Author's Note:
Big thanks to Dyna-Man 21 for an idea mentioned in this chapter that will be written later. Plus for explaining something.
And another thanks to BluePhantasm for an idea used in this chapter.
Cover Art: Cruz7808
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Chapter 26- Training Daze
"Training Daze" appeared on screen with the theme.
"I can't imagine their training going well." Weiss commented.
The episode opens to a first person view from Smith of his helmet cam turning on.
Jensen: "Eureka!"
Palomo: "Is it working? (yells) Hello! Can you hear me?!"
Bitters: "Yes! Jesus! What's the point of this again?"
"It looks like they set up a camera." Yang commented.
"It's cool seeing them in first person again." Jaune commented.
"We've seen it before?" Weiss asked.
"Yeah, whenever they zoom in on their rifles and stuff." Ruby explained.
Cut to Tucker.
Tucker: "This is going to make you all better fighters. Tell 'em Simmons."
Simmons: "Jensen and I have installed capture software into all of our helmets, allowing us to transmit what we saw on the battlefield to a local server."
Palomo: "Wait. Do they only record on the battlefield, or are they recording all the time?"
Simmons: "All the time, duh."
"That's going to be awkward." Yang realized.
Palomo: "Uhh, I don't know how I feel about that."
Tucker: "Dude, it's fine."
Palomo: "But what if it records me doing something embarrassing? Like, looking at Jensen's butt or something."
"So why not just say it out loud for everyone to hear?" Weiss grimaced.
Jensen: "Excuse me!?"
Simmons: "Just don't look at Jensen's butt, Palomo."
"Yay go Simmons." Yang smiled.
Palomo: "Well now I'm way more aware of her butt than usual and it's throwing me off."
Weiss groaned, "I hate that it's Neptune's voice."
"At least I can sympathize with Jensen here." Yang smiled warily.
Tucker: "Palomo!"
Palomo: "You know what? I'm just going to look at the ceiling."
"Wow, Tucker told Palomo off instead of joining him." Weiss's eyes widened.
"Either that's a testament to how much he has grown, or how much he hates Palomo." Blake chuckled.
Bitters: "I still don't see how this is supposed to make us any better."
Tucker: "It's like this: sometimes you're with a lady, right? And she wants to spice things up. So, you're like 'boom' - video camera. And she's into it and then you're like 'ahh yeah', but what's even better is that later you can go back and look at those tapes and figure out what was really working and what you can do better."
"Tucker is still the pig he's always been but he has still grown a little more respectful." Weiss smiled.
"His actions speak louder than words here." Jaune nodded.
Smith: "So, it's like football coaches reviewing clips of past games?"
Tucker: "...Sure, I mean if you're into football coaches and that works better for you, I guess. No judgments."
"As if what he said was normal and Smith is weird." Weiss scoffed.
"I think he misunderstood Smith." Blake chuckled.
Grif: "All right, we're good to go."
Simmons: "You set up the training weapons?"
Grif: "I told someone else to set up the training weapons."
Simmons: "You'd make a great manager."
Grif: "I've said it for years."
"Grif said this in season 9, because he can tell people to do stuff and they just do it." Jaune recalled.
Simmons: "Sorry, I meant terrible. You make a terrible manager."
Grif: "Whatever. You say tomato, I order a subordinate to say to-mah-to."
"That's an interesting way of looking at it." Pyrrha shook her head.
"Weiss! Say to-mah-to." Ruby ordered.
"We are teammates, I am not your subordinate." Weiss narrowed her eyes on Ruby.
Tucker: "Okay, so our mission today will be to disarm and apprehend an enemy soldier."
Smith: "Take out one guy? That's do-able."
Cut to Felix from afar, sharpening his knife.
Tucker: "The soldier is Felix."
Felix: "Uh, what?"
"That sounds like fun!" Nora gasped.
"And it's good practice, I assume Felix and Locus are on similar skill levels." Pyrrha commented.
"If that's true, this won't end well for them." Weiss frowned.
"Yeah Felix is awesome." Jaune grinned. "But Tucker might think of something good."
Tucker: "If we can take out the best fighter in the New Republic, I'd say we stand a pretty good chance against any of those Feds."
Felix approaches Tucker.
Felix: "Yeah, I don't agree to this."
Tucker: "You don't have to. Just do what you normally do, but know that you'll have a giant bullseye painted across your back."
"That'd be weird, because how can you act normal?" Jaune asked.
