CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I used to see the night so anxious
But now I know
The only thing it ever
Taught me was a grand illusion
That comes and goes
"Blue Beard"
Band of Horses
July 15, 2012
Chicago, Illinois
Chuck looked away as the phlebotomist inserted the needle into his arm, for what felt like the tenth time since he had regained consciousness. "Just a small pinch," she said softly. Chuck was sitting up, propped up with pillows behind his back, free of the oxygen mask and IVs. Since waking from a bout of sleep after coming out of his coma, he had had almost 45 minutes of nursing attention to remove various apparatus attached to him. After having received another transfusion, his pallor had returned to normal. Although, looking at him now, Sarah could tell the proximity of an unsheathed needle was quickly making him pale again.
"What's with all the blood...letting?" he asked, making eye contact with his wife who sat in the chair beside his bed. She watched him cringe as if the technician was coming at him with a nail gun.
"Chuck, they just cut a bullet out of your lung, and you're freaking out over a needle?" Sarah admonished him. "I know you don't like needles, but, all things considered-"
"I was...uh...unconscious...during...that," he said, panting as Sarah watched the tubes fill with blood. "Ha...ha…" He was forcing it, pretending to laugh when Sarah knew so obviously that he wasn't.
She smiled at him, humoring his slight panic. He was still teasing in tone, giggling, but after a moment, an electricity seemed to pass between them, as Chuck realized in this moment, this was the first time he was looking at her with her memory intact, without the stress of the mission and the constant fray of danger and worry. She was just Sarah, his wife, looking at him, the way she had always looked at him. A way he had feared for a long time that he would never see again. Her gentle smile, so loving and soft, was a panacea for all the remaining pain left in his body.
"Doctor's orders," the technician said dryly, not looking up from her task. The door to his room opened and shut. He saw Sarah smile in the direction of the door, thinking it had to be a familiar face who had entered.
"How you doin', Bro?" Devon called.
Chuck felt the needle slide out of his arm, then the hard pressure that made his fingers feel swollen, followed by a band aid application that pinched his arm and pulled on his arm hair. "I'll be better when I'm done being a pin cushion," he said with a chuckle and a sigh of relief.
Chuck turned to look at his brother-in-law, standing at the foot of his bed, his hands on his hips and his lab coat folded back behind his wrists. The ease on his face, the relaxed smile, was a welcome change from how strung-out and stressed he had been over the last few days. The fact that Chuck was alright had made everyone feel better.
"Dude, you have no idea how many doctors I've already kept at bay. You're lucky right now it's only blood. When you present like a medical miracle, they come out of the woodwork, Bro. Do you know how many papers Ellie and I were roped in on after Sarah was poisoned? Definitely not awesome," he said with a laugh, though the topic was serious. Nothing seemed worrisome at this moment.
"What does that mean?" Sarah asked him.
Devon looked between the two of them, his eyes wider as he understood they were unaware of how miraculous Chuck's current condition was. "Look, in all seriousness, you were in really bad shape, Bro. Ellie told me when she got into the ambulance with you, they were afraid you wouldn't make it to the hospital. That was yesterday. You're off oxygen after major lung surgery."
"If it's any consolation, I'm still leaking, it looks like," he said, eyeing the drain still taped to his side under his hospital gown. His smile faded when glancing out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sarah, visibly shaken at the news of how close she had come to losing her husband. He reached for her hand and pulled it beside him.
Devon walked to his bedside, flipping open his chart and scanning it quickly. "One to ten, how's the pain?" he asked.
"Three-no, four, maybe, three and a half?" Chuck said, his eyebrows crunching together in thought, looking toward Sarah as if she could help him answer the question. "It's all in the, the uh, hole in my side." He reached up his right hand, making a wide gesture with his open hand and splayed fingers that covered the left side of his chest and his shoulder. "This doesn't really hurt, although I can tell from your face that it's supposed to."
