"You're saying that these monsters -"

"Pokemon." Professor Philena Ivy corrected with a saccharine drawl.

"Whatever!" Naruto Uzumaki retorted in exasperation. "People enslave them, put them in a ball, and force them to do incessant battles for the rest of their lives. What kind of sick, twisted sonuvabitch could come up with something like that?"

Philena shrugged. "You can consider it as a hobby."

"Oh yeah?" Naruto growled. "Well, it's a cunt's hobby."

"Language here, my dear." Philena stirred her cup of warm coffee with a spoon, her eyes fixated at the mystery that was Naruto. He came from the stars in a tacky outfit, demanding to save the world from a nut-job who was about to use the moon to keep everybody high as kite. As a scientist, Philena valued concrete proof above groundless babbles.

Truth be told, she had checked a few nearby mental asylums for a runaway, but none had returned her calls. She wouldn't rule him out as insane, but the blond sure had his ways with words. She almost believed in his story about being a ninja. Almost. Maybe it was his innate charisma. That or he was a hunk and she had been secluded from civilization due to work and her hormones were acting up.

Philena regained her composure and took a sip from her beverage. She really needed the caffeine. "I think you're getting it wrong, Naruto-san. Pokemon and humans coexist peacefully together. It is their desire to fight and be strong."

"How would you know if they have the desire to fight and be strong?" Pardon Naruto for being sceptical, but the last time he checked, these Pokemon couldn't convey their thoughts verbally like humans could. "Are you some sort of a telepath? Can you read their minds?"

"No." Philena hastily argued, "My field of research is not just about the physical variants of Pokemon inhabiting different regions around the world. I also study their ethology too. It is in their nature to fight. I wrote papers about it!"

Naruto folded his arms, plopped down on his seat, and arched a brow. "Whatever floats your boat."

"You don't look satisfied."

He shrugged. "Maybe you can coexist with these things without – I don't know – catch them and make them fight battles for you?"

The beautiful professor shook her head. "You don't need to see things so grimly, Naruto-san. I can assure you, Pokemon are not tools for war."

Naruto snorted. How dense and naïve can Philena be for her to say something as irresponsible as that? Three great forces ruled the world: stupidity, fear and greed. No matter how much Naruto hates to admit it, war is as ancient as human nature. These monsters – Pokemon, whatever they were called – were basically wildlife on steroids that could potentially raze a forest to the ground or raise a tsunami.

Worst of all, most of them had frightening attributes! Wasps that stood half as tall as a human. Rocks that could self-destruct. Slugs that were hot as the sun. Ghosts that pranked people with nightmares. Balloons that kidnapped children. Giant Venus Flytraps with stomach acid that could melt steel beams. Praying mantis that had scythes for arms. Yada, yada. The list went on and on. It's a miracle how the humans in this dystopian universe hadn't gone extinct yet.

"Let me get this straight." Naruto cleared his throat. "Ten year olds are allowed to catch these Pokemon for battles and nobody bats an eye?"

"It is encouraged, actually." Philena smiled weakly.

"Are you even hearing yourself? Who in the right mind thinks that sending kids into a forest filled with man-eating monsters is a great idea?"

It wasn't hypocritical of Naruto to criticise that logic. He was trained to be a lethal assassin when he was a mere child. Those 'aspiring' trainers were not mentally and physically prepare to roam dangerous forests! Not to mention, those ten year olds were qualified to catch Pokemon unsupervised and force those poor things to participate in glorified cockfighting. Did their parents want to breed sociopaths? Because that's how you breed socipaths!

From what Naruto had seen, Pokemon felt just as much pain, remorse, guilt, and sorrow as humans would, which means these creatures had intellect and emotions to make sense of things. How could this madhouse of a world find it morally acceptable to let kids subjugate Pokemon of mass destruction to their will?

Naruto nursed his throbbing forehead and heaved out a heavy sigh. "So, with a straight face, you are telling me how star-spangled awesome this world is and that humanity has not weaponised these Pokemon yet?"

The professor swallowed. "Well…"

"Well?"

"It's not that simple. A century ago, the Great Pokemon War wiped out half of humanity. We learned our lessons since then." Philena grimaced. "Yes, humans did weaponise Pokemon. Crime syndicates and terrorist groups have been trying to harness the power of Legendary Pokemon since Arceus knows how long, but we are not ignorant. We know how terrible wars are and we don't talk about it. We move on."

That was too much for Naruto to take in. "This is way out of our league, Kurama."

"She is out of your league, Naruto."

Naruto couldn't help but stare at her well-endowed… assets. It was mesmerising how it jiggled when she moved. A swimsuit model's physique, salt of the earth, and self-possessed, she's a complete package, if he chose to turn a blind eye to her lack of tidiness. Her house was akin to a dumpster, a major turn-off for Naruto to be honest.

