There Is (No) Hope

by BardInTheForest

Shinji Ikari was not a young man that lived an easy life. Each good that the universe teased him with was typically met with a greater evil. Now the only pilot capable of fielding an Evangelion against a series of reborn Angels, he will have to adapt to new allies and new foes. The world has changed, and there is no running away from it anymore.

51. Chapter 51

+++++ Luna. (Thursday + 26)

The Silent One arrived via portal. The Lunar Palace was calm, still, and devoid of any life save his and the woman sitting atop the marble rim of what had once been a beautiful fountain of water. She, much as he, was not human. She wasn't a Lunarian. She wasn't any of the myriad forms of life that had thrived upon the surface of the planet far below at one point or another. She served as proof, to him, that it was possible to retain some shred of morality while doing those things that life demanded be done. Is this where we'll do it? I'd rather not harm the palace.

It won't be destructive, just painful. Yukiko's gaze remained fixed upon the blue marble in the distance. He doesn't stand even the slightest chance of doing anything bad enough to damage things. He, unlike you, is too weak to counter me.

Why did he come here? To this reality, I mean. He had time. If she wanted to speak to him for a bit, before they said their farewells, he had no reason to tell her to hurry.

To hide. She looked down towards her feet, dangling above the lunar surface, then pointed off to the side. From him.

A wave of breathable atmosphere washed over them both, drawing The Silent One's attention towards where the air had originated from. Standing over two meters tall, with the body of a man capable of crushing black holes into diamond, and shoulder-length shock-white hair tied back with a trio of brightly colored ribbons, there could be no doubt as to the identity of the entity standing there. But it was not The Wanderer that concerned him the most. It was, instead, the four women that were standing there with him. The Silent One faced a pair of women he knew couldn't possibly be standing where they were. "H-Horaki-san? Lieutenant Ibuki?"

Both women spoke as one, "Ikari, thank you very much." They looked at each other and smirked, after which Maya gestured to Hikari to proceed.

The former Class Representative seemed much older than her youthful appearance would imply. Dressed for battle as she was, in an outfit that he never would have dreamed of seeing her in, The Silent One lost most of his focus on containing his emotions, "You…you're not…."

"Happy with you? That is correct, Ikari-kun." The switch from the playful grin she had for Maya to the scowl of disapproval she directed at him was physically jarring to Shinji. "What is this nonsense I hear about you shoving the women who care for you into a gilded cage? Is that how we treat our peers?"

He blinked, taking one step backwards from an all-too familiar tone of voice. "Y-you…you were married! You had a child! How are you here? How do you look like you…like you did just two weeks ago?"

"Because we're not your Maya and Hikari, Shinji-kun." Maya, taking her place as 'the good cop', slid over and wrapped one arm around Hikari's shoulders. "Yes, we're married. Yes, we have an adorable little girl. Tenshi-chan would just love to meet you, once you calm down enough to see the difference between friend and foe."

"Why…I don't understand why you're here."

"Because my wives wouldn't let me come talk to you alone," The Wanderer's voice interrupted the scene with a solemnity that spoke of the horrors he had seen, and lived through. "They promised me that they wouldn't do anything reckless, and I promised to let them try and talk you down."

Malice dripped from every word The Silent One ground out, "Your 'wives'? Plural? As in, you married more than one woman? You just can't keep your word to anyone, can you? Marrying two women, coming back to interfere in this universe? You don't feel that the body count is high enough, yet? Want to make sure that more people die before you pull the plug on everything?"

"Way more than two," a woman that looked like a more mature Rei Ayanami with hair black as the void beyond them tittered from behind Hikari. "Closer to two score."

"You're not helping, sister dear." The final woman, a long-haired motherly woman chided the other, "His heart is confused. Do not poison his thoughts with misunderstandings."

"…Forty?" Shinji's fist clenched, and he glared death at The Wanderer. "Is that why you're here? Come to claim the surviving women like some twisted trophies?"

The Wanderer's demeanor remained neutral, the barbs not finding any purchase through skin thickened by tragedies uncountable. "Is that what you think we are? Is that the monster lurking in our hearts?"

"We?" His eyes narrowed briefly, then flared out wide as comprehension dawned. "…I was already planning on killing you. Now I'm going to make it hurt first. You think you have the right to create countless universes and just destroy them when they don't turn out the way you think they should? You think you control all creation?"

"Thou sayest."

With a wordless howl of rage, Shinji surrounded himself in Unit-01 and launched himself towards The Wanderer with his axes preparing to cut deep into the giant albino god. The reason for all of his suffering, for the deaths of so many good people, for the devastation of countless universes, he would kill him if it was the last thing he did. What he didn't expect, and couldn't have been prepared for, was the woman calling herself Hikari Ikari stepping between the two men.

Sweeping the axe in Unit-01's right hand towards the axe in its left, disrupting the entirety of its momentum, the long-haired brunette sighed in disappointment. She kicked the Eva's left foot into its right, sending the Angel Slayer tumbling awkwardly off away from its target. "Now, from what I've seen of your time in our class, I know you saw me pull that idiot Suzuhara up short more than once for thinking he could fix his inadequacies between his ears and legs with his fists. What possible reason do you have to think that I'll let you come close to hurting my husband? Hmm?"

Dizzy, Shinji picked himself up quickly and went to charge around the group to strike The Wanderer from the flank. He kept his path well away from Hikari, or so he thought. Between two strides, he was once more tripped up and sent skidding to the ground to grind his faceplate against the regolith.

"Two choices," her voice gained that hint of warning that things were about to become much more painful, "you stop this nonsense of your own accord, or I demonstrate what happened to the last person who thought they could lay a finger on my man."

As Hikari continued holding an impromptu lesson on self-control and anger management, Yukiko solemnly approached the trio of women that weren't engaged in separating two Shinjis Ikari. "Please…Your Majesties. We can fix him. We just-"

"We're not here to kill him, or this universe." Maya turned her attention away from her wife's exuberances to focus on another portion of their mission. "My husband needs to talk to him, clear the air. I'm sure you can feel the others doing what they can back on this Earth. Once we have the War Criminal from our reality in our grasp, we'll leave Shinji-kun here with you. So long as he doesn't become a tyrant, we won't have any reason to return until it's time for him to help defend everyone."

"Lilith and I truly believe that you, and the other five women remaining on this world, will see him through this period of suffering. That the man who exits the other side of this trial will be all the stronger for your love." The maternal woman who had been standing behind Maya now looped her arms around Maya's shoulders and smiled upon Yukiko with beaming trust.

"Eve's right," Lilith agreed with a nod. "For now, what needs to happen though is Hikari needs to beat some calm back into his brain."

