he'd found his voice, she had to pull up short due to Unit-01 materializing in front of her to steady her. A quick thwack to his calf with her cane and she snorted, "I'm fine, goof. I'm just really tired."

"Then you should be resting." He kept hold of her shoulders, his enormous gauntlets cupping them with far more care than it seemed possible given the mass of the machine. "The last thing I need right now is to be responsible for you hurting yourself."

"Then you can carry me." She looked up into Unit-01's monstrous gaze, unafraid and uncompromising. "I let you out of my sight for a day or so, and suddenly you're my knight in much-less shining armor. I brought over this guy to have a look at you," she gestured back towards the patiently waiting sailor, "because I doubted you had anyone look at this," she poked one of the larger dents in Unit-01's plating, "and I told you I was not going to let you die for lack of maintenance. So you have two choices: you can carry me wherever you're going after letting him take a look at you, or I can stump along behind you and thwack you with my cane until you carry me wherever you're going after letting him take a look at you."

The sailor, Suzuki by the tag on his uniform, shrugged his shoulders when he felt Shinji's gaze land on him. "She's a slight pixie of a lady, sir, but I'd take her threat seriously. Seems the type to keep true to her word."

You are not your armor. The voice of the Crystal faintly sang in his heart, You can leave it in the care of this metalsmith, and still be about your business.

Shinji jumped at the chance to engage in dialogue with the entity, What am I supposed to do with you though? Should I just carry you around like I am? He waited several seconds. Hello? When silence was all that greeted him, he had to fight the urge to rip his helmet off and spike it into the ground in frustration. Slowly removing it, instead, he looked at the sailor with his own eyes. "Do you honestly believe you have the materials necessary to repair this?" He offered the helmet to the man.

Firmly grasping the hunk of metal, turning it this way and that, the sailor gave it a professional inspection. "Metal seems…pliable. It looks like it's trying to heal." He tapped a section near the hinge on the jaw restraint. "Problem is, nothing's holding it in place for it to properly adhere itself. Yeah, yeah I think I can at least give it some field repairs. Might not be able to restore it to factory code, but I certainly could at least work the dents out."

"You seem…strangely unfazed by self-healing metal."

The man shrugged. "Sir, I've seen you rip holes in the air that lead to other places around the world. I've seen women turn into giant spiders. I've watched the country I grew up in suddenly become consumed with mindless abominations. Pretty sure that odd metallurgy don't rate that high on my list of wonders anymore."

Shinji nodded slowly in agreement, the explanation making perfect sense to him. Looking back down towards Sarah, he thought back to what Usagi told him the night he'd…. "Will this make you happy?"

"No. But it'll be a good down payment on future happiness." She tapped his calf again with her cane. "If you promise to let him work on your armor, I'll promise to tell you what would make me happy so that you can work on it, if you want."

Dropping down to one knee, he evened the height difference between them enough that he could lower his voice to not be heard by anyone else. "Has someone told you about Naoko Akagi?"

"Yeah," Sarah nodded without any significant outward display of emotion, "I was going to have a chat with her. Lay down some boundaries, make sure that she understood that she and I were going to share responsibility for you. I don't care that she helps out, especially since having people take shifts would allow us to get some sleep from time to time. I do care that she just up and shoved herself into your life without talking to you about it first."

Her complete lack of concern eased his own concerns on the matter. By rights, Sarah had claimed Naoko's position first. That meant it was still her position, and he wanted to respect her rights in their entirety. "She…is now mostly immortal. So long as I live, she lives…so long as she doesn't knowingly lie to me. That was what knocked you out, the magic of her swearing that oath. I'm willing to let you do, or be, whatever it is that would make you happiest. I…I didn't have any friends where I'm from. Everything I've learned about friendship has come to me in the past two weeks. I will tell you that I enjoyed having you in the kitchen, even if your cooking wasn't the best. I liked knowing that you were there to stop people from overwhelming me. I…didn't like it when you got hurt, and I'm really worried that by staying around me the chances for you to get hurt are going to increase."