He shook his head to clear away perverse thoughts. "There are bigger things to worry about than her magnificent boobs, Kurama!"

"I'm not the one fantasising about her boobs."

Naruto groaned inwardly. "What do think about this world?"

"Not as fuck up as ours, but still fuck up nonetheless. Nothing we can't handle though."

"Do you think we can get back to our world?"

"Possible. These… Pokemon possess inconceivable powers. I won't be surprise if some of them could manipulate space and time. Perhaps there are such Pokemon that can do that. If we want to get back to our godforsaken world, I suggest we find clues about it."

Naruto glanced up and caught the professor staring at him. She looked away with a flustered face and stirred her coffee furiously. "Professor Ivy -"

"Philena." She interjected and tucked a lock of violet hair behind her ear. "Please just call me Philena."

"Right, Philena. Do you know any Pokemon that can manipulate space and time?"

She tapped her jaw in contemplation, intrigued by the nature of the question. "What makes you think there are Pokemon that can do that?"

"Well, you have a friggin' dragon that lives in your swimming pool."

"It's a Gyarados. And it's not a dragon."

Naruto looked incredulously at Philena. "Then what the hell is that? An oversized snake?"

"Uhh…"

"Never mind! My point is… if Pokemon can manipulate the elements, then I bet there are Pokemon that can bend space and time, no?"

Philena nodded slowly. "You are correct. Dialga and Palkia."

"Dialga and Palkia?" Naruto repeated the words with confusion marred on his face. "What's that?"

"They are the Legendary Dragons that rule over time and space. Although I have not seen them myself, it is recorded that they appear frequently in the Sinnoh region. However, there are no credible data that could pinpoint their locations."

"So, if I want to return to my world, my best bet is to travel to Shino?"

"Sinnoh." Philena corrected. "And are you sure you're not using metaphors to describe where you come from? Perhaps you're from Kanto or something. Surely you must have hit your head or started hallucinating about an alternative dimension. Do you, by any chance, have amnesia?"

"I'm not a mental case! I know what I'm doing."

Philena looked unconvinced. "Then why are you so defensive all of a sudden?"

"She has a point. Why are you defensive? Are you secretly insane?"

"I'm not insane, Kurama!" Naruto bellowed, much to Philena shock.

"K-Kurama?" The professor darted her gaze frantically around the house, certifying that they were the only occupants. There was no Kurama and that freaked her out. "A-Are you talking to someone else?"

He realised he had unintentionally spooked the professor and raised his hands in a surrender notion. "Look, Kurama is just a demon fox inside my gut -"

Philena was sweating profusely and trepidation was making her blood run cold.

It was then Naruto heard himself. Of course he sounded like a lunatic. Scratching the back of his scalp sheepishly, Naruto smiled weakly at Philena. "Just forget what I said. I need to go to Sinnoh and find Dialga and Palkia. My world is in grave danger. I need to go back! Please, Philena, you got to help me."

Yes, she had to help him. This poor, deluded man was suffering not just from delirium, but severe schizophrenia too.

"Why don't you sit back and enjoy your tea. I'll go make some arrangement." Philena mustered a small smile and scrambled into the bowel of her laboratory. She was going to give a psychiatric hospital a call and make sure Naruto receives the treatment he so desperately needs.

Oblivious to his imminent predicament, Naruto was grinning with mirth. "Did you hear that, Kurama? I have found ourselves a way back to our world."

"I won't be so sure about that."

The blond raised a brow. "What makes you say that?"

"She reeks of fear."

"Yeah, so?"

"So? I think she is not going to give us directions to Sinnoh. We should leave while we still have the chance."

An ungodly earthquake struck, throwing the blond off his bearings. With profound dexterity, Naruto did a backflip and landed on his feet, unfazed by the disastrous tremors that were wrecking the entire Orange Archipelago. Unfortunately for Philena, she didn't receive training like Naruto did and fell flat on her back. Naruto heard her cry of agony and darted into her lab.

"Philena, you okay?" He scooped the professor up, one hand behind her back and the other under her knees. Like Prince Charming, Naruto's eyes that was sparkling with concern managed to enthral Philena's heart.

"I-I'm fine." She caught a glimpse of her monitors and gasped. "P-Put me down! I need to see this!"

Naruto did as he was told and let Philena gently down. She wore her spectacles and scanned through the cornucopia of data sent to her computers. "T-This is insane! This shouldn't be happening!"

"What shouldn't be happening?"

"The region's temperature level, humidity, atmospheric pressure, and all its meteorological variables are going haywire! The last time something drastic like this happened, the Legendary Birds were at war with each other."

Naruto was still bemused. "Legendary birds? War? What? Speak English."

Philena glowered at the blond. "I'm talking about the titans of the elements, Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres."