Yukiko did some quick counting on the fingers of one hand. "…Five?" She curled her fingers back in, then lifted one with each name. "The Shrinemaiden, the Frostmother, and Sarah-chan." The fourth finger wiggled indecisively, "I'm guessing the Nightmother is returning, eventually. That would make four."

+++++ The Outback, Australia. (Thursday + 26)

"This is a very dry place," the Gaghiel from The Wanderer's home reality floated through the air with his Goddess laying on his back working on her tan. "I know that I have said that many times, but I must politely say it once more…this place needs more water."

Minami, also known as The Aesthete, also known as Minnie, also known as the Goddess of Aquatic Life, was adoring the feel of the sun beating down on her bikini-clad body. Patting Gaghiel's side with fond firmness, she laughed brightly. "This is what it was like before Second Impact, Gaghiel-kun. From what I learned in my geography classes, there are other areas close-ish to us that are like the tropics. Once we manage to finish repairing the northern hemisphere, we'll have to see about getting permission to unflood our Australia."

I am not entirely certain I should induce rain here, either. Matarael, the version from The Wanderer's home reality, kept pace with his 'younger brother' easily while also not disturbing his Goddess' position upon his back, or the umbrella she sheltered under. These plants are well adjusted to surviving out here, and it is very possible that I would ruin this natural beauty with my interference. More study should be done, I think, before I act.

"A wise idea," Kelly murmured approvingly. The green-haired Poet was distinctly uncomfortable in such an arid climate, but understood her value to the current mission well enough to not complain about the matter. They had been told that recovering this asset was going to be invaluable to getting this version of Shinji Ikari to calm down enough to listen to reason. They had also been told that the 'old magic' was alive and well. She was well enough read on Greek Mythology to know what they were approaching, and she had to admit a certain excitement at the prospect. "I…think I see her."

Minami rolled over onto her belly, shading her eyes and looking towards where Kelly was pointing. "Oooh, she mad."

"Wouldn't you be?"

She rolled her eyes and smirked at Kelly. "Do you honestly think he'd leave any of us behind like that? He may be socially awkward at times still, but he's never inattentive."

"Hello nice lady!" Gaghiel waggled his fins in greeting, shrinking down his size to let Minami off and decrease the chances that the new woman might see him as a threat. Once his passenger was walking on her own, he bobbed up higher to dance and sway playfully. He felt that always put people at ease. "We're here to politely-"

Minami reached up and pushed Gaghiel's jaw closed. "Not now, Gaghiel-kun. This is one of those 'lady moments' we were talking about the other day."

Kelly carried her overlarge beach umbrella over to their quarry to offer shade from the burning sun. "Matarael, I'd like a very small localized rain shower, please. Enough to block the sun, and get everyone nice and damp."

"Who…are you?" The seemingly listless woman's eyes were sharp, though her skin showed clear signs of extreme dehydration. "Where did you come from?"

"I'm Minami Ikari, and the nice lady giving you a break from this sun is Kelly Ikari." Showing her open hands at shoulder height, she tilted her head slightly and gave her most winning smile. "We're not from around here, and we're not hallucinations caused by the heat."

"We're from a different reality, and we've come to recover a war criminal. Once we have him in hand, we'll-" Kelly grabbed the woman's hand before it could reach her throat. She might as well have been fending off a newborn, though she could feel the strength the woman put into the blow. "We're not here for your Shinji. We're not certain what to call the war criminal, owing to the old magic having a great deal of sway. So we've all agreed to refer to him as 'a' war criminal, or 'the' war criminal, to avoid causing more problems."

Gaghiel's voice was uncertain as he interrupted, "Uhm…Poet?"

"Not now, Gaghiel-kun." Kelly slowly pushed the woman's hand back down to her side. "I promise, under pain of death, I would not have come here if the mission was to do anything to harm your Shinji. Myself, Minami," she tipped her head back towards the two Aspects, "these two jokers…we're not the ones they bring along when there's fighting to do. We mind the farm while the warriors ride out and fix problems."

"Poet, I politely need-"

Minami rolled her eyes and turned about to face her Aspect. "What have I…oh." Her lips bunched up. "Kelly, did we have any instructions on how to deal with any Angels we came across?"

"No." Kelly looked over towards what she recalled the Israfel twins appearing as when they were a singular entity. Sighing out a brief curse, she looked to her partnered Aspect. "Would you be a dear and make them go away?"

Matarael turned about, lifting itself taller on all four legs to limber up. And if they will not listen to reason?

"Kill them. We did not come to bring the last Dryad back to this world's Shinji as a corpse. Make them go away, or make them no more, the mission takes priority over the non-interference agreement."

"It doesn't really count as interference, right?" Gaghiel floated higher, increasing his size to protect 'his Goddess'. "I mean…these aren't from this reality. They came with the not-Great One, right?"

A good point, my friend. Matarael began walking towards the Angel. We will use that in our defense, when we explain to him why we had to act.

After the two former Angels moved to intercept the current Angel, Kelly returned back to Daphne with a smile. "While they sort that out, can I offer you some water?"

"…Yes, please?" The wary woman looked between the two women with a fresh appreciation for what she was seeing. "You're…not human?"

"Technically we're called 'Goddesses', but that's ridiculously ostentatious, and we try to avoid anyone knowing that." Minami urged Daphne to take the canteen Kelly was offering. "Slowly, now. The water won't do any good if you puke it back up. I've done that more than once on a track and field day."

"It is a common rookie mistake, yeah." Kelly kept one hand on the canteen, to aid the Dryad in keeping it at a slow pour. After a slow ten count, she firmly pulled the water away to give what she'd taken time to settle. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." Daphne inclined her head in gratitude. "If you would be a dear and pour the rest over my head and shoulders, I would appreciate it. I can absorb water that way as effectively, but it's nice to have a moist throat for when I give him a piece of my mind."

"Heh," Minami chuckled, "no matter which Shinji it is, there's always some woman torqued at him."

+++++ Hikawa Shrine. (Thursday + 26)

At roughly the same time that The Silent One and The Wanderer met, the ladies that remained at the Hikawa Shrine also received unexpected guests. The knock on the door of the apartment they had been given startled all three of them, and it was only after a second, still polite, knock that Sarah stood to open the door.

"No, no," Rei shook herself, returning her mind to the present to deal with a potentially hostile situation, "I'll get it. No offense, but I'm a bit sturdier than you."

Sarah waved her hand dismissively, never ceasing her motion towards the door. "Enemies don't knock." Turning the deadbolt and doorknob at once, she pulled the door open to reveal…the woman behind her and several other similarly aged women, including a few she'd met already. "…What, and I believe I'm being reasonable about this, the absolute fuck?"

"We're from a different reality," Rei Ikari stated with a calm poise. "We've come to see…well, me. The one from this…." Finally catching sight of herself, and the crystalline plugsuit she was wearing, her brow knit close. "Ok, why exactly are you tramping about in that?"