"Well it's a game.. and I doubt Felix will feel threatened." Blake chuckled.
Felix: "Alright, fine. Bring it on, tough guy."
Tucker: "I will. And when we capture you, you're gonna tell Kimball that we're approved for the mission."
Felix: "Fine!"
Tucker: "Good!"
Felix: "Great!"
"They're like an old married couple." Yang laughed.
There is a pause
Tucker: "So... are you just going to stand there, or what?"
Felix: "No, I was sticking my tongue out at you! But, I-I guess, I'm wearing a helmet. So...shut up."
Felix walks away.
Ruby giggled, "I wish we knew what his face looked like." Sticking your tongue out at someone is the best insult!
Tucker: "We got this."
Cut to the interior of a building. The Reds, Blues, and recruits are seen inside, along with two Republic soldiers. A large television screen is seen behind the two rebels.
McCallister: "Thanks for joining us everyone. Private Ghanoush and I were given the task of editing down all of the footage from your training session."
Ghanoush: "We took what we believed to be the more... 'eye-opening' moments from today's events, in hopes that they might help you strategize in the future."
"Sun sounds so formal." Blake's eyes widened.
"That's Sun? Woah I've never heard him sound so formal." Ruby chuckled.
"Ghanoush." Yang laughed, "He'd like that name."
"Now we have both dorks." Blake realized.
Simmons: "Like a highlight reel?"
McCallister: "Like a reel."
Ghanoush: "Why don't we get started?"
A video of the group's training session begins on the screen. Smith and Bitters are seen loading up their weapons through Palomo's helmet camera.
Palomo: "Hey guys! Welcome to my helmet cam! Uh... today, we're gonna be trying to take down Felix. Soooo, let's see how it goes. Could be bad. Could be good. Could be in the middle."
"Ugh he's like all those terrible personalities on the CCTv-net mixed together." Yang groaned.
"With their blaring dub-step intros." Jaune added.
"I even like dub-step and it's annoying." Yang admitted.
"Most of their intro talks are even longer than the video." Ruby finished.
"If it annoys you so much, why do you watch their videos?" Blake asked.
"Clickbait." All three said at once.
Smith: "Who are you talking to?"
Palomo: "Uh, the audience."
Cut to Bitters's helmet cam.
Bitters: "What audience? We're recording this for ourselves. You're the audience!"
Cut to Palomo's helmet cam. Caboose is seen in the background staring at a tank.
"Bitters is making a good point." Yang leaned forward. "But look at Caboose."
Pyrrha began to laugh, "This training won't go well."
"I think we all know that." Blake smiled.
"Hey, it might go well." Ruby crossed her arms. "Tucker's clever."
"Yeah." Jaune nodded.
Palomo: "Oh yeah. Hi me! (Cut to Palomo in the present time) Hi Palomo!"
Tucker: "Can we skip this part?"
McCallister: "Sure! (quietly) Not like we worked hard on this or anything."
Tucker: "Huh?"
McCallister: "Huh?!"
Yang laughed, "I like these guys."
"I want to hear more of Sun's character." Blake added.
Cut to the video footage, through Tucker's helmet cam. Felix is seen walking up to two rebels. The Reds, Blues, and recruits are seen crouched down behind several rocks. The camera cuts back and forth from the soldiers' helmet cams.
Tucker: "Okay, Felix is right over there."
Grif: "Bitters, hand me a flashbang."
Bitters: "Ohhh right, um... about that."
"Should have picked Mathews." Weiss sighed.
Cut to Felix walking away.
Tucker: "(voice only) Hurry up, he's getting away!"
Bitters: "I don't have any."
Grif: "I told you to grab them!"
Bitters: "Yeah, I wasn't really listening."
Grif: "What?!"
"Bitters is like Grif forgetting the ammo." Jaune commented.
Simmons: "World's. Worst. Manager."
"Because there's more to it than just telling people what to do." Ruby crossed her arms and grinned.
Grif: "Let's not argue semantics Simmons!"
Bitters: "That's not what that word means."
Tucker: "Does anybody have a fucking grenade?!"
Smith: "I gave mine to Caboose."
Pyrrha and Ruby burst out laughing.
Tucker: "You what?!"
Caboose tosses a frag grenade right in front of himself.
Caboose: "Fire in the hole."
Ruby and Pyrrha fell into more hysterics with Jaune, Nora, and Yang joining them in guffawing while Blake, Weiss, and Ren lightly chuckled.