"So, you're ok with me doing or being whatever makes me happiest?" One eyebrow hitched up, her question formed with sincerity and calm. "And you like having me around. Both those are true?"

"Yeah. I like how you aren't…complicated. What I see is what I get." He completely missed the trap that had been set, his own sincerity not able to process the multiple meanings of the blank check he'd just given. "It's…comfortable? I'm probably not making much sense."

"No, I understand what you're saying." Leaning forward, she laced her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "I'm just glad to hear you say it out loud." When he carefully returned her embrace, she smiled in victory where he wasn't able to see. "I'm also not opposed to sharing you with Akagi-san, just so you know." She settled back, accepting his help in staying upright so that she could look him in the eyes as she cinched the noose. "I'm sure there are going to be a few women, no more than a handful or so, that are going to lay claim to positions around you. You need a lot of support, a lot of understanding, and a lot of patience. You accept me for what I am, and I accept that there is danger wherever I choose to exist. I'd rather face that danger at your side, instead of having to pick up a phone and hope that you aren't busy when it comes pounding on my door. So," with her smile at full charm, she hung him with the rope he'd given her, "can I move in?"

"I'll have to make a new area for you when I get back." Without knowing he was dangling from the proverbial tree, he accepted a fate he hadn't seen coming. "The layout is a little cramped. I don't know if you have much stuff, but I can probably make room for it."

"Great." Shifting her head forward, she kissed him lightly on the lips. "Then if you will go with the nice man to have him look at your armor, I'll go talk with Akagi-san and hash out an agreement with her on responsibilities." Turning about, she pointed her cane directly at the metalsmith. "If you run into trouble with anyone when you ask for materials, you come find me, you hear? If he doesn't have his armor to protect him, we don't have him to protect us."

"Aye aye, ma'am." There was no sass or argumentation in his response, but neither was there any sign of submission. The man knew his business, knew his worth, and was simply acknowledging that she clearly held the responsibility of Shinji's care and feeding. He was now in her playground, and he intended to play nice with the other kids. Waiting patiently for Shinji to look back to him, after he watched Sarah walk off, he asked as an aside to Haruka, "He didn't see it coming, did he?"

"Nope. It's part of his charm." The tall Sailor would have a talk with Sarah later, asking her to not push too hard for a few things just yet to keep everyone on an even keel. She wasn't upset, however, that the blonde spitfire had bulldozed her way into Shinji's life. He needed more people like that around, not fewer. "Don't spoil the surprise."

"Wouldn't dream of it, ma'am."

+++++ Hikawa Shrine, Azabu-Juban, Japan. (Friday + 13)

It was an hour or so later, after Shinji had removed Unit-01 piece by piece, that he had finally managed to leave the makeshift metal shop that had been set up in one corner of the Shrine. Somehow he wound up walking around the entire area with Haruka holding onto his arm comfortably. The incident with Sarah had culled much of his anger, and being freed of the weight of Unit-01 reduced the pressure on his temper in such a way that he was able to just enjoy walking around. He'd been asked to keep his mind open, to listen for anything 'odd', and several of the youkai that were actively hunting for the murderer stopped by from time to time to ask if he'd sensed anything in a specific area.

They were slowly scanning their gaze over one of the small tent cities that had been erected to keep people of similar cultures together when he broached a topic that had been on his mind the entire morning, "Am I a terrible person for not being a weeping mess about…them?" He glanced to Haruka, hoping that she wasn't about to judge him poorly. "In two weeks, we've lost so many allies. People that wanted to be…at least a friend, if not more. But here I am, with you on my arm and Rei taking care of Daphne in my room…am I doing this wrong?"

"No real right way to do it, kid." She laid her head down on his shoulder, inwardly glad that he asked instead of simply stewing in it. "Everyone has a different way of mourning, and so long as it isn't destructive to you or anyone else, I say do what feels right. If you're not mourning at all, it might just still be processing behind everything else that's happening. I try to keep my tears for late at night when nobody else is there. I cry ugly, and I prefer to do that when people can't see how imperfect I am. Don't worry, I'm keeping an eye on you. If I think something's off, I'll speak up."