The blond deadpanned. "You said it like it's supposed to mean something."

"Of course they mean something!" Philena was seething; this man was impossible! "Articuno is the master of ice and snow. It can summon a snowstorm and bring about everlasting winter! Do you have any idea how screw up our planet's geographical poles gets when Articuno does that? Moltres is the incarnation of the sun, its presence creates drought and dries out wetlands. You can't possible fathom how many crops are ruined each year because of Moltres! Zapdos is storm itself. Wherever it goes, it heralds thunder, rain and floods!"

Naruto did a sturgeon face. "Sounds like someone needs to punch them in the face and make them pay for collateral."

Philena gritted her teeth. "You don't understand. They are Legendary Pokemon. Their strength is beyond our comprehension. An ordinary Pokemon would be no match against their combined might."

"Then you are just going to let them do whatever they want?"

"W-We… we can't do anything except praying for a miracle." Philena reached for her phone and dialled a few numbers. "I need to contact my peers and validate the data. If Articuno, Moltres, and Zapdos are on a rampage, we have to evacuate this island immediately."

"Don't bother." Naruto looked out of the window and spotted three flying creatures in the distance wrecking chaos upon the sea. "Are those things the legendary birds you're referring to?"

Philena followed Naruto's gaze, only to be horrified by the sight of the destruction incarnates: Articuno, Moltres, and Zapdos. She bolted out of her house and was hit by strong gales. If it wasn't for Naruto holding her shoulders, she would have tumbled clumsily to the asphalt. "T-This is impossible! How could my computers not detect their awakening? And the mass migration of all these Pokemon! Arceus have mercy!"

Terrestrial, aquatic and avian Pokemon from the Kanto region had gathered all over the Archipelago, witnessing restlessly and fearfully at the epic battle, an ominous sign of the looming apocalypse. Everything was happening too fast for the professor to process. Zapdos had brought down a hurricane, Articuno was raising a blizzard, and Moltres was engulfing everything in its raging inferno.

"W-We're doomed." Philena sank to her knees. Even if she had called for evacuation, it would take the rescue helicopter twenty minutes to arrive. Judging by the calamity that was unfolding before her, she didn't have twenty minutes to spare.

"Alright, I think this is my cue." Naruto stretched his limbs and cracked his knuckles.

A crestfallen Philena didn't hear the dauntless proclamation made by Naruto.

"Philena."

She was still in a trance, unable to register the direness of her reality.

"Oi! Philena!"

"W-What?"

"The problem is not a problem." Naruto smirked. "The problem is your attitude towards the problem."

She blinked, twice. "Huh?"

"After I beat those oversized turkeys, you're gonna tell me how to get to Sinnoh."

"What are you -"

Like a miracle, Naruto was encompassed by an ethereal cloak of brilliant effulgence. In a flash, he had soared to the dark sky like a shooting star, startling Philena. Her jaws went unhinged as she watched the blond broke the sound barriers, travelling beyond Mach 5. In the blink of an eye, he had reached the epicentre of a chaotic battle between three aggravated beasts.

Moltres didn't see it coming. Without hesitation, Naruto delivered a punch across Moltres's face with sheer herculean might that the impact propelled the bird of fire into a faraway mountain, effectively knocking it out cold. Articuno and Zapdos yelped in consternation and flew in circles around the enigmatic blond, who was levitating in the air. "One down, two more to go. Who's next?"

An infuriated Articuno let out an ear-piercing screech before it fired a beam of ice at the aloof blond. It expected its attack to hit its meddling adversary and encased him in a block of ice, but much to its chagrin and confusion, its target became a log. Articuno scanned its vicinity frantically, but it was too late. "Up here, bitch. Rasenshuriken!"

Articuno glanced up and was struck by a sphere of raw power. The devastating assault exploded in its face, inflicting thousands of cuts on its body. Articuno shrieked in pain and crashed into a colossal glacier. Zapdos was frightened by the surreal display of power. No human, in its knowledge, could beat Legendary Pokemon such as them with their bare hands.

Naruto turned to Zapdos, his murderous intent sent shivers crawling up the bird's spine. "You're next, asshole."

With great fortitude and temerity, Zapdos unleashed lightning that devoured everything in its warpath. Thunderstorms of catastrophic proportions were tearing the world asunder, generating a gargantuan supercell that threatened to level islands. Naruto gazed at the phenomenon with awe, astonished that Pokemon was capable of such feat. "But, at the end of the day, you're just an oversized turkey that needs to be put in check."

Naruto blitzed across the sky like lightning and appeared before Zapdos, his reared fist was fuelled with transcendental power. "I don't know what your problem is, but your temper tantrum is making a big mess. Night night, bitch."