"Your last dose of pain meds was right after surgery," Devon said, raising one eyebrow in question. "You said only three? That's literally amazing. You know why they want to check your blood, don't you? They are looking for some rare blood markers-albumin, CRP, lipoprotein...you name it. Anything out of the ordinary they can use to get published. Research grants. You're looking like a gold mine right now, Chuck." Devon was too busy checking Chuck's records to see the look that had slowly appeared on Chuck's face, the incongruous mix of sadness and joy that left him with a crooked smile and tears in his eyes.
"What is it, Sweetie?" Sarah asked, immediately noticing his mood shift, turning her face to keep in eye contact with him even as he tried to look away.
He turned, searching for the words to explain, when his sister burst through his hospital room door. "Chuck!" she shouted, rushing towards him. Close behind her was her mother, a relieved smile on her face as well. Ellie ran to the left side of his bed, ready to dive for him, but stopping short at the sight of the drainage tube. Instead, she sat gingerly beside him, careful not to bump the tube. "I'm so glad you're alright," she gushed, reaching out her arms and wrapping them carefully around his neck.
What started as a gentle hug with a smile on her face quickly transformed to heavy weeping, full of pent up emotions and a rushing wave of relief. "Chuck," she said through her tears. "You...you…" Mary stepped forward, gently stroking the back of her daughter's hair.
"I know, El," he said softly, understanding what she was trying to say despite her inability to find the words, how she could ever express her gratitude for her brother's ready willingness to sacrifice himself for her. He held onto his sister, lovingly, until she stopped crying. Chuck met his mother's eyes over the top of his sister's head, seeing on his mother's face an odd mixture of consolation, tenderness, and yet something very dark that almost frightened him. Devon and Sarah both watched quietly, the warmth in the room like a soft blanket wrapped around them.
Ellie sucked in her breath, lifting her head, focusing intently on Chuck's face. Speaking so quickly the words all blended together, Ellie said, "Listen, Chuck. I had a theory and I went back to the original research files and I was right. The Intersect-"
"Sped up the healing process, I know," he told her.
"What, Chuck?" Sarah said, surprised that he hadn't said anything, unsure of how he was so certain.
"Whoa," Devon exclaimed. "That's gonna be hard to explain," he added, as he continued to flip through the chart in his hand. "That might complicate things from a research perspective, anyway," he added softly.
"Wait. How did you know?" Ellie asked Chuck, confusion clouding her features. She glanced at her husband briefly. "I'm the Bartowski Rubik's Cube record holder," she teased with a soft smile, tenderness in her eyes as she watched Chuck struggle with something that made his smile hesitant.
Reminded of all of it now, Chuck felt it again, testing it, like a tongue reaching for a hole where a tooth had been removed. It was a soft whisper, like a thought or suggestion, floating in his subconscious. Now that he knew how to seek it out, what it felt like, he basked in the comfort of the sensation. The softest of smiles lit his face, even as his eyes misted. "It was in the key," he said, emotion roiling his voice.
Confused, but knowing he understood something, Ellie pressed on. "Chuck, I found another file. In Dad's portion of the key. It looked like...Dad's brain scan. Chuck? Is…?"
Chuck heard Sarah gasp over his shoulder, as she watched the tears as they streamed down Chuck's cheek, not understanding completely, but knowing something was affecting him. "Yes, Ellie," he said shakily.
Ellie choked, bringing both hands up to her face. "Oh my God," she breathed. She reached forward with one hand, hesitating, pulling it back and forth several times, eventually resting her hand on the top of his head, a symbolic gesture, understanding what it was she was trying to touch. "Chuck, what...what does that…"
"Chuck…" Sarah said, a thousand questions in one word, quietly overlapping her words with Ellie's.
"It's just a program," he started. "But when I was, you know, out, or whatever…" He swallowed hard over the lump in his throat that hurt more than any physical pain in his body. "Not a dream, you know, much more real...It was like I could talk to him."
"Oh, Chuck," Sarah whispered, in a flash of understanding, comprehending the bittersweet commingling of emotions she had seen.