"Because I can't take it off! I've tried!" Rei Hino threw her hands up, approaching herself with growing fire. "I touched this Crystal thing, and suddenly I'm even more of a Sailor Slut than Venus is."

"Seriously?" Minako Ikari stomped into the room, moving around Sarah carefully to avoid hurting the younger woman. "Just because I like form-fitting outfits that show off how hard I work out, does not mean that I'm suddenly a slut."

"No, the fact that you used to be unable to go five minutes without finding some new man to drool over, however, does not really paint a picture of moderation, Mina-chan." Makoto Ikari reached out one hand towards Sarah in greeting. "Makoto Ikari, pleased to meet you."

"Likewise." Sarah accepted the greeting, looking at the other two Sailors that hadn't said anything yet. "Come on in. I'm guessing you're not just taking a tour?"

"No, not really." Usagi Ikari was looking at the lone surviving Sailor, a mix of sorrow and despair in her demeanor. "We're here to help as much as our husband will allow."

Ami Ikari leaned into the room enough to point over to the balcony. "You can see, out there, what's going on."

While everyone else trooped over to see what was happening outside, Usagi took hold of Rei Hino's arm to keep her back. "If you wouldn't mind…we need to talk."

Her counterpart from another reality patted her on the back, then moved to follow everyone else. It was jarring, after a fashion, to see Usagi Tsukino standing before her as a blonde. It was even more disturbing to see that there was no trace of the bubbly airhead that had so irritated her in the woman that had been sent to the future. "What happened…to you, I mean?"

Usagi's demeanor softened, slightly. "I married a man I love dearly, accepted the responsibilities that marriage set upon my shoulders, and will never regret having done so."

"No matter how much it hurts, sometimes?"

"Nobody sane truly believes love is painless. It takes work. Sacrifice. Dedication." Swallowing back a lump, she looked down and shrugged her shoulders. "Despite what Venus believes, if I had to leave anyone else in charge…it'd be you. I know I'm not 'your' Usagi, but I just wanted you to know that."

She could read the room well enough to know that something was about to be asked of her that she really, really, did not want to have to do. "I appreciate the vote of confidence all the same. Let's just rip the bandage off. Neither of us revel in pain like Ami-chan or Makoto-chan do."

Usagi's grim chuckle was partnered with a pained smile. "Yeah…." She looked over to her sisters. "We can't feel the others. We're, the five of us, all spirits. We've been dead for quite some time now. We came back because my Rei reached out to our Shin-Shin, and then he reached out to all of us. In our world, we haven't been able to find what happened to Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto. They might be too young to awaken, or were killed in Second Impact. To be honest, we were hoping that we would be able to feel any of them. It might have given us a clue as to how to search in our world."

"So…they might really be gone."

"Might be. With how this world has fallen so far, I…I didn't want to leave you in the dark."

"No, that's Shinji's job." Rei Hino growled, glaring towards where she felt his pull upon her soul. "Claims he's Chaos. That he's destined to die by my hand."

"He is, and he might be."

"What?!"

"He is Chaos, in the oldest sense of the term. He is responsible for the spaces between the areas of ordered free will. He can create those spaces at will, control what happens within them, and even push hard against the order that exists. The stronger he becomes, the more likely it is that he'll be able to simply destroy everything by pushing it all so far away from other everythings that the life and order simply wither and die without anything to renew them." Sympathy for Rei overtook her own sadness for the moment. "Because of what everyone else believes about Chaos, however, he's also that Chaos. He can, and has, spontaneously generate random actions or happenings around him of any type he's unconsciously thinking of. If he loses himself, it will be up to you to kill him to prevent tragedy."

"You think I'd-"

"I would kill Shin-Shin in a heartbeat if he lost himself that badly." Both sympathy and sorrow were gone now. With her shoulders back and her chin slightly lifted, Usagi looked every inch the Imperial Princess that she was. "He would be the first person to tell you that he'd demand I do so. The power he has cannot go unchecked. Every single Shinji Ikari in every single reality out there has the potential, for whatever reason, to become just as strong as my Shinji Ikari. This is what Reality has brought to us, and whether we like it or not we must be prepared to do what is best for every reality out there. To do any less is unworthy of our positions as Guardians."

+++++ Luna. (Thursday + 26)

Everyone observing the fight winced as Shinji, inside of Unit-01, was slammed into the rocky lunar surface with enough force to send fractures snaking outwards from the point of impact. He had long since lost both axes, and now had to try and regain his footing with little energy and Hikari Ikari's counterforce pressing down on his throat via her dainty foot. He pushed ineffectually at her knee, trying to get it to unlock so he could move, but managed little more than a soft nudge.

"You done?" Hikari, unlike him, appeared ready to go for several more hours if necessary. "You ready to listen to my husband? Tap the ground twice if you are." She leaned forward menacingly. "Lie to me, and I'm breaking bones next time. Yeah?"

He couldn't best her in a physical confrontation because he refused to harm her. Everything he'd tried, at first, was done with just enough power to overcome what he believed to be a generally 'normal' human being. By the time that he decided to escalate his use of force to where it might handle someone like Minako or Rei, he was already growing tired. Once it had become clear that nothing short of an effort to fight himself would possibly win, he'd had almost all of the fight drained from him. He was so tired, both physically and emotionally, that he doubted he could mount a worthwhile strike at The Wanderer if all of reality was at stake. He dismissed Unit-01, and let his hand fall to the ground, patting it twice.

"Good." Removing her foot from his throat, she squatted down and offered him a hand in standing. "You'll understand, after you hear him out. We didn't come here to beat you up, and we didn't come here to hurt anyone that hasn't earned that pain. Listen to him, think about what he's saying, and be honest with him. He can tell when you lie."

Eschewing her offer of help, he rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself upright. "Whatever." Looking up into the eyes of what had once been someone like himself, he shoved his hands in his pockets. "What do you want?"

The Wanderer looked first to Hikari, inclining his head respectfully. "Thank you. Please go help…the other understand what we're about. We have a bit of time yet before they'll be ready for extraction."

"Be nice to him, ok?" Hikari wagged her finger at her husband. "I know you're mad at him for trying to hurt me, but you know that he not only was doing everything he could to avoid that, but he also couldn't hurt me if he tried!"

Shinji watched The Wanderer lift his hands slightly in surrender, confusion growing louder than his morbid malaise. Once Hikari walked away, he couldn't stop himself from asking the obvious question, "Is…she in charge?"

"You've known a version of Hikari long enough to know that nobody else could ever hope to be in charge when she's around." The big man shrugged his shoulders, then slid his own hands into his pockets. "She doesn't ask for the improbable, and she never asks for anything but what she truly believes is right. I'm blessed beyond my worth that she loves me at all, and shamed by how much she loves me in truth."