A fist to the gut, a kick to the face, and a punch to the stomach were enough to throw Zapdos off its high horse and knock its light out. With Zapdos defeated, the black clouds were dispersed, allowing sunrays to warm the earth once again. Philena's jaw was still hanging in disbelief. A mere man had managed to quench the umbrage of the bloodthirsty birds without the use of Pokemon. "I-Impossible…"

It was a mind-boggling sight to see a man strolling with a swagger on the surface of the ocean, whistling a jovial tune, and hoisting the unconscious bodies of Articuno, Moltres, and Zapdos over his shoulder. He had discarded his charred jacket, no thanks to Zapdos and its lightning discharge. Philena was dumbfounded and awestruck by the might of Naruto that she didn't realise he was half-naked.

"I need new clothes. You happen to have an extra shirt for me to wear?"

"H-How?" She was gaping like a Magikarp.

Naruto blinked. "What? Something on my face?"

"Did you just take down the Legendary Birds? By yourself?"

"Yeah?" He responded like answering a question about the weather. "What's so wrong about that? I told you I'm a ninja. Wrestling with monsters is regular Tuesday for me."

"This is too much for me to handle."

"That's what she said." Naruto snickered, much to the professor's annoyance.

"At any rate, let's bring Articuno, Moltres, and Zapdos into my lab. They need medical attention."

X-o-X-o-X-

Philena never thought the day would come when she sees the mighty Legendary Birds quaver before the sight of a mere man, granted said man did beat them black and blue. If it wasn't for their unparalleled durability, they would have suffered irreparable damages that might render them unable to fly for the rest of their miserable lives. The incorrigible Naruto had the gall to laugh at their plight.

"Please be considerate, Naruto-san." The professor chided. "They deserve better."

"They deserve to get their ass handed to them for being a bunch of punk-ass bitches." Naruto turned to the sneering birds and tilted his chin. "What are ya looking at? Want another go?"

The ill-tempered Moltres flapped its wings and growled, flames were expelled from its nares.

"Just because you can burn the world down, doesn't mean you should do it. People like Philena don't want to be harsh on you, but that's just euphemism. You and your pals have a beef with each other and couldn't take your fight somewhere else. And then what? You just jumpstart the whole end-of-the-world fiasco because nobody tells you not to? You think you can do whatever you want without facing the consequences? There is always consequences!"

Moltres scoffed haughtily, wrath and hate were burning in its eyes as it glared at Naruto. While Articuno and Zapdos were beauty and strength personified, Moltres was the epitome of raw passion and elegance, a Pokemon that was proud of its formidable powers and had no tolerance for insolence.

"I know you understood me." A sinister grin played about Naruto's lips. Articuno and Zapdos gulped, but Moltres was still in defiant. It was not going to back down from a lowly mortal. "You're smart, but not lucky enough. News flash! There is a new Alpha in town and that ain't you anymore, fire turkey!"

The verbal jab peeved Moltres. It didn't know what turkey meant, but it was not going to let the insult slide. In the midst of its untamed fury, Moltres charged blindly at Naruto, much to Philena's horror. Bad mistake on Moltres's part. It was brash and overconfident of its strength, which cemented its downfall. Naruto vanished into a static blur, mortifying the fire Pokemon.

Swiftly, Naruto snaked an arm around Moltres's neck, pinned it to the unforgiving floor, and kept it in an unbreakable stranglehold. Moltres writhed beneath Naruto, a futile attempt to free itself. The more it struggled, the more its captor tightened his grip around its neck. "Are you done yet? Still think you're superior? Let this be a lesson to you. I am your consequence!"

Moltres shrieked, but Naruto did something that bewilder the Legendary Pokemon. He was healing its injury with his glowing hand, his gaze was softened and his voice became calm. "You got a lot of fight in you, fire turkey. Maybe you have a good heart too. But your pent-up rage is costing you. I'll take a wild guess and say that you're the one who started the fight with blue bird and thunder chicken over there, no?"

Articuno and Zapdos snorted.

"You need to learn how to channel your rage." Moltres remained still, allowing Naruto to heal its wounds. It looked away, but the blond knew it was paying rapt attention to him. "Maybe you might get stronger if you learn to do so. You can do some good if you want to. Don't be what you are born to be."

There were no words left to express Philena's stagger. Not only did Naruto manage to subdue the impulsive Moltres, but the prideful Pokemon was actually showing respect for the blond. It was truly a sight to behold. As for Naruto's prowess, she was done questioning it. The man had too much up his sleeves for the professor to comprehend.

"Alright, all done." Naruto wrestled himself to a standing position and strolled towards Philena, oblivious to how Moltres was staring at him with newfound admiration sparkling in its eyes.

X-o-X-o-X-

A week was ample time for Naruto to learn more about a world that thrived with paranormal creatures. Somehow, Moltres had developed an unhealthy fascination with the blond. It snuck glances at him when he was having his meal, stalked him when he was taking a shower, and became a bag of nerves when he was exercising shirtless under the hot sun.