The grenade explodes, causing static to emerge from the soldiers' helmet cams.
All: "(yelling indistinctly)"
Cut back to the present time. Ganoosh and the Green Republic Soldier laugh at the footage.
McCallister: "(laughing) Fucking idiot."
"People keep putting walls in front of Caboose." Yang wiped her eyes.
"That's the third worst throw ever, of all time." Blake chuckled.
"This is a highlight reel." Yang added.
Ghanoush: "(laughing) I could watch this for hours!"
"So can we." Ruby grinned.
"And we do." Jaune added.
Grif: "Jesus Christ, how long is this video?!"
Ghanoush: "Hours! I just fucking said it! Pay attention!"
"Sun really came through there." Yang laughed.
"Yeah it's weird because Sun doesn't really get angry like that." Ruby frowned.
"He does shout a lot though." Blake shrugged.
Simmons: "Does it get any better?"
McCallister: "Define 'better'?"
Tucker: "Ugh, come on, let's go."
Tucker walks away.
Grif: "Go where?"
Tucker stops.
Tucker: "To try this again."
Tucker leaves the room.
"Very driven." Pyrrha smiled.
Jaune nodded
Ghanoush: "This is gonna be good."
McCallister: "I'll make some popcorn."
"Good idea." Ruby gasped, "I want popcorn."
Cut to the Reds, Blues, and recruits running across a hill. Caboose sprints ahead of everyone while Grif lags behind.
Grif: "(exhausted) Oh god!"
Grif falls down.
Palomo: "Feelin the burn."
"Woah Caboose is fast." Ruby grinned.
"Caboose is the most physically fit among them, but he's followed by Tucker who went through rigorous training because of Wash." Pyrrha commented.
"I kind of want to have a race now." Ruby hummed.
"No, you'd win and you know it." Jaune shook his head.
"Not if it's an endurance race." Yang smirked.
"You wouldn't win either! Pyrrha would." Ruby pointed.
"..Well you never know." Pyrrha said, trying to be modest.
Cut to Felix talking to the Rebel Medic.
Felix: "What if I am too good looking? I mean i-it's possible-it's a scientific-"
Tucker is heard yelling and charges up behind Felix, but the latter activates his hardlight shield and knocks Tucker down.
Tucker: "AAAAAAGGGHHHHH! (is knocked down; coughs) Oooh! (weakly) No... fair…"
Jaune grimaced, remembering when he was that cocky. "Oh man."
"You were never that bad." Weiss whispered, upon seeing his face. She saw his ashamed look and could sympathize, having been big headed once herself.
Jaune chuckled, "Thanks."
"Felix is really full of himself." Blake raised her eyebrows.
"Meh, it's part of his charm." Yang shrugged.
Cut to Simmons spying on Felix from atop a hill. He turns to Smith, Palomo, and Grif.
Simmons: "He's holding a training gun, right?"
Smith stands up to see, but is shot at.
Smith: "AHH! (weakly) Yes sir."
Palomo: "Well that's good to know."
The group chuckled.
"I half expected him to continue carrying his real gun." Blake commented. "To scare them."
"I don't think he needs a real gun to scare them." Jaune pointed out.
Cut to McCallister and Ghanoush laughing at the footage.
Ghanoush: "(laughs) What a dope!"
Caboose: "(dry laughter) Yeah, I don't get it."
Tucker: "Grrrr."
"They're watching Red vs Blue just like us." Nora giggled.
Cut to the camera panning across the group doing push-ups. Grif and Bitters are seen at the end relaxing while counting off.
Tucker: "Thirty-three. Thirty-four. Thirty-five…"
Palomo: "Thirty-three. Thirty-four. Thirty-five…"
Caboose: "Thirty-three. Thirty-three. Thirty-three…"
Smith: "Thirty-five. Thirty-six. Thirty-seven…"
Simmons: "(struggling) Thirty-seven. Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine…"
Jensen: "Thirty-six. Thirty-seven. Thirty-eight…"
Grif: "(lazily) Thirty-six. Thirty-seven. Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine."
Bitters: "(lazily) Thirty-six. Thirty-seven. Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine."
"Caboose's only problem is with counting the amount he's done." Pyrrha sighed.
"I wonder if Tucker can do more than 68 push ups." Yang pondered.
"Probably now he can." Jaune guessed.