Ellie breathed out a soft sigh, akin to a sob, as she saw his face. "It's Dad's Intersect file, made to interact with the Intersect file that you have," Ellie told him, bringing her hand down from his head, brushing his cheek, and eventually resting her hand on his shoulder. Chuck could feel his wife, her blue eyes shining with compassion, studying him in earnestness.
"Sarah," he said, turning to look at her. "There's something else, too," he said slowly. First he reached for her hand and pulled it up, positioning her palm to stay in place. He lifted his wrist, and pulled the watch down over his hand, dropping it ceremoniously into Sarah's outstretched hand. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes tight. Soon his face relaxed, no trace of discomfort or strain visible.
Sarah tilted her head, her eyes full of questions. He smiled, realizing he could at last believe without question what he already knew to be true, factual evidence to corroborate his faith. "I know you were worried about the Intersect, about the damage that you thought it could do to me someday. Or if something ever happened to the watch, since my Dad…" He stopped, never quite able to speak freely about his father's death. "But you don't have to worry anymore. My Dad built it into the key."
"I'd almost forgotten," Mary said quietly. All eyes in the room turned to her. "I didn't know you still had it, Chuck. The Intersect. Not until all of this started. Your father was trying to figure out a way to help Hartley. He thought...well, you know what he thought."
Chuck's face crumpled, only for a second, as the emotion broke through, before he blinked very hard and opened his eyes wide, like he was resetting his face. Sarah reached and rested her hand on the back of his neck, twisting her fingers through his hair.
Mary stood up taller, crossing her hands across her chest. "Your father would be so relieved-" She stopped, clearing her throat as it hitched on the last word. "That it ended up where it belonged."
Sarah leaned in, kissed his cheek. Mary smiled, then said to them tightly, "Now that I know you're ok, I have an...errand I need to run. I should be back by late tomorrow." She leaned over Ellie's shoulder to kiss Chuck on the cheek. "Chuck, Corrine, Vivian and Hartley are waiting too. I know it might be a little awkward and all, but, the last transfusion you got-that was Vivian's blood. They just want to know that you are ok." She rested her hand on his shoulder, then turned to leave.
"Mom, where are you going?" Chuck called after her, absorbing the information that his mother had just told him.
Mary turned back to him, the light of a thousand suns burning in her eyes like a supernova. "Someone I'd like to say goodbye to before he goes away for a long time."
Softly, to Chuck and Sarah, Ellie whispered, "Beckman got Meriwether. With a little help from your friends."
July 15, 2012
Oak Park, Illinois
Casey clicked off the phone as he saw Gertrude approaching him on the front step of Ellie's house. She looked at him, waiting for the explanation she knew was coming. "That was Grimes. Chuck is ok. He's awake and talking."
He tried to sound stiff, business-like, but there was too much solace in his voice to disguise from Gertrude. She put a hand on his chest, briefly, before pulling it away. "I'm glad," she said tersely, with a quick smile.
He blew out his breath slowly. "I wasn't sure the kid was gonna make it," he said, looking away. "That was...ah...pretty bad." He looked back up at her, all of his emotion not quite tucked away like he usually did. Her smile in reply was longer, and warmer.
"This place is good to go. But one of my cleaners found this," she said, pulling a small USB drive out of her pocket and handing it to him. "It came off Poshenko's body when they were removing it."
Casey took it from her, grumbling softly. "This is the original Intersect file," he said, as close to amazement as Casey could get. "Corrine said she lost it, in the helicopter." He tossed it up slightly, catching it in his hand again.
"He's dead. No more Intersects, right?" she asked.
"From what Corrine said, both Hartley and Grimes need this to remove the remnants of the defective versions they both have," he told her. He knew, also, it was the only hope Chuck had of ever removing the Intersect he had, especially considering he was only a few months away from being a father, ready to leave the world of espionage behind, probably forever.