"Don't you think Moltres is acting strangely around you, Naruto-san?" Philena shot Naruto a worried look, who was eating a bowl of ramen without a care in the world.

While Articuno and Zapdos had ventured home, Moltres chose to remain in Valencia Island, specifically in Philena's humble abode. Speaking of the devil, Moltres had ambled into the dining room, its eyes lit up when it saw Naruto. With jaunty steps, Moltres walked towards Naruto and preened his shirt collar, a sign of affection that avian Pokemon tends to showcase.

"Strangely?" Naruto petted the back of Moltres's head, much to its delight. It was crooning in glee from his touch, something that caught Philena's attention. "How?"

"I think it likes you."

Naruto snickered. "What is there not to like? Every molecule in my being is awesome. That's why I'm so awesome."

Philena rolled her eyes. "I think it wants you to be its trainer."

At that, Moltres perked up.

The blond finished the meat broth from his ramen, let out a sigh of content, and leaned into his seat. "Pokemon trainer? Ain't nobody got time for that. I'm not gonna camouflage myself, hide in a swamp, and go 'quack quack' for three hours straight just so I could catch myself a Ducklett. Do I look like a lowlife prick to you?"

"A Pokemon trainer doesn't necessarily need to catch Pokemon." The professor argued, "I believe Moltres wants you to teach it how to be stronger. By the way, we might have to refer to Moltres as a 'she' from now on."

It was a ground-breaking discovery for the professor. Legendary Pokemon might potentially have genders. It was almost impossible to capture one, lest study them, so the academia could only hypothesise that such mythical creatures reproduce asexually. Imagine how amazed the Pokemon community would be if such earth-shattering news got exposed to the public.

According to Philena's analysis, Zapdos was most likely a male, because it was very vocal, had a pronounced cere, and grew spectacularly bright plumage. On the other hand, Articuno and Moltres exhibited sexual dimorphism of the female sex.

"I don't have time for that." Naruto's declaration made Moltres deflated. "Let me make this clear. I condemn the notion of using Pokemon to fight my battles. If someone wants a piece of me, then I'll use my fist to do the talking. If my fist can't solve the problem, then I'll use words. Either way, there is no version of this where I let a fifteen inch yellow rodent fight for my honour. Do you know how ludicrous it is?"

"This is how this world works, Naruto-san." Philena protested.

"Doesn't mean I have to condone it." Naruto responded frostily. "If the norm of this world dictates that I should sell my children to slavery, am I morally obligated to do so? It may sound nonsensical to you, but I beg to differ."

Philena sighed. "Reject it all you want, but one day, you'll realise that this is how this world functions. The sooner you accept it, the better. Moltres is seeking for a strong trainer like you. The average Joes wouldn't be able to keep up with her, but you can. Unlike Articuno and Zapdos who are satisfied for being what they are, I think Moltres wants to be more than just a guardian of an island."

Naruto sighed and shifted his attention to a despondent Moltres, whose sight was downcast. He stroked her beak and got her to look at him. "Look, I don't belong in this world. Once I find Dialga and Palkia, I'm gonna make them transport me back to my universe."

Moltres let out a dejected wail.

"I'm not gonna lead you on or anything, Moltres. I don't intend to stay in this world." Naruto chuckled at how absurd his dilemma was. "Hell, I don't even know how long I'm gonna be around! I might find Dialga and Palkia next week!"

Enough was enough. Philena had it with Naruto dashing cold water on poor Moltres. "If you think things are going to go your way, then you're either incredibly naïve or incredibly stupid."

Naruto furrowed his brows. "Hey!"

"What makes you think you'll find Dialga and Palkia? Huh? Better men have tried and failed. The data about Dialga and Palkia being spotted in Sinnoh was dated a few decades ago! Don't you get it?" Philena raked a hand through her hair to vent out her anger. "The chance of you encountering Dialga and Palkia is slim! Okay, let's just say you did find them, then what? Do you really think they will do your bidding? Dialga and Palkia come from legends! They're basically gods!"

That last statement tickled Naruto's funny bone. Gods? He fought against the likes of Madara and Kaguya. Don't get him started with creepy-ass Kabuto and faggoty Orochimaru; Boogeyman had to check his closet for those self-loathing pieces of shit before he went to bed. If Naruto could beat revered Pokemon like Articuno, Moltres, and Zapdos without breaking a sweat, then how hard could it be for him to kick Dialga and Palkia's asses if push comes to shove?

"How about this?" Philena harrumphed. "You bring Moltres along with you. She gets to protect you and keep you company. You get to train her and make her stronger. It's a win-win."

Naruto scratched his temples, musing deeply in thought.

Moltres chirped, nuzzling the blond.