The warmth of that statement spread through him. The trust it inferred and inspired pleasing his heart and soul. "I wish I remembered you better…. You deserve to be loved for who you are in total, instead of just what little I can recall."

It took her a second to process what he'd just said, her natural instincts fighting against her desire to keep him calm for the day. "Oh? So you think you love me?"

"Yes." What he felt for her he could safely say he did not feel for anyone else. Her presence in his life was irreplaceable.

Too many people would cheapen what he felt for her as just a product of a natural attraction to a young woman in great shape that had no qualms about palling around with someone. Too many people were idiots. His love for her wasn't a segue to anything. He wasn't professing his feelings in an effort to get in her pants. Many had tried, and she knew the signs well enough to see them from a mile away. If she turned the charm on, he'd probably cave. But that ball remained in her court to do anything with, and she'd guard it jealously from everyone and anyone she had to. "Good." She spied motion. "Incoming."

Shinji looked over to see who had decided to be brave enough to approach the man everyone knew was a freak, and wasn't shocked when it was Chris and Clare Redfield. He patted Haruka's arm, needing his right hand to offer in the odd Western greeting he'd learned Americans used. "Good morning, Redfield-san, Redfield-san. Is everything ok?"

"That was our question to you, actually." Clare took his hand first, giving it a firm shake with solid eye contact and a bright smile. "I'm glad to see you up and about." Turning and offering the same hand to Haruka, she kept her question free of any guesses, "Pleased to meet you, ma'am, name's Clare Redfield."

The Sailor for Uranus chuckled ruefully, but accepted the handshake without hesitation. "Shinji, my English sucks. Help!"

"She's saying she's pleased to meet you, her name is Clare Redfield," he translated hurriedly. "This is her brother, Chris."

"Yeah, that's been a bit of a problem." Chris shook Shinji's hand, shaking his head with resignation. "We've tried to help keep the peace, but too many of the people in charge of security don't speak English or Spanish." After greeting Haruka the same way, he added, "Both Clare and I are fluent in those two, and she knows some French, but nothing this side of the Pacific."

Haruka looked to Shinji again for help. "Red area of study? That's…an odd last name."

"N-no," Shinji blinked in confusion. "Field. Like, of grass or rice or something growing?"

"Oh, right." Clare snapped her fingers, pointing at Shinji and shaking her finger as she remembered an earlier discussion. "You're speaking a bunch of languages at once. Family names and given names probably sound odd that way."

"They might," he hedged, "I…hear what I hear. You're Redfield-san, she's Tenou-san."

"Haru-chan," Haruka corrected him, jabbing him in the ribs.

"I'm trying to explain last names," he protested, batting away her hand.

"They can call me Haruka just as easily as you can call me Haru-chan. Stop being so stuffy."

"Ok, ok." He turned back to the Redfields. "This is Haruka, Haruka Tenou."

"…The chan thing…that's, uhm…an honorific, right?" Clare clearly had an ear for languages and patterns.

"Y-yeah," he swallowed, trying to come up with an explanation of a cultural concept that didn't exist in English that he knew of, "she…she's really important to me. Her and her girlfriend are…I see them like…."

"Oh," it was Chris' turn to snap his fingers, a broad smile growing, "they're your wingmen! One of those who knows you better than you do, right?"

It was as good an explanation as any. "Yeah, like that. It's perfectly accurate to say that Haruka-sa-argh!" He scowled over at the seemingly innocent Sailor who'd pinched him. "Haru-chan and Michi-chan know me way better than I know myself."

"So," Clare redirected the conversation, "we were hoping that you'd be able to help us out. Chris, Leon, and Jill are all police officers. There've been a few incidents of people rubbing each other the wrong way, and we've tried to keep the peace the best we can, but we're starting to see a real need for more formalized standing. The Marines that patrol this area are…kind of the wrong tool to use, really." Her lips quirked off to one side, an air of hesitation growing in her bearing.