"Well, then, it sounds like you need to get this to Chuck," she told him. "Bentley's already on her way back to Washington. Beckman called her about two hours ago."
"Are you heading back?" he asked, not looking at her as he spoke. "I think I speak for all of us when I say thank you. For staying and helping. This could have gone much much worse without you here."
"Do you want me to head back?" she asked suggestively.
He growled, half of his mouth turned up on one side. "I want you to do what you want to do," he said gruffly.
"Look, John, you don't play games, and neither do I. I loved being with you all these months. But I know it was hard for you to be away from Alex. And even Chuck. Don't worry, I won't tell him that," she added quickly.
He undid the flap on his pocket to slide the drive inside, looking for something to do with his hands, a tell for her that he was dealing internally with something emotional. Gertrude watched as he crossed his index finger over his middle finger as his hand came to rest. "Nothing like that ever bothered me before. I was a soldier. You know that," he said gruffly.
She examined his face, remembering how he had been when she'd first met him, certain his past assessment of himself had been accurate. But he wasn't the same, not anymore. He, however, may have been the hardest to convince of that. "I do know that. But it's ok, you know, to want something else. Something more. Maybe Bartowski did affect you, even make you soft," she said, the last three words spoken roughly beneath her breath as a means to mock him. "But is that so bad? Being made of stone all the way through to the center-there's no balance there. Balance is everything."
She had told Sarah Bartowski pretty much the same thing, when they were in Florida. Falling for John was strange and new, intoxicating in a way she understood only someone like Sarah would know. What she hadn't told Sarah was how she had thought about possibilities she never had before, after seeing the Bartowskis in action.
Casey grunted. "Bartowski hasn't been talking to you too, has he?"
She laughed. "No, he hasn't. But if that's something that sounds like he would say, then he's smarter than I gave him credit for. Because it's true."
Casey looked at her, his face set like a mask, but an intensity in his blue eyes that she knew well. "I have been away a long time," he said. "And I do miss her. She's an adult, but I missed her whole life, you know."
She smiled at the gentleness she saw such a brief glimpse of. "You know, since I'm the boss, I can really come and go as I please. California would be beautiful again, after six months in Dresden. Don't you think? That is, if you don't mind me being close by."
She knew he didn't mind, based on the quick smile he flashed before he turned to walk back inside the house. She breathed a sigh of relief and followed him.
July 15, 2012
Chicago, Illinois
Chuck woke after resting again, still in the hospital, but feeling almost completely better. The drainage tube had been removed, giving him a wider range of motion, and the ability to roll over onto his side. His left side was sore and stiff, but once he shifted his weight appropriately, not bothersome enough that it kept him awake.
Chuck had already spoken to Sarah, as she had called him the minute she had woken up in the guest room in his sister's house. She had actually slept, almost nine full hours, she had told him, a fact he was grateful to know, constantly worrying about the strain the last few days had put on her health, and subsequently, the health of their unborn baby. Chuck had also already argued with his doctor, who had informed him he would probably be in the hospital for at least another few days, although, no longer in the Intensive Care Unit. He had understood their caution, not really able to explain how he had bounced back so quickly from such a life-threatening ordeal. But, he had begun to worry about the logistics of life going forward from here.
Sarah couldn't fly in an airplane, due in just over two months. What little she had taken with her from California was in St. Louis in her apartment. They had almost nothing in terms of supplies, furniture, any of the things new parents would need once they were back in California. Ellie had already mentioned throwing Sarah a baby shower, but Ellie was still here in Chicago until she could sell her house.
Even as his head had begun to spin, he found he had the ability to laugh to himself just the same. When was the last time he was actually worried about something normal like this? So long ago he couldn't pinpoint a day.
He heard the gentle knock on the door, and called to whoever it was to come in. He sat up straight when he saw Corrine MacArthur walking into his room. "Hello, Charles. They told me you were awake. I didn't want to disturb your rest," she said, folding her hands behind her back as she spoke.