"I definitely don't need your protection and I can't guarantee that I can make you stronger, Moltres. Even so, do you still want to tag along?"

The bird of fire and passion nodded.

"Alright then." Naruto thrust out his bandaged fist. "Hit it."

Tilting its head, Moltres studied Naruto's fist with aroused curiosity.

"It's a sign of our friendship. Let's do a fist bump!"

Philena cocked a brow, not sure how to make do with this situation.

After an awkward silence intruded, Moltres raised her foot, balled her digits, and gently tapped Naruto's fist.

The world was never going to be the same again.

X-o-X-o-X-

"I can't thank you enough, Philena." Naruto suddenly pulled Philena to a warm hug, much to the professor's bliss and embarrassment. Interacting with a feely-touchy social butterfly who knew little about personal space was still foreign to her, but it was a pleasant experience nonetheless. Granted, Naruto was still an anomaly who despised Pokemon battles, a trait that made him charming and vexing at the same time.

"No sweat." Philena chuckled as the blond pulled away. "Here, I want you to have this."

Naruto arched a brow at the black orb in Philena's grasp. "What's this?"

"This is a Luxury Ball, a variant of the Pokeball. You will need it for Moltres."

"Wait a minute! Hold up! You want me to seal Moltres into this ball? I ain't doing that. The bird can have all the freedom she wants!"

"Don't be stubborn!" Philena reprimanded. "There are places where you may not be able to bring Moltres along with you. Besides, Moltres's presence can potentially dry up places. You don't want Moltres to unintentionally cause desertification and erosion. We're talking about shortage of water supply, famine, wildfire, and dust storms. That's how powerful Moltres is. Please, take this Luxury Ball with you."

Naruto sighed and took the ball, an impish smile found its way to his lips. "Fine, I'll take it, but that's because you want me to."

Philena averted her gaze. "Don't say stupid stuff like that. J-Just go on. The ship is not going to wait for you."

She managed to pull in some favours and got help from Drake, a world renowned trainer who had an affinity for dragons. In a stroke of luck, Drake was cruising in the Orange Archipelago after receiving news that the Legendary Birds were causing a ruckus. Knowing Drake well, Philena bet the crusty old man wanted to test the strength of his dragon Pokemon against Articuno, Moltres, and Zapdos.

"Ho, Ho!" Drake dropped a hand on Naruto's shoulder, a gesture that was very much unappreciated by the blond. "What do we have here? I thought you wanted me to deliver some precious cargo for you, Ivy. Turns out, it's your boyfriend you want me to send away."

"Naruto-san is not my boyfriend, you senile old fart!"

"Ho, ho! Rude as ever." Drake grinned. "Do you reckon the reason why you haven't landed a beau is because of your domineering attitude? Your father would be so disappointed in you."

"My father would have smacked you in the face for neglecting your duty as my uncle!"

"And you grew up to be an esteem Pokemon Professor without me!" Drake chortled heartily. "I guess that's kudos for me? Ha, ha!"

It was then Drake spotted Moltres standing behind Naruto and his eyes widened like saucer. He pointed a shaky finger at the flame Pokemon, a glint of childish and manic joy flashed across his eyes. "Is that what I think it is?"

Philena sighed. "Yes, it's -"

"IT'S A GODDAMN MOLTRES! I'M GONNA GET MY SALAMENCE TO SKEWER IT ALIVE, FEED IT TO MY SHELGON, AND MOUNT ITS HEAD IN MY BEDROOM! AH! MY ERECTION CAN ONLY GET SO HARD!" Drake hastily slapped a hand over his mouth and stared fearfully at a very disturbed Naruto and an unamused Philena. He regained his composure and coughed. "Ha, ha! Sorry about that. I tend to blurt out things whenever I get excited."

"Okay…" Naruto blinked slowly, took a cautious step away from the unstable man, and turned to Philena. "I don't think boarding his ship is a good idea."

"Don't worry about it." Philena waved a dismissive hand. "He may be eccentric, but he has a good heart. He is not that type of guy who will sneak into your bedroom at 2AM in the morning, sing a sailor song, play his pastoral pipes, and bawl his eyes out for two hours straight."

"The fact that you went on great length to describe something that he might not do does not reassure me whatsoever."

"Look." Philena's face turned solemn. "You have no idea how to get to Sinnoh. Drake is the only man I know who knows the sea more than anybody else. Now, he may be weird, but he can bring you there. You just need to put up with his shit for a few days and you'll get what you want."

Drake draped his hands over Naruto and Philena's shoulders, interrupting their conversation. Naruto winced at Drake's pungent breath, which smelled like cheap alcohol – that explains so much. "I ain't gonna bring him to Sinnoh without some incentives."

"Incentives?" Philena was furious, her eyes were blazing with betrayal. "We had a deal!"