"We have a significant number of racist idiots that are too stupid to recognize a fluid situation that has every chance of exploding into further bloodshed," Chris asserted bluntly. "I can recognize from those jarheads that they're doing the best they can. They're separating troublemakers, keeping people from having things stolen, and making sure food gets to everyone. But, ultimately, they're not able to communicate the nuances that keep polite society polite."

"We also have a lot of people who aren't racist, but just don't understand and are scared," Clare retorted with a significant look to her brother. "Not everyone's like Uncle Larry, Chris."

"I calls 'em like I sees 'em," the big man shrugged, unmoved. "Regardless, we were hoping you could put me in touch with whoever's in charge of security. I'd like to canvass the various groups, see if we can find enough people with some sort of LEO background to work together. Start building bridges before people erect barricades, you know?"

"Sure, yeah, uh…." Shinji looked around, spying a Tengu casually keeping an eye on the Redfields as they spoke to him. "Excuse me, Tengu-san?"

The spirit strode over, presenting itself to the group with a military-style bow, "I answer your summons, Elder."

He wasn't quite sure how to respond, and so he simply asked what he was going to ask to begin with, "Could you take Redfield-san to General Soryu, make sure that he at least gets an appointment to speak with her? He'll probably need a translator too. I'd like her to consider helping him take a role in setting up a non-military security force, and she'll know best who to task, I think."

"It shall be done." He bowed again, then turned to Chris. "If you would accompany me, child of farmlands?"

"Oh good, you speak English," Chris didn't seem disturbed at all to be speaking to a youkai, taking it at face value. "You want to trip along, Clare-bear?"

"No, I'm going to do what I can to keep tempers calm until you come back." She looked to Shinji as her brother motioned his acceptance and moved to follow the Tengu. "I would like to sit down and talk later, though. We're going to need to set up at least a rudimentary governing body to stop chaos from overwhelming us. It seems like you're who everyone looks to for help, and I think I can help you help them. I was studying poli-sci and business management in college, and I'd like to make sure we don't put people in charge that…well, that aren't as nice as you are."

He waved off what he thought was her idea. "Oh, oh no. I'm not in charge of anything."

"Not even himself, really," Haruka added with a chuckle.

"No, no," Clare regrouped, "what I meant was that you seem to know all of the players involved. That General seemed to take some cues from you, the Marines all look to see how you're doing, that…uh, crow spirit? He came over and bowed to you. I don't doubt that you want nothing to do with leadership, nobody with brains really does, I just was hoping for your help in getting the ball moving past language barriers."

That made much more sense to Shinji, and was something well within his abilities. "Sure, yeah. Uh…." He looked down, thinking of everything that needed doing at the moment. "We're searching for a murderer right now. We've got specialists following tracks, and I'm…just kind of walking around seeing if I sense anything." He looked to Haruka for advice, "She wants to try and set up a basic government, help people have their grievances heard and whatnot. Other people probably have the same idea, but…you know, language barriers. She wanted to meet with me later to try and work around that, but between looking for the murderer, looking for Maria, looking for Usagi, getting whatever treatment for Daphne…ugh…." The calm he'd felt holding onto Haruka was fading rapidly. "We also need to go back and recover all of those supplies from Greenland." He scowled at the ground. "Let's focus on that, actually. I'm not feeling any pull from the armband, the damn Crystal isn't telling me anything, and all I'm doing is walking around enjoying time with someone I love. Let's find something to eat, and I'll have you keep an eye on how I'm doing. If you think I'm pushing it, I'll listen to you."

"Well," Haruka had watched Shinji close during his interactions with the new woman, and thought it would be healthy for him to continue his recent trend of reaching out to help people instead of reverting back to only those he was already established with, "how about I lead the away team and we ask Redfield-san to keep an eye on you?"

"She said she wants to help the people in their camp stay calm," he shook his head, disagreeing with the idea in total. "If you want to spearhead, that's fine, but she has responsibilities to her countrymen."

