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Chapter 16The days leading up to the afternoon day passed swiftly for the inhabitants of both Longbourn and Netherfield. Georgiana diligently avoided the company of her brother and husband, having at last decided to wait on her conversation with the Bennets before speaking to the gentlemen. She feigned her courses and a megrim to avoid any encounters with her cousin so he could not insist she speak to her husband on the matter of Jane Bennet.
As the hour approached, Lizzy and Kitty called for their carriage. Mrs. Bennet began to insist they go on horseback, as it looked like rain, but Lizzy stood firm in her refusal.
"I would rather walk the three miles than arrive on horseback," she told her mother.
"Walk three miles? In all that dirt? You'll not be fit to be seen!" cried the lady. Grumbling, she acquiesced, and the girls departed in relief.
As the carriage took them to Netherfield, Georgiana stood anxiously in the parlor. She had chosen that room specifically for the view of the drive. Although she had gained quite a lot of confidence since her marriage, at heart she was still the shy girl she had always been. Making new friends had never come easy for her, but she was determined to make the attempt.
Finally, the carriage arrived, and both Bennet sisters disembarked. Georgiana sat down and smoothed her dress, then smoothed it again, waiting anxiously.
Lizzy and Kitty were admitted at the front door. While a footman took their cloaks and bonnets, they looked around admiringly at the décor. It had been several years since Netherfield had been inhabited, and even then the furnishings were rather drab.
Now, however, the carpets and draperies bespoke the classic elegance of the mistress. It boded well for their visit. If she had filled Netherfield with ornate bric-a-brac and decorated in the Egyptian style, then we would not be friends! thought Lizzy in amusement, following the footman down the hall.
"Miss Bennet and Miss Catherine," intoned the footman as he announced their arrival.
"Mrs. Bingley," murmured Kitty and Lizzy in unison as they curtsied.
Georgianna curtsied in response, then cleared her throat before speaking, "I am delighted to have you visit. Please, sit." She beckoned the girls to sit on the settee near her.
After a few moments of awkward silence, Lizzy said, "This is a lovely room."
"Yes, it is," smiled Georgiana. Why can I not think of anything to say? Stupid girl, loosen your tongue! "My sisters-in-law were very helpful in sharing their opinions about the furnishings." Not that I took any heed of their poor taste.
Lizzy noticed the unique phrasing and smiled to herself. A few more seconds passed in silence.
"Tea!" exclaimed Georgiana. Kitty and Lizzy jumped slightly, and Georgiana blushed. "I mean, allow me to ring for tea." She stood and pulled the bell.
A maid quickly entered, bobbing a curtsy. "We would like some tea," Georgiana requested. The maid bobbed another curtsy and left without a word.
A few more minutes passed in silence, which continued as housekeeper brought in the tea service. Georgiana broke the silence by asking Lizzy and Kitty what they would have to drink. She poured their tea, making sure to listen to their requests, and served each girl a teacup and saucer.
The following silence was punctuated by the sips of tea as the ladies kept their eyes firmly on their saucers. Lizzy and Kitty were waiting for their hostess to begin conversation, whereas all of Georgiana's carefully rehearsed small talk had disappeared from her brain.
"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Georgiana blurted out, unable to bear the silence any longer. Seeing the startled faces of her guests, she continued, "I cannot think of anything to say that would work for new acquaintances."
Lizzy looked at her curiously. "Why not say what you want to say instead?"
Georgiana looked at her gratefully. "I am not entirely unaware of the history my husband has with your sister. I do not know all the details, but I understand he paid his attentions to her once, several years ago, and that he did not behave in a gentlemanlike manner." At Lizzy's raised eyebrows, she rushed on, "My marriage to Charles occurred due to a rather uncomfortable situation in which he did the honorable thing. It was not a love match, but nor was it arranged by my brother."
Biting her tongue to quench her curiosity, Lizzy nodded.
"I know, however, that your sister cared for him very much, and he felt the same for her. My brother is not without blame, either, I know; at that time, our father had recently passed and he was in a contrary mood for a few years, with Charles blinding following his lead."
Kitty's mouth was slightly agape at this flood of knowledge, and Lizzy discreetly elbowed her to close it.
"I know that nothing can change the past or the present circumstances. I can, however, heartily apologize for any role my marriage may have in your sister's current departure from Longbourn and any sorrow she may feel. Also, while it is not my place to apologize for my husband and brother, as I was only eleven years old when the situation occurred, I still wish to offer my sincerest apologies for their shameful actions," Georgiana concluded in a rush.