"What can I say?" Drake dug his nose with his pinkie. "Gotta put food on the table, baby girl."

The professor growled. "Fine! What do you want?"

A wide, toothy grin tugged at Drake's mouth as he pointed at Moltres. "Yeah! Me and you! All day! Just me! On the ship! Don't hold me back! Balls in my waist! Not a game! By myself! Pokemon ready! Let's do this shit!"

Naruto knew Drake was riled up because the intoxicated ship captain was doing a tribal dance before a very confused Moltres.

"No thank you." The blond declined crudely. "I don't think Moltres is interested. I think I'll find my own way to Sinnoh."

"You perverted cocksucker!" Drake shrieked, shocking Naruto. The derogatory and gratuitous accusation caught the blond off guard. "How could a strong trainer like you back down from a battle? A battle between men! What are you? A sissy?"

In Naruto's dictionary, a battle between men usually involved fire and brimstone, awesome explosions, flattened mountains, angry war cries, and an all-out fight to the death situation, not pitting two animals in combat. "Oi! Take that back!"

Philena slapped her forehead; this wasn't going to turn out well.

"Sissy! Sissy! This pansy-ass boy is a sissy~!" Drake sang provocatively, earning him the ire of Naruto.

"I'm gonna shove my fist up where the sun doesn't shine and make you grovel before me!" Naruto grunted, his bottom eyelid twitched vigorously. If Drake wasn't Philena's uncle, he would have beaten the living daylight out of the drunkard.

"That's rich, coming from a sissy who doesn't dare to fight me!"

"I'll fight you alright!"

Hook, line, and sinker! Drake grinned with triumph and let out a guffaw. "Then it's settled! Your Moltres! My Salamence! One round! The old fashioned way! First Pokemon to get knock down loses!"

"Who the hell said I'm gonna get Moltres to fight for me?" The blond rolled up his sleeves and waved a threatening fist at the ship captain.

"That's the rule, gay-boy!" Drake's obnoxious and witty retort was getting under Naruto's skin.

Philena stepped in before things escalated beyond hope. With a placid and calm demeanour, she gave the blond a stern gaze and placed a hand on his muscular chest. "Naruto, it's time for you to accept how things run in this world. Do it. Accept Drake's challenge."

"What?"

"Look at Moltres!" Philena argued, "She's itching for a fight. Can't you tell?"

Bloodlust was painted on Moltres's features. Her pupils were dilated, her fiery wings flared, and her head raised; those were signs of aggression. Moltres shared the same sentiment as her master; she wanted to shut Drake up and assert her dominance. The majestic fire Pokemon turned to Naruto and cawed, eager to face adversity head on. There was no stopping Moltres from laying the smack down on Drake's Pokemon.

"That's the spirit!" Drake laughed aloud. "Show them who the boss is, Salamence!"

When Salamence emerged, it carried itself with an air of arrogance, as if it was invincible and untouchable. The high and mighty dragon regarded its opponent with cold disdain and that got Moltres pissed. How dare Salamence stared at her condescendingly? Not even Articuno or Zapdos dared roll their eyes before her! Moltres immediately concluded two things: Salamence was being a smug bitch and it was in need of a serious ass-whooping.

"Give Moltres instruction, Naruto!" Philena ushered.

"Instructions? How the hell do you want me to give her instructions when I know nothing about Pokemon battles! Just let her do her own thing!"

"Screw this!" Philena took a bold step forward. "Moltres, use -"

Moltres roared with vehemence.

Drake clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Butt out, Ivy! Moltres ain't gonna take orders from you! Her master is the pasty-ass sissy standing over there, not you!"

Naruto balled his fists; the guy was good at pushing his buttons. Philena backed down, knowing Drake was right. A dominant Pokemon like Moltres wouldn't obey her command. She didn't earn her right to command such an exquisite and strong Pokemon. She could only hope Naruto knows what he was doing. A fistfight and a Pokemon battle were two different things.

"Alright, Salamence! Make Moltres your bitch! Give her a nice flamethrower and toast her ass real crispy!" Salamence spew out a blast of hot fire, intending to incinerate its target.

Inside Naruto's mind, he already formulated countless simulations that would allow him to beat the dragon. Deploy Kage Bunshin as decoy, get Salamence distracted, strong jab to the face, dislocate its jaw, elbow to its back, fracture its ribs to cause internal haemorrhaging, and finish it for good with a Rasengan to its neck. That's what he would do, because he knew what he was capable of.

In Moltres's context, he knew nothing about her. He didn't know how fast she could fly. He didn't know how durable she could last. Hell, he didn't even know what arsenal of techniques she possessed. Those were red lights in the art of war! Never jump into battle without knowing thyself!