"It's so good to see you. I'm glad you're alright. I'm sorry if you thought we gave up on you in Berlin. We were tracking you both, the entire time. I just didn't have time to get to my sister if we didn't-"
"No need to apologize, Charles. I think I know you well enough to know you wouldn't have done what you did unless you didn't have a choice. I'm just very glad everything worked out in the end. That you and your family are alright," she told him with a smile.
"Yours too, I hope," he said quietly, a soft smile on his face.
She blinked rapidly as tears started filling her eyes, turning away slightly. "It still doesn't feel real to me. I've been dreaming about seeing them again for what feels like forever." She laughed, a bittersweet smile on her face. "You'd think after 30 years apart things would be awkward or whatever. But other than the fact that we look older, it's like no time has passed at all. I have to get to know my daughter, of course. But I have my husband back. Thank you for that, Charles. For everything you did. It was a lot."
"Corrine, did my mother tell you the truth? What we discovered about the Intersect?" Chuck asked her.
Her skin flushed, blotchy patches of red visible on her neck, indicating a well-contained anger. "She did. I believe she is on her way to Washington to intercept the bastard before he's put away forever. She wanted to tell him why he lost. A little going away present."
"He ruined both of our families, Corrine. He doesn't have enough years left in his life to pay what he owes for what he did to you and your husband, and my parents," Chuck said, a slow anger simmering under the surface. "And then still to my sister and me, and Vivian too."
"Not ruined, Charles," she swore, the flush on her face diffusing slightly. "He stole time away from all of us, which is the most valuable thing he could have taken. And your father is dead because of him. But nothing is ruined. Not anymore."
Chuck nodded his head in agreement with her, feeling the loss again like it was fresh, but reaching in his mind for the comfort of his father's presence, something he would have with him always. "Did you know about the file that my father made? The one he made for your husband?"
"What do you mean, file? I lost that drive, Charles, somewhere in the struggle with Poshenko on the helicopter," she said with disappointment.
"There was another file my father added to his portion of the master device that was broken up after the first file was created. He lost the other two pieces, so he made the file he sent to you in Moscow. But that device...that key...is how the Intersect I have was engineered. I didn't know anything was there until I almost died, but it's there," he told her.
She started laughing, and smiled at him. "Stephen always said his children were his greatest source of inspiration. I just never realized how literally he was speaking."
"I don't need the Intersect removed. But what about your husband and Morgan?" Chuck asked her.
"Your friend Casey knows what to look for. If it was on the scene there, he'll find it. Gertrude was in charge of that," she said with a smile.
He relaxed visibly, knowing if Casey was involved, there was nothing to worry about.
"Your wife is beautiful, Charles," Corrine told him.
"She is, isn't she?" he said wistfully, having only been away from her for less than a day and feeling like he missed her terribly.
"Your mother told me Sarah killed Poshenko," Corrine told him. "The next time you see her, thank her for me for that as well."
"She should be here soon. Maybe you could thank her yourself," he said with a crooked smile.
"My daughter makes your wife very uncomfortable, Charles. Vivian understands, and she doesn't want to upset Sarah. We'll stay away, I promise. Hartley and Vivian are in danger of being identified. I just wanted to see you before we slipped away. To thank you for everything you've done, in the past and currently. You're quite extraordinary, Charles. You accomplished in four days what I'd been trying to do for 30 years."
There was another knock on the door, and Chuck called out to enter. Corrine turned to greet her husband and daughter. Hartley smiled, both at his wife, and at Chuck as he sat up against the pillows. "Good to see you, Charles," he said gently. "Thank goodness you're alright."
Chuck smiled, then addressed the young woman. "Thank you, Vivian. My mother told me you donated blood for me," Chuck told her with a gentle smile.
"It was the least I could do, and my pleasure, Charles," she said with a soft smile. "You saved my life, more times than I can count. And I don't just mean protecting me from Boris or the others. Having my parents back is just as important."