"Why are Grif and Bitters even bothering with counting? That seems like too much effort for them." Weiss scoffed.
"Push ups suck." Ruby groaned.
Cut to Felix walking alone. Tucker jumps up from behind a pile of crates and falls over a cliff.
Tucker: "Surprise motherfucker! (Overshoots)AH HAAAAAA! (splashes into a lake)"
Felix continues walking.
"Don't yell surprise when doing a surprise attack." Blake facepalmed. "This competition feels like a younger brother trying to mess with an older brother."
"Were you two ever like this?" Weiss asked. "Me and my sister never were, we had a more respectful relationship."
Ruby and Yang shook their heads.
Yang looked up. "No, I messed with Ruby sometimes and she'd try to mess with me a little. But for us our uncle was Felix, not me. Every time we tried to prank him he'd turn around and counter us."
Ruby giggled, "Except sometimes he'd prank himself. He's clumsy."
"He gets really mad when he's clumsy though, I don't get why. It's just some bad luck." Yang shrugged. "But almost every time we tried to prank him, it backfired."
"I know what you mean, my little sisters would always try to mess with my big sisters and it never worked for them." Jaune laughed. "Never worked for me either." He frowned.
Cut to Jensen, who spots Felix nearby on her helmet cam.
Jensen: "Target sighted. Headed towards- (sneezes harshly all over her visor, covering it in snot) AHH-CHOOO! Uh... anyone else have eyes on the target?"
Yang groaned, "It's rigged. It's all rigged." Yang pointed at Pyrrha. "You get to voice a badass freelancer. Ms. Goodwitch got to voice an even more badass freelancer." Yang pointed at Nora. "Even you got to voice a freelancer! Then Ruby get's the voice of an awesome rebel leader. Ladykiller over here get's the voice Felix who is basically a freelancer. That chainsaw guy does too and- ugh I voice Jensen." Yang laughed full of mirth. "I think Jensen is a good character, but it's like the show gave me a middle finger. Eh I deserved it after begging to voice a badass for so long."
Rubh giggled, "I love hearing Jensen talk, but hey at least you got to voice female Donut in the gender bending episode."
Yang nodded "I voiced her but I didn't voice her in that one, I voiced her in the one where O'Malley was going into everyone's head. In the Get Bent episode she was voiced by some girl I beat up. Either her or her sister."
"…What?" Weiss asked.
Yang shook her head, "Nevermind, I'm just going to be happy with having a voice in the show."
Blake nodded, "You should, Ren and I don't have voices."
"Yet." Yang pointed out, "I'm sure you both will eventually."
Smith: "Negative."
Bitters: "Uh, no."
Palomo: "(staring directly at Jensen's butt) Yeah, I got nothin'."
"He's got his eyes on another target." Yang grimaced.
"A little rude for that to be included in the highlight reel." Weiss crossed her arms.
"What about Palomo?" Yang asked.
"Palomo being a rude pig is a given." Weiss waved her off.
"I would say it's fine if he glances or looks a little." Yang shrugged. "But he was staring, zooming in with his rifle and everything. There could have been a repeat of the Tex incident."
"When Tucker shot her in the butt." Nora giggled.
Cut back to the bunker where Ghanoush, McCallister, and several other rebels are seen laughing. Jensen turns to Palomo and he turns towards her. Palomo then turns away at the ceiling.
Palomo: "Lookin' at the ceiling!"
"At least me and Jensen have something else in common, we turn heads." Yang smirked.
"Sounds like you have something in common with Felix too." Weiss mumbeld, boasting.
Cut to Felix standing around idly. Tucker emerges behind him, holding a grenade in his hands.
Tucker: "(from afar) Hey Felix! Catch!"
Tucker unpins the grenade and tosses it at Felix. Felix, however, effortlessly catches it.
Felix: "One Mississippi. Two Mississippi-"
"Why do they say Mississippi while counting? Sarge said it when he was letting Lopez shoot Grif." Nora recalled. "It's a weird word."
"Maybe it takes a second to say it.. it's like a mantra or something." Jaune shrugged. "Like saying one-one thousand, two-one thousand you know?"
Tucker: "(frantic) Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooo!"
Tucker runs away.
Felix: "-Three Mississippi. Four Mississippi!"
Felix throws the grenade at Tucker and it explodes. Felix then clenches his fist.
"Tucker was going to use a live grenade on him!?" Weiss opened her mouth, aghast.