"Don't just stand there, Moltres! Fly and dodge it!" Moltres took off blazing to the sky and avoided the fireball, but the onslaught hadn't stopped yet. Salamence spouted a sea of terrific red flames in the air, the intensity of the heat was scorching the atmosphere.

"Moltres, avoid the fire and maintain your distance!"

Moltres was nimble as a feather, evading the assault effortlessly and whirling above the dragon. She was the living incarnation of fire itself; a mere fireball was not going to do her in. She had to give the egotistic dragon a lesson on humility.

"Now! Sweep down and let that overgrown lizard tastes its own medicine! Kick its butt!"

Moltres dove down with immense speed, her rage empowered her as she belched forth searing scarlet flames.

Drake had anticipated Moltres's moves. In fact, he was counting on it. "Rookie mistake! Salamence, show them what you're made of. Dragon rush!"

Azure energy enwrapped Salamence, fusing it with tremendous power. Without hesitation, the fearless dragon lunged itself towards danger, unfazed by the lick of the monstrous flames. Like a spear, Salamence pierced through fire unscathed and smashed itself brutally against Moltres, startling Naruto in the process. She withstood the brunt of that devastating assault, but it didn't come without cost.

Moltres was discombobulated, her ears were ringing and her vision jarred. She shook her head, trying desperately to recover her senses.

Drake snickered. "Hey, sissy! I'll throw this in. If you beat me, not only will I bring you to Sinnoh, I'll pay for your accommodation and meals. Hell, I'll even pay for your strippers! Knock yourself out good, will ya?"

While Drake was mouthing off, thousands of strategy were connived in Naruto's head. Salamence proved to be strong, so the only plausible way of taking down the damn dragon was to starve him out of energy. Judging by the dragon's weight, it would tire itself out if the battle was prolonged. This all came down to timing.

"I have no idea how an amateur like you manage to capture Moltres, but one thing is for sure!" Drake exclaimed. "You don't know jack-squat about the bond between Pokemon and its trainer! A fool like you who don't even have faith in the strength of your Pokemon will amount to nothing!"

"You talk a lot of smack for a fuck-tard!" Naruto turned to Moltres and shouted. "Moltres, you okay?"

The firebird grunted. She was still dizzy, but the taunting look on Salamence's face only made her want to rip its tight-ass a new one!

"Good. I need you to trust me now." Philena noticed the air around Naruto became heavy when his demeanour changed, his powerful eyes were gleaming with insurmountable confidence. "Do as I say. Cast off your fear! Do not hesitate! Hesitate means defeat! Defeat means death! Listen to my command!"

She nodded, her eyes burning with conviction.

"Good. Now, keep flying around the dragon. Attack only when I said so."

"You think I don't know what scheme you're cooking up? I won't let you! Salamence, finish that Moltres off with dragon rush!"

Salamence's thunderous roar shook the ship as it soared into the air, its body blazed with fury.

"Keep flying and don't let up!"

It became a wild goose chase. Every time Salamence catch up to its opponent, she would manoeuvre gracefully her way out of his crosshair. The dragon was relentless, but so did the firebird. It became a battle of endurance; whoever allowed fatigue to overwhelm their senses would be annihilated. Salamence was getting irritated and anxious, if his sloppiness was anything to go by.

"Now!" Naruto barked.

Acting on instinct, Moltres launched herself towards Salamence like a deadly missile, smashing into the dragon's side. The blindsided Salamence cried out in pain as it sailed across the battlefield like a ragdoll and fell into the ocean. The stunned Drake stared agape at Naruto in disbelief, his trembling finger pointed at the elated blond. "That was a lucky shot! Moltres ain't got what it takes to beat Salamence!"

"I'm hearing a lot of this." Naruto's fingers and thumb snapped together repeatedly, imitating a mouth-talking gesture. And then they stopped snapping. "And I want to hear this."

"You little shit! I -" Drake clutched his chest and stared blankly at Naruto. "I forgot to take my pills this morning and now I'm having a heart attack."

Just like that, Drake fell flat on his face, his body convulsing ever so slightly.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, turned to a horrified Philena, and pointed laxly at Drake's twitching form. "So… is this the part where I steal his ship and find my way to Sinnoh or should I give this asshole a few kicks just to make sure he isn't faking a heart attack?"

X-o-X-o-X-

Author Note: I hope this story is as epic as I envisioned. Now the real question comes: which Pokemon are going to join Naruto? I have a few options in mind, but there are 800 Pokemon out there. Hence, I would like to ask my readers for advice regarding the choices of Pokemon for Naruto. As of now, I'm thinking Lucario and Zoroark. If you have any suggestions, please do let me know and tell me why.

Pairings:
1.) NarutoXCynthia
2.) NarutoXLorelei
3.) NarutoXSabrina
4.) NarutoXSuggestion

Leave a review and let me know how you feel :D