Clare tilted her head, considering what he might have replied to. "I don't mind helping, if there's a way I can. I just don't like hanging around a bunch of military people grunting at each other if I can avoid it."

"She…she said that she'd rather go through the portal in case there's trouble, and thought you could keep an eye on me to make sure I don't overdo it." He scrubbed his fingers against his scalp, wincing at the thought of bothering Clare with such a trivial task. "I don't want to make you just stand around for no reason. I can get someone else to watch how I'm doing."

"It's not 'for no reason' when you have a history of overdoing it," she laughed amicably. "Either way, I might be of some help there too. I walked all through that area, taking stock of what was there. I can keep my eyes open and call out if I see anything worth noting."

Haruka looked at him, anticipating either a translation or an answer, "Well?"

"…She says she'll help. I'm just…." He looked away from both of them, his voice growing quiet, "She lost friends there, too."

Haruka saw Clare's easy-going smile shift towards velvet-coated steel, a lifetime of controlling emotions evident even across cultures. "And you're a good man for remaining aware of other people's needs, kid. But if she says she can help, she can help."

"Yeah…." He nodded, putting his hands in his pockets and walking towards where the portals were supposed to be opened. "I just don't like hurting people that don't deserve to be hurt."

+++++ Hikawa Shrine, Azabu-Juban, Japan. (Friday + 13)

"…Interesting." Naoko had listened calmly to Sarah as the younger woman explained what would and would not be acceptable from her perspective. Not once had she attempted to usurp total control, never intimated that she was 'in charge', hadn't expressed contempt for what a woman more than twice her age had done in her absence to assure care was maintained for the environment they were in. "And you're fifteen?"

"I'll be sixteen next month," Sarah replied with a shrug. She didn't care what people thought about her, or about her age. "I had to grow up pretty fast. Was exposed to a lot of stuff that I probably should never have been exposed to. Didn't exactly have someone who should be titled 'father of the year'. I know what I'm getting myself into, and I know that he's right about some of the stuff he said to me. I'm not looking to dislodge you, because he clearly accepted you enough to make a room for you. All I want from you is buy-in. We work together to keep him from killing himself with heroism, we work together to keep harridans and harlots away from him so he doesn't have to deal with their crap, and we don't get in each other's way while we try to get him to understand that an appropriately sized family isn't a bad thing for all of us."

Lacing her fingers together, resting her chin on the ensuing web, she felt something she hadn't in a very long time. "Fascinating. I think I understand what my teachers went through, now."

"It's a bitch being precocious, I agree."

"You realize that performing the spell will likely be…eventful?"

"It knocked me unconscious for a couple of days when you did it, so yeah, I'm guessing I need to draw him out somewhere that will allow whatever counterforces are in play to disperse safely. Kind of like releasing the overpressure valve in a room with a closed door, you're just asking for blown-out eardrums if you do it wrong."

Naoko wiggled her pinky towards Sarah, indicating her entire person. "So: pretty, smart, capable. Why him?"

"Because he'll keep me safe for the rest of my life, or he'll make whoever killed me wish they were dead for millions of years. Are there any other guys around with that kind of offer?" Sarah sat back and spread her arms out. "He's attractive, attentive, well-spoken…I'm not seeing any reason to look somewhere else. Everyone left alive on the planet is currently right outside that door. Quick census figures put gender ratios at around six to one. At some point, someone's going to expect me to use my womb to make sure humanity doesn't die with us, and after a peek at the available options, I'll take Shinji every day and twice on Sundays." Setting her arms back on the table, she pointed across to the woman she was debating with. "You look me in the eye and tell me that when he's sweating and straining against us that he's not going to do everything he can to make sure that we're happy and contented. That it's not ever going to be three pumps and a dump, unless we don't have time and are just looking for a quick release."

"Reasonable. And when he's 'sweating and straining' against someone else, and you walk in the room accidentally?"

"Then it had better be consensual, and they had better be a part of our little family, or I'll have their head and his ass."

Naoko's lips curled into an amused grin. "You know, I think you and I will get along just fine."