Vivian and her mother moved to the door, but Hartley lingered in the room. "Go on, I'll be right out, Darling," he said to his daughter, as she shut the door behind her.
Chuck was the one who started the conversation. "Hartley, I never got the chance to thank you. For your wedding gift," he stressed the words, knowing 877 million dollars needed more than a casual thank you. "We tried to use it the way you intended us to."
"Mary told me everything, Charles. I'm just glad everything worked out for you in the end. You know, I didn't remember Sarah at all, uh, after all that. I'll tell you, Charles, all I had to do was look at her, and I know how much she loves you. That's a gift. Money's only money," he scoffed, smiling gently.
"I know," he said softly.
Hartley turned to Chuck, continuing to smile, but his eyes now red as he fought tears. "You helped bring down the bastard that corrupted your father's work and made him think for all those years that he was responsible for what happened to me. I never blamed your father, even when he thought he was at fault. I just wanted you to know that. Your father was a good man, a good friend. I'm glad Meriwether is getting his due, but, Charles, even if your father had known the truth back then, he would have still done what he did, to try and help me, you know. That's just the kind of man he was."
Choked up, Chuck could only nod.
"He would be so proud of you, Charles. The best way to honor him is to be the father he never had the chance to be to you and your sister. That's what I think he would have wanted the most," Hartley said, stepping forward, reaching out his hand to Chuck.
"Good luck," Chuck said to him as he pulled his hand away.
"Who needs luck?" Hartley said, smiling, and quietly left Chuck alone in his hospital room.
XXX
At least she was rested, Sarah thought, as she found her head spinning as Ellie rambled on and on as they walked side by side into the hospital. It had started in the house before they left, while Ellie was still feeding Clara breakfast and giving Alex instructions. Ellie's house finally back in one piece, she had called a real estate agent and left a message while Sarah drank her coffee. Before they had left her house, Ellie had vehicles rented to retrieve Sarah's things in St. Louis, as well as take everything back to Los Angeles. The entire ride to the hospital and the walk from the parking garage inside the building was one long list of baby registry items, as well as the pros and cons of each item.
Sarah had started listening, having acknowledged that she was extremely far behind, actually completely unprepared, when it came to planning for her baby's arrival. She had found out later than most would have, then spent over four months in basic denial, afraid to tell Chuck anything. Shopping for or buying anything for the baby would somehow have made it real, and worse because he couldn't share it with her. But soon, she was overwhelmed, close to panicking, when she realized how much she had never even thought of.
"We can register, you know, before you go back to L.A., and then I can plan everything from here so when Devon and I get back, we'll be ready to go…." Ellie stopped talking as she saw Sarah pause, face to face in the hallway with Hartley, Corrine, and Vivian.
"Sarah," Corrine started, taking the initiative to break the ice that seemed to have chilled the room by several degrees. "Hello, Eleanor," Corrine addressed Sarah's companion, reflexively, like she had when she had spoken to Ellie as a young toddler shyly hiding her face in her mother's hair. "We were on our way out. We just wanted to wish your husband well," she added, looping her arm through her husband's.
"Um, Mr. Winterbottom," Sarah started awkwardly.
"Hartley is fine, Sarah, please," he said cordially. Sarah watched as Vivian almost shrank to hide behind her father. "I'm so glad that you're feeling better, after, well, everything that Mary mentioned. And the last time I must have talked to you, I, uh, well, I don't remember. But I'm sure I wasn't very kind."
"Chuck explained everything, you know, after we got married. Thank you, by the way," Sarah added, folding her hands together and bending them forward. "That was a shock, a very nice shock, that you left us all that money."
With a warm smile that still seemed out of place on his face, compared to her memory of him as Volkoff, cold and warped, Hartley told her, "As I know you know, Sarah, what I have now I wouldn't trade for all that. Everything I have I owe to Charles. I couldn't leave without telling him that."
Ellie stood quietly, watching the exchange. After a brief moment of eye contact with Sarah, she said quietly, "I'm going to check on Chuck. I'll see you in his room." Nodding to everyone, she said, "Nice to see you all again."