This wasn't going the way he'd thought it would be. "Who are you…really?"

"You, just with some different life experiences." A half-smirk showed that there was more than a little self-deprecation there. "Life has kicked us both in the nuts far more than either of us would honestly prefer. I'm not here to compare battle scars, and I'm not here to try and earn any sympathy. I'm here," pulling one hand out of his pocket, he made a firm grasping motion at the air before him, and then tugged on an invisible rope, bringing the same little man that had fought Shinji for control of the first Crystal out into the open, "for him."

Bonds of white-hot metal formed from nothingness, clamping down around the tiny creature and dropping it to the ground beneath their feet. Yowling with pain, it was suddenly silenced by one last band around its mouth.

Shinji felt as if someone had just kicked him in the chest and punched him in the back of the head. Falling to one knee, he tried to get his eyes to focus. "Is…is that…."

"Yeah. That is the war criminal I'm looking for. Let's avoid names, for now. Better to not even think them, really." The Wanderer had closed the gap between himself and Shinji, kneeling down to offer a hand in the same way his wife had earlier. "I'm keeping my promise, my brother, not breaking my word. It is from my reality, and the longer it stayed within you the more things would go horribly wrong. By leaving it here, I was allowing interference above and beyond what my showing back up would create. I only wish I had found it sooner."

He took a long look at the offered hand, then finally accepted the help and stood upright again. Hunger, fatigue, and pain were all nagging impulses chewing at the corners of his mind, but part of the dark thoughts that had consumed him began to fizzle into nothingness. "Is…it responsible for their deaths?"

"Only in the sense that it was an irritant in your inner world. What you might, or might not, have done without it there is something that nobody can know. One small change to the choices you make can change nothing or everything about what happens afterwards. I only know the past with any true certainty, the present is ever-changing, and the future is something nobody should ever remember." Replacing the hand he'd offered into his own pocket, he shook his head slowly. "We don't get the comfort of 'what might have been', really. I could show you countless realities in which we turned out to be complete monsters. Others where we became absolutely nothing of note. Others still where we fought valiantly and died brutally. Our average lifespan is a little under sixteen years, and there is no word in Japanese that describes 'n' in that particular data set."

"Am I actually responsible, then? Are you?"

"Does it matter?"

"I'd kind of like to kill whoever's responsible, so yeah, it's a little important for me to know."

"There are a number of ways to answer that question. The one you're not going to like, but is going to be the most truthful, is that a lot of people are ultimately responsible. The person who died has some responsibility. The person who killed them at that point has some responsibility. The people who were there when they died have some responsibility. The people that might have stopped either the person who died, or the person who killed them, at any point in their life bear some responsibility." The Wanderer looked off into the void of space, thinking as he spoke. "There's the person who made everything, the person who made them, and the person who made them, on and on and on."

The calm that was washing through Shinji felt strange. He'd spent so long angry that the sudden lack of anger made no rational sense. "So…I bear at least some responsibility?"

"We all do, ultimately." The Wanderer looked back to the much younger version of himself from another reality. "At some point, one of us Shinjis has to figure this out. The more of us that are thinking of how to find and fix the problem, the more that responsibility spreads around. I'll always have some responsibility, because I've used the gifts given to me to try and give other Shinjis a chance to 'win'. A chance to be, become, or discover the answer to how we find the thing that made the Shinji Ikari that made me. Our lives, as I said, are often short, brutal, and pointless. I've watched each and every one of them, and I've hoped beyond hope that each and every one of them is 'the one'." He pointed down to his prisoner, writhing on the ground in pain. "I've stopped creating new realities for now. You were the reality he'd fled to, for whatever reason. You've given me a chance to move further along the path to finding Reality. In exchange, I'm going to give you a piece of advice I received from someone who is a master of the art. Don't tense your jaw, it just makes it hurt worse."

"Tense my-" Shinji's vision went briefly white, then black, then star-speckled as his head was forcibly turned to one side by the impact of a fragile-seeming fist. Caught completely off-guard, he stumbled sideways and landed back on the ground. Once his eyes were able to refocus, he saw someone he hadn't anticipated seeing again. "D-Daphne?"

"Did you even bother looking at our tree, you idiot?" The Dryad stomped right up to him, standing between his legs and leaning down to get right in his face as she chewed into him. "Did you even once stop and think before you decided to just lock everyone up in a cage where they'd be easy pickings for anyone strong enough to break through your defenses?" Standing back upright, she flung her arms dramatically to her sides and shouted out to the stars beyond, "Why am I cursed so? Why is it that the men who love me are blinded so easily by machismo?"

The word was spoken no louder than a mouse's whisper, "Daphne?"

With a final harrumph, she set her hands back on her hips and looked at him pityingly. "I'm a Dryad, you twit. Any injury I receive can heal so long as the tree I'm tied to isn't harmed. Now that it's our tree, so long as one of us is alive, the other can't really be killed, because to kill either of us, you'd have to destroy the trees you made, which is just about impossible to do considering you've made them a magical null zone, and my tree is immune to natural fire. I just had to drag myself across some of the most unforgiving territory in the world because, unlike you, I can't magically teleport myself across thousands of kilometers! You abandoned me in Australia, went on a murderous rampage, got in a fight with the wife of someone even stronger than you are in the hopes that you would be killed, and somehow don't expect me to track you down and slap some sense into you?" The kick she delivered to the inside of his knee had no force behind it at all. "Get up and hug me you idiot." After Shinji scrambled up to his knees, pulling her towards and against him in a desperately joyous hug, she finally let a relieved smile shine through the tears standing in her eyes. "You're not supposed to leave the job of saving your wife to the wives of another man, silly."

The Wanderer was politely looking at the intricacies of the impact scar on the lunar surface his wife had created with Shinji's head. Intimacy between others was something he felt he had no right to directly observe, after all. "Please don't judge him too harshly, Earthmother. It took the combined efforts of an entire household of women to get me to understand that I was worthy of even having something as simple as a hug without being called a pervert. The one constant throughout all of our lives has been that interpersonal relationships, and the obligations and glories therein, make about as much sense to us as quantum mechanics does to a lamprey eel."

She squeezed Shinji tighter, then urged him to stand next to her and accept her under his arm. "Could you perhaps give him some advice from your position of experience, Gallows' Burden?"

The Wanderer chuckled ruefully, looking back to both with a wry smirk. "Listen to the women in your life. We don't know anything when it comes to relationships. We lived in a dark, desolate, cave for our entire lives…they didn't. Let them choose as they will, support them in those choices, and let them give you what rewards they will."

"But shouldn't I…you know…reward them too?" Holding a treasure in his arms, Shinji began to realize that The Wanderer was very serious when he said that he hadn't come here to do anything bad. "I-if they choose to…you know…."