The room was quiet for a few minutes. Georgiana focused on sipping her tea to quench her parched throat. Kitty was at a loss for words and tried to stifle a nervous cough.
Lizzy opened her mouth several times to speak, only to close it again when nothing came out. Finally, she said carefully, "My dear Mrs. Bingley, I am grateful beyond words for your forthright candor. Please be assured that Jane's travels to London are not a sign of a broken heart. Our aunt Gardiner has been confined to her bed, and Jane goes to help tend the children and run the household."
Seeing Georgiana's embarrassment, she continued, "I cannot deny that my sister was much hurt by their behavior. However, given her reticent nature and your husband's apparent inability to stand firm in his resolve, it seems as though it has all turned out for the best. She bears you no ill-will in the slightest."
Here Kitty interrupted, "Indeed not! Shortly before she left, she shared her disappointment with me in not being able to further her acquaintance with you, as she expressed a desire to know you better after seeing you at the assembly."
Georgiana's shoulders seemed to visibly straighten as the weight of the confession was lifted from them. "I, too, have wished a further acquaintance with her and all of you." She faltered, then pressed forward, "I have not had many friends over the last few years."
Lizzy reached out and grasped Georgiana's hand, "I would like to be your friend," she said encouragingly. "We all need friends in whom we can trust."
Georgiana squeezed her hand in return, overcome with emotion at the forgiveness and kindness from the Bennet sisters.
"Now then," said Lizzy, sitting back and picking up her tea once more, "if we are to be friends, we must learn everything about one another!"
Georgiana stared at her in astonishment, then burst into laughter. "Very well, but you must share first!"
The ladies then passed several hours becoming acquainted, their conversation regularly interrupted with bursts of giggles. Lizzy and Kitty shared their childhood adventures with Georgiana, who was fascinated to hear about life with many siblings. In return, Georgiana told of her quiet life at Pemberley and her discomfort at finishing school. Ramsgate was never mentioned, however. That will be shared at a later date, when I have more assurance of their discretion, Georgiana told herself.
Their cheer was only interrupted when Georgiana saw a carriage arrive bearing Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley. "Oh, Lord, look at the time!" exclaimed Georgiana, interrupting Lizzy in the middle of a story about when the pig had gotten into the gardens.
At first, Lizzy was slightly hurt that her new friend seemed desirous of ending what she had felt was an enjoyable visit. Then she followed her hostess's gaze to the window and saw the new arrivals. Remembering their pride and snobbery at the assembly, she nodded at a confused Kitty. "We quite understand," Lizzy said hastily, pulling her sister to her feet.
"I am so terribly sorry," Georgiana said in embarrassment. "I did not mean to interrupt, I simply –"
"Really, Mrs. Bingley," said Lizzy, nodding at the window, "I understand entirely."
Georgiana smiled in relief, then said, "Please, call me Georgiana."
"And we are Lizzy and Kitty," said the former in reply, tugging a bewildered Kitty towards the door.
The Bennets met Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley in the entrance hall. Curtsies were exchanged as footmen and maids retrieved and collected cloaks and bonnets.
"I did not know you expected visitors today, Georgiana, dear," said Miss Bingley in a sweet tone. "We would never have left you by yourself to entertain otherwise."
Kitty stifled a gasp at the implied criticism, and Lizzy gave Miss Bingley a sharp look. "We had quite an enjoyable visit, Georgiana, dear," Lizzy said.
Miss Bingley's eyes widened slightly at Lizzy's casual use of Georgiana's name. She opened her mouth, but she was silenced by Georgiana's response.
"Thank you, Lizzy, for coming, and you as well, Kitty," replied Georgiana with a warm smile at the two of them. "I will return the call in a few days. I look forward to renewing my acquaintance with the others of your family."
"We would be delighted!" exclaimed Kitty happily, oblivious to the underlying tension. Lizzy hid a smile. For all of Kitty's improvements over the years, she occasionally showed signs of the same girl she was as a child.
Curtsies were exchanged again, and the Bennet girls entered their carriage and departed. As their carriage left from sight, Georgiana returned to the parlor, closely followed by Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst.
"Georgiana, dear," began Miss Bingley in a cloying voice, "perhaps you are unaware of the Bennet family's true situation in life. While we were in the rather small village of Meryton, we inquired after them."
"Why would you do that?" Georgiana asked calmly picking up her embroidery hoop.