Once Ellie had walked away, Corrine addressed Sarah again. "The man you killed in your sister's house was responsible for most of the difficulties concerning the Intersect your husband explained to me when he found us in Romania. And the reason why I had to appear dead for the past 30 years."
The spy in Sarah knew what Corrine was talking about, but it was the wife who replied to her. "He shot and almost killed my husband, because he was trying to kill my sister-in-law," she said evenly. Corrine saw it on Sarah's face, the fierce and intense need to protect what she loved, something rare and unexpected on the face of a spy, but something she understood more than anyone could know.
"Vivian," Sarah called. "I, uh, I wanted to apologize, you know, for how I acted yesterday," she said meekly.
"You don't owe me an apology, Sarah. You were right. I tried to kill Charles, and you too, before. I understand perfectly why you would feel that way," Vivian said, walking to stand in front of her father.
"But I know what you did, everything you did to help us. Ellie told me how you stayed in the house, while I was having the Intersect removed. You defended Ellie and me against Meriwether's men. Chuck almost died, and your blood helped save him. Chuck means everything to me, Vivian. He forgave you. That's Chuck. That's just one reason why he's so special." Sarah's smile was warm and genuine. "Thank you, for helping to save his life."
Vivian's eyes misted. "I didn't know how close you two were to becoming parents when Mary contacted us. It was asking a great deal, but Charles never hesitated. I know what I owe him can't be repaid. All I can do is live better than I had been. Now it's possible. Thank you, Sarah." Vivian reached out for Sarah's hand, and was instead hugged gently around the neck as Sarah pulled her close.
The smile on Sarah's face as she released Vivian was the last thing Ellie saw, a distant blip at the end of a long corridor, before she turned the corner on her way to her brother's room.
July 15, 2012
Washington D.C.
"They're moving him later tonight," Beckman told Mary Bartowski as they walked through a particularly dark and deserted area of the government base. "I made them wait for your flight," she offered.
"Thank you, General," Mary said quietly. She appeared calm and collected, still like the surface of a vast, deep lake. Only, Beckman understood she was standing in the eye of the storm that was Frost.
"I was relieved to hear Chuck is alright, Mary. That was a close call," Beckman said as they walked.
"Too close, for someone about to have a baby," she added, remorse shifting her eyes toward the floor.
"He was the only one who could have done that mission, and succeeded, especially in the time allotted. I know you've had your reservations, but I've known your son professionally for five years. He's even better than they say. I understand why he quit, why they quit, but it was a loss to the country," Beckman said, her respect for Chuck clearly evident.
"Would you have expected any less, once you knew who he really was?" Mary asked, a wry smile on her face.
"I should have known better," Beckman laughed in return.
She stopped her forward progression, scanning her badge at a lock pad embedded in the wall next to a set of doors. Mary heard the lock clunk as it disengaged, then a clanking metallic drag as the door shifted open. Beckman stood back, letting Mary pass.
There was a guard on either side of the glass-doored cell. The artificial light overhead made her skin appear sallow and the walls look actinic. Mary's shoes clacked on the floor, and she heard the echoes reverberate endlessly in the stark stillness. She stopped walking as she saw him, seated inside his cell, turned so he faced the wall. He wore only a black jumpsuit, the contrast to the alabaster of his skin making him appear older than she had ever seen him. Or maybe, she thought, without the adornments of his uniform, he at last appeared as he was, a defeated old man.
She said nothing, waiting for him to sense her standing there staring at him. His eyes shifted first, followed by the slow turn of his head. Mary lifted her chin ever so slightly as he saw her. She jabbed the button on the side of the door to open the communication link. "I have nothing to say to you, Frost," he growled the moment the static cleared as the connection was established.
"Good," she hissed. "Because the sound of your voice right now is enough to put me over the edge."
"Really? Such a cliche, Mary. The avenging angel?" he taunted.