The wry smirk became a calm, steady smile. "You know as well as I do that nothing I say would change the desperate need you have within your heart to do everything you can for them. Don't be afraid to love, my brother. Be afraid of failing to love when you had the chance." Gesturing with one hand off to the side, The Wanderer created a portal of the type Shinji often did. "Thanks for this trick, by the way. I hadn't really thought of it the way you did, but this is very useful. Let's get you back to the Hikawa Shrine. There are some ladies that I think would like to punch you like the Earthmother has."

+++++ Hikawa Shrine. (Thursday + 26)

Rei Hino had lagged behind when Mizore and Sarah saw Shinji return with Daphne. Had stayed up on the balcony, watching the mixture of happy reunion and explanatory tour of the reformed environment. A host of pink-skinned women had created a self-sustaining public works system to provide power and water and remove waste and toxins. It was a gift, she had been told, to balance out what had been taken from them by the mere presence of Yukiko's twin from their reality, and reimburse them for the 'seized property' that was the entire world's stockpile of nuclear weaponry. She felt, more than saw, the titanic god approach her before he leaned on the railing she was standing by. "So…that's it? We endure weeks of suffering, struggle to find any way to keep even a few people alive, only for you to show up and wiggle your fingers?"

"He still needs to find the other owners of those Crystals," The Wanderer responded calmly. "Finish building the city out so that several thousand people have somewhere to return to. Find a way to defend against further incursions by other contenders for his position. Defend against people that feel this universe should be travelling along alternate paths. Learn how to accept the love he's being offered." The last point was far more pointed, "Determine whether or not to accept the desperate, nearly manic, infatuation your Usagi Tsukino is pushing upon him."

Her brow knit, and she glanced over to see The Wanderer looking at her meaningfully. "You…I'm not the only one who sees it?"

"You spoke to my Usagi. You're also this reality's version of one of the most insightful women I've ever known. You tell me."

"Damn it." She let her eyes refocus on the Shinji Ikari that was standing uncomfortably sandwiched between Mizore and Daphne. "She didn't tell us anything. Just went around doing things. She found…some sort of power source, and it turned her into a succubus. Then, without fighting him on it, she accepts him sending her thousands of years into the future? None of it makes sense!"

"Look at it from her perspective."

Rei watched Shinji, who was watching Hikari teach Sarah a number of techniques that looked incredibly useful for smaller women against larger targets. "She didn't just leave the work of fixing him to us. Giving us thousands of years to help him learn to love is just giving us thousands of years to help him learn to love us. It gives me, if nobody else, thousands of years to explain to him that what she pushed on him wasn't healthy. That wasn't a good 'first step' into the realms of physical love. Years from now, he's going to put two and two together and realize that by virtue of what she was, she'd stolen from him the choice of who he wanted to share that moment with. Some people don't care about that, people like you, however…."

"I was lucky." The Wanderer pointed down to Hikari. "She waited, patiently, for me to come out of my shell enough to give her the green light. To hear her talk, she was ready from day one. She knew I wasn't, and she only pushed hard enough to make sure I was thinking about the issue. She pushed other people that weren't giving me that respect, that space, away from me. There were some…bad things that happened, but one of the best is currently showing the American how to hurt your Shinji."

"That won't even phase him," she disagreed. "The only way to truly cause him pain is…she knew she was going to be killed."

"Mmm."

"She knew Khlorya was going to come in here and just kill everyone she could lay her hands on." Incredulity caused her to shake her head. "No. No, I don't…I refuse to believe that Usagi Tsukino is a coward. An idiot, a pain in my ass, a liar…but never a coward."

"Then why didn't she stay when Khlorya attacked as she was evacuating? Why accept my brother's plan?"

She looked askance at him. "You don't know the answer?"

"There's a lot I don't know. I'm not omniscient, or omnipotent. I've seen my limitations in both knowledge and power. I do what I can with what I have. That's why I'm up here talking to you, instead of down there speaking to myself. We're going to be leaving in a few minutes, and helping you figure out what your Usagi is thinking is a better use of my time than engaging in the novel act of speaking with someone who has the potential to wield as much power as I do."

"…I should have expected that. Even the version of you that made all of this is still painfully self-effacing."

"It's a character flaw. I'm still debating whether or not this is all a dream, from time to time. Never let him think either of us is perfect…but try to help him see how much better he is than he thinks he is. It's helped me a great deal over the years to speak with my therapist and then have the lessons I pick up in therapy reinforced by the people who love me without them even knowing I'd learned the lesson." Reaching over, The Wanderer gripped Rei's shoulder firmly. "You're a strong, dependable, warrior. You're also a warm, giving, woman. If I could only ever trust him with one person…it'd probably be you." Half of his mouth lifted up in a pained smile. "Because I know that you're strong enough to know when to be one of those two, and when to be the other." His eyes grew distant, then he scowled. "We need to go now. I doubt we'll be back for a very long time. He needs to prove to himself that he can overcome all of this, or he'll never survive what I would ask of him. So don't look to us for any more help. Dig deep, and trust your instincts."

Between two heartbeats, the occupancy rate of the Hikawa Shrine was once again back to a handful, the visitors from another realm disappearing without any further warning. Rei looked down to the courtyard to see the others looking back up at her, a sudden feeling of great responsibility for them weighing down on her firmly. She raised her voice enough to be heard, "Be right down. I think we need to have a talk."

+++++ Hikawa Shrine. (Thursday + 26)

Shinji could feel the calm he'd been awash in fading, slowly. He was debating whether or not to tell anyone, considering that they were already involved in a discussion of more than passing merit. The debate as to why Usagi might have accepted her banishment so easily, what it might mean, and who would be best suited to spending time pondering those questions was more important than his emotions, or so he thought.

"I'm sorry, dear, but we need to put this conversation aside for a moment." Daphne was well enough in tune with Shinji to know that he was hiding something, even without the physical markers that his fidgeting provided. "Shinji dear, if you don't spit it out, I'm going to become angry again. We both know what happened the last time, and I'd really like to have enough calm to apologize properly for that, so please don't make me have to apologize for two incidents."

"No abusing people," Sarah stated flatly. "We resolve our disagreements with words, not fists."

"I agree, actually. The problem is that my temper has become tightly bound to his own, and I was rather put out at finding myself alone in a cave of glass." The Dryad smiled sadly. "Which is why I'm going to apologize, and why I'm trying to help him help me while we all help him."

"I earned i-urk," Shinji's statement was cut off by all five women present turning and glaring at him. "…She had a right to be angry with me."