Mrs. Hurst blinked in surprise. "To ensure that we surround ourselves with good society, of course. It would not do to keep company with those who are beneath us."
"Mr. Bennet is a gentleman, is he not? Whereas your father was from trade," Georgiana pointed out.
"Yes, but their mother and her family are not of good breeding. Her father was a solicitor, and her brother is in trade and lives in Cheapside," Miss Bingley impatiently explained.
"But marriage raises a woman's status, does it not? Otherwise, Mrs. Hurst could not be considered a gentlewoman, or so I believe." Georgiana blinked innocently.
Mrs. Hurst blushed, but Miss Bingley continued on, "My dear Georgiana, surely you must see that the Bennets are simply out for what they can get! Their estate is entailed away from the female line, and their dowry is small. Additionally, their uncle must be coarse indeed, if he is dwelling in Cheapside."
"Upon my word!" exclaimed Georgiana. "It would not matter if they had uncles enough to fill all of Cheapside! It would not make them one jot less agreeable. No," she said firmly as her sisters by marriage made to protest, "I will not be dissuaded. I enjoyed their company very much, and I plan on continuing the acquaintance. Now, if you will excuse me, it is time to dress for dinner."
With her final statement ringing in the air, Georgiana marched from the parlor and up the stairs to her bedroom. Once there, she rang for her maid. As her maid helped her change clothes, she said, "Sarah, please inform my husband's valet that I have something I need to discuss with Charles in private after we retire."
"Yes, Miss Da-, I mean, Mrs. Bingley," her maid stammered in surprise. Georgiana gave her a fond smile. Sarah had been her lady's maid since she went to finishing school. She was the only person in the world, other than her brother and her husband, who knew the truth about Ramsgate and the celibate state of her marriage. Sarah was more than a servant – she was a trusted confidant. As such, this request to have Bingley join Georgiana in her rooms was unprecedented and surprising.
"Thank you, Sarah. I merely have some things to discuss with him that I do not want anyone to hear," she explained as Sarah finished pinning up the last few strands of hair into her coiffure.
Sarah bobbed a curtsied and departed. Georgiana took a few deep breaths, then left her room and knocked on her brother's bedroom door.
Darcy's valet answered, a stern look on his face. "My master is not to –." He halted suddenly when he recognized the person in front of him. "My apologies, Mrs. Bingley. I did not expect you," he stammered.
Georgiana smiled, "No worries, I am not Miss Bingley," she teased, and he blushed.
"Georgiana, come in and leave the poor man be," an amused Darcy called from further in the bedroom where he was buttoning his shirt sleeves. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"
"You may change your mind about pleasure when I tell you that I would like to discuss the Bennets," answered Georgiana as she entered the room.
The smile faded from Darcy's face. "Ah, yes, Fitzwilliam mentioned you would want to speak with me about them."
Georgiana related the afternoon tea she had with the Bennets. As she spoke, his face grew progressively grim. "I sincerely regret any distress that Miss Bennet felt by my actions," he said fervently. "I was unaware that Bingley had made such assurances to her, and that her heart was engaged, or I would have advised him differently."
"You would have allowed him to court her and propose?" Georgiana asked in astonishment.
"Certainly not," Darcy said firmly. "Bingley was only seventeen years old at the time, and he had many years left at Oxford. I do not regret counseling him against any woman during those years. What I do regret, however, was labeling her a fortune hunter and absconding with him without even a farewell."
"You were of a more cynical nature at that time," Georgiana admitted.
"Yes, well, Father had passed away, I had the burdens of Pemberley and you, and since I was master instead of heir, my value had increased tremendously. I was in no humor to give consequence to any young woman slighted by other men and still unwed."
"Brother, that is harsh," chided Georgiana.
Darcy hung his head. "You are correct, Sister. Although I have made efforts to not give way to pride, it does not come easily for me. I have much to learn, and much to make amends for."
"You will be relieved to learn, then, that while Miss Bennet was heartbroken when Charles left her, she has quite recovered. Her sisters are all that are gracious, and I intend to befriend them," Georgiana informed him.
The worry lines in Darcy's face eased somewhat. "I am grateful for it. I still feel the need to atone, however."
"Then be kind," she said.
"Be kind? That's all?" Darcy asked incredulously.
"You may owe a verbal apology when you are better acquainted," she admitted, "but for now, the best thing you can do is show them your respect and offer them your friendship. They will then understand that you do not view them in a negative light, and that your actions from years ago were not of a personal nature."
"I will do my best," he told her. She smiled at him. Just then, Darcy's valet entered the room again, having left to give them privacy for their conversation. "It is time for you to go down to dinner, sir," he informed his master.
"Thank you, Carson," Darcy said, and he offered Georgiana his arm.
When they reached the sitting room, they saw all of the other occupants of Netherfield had already gathered together, even Miss Bingley. "There you are!" the lady pronounced in a loud voice. "How we despaired of you!"
Darcy rolled his eyes slightly at Georgiana. She grinned at him, then turned to her sister-in-law. "My apologies, Caroline, but my brother and I were having an important conversation."
"And what, pray tell, was so important that you were late for dinner?" Miss Bingley asked in a coy voice.
"A private matter," Darcy answered shortly.
"A private matter! But we are all family, are we not? Surely, we should have no secrets from each other, being as close as we are!" cried Miss Bingley, crossing the room to Darcy.
"Then it would have been pointless to speak in private!" Fitzwilliam said in a loudly cheerful voice. "We must allow siblings to have their own secrets," he said, winking at Miss Bingley when she opened her mouth to give a rebuttal.
"Quite right!" Bingley added. He gave his sister a sharp look. "May I remind you, Caroline, that there are certain things you would prefer I discuss with you in private than in front of guests or even family?"
Caroline blushed and murmured her agreement. Thankfully, at that moment the butler entered and announced dinner. Charles came to collect Georgiana, then extended his other arm to his sister. She glanced at Darcy, then took her brother's arm in annoyance. They were followed by the Hursts, who were in turn followed by Darcy.
Dinner was unexceptional; Miss Darcy carried the conversation by disdaining the wares she discovered at the shops in Meryton. Darcy listened absentmindedly, his unfocused gaze betraying that his thoughts were elsewhere. Bingley kept giving Georgiana furtive glances, which she took to mean that his valet had passed along her request. Mrs. Hurst periodically made statements in accordance with her sister's, and Mr. Hurst was heavily involved in his food.
"Superb meal, as always," he grunted in appreciation to Georgiana as the last course was completed.
Georgiana signaled to the ladies to retire to the piano room. Colonel Fitzwilliam jumped to his feet and pulled her aside. "You spoke to your brother?" he asked in a whisper.
"Yes," she confirmed, "and it appears he is much repentant for what happened. Lizzy and Kitty assured me at our tea today that they bear no ill will towards anyone, and neither does their sister."
Fitzwilliam nodded, then bowed as she and the other ladies made their way towards the music room, where Georgiana and Miss Bingley took turns at the pianoforte.
The men were not long at their port, and shortly after they joined the women, Bingley gave an overly large yawn. "I do believe I will retire early tonight," he said, looking everywhere but at his wife.
"I believe I will as well," Darcy said hastily, and Fitzwilliam echoed the opinion. With Bingley and Georgiana from the room, neither man wanted stay with the remaining members of the party.
Without allowing anyone to protest, Bingley hurried out the door, followed by Darcy and Fitzwilliam. After a few minutes, Georgiana also excused herself early. She reached the top of the stairs to discover her husband waiting for her. "I will join you shortly," he informed her solemnly.
She nodded, suddenly nervous, and went to her room. Sarah helped her put on plain nightgown with a modest dressing gown over the top. It suddenly had occurred to her that Bingley might have a different understanding of what she wanted to discuss than she did.
About ten minutes later, a knock sounded at the door that connected her room from the master's suite. It had never been locked, but neither had they opened it before. Georgiana dismissed Sarah, and she called for Bingley to enter.
Bingley was also dressed for the night, and he had a worried expression on his face. "My dear," he began hesitantly, but was unable to speak further.
Georgiana gave a nervous giggle, then said, "Don't be alarmed, Charles. I wish to discuss Jane Bennet with you."
Bingley started, then stared at her in astonishment. It was clear that it was not the topic of conversation that he had anticipated. "I beg your pardon?" he said in a strangled voice.
At his expression, Georgiana could not help but letting out a full laugh. "Oh, Charles, you should see your face!"
Bingley blushed and then began to laugh himself. Once they had settled, she bade him sit on the settee next to her chair.
"You have been extremely patient with me," she said, "and I cannot begin to express my gratitude for everything that you have done for me."
Bingley waved his hand at her to dismiss her words. "It was the right thing to do."