"A bullet to your head from me would be mercy. And you aren't owed any," she said fiercely.
She felt the wrath, burning like acid in her veins, reaching down deep for the control she had honed to perfection over the years for her profession. Her cover, Frost, served as a mental picture. She pulled forth the inner blizzard she had mastered. The fire inside smothered with snow, she regarded him, the cold detachment worse in that moment than the blazing hatred and anger.
"I was young when you sent me to England. You knew I would never question your orders. And I was inexperienced back then too. It would never have occurred to me then that you would have ulterior motives. Although, it didn't take that long to be jaded by the life that I was living. You were counting on that, I know," she said, a dry but humorless laugh hushing behind her clenched teeth.
"What you weren't counting on was Stephen. Orion," she said his code name with irony. "You never imagined Stephen would ever become Orion, did you? You read his file. On paper, he certainly was what you thought he was. Intelligent, scattered maybe, socially inept and shy. Brilliant to the point of arrogance, which I won't deny. He certainly could be. But what doesn't show on paper-his loyalty, his devotion, his passion and his capacity to love-those things don't matter, right? Not important at all, so long as they were a means to secure an asset. And once you had that, you thought you'd won, didn't you?"
His eyes narrowed to thin slits and his mouth puckered in an angry line.
"I was your obedient operative, cold as ice, doing my job without a thought for anything other than the ultimate goal. You must have thought it was safe to send me, get the job done and get out. That's what I'd always done for you before. But befriending Corrine MacArthur, falling in love with Stephen," she stressed, the ice in her voice not betraying the warmth she felt suddenly inside, when she spoke of him, "ruined everything for you, didn't it?"
"Very unprofessional of you, wasn't it, Frost?" Meriwether needled her.
She blew out her breath in a sharp hiss. "Maybe. But it created Orion, didn't it? Your worst nightmare. Simply because he loved me. A frozen icicle like me. Orion the Hunter. Every time you thought you'd gotten the better of him, he surprised you again. And again. Until you became the hunted. Poor intel, Meriwether. Very bad analysis, don't you think?"
"Too bad he's dead, hmm?" he spit back at her.
She felt it flare ever so slightly, black fire, until she reigned it in, quicker than his ability to process. "Shaw killed him. But even from the grave, he managed to bring you down, didn't he?" she said, stepping forward menacingly.
Meriwether's expression never changed, but she saw the slightest hint of a question in his eyes at her words. "That scheme to take over the DNI. I know you'd thought you'd won then. Shaw never told you how they got away, did he?" Her eyes bored through him as she stepped forward again. "My daughter. That was how. My daughter, a civilian. Who just promised her father she would protect her brother. That's what did Shaw in. My children's love for each other, and their father's love for them. And now your undoing-it was my children again. Because they loved their father. Think about that, while you're rotting away in the ground. So cliche, Arthur. But it's the truth. Cliches usually are, you know."
Mary heard the footfalls on the ground, sensing Beckman at her side, but never turning her eyes away from Meriwether. "You made a lot of mistakes, Meriwether," Beckman said as she stood at Mary's shoulder, listening to the sound of Mary breathing, louder than it should have been, but understandable, given the blast of rage she was holding at bay. "Coming after my people was your biggest mistake. You had Charles Bartowski dragged out of that hearing like he was a lunatic, when he was the only reason at that time you still had your position. Think about that, for a long time. Which you know you will have plenty of. You gave Stephen that code name, didn't you? Orion. The hunter. Ironic, isn't it?" Beckman said bitterly, slamming the communication link off with an open palm. As the sound cut out, the last thing Beckman heard was the crescendo of an angry growl, followed by a jarring thud as he punched the glass door from the inside.
After the minute burst of anger, Beckman was cool again. She stretched out her hand, allowing Mary to leave ahead of her, a wicked smile on her face that she turned back to show Meriwether one last time. "Your family is waiting for you, Mary," Beckman added, the smile never disappearing, but only now lighting the rest of her face.