"She did not have a right to punch you," Yukiko asserted, her finger pointing at his nose. "Do you think we'd be all right with you punching any of us? Hmm? Do you think that somehow it's ok for us to take advantage of your deep-seated phobias regarding hurting others? We'll all become angry with each other from time to time. That's fine. The next person to strike someone is going to be given a very, very, unpleasant punishment. We are all adults here, and we are going to treat each other with respect."

Daphne squeezed his flank firmly. "I agree with her, and since I'm the one who struck you that means that you don't get to tell me how I feel. What you do get to do, though, is tell us what's going on in your head. Let's not waste this moment of calm, yes?"

He looked towards the ground, unable to meet anyone's eyes. "I…I think that he…I could feel calmer when he was here."

"That's a feature of his existence, yes." Yukiko nodded, easily figuring out the rest. "He can't override deep-seated hatred, or strident emotions of any type, not without constant exposure. But being around him, if you're not feeling any overly strong emotions, will lead you towards feeling a sense of calm."

"…Michiru and Haruka did the same thing, kind of." He looked over towards the orderly rows of graves that had been dug and filled. His focus on the twin grave of the two Sailors he'd grown fondest of. The first tear that escaped his eye startled him, the second and third eroded the last of his restraint, and by the time the fourth formed he was already on his knees allowing his broken heart the room it needed to purge itself of the poison that had built up within him.

+++++ Hikawa Shrine. (Friday + 27)

At some point during Shinji's weeping the decision had been made to pull some blankets and pillows out to where he was kneeling. Small side conversations occurred while people were positioning themselves around him so that he could feel that he wasn't alone in his sorrows. Sarah and Rei joined him in crying, for a time, as both had become close to those others that had been killed as well. Yukiko kept her tears within, determined to be a pillar of strength for everyone at a moment where the Hope she was responsible for seemed so far away. Mizore mourned in her own way, but the life she'd lived up to that point had hardened her far too much and made open displays of distress almost impossible.

It was Daphne, once again, who spent the entire time laying across Shinji's lap trying to smooth out the jagged edges of his emotions. The Dryad had carefully chosen flowering plants that would both fill the air with pleasant, soothing, scents and remind everyone who looked upon them that the lives resting beneath those flowers were beloved by someone. Each lull in the storms of his sorrows was another opportunity for her to reach up and wipe away the tears he'd shed, filling his mind with the feel of her presence, and the knowledge that he was not alone. After one such intimate exchange, she caught his eyes lingering on her for longer than was typical for him. "Yes?"

"…I think I understand why you're able to try to move on, now." Shinji's fingers lightly brushed her mossy hair away from her face. "They're…they're gone. I can spend hundreds of years holding onto the memories of the dead, holding them up as a shield against further risks…or I can mourn them, accept that whatever it was I felt for them is forever beyond my grasp, and open myself up to the people in front of me that want to help me learn how not to be miserable." The way her lips curled into a victorious grin made his heart ache. "How is your smile so much more beautiful than anyone else's?"

"Because when I smile, I smile with the happy memories of those who've helped me get this far. I smile with the love others have had for me, and the love I've had for them." Her fingers caressed his face. "One can do both, after all. You can love the people around you, and love the people behind you. Their battle is done, ours is not. They would wish us to carry on, to fight and win…just as we wish their rest in the Elysian Fields to be joyous. I pray that Suzuhara finds love, wherever his spirit has gone to. I pray that he is not alone and in pain. But I know that he is content that I have a role yet to play in this life. That of anyone I might have been able to tie myself to, you are the best choice I could have made."

He opened his mouth to speak, thought better of it and closed his mouth, then realized that if he didn't ask questions he stood no chance of learning answers. "…Will he still love you, if there is such a place that people go to when they're dead? I…I would hurt, losing you…but he deserves to have you with him, there."

"We are immortal, silly man. I do not plan on either of us ever seeing him again, because I do not plan on allowing you to be killed. So long as our tree remains, so shall we. Wheresoever we go, so goes our tree. She, just as much as we, is now part of a much larger family." Her fingertip tapped his lips. "Thank you for pushing through your own hang-ups enough to ask that question. It was rather plain to see that you almost did not."

"Trying not to…how did you put it…fill our garden with sorrows?"

She tugged him so that he toppled over, lying down on a thick blanket with her, then covering them over with another blanket and laying inside his arms facing him. "I am very, very sorry for striking you," she breathed into his chest, pulling him close. "It, much like the rest of the beginning of our lives together, was not the way we should have wanted it to be. I promise, I will make it up to you…when we're both calmer."

+++++ Hikawa Shrine. (Friday + 27)

Once Shinji had finally drifted off to sleep, in the early hours of the morning, Yukiko moved to the far side of the shrine from everyone else. Finding a comfortable spot on the ground, she sat down and summoned one of her siblings that she felt understood her better than any of the others. While she waited, she pondered how long it would be before Maria was able to reincorporate herself. She doubted it would be more than a week, even with the level of brutality that Khlorya had displayed. A week would be more than enough for her to encourage Shinji to give in to lust.

"You may wish to be cautious, Hope." A deep tenor announced the arrival of one of her brothers, "The society he was raised in is vastly different than our own. He may see you for the child you are."

"I love you too, Justice." Yukiko rolled her eyes, happily accepting the playful ribbing for what it was. "Believe it or not, that's why I called you here. He's been raised outside of any form of non-mundane interactions. Even those abominations he and his fellows piloted were fundamentally rooted in non-magical practices. The partnering of a cognition matrix to another was as esoteric as it went, and even that is easily achievable by any species with enough understanding of how to manipulate quantum superpositions."

"I'm not entirely certain that you want me to take him under my wing."

"No, no. I'm asking for a second opinion. I was considering…restoring a few of his fallen allies. It would only be to the point that I last saw them, of course, don't want them remembering being torn apart in a desperate fight to the death. My thought was that it would be a wonderful dowry, so to speak."

Justice's lips bunched off to one side, his close-cropped white hair receiving a good scrubbing as he thought through the situation. "I don't know…ethically, that's pretty close to a red line. What will the society at large believe happened to them? Is there a way you can 'hide' their revival?"

"You do know that 'the society' you're speaking about currently consists of six living and one slowly reincorporating beings, no two of which are from the same clade, right?"

"Really?" He looked over towards where he could sense the sleeping denizens. "Was it a natural event?"

"Not even close. Have you really not been paying attention?"

"It's not like I have nothing else to do, myself!" He spread his hands apart, well aware that his sister was becoming disappointed in him. "You know that not two galaxies away there's interstellar wars raging on! Someone has to monitor the greater powers, make sure that they aren't just going around destroying matter willy-nilly. Since Temperance is busy tracking down what happened to the Firstborn, and you know that Courage and Prudence aren't interested in something this supposedly trivial, that left either Faith or Charity to do something if not me."

"If I remember correctly, the Court decided that it was your job to watch my back. Specifically so that if I had a conundrum like this, you would already know the situation."