"It was the generous thing to do," she insisted. "Not many men would agree to marry a young woman who was potentially compromised, refuse to touch her dowry, allow her to remain with her brother, actively work to build her esteem, and leave the marriage unconsummated." She blushed at this last sentence.
Bingley shook his head. "Your brother saved my life when we were boys. It was the least I could do for him. And for Jane Bennet."
"For Miss Bennet?" Georgiana asked in confusion. Whatever she had expected him to say, it had not been that.
"I always regretted leaving her the way that I did. I was ashamed to tell your brother that I had committed myself at such a young age, so I simply left. I carried that burden for years, knowing that I had engaged a young woman's affections and then abandoned her. I meant to return, but the Luddites business up north prevented me. By the time it was resolved, I knew she must be married, with her beauty. Too much time had passed. I still felt the guilt, however. When we came to Ramsgate and discovered the situation Wickham had put you in, I knew that I could make the right decision this time. I felt as though saving one woman could make up for abandoning another."
Georgiana nodded slowly. "I have always wondered why you offered me your hand. I knew you felt you owed my brother, but I felt there was more to it than that." She hesitated but pressed on. "Do – do you regret it?"
He thought for a minute, then answered. "Yes."
Her heart sank, but she pressed on, "Because…. Because… we could change it, you know."
Bingley looked up, startled. "What do you mean?"
"Our marriage – it could be annulled. Then you would be free to marry to your heart's desire." Georgiana held her breath, waiting his response, holding tears at bay.
"Annulled? No! Never!" he cried.
"But you said you regret marrying me," she said, refusing to meet his eyes.
Bingley crossed the room and knelt at her chair. "Georgiana, look at me," he said, grasping her chin and lifting her head. His serious green eyes met her tear-filled blue ones. "You misunderstand. I regret my behavior. I regret mistreating a good and gentle lady. However, I do not regret escaping a commitment I made at seventeen when I was too young to know my own mind. And I do not regret marrying you. Not for one minute."
She burst into tears and threw her arms around his neck. All of the worry she felt eased as he patted her back and smoothed her hair. After several minutes, her tears subsided, and she searched for a handkerchief. Dabbing her eyes, she said, "I needed to be sure. I did not want you to resent me."
He smiled kindly at her. "Georgiana, sweetheart, you are my wife. I made a vow in a church before God and man that I would comfort and honor you until death parts us. I take that seriously. On that day, I put all thoughts of Jane Bennet in the past. I have striven to correct the childish behaviors that caused me to make promises I couldn't – or wouldn't – keep."
Georgiana's eyes filled with tears. "At Ramsgate, I thought I was in love. These last eighteen months have shown me that I was wrong. Love is not love that bends with the remover to remove, but it looks on tempests and is never shaken. My regard for you is beginning to turn to that, I believe."
"As is mine," he said. He hesitated, then taking a breath said, "Georgiana, I still do not believe you are ready to consummate our marriage, are you?"
She blushed furiously, dropped her eyes to her lap, and shook her head. Then she said, "But Charles, if you want to – "
"No!" he interrupted brusquely. She recoiled in hurt and shame. Grasping her hand once again, he said in a softer voice, "Georgiana, I will not be ready until you are. I have never taken an unwilling woman, and I will not begin with my wife."
Her eyes met his in astonishment, and he smiled ruefully. "I know these are not the kinds of conversations one has with a maid, but we are also married, and it is important that we discuss them, no matter how it embarrasses us. I was planning to wait until you were eighteen to bring it up, which is when you would have come out to Society and been ready to make decisions about marriage."
Gently stroking his thumb on her hand, he said, "This conversation may be a bit earlier than I had planned, but circumstances necessitated it. If it is all right with you, I would like to court you."
Georgiana blinked in surprise. "But we are already married."
He laughed softly. "Yes, we are, and we are very fond of one another because we have known one another so long. We have a friendship. I would like for us to have more than that with one another. I would like for our affections to be more engaged. Had we had a proper courtship, I could have wooed you and we could have grown to love one another before we said our vows. Although we are already wed, I would still like to court you and allow our feelings to grow in a romantic way." He kissed her hand. "Would that be all right?"
Georgiana nodded silently, unable to speak.
"Very well, then," he said at her with a smile. "I will leave you now. Sweet dreams, my dear," he said as he kissed her cheek before returning to his room.
Georgiana raised her hand to her cheek where the feel of his kiss still lingered. After what seemed like hours, the noise of the footmen in the hallway securing the house for the night startled her from her repose and into her bed, where she dreamed of happiness and love.