"To be fair, Felix used it right back." Yang laughed.
"Which is perfectly acceptable given the fact that he was sensible enough to use a training weapon while Tucker resorted to using a live grenade. Unbelievable." Weiss scoffed.
Cut to Simmons and Grif spying on Felix from inside a bunker. Simmons gestures multiple hand signals to Grif.
Grif: "At what point did you think I knew what that meant?!"
"Target's inside, sneak in, wave him down, bang bang bang, we win." Nora translated.
"..Only some of Simmons's hand signals were real." Weiss pointed out. "How did you translate that?"
Nora shrugged.
"I like the sassy snap he did." Yang laughed and repeated it.
Felix walks out of the room and spots Simmons and Grif.
Grif: "Ah shit."
Felix punches Grif in the face, causing his visor to become static. Cut back to the bunker where numerous Republic soldiers are seen laughing at the footage.
Nora burst out laughing, "These are painful to watch because I'm laughing too hard."
"Yeah that thing about sides hurting? It's true." Yang held her sides.
"These guys did some good editing." Jaune chuckled.
Smith: "(chuckles) Okay, that was actually kinda funny."
"They all like red vs blue too." Nora reiterated.
Tucker lowers his head in disappointment. The latter is then seen outside the bunker confronting Felix.
Tucker: "Hey!"
Felix: "You know, I have to admit, I've never seen these guys laugh so much before."
"It's good that the soldiers have something to laugh at." Ruby smiled.
"But it also has to be demoralizing. Seeing the people who were supposed to be their heroes fail at everything." Blake commented
Tucker: "Why are you being so hard on us?!"
Felix: "Come again?"
"No bow chicka bow wow?" Yang raised an eyebrow. "Felix is hard on them."
Tucker: "All we need is a green light from you, and Kimball let's us save our friends. So why the hell can't you just lighten up for once?!"
Felix: "Because you will die! (brief pause) You know, for people who've done so much, you really are just a bunch of idiots, aren't you?"
"He sounds disappointed." Blake commented.
"He's worried about them, he doesn't trust that they can save their friends." Jaune explained.
Tucker: "(angrily) That's what we said from the start!"
Felix: "(angrily) So then why are you trying to still be something you're not?!"
Kimball: "(angrily) FELIX!"
Ruby's eyes narrowed, "Yeah! What's wrong with him? They've done a lot, they can save the others."
Jaune looked down, everything Felix was saying to Tucker. He had told himself. "Felix is wrong." He looked up.
Felix: "(to Tucker; quietly) ...Whether you go or not is ultimately up to her. But risking the lives of more people... that's on you."
Tucker: "I thought you didn't care about losing people?"
Felix: "I don't. ...But you do."
Jaune sighed, "I like Felix but he's lying to Tucker. If he didn't care, he wouldn't care if Tucker went or not."
"He may not care about the lives of the various republic soldiers. But he might like the reds and blues." Blake guessed.
Felix leaves. Kimball approaches Tucker.
Kimball: "(to Tucker) ...We need to talk."
Tucker: "(sighs) Can it not be as depressing as the talk we're having right now?
"Grif said the same thing." Jaune recalled.
Kimball: "Well I can't make any promises."
The camera slowly pans away from Tucker and Kimball. Fade to black.
The episode ends.
"Well… after that episode I have only one thing to say. I want to try to capture Felix." Nora grinned.
"We don't have a Felix to capture." Jaune pointed out.
"But we do have a Pyrrha!" Nora flourished, gesturing to Pyrrha.
"Um, I'm sorry?" Pyrrha raised an eyebrow in confusion.
-Sunny Disposition SS- Not Canon
"Ha-ha! Ghanoush!" Neptune pointed.
"Palomo." Sun simply stated back.
"Good point." Neptune nodded. "I don't like Palomo, he's not much of a gentleman."
"And you are?" Coco asked.
Yatsuhashi and Velvet chuckled.
"I am as a matter of fact." Neptune grinned proudly.
Sun rolled his eyes, "Remember Blake's friend?"
Neptune blushed, "Hey I didn't know."
"Dude it was obvious!" Sun laughed.
"Not at first." Neptune huffed. "Ghanoush sounds weird."
"That hurts Nep, that really hurts." Sun shook his head.
"He does though." Scarlet nodded, "A lot angrier than you."
Sun shrugged, "Heh, still seems like a cool guy. I liked their highlight reel."