"I am watching your back! If those five races drift over to this area and start blowing up stars, then you're going to be dragged into the conflict too. Your…partner? Lover? Your Shinji, yeah, your Shinji will end up being dragged into a conflict he's not ready for!"

Yukiko blew out an exasperated sigh. "He's not even Shinji anymore! Did you not feel it when he claimed the title of Chaos?"

"He what now?"

"You're an idiot."

"…Don't be mean."

"I'm not, I'm being descriptive. A living being has assumed the mantle of one of the most primal powers in all the multiverse, and you're worried about a few piddling stars?! He could wake up later this morning and decide that he's not partial to the entire southeastern region of this galaxy, then just jettison it off into whatever direction strikes his fancy by sneezing! I am, quite literally, one of a handful of women that has any chance of distracting him from figuring that out, and you're off chasing arthropods!"

Justice looked over towards Shinji again. "Should we kill him while he's asleep?"

"You even contemplate the concept of his demise, and I'm going to make it so every star system in this entire universe has a portion of their horizon that displays nothing but what happened to you when you first used your powers, on a loop, for the rest of eternity." The complete lack of empathy in her voice only buttressed the threat. "Entire religions will be formed around the most embarrassing moment you've ever experienced, and their prayers will lift that moment in time higher and higher with each repetition. It will be inescapable. Am I, in any way, being unclear?"

He looked to the ground, chastened, and murmured in the affirmative, "No, ma'am."

"Now, I have asked you for your input on a very serious situation. Should I, or should I not, attempt to resurrect the dead?"

"If it were me, I would not." His hands clasped together, and he began twiddling his thumbs. "Beyond the possibility that there was a reason for their demise, there is also the necessary consideration of the fairness to those you do not choose to bring back. Several tens of billions of sentient beings populated this planet, and to only bring back a few handfuls would risk upsetting the sense of justice their energy anticipates. You say that it's not a natural genocide, which means that another sentient actor was engaging in violence to some stated end. If you don't know what that end was, you risk upsetting the entire balance of the universe. Whatever crimes they commit, after you restored them, would rest on your head."

"…Damn it." Flapping her arms against her sides a few times, she looked up to the protective dome the man she loved had built. "It's not a 'no' forever…just until I can figure out why and what."

"That, I can agree with. There isn't any reason to throw out the entire idea, just…maybe reconsider when and how, maybe even who. It'll be better to have good answers to work with, and I'm willing to withhold any permanent judgement on the idea until you have those answers. I'll even support the idea to the Court if you can convince me, no matter who disagrees." He gestured vaguely southward. "I'm feeling some fairly powerful life that way…are they antagonistic?"

She had to control her temper enough to not immediately begin swearing again. "That would likely be the Adamspawn that came from his home dimension. They are seeking a way off of this planet, for fear of upsetting him enough that he attacks them. They've already made a bargain to stay away from his expanding sphere of influence, and I don't see them betraying that oath considering what they now know he's capable of."

Justice's face brightened. "Then I can help you with that dowry! I'll go take them to another planet far away from here, so that they don't have to risk upsetting him, since they don't belong here anyway. You can say that you handled the situation, without getting into specifics, and that they're nowhere near here. That would leave just the Blackspawn that are native to this reality, and those should be more than easy enough for him to handle. He grows in confidence, learns to use his power safely, and you gain his confidence, and can mate with him at your pleasure."

"Leisure," she corrected him. "…But yes. If you would please go around this planet and remove any hostile life that the rules allow you to, I would appreciate it."

"Will do!" He went to turn away and leave, then stopped and clapped excitedly. "I'll drop them in the middle of that battle! They can occupy and defend one of the systems at risk of untimely annihilation. It'll make my job easier, since they're far more powerful than any of the belligerents, and I'll make transporting them there the cost for their defending those important systems. I'm brilliant!"

Yukiko rolled her eyes after her brother disappeared. She loved him, despite his flaws, but there was no question that 'Justice' was headed by an idiot. Sneaking back to the sleeping group, she doffed her clothing and slid into place on the opposing side of Shinji from Daphne. She might not have been able to give him what she wanted to, but at least she was able to give him some peace.

+++++ Hikawa Shrine. (Friday + 27)

Sleep was reluctant to let go of Shinji, the weight of several people pressing down on him being just enough to make him feel completely at ease when combined with the aromatherapy Daphne had created. He could hear soft whispers in many voices, but even those were rubbing against his brain in such a way that it felt no urgent need to make the switch from sub-consciousness to full consciousness yet. Sarah had, at some point in the night, slipped between his legs to sleep with her torso pressed against his groin. It might have been physically uncomfortable had she weighed more than a few stone, and the slight mental discomfort from her closeness with him was easily ignored with how wonderful it felt for her to be running her hand against his abs lightly. Daphne was still curled under his arm, her fingertips tracing the odd markings he'd gained from….

None of the women with him were quite ready for him to startle awake and launch himself towards the graves. Nor were they able to piece together why he went to the Kodama's grave. When he physically tore the ground open through magically assisted brute force, the situation clicked for Daphne, who ran over to do what she could to aid the situation. She arrived just as he hefted the coffin out of the grave, tearing it open for him.

Shinji reached in and hauled a very alive, and very terrified youkai out of the coffin. Sitting on the edge of the grave he'd just unearthed, he kept her in his lap and rocked back and forth whispering every assurance he could think of to offer. "It's ok! It's ok! I swear, I didn't…I didn't think. This wasn't intentional! This is not some form of twisted punishment, and you aren't unimportant to me. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"I didn't…sense her?" Yukiko looked to Rei, baffled at what was happening. "There's no way we could have heard her struggling beneath that much dirt and rock. Did he do this?"

"I hope you're just asking because it helps you think when you say it out loud," Rei snorted. "Because I've given up on explaining what happens around him anymore." When Yukiko disappeared from sight, she walked slowly over to assist the others in calming the poor nature spirit. "I don't know how you figured it out, Shinji, but I'm glad you did." Still in her crystalline plugsuit, she crouched down near where he was comforting their latest blessing. "Is there anything I can get for you, ma'am? Water…maybe some food?"

The Kodama's voice was broken and harsh, her fingers digging painfully into Shinji's flesh. "S-sunlight. P-p-p-please."

Without hesitation, Shinji banished the dome overhead to allow the sun through. The air was cold, deep into Autumn and nearing Winter, but the light from the blazing ball of gas at the center of the solar system provided some small amount of warmth to the woman on his lap. "Anything else? Anything at all?"

She closed her eyes, soaking in the sunlight with the beginnings of relief showing on her face. "Water…please."

"Coming right up." Sarah motioned for Rei to stay where she was, then jogged towards The Tree.

Rei reached out with one hand, gently touching the Kodama's knee. "I know it sounds terrible right now, but I'm so happy that you're alive. I wish we had known how…." Pausing, she looked around. "Where's Mizore-san?"

"She went to the apartment building," Daphne replied. "As soon as she saw which grave he went towards, her eyes widened and she took off in that direction."

"I was acquiring medicine," the yuki-onna came coasting back onto the scene atop a wave of snow, carrying a medical basin. "I doubt any of the rest of you know much about treating a youkai's injuries, and what to and not to use on them." Setting down the basin, she began pulling out vials and reading the labels, putting some aside and others back into the basin. "I'm incredibly sorry, cousin, that I did not sense your presence." She mixed a few things together in a small cup, then soaked a bandage in the mixture. "If you would be so kind as to put this on your leg?"

The Kodama blinked, then shied away from it. "Th-that's…."

"Please." Mizore held it out firmly. "For only one second." She held up her other hand when Shinji went to speak. "Say nothing. I know what I am about."

"Is…are we…." She looked around, then nodded. "Yes. But I can't…I can't do it to myself. Please, Frostmother, I'm not brave enough for that." She lifted one leg up, offering her shin to the yuki-onna.

"Thank you." Instead of placing the entire bandage on the limb, she dabbed a corner of the cloth against her ankle and ripped it away when the flesh discolored and the Kodama groaned in pain. "Thank you, so much. I'm so very sorry…I promise, I will make amends." Coating the cloth in ice, she tossed it away and began mixing new chemicals together. "With everything that has been going on, I had to check. I accept the blame, Shinji, but I will not risk our safety anymore."

Without thinking through what his action might mean to anyone, Shinji reached down and attempted to wipe away the off-color patch. "What is this stuff?" The Kodama's face grew flush, and she bit her lower lip. "Are you ok?"

She nodded earnestly. "Y-yes…that…feels very nice."

"It is an herbicide." Shooing away his hand, she wrapped a new bandage around the spot. "If you are going to return her affections, I'm going to have to wash your thumb now." She motioned for him to work with her. "Hand."

He cautiously moved his hand towards Mizore to avoid touching the Kodama. "So you were checking that she was actually a Kodama, and not…someone else."

Mizore firmly scrubbed at his thumb with a solvent. "She's become entangled with you, possibly. I think that's why we couldn't sense her, is because we were sensing you. The markings you have, from when she healed you, there's no guarantee what effect they did or did not have on either of you. Her hysteria didn't help, and your decisions at the point did not allow for us to analyze the situation."

"Knowing his mind is…was, terrifying." Her head twitched with nervous energy as she looked up into Shinji's eyes. "He's…calmer, now. I've never felt anyone as filled with rage, before. Even the most angered of us could never hope to match his…." She swallowed, then looked away. "His people were being taken from him, and there would be no peace until whoever had done so was crushed."

Shame coated Shinji. His unrestrained thoughts, untethered emotions, had harmed a gentle creature. "I'm…I'm, uhm…." The soft, genuine, remorse in his tone brought the Kodama's eyes back around to him. "I'm very sorry, Kodama-san. You shouldn't have had to…experience that."

"N-no!" She shook her head fiercely. "I-I mean it was overwhelming, yeah, and I was really scared, sure, but I wouldn't ever, ever, go back to the way I was before. It's…I've…I've been choked by a forest my whole life, fighting for any scrap of sunlight! That's a good way to explain this, I think…maybe…. Now I'm in full sun, soaking in everything that I didn't even know existed beyond the shade of the older trees, don't take it away from me just because I…I didn't know how to accept it…maybe?"

"You didn't know how to process it," Rei offered, extending the water Sarah had returned with along with the wisdom. "It took me a bit to get used to hearing his voice in my head, and even longer to try and match up what he was saying with what I could feel from him. He'd be angry, but it'd be at himself with his words and the world at large with his emotions. He really doesn't know how to express himself, and that's not unusual or strange for anyone…just amplified because his emotional growth was stunted so badly when he was young."

"When," Shinji snorted out a contemptuous chuckle. "I'm still a fucking child, going around hurting people without knowing I'm doing it."

"And that's not helpful either," Sarah scolded him with more than a little heat. "Beating up on yourself doesn't do anyone any good! We know you're not meaning to be an asshole sometimes, and we know that you're going to make it up to us later. What you need to do, instead of wallowing in whatever stupid decision you made, is show us that you're trying to get better. You did the right thing here, for her, by apologizing. She's a lot rattled right now, and can't phrase her thoughts properly, so she's telling you that she's not angry with you in the only way she can. Best thing for you to do is calm down, accept that she's ok, and reapproach the topic later after thinking it through. She's one of us now. No changing it, no going back and undoing it, it's just how it is."

"I-I-I'd be really happy t-to be one of you!" She looked amongst the other women present, her heart sinking slightly as she realized how 'outclassed' she likely was. Sitting there helping each other was a half-breed shrine maiden with the poise and refined elegance of a Princess and the strength and focus of a warrior, a yuki-onna that was a legend even amongst the youkai for her capabilities in battle and the list of would-be suitors she'd turned down flat, a human woman who'd earned her place at Shinji's side with a combination of grit and guile, and the final Elysian survivor. This was to say nothing of the immensely powerful being that had disappeared, who clearly had Shinji's scent upon her, or Mother Moon, who he'd sent forward in time to safety. "I…uhm…I don't really know how to, though."

Daphne settled herself beside Shinji, hugging both the Kodama and him together. "By not comparing yourself to any other. We each bring unique experiences, unique viewpoints, and unique skills. You are neither unvalued, nor redundant. Spend time with us, learn from us and teach us, and don't be afraid to tell us when we're screwing something up. More communication, not less, is what we need now."

The sound of another grave being forced open brought everyone's attention over, Yukiko helping Clare up and out of the coffin, urging her to breathe. "I am not certain myself how you have managed to cover over the return of these two to us, but I am not going to complain."

"Oh," Clare coughed out with a raspy voice, "wow…. I…I really don't…."

"Please…I'm sorry." Shinji settled the Kodama with Daphne, then jumped over to the grave that had been dug out for Clare, hefting Clare up into a rough embrace. "I'm so, so sorry. Your brother…he…he was…."

"Yeah." Wrapping her own arms as tight as she could around Shinji's neck, she buried her face into the space between and gasped out a sob. "We…we didn't stand a chance."

Those remaining souls present watched as Shinji slowly rocked Clare side to side, standing as the rock she could cling to while she grieved for the loss of her brother. What only Yukiko saw, firsthand, was the way Shinji wobbled between a host of different emotional states. Anger, sorrow, relief, anxiety, his heart couldn't make up its mind as to how to feel about what he had just been told, what he had just seen, and what he could do going forward. Silently, she prayed she'd made